Premier League Match 23 - Southampton 1 Newcastle 3

 

Well It Started Well

The game that Newcastle fans have been waiting for since the opening day this season, has now arrived. So incensed they were at winning with 10 men against us, that this game has been looming like some sort of obsession for them. It’s all a bit weird.   The incident that got them all revved up was of course Ben Brereton Diaz taking a dive when Fabian Schär stuck is nut in.   They don’t seem to be remotely interested in the cause / effect side of things.  Schär caused it by sticking is nut and Brereton Diaz produced the effect of throwing himself to the ground and rolling around like a little bitch.  I don’t think there’s a Saints fan out there who doesn’t think that our guy was embarrassing that day, but there were plenty of Newcastle fans who don’t think their guy did anything wrong, which is completely mental.  A recurring theme of the last few weeks has been mental gymnastics. The mental gymnastics that people do to try and arrive at different decisions when VAR is involved and in the way they defend the indefensible and this is a similar example.  You would think it would’ve been diffused by either the fact they won the game, the passage of time since then, the fact we are bottom of the league and going down, or even that fact the player in question has been loaned out by us to Sheffield United, but no, the Geordies are still fuming about it. Fucking weird.

They’ve been having such a tough time with it recently as well.  Nine wins in a row, which was only brought to a halt last week with a surprisingly heavy defeat at home by Eddie Howe’s former club, our friends from down the road in Bournemouth.  We got used to hearing from Eddie Howe all the time of course when he was the Bournemouth manager, and on Radio Solent all the time.  He was a moaning old bastard even then.  He must be under pressure to deliver this season at Newcastle and they have a pretty good chance of getting a Champions League spot given the flaky nature of the top of the Premier League.  It could well be very important that they do that because you can’t imagine that players like Alexander Isak, Bruno Guimaraes and even Anthony Gordon will be happy not playing Champions League football.

Having been beaten by Bournemouth last week, this is a course the ideal game for them to start another run with.  Saints have so far proven themselves to be completely incapable of stringing together 90 minute performances, so that will be the aim today and the Newcastle will be hoping to put another nail in our already nailed shut relegation coffin.

Ivan Juric was the bearer of bad news that his press conference when it emerged that came in Sulemana will not be fit for this game, nor of course will Tyler Dibling and our new signing, Albert Gronbaek be an option for next week but not for today.  The major news of the week of course was Gronbaek signing from Rennes in France.  He’s only been there since the start of the season but hasn’t settled and we will be hoping he brings his Norwegian League form to the Premier League. That’s a lot to ask for but we will be hoping that as a full Danish international, he will be able to bring something to the party. It sounds like he plays the same sort of position as Matty Fernandes, but whatever he is, he puts some of our lesser players further down the pecking order.  

Today, Saints have to front up physically against the gigantic units that are Newcastle and if we decide to have fifteen minutes where we collectively stop running, then this is going to be ugly.  Fifteen minutes until kick-off and I’m watching the warm-ups from the Chapel End. With the reconfiguration of the ground, I now have the opposition players warming up in front of me and some things immediately stand out. There’s the physical size of players like Burn and Joelinton, there’s also the speed and touch on display in their warmup rondos. Then we get to the shooting drill and every player is accurate and the ball is zipping into the top corners with the goalkeepers not given a chance. A quick glance at the other end sees a lot of shots closer to the moon than the goal. It’s about levels and standards.

The opening 10 minutes are all Newcastle, but we hold them at bay comfortably enough and eventually get a bit of possession in their half with Fernandes spreading the ball out to Jimmy Champo. His ball down the line finds KWP who turns back and sets it up for Champo to cross it into the box first time and Bednarek has ambled into the box and has not been picked up and rises to thump a header past Dubravka. Fuck me, we are 1-0 up.

I Wonder if VAR Noticed the Shirt Pull?

We take a bit of confidence from that, and Adam Armstrong gets the ball out onto the left before firing a hopeful effort straight at Dubravka. Newcastle start playing now and Fernandes gets booked for chopping down Livramento in full flight. The ball gets played into the box and headed clear to Bruno on the edge of the box and his cute reverse ball sends Isak through and he goes over in a heap with Aribo in attendance.  The ref gives a corner but he’s got the dreaded voice in his ear.

Errrr Sammy-boy, Stockley Park here

Yes, what?

What are you doing mate?

Corner – untidy challenge

Yeah, I know that’s what you’ve given but we’re looking for something… hang on

[Scotty hangs on for three minutes]…. Is it clearly and obviously a wrong decision?

Now, now Scotty, we don’t do fucking ‘clear and obvious’ any more

What do we do then?

We do ‘high bar’

What does that mean?

No one knows what it fucking means mate and one man’s high bar in another man’s low bar, that’s the point mate, it makes us unaccountable

So what you’re saying is that you’re going to tell me I’m wrong, and overrule me and all that ‘onfield decision carries weight’ stuff is bollocks, when you feel like it….

Fucking right… however, we’ll send you to the screen first to use up more time

Cheers lads
 
To the surprise of no one, it’s a penalty and it’s Isak who is on it and he isn’t going to fucking miss is he….. No, he isn’t and he calmly rolls it into the opposite corner to where McCarthy has gone. Shit.

