League 1 Match 38 - Southampton 2 Charlton 0

He robs from the Skates

Two games ago we played at Charlton and drew 1-1, having a perfectly good winning goal chalked off because the linesman was colourblind and couldn’t see the bright red shirt that was clearly playing Dany N’Guessen onside. Officials haven’t been good to us this season regarding Charlton as the only reason we’re playing them twice in such quick succession is because Andy D’Urso wanted to go home and play with his toys on Boxing Day when all the players and staff of both teams wanted to play.

Since the Fake Dons game, we’ve completed the signing of Jack Stephens from Plymouth who for this season, is only available for the under 18s. The club couldn’t resist having a swipe at The Echo who reported that he was signing a cash plus add-ons 4 year deal when in fact it was a straight fee and a player can only sign for 3 years on his first professional contract. As unbelievable as it may sound - Daily Echo in basic facts wrong shocker. Evening games are great for me, involving as they do, a mad dash home from Brighton before attempting 10 minutes of muti-tasking - this being, changing clothes, shoving some food down my neck, locating season ticket and letting the dog out before he pees on the floor. That done and it’s back in the car, over to Woolston, park up, Itchen Bridge.... 7.45 hurrah!!!

I heard the team news from outside the ground as it was being announced – Richardson, Dickson, Stephens in the starting XI – sounds like Nigel is playing Tinkerman again. As it transpires, Chappers and Butters are benched and Harding is beached altogether. Personally, I’ve been advocating Dickson playing for quite a while and Chappers has been a bit off recently so I’m happy enough. For Charlton, it’s all about Bradley Wright-Phillips who as we all know, is going to score. Today it’s also about Elliott in the Charlton goal whose shirt is bright pink. You could wear that if you were going to a fancy dress party dressed as a penis. If I was a keeper and they’d given me that to wear, it would have been returned to the kit man at 100mph with a demand for a green or a yellow one.

As the teams line up at the start, I cast a quick eye over to the Charlton support which is at a guess, numbering about 300 – truly pathetic. I wonder if when you’re a player and you come out to be greeted by that – it’s got to be a bit deflating. We took over 3000 to a midweek game at their place two weeks ago and whilst I’m not saying we’re fantastic, 300ish is an abysmal number of travelling supporters from a relatively big club for a geographically close game.

Saints had the first chance when they were awarded a free kick on the left hand edge of the box when Christian Dailly jumped for a header and was surprised that the ref spotted both his hands on top of Sir Rickie’s head. Sir Rickie’s hit the free kick well but the Pen1s managed to punch it away. Charlton broke down the left wing with Richardson conspicuously absent and sent in a dangerous cross which was missed by BWP and sliced horribly wide by Wagstaff. Ah Wagstaff! What a pathetic blouse of a footballer. Twice in quick succession he was run off the ball by Ryan Dickson and both times he laid on the ground waving his arms around pleading for a free kick.

Both challenges were 100% not a foul and if Charlton had had any fans there - they’d be embarrassed. After ten minutes, Dad turns to me and comments that Guly hasn’t touched the ball yet which is right enough. He’s stayed out wide but hardly been near the ball all game. 30 seconds later and Sir Rickie plays a ball into Barnard who lays it off in front of the Gulyman who is in acres and running in on the pink one. I was 100% confident he was going to score and he didn’t disappoint and what’s this, a first half goal!

Dickson and Lallana were terrorising the right hand side of the Charlton defence and Charlton were limited in their approach, mainly trying to play balls over the top for BWP to run onto. Many of these balls however, resulted in Jaidi v BWP heading competitions which was a bit like Monster Truck v Tricycle. I was hoping to see the Jaidi ‘Train’ move where everyone in his path gets killed but he was finding it easy enough just jumping and cleanly powering it away.

Hammond and Stephens of course hadn’t had the necessary time to get used to eachother and were therefore occupying the same area of the pitch for much of the time. A lot of our attacking impetus seemed to break down in the centre with Stephens in particular taking pace out of the attacks. In the main we were keeping the ball well enough though with Barnard and Lallana a constant threat.

Wagstaff then demonstrated that there may be a footballer in there after all with a decent drive from about 20 yards which Kelvin pushed away. Disruption ahoy a few minutes later as all eyes were on a Saints attack and no one was looking at Stephens who was crumpled in a heap in the centre circle, the victim of what is assumed to be a late, off the ball tackle. Off he went on a stretcher to be replaced by Chappers who was wearing the latest footballers fashion accessory, suspender belts on the back of his legs. Anyone remember the Robbie Fowler nose plaster?

Half time and 50% of the Charlton fans disappeared to the concourse whilst the remaining 6 stayed in their seats.

It was a kind on nondescript start to the second half with an airing of Sloop John B.... Bradley Wright-Phillips, he’s always offside. Great stuff but all was well with the world just before the hour mark as Hammond fired in a shot which was pushed wide by the Pink member to Guly who weighed up the options before pulling back for Barnard to tap in at the back post for 2-0. The Northam started chanting “The Saints are going up” which is a chant I will save until it is mathematically certain.

