Euro 2020 - Part 5 (Is Anyone Beginning to Think That) It's Coming Home

How Big is My Big Fat Fucking Head?

Day 18 Friday 2^nd July – Spain 1 Switzerland 1 (3-1 on pens), Italy 2 Belgium 1

The first Quarter Final was Spain against Switzerland. Spain had started the tournament sluggishly and were actually in danger of going out of the tournament in the group stages until they clicked and hammered Slovakia 5-0 and some people somewhere one assumes, made some money at the bookies.  The Spanish scored five again against Croatia in the Round of 16 but somehow, the perception is that they are a team that can’t score goals. This image is of course because of the performances of Alvaro Morata. Nevertheless, he will no doubt be present again today as they take on the Swiss, surprise conquerors of France in the last round. The more I think about that, the more glorious it gets. Also though, I would find it surprising if they are able to go to the well one more time today.

Spain took the lead early on in somewhat fortuitous fashion as a ropey corner from the right was hammered back into the penalty area by Jordi Alba, flicked off a defender and gave Sommer absolutely no chance. The rest of the first half is nothing much to write home about but the Swiss start of the second-half well and started taking the game to Spain. Ekanji headed wider and Zuber had a close range effort blocked by Simon. They eventually got back in it when Laporte thought he was playing for France and combined with Pau Torres to completely fuck up a harmless looking ball forward. The ball broke to Froyler, who teed up Shaqiri and the little fat bloke knocked it into the net.   Having worked so hard to get back into the game, the Swiss then attempted to commit suicide with Froyler steaming into a challenge on Moreno and catches him with his trailing leg. It’s harsh as you like but off he goes.

The last 10 minutes of the game and the extra time period were basically an attack versus defence training exercise and as we know, the Spanish don’t have that clinical striker so couldn’t force to win so off we went to penalties.

Azpilicueta Celebrates After Goalkeeper Watches Penalty Go into Orbit

The Swiss must’ve been confident going into the penalty shoot-out because they won one a few days ago and the Spanish have 100% record in major tournaments of losing every single fucking one. Anyway, the form book was somewhat turned on its head as Switzerland, with four out of the five penalty takers who took one the other night available, contrived to miss three out of the first four with only Gavranovic finding the net whilst Ekanji, Schaer and Vargas all missed horribly.  Spain just about did enough with Oyarzabal knocking in the winner.   It was tough on the Swiss to go out that way, especially after fighting their way to the penalty shoot-out with 10 men but if you’d offered them a quarter-final place before the tournament started, they would’ve taken your hand off for it.  They can leave the tournament with their heads held high, knowing that they beat the World Cup holders and any team that knocks France out is a friend of mine. The Spanish didn’t look entirely convincing but they are the first team through to the semi-finals.

This My Son, is Defending

Italy and Belgium was the heavyweight clash of the quarter-finals. De Bruyne was fit for the Belgians and they brought in Doku to replace the injured Hazard the Better. The Italians made a couple of changes with Chiesa coming in for Berardi and Georgio Chiellini was fit again. At 38, he has of course been around for years but it’s amazing to see the man who is probably the last to old school Italian defender, Still playing international football at this age.

It was his defensive partner, the 34-year-old youngster Bonnuci who looked to put the Italians head after about 10 minutes when a free kick was delivered from the right hand side, di Lorenzo nudged it on and Bonucci eventually bundled it into the net with his stomach. Unfortunately, the touch on by di Lorenzo meant he weas offside and so one replay was all that was needed to show that it was going to be ruled out. The Italians responded to that setback by just playing in exactly the same way and Belgium had their first decent effort on goal as De Bruyne carried the ball forward before smashing it with his left foot from 25 yards and forcing a sprawling one-handed save from Donarumma, who according to Danny Murphy, is going to be quite a good goalkeeper one day. The Belgian defence was good one day… but it was a long time ago. They have a combined age of about 120 between three of them and they creaked alarmingly as Barela got free inside the box and smashed it across Courtois and in at the far post.  The most remarkable thing about this goal was the contribution of Ciro Immobile. He was basically lying on the ground feigning injury and this put off the very experienced Thomas Vermaelen who forgot about defending just to go and tell him to get up. As soon as the ball hit the net then Immobile was mobile again, funny that.

Having had a warning, the Belgian defence then allowed Insigne to do what he’s always trying to do, which is cutting from the left, onto his right foot and hitting it at the far corner. Neither Alderweireld or Vermaelen covered themselves in glory, static as they were but it was a brilliant strike and Courtois once again had absolutely no chance. The Italians looked to be going in with a very well deserved 2-0 halftime lead until Doku took on Di Lorenzo on the outside, DeLorenzo lent on him and Doku hit the deck. Penalty was given by the Slovenian referee and VAR wasn’t about to overturn it because there was contact. Not enough contact to shove him to the floor but there was contact. Let’s just say that Doku earned the penalty and put himself on the ground rather than the Italian putting him there. Up stepped Lukaku to halve the arrears.

Belgium should’ve been level just after half-time as the ridiculously quick Doku went down the right hand side and pulled the ball across, taking out three Italian defenders and the goalkeeper and it looked like a tap in at the back post for Lukaku but there is no such thing as a tap in for Lukaku when it’s on his right foot.  He managed to poke it goalwards but Spinazzola had got back to block the ball on the line. The miracle of this is that it was Spinazzola, nominally a left back but rarely back on his own and a half. Doku was the main man, weaving across the pitch from the r left hand side, beating three men before crashing over from the edge of the box. For the last 15 minutes, Italians were the Italians of old with some of the most incredible shithousery techniques you have ever seen to waste time. It was almost beautiful in its execution. The one bit of bad news for them was that the excellent Spinazzola collapsed to the ground and whilst Dr Vertonghen insisted he got back to his feet, it turned out afterwards that he had ruptured his achilles and so will be out for the rest of the tournament.

The Italians seem to have a lot of momentum and are going to be tough to stop.  The injury to Spinazzola is going to mean a change in style of play but they'll adapt.  Mancini is a good manager of course and their defenders, whilst as old as Belgium's, are still putting in top level performances.  Chiellini in particular, was brilliant today.

KDB: Doesn't matter what I do, look at those old clowns at the back

Chiellini: Yeah but they're all younger than me

The Belgians meanwhile, can console themselves with the meaningless title of being the Number One ranked team in the world which they have been for the last three years.  You don’t get a medal for that, which to my mind, shows what a load of old bollocks it is. They need to find a new defence before the World Cup in 18 months and I also have a feeling that when it comes to their business end of tournaments, when you are playing the really good sides, their manager isn’t up to it either.

Day 19 - Saturday 3^rd July (Denmark 2 Czech Republic 1, Ukraine 0 England 4)

Delaney Celebrates Having the Penalty Area to Himself

Denmark versus Czech Republic was the appetiser on Saturday and of interest to England because we would hopefully be playing whoever won this game. The Danes were favourites but I expected this to be a close game because the Czech’s looked decent against the Dutch.  However, if you leave players free at corners then you’re in for a long day and it was 1-0 to Denmark after only five minutes as Stryger Larsen’s corner was powerfully headed home by Delaney, who had the freedom of the penalty area to run into. The Czech’s tried to get back into it but in reality, Denmark looked really comfortable and made it 2-0 after 25 minutes when Vestergaard put Maehle away on the left and he curled in a ridiculous cross with the outside of his right foot and Dolberg come steaming in at the back post to double the lead. The Czech’s had to make a better game of it in the second half and Schick added a few more zeros to his price tag by guiding home a cross from the left wing with a smartly taken volley to make it 2-1.  They didn’t seem to have the energy however to make Denmark really work for the win and they held out relatively comfortably to make their fairytale continue.