Five minutes later and Tall Paul is pushed off the ball by Burn and the ball breaks to Murphy on the right hand side and the player who famously waived Caleta-Car off in the League cup semi-final a couple years ago, waltzes past Aribo and then slides the ball through to Isak who takes a ridiculous first touch before passing it into the corner of the net. Absolutely quality goal and there’s nothing you can do about that without spending Saudi levels of cash on a striker.

The game now has a chance of getting grim as Gordon picks out Joelinton in the box and he turns and smashes a shot off the post.  It was actually a really good save by McCarthy and it wouldn’t have counted anyway because Joelinton was offside.  Isak then picks up the ball in the inside left channel, before going for his hat-trick with a cross shot which McCarthy saves with his foot.

Samuel Barrott the referee has given us absolutely fuck all so far and there’s another one as Big Les breathes on Joelinton, which throws him off balance so much that he lunges in studs up on Tall Paul’s ankle. Nothing given and no review so that’s a Newcastle free kick. It seems that you can commit murder after the whistle has gone and get away with it.

Half time and it’s been ok.  Yes, we’re behind but at least we’re competing.  A couple of players are struggling with Manning unable to get away from the hardworking Murphy and provide any ammunition from the left and Arma has disappeared after a lively opening ten minutes or so.

The second half starts with Manning winning a corner off of Livramento.  With our new found power at corners,  there is a bit of expectancy as Fernandes whip the ball along the 6 yard line, Dubravka flaps it out and THB attempts to hook it back over his own head, but Dubravka gets back to make a decent save, pushing over the bar,

The next goal is of course going to be vital and we know that if Newcastle score it then the game is over and with that, the ball bounces in midfield for Tonali who gambles on himself to win it and heads it forward to Isak, one touch to Gordon and another touch to Tonali who has continued his run untracked by the FA Gambling Commission and he’s cleaned through and you can bet on Tonali… you can definitely bet on Tonali not missing… in fact it’s odds on that Tonali will score and you know that if he was allowed, he’d have money on it himself for a goal at any time and Isak to get the first goal.  Anyway… against McCarthy and he’s not going to miss and he doesn’t. 3-1 game over, betting slips handed in. Fuck.

Bruno Clearly Had Money On It As Well

Newcastle know that the game is over so they play within themselves from that point on and we don’t really do anything either, and it’s boring bollocks, punctuated with the odd Newcastle chance. Lewis Hall goes down on the edge of the box and is screaming for a penalty and maybe Bednarek is a little bit fortunate to get away with pulling him back. Murphy then takes aim from the edge of the box and McCarthy gets the slightest of touches to push it onto the post,

It's substitution time which is always a bit of a nightmare for us, but at least he’s picked the right two to come off with Ryan Manning and Adam Armstrong departing to be replaced with Sugawara and Archer.  Newcastle are still occasionally looking for another goal and Joelinton manages to fire the ball past McCarthy but Bednarek has got back onto the line and it kind of hits him and rolls away for a corner.

It's rolling eyes in the head time as the excellent Big Les is replaced with Smallbone, which Ivan is clearly only doing for shits and giggles.  85 gone and a big boot clear by McCarthy is misjudged by Schar and Fernandes is through against Dubravka and like with Tonali earlier, but without all the gambling gags, he doesn’t look like he’s ever going to miss and he pings it into the net to give us a fighting chance.  Oh hang on, we are off to fucking VAR again.

You’ve done it again Sammy-boy

What?

Given a goal … now we’re got to look for a reason to definitely allow it

Hang on… onfield decision is goal, surely you look for a reason to definitely disallow it

We do what we please mate…. Hang on whilst we check.

[Scotty hangs on for four minutes]

Offside Sammy… you’re wrong again

Even though Schar went to head it?

Yeah but we can’t prove he did touch it

Can you prove he didn’t touch it?

Don’t be smart Sammy-boy, disallow please.

Oh well, it could’ve been exciting for the last 10 minutes . Another overturn of the on field decision.  I bet we don’t come last of that particular fucking table this season.  In the event, nothing much happens in the last 10 minutes. Juric makes another joke substitution bringing on Lallana to partner Smallbone in the midfield engineless room and Ryan Fraser comes on at right back, which means that the calamity defending of Sugawara is now in the place where it can do most damage in the centre of defence.  Another couple of Newcastle chances ensue, with McCarthy again doing well to block a shot from Almiron.

And so another game ends in defeat.  Not too many complaints, as we were beaten by the better side and at least we kept playing for the whole game. We needed everything to go our way to get anything out today and not a lot did.  Two decisions went for us in real time but were both inevitably changed by VAR.  Both reviews took four minutes each, so clearly not obvious howlers.  Newcastle would probably have won anyway but we needed those things to go for us to make up the seismic gap in quality between the two teams.

The overturn by VAR call for the penalty was absolutely inevitable but I do question whether it’s clear enough to overturn it with the alleged high bar for overturning decisions and the original decision carrying weight and all that shit.  Yes, it was probably a foul by Aribo on Isak, but nothing with VAR should surprise anyone because they clearly make it up as they go along. Yes they probably got it right today by the clarity of the process to arrive at decisions is all over the place.  If the same thing happens next week, they probably wouldn’t give it and the onfield decision would be upheld and there is the problem. 