The sound of chickens being counted was silenced when Lallana went down in a heap and after a minute was helped off and replaced by Oscar the Ninja so we replaced a tricky skilful, beautifully balanced player with Bambi on Ice and his Amazing Uncoordinated Legs.

I was mildly narked with my fellow Saints fans a minute later when BWP was substituted. There were Saints fans actually applauding him off and not ironically with hand gestures. Hang on, he was useless for us for 3 years, got paid a fortune, he hardly seemed to try and he couldn’t hit a cows arse with a banjo, or a guitar, or a double bass, or the whole orchestra. One of the major positives of administration was getting rid of this waste of space and now I shall cease my rant.

He had gone and he hadn’t scored. Charlton persisted with their tactic of the ball over the top which had a few issues with the fine detail. 1) Radhi and Jose don’t miss much and 2) if you clear them it will run through to the keeper. Desperately poor. Saints for their part were quite content to run down the game but still looked a threat going forward with Barnard forcing the Penis into a save when fed by the Gulyman who wasn’t doing much but what he did was very effective.

And lo, from the substitutes bench appeared a vision, a mirage, a trick of the light. Yes, David Connolly was about to set foot on a football pitch in place of The Gulyman and so we ended the game with three out and out forwards on the pitch which was kind of strange. I guess that Johnno Pace is being held back for games that are tougher than this one. Not a lot happened in the last ten, save for Connolly showing that he has better off the ball movement then all the rest of the forwards and Ryan Dickson tidying up a rare Charlton break.

It was a victory that was as routine as they come as Charlton were poor in the first half and then they got worse. Some of that was down to Saints not letting them settle at all and strong defensive play from the whole back 4 and Hammond which didn’t allow them to create anything much. A lot of it was down to the fact that Charlton were rubbish and have nothing to play for this season. That said, I think Charlton had one of the best players on the pitch in Miguel Llera who always seemed to be in the way. Charlton’s fans couldn’t even be arsed to boo Frazer Richardson who left them for us and annoyed them in doing so. Very odd.

Nigel’s post match interview brought the news that Lallana was taken off as a precaution and that he should be fine which if true, is what we want to hear as the team has a distinct lack of creativity when he is missing. Also, it was noticeable today that every time he got the ball, Charlton had 3 players round him so he opens up lots of space for others which partially explains why Dickson had such a good game. Dale Stephens injury seemed to be much worse as the stretcher was involved but nothing confirmed as yet. There was no talk of buses and no one was in or out of the building but listen, it was about winning a game of football, simple as that.

We now have a relatively long break of 3 days before a trip to Leyton Orient who are making a late attempt to nick Bournemouth’s playoff spot. Following that we have a midweek trip to Rochdale who are also just outside the playoff places so Saints are going to be the average Bournemouth fans 2nd favourite team for the next two matches. No, they hate us, honestly.

We are now two points behind 2nd placed Huddersfield with two games in hand and all looks good. Another interesting game this weekend is Huddersfield vs Peterborough – a draw would be nice. 8 games to go, 20 points needed.

League 1 Match 36 - Charlton 1 Southampton 1

Well you can tell by the way I use my walk...

No sooner had Peterborough lost to the Fake Dons, then Saints were on the road again playing Charlton away. A win would take us into 2nd place, still with games in hand but a draw wouldn’t be a disaster either. Charlton were doing ok at the start of the season under Phil Parkinson and were in just below the playoff places when they sacked him. Chris Powell, who played for England a few times (no I can’t believe it either) came in and had a decent initial impact before presiding over 7 defeats out of 8. In their ranks, Charlton have ex-Saints Christian Dailly who I liked and Bradley Wright-Phillips who is top of the list entitled “Saints players I’ve actually hated” – a bit of ability sure but no brain, no heart and that feeling of knowing he’d miss when he was clean through against the keeper. Like I say, he’s top of the list ahead of such luminaries as Jermain Wright, Lee Todd, David Speedie and Kerry Dixon.

Nigel had gone continuity crazy and we had the same starting XI and the same subs as we had against Sheffield Wednesday.

The first half, as is the case with most of Saints matches, was pretty lame with Charlton not showing much at all and Saints only threatening through set plays. The closest we got was in the 20th minute when from a Harding free kick, Sir Rickie headed down for Fonte to stab goalwards where it was comfortably cleared off the line. Sir Rickie had a free kick on the half hour and went for placement instead of lashing it and Elliot in the Charlton goal clawed it away.

On 35 minutes there was a worrying development as Lallana pulled up and it was immediately obvious that he couldn’t carry on and was replaced with Dany N’Guessan. As soon as he went off, Merrington and his fellow goon on Solent went into Jason Puncheon overdrive. Should we recall him?, can we recall him?, what will his attitude be like?, do we want to recall him?, answers on a fucking postcard. Bottom line is that however well Puncheon has played for other clubs, whenever he’s played for us this season he’s been complete shit and whatever the reason for that is, it’s reason enough to forget about him for now. Half time, 0-0, dull.