One Goal appears to Have Cured all Kane's Movement Issues

England had had to travel for the first time in the tournament and were in Rome to play against Andrei Shevchenko’s Ukraine. As usual, the team leaked on the morning of the game and according to that, we were back to a four-man defence and despite therefore, us having an extra attacking player on the pitch and despite his involvement with two goals in the Germany game Jack Grealish was again left out with Mason Mount and Jaden Sancho coming in for Trippier and Saka. Coincidentally I’m sure, Sancho had that morning been revealed as a Manchester United player. So, the talk was that now he was free from distractions, he would be picked.  As it turns out, Bukayo Saka was carrying a knock and Sancho it’s probably the nearest like for like replacement in the squad. I still don’t get it really but after the Germany game, I have decided not to take issue with Gareth Southgate’s decisions. Let’s just go with it and trust that he knows what he’s doing.

We have barely been going three minutes and Raheem Sterling looks like he’s run up a dead end on the left hand side but when off-balance, manages to slide in a wonderful ball to Harry Kane who is clean through and he almost toe pokes it past the keeper into the net. What a fucking start – Harry is alive!  The rest of the first half was fairly controlled, limiting Ukraine to one half chance and having a couple of attempts ourselves with Rice smashing one straight down the keepers throat and then Sancho really should’ve done better when he took a marvellous touch and turn on the edge of the box before firing straight the keeper.

If we were worried that Ukraine were going to come out and have a serious go at it in the second half, such fears were dispelled within five minutes as England won a corner on the left.  Shaw’s delivery was on the money and there was Maguire to get that big fat fucking head of his on it and bullet it into the net. A couple of minutes later and Shaw again down the left, crosses for Kane to head powerfully through the keepers legs from 8 yards to put the game completely to bed. The rest of the game was an absolute cakewalk with England keeping control of the ball for long periods of time and Ukraine waiting for the plane back to Kyiv. Southgate even had the luxury of being able to substitute all the players who were on yellow cards, with Rice and Phillips being replaced with Henderson and Bellingham and it was a nice moment when the corner from the right by Mount was headed in by Henderson at the near post for his first international goal after 50 odd games. Easy.

With a semi-final place secured in such emphatic fashion, there is course the problem now of keeping a lid on expectations.  England have a semi-final against Denmark at Wembley and win that and the final is of course at Wembley as well.  However hyped the fans get, we can rest assured that Southgate will keep a lid on it in camp. He has undoubtedly created an atmosphere which has a lot more humility than previous England groups and the players all seem to be supporting eachother, no matter what.

Denmark will be the best team England have played so far, by a long way. The attacking talents of Dolberg and Damsgaard and the full backs Stryger Larsen and Maehle will need to be contained but if England can do that then, with the players we have in the front half of the pitch, we should have enough to get through, no matter how much Denmark are carried on a tide of Christian Eriksen emotion. They are a popular team so maybe the gammon headed element of our fan base won't boo the Danish national anthem this time. 

I’d just like to highlight by Quarter Final predictions, which picked 4 out of 4 winners, with one perfect score… they were:

Belgium 1 Italy 2, Czech Republic 1 Denmark 3, England 2 Ukraine 0, Spain 2 Switzerland 1

Anyhow, for the semi-finals I’m going with:
Spain 1 Italy 2
England 3 Denmark 2 (aet)

Euro 2020 Part 4 - (OK, I Accept That There's a Possibility That) It's Coming Home

 

Cheer Up Thomas!

Stop press, England want to offer Gareth Southgate a new contract to take him up to 2024. Do we never learn anything? Didn’t we do this with Fabio Capello and then we absolutely stunk in the World Cup in 2010 and then couldn’t get rid of him because it would’ve cost too much money? It’s absolutely ludicrous to even think about offering Southgate a new contract until this tournament is over. Fuck me, if we go out and play shit negative football and get beaten by the Germans on Tuesday, then this will have been a tournament played exclusively at Wembley and we will have sucked ass both in reality and in public perception. Just no. Don’t fucking do it.

Day 14 Saturday 26th June – Wales 0 Denmark 4, Italy 2 Austria 0

But Ref... We've Travelled Fucking Miles

Moving on - In the 1998 World Cup, there was a round after the first group stage which had 16 teams in it and it was called “The Second Round”. In that round, England lost to Argentina on penalties when David Beckham kicked Simeone up the arse.  The point of bringing this up is that it is no longer called the Second Round but the Round of 16 which as you know, is the number of teams that should’ve been in the tournament in the first place. We don’t call it the Round of Eight or the Round of Four, when we get to the quarter-finals and semi-finals and there’s never been a Round of 32 anywhere. I don’t know why but it just annoys me.

A bit like the coverage of the Welsh in this tournament. Every time we get a studio full of Welsh people - Gabby Logan, Ashley Williams, Hal Robson-Turmeric-Supplements-Kanu and ex-Saints legend Mark Hughes. On top of that, we get Robbie “The Prick’s Prick” Savage on co-commentary, with insightful comments like “wow” and “phew”. Ryan Giggs is nowhere to be seen. Surprise that! It’s like he doesn’t exist.

Savage had a little bit to get excited about in the first 20 minutes as Wales started the better and Bale put a long-range drive narrowly wide. Denmark sussed out the way Wales were playing and tweaked their formation and from that moment on, it was simply a case of how many Denmark would win by. It’s safe to say that they absolutely pissed it. Four goals to nil and Wales lost their shit at the end and started hacking into people. The ball started rolling at the end of the first half with Maehle and Damsgaard combining to release Dolberg who rifled a superb shot into the bottom corner from 25 yards. The second goal was game over and there is an element of controversy about it because it was probably a free-kick to Wales up the other end of the pitch but maybe instead of worrying about that, they could’ve actually done some defending and it might have been helpful when the cross came into the box, if Neco Williams hadn’t tried to use the left foot that he clearly hasn’t got and hadn’t spammed it back across his own goal for Dolberg to make it 2-0. The third goal from Maehle confirmed that he has been one of the best players in this tournament. As an aside, it’s interesting that he got linked with Southampton last year - I think he may be out of our £10 million price range by now.  

Harry Wilson, who is a horrible little shithouse, then decided that he would hack Maehle down in full flight with no interest whatsoever in the ball and then looked surprised when the referee sent him off. To be fair you don’t usually get sent off for this sort of tackle as it wasn’t dangerous as such but I have no problem with players getting sent off for challenges where they are about 10 yards from the ball and just deliberately taking a player out.  Denmark scored a fourth through Braithwaite in the last couple of minutes and this was particularly hilarious because there was a very long VAR check, so Wales had to wait around a good few minutes at the end of a game that they had already lost, just to find out if they’d lost it by more.