Newcastle’s goal at the start of the second half, which killed the game somewhat, was followed half an hour of absolute boredom before we thought we’d got a goal back through Fernandes and we might be in for a decent last 10 minutes… but no, the decision again went our way, and then they spent ages yet again looking for conclusive proof that the goal should’ve been given, instead of what they should be doing which was looking for conclusive proof that it should be disallowed.  A four-minute review for VAR again and offside.  We won’t have this shit to put up with for much longer and we won’t be singing “it’s not football any more”.  Another joke was that only five minutes were added at the end for a four-minute VAR check, six substitutions and a goal… and that’s before you even get to ‘normal’ extra time.  Not that I gave a shit because be it five or ten extra minutes, it wouldn’t have made a difference.

Outside of the VAR random decision generator, Samuel Barrott was fucking horrendous. He didn’t give us a thing in the first half and Dan Burn was allowed to throw Tall Paul around without a single free kick given against him and the incident with Joelinton’s lunge and high foot on Tall Paul wasn’t even looked at because Big Les has breathed on him a second earlier.

Well That's One Way to Stop Him

So, the quality issue.  Up front, they had Alexander Isak and Anthony Gordon and we had Tall Paul and Adam Armstrong.  The End.  Well it's not the end as they have better players all over the pitch but it's the starkest comparison.  It was hard to argue against any of the starters playing given what has transpired over the last few weeks but if you take a step back and look at the team, there are six Championship level players in there. One or two might play well enough, but the rest won’t and you are gonna struggle to win any games because of that. Newcastle were at full strength and it really showed.    Of the six, Alex McCarthy did pretty well and wasn’t at fault for any of the goals conceded and made three excellent saves.  Jimmy Champo, Tall Paul and Joe Aribo were ok without being outstanding, but Ryan Manning and Adam Armstrong really struggled.  None of those six should be in a first choice XI in the Premier League but here we are.

Having opened the scoring with a lovely cross into the box by Jimmy Champo and a header by Bednarek, we then continued to work crossing positions and then didn’t cross the ball.  It’s maddening.  The mindset from Russell Martin’s era is still very much present at times where we just don’t put the opposition defence under pressure, and instead we turn back to the halfway line with some grand vision of scoring the perfect goal.

Ivan Juric maintained his hundred percent record and though there are slight improvements, we are continually losing and there are still some mystifying substitutions going on. Ryan Fraser going right wing back and Sugawara to centre back, when he could have brought on ABK? Mental. Ending the game with a midfield of Smallbone and Lallana, whilst Flynn Downs doesn’t make it off the bench. What the fuck?  Juric can’t afford to lose next week.  It’s Ipswich away and if we do, I feel that getting less points than the all-embarrassing Derby team is very much on the cards.

Up the Fucking Saints.

Premier League Match 1 - Newcastle 1 Southampton 0

 

How Very Surprising That You Get Red Card for This

It’s Premier League time once again and a trip to St James’ Park to play Newcastle. Couldn’t be much tougher really but you have to play everybody twice and you have to play all the tough games at some point so why not get it over with? There really shouldn’t be much expectation today unless you are the blindest of blind optimist.

Russell Martin will of course be thinking that we can get something out of today and I’m sure the game plan will be to keep it relatively tight, defend properly and then try and build from the back in the most terrifying manner possibly. What if we win though? What if?

There are three fixtures before the first international break, with this one, Nottingham Forest at home and then Brentford away. This on paper is the least winnable out of three, so even more so than the result, there is a need to put in a performance and prove we belong in this division and are going to be competitive.  We have to get out of here and not leave everybody dead flat about our possibilities of having a decent season. By having a decent season, I of course mean finishing 17^th or above.  Call that pessimistic if you like but it isn’t – it’s brutal realism and that’s what life is like for a newly promoted side.  All the predictions are in from the pundits, some who are knowledgeable and some who are not so much, and our average predicted placing is flat last. Roy Keane was one of the notable few, who thinks that we will surprise a few people. I’ve always liked Roy Keane.

Since the signing of Ben Brereton Diaz, the discontent among some elements of the fan base has grown because we are still short in a number of areas but in the day leading up to this game, a couple of them were addressed with the arrival of Cameron Archer from Aston Villa to bulk out the ranks of strikers and we had the arrival of  Lesley Ugochukwu from Chelsea on a season long loan. Archer had a disappointing season at Sheffield United last season managing just 4 goals in 32 games and on the face of it, reuniting the strike force from one of the worst Premier League teams in history maybe doesn’t seem like the best move, but we must hope that the rest of the team being miles better than the Sheffield United relegation team means he performs a lot better.

It was no surprise that someone signed one of the 47 players that Chelsea have got in their squad this season and their surge-recruitment is to our benefit with the signing of Ugochukwu, a 20-year-old, six-foot-three French central midfield player. He is very highly rated by Chelsea, hence there is absolutely no option to buy so they see this as a season for his development. We will see it as important cover should Flynn Downes be unavailable but also an option to make us more dominant in midfield alongside Downes.  I am hoping he is the physically dominant force that we once had with Victor Wanyama.  Apparently, he has a great engine for getting up and down the pitch which in my mind will make it easier for us to play a 4-3-3 formation because as I’ve said before, I don’t feel that Smallbone and Aribo have the legs to play together in that formation.

The two signings illustrate again that we have to be clever to compete in this league. It was loaded enough against promoted sides anyway but now it’s even more so, as your PSR spending limit is less if you have spent one season in the last three in the Championship. Saints have a further disadvantage in the in the season we got relegated, our loss was something like £85 million and we are carrying that around for three seasons with regards to PSR spending limits. That’s why this season it’s all about staying up by any method possible, be that other team is getting points deductions or clever moves in the transfer market.