The first notable action of the second half involved Bollocks Wright-Phillips. When caught offside, a sensation he must be used to by now, he decided to kick the ball away and got booked. Nice one, timewasting with 43 minutes to go. The game opened out a bit without either team looking like scoring but the hour mark brought more injury disaster as Chamberlain went over and turned his ankle in the process. Like the Lallana injury, it was immediately obvious that he wasn’t going to be able to run it off either and so on came the Gulyman as Chambo was helped away.

With Lallana and Chamberlain off the pitch, the responsibility for set pieces turned to the Brazilian maestro and from his first corner, he delivered a good ball into the mixer to where Radhi Jaidi lost his marker with a deftness of movement which was almost balletic and smashed it in the net on the half volley. The celebrations are always great when the goal comes from an unexpected source and Radhi’s Travolta pose before disappearing under a pile of bodies was pretty special as they go.

Saints briefly threatened to take charge and go relatively close-ish to a second as after a long run, N’Guessan fired over a cross to the back post which Barnard hooked back, only for the keeper to palm it away from the onrushing Chaplow. We then got the shits and had a bit of a lucky break when a shot by Llera from the edge of the box, hit the bar and crashed down on the line and away. The Charlton players appealed for the goal but it was never over the line which didn’t stop 3000 Saints fans in the ground from shitting themselves.

Having got away with that one, our Nigel replaced Barnard with Johnno Pace in a move that on the face of it, didn’t help either the attacking or defending aspect of the team but for a second, Saints begin to look to be relatively comfortably heading for a 1-0 win. Pace is not an attribute that Christian Dailly has in abundance and he almost headed past his own keeper in panic when trying to stop Johnno reaching the ball first.

So, we’re looking good and heading for 2nd place and then Charlton bloody equalize and didn’t you just know who was going to score it. In many ways it’s typical BWP as a move builds up on the edge of our box and someone shapes to chip it over the centre backs. As he goes to play the ball, the defence moves up and BWP is being his usual dozy bastard self and just standing there like an offside waiting to happen. Unfortunately, Butterfield hasn’t pushed up and so he’s onside but fair play, he finished it well.

In the five minutes of normal time that remain, Saints have the stick or twist conundrum to contend with but we go for it and Sir Rickie puts a wonderful reverse ball in between the left back and centre back which Dany N’Guessan fastens onto and slots past the keeper into the far side of the net. Offside, bollocks was it, not even close but the flag is up and it doesn’t count. So we had the Bournemouth one a few weeks back where it was flagged offside but given against us and now we have a perfectly good goal chalked off.

Final whistle and 1-1 and how do we all feel about that one. The bottom line is that this is a difficult fixture and we got a point but we could and should have had all 3. By all accounts Charlton played much better than they have in recent weeks and a draw was a fair result. You can stick ‘fair’ where the sun don’t shine though – we scored a perfectly good goal in the 90th minute and it was disallowed due to a trigger happy linesman, a fact since acknowledged by the managers of both teams.

It’s a bummer that we were 5 minutes from time when Charlton equalized and it’s even more a bummer that that little fucker scored. For three years I paid to watch that twat be fucking useless week in and week out. We didn’t kill the game off in the last 10 minutes like we should have done and I think that in an ideal world, Nigel would have brought on Schneiderlin or even Gobern to flood the midfield. As it was, it was the straight swap of Forte for Barnard. Maybe a bit of imagination was called for to bring Seaborne on and tell him to play in front of the centre backs or maybe it would have been better having Dickson on the bench to come on in midfield.

It would have been too easy for Saints to win this game at get into 2nd place – as you know, we don’t do things the easy way. Next up is the Fake Dons at SMS on Saturday week which will be a severe test given the form of the Fakes. The Plymouth postponement is looking farcical at the moment as all 3 of their ‘internationals’ are injured and unlikely to play for their countries on Saturday. It may backfire on Argyle as the chances are that neither Lallana or Chamberlain would be fit for this Saturday but I’m sure that they will be, come the start of May.

Next week we have the end of the emergency loan period but until then, expect us to be linked with wingers, midfielders and even Jason Puncheon.

League 1 Match 40 - Southampton 1 Charlton 0

Why is that offside ? Quack !!!

If we’d played Charlton a month ago then I would have been very confident of a win as they had fallen away big time and looked to have settled for a playoff place. However, a combination of them picking up and Leeds being shit means they are now back in contention for the 2nd automatic spot. Last week, Saints weren’t very convincing in beating Leyton Orient so I was a bit worried about this one. We’ve played them twice already this season of course, a 1-1 draw at The Valley in the League and the 2-1 hammering we dished out to them in the JPT. There is also the ‘Pards’ factor to consider as he’s as popular with their fans as Harry Redknapp is with ours. Needless to say – ‘we have to win’. There, I said it anyway.