Back to the studio for some Taff-punditry, which of course focused on the potential foul in the build up to the second goal and the fact that in the build up for the same goal, it might have gone out of play.  They showed a replay of Braithwaite clearly keeping the ball in play and then went back to the pundits who said “well that looked out”.  No it fucking didn’t you twat. Then we had “no excuses but…“  and then all the excuses about having to travel more than the Denmark team were wheeled out.  Yeah, Denmark have had it far easier than Wales.. they had a player nearly die on the pitch… shut up!

Interim manager Rob Page gave an interview which he will probably regret later.  He seemed to be implying that it was totally unfair because they were the better side for the first 20 minutes until the Denmark manager changed his tactics. That’s how football works you fucking League Two idiot. Manager spots a problem and changes it so team is better. Surprising that no one is discussing one of the ready-made excuses, which is that the proper manager wasn’t there. Maybe the England team are filming a celebratory video of Wales going out… But somehow I doubt it because we might not be very good, but we are not a bunch of small time tinpot wankers.

Denmark are going to take some beating. They play as a team and are technically very, very good. After all they’ve been through, all I can say is good luck to them and I hope they go far. They play attacking football, have an astute manager and have had to delve deep into their squad and just seem to be getting better and better as the tournament goes on.

Italy against Austria should really have been a walk in the park for the Italians but there was a question mark over them because the best team they had faced in their group was Wales. However, tonight‘s opponents Austria, were pretty ropey in their group games as well and qualified due to finishing above Ukraine and North Macedonia so no big deal really. The first half was mainly all Italy but they didn’t look like scoring. Lots of good play in midfield and then usually getting into the final third and then losing the ball. The second-half carried on in much the same vein with Austria coming more into it and it look like a shock was on the cards and 75 minutes when Arnautovic headed in. It would’ve been the first goal Italy conceded since about 1938 but if we go to VAR and the goal is correctly ruled out. The decision is undoubtedly correct and it’s made all the more funny because it’s Arnautovic of course. Into extra time we went and Mancini brought on Chiesa for the misfiring Berardi and it was the sub who opened the scoring, producing a really smart finish from the right and side of the box, nodding the ball backwards to create himself an angle and they’re smashing it in first time with his left foot. Another sub Passina, made it 2-0 not long after that and so the Austrian challenge fizzled out. To be fair, they acquitted themselves pretty well but it’s the Italians who go on to play the winner of the very interesting looking Belgium versus Portugal game.

Day 15 - Sunday 27th June – Netherlands 0 Czech Republic 2, Belgium 1 Portugal 0

A Greater and Lesser Hazard

Like the Italians, the Dutch have got this far, winning three games out of three and not playing anyone any good. They also, like the Italians, have played all of their games at home and this was their first trip somewhere else in Europe, to Budapest to take on the Czech Republic who had of course qualified in third place in England’s group. I got the impression that the Dutch thought they were going to steam roller this but one thing that was apparent was that they weren’t playing as a team where is the Czech’s really were, defending as a unit and attacking with purpose. 0-0 at half time and then 10 minutes into the second-half, the defining moment as Malen got clean through and ran in on goal with just a goalkeeper to beat.  He tried to go round him instead of slotting it and Vaslik pulled off a good old fashion block at the forwards feet.  Straight from that the ball went up the other end and de Ligt should’ve dealt with it but he slipped over and with Schick about to run through on goal he shovelled it back with his hand. The referee initially just booked him, VAR got involved, correctly sent the ref to the monitor and he decided on second viewing that it denied a clear goalscoring opportunity, so off he went. Technology and referee working perfectly to quickly get the right decision.

That shouldn’t necessarily have meant that the Dutch caved in but manager Frank de Boer royally fucked up by keeping five at the back with a back three of De Vrij, Blind and van Aanholt. The Czech’s had already looked dangerous from free kicks with de Ligt on the pitch, so the Dutch could really have done without Stekelenburg needlessly juggling the ball out of play and then van Aanholt needlessly giving away a stupid fail from the corner. Over came the freekick, headed back and there was Holes to thump a header past the defender on the line. Stekelenburg should’ve been in goal but he made a half-arsed attempt to try and catch the initial freekick and was way out of position. The Dutch needed their big players to step up but the big players just did nothing. Frenkie De Jong got all petulant and Memphis Depay didn’t seem to find a single Dutch player with any of his passes. As it turned out the Czech’s broke again down the left, pulled the ball back and there was Schick to sweep a superb left footed finish first time in at the near post. Brilliant goal and a thoroughly deserved win.

Portugal against Belgium was of course, the first real heavyweight clash of the tournament and for the first half, it was fucking boring. Portugal’s default mode is to be really, really dull and defensive and Belgium didn’t have the wit to break them down. Just before half-time, Thorgan Hazard the Lesser, picked up the ball on the left hand side about 30 yards out and just lashed it. Rui Patricio took a step to his right which turned out to be fatal as the ball moved a mile in the air and sped past him on the other side. Bit of a goalkeeping error because the ball didn’t exactly go into the corner. From that moment on, Portugal were a team transformed and threw the sink at it, throwing on attacker after attacker to support the previously isolated Cristiano Ronaldo.

It probably didn’t feel like it at the time but Belgium saw it out relatively comfortably. The experience of Alderweireld, Vermaelen and Vertonghen, even though they have an average age of about 37, did the job they were required to do. Portugal hit the post through Guerreiro but other than that, Courtois was barely called upon. Belgium go through to what should be a fantastic game against Italy in the quarter-finals but will have to do it without Kevin De Bruyne who was cynically taken out by some snide little arsehole called Paulinho who Portugal had a midfield. They might also have to do without Eden Hazard the Greater, who twinged one of his little fat hamstrings again. As the game ended, Pepe went into “I’m 38 and I’m probably retiring and I don’t give a fuck“ mode and started wiping players out but anyone who had “Pepe red card” on their betting slip was ultimately disappointed.  Personally, I had “Ronaldo crying like a baby” on my accumulator and I lost, as the great man managed to keep it in, this time.

Day 16 - Monday 28th June – Croatia 3 Spain 5 (aet), France 3 Switzerland 3 (4-5 pens)

Not Funny At All

I had a feeling that Croatia in Spain was going to be a decent game but for the first half an hour, it didn’t really look like it. Croatia sat deep in Spain did that pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, Morata, miss thing. Our favourite profligate striker had a glorious chance with a free header from 5 yards out but chose sideways instead of forwards and so the chance went begging. Hilariously, Spanish wonderkid Pedri, then pinged a ball straight back to his own goalkeeper and Simon totally missed it to put Croatia 1-0 in front. 40 yard own goal by the 18-year-old. For fucks sake Simon!  Whilst the masochist in me was hoping that it would be the only goal of the game, it’s probably quite good for the mental well-being of the goalkeeper that Spain equalised when The Croat keeper could only parry out a shot from the left and there was Sarabia to ram it into the roof of the net.

The second-half started and it was all Spain with Ferran Torres on the left, picking out Azpilicueta, who had continued his run after starting the move, with a superb cross to make it 2-1. Spain suddenly turned into peak Xavi & Iniesta Spain and it was soon 3-1, with a bizarre goal as they pinged a big diagonal out to the right wing and Ferren Torres ran in front of the Croatian left back and just walked unopposed to the goal before passing it into the corner. Game over, or so we thought.