Breathtaking Lack of Self-Awareness

Oddly enough, PSR is a bugbear of our opponents today.  Newcastle finished fourth and had a Champions League campaign two years ago but last year fell away a little bit and finished seventh. It’s hard to imagine, given who their owners are, that the Newcastle board is going to give Eddie Howe a free ride this season. There will be expectations, certainly to finish in the top six and maybe even the top four. They appear on paper to have a squad to do it but because the really big boys in the Super League Six want a closed shop, the PSR rules prevent them from spending as much money as they could afford to do.   They do have some fabulous players however with Bruno Guimaraes and Alexander Isak being the main two to worry about. It could also be a trial by fire for Yuki Sugawara, who will be up against Anthony Gordon, who will have a point to prove to the new interim England manager Lee Carsley.  

They also have one of our old boys in the line up in Tino Livramento.  I paid very little attention to the Premier League last season but did notice that Tino played a number of games at left back but he is widely expected to displace Kieran Trippier in Newcastle starting line up on the right this season.   One with Saints connections who won’t be in the Newcastle side is Ryan Fraser, who despite being on loan to us last season, and all parties wanting him to join for this campaign, has still not done so.  It would appear that Newcastle are being very petty over the final year of his contract and Wee Man has dug his heels in. Either that or Newcastle are shitting themselves about having to play against Wee Man and the transfer will go through sometime in the next two weeks.

Of our new signings, Ugochukwu is not available today, but Cameron Archer is, so all eyes on 1.45pm and the team announcement…. As expected to start the game but the bench has a few surprises… both Sam Amo and Tyler Dibling are on there, as is Charly Alcaraz.  There is no place for Tall Paul, possibly because the very special set of skills he has (being massive) would be negated in this game by Dan Burn, who has the same skillset.

We open the season in nervy fashion with Newcastle having a bit of possession around our penalty area but we keep them at arms length pretty well.  After about ten minutes we begin to geta  foothold and Brereton Diaz shows a bit of what he’s about by carrying the ball from the edge of our penalty area to the edge of theirs before losing out to the retreating Joelinton.  Aribo wins the ball back off of Guimaraes to halt the Newcastle break and against a huge backdrop of Newcastle fans screaming for a foul, we work the ball out to Sugawara on the right, who bursts past Lewis Hall who drags him back with a hand on the shoulder. More anger from the Newcastle fans as the most nailed on yellow card is brandished by Craig Pawson.

Smallbone chips in the freekick and it’s half cleared to the edge of the box before Smallbone finds Aribo it goes down the right and cuts it back to meet Smallbone’s run and he’s scuffs it goalwards and it’s going wide and Stephens at the back post knocks it into the net but it’s very clearly offside and no excuse to get excited at all.

We are now looking like the better side, breaking the Newcastle press with ease.  We allow them to get back though and when they do, we recycle the ball and keep it well for ten or so passes until Adam Armstrong finds himself with the Newcastle defenders backing off and the Newcastle born lad smashes in an effort from 30 yards which is always going over but it’s close enough to be encouraging.

Half an hour gone and Downes goes in for a tackle in the centre circle and the ref gives a free kick but the ball has gone towards the Newcastle goal and Fabian Schar has possession. Brereton Diaz decides to go and tackle him and then it all kicks off.  Schar gets up and shoves Brereton Diaz in the chest and then it’s eyeballs at close range and Schar drops the nut on him which is 100% going to get you a red card. For his part, Ben has gone into full shithouse mode and hit the deck spectacularly.  Over comes Craig Pawson and a big gang of Newcastle players and whilst everyone is pushing and shoving, he goes off to VAR.

“Hi Craig, Stockley Park here”
“Hi there boys, is Howard with you?”
“Yeah… he’s dressed up as the grim reaper as some kind of threat”
“OK, better do this properly then - we have an issue… Schar has nutted him hasn’t he?”
“Yes, Craig, clear as day…”
“But it’s Newcastle isn’t it?”
“Yes Craig…”
“What’s that noise I can hear on the line”
“Oh we’re fucking with you Craig - that’s just us playing a recording of a bonesaw cutting up a journalist”
“Very funny lads”
“Yeah, it’s a documentary, available on BBC Sounds in the North-East”
“Moving on lads – so what about the hairy Southampton player?”
“Top quality shithousing Craig… no rule against it”
“Fair enough”

Yellow card for Brereton Diaz, red card for Schar… off you fuck.

Brereton Diaz is now Public Enemy Number One in this part of the world of course, so the next time he gets the ball, he scampers down the left wing before a hard but fair tackle from Longstaff comes flying in.  Longstaff, being a bit of a thick twat himself, tries to goad BBD into sticking his head in again but Ben just laughs at this hilariously dumb attempt to make him react.

Saints are totally on top now and we really need to be putting pressure on whilst Newcastle adapt. They have taken off that twat Jacob Murphy and replaced him with a defender (Krafth).  Oh Jacob Murphy – Duje could have left the club an absolute legend if he’d smacked you one as he’d walked off.  Meanwhile, back to today and one passing move ends with KWP turning down the chance for a shot and instead trying a difficult pass which runs out of play. Next attack is out with Sugawara out on the right and this time he doesn’t even need to beat Lewis Hall as he digs out a fantastic cross and the perfect script is about to be written as Brereton Diaz gets in front of Livramento and he meets it and.....  Ben pulls out a 50p header and it flies into the crowd.  Shite.