To the teams and Pards has pulled out a funny one and names what looks like a 4-5-1 with Lee Barnard being the fall guy and being left out for Michail Antonio. I’m guessing that one of Antonio, Lallana or Puncheon will be pushed forwards to support Sir Rickie but you never can tell. The defence saw a change with Jaidi not recovering from his injury picked up last Monday. His replacement was predictably, the unpredictable Danny Seaborne.

The match had a very even start with both teams taking turns to test out the oppositions defence. The first real chance fell to Charlton and their skipper, Nicky Bailey. Bailey scored a blinding goal for Charlton at SMS last season when he weaved down the left wing and cut in before scoring the winner. Good player and when Pards arrived in the summer, I hoped he’d go back to Charlton and sign him up for the Saints revolution. Not so however and here he is playing for Charlton at SMS, flashing in a decent header which Superkelv parried away.

Jason Puncheon has been pushed up front for us and is struggling to get on the ball initially but eventually he gets on it, dribbles a bit and lashes over the bar. Former Saints loanee, Christian Dailly at centre back for Charlton, then expends a lot of effort trying to get one of his midfielders to drop in to mark Punch but none of them seem to be too bothered. The supply line continues however as first Punch tees up Schneiderlin to volley wide (again) and then shoots himself (not like Kurt Cobain) and forces keeper Randolph into a sprawling save at the post.

Usually I only talk about the Chuckle Brothers behind me at half time but on 25 minutes there is a break in play following an offside decision where, as they do these days, the linesman didn’t flag until the player in question made a move towards the ball. ‘Why’s he offside?... ‘Why didn’t he flag earlier?’… ‘He don’t know what he’s doing does he’…6’ Here’s my impression of a duck as I make a farting noise down my rolled up programme’…. The bloke next to me turned round and tried to give a concise history of the offside law, explaining ‘active’ and ‘passive’ and ‘1st phase’, ‘2nd phase’ etc. It was a bit like my French teachers trying to get me to understand at school. Upon seeing me pissing myself laughing – the bloke next to me said ‘that was wasted on them wasn’t it’.

Back to the game and a quick break by Saints sees Sir Rickie flick the ball on to Puncheon who controls and rolls a short ball to Michail Antonio who takes it past a defender on the burst and smashes it in from about 15 yards. 1-0, get in you beauty and a reprise of the JPT Wembley dance.

When Charlton’s next attack broke down we were presented with the very unusual sight of Saints with the ball on the half way line with a four on one break. The ball was with Antonio and just one decent pass would have put Sir Rickie, Punch and Adam Lallana through on goal… and he butchered it completely, picking out the one covering defender. There was still time for two incidents before half time as Bailey again thumped a header goalwards which Superkelv turned over the bar and then Dean Hammond got booked for a tackle that was so late, it was after the half time whistle had sounded and the players were tucking into their segments of orange. If professional footballers don’t have a segment of orange at half-time, like all us park players do (or did)… then they should.

Saints started the second half in brisk fashion and Charlton were asleep as Punch took a short corner to Schneiderlin who stood up a cross for Sir Ricke to header goalwards and it to be cleared off the line by two defenders. Bugger, we could have done with that. Part 3 of the Bailey v Superkelv saga was just around the corner as the little ginger fella smashed a snapshot goalwards and again, was denied by the Saints keeper.

The one man defensive unit that is Jose Fonte was showing up well again. Charlton had Nick Forster up front who played (and scored for Brighton against us at SMS earlier in the season. He didn’t play against Fonte though and today he is really in Jose’s pocket and not getting a sniff. He’s getting irate though and having a good old moan up at the ref as he gets beaten to the ball for about the 25th time. Not content with being the entire back 4, Jose decides to be the keeper as well as in the same attack he clearly blocks two shots with his hand. You can assume in this league that the obvious will not be given and so the appeals were waved away. The ball then broke for Hammond who shoved it past a defender with his arm and again, nothing given.

Perhaps sensing that Forster was getting wound up, Charlton replaced him with a big lanky streak of piss and started to hump it forward which they really didn’t need to do as they were creating enough chances keeping it on the deck. Sir Rickie was more like his old self today, bullying defenders but when you are knocking over someone as old as Christian Dailly, you have to wonder if the Police will be called. Led by the main man, the chances come and go as Punch shoots left footed and it’s deflected just out of the reach of the flying Antonio who is then substituted with Barnard coming on. I felt that he was a bit unlucky to be the one coming off as he’s certainly had more of an impact on the game than Lallana who was very quiet today.

There then followed three more worthwhile efforts from Saints as Lambert curled just wide from the inside left channel, Barnard’s turn and volley lacked power and then Sir Rickie hit the angle of post and bar from a free kick which Randolph left. I think it ended up being a lot closer than he realised so he probably soiled his pants when it clipped the woodwork.