85 minutes gone and still nothing to see here until Modrić suddenly found himself running in on the goalkeeper and following a spot of pinball, Orsic managed to bundle it over the line. It wasn’t finished there then as we got to 92 minutes Orsic swung over a brilliant cross on the left-hand side and there was Pasalic, totally unmarked to bullet the header past Simon to send us to extra time.

Croatia had the first big chance of extra time as a ball pinged around in Spanish box and fell to Kramaric, once of Leicester City, about 6 yards out he managed to hit the goalkeeper when he had the whole goal to either side and above him to hit. Great save, shite finish. Talking of shite finishers, at the other end and across from the right wing by Olmo, was missed by the Croatian right back and Morata is possessed by the spirit of something or someone decent, brings it down and smashes it into the roof of the net for them to put the Spanish in front again.  That’s it - the Spanish score another goal as well which doesn’t matter because Croatia are now officially done – they clearly missed the suspended “one of the best defenders in the world”.

Having got my breath back from that game, it was time for France against Switzerland which on paper, didn’t promise anything much. France have been functional so far and Switzerland have been bang average. However, France started the game very sluggishly and Switzerland looked bang up for it and it was made much more interesting after 10 minutes when Zuber’s cross on the left was superbly headed in by Seferovic.  Deschamps is an interesting manager in that he chose today to totally change the formation that France have been playing and the back three off of Verane, Lenglet and Kimpembe, played like they had never met each other before. With Rabiot out of position on the left and Pavard not pushing forward, the midfield two of Kante and Pogba were getting overrun, with Granit Xhaka being the star of the show.

In the second half, we got to see the real France for 20 minutes but only after Switzerland are awarded and miss a penalty, awarded for a quite ridiculous challenge by Pavard on Zuber which the ref gave after a VAR check.  Rodriguez’ penalty though was one of those where if Lloris goes the right way then he saves it and sure enough, he did. 10 minutes later and France are 3-1 up. First Griezmann put Benzema through and he produced a ridiculous bit of  skill to get the ball in front of him before poking into the net. Next up, a shot by substitute Griezmann, was deflected up in the air and there was Benzema to nod in from virtually under the bar and then Pogba.  He’s an enigma and he’s not everyone’s cup of tea but fuck me, did he produce something quite ridiculously brilliant, bending a shot into the top corner from about 30 yards.  Like Pogba. France looked absolutely brilliant and it all went a bit showboat and everyone was talking about the quarter-final against Spain, which made what happened next even more funny.

3-2 with 10 minutes to go as a cross from the right wing was powerfully headed home again by Seferovic.  You would have thought that Varane and Kimpembe would have good enough memories to remember that half an hour ago, this guy scored when completely unmarked.  It still look like the Swiss we’re going to run out of time, then Pogba pissed around in midfield and lost the ball, one pass from Xhaka and substitute Gavranovic easily stepped round Kimpembe, who totally sold himself, and fired into the corner to send it to extra time but not before Coman went up the other end and hit the bar.  Not a lot happened in extra time, so penalties it was.

Now, bearing in mind Switzerland’s first choice penalty taker was absolutely shocking, I was expecting France to win this comfortably but Switzerland went first and the first nine kicks were all comfortably scored and then up steps Mbappe.  He’d been shite today with most of the French attacks breaking down on him, usually through him holding the ball too long and trying a shot which was inevitably blocked. Could he score a penalty with the eyes of the world on him? Nope, Jan Sommer guessed right and saved it and so the Swiss go through to play Spain in the quarter-finals after all.  It’s always nice when the favourites go out isn’t it – especially when they’ve pissed it away.

No, Definitely Not Funny

What a mental day of football that was.

Day 17 Tuesday 29th June - England 2 Germany 0, Ukraine 2 Sweden 1 (aet)

Sterling, Grealish, Shaw and a Pitch Invader

Rumours started to emerge that Gareth Southgate was going to go with a back five against Germany and his rumour proved to be correct with the only change from the Czech Republic game being Jack Grealish left out and Kieran Trippier brought in.  I have to admit to being disappointed but not remotely surprised. The last time England use this formation was in the Europa league when it ended up as a 7-0-3 and there was no connection between the midfield and the front players at all. If you play attacking football and lose, there is a bit of forgiveness because at least you are having a go. If you set up to be dour and defensive and don’t win then the sympathy will be in short supply because they will be absolutely nothing to fall back on. I guess you have to admire Southgate for having the courage of his convictions.

The first half was pretty uneventful with England failing to come up with any decent balls into the box and Germany not being much better. England had one effort from Sterling from distance which Neuer saved comfortably and the German Shane Long, Timo Werner had an effort which was well smothered by Pickford.  Right on half time a chance fell to Harry Kane but his attempt to take a touch and finish gave away his lack of form, as the ball ran away from him.  An on-form Kane would have shot first time.  The formation wasn’t really working with the full-backs not getting forward and Rice and Phillips therefore having to go and press on their own.

The second half saw an early attempt from Havertz, acrobatically tipped over by Pickford. Yes it was straight at him but he absolutely fucking hammered it so he did well to get it over the bar. 65 minutes and nothing much happening and the cautious one decided it was time to bring on the attacking players from the bench. In order to do this of course, he had to take off one of our attacking players because you can never have too many of them and Saka came off for Grealish. Then it happened. Sterling picked up the ball in midfield and ran directly towards the goal, fed Kane, back to Grealish and the perfectly weighted ball in front of Shaw to roll in from the left and Sterling it made in his way into the box to put it under Neuer. Get in.

Sterling had a go at going from hero to zero by coughing up possession in midfield and one pass from Havertz later, Thomas Müller of all people was clean through on goal but when faced with the mighty Pickford, he totally shat his pants in un-German fashion and dribbled it wide of the left-hand post. That miss would’ve brought on a really intense scratch and sniff session from his manager.

Harry Kane has basically been walking about upfront for the whole of the tournament so far and I don’t reckon there was an England fan out there who would’ve complained if he’d been substituted at some point but he was still here and he was in the right place as Shaw carried the ball forwards, got the ball out to Grealish on the left and he put over a perfect cross for Kane to stoop and head into the net. Game over. See you later Germany.

Efficient is often a word used in connection with Germans and German football but England were the efficient ones today. We did what we had to do to win the game and you can’t criticise that. Sure, we are not the most entertaining side but we are very well organised, very hard to beat and we have enough good players to create enough to score. Portugal won the tournament last time, playing the same way.  It’s a formula that will be hard for a lot of people to buy in to but whilst wins against the likes of Czech Republic and Croatia are nice, they don’t really convince anyone.  This is Germany however and this is a statement win, this was a 4-1 vs Holland in Euro 96 win. The mood has changed and even the more cynical are now getting cautiously optimistic – that’s me by the way.  Fuck it - give Gareth a new contract.  England will find out who they play after the next game in a few hours but it’s in Rome on Saturday and there is the potential for this to be the only away game that we play in the entire tournament. We are never going to have a better chance of reaching a major international final.