So all under control and no need to panic and Newcastle are just launching balls into our half and we are dealing with them until we get a throw out on the left. KWP ends up giving the ball away before Gordon gives it back to us with an attempt to pass to Isak which goes to Stephens.  Stevo decides to go back to McCarthy who then produces an absolutely horrible bag of shit pass, which is kind of aimed back at Stephens but the trouble is, Alexander Isak is still in the way and guess what happens when you give the ball to one of the best forwards in the Premier League in your own penalty area? One touch, head up, pass into Joelinton, Goal. Oh Fuck off.

THB and Will Try To Bail McCarthy Out of his One-Off Mistake.  Fail.

Half time and Dan Burn is playing the hard man in the tunnel.  They really are dickheads – maybe we could have done with Tall Paul being there after all as a minder.  It doesn’t take a genius to work out what we’re going to get in the second half - 45 minutes against 10 men camped on the edge of their own box and a much time wasting as you could possibly imagine.  Sugawara is somewhat unlucky to be replaced with Sam Edozie as we’re going to go back four.  Edozie starts running at Livramento straight away to a cascade of abuse from the many Newcastle fans who can’t tell a white man with long hair and a beard from a black man with some braids and some tattoos.  It’s a good job they’re not sat up on the moon like our fans are.  Edozie slips a ball forward to Aribo who pulls it back but Adam Armstrong scuffs the shot which is cleared off the line by Hall and when Brereton Diaz follow up, it hits Livramento and goes wide. Fucks sake. Hall’s clearance actually hit’s the back of Pope’s head but instead of bouncing obligingly into the net, it comes out and Livramento knew absolutely fuck all about blocking the follow up.

Brereton Diaz has been moved inside to accommodate Edozie coming on and breaks behind Hall and a simple pass inside finds Adam Armstrong, whose touch bounces up invitingly for him to smash it but Pope takes off and pulls off a really good save.  Pope must be a bit annoyed with that because having tipped it away for a corner, he can’t waste two minutes taking a goal kick or flop to the ground holding the ball when he catches it.

Newcastle are defending deeper and deeper but no matter how many players Saints get into the box it’s not happening. Downes shoots and it’s blocked back out to Aribo who hits it and it deflects for a corner.  This set piece, like every single one before it, is headed away and dealt with easily.

Russell rolls the dice with the excellent Aribo and Brereton Diaz being replaced with Dibling and Cameron Archer comes on for his debut.  Armstrong has another effort from inside the penalty area which deflects wide for a corner which is easily cleared yet again. The final roll of the dice is a bit of a Hail Mary with KWP and Bednarek being replaced with Charly Alcaraz and Sam Amo.

92, 93 and it’s all very slow and methodical and we are not passing it quick enough and therefore not moving the defence about enough.  Dibling eventually finds Sam Amo, who gets his cross in straight away and Alcaraz rises well and heads goalwards only for Pope to fall on it and smile like a man who knows he’s going to get away with wasting the next three minutes.  Time’s nearly up and there’s one more cross into the box by Edozie, which is met by the leaping Archer but once again it’s straight down Pope’s throat.

And shit. I said before the game that we needed to show that we could compete at this level and that was almost more important than the result, so you could say that our performance when it was 11 v 11 and our ball retention in the second half show that we can compete. However, with an hour against 10 men, we really shouldn’t be coming away with a defeat and it’s disappointing from that point of view.

So, why did we lose? Obviously, the key moment was the goal that we gave away and though Russell Martin and the other players tried to pass it off as a “one off”, “one of those things” and “it could happen to anybody“, the fact is that everyone knew it was going to happen to Alex McCarthy.  In his last three appearances in friendlies in pre-season, McCarthy has passed the ball straight to the opposition about seven times and because it’s pre-season, the various strikers from Oxford, Lazio and Getafe have all missed. If you give the ball to Alexander Isak in your own penalty area, then Newcastle are going to score and one pass later, that’s what they did. The problem with trying to write this off as some sort of one-off is that it isn’t a one off and after those friendlies - it was the most predictable thing in the world.  When people show you who they are – believe them.  We need another goalkeeper - end of discussion and after watching our efforts at the top end of the pitch in the second half, we need some creativity.

When the red card happened on the half hour, with the score at 0-0, the absolute last thing you need is to give a goal away. If we go in 0-0 at half-time then Newcastle would still have had one eye on trying to win the game and it was therefore have been more open and we could maybe have created something. As it was, having been gifted the lead, all Newcastle did was drop deep and we didn’t have enough about us to cause them enough problems and of course, they took time out of the game and did that and defended really well.  It is a 100% clear cut red card and I’m not having anybody saying that Fabian Schar didn’t deserve to get sent off. Yes, there is no argument that Brereton Diaz made a meal out of it but even if he hadn’t, sticking the nut in on someone is probably going to get you a red card with VAR, even if the player doesn’t go down – even though of course, the on-pitch referee won’t give it unless someone hits the deck. Newcastle were already getting frustrated at that point because we weren’t letting them have it all their own way and then of course it got worse with the usual suspects like Bruno Guimaraes and Dan Burn being in the face of the referee and generally being fucking dicks.  The reaction from BBD in the incident is nothing but embarrassing and ultimately, it didn’t help once we gave the goal away.