Jonjo Shelvey come on for the last 10 minutes and immediately proved why he should have been on from the start and Paul Wotton came on for Sir Rickie and immediately proved that he shouldn’t. Saints defended a bit too deep for the last five minutes but aside from one important tackle from Otsemobor, were relatively untroubled – even by the obligatory corners at the end with the Charlton keeper running around in our box like a big orange pillock.

Full time, 1-0, Hurrah!

So, Pards beats Charlton again who were to be fair, were a decent side and if we’d gone behind in this match I feel that we would have severely struggled to get the win we needed. They did however run out of steam in the last half hour and I personally felt we were always more likely to get a second goal than them to equalize. As I said earlier, they started hoofing the ball forwards which played straight in the hands of Fonte and Seaborne. I have a bit of problem with Seaborne in that I don’t think he’s good enough and he gives me the shits. If the ball is in the air to be attacked and it’s in front of him then he’s ok and he wins his share – but get around him and he doesn’t seem to have a clue and ball watches. OK – he’s no Ollie Lancashire and thankfully, not many are but the bottom line is – with Jaidi injured, I’d rather see Chris Perry in the side any day of the week.

As the last of the players left the field, it was time for the announcement of the other League 1 scores. Up until today I had not even really listened to them at any game because I didn’t care what anyone else did. Today it’s interesting because it’s now all opening up before us. We need other teams to be losing and also today, we needed West Ham to be winning as it would confirm relegation for the Skates.

Brentford 3 Huddersfield (currently in 6th) 0 – big cheer, happy days
Colchester (currently 7th) 3 Swindon 0 – boooooooooo – fucking Swindon – do us twice and then lose to Hoofroyd and his clowns.
Norwich 1 MK Dons (one place below us) 1 – happy enough with that, Fake Dons were winning with 2 minutes to go. Karl Robinson quotes should be interesting this week.
Oldham 2 Bristol Rovers (currently 8th) 1 – excellent
West Ham 1 Sunderland 0 – ‘Pompey going down with no money in the bank etc’

OK – The Skates are relegated – so what, they were always going to be, right from the start of the season. Now it’s time to have a look at the playoff picture. As of right now, with 6 games left, we are 8 points behind Colchester and Huddersfield with a better goal difference and a game in hand. Our next two games are both away from home on shitty grounds… Bristol Rovers at Twerton Park and and Yeovil at Huish Park. Of course, as you know, we have made a right balls of these sort of games recently. If I was a betting man I’d still be betting on us just missing the playoffs but I tell you what – win these two and I’ll start to believe.

JPT Final Preview

So… all the league fixtures are done for now and the next game is the Johnstone Paints Trophy Final at Wembley Stadium v Carlisle United.

It’s worth having a little recap here of our progress in the competition so far. To see blog entries - click this link http://leagueoneminus10.blogspot.com/search/label/JPT

We got a bye in the first round and in the 2nd, got a home draw against Torquay and we were quickly 2-0 down. I think that at this point, if they didn’t already, most fans saw this cup as an irrelevance and we didn’t care, it was beneath us, it was a waste of time, stupid little tin pot trophy etc etc. Two close range goals from Papa Waigo and Paul Wotton hitting home the winning penalty in the shoot-out... and we were happy enough.

The 3rd round brought us Charlton at home and the motivation for this game was there due to the quality of the opposition, the game being live on Sky and Pards being their much-hated ex-manager. We thrashed them 2-1 with goals from Wayne Thomas and Sir Rickie. We were totally dominant in the game with Charlton spawning a last minute consolation. Now we were all taking it quite seriously.

The Southern Regional Semi-Final brought another home draw, this time against Norwich City – more decent opposition and once again, despite a goal from Papa Waigo, we were losing 2-1 with a minute to go. Following a forearm smash by Michail Antonio on deserving recipient Grant Holt, once again, that man Papa Waigo popped up to force a penalty shootout which we won with James and Antonio’s misses cancelled out by three excellent saves by the Bart Man and so it fell to Wayne Thomas of all people, to stroke home the winning penalty. Now we were taking it very seriously indeed.

The Regional Final was against the Fake Dons and we won the away leg 1-0 with a goal from Michail Antonio and really should have won by more. We over-celebrated in full view of renowned cretin Karl Robinson. In between the first and second legs, we pulled a neat trick out of the bag and signed their best player in Jason Puncheon and even though he was cup tied and couldn’t play for us, we won the 2nd leg 3-1 at a bit of a canter with goals from Lambert, Lallana and a funny own goal. We’re going to Wem-ber-ley.