So, Sweden versus Ukraine. The game actually started in quite entertaining fashion with Ukraine taking the lead, well created by Yarmolenko and finish superbly by Zinchenko. Twenty minutes later Sweden were level when Forsberg took aim from the edge of the box and got a fortunate deflection which bounced the ball over the goalkeeper. Half-time came and went and if the first half had been surprisingly entertaining, the second half was shite. Both teams hit the post but in general terms it was piss poor. This led to the inevitable extra time when both teams just started kicking the fuck out of each other. Sweden’s Danielsson was sent off for a high follow-through after clearly winning the ball. Once it went to VAR and got slowed down, he was a dead man. Extra time trundled on with Ukraine kind of half looking to take advantage of having one more man and Sweden just being content to hold on for penalties. 121 minutes on the clock and ball finds its way out to Zinchenko on the left and he gets over a perfect cross and one of the many substitutes, Dovbyk (I swear Jonathan Pearce called him Dogdick) stoops to crash the header past Olsen to send Ukraine through to play England.

Quarter-final predictions:
Belgium 1 Italy 2
Czech Republic 1 Denmark 3
England 2 Ukraine 0
Spain 2 Switzerland 1

Caveat: My predictions for the Round of 16 were absolute shite… Three winners out of eight, those being Denmark, Italy and England

Euro 2020 Part 3 - (A Kind Draw but I Still Don't Think) It's Coming Home

Italy and Mancini - Cool as Fuck

Day 10 Monday 20th June

As the third and final round of group games kicks off, the main thought in my head about the tournament as a whole is what a load of bollocks this format is, with four third-place teams getting through to the next round. Basically, the Euros should be 16 teams with half the teams going out in each round until you get to the final and that’s all there is to it.  Having 36 group matches to eliminate 8 teams is absurd.

No doubt, the response to the general dislike of the 24 team format will mean 32 teams qualify because after all, it’s all about the money. One day will have so fucking many that the Faroe Islands will qualify by beating Gibraltar in a play-off or the Super League clubs will be able to enter their reserve teams. There’s an idea that that Pérez twat from Real Madrid hasn’t thought of yet.

With Italy already through after two games, it was no surprise to see them rest eight players against Wales. Wales were virtually through as well having four points so basically all they needed to do was avoid getting battered by too many. If that happened there was a slight chance that Switzerland would catch them. Mind you, the Swiss were playing against the dark horses of Turkey, or the dark turkeys of Horsey or something like that.

In the end it was all rather predictable. Italy Reserves outplayed Wales from start to finish but it wasn’t quite as joined up and fluid as in their previous performances and despite constant pressure they were only one up at half-time. Ethan Ampadu then managed to get himself sent off for one of those tackles which looks like a yellow at full speed, but once VAR slows it down and you add an over officious referee into he mix, ends up a red.  Most of the rest of the game was spent in Wales half but they held out relatively comfortably to only get beaten by 1-0. The other game was going to be decided by who could buck the trend. Switzerland have been dreadfully boring so far and Turkey have just been completely shite. As it turned out, Switzerland turned up and Turkey showed that they are nothing if not consistent and produced what they had in the previous two games. There were some great goals in this game, two of which from the enigma that is Xherdan Shaqiri and it was nice to see Turkey get a goal as a consolation for turning up. What we can learn from Turkey at this tournament is that if someone tries to predict a real outsider to win a tournament, you are free to laugh at them. Switzerland, despite being dreadfully boring for two matches are more than likely going to go through as one of the least shit third-place sides with 4 points and a -1 goal difference.

Day 11 Tuesday 21st June

Football With Fans is Everything

The Ultimate Group of Life involving the Netherlands and three shite teams was up next with the Netherlands predictably romping to a 3-0 win over North Macedonia. Gini Wijnaldum is a completely different player in Orange, then he has been in red for the last few seasons. Again, the Dutch showed exactly how England should be playing, with full backs bombing forward and runners joining in from midfield, one of whom of course was Wijnaldum, who helped himself to two goals. North Macedonia we’re ultimately not good enough but I have to admit that they added an element of fun to the tournament, mainly because they were so open. The number of times they lost the ball when they had half of the team in front of it, was quite remarkable.

Like Switzerland yesterday, Austria bucked the trend of being dreadful in the first two games and managed to squeak past Ukraine 1-0 with a goal by Baumgartner after about 15 minutes. They will be the team that everyone wants to face in the next round but that privilege will go to Italy. It will be interesting to see the odds on Austria in that game because it could be some of the longest odds you’ve seen in international tournament football in a two horse race. Ukraine, despite losing two matches, have a decent chance of getting through as well.  Three points gained by beating North Macedonia gets them through.

Belgium are already through of course, so they rested a load of players for their game against Finland. This was a bit rich because Denmark, everyone’s second favourite team, were relying on Belgium to win, in order to give them the best chance of getting through if they beat Russia. As it turned out there was no need to worry. At half time, Belgians had not found a way past the determined Finland defence as yet and Denmark were winning 1-0 in Copenhagen, courtesy of a nice goal by Damsgaard, who curled a shot into somewhere near the top corner from the edge of the box. Don’t really know what the young Russian goalkeeper was at that point.

The first goal in the second halves, was the Danes going 2-0 up when an absolutely shocking back pass presented Poulson with an open goal and then there was a massive cheer in Copenhagen as Lukaku scored for Belgium. The fact that it went to VAR was lost on everybody and a couple of minutes later, that goal got disallowed at exactly the same time that Vestergaard went near a Russian forward who fell over to win a penalty which was dispatched by Dzyuba. In the space of about 15 seconds it was threatening to go to shit for Denmark but they got back into their stride and punished a poor Russian side. The goalkeeper made a couple of decent saves in quick succession but the ball ran out to Andreas Christensen 35 yards out and he just lashed it first time into the net and it was finished off by one of those attacking fullbacks that Gareth Southgate thinks England don’t need, Joakim Maeler scored the fourth on the break.

You have to be a heart of stone to not to be delighted for Denmark because with Belgium eventually scoring a couple of goals, courtesy of an own goal and Lukaku, they managed to finish second with just the three points. Finland eventually finished third but with three points and a -2 goal difference, they are unlikely to be one of the less shit losers. The full house in Copenhagen was a sight to behold with fans crying and beer going everywhere. It was a reminder of how great football can be. Belgium will play one of the shit losers in the next round whereas Denmark are off to Amsterdam to play against the Welsh.

As a footnote, this result means that even if England get beaten by the Czech Republic tomorrow, they have qualified for the last 16. Well done Gareth. On the subject of England, two players I’ve had to self isolate because they came into contact with Billy Gilmour of Scotland who tested positive for COVID-19. His Chelsea team mates Mason Mount and Ben Chilwell won’t be playing for England for 10 days because they were in contact with Gilmour after the game. Mason Mount certainly wasn’t in contact with him during the game. This will give Gareth a decision to make with one of his favourites missing and my money is on Jordan Henderson being picked to replace him.

Billy Covid Forces Southgate to Change the Team

Day 12 Wednesday 22nd June

The "Draw at Wembley" Trophy Is Ours!!!

The culmination of England’s group which is really all about the Scotland against Croatia game. Whoever wins that will qualify for the last 16 and if it’s a draw then both will go out. There are lots of hopeful noises coming out of Scotland and calls to make history and all that sort of stuff. I have to admit that are part of me hopes they do it, mainly because of the two Southampton players in the team but there is a part of me I hope they fail horribly, maybe with a horrible controversial VAR incident in the 94th minute. England meanwhile are playing the Czech Republic at Wembley and it’s a case of win the game and stay at Wembley for the last 16 game, probably against one of Germany or France or not win the game, come second in the group and have a more winnable last 16 game against someone like Poland or Sweden but then run into France in the quarter-finals. Maybe it will make a difference to Gareth Southgate and the perception of how well the tournament has gone. Quarter-finals doesn’t sound too bad but losing in the last 16 is not a good look.