The second half was attack versus defence and we did well to make it that sort of game, dealing with any Newcastle breaks pretty well. The problem was that we didn’t create that much against Newcastle’s low block two banks of four. Adam Armstrong brought a decent save out of Nick Pope but overall had a disappointing and slightly worrying return to top-flight football, smashing one narrowly over the bar in the first half but generally ghosting the second half despite staying on the pitch to the end.  Cameron Archer only got a few minutes and fired one chance over the bar and Ben Brereton Diaz started the game really positively but actually lost his way a bit after the red card and maybe the abuse he was getting from the Geordie crowd affected him a bit. As in the final friendly against Getafe, I do feel that our strikers are playing too wide and that they are closer to the fullbacks than they are to the central defenders so at times it looks like a 5-5-0 formation, which all adds to our difficulty in sticking the ball in the net.  Maybe it was just for this particular game because teams had success last year with playing that way against Newcastle, pinning back the full backs and getting bodies forward from midfield.

The Two Brereton Diaz Look-a-Likes Sum Up the Day

Despite winning, Newcastle fans are spitting fire over the BBD shithousing but they'll say nothing about the time-wasting that Craig Pawson allowed them to get away with in the second half in particular.  If you told me that the ball was in play for 15 minutes out of the 45 then I wouldn't be surprised.  It's usually one of the few things that the fans of the team that's behind, can influence the referee, but no chance of that with Newcastle still being allowed to put the away fans right up somewhere above the gods.  We gave them the opportunity to waste all that time with the shite goal we conceded so in effect, we only have ourselves to blame.  As an aside, there was a ruling made in 2017 that away fans had to be at pitch level in the Premier league but Newcastle successfully argued that they couldn't segregate away fans, because of cost of sorting the segregation, so they got given special dispensation which was initially only for a year.  Here we are six years later and they are still doing it - I think the Saudi's could afford it now and it wouldn't count towards their PSR limit as it's infrastructure.  It takes the piss that away fans are still shoved right up there.

Russell Martin emptied the bench in the second half to try and find a goal with us ending up with Tyler Dibling, Sam Amo, Adam Armstrong, Cameron Archer, Charlie Alcaraz and Sam Edozie all on the pitch at the same time. I think he knows we have a problem at the top end of the pitch still. The only substitution I have any issue with was removing Sugawara at half-time. Unless that was an injury then I don’t get it. If we want to go to four at the back then surely it’s better to have an attacking threat from both sides and KWP and Sugawara were both excellent in the first half.  Yuki’s cross that Brereton Diaz headed over was the best cross of the game. In short, I really feel that one of the central defenders should’ve come off.

Roll on Nottingham Forest at home next week. We have to go into that with the knowledge that whilst it was 11 against 11, we were the better side at St James’s Park. The last time we played Forest it was quite possibly the worst game I’ve ever seen in 50 years of watching Saints and that was decided by a horrendous defensive mistake by Lyanco and once we gifted Forest a goal, we had absolutely no clue how to get a goal ourselves. Then as now, things haven’t changed. Giving goals away at Premier League level is a hell of a lot more costly than it is at Championship level. Adapt or die.

Up the fucking Saints.

Premier League Match 34 - Newcastle 3 Southampton 1

 

Yeah, I Don't Know Why The Fuck You're Still Here Either

After the depression of Thursday night and all but confirming our relegation, a trip to the North East to play the second best team in the country, who we’ve already lost three times to this season, was probably not on the wish list of anyone.   Let alone going there needing to win.  Newcastle‘s last two performances have been a 6-1 home win against Tottenham and a 4-1 away win against Everton and here we come. Usually, you would back a team that had just come off a massively disappointing result to put up some sort of better showing in a game like this I wouldn’t back our manager and players to do anything right now. Of course, this season we have usually done better in, what on paper look like, the more difficult games but there seems to be finally a realisation at the club that we are in the shit now, so will we fight or will we give up.

Before the Bournemouth game I thought that if we win that, we could come up here and maybe grind out a point which shows that even last week I was still deluding myself slightly that we had some sort of functioning football team to support. We haven’t.

I’ve seen it written this week that Eddie Howe would have our squad in mid table if he was manager and I think there is a lot of truth in that. Even Eddie failed in the end at Bournemouth however but for years he kept them punching above their weight and making them better than the sum of the parts.  He is certainly doing that in Newcastle at the moment with the quality players that they have brought in like Alexander Isak and Bruno Guimaraes raising the level of the previously average players around them. The likes of Miguel Almiron, Callum Wilson, Jacob Murphy, Sean Longstaff and Joelinton are all unrecognisable from the players they were pre-take over.

Yes, the Saudi takeover is undeniably dodgy and extremely questionable at least but in some ways, I find it quite amusing that most of the complaints have come from clubs whose seat at the top table in the Super League bracket is now under threat. Everyone bar Manchester City is looking over the shoulder at what Newcastle are doing and it’s when you compare them to the likes of Chelsea, who have of course spent much more money than Newcastle have, that you realise the impressive job that has been done up there.

Hopefully we put in a bit of a performance today and a bit of pride to be shown. Today’s assignment better suits Ruben and his negative mindset but it’s tombola time again when we learn the line up with Lyanco, Djenepo, Stuart Armstrong, ABK and Sulemana all starting.  I have no idea who is going where or what the formation is.  Is Djenepo at left wing back?  Is Lyanco at right back or in a three at the back?