The ticket allocations were announced and we were given 44,000 which at the time, I thought we’d be hard pressed to sell. Despite a ticket office phone meltdown, I got mine on Day 1, only to find the best seats had sold out. Within a couple of weeks we had shifted 40,000 and rumours were that there would be no general sale which is astounding really but astounding in a good way. The ‘sold out’ signs went up and then the rumblings began about trying to possibly getting more tickets, especially when it emerged that Carlisle were only bringing 20,000 and there would be approximately 20,000 empty seats. Don Nicola Cortese weighed in and revealed that he had offered to pay for extra stewards and also had explained to the FA, how to allocate us extra seats and avoid segregation issues (the poor reason that we’d been given for no extra tickets). It seems though that the FA would rather save face than have an extra 15,000 fans paying approximately £30 a ticket. That’s nearly half a million quid which is more ammunition for the ‘FA is a joke’ brigade. I hope someone is sacked over that as it’s not as if they couldn’t do with the money as the Wembley pitch has just had to yet again, be relaid at great expense. The cost of the new pitch would easily have been covered by the income from the extra tickets they could have let us sell. Idiots.

Going back to the pitch for a second… there has been a load of negative publicity over the state of the Wembley pitch and talk as to whether it’s been a factor in players getting injured etc. Maybe they relaid it because of that but they probably did it because the Saints are in town. The JPT Final will be the first match played on it and after that it’ll probably be a couple of Rugby League matches and a Take That gig before they have to bring in another new pitch. Maybe it’s the Take That gig that rots the pitch with all the women in the audience wetting themselves.

And here we are…. Four days to go and we have an injury crisis. In League 1, we are usually or occasionally fielding 4 players who are cup tied for the JPT in Lee Barnard, Jason Puncheon, Dan Seaborne and Jon Otsemobor. None of those can play and in addition, Wayne Thomas and Graeme Murty are definitely out and there are question marks over Adam Lallana, Radhi Jaidi, Morgan Schneiderlin, David Connolly and Lloyd James.

I’m going to try and predict the team. Warning – I’m usually useless at this.

Goalkeeper : Kelvin Davis, enough said. Bart on the bench.
Right Back: Dan Harding has played here for the last two league games so I expect him to start the final here unless Wayne Thomas miraculously recovers or Pards wants to play both Harding and Mills down the left. Of course there is also the option of pulling out a strange one and playing Paul Wotton (very slow) or Simon Gillett (very short) here. Of these two I’d play Wotton I guess though the prospect of him lighting up Wembley with one of his special tackles when the ball has long since gone is one that makes me shudder. In addition there is the horrible prospect of Lloyd James playing here. Please No.
Left Back: Joseph Mills unless he gets pushed into midfield with Harding behind him.
Centre Backs: Jose Fonte and Radhi Jaidi though Chris Perry will play if Jaidi fails to make it. I hope that Perry gets on the pitch at some point as he’s been a good player for us and this will be his last season with the club.
Right midfield: Adam Lallana or maybe Papa Waigo if Adam plays on the left and we’re not bothered about the right winger tracking back Michail Antonio would be starting here if he was fit and it must be devastating for him to miss out.
Left midfield: I think (and I worry) that Lee Holmes will get the nod here despite not being in the League 1 squad for about a month. He came into the squad after Christmas and surprisingly, started a few games and has disappeared as quickly as he arrived despite not doing too badly. There is always the possibility though, that he is injured. Other possibilities are to play Lallana here with Waigo on the right or to play Joseph Mills with Harding at left back.
Centre Midfielders: Dean Hammond and Morgan Schneiderlin though expect Paul Wotton or maybe Simon Gillett to play here if Schneiderlin misses out. I would slightly favour Gillett out of the two as keeping the ball is not really a Wotton strength.
Strikers: Rickie Lambert and Papa Waigo N’Diaye with David Connolly fit only for the bench. It’s a big pitch so expect Papa to be offside by even further than usual but also expect Connolly to be given 20-25 minutes at the end.

There is always a ‘fairytale’ story around team selection for Cup Finals. Remember at Cardiff 2003 when Chris Baird came from nowhere to start the final. This years Chris Baird could be either Simon Gillett or Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain though I do think that both of these will end up on the bench.

I have watched Saints at Wembley three times: Charity Shield in 1976, League Cup Final in 1979, ZDS Cup Final in 1992. Lost, lost and lost again. I, of course, also went to Cardiff in 2003 where we lost again. So, yes I want to enjoy the day and yes I know it’s not the most important cup competition in the world but on Sunday it’s one that I desperately want us to win. In 2003, the feeling I came away with was of a great day and the fact that we lost was almost secondary after a while. There is no question that we should win this one and there will be no consolation for the 44,000 travelling Saints and the 15,000 unable to get a ticket, if we don’t.

Come on you Reds. (not Yellows this time)

Johnstone Paints Trophy 3rd Round - Southampton 2 Charlton 1

Now, do I lie about it meaning more to beat Charlton or not...

JPT time again and it’s Charlton at home for us. The Charlton fans will be looking forward to it as it’s against the manager who they see as the anti-Christ and us Saints fans will be looking forward to hopefully keeping the winning run going. In the last round, Saints got a gate that was bigger than all the other games put together but no chance of that tonight as Sky, in their wisdom, have decided to put this on the TV. In this case, I’ll forgive them as I at least will have a chance to watch it in my Dublin local. I can’t see there being a problem getting a seat in front of the TV for this one.