Anyhow, with Mount unavailable, Southgate had to change the team so it meant a start for Grealish and also surprisingly, a start for Saka, in place of Foden who was not in the match Day 23. England actually start the game really well, playing at a fast pace and looking to get on the front foot straight away. This is being led by Saka and Grealish.  Sterling lobs the keeper and hits the post before we open the scoring after an excellent break by Saka up the right. The ball ends up with Grealish on the left, who takes on the full back and stands up a lovely cross for Sterling to head in at the back post. The rest of the first half was decent. The Czech’s had a few openings but Pickford was not seriously tested and at half time, some of the gloom around England had been lifted. I have to say that the inclusion of Maguire meant that there was at least some progressive passing out of the defence.  In the course of the first half, they had been some cheering and laughter at Wembley and Scotland went behind two ago from Rebic but McGregor’s equaliser just before half-time meant that we still all to play for at Hampden in the second half.  Scotland have scored a goal.  This is not a drill.

Henderson came on at half-time to justify his selection for the original squad and for the first five minutes, started well. And then we reverted to normal. The last 40 minutes went back to being one of those performances where it feels like time stops, as England became turgid and crablike and uninspiring. Grealish and Saka were taken off, hopefully to be rested for the next game and Jaden Sancho got given eight minutes at the end of the game. This was eight minutes more than Dominic Calvert Lewin it was forced to spend another 90 minutes watching Kane lumber about with no success. Rashford came on as a sub as usual and once again showed nothing.  Job done, clean sheet, dull as you like.

The two biggest cheers of the second half we are courtesy of Luka Modrić and Ivan Perisic. Modrić slamming in an exquisite go on the outside of his right boot from the edge of the box and Perisic flicking in a near post header from a corner into the net to enable Croatia to comfortably see off Scotland and take second place in the group. Scotland can console themselves with the “Didn’t lose to England” trophy.

Over the course of England’s three group games, we have played well for about 20 minutes to get to Croatia in about 50 minutes today (if you are being charitable). The step up in the level of opposition in our next game is going to be absolutely huge and so far, we have not shown enough to remotely suggest that we will be able to compete. We will be hard to beat and it may well go to extra time and penalties but that shouldn’t be what this team is about. We have no discernible pattern of play and are just relying on individuals for individually brilliant moments. Grealish and Saka both deserve to keep their places, ahead of Foden and Mount (if he’s available) so let’s hope that they and that Sterling continues his knack of knowing where the ball is going to drop 3 yards out and that Kane actually wakes up. Sterling and Kane have both been poor across the three games but Sterling’s two goals have glossed over that in his case somewhat.  Am I going to go on about our set pieces again? Yes I am.

They were uniformly dreadful with it being like a tombola to see who had a go at putting in the next delivery. You wonder how many will be competent at taking a penalty. Different skill I know but it does make you wonder.

Day 13 Thursday 23rd June

Yeah, That's a Foul

The main interest in group E for the neutral, was wondering if Spain were going to go out having drawn their first two games. They were up against Slovakia, with Sweden playing Poland. In that game, Sweden were already through and Poland had to win. All you need to say about the Spanish game was that they went one up when Martin Dubravka turned to face his own goal and tried to punch the ball over the bar but instead just punched in the net for one of the worst goalkeeper own goals you could ever really wish to see.  In the 70s there was a goalkeeper called Gary Sprake, who threw the ball in his own net which was largely believed to be the worst keeper error of all time but this is pretty close to that. After that, Slovakia played like they’re really couldn’t be arsed and got pumped 5-0. If they had kept it to 1-0, then they would possibly have sneaked through as one of the slightly less shit 3^rd place teams, but no.  Sweden and Poland was a classic with Sweden taking the lead through Forsberg after two minutes. Poland virtually from that moment on, threw the sink at it and really should’ve equalised before half time when Lewandowski managed to hit the bar twice in the same move. The second-half saw Sweden and Forsberg score early again and now Poland really threw the sink at it. Lewandowski cut in from the left and curled the ball over Olsson to make it 2-1 and then found himself all alone in the middle of the penalty area to equalise.  Poland really deserved it to go their way but eventually, as we reached the 91st minute, they over-committed and Sweden worked it well for Claessen to make it 3-2 and send Poland home. Sweden, despite being a horribly dull team have won the group with Spain in second which shakes up the knockout round because Spain will now be in the other half of the draw and Sweden will be in with England.

The Group of Death at France against Portugal and Germany against Hungary. With Germany playing at home, they were expected to beat the Hungarians pretty comfortably but went 1-0 down through Sallai and for a while, the ‘As It Stands’ table was showing Germany finishing fourth and going out - surely this is too much to hope for. The France v Portugal game was turning into a bit of a classic with Portugal taking the lead with a Ronaldo penalty and then Benzema equalising, also from the spot when a ridiculous decision got given in favour of them Mbappe who has clearly been playing with Neymar too long as he threw himself to the ground.  It was 1-1 at half time and the Germans were still losing, meaning that at the moment, England are playing Hungary in the next round. France took the lead through Benzema and Ronaldo equalised with another penalty (this time for Lloris going for a punch and connecting with a Portuguese head) but it became clear that the other game was far more interesting.

The Germans eventually equalised when the Hungarian goalkeeper had an absolute fucking shocker and came rushing out for a cross he was never going to get. This ended with Hummels heading the ball towards goal and Havertz bundling it in from on the goal line. Straight from the kick-off though, a long ball forward and Hungary were back in front. 10 minutes stood between the Germans going out. It was going to be beautiful. It was going to be hilarious but ultimately, it didn’t fucking happen because Goretska fired one in from the edge of the box which deflected past the goalkeeper. There was to be no Hungarian miracle and so with both games ultimately ending to all, France won the group, Germany came second and Portugal went through fairly comfortably in third place.

Thus endeth the Group Stages.

The two halves of the draw are really lopsided now. In one half, you have Italy, Belgium, France and Portugal of the big hitters, whilst in the other half, you have the Netherlands, Germany and England – Netherlands haven’t played anyone good yet but at least looked good, Germany have had one good performance out of three and England haven’t played anyone any good but still looked very average.   From an England point of view, it’s hard not to look ahead - England have Germany at Wembley in the round of 16, followed by a Quarter-final against either Sweden or Ukraine and the other four teams England could meet in the semi-final are Netherlands, Denmark, Wales or the Czech Republic.

One game at a time though so, can we get past the Germans.  I’m expecting a back 5 and two holding midfielders from Southgate and I’m expecting a lot of arse fingering and ball juggling from Low…  If his team turn up like they did against Portugal then they’ll probably beat us.  If not then we may well see penalties or at best, a 1-0 England win.