Saints make a decent start, popping the ball around with Stuart Armstrong powering forward and via Sulemana and a dodgy touch by Djenepo, KWP shows good intent to arrive at the edge of the box to have a go with his right foot at the near post but Pope keeps it out reasonably easily.

The next effort is also down the left-hand side with Armstrong picking up the ball and with no real options, tryies to blast it through Pope from a narrow angle but he is not going to be beaten from there.  The first alarm came soon after as Murphy slid a pass in between Bednarek and Lyanco to send Gordon away but the ex-Everton show pony can only hit the side netting.

We’re doing ok but we need a bit of luck when Gordon’s cross is accidentally headed out to the edge of the area by Isak and falls perfectly for Bruno Guimaraes to volley but he lashes it well wide.

More Newcastle pressure as Isak in midfield, plays the ball in between Bednarek and Lyanco for Gordon to run onto and he draws Alex McCarthy before sliding it past him, off the outside of the post and out. If you could pick one Newcastle player to be running through on goal it would be Gordon and we got away with one there

With Newcastle not getting it all their own way and getting frustrated, it’s all too much for the twat Bruno Guimaraes who trashes through Romeo Lavia right in front of Anthony Taylor who decides that it’s not a yellow card. Alright then. Bruno makes the most of his reprieve by then trashing straight through Stuart Armstrong and unbelievably, Taylor doesn’t book him again. Players have been sent off for two yellows for those two tackles. Fucking ridiculous.

Bruno’s day gets worse however when Burn played the ball into midfield to Bruno who was closed down by Lavia who got a foot in. Bruno is a course appealing to the referee after this perfectly fair tackle but meanwhile, Charly Alcaraz picks up the ball and drives at the Newcastle defence before feeding Sulemana out on the right. Sulemana’s cross to the edge of the 6 yard box is met by Stuart Armstrong who darts in front of Trippier to apply the finishing touch. Fucking hell, we are winning.

Nice Goal - When Will You Be Substituted?

There is little time to respond for Newcastle before half-time and we go in a goal to the good. I’m just feeling that the chances of us defending for 45 minutes against Newcastle and not being totally bollocksed by Selles having the ability to make five substitutions, is minimal.  Eddie Howe has made a sub and brought on Callum Wilson for Anthony Gordon.

At the start of the second half it becomes apparent that we are not gonna push forward at all and it’s all gonna be one way traffic towards our goal.  Trippier whips in a free-kick from the left hand side which is met at the back post by Botman who is virtually on top of McCarthy but the ball hits Macca before Wilson goes for the rebound but a combination of Macca and Lyanco manage to get it past the post.

It’s a matter of time though and Isak gets down the left-hand side with Lyanco too far infield and Sulemana not getting close enough to him and his cross is met by Wilson who cannot miss from about 8 yards out. 1-1…. And now, ladies and gentleman, we will elect to collapse.

Selles then takes out the shotgun and shoots us three times in the bollocks. When you bring on Adam Armstrong, Elyounoussi and Maitland-Niles on in one go, you are undeniably weakening three elevenths of your team. Sulemana, Stuart Armstrong and Lyanco being the players replaced.

The substitutions do predictably absolutely nothing to stem the tide. Wilson has the ball in the net a few minutes later as an Isak cross and Almiron flick find him in front of McCarthy but after a VAR check, it’s given as offside.

No matter though because from the next corner a few minutes later, Trippier’s inswinger is flicked on by Schar is deflected into his own net by Theo Walcott. Fucks sake.  You would think it’s game over at this point but the good news is that we have Adam Armstrong fresh and ready to go grab an equalizer.

Even with Che Adams now on for Charly Alcaraz, we do fuck all as Pope’s long bomb forward is not is not dealt with by Maitland-Niles, which enables Wilson to walk around the goalkeeper and put it into the net.

The final 10 minutes are just a procession towards our goal with Wilson managing to hit the bar twice with one shot and Bednarek underlining the excellent game that he has had, pulling out a series of body-on-the-line blocks to stop Newcastle running away with it.

And it’s over without any further damage. I’m not exaggerating when I say that Newcastle should probably have scored about seven in the second half.

We actually managed to string together 45 decent minutes in the first-half and you could argue that we deserved to be in front bearing in mind Newcastle had not had one shot on target. The closest they got was Anthony Gordon hitting the post. Our goal was the product of a great tackle by Lavia, on the shithouse Bruno Guimaraes, a driving run forward by Alcaraz, picking out the right pass to Sulemana and some lovely movement in the middle by Stuart Armstrong.  In the second half we did absolutely fuck all in attack and couldn’t string two passes together. It was absolutely shite and the inevitable happened and when Newcastle got one they were only ever going to score again.  We weren’t going to score because Selles had taken off all the forward players with any ability and replaced them with the training cones.

I said at half-time that we were going to have to survive all the Newcastle could throw at us plus Ruben Selles’ substitutions and the Polo-neck with the Reverse Midas touch turned everything to shit with his most spectacular substitution yet. Bringing on Adam Armstrong, Elyounoussi and Maitland-Niles means you are bringing on three slices of shite and within four minutes the ball had been in our net three times, with two of those goals actually counting.  Of course, the players who had provided all our attacking impetus in the first half, namely Djenepo, Stuart Armstrong, Sulemana and Alcaraz were all substituted by then.