Watching Saints in the pub over here is usually a painful experience as we usually lose and people walk past, wondering why you’re getting so animated at a game that doesn’t involve the big 4. The first Saints match I watched over here was the playoff defeat to Derby. At the start of the game it was just me and Kelvin immediately flapped a goal in. My short outburst of swearing brought a few raised eyebrows. By the time Do Do Do Johnny Viafara had put us 2-1 up I had made so much noise that I had a small gathering with me. Leon Best’s ridiculous own goal (still don’t know how he did that, the tosser), Rasiak putting us in front again and the penalty shoot out starting meant I now had a crowd and by the time Idiakez sent his penalty into orbit, I had a lot of sympathy, a big bar bill and the beginnings of a headache which ultimately would last for two days.

The team selection tonight would tell us a lot about how seriously Pards was taking it. In the last round he rested a few but we were playing a League 2 side so it was understandable. Tonight we’re playing against a strong side and we don’t play again until Sunday so I’m hoping for everyone being present and correct…. and I was happy. Be it because Pards really wants to with the JPT or be it because he wants to stick one finger up to Charlton, we had the same 10 outfield players as Saturday with Bart in goal instead of the rested Kelvin. The only minor surprise is that Wayne Thomas kept his place ahead of Trotman who Preston had kindly made available for this one.

Saints steamed into Charlton from the off and really should have had the lead in two minutes as Charlton keeper Ikeme came for a cross and got no where near it leaving Captain Hammond with a free header at the back post with half a goal to aim at….which he totally made a mess of. Charlton awoke from their slumbers and did nothing as Antonio scared the hell out of them down the right and smashed in a shot which Ikeme beat away. Chances followed for Lambert and Connolly and then there was a tricky moment as Charlton got in our half and Bart had to pick up a half hit scuffer from Wagstaff.

On 35 minutes Saints finally took the lead as a James corner was missed by all the usual suspects and smashed into the net by Wayne Thomas for his first goal since a jumpers for goalposts match on the village green in 1985. The near 14,000 crowd (wow!) crowd at St Mary’s and one man in a pub in Dublin expected more and two minutes later, Connolly cut in from the right and curled a lovely left footed shot a foot wide of the far post.

We have got to try and sign Michail Antonio. All wingers are frustrating at times when the delivery is a bit wayward but this lad makes things happen and he commits defenders. He’s not frightened to shoot either and he forced another good save from Ikeme before half time when he cut in off the wing and smashed in a shot which t some part of the keepers anatomy and deflected onto the near post. Charlton meanwhile, were terrible.

Half time, Southampton 1 Ikeme 0. Pint of Guinness please.

Saints were forced into a change at half time with Schneiderlin being replaced by Trotman. Whilst it would have been amusing watching Trotters slot into central midfield and spraying passes about in that cultured way of his, I was thankful that we reshuffled with James going into midfield and ‘goalscoring centre back’ Wayne Thomas being moved to right back.

No doubt with the angry words of Phil Parkinson ringing in their ears, Charlton kicked off the second half and attacked a bit. They put me in mind of the Saints side of last year under the watchful eye of Jan the Complete Moron – one lad up front who is totally unsuited to playing up front on his own and much more suitable players on the bench. Still, the lone striker ‘wash trying very hard to make a goal for the boysh’.

On the hour mark, Papa Waigo came on for the clearly tiring Connolly who has played more football in the past week than in the previous two years. The dancing man was immediately involved, cutting in from the left wing and curling a shot for the far corner that was tipped away well by that bloody goalkeeper again. Unperturbed, following a neat passing move involving Waigo and Lallana, Lambert tried exactly the same effort only this time, Ikeme developed chocolate wrists and couldn’t keep it out. 64 minutes, 2-0 and really… game over.

The last half an hour was pretty tame but I thought there might be some stick for Deon Burton when he came on, being an ex-Skate and all that. There was none however and I think this was because no one recognized him as the last time he was here (playing for Brentford I think), he had a huge afro that was conspicuously absent. Highlight of this period of the game for me was Lloyd James executing a real cruncher of a tackle on Jonjo Shelvey who deserves all he gets, simply for being called Jonjo.

92 minutes were up and Saints were sitting back trying to play out the game when the usual happened. Following a great save from Bart, the ball was returned and Leon McKenzie fired home from 6 yards to make it 2-1. I never had one single moment when I thought Charlton would score again and in fact, they didn’t get in our half again aside from the one desperate boot forward as the final whistle went.