Quarter Final predictions are:

Wales 1 Denmark 2
Italy 3 Austria 0
Netherlands 2 Czech Republic 0
Belgium 2 Portugal 2 (Portugal win on penalties)
Croatia 1 Spain 1 (Croatia win on penalties)
France 3 Switzerland 0
England 1 Germany 0 (aet)
Sweden 2 Ukraine 1

Euro 2020 Part 2 - (It'll be a fucking miracle if) It's Coming Home

 

First Penalty On the Moon

Day 6 – Wednesday 16th June

The second round of matches started with one of those games that no one really wants to watch with Finland taking on Russia in St Petersburg. Russia had clearly got their timing right for this game because they had a lot more energy than they had in their limp defeat against Belgium. Very odd. Finland thought they taken the lead when the guy with the unpronounceable name, who scored against Denmark, got on the end of a cross but he was ever so marginally offside. It’s a correct call but you know, it’s so close as to be ridiculous and no one from Russia was appealing for offside. Just before half-time, Miranchuk put Russia in front after playing a nice 1-2 in the box and curling it into the top corner. Brilliant goal. The expected Finnish recovery in the second-half didn’t really happen and Russia wasted a lot of chances to improve their goal difference, which I guess may be important after their 3-0 defeat by Belgium. Anyhow, I’m sure that Comrade Putin will be happy with them getting three points.

Off to Azerbaijan for Wales against Turkey and what was virtually an away game for the Welsh. Here we have two teams competing to finish second behind Italy. Turkey were dark horses for the tournament for from their first game and I couldn’t see why and after this game, they are more donkeys than horses and they are not winning any race. They were absolutely shite and Wales won a lot more comfortably than scoring the clinching goal in the 94th minute, actually suggests. Both Aaron Ramsey and Gareth Bale missed sitters with Bale hitting a somewhat fortuitously awarded penalty at the Baku moon but Ramsey’s goal before half time gave them a deserve lead and though they came a bit under pressure in the second half, Wales survived easily enough.  One chance blazed over from Yilmaz and one half decent save by Ward.  In the 93rd minute, Bale hilariously managed to work the same short corner routine twice in a row which allowed him to run along the goal line towards the goal. The first time Turkey got away with it but the second time he managed to tee-up Connor Roberts who made it virtually certain that Wales will be qualifying for the next round in either second or third place.  Well played the Welsh though I cannot stress enough how shite Turkey were but you can only be what’s in front of you and Wales thoroughly deserved to win. Robbie Savage was co-commentator again and gave less professional insight than any pissed-up boyo sitting in a pub in any town in Wales would’ve done. In fact, a pissed-up Welsh speaking boyo in a pub in any town in Wales would’ve offered more insight and made more sense to me, than Robbie Savage. The title of “The Pricks Prick” is completely safe.

You know how I said that Sweden were one of those teams that get through and add absolutely fuck all to the tournament - Switzerland are the same.  They were very average against Wales and today against Italy, they were merely on the pitch at the same time. They did absolutely fuck all in a game which also illustrated how good the Italians are. Not only are they brilliant in attack creating chance after chance, they are superb defensively and here’s the hot take – they play as a team. On the rare occasions that Switzerland got anywhere near their goal I’ve got about eight players closing the ball down or throwing themselves at it. As well as that they’ve got Donnarumma in goal, who looks ridiculously imposing.  They had Gianluigi Bouffon for years and now they’ve got this guy. If England are talking about being major players for the tournament then the Italians are a frightening yardstick. Locatelli in midfield scored two wonderful goals and Immobile finally scored with his 248th effort at the goal. 3-0, absolutely easy And the Italians are the first team through.

Vestergaard Inpects the Number on the Back of Lukaku's Shirt, Again

Day 7 - Thursday 17th June

The graveyard shift saw Ukraine play North Macedonia in one of the Groups of Life, so-called because the Dutch are decent but every other team is shite. With a game of little quality expected Ukraine looks set to win at a canter going 2-0 up half-time with goals from Yarmolenko and Yaremchuk but they sat back allowing North Macedonia some hope and they were eventually awarded a penalty which Alioski, recently at Leeds, missed but managed to stuff the rebound into the net. In truth, Ukraine held out relatively comfortably to get a result which will probably get them through to the next round.  They even missed a penalty of their own at the end.

The main dish of the day was Denmark against Belgium it was sure to be an emotional game after the Christian Eriksen incident from Denmark‘s first game. Denmark were absolutely on fire at the start of the game and tore into Belgium we didn’t seem to know what hit them and a horrific mistake by Jason Deneyer gifted the ball to Hojbjerg, who picked out Christian Paulson to drill it across Courtois and into the far corner to give the Danes a 1-0 lead after about two minutes. It was all Denmark for pretty much the rest of the first half, without really testing Courtois further. There was no way the Belgians were going to be as bad in the second half and they got back into the game by simply bringing on some better players from the bench. The first three subs they brought on were De Bruyne, Eden Hazard and Axel Witsel. It was a mistake by Vestergaard which allowed Lukaku to bully his way down the right hand side before finding De Bruyne in the box and he passed up the opportunity of shooting to absolutely lay on a plate for Thorgen Hazard The Lesser, to make it 1-1. De Bruyne had a fantastic game and capped it off with what turned out to be the winning goal as Lukaku picked him out on the left hand side and he didn’t break stride and just absolutely smashed it past Schmeichel at his near post. Very little blame attached to the keeper though as it was just a brilliant strike. More 24 team nonsense today because Denmark have lost both games but can still go through if they beat Russia in their final game – in their case though, it’s good that they’re still in with a shout.

Netherlands against Austria was exactly as I expected it to be. The Dutch bossed it from the start and Austria basically turned up and watched them do it. It was just a case of how long it would take for the Dutch to score and in the end it was about 10 minutes when the rampaging Dumfries got chopped down on the edge of the penalty area and Depay dispatched the penalty. They should’ve scored about three more before half-time but Depay put an absolute sitter over the bar after Weghorst set him up but there was no danger of Austria making them pay for missing chances in about 20 minutes into the second-half the Dutch broke through the dreadful Austrian high line and Malen drew the last offender before teeing up Dumfries to make it 2-0. End of story, the Dutch go through and you can add Austria to the teams that have added absolutely nothing to this tournament and it’s another nail in the 24 team format.

Day 8 - Friday 18th June

Kane Doesn't move Very Fast These Days

We’ve got the best game possible for the graveyard shift. Sweden versus Slovakia. You must be out of your tiny little mind if you think I’m going to watch that. I’ll stick to the condensed highlights which will be lucky to reach 30 seconds. Okay, I’ll admit I did watch a bit more than that but it was absolute flat-pack IKEA boring shit. In the first half, I thought Sweden still thought they were playing against Spain as they just sat in two lines of four on the edge of their own penalty area and basically did nothing. Isak up front, has got the weight of the whole country on his shoulders because no one does anything remotely resembling anything creative. Slovakia won their first game of course so they were basically out for a draw today and they would’ve got it but for Isak having one of his moments where Dubravka carelessly carted him over. Robbie Savage lookalike Forsberg, dispatched the penalty and that was it. Sweden, despite being absolutely shite, are going to make it through to the last 16. At least Zlatan made them slightly interesting when he was playing and you can see why he’d make them a better team now at the age of 39.

The other two teams in England’s group were next to the Czech Republic taking on Croatia at Hampden Park. I didn’t see anything in this game that made me change my mind about anything I previously thought. Both of these teams are pretty average. The Czech Republic have a striker who is decent and Croatia are over the hill. They had Lovren in the team today and he gave a penalty away by basically jumping and heading the ball. His elbow did make contact with Schick’s head but there is no way he meant it and no way he was even aware that the player was there. Complete joke of a decision. Schick scored the penalty and it look like Croatia were heading for the second defeat but Perisic cut in from the left wing and smashed a shot past the goalkeeper, who made the decision to try and save it with a clenched fist rather than making his hands as big as possible by stretching his fingers out. He would probably have saved it then.

England against Scotland at Wembley and the build-up was one that got you genuinely excited about it all.  Clips of Gazza in 96, goalposts breaking, Kevin Keegan and all that. In the ground, both sets of supporters were giving it large and the anthems being sung at full pelt really built things up nicely and I was really looking forward to it. And then the game started. Scotland the first a show with Adams having a shot blocked when he was left unmarked about 10 yards out and England hit the post relatively early on when Stones rose unchallenged to head Mount’s corner onto the post – has to score there. Scotland continued to carry a threat and Stephen O’Donnell brought a very good save out of Pickford. Like in the first game, for the last 25 minutes of the first half, England were shocking with stodgy possession sideways and backwards and not linking the midfield and attack at all. Phillips was playing a lot deeper than he did against the Croatia, so he and Rice were basically just stood in front of the back four. With the fullbacks not getting forward it was the 6–0-4 formation – a variation on Southgate’s often employed 7-0-3 formation.

Changes were needed at half time – the Rice, Phillips, Mount midfield wasn’t working at all and the full backs weren’t getting forward.  Kane had hardly had a touch and Sterling had looked bright for about 15 minutes but then disappeared. No changes in personnel or style as the second half got going in much the same pattern.  Foden was the best one out of our front six so of course, when it was time to make a sub, he got substituted to be replaced by Grealish because we have course can only have one exciting player on the pitch at any one time. Grealish had a couple of moments but couldn’t do it on his own and he wasn’t getting much help from Sterling or the Bermuda Triangle in midfield.  It was bollocks - Kane was substituted again after 80 minutes of lethargic lumbering about and we were left with hoping for a set piece or a bit of Grealish magic.  The trouble with the set pieces today was that Mount clearly thinks that the ideal height to put in a corner or a free-kick is 4 foot off the ground.  For the last ten minutes,  Rice and Phillips stayed stationed just in front of the back four – just in case Scotland turned into 1982-era Brazil – and that’s now two games for Rice with next to zero passes forwards. The full-backs still didn’t get forward much at all and the game petered out with Scotland gaining a very deserved point. It would’ve been an absolute fucking travesty if we had nicked it.  If anything, Scotland were the better side – a team comfortable in the system they have.

As far as qualification for the next round is concerned, there is no damage done because we could lose to the Czech Republic and still go through but talking up this England side as potential winners, is about as far-fetched as it can get. Southgate is the main problem of course. He settled for a draw at half-time today and to be that risk averse against a team like Scotland it’s just ridiculous – a midfield that doesn’t pass the ball forwards, full backs who don’t get forward. It sounds like I’m being disparaging to Scotland and I really don’t mean to be, they were really very good, outplaying us in midfield and always looking the more dangerous. They had a game plan which was better than England’s and it goes to show that a good team is A lot more than the sum of its parts. More questions than answers for England and I really don’t trust Gareth Southgate to come up with the answers – questions have to be asked over his favourites like Kane, Sterling and Mount after today.  With the likes of Grealish, Bellingham and Sancho, to name but three, sitting on the bench, there is no need to persevere with underperforming players.  I anticipate Henderson and Maguire coming back.

Southampton Fan Bit: A lot was said about James Ward-Prowse when he was left out of the squad (twice).  A lot of the arguments made against his inclusion were from fans of other clubs who don’t watch football outside of goal highlights.  If he’d come on for last half an hour today, of course our set piece delivery would have been better but also, the tempo of passing from midfield would have been much higher and our play from open play would have been much better.  Southgate decided against it though.  JWP in a midfield three with Mount and one of Rice/Phillips would have been a massive upgrade.

Day 9 – Saturday 19^th June

Moment that Preceded Unfortunate Events

France turned up in Hungary for what I expected to be a bit of a procession and a comfortable victory but it ended up being anything but. France proved that if you don’t take your chances then things can go wrong with Griezmann, Mbappe and Benzema, all missing chances you would expect them to score before Hungary got in their half once and Fiana ran through the right-hand side of the French team and slotted in at the near post to give the Magyars the lead. It was never going to last though and after Deschamps put Dembélé on, France immediately looked more dangerous and Griezmann eventually scored with 25 minutes to go. More chances came and went but Hungary held out for a very deserved point in front of 60,000 not socially distanced, very loud Hungarian fans in Budapest.

Reports of Germany’s demise have been greatly exaggerated it seems. They started the better against Portugal and thought they’d taken the lead after about 10 minutes but it was narrowly offside. The Germans must been feeling like it was just going to be one of those tournaments for them, as five minutes after that, Ronaldo won a header on the edge of his own box, Bernardo Silva carried the ball forward before crossing a superb diagonal ball to Jota, to take on his chest, draw Neuer out and touch sideways and there was Ronaldo to run it into the empty goal. Brilliant counter attacking goal.

Germany had this novel tactic that Gareth Southgate could learn from in that they actually attacked with pace and the full-backs got forward and this brought them level as Gosens fired in the cross which Ruben Dias smashed into his own net because he tried to use the wrong foot. Five minutes later and another Gosens cross was missed by everybody and eventually Kimmich fired it back across and it was another Portuguese defender, Gurreiro this time, who supplied the finishing touch. Two more German goals followed after the break with Havertz converting another cross from the left wing by Gosens and then Gosens himself headed in at the back stick with Kimmich put over a perfect cross. Absolutely brilliant from the Germans but I don’t know how Nelson Semedo is considered to even be a footballer, let alone an international defender. At 4-1 down, Portugal went out of counter-attacking mode and pulled one back when Ronaldo teed up Jota to score from virtually under the crossbar. He probably thought about diving though. Renato Sanches nearly gave us an interesting last 10 minutes but he crashed a long-range shot against the post as Manuel Neuer just watched. Bruno Fernandes started again for Portugal and I haven’t mentioned him yet because he was absolutely shite.

The game between Spain and Poland surprised me a bit because I expected Spain to win quite comfortably but I reckoned without their complete inability to put the ball in the net. Morata did put them ahead with a goal that was initially disallowed for offside but VAR gave the goal. Poland stuck at it and should’ve equalised through Lewandowski but he smashed it straight in the keeper. Poland kept at it though and equalised with a superb Lewandowski header before the referee attempted to gift Spain the winner by awarding them a penalty for basically fuck all. Up stepped Moreno and hit the post and the rebound went straight back to the one player you wouldn’t want to go back to, Morata, who spooned it high and wide. Poland then set up to defend the living shit out of it and managed to get the point that keeps them in the competition and gives them a chance of progressing. Spain are in trouble. Fail to beat Slovakia in the third game and they may well go out.

Thus endeth the second round of games.  Germany showed exactly how England should be playing with midfield players looking to go forward and full-backs providing the width. Four goals against Portugal, all created by the full-backs and one of them finished off by the full-back as well. Reece James and Luke Shaw would’ve been back on the halfway line. We may get to see that match-up pretty soon because if England win their group and Germany come second, the old enemies play each other in the last 16. They will be the first decent team that we’ve played…..