Positives are that we won and we’re now in the Southern Area Semi Finals against one of Hereford, Norwich and the Fake Dons. It’s a one legged affair still so I’m hoping for anyone at home, preferably Hereford. Bart did what he had to do pretty well and had no chance for the goal and the team as a whole looks very confident and capable of scoring all the time. Unbelievably, Charlton are one of the better League 1 sides so it’s a good win… on this showing though, we are light years ahead of them and the league positions will be crossing come the season end. Negatives were that we sat too deep in the last 20 minutes and really should have been 4 or 5 up by the time Charlton got their goal. Mind you, Ikeme made some brilliant saves but as is his lot when you’re a keeper, will be remembered for the balls he made of the 2nd goal.

Yes, I was the only person watching it in the pub.

Next up…. Brighton at home on Sunday.

League 1 Match 7 - Charlton 1 Southampton 1

"Oi Charlton, look over there and you'll see your 100% record disappearing"

Charlton have had a similar descent down the leagues as Saints have. A season after Saints did it, they got relegated out of the Premier League by exactly mirroring the mistakes that Saints had made. This makes us pioneers and them just stupid. Anyhow, both clubs had established and very good managers – we had Gordon Strachan and they had Alan Curbishley. Curbs had been there for years and by our standards, Strachan should have been given a gold watch for racking up nearly two and a half years at the helm.

We replaced Strachan with Paul Sturrock and they replaced Curbs with Iain Dowie, two managers who were seen as up and coming with something to prove who had done well at other clubs. They were also two managers who had hit every branch of the Ugly tree on the way down. We sacked Sturrock two games into a season and they fired Dowie after 12.

Saints surpassed themselves with the next appointment by putting Steve Wigley in charge, a man who didn’t want the job and was excruciatingly out of his depth…. nice guy, well respected, not fit for purpose. The phrase ‘as much use as a chocolate teapot’ was invented for him. Charlton’s Chocolate Teapot was Les Read who was similar in being a nobody and being useless.

To attempt the rescue the mistakes, we turned to dear old ‘Arry and they turned to Alan Pardew – both clubs taking what looked like safe bets and in both cases, getting relegated at the end of the season and plunging themselves into the downward spiral which has ended in League 1. Three managers in a season doesn’t work. You will get relegated… I think Pompey should try it.

Another relegation for both clubs later and here we are in League 1 and there the similarities end. Charlton avoided going into administration and have won 6 games out of 6 – Saints on the other hand…. you know the rest…. 24 points behind. So, a trip to The Valley was a pretty daunting prospect.

Waigo and Jaidi had been granted work permits and were on the bench with Joseph Mills and Schneiderlin getting starts for marginally impressing in the bag of crap last week. Saganowski returned from not playing and watching his Polish mates get all but knocked out of the World Cup and took his place on the bench.

As usual, I was out doing a tour of shops and parks, trying to amuse 3 kids and keep tabs on the game. My wife was having a Saturday on the red wine so I was going to find it a bit difficult today. The lack of text messages being received was seem by me as a good thing. I had a feeling it was going to be tight as we have a decent defence now but at the end of the day, it’s top versus bottom so you’re expecting to get beat. Oh for that optimism you had as a kid where you were sure you were going to win every match. Man Utd away, no bother, we are the Saints, by far the greatest team the world has ever seen. Ha Ha. Kids must be more cynical these days as my five year old now asks me ‘Are Saints losing yet?’ whenever he sees me check out my phone…. One day soon my son, all this Saturday misery will be yours.

We happened to be in the car at 3.45 and I’ve got two messages – I know one will be the half time score and I assume the other will detail that we’ve gone 1-0 down in the 45th minute but with a loud ‘get in there’ we are 1-0 up through Adam Lallana. The radio is saying that Saints are the better side and should be winning by more which is good by at the same time annoying as we all know what happens when you don’t take your chances. Five minutes into the 2nd half and it’s 1-1 as Deon Burton has taken advantage of a Kelvin flap. I manage to keep the radio on for the rest of the 2nd half and it’s a nightmare. What is about listening to the radio? Every time the opponents get into your half you imagine the ball is pinging around your six yard box and you also know you are under the cosh as none of your players aside from defenders are being mentioned. Jaidi and Waigo make their debuts as subs and we come away with a draw. A very creditable result.

It was a difficult day for Alan Pardew who of course, is not popular at Charlton. If he was under any illusions (I don’t think he was) then he isn’t now. He got dogs abuse for 90 minutes by all accounts so it must have been nice for him for Saints to break their 100% record. I can imagine that if we’d won he’d have been tempted to do an Adebayor and do a 90 yard sprint to celebrate in front of the baying mob. A bit of a shame that he didn’t get the opportunity but I’m sure he’s happy enough with a point.

I have a quick check of the message boards after the game and I’m amazed that for every fan happy with the point, there is one who is not happy in the slightest. Just staggering… get a grip you miserable sods. We ARE getting there…. Slowly

-5

As a footnote… who do you reckon are going to get to 1 point first, Saints or Pompey ?. We have -5, they have 0, our next two matches are glamour fixtures against Yeovil and Carlisle, theirs are against Everton and Villa.