If anyone hadn’t already thought that Selles isn’t up to the job then they must surely see it now. Utter fraud. Yes, Newcastle were good but we were pathetic in the second half. It was exactly the same against Arsenal a week ago and Selles tried the same tactics again with the same result.  Basically if you haven’t worked out by now that our defence is not good enough to stand up to extreme pressure, then you are never going to know.  We have to attack a bit and keep the ball a bit just to take the pressure off them. 

Dragan Wonders Why We Employ These Idiots

As I said after the Bournemouth game, get rid of him now because there’s absolutely no point in him being here, having failed as badly as he has. We are now on our longest run without a win of the season which is a pretty spectacular effort bearing in mind we’ve sacked the last two managers after better runs than that. Nathan Jones must be sat there with his pay out, hanging out the pockets of a very expensive Stone Island jacket, pissing himself laughing.  Ruben wouldn’t wear Stone Island of course – not suave enough for him.  Ruben might have a nice suit on but there’s nothing underneath, certainly not a football manager – Emperors New Clothes.

Sulemana, Armstrong and Alcaraz were three players who combined for the goal and played well in the first half and we could’ve done with them on the pitch once we went behind... but not to be, thanks to the Spanish Nathan Jones.  Defensively there were two really good performances by Jan Bednarek and ABK and Alex McCarthy in goal did ok and didn’t have a chance with any of the Newcastle goals. Lyanco struggled in the first 20 minutes against Anthony Gordon but then he shut him out for the rest of the first half but he kept drifting into the middle into the area where are you would normally play as a right-sided centre back in a three, and that meant we got absolutely killed down that wing in the second half.  Rather than correctly Lyanco’s positioning, Selles brought on Maitland-Niles at right back and he immediately gave away the third goal because he’s shit. 

And so another game goes by and now we have just four left and mathematically we still have a chance, however with Leicester playing Everton tomorrow, a Leicester win would mean we were eight points adrift. It’s all largely relevant anyway because we can’t win a game. Selles has not won in his last nine games, remember. Our next attempt is against Nottingham Forest away who are one of the five unimaginably shite teams featuring in the bottom quarter of the Premier League.  I expect we’ll go all out to win – my arse.

Up the fucking Saints.

Carabao Cup Semi-Final 2nd Leg - Newcastle 2 Southampton 1 (Newcastle win 3-1 on aggregate)

 

5 At the Back - Get In

A trip to Saint James‘ Park to play one of the form teams in the country in front of nearly 60,000 expectant Geordies and to make matters even harder, we are of course 1-0 down already. Yes, Saints and Nathan Jones have certainly got a job on their hands today.

In the end, with having 10 men for the last 10 minutes, it was good to get here just the one goal behind but what that does mean is that in order to have any chance of going through today, we are going to have to score twice, so Jones has to set up the team to have some sort of attacking plan and threat from more or less the first whistle.  If we are to go out tonight, which is the expected outcome, then we have to go out having at least had a go and having tested the opposition goalkeeper.  If we just turn up, sit tight and get beat, then it really isn’t going to be good enough. When asked about this upcoming game, Jones used the question to almost try and prove how clever he is, saying the fans were moaning because we were not going forward with 10 men in the last 10 minutes. It was a strange and needless argument to try and win.

Whilst we were struggling to get past Blackpool in the FA Cup fourth round, Newcastle had a weekend off so we can fully expect them to be at full strength. The aforementioned FA Cup win gave Jones some food for thought regarding Romain Perraud who quite simply, really should play today because if nothing else, he offers a goal for it in a team that doesn’t have much… oh, and he’s our only natural left back and having got shafted down that side in the first leg, a natural left back might be a good idea.

During their weekend off, Newcastle managed to spend £45 million on Anthony Gordon from Everton, which I find a bit of a strange one. Gordon had a couple of eye-catching performances for Everton at the end of last season but every time you see him highlighted in a game recently, it’s usually because he is diving about. That’s diving not driving, which Joelinton won’t be doing for a while.

If I could pick an outcome for this game, it would be for Saints to win 2-0 with a winning goal from Caleta-Car in the 94th minute and him celebrating in front of the Newcastle bench with a little camp wave of his hand.

The game is of course being played on transfer deadline day, so there was all kinds of shit going on in the build-up. Having been linked with Portuguese striker called Vitinha in the morning (he eventually moved to Marseille), we have signed a Nigerian international 6 foot 7 striker in Paul Onuachu from Belgian side Genk.  His goal scoring record is excellent in the Belgian league but as we know, players from that league don’t always do well over here, Moussa Djenepo being a recent example.  Rather confusingly, we have also spent over £20 million on a winger in Kamaldeen Sulemana.  I say ‘confusingly’ because Nathan Jones doesn’t really want to play with wingers and wants them to be wing-backs and also, Sulemana can’t get into the Rennes team as it stands so it’s a bit of an odd one that we’ve spunked that much money on it.  However, Sport Republic cannot be criticized for not backing their manager.  Maybe they can be criticized for backing this particular manager but Nathan Jones can have absolutely no excuse for not getting us above the relegation line by the end of the season.

Ours is the Big Guy

Anyway, back to tonight and the concept of trusting Nathan Jones is given an almighty kick in the bollocks with the team news.  It’s fucking strange because the starting 11 has clearly been pulled out of a tombola or some other device that does random shit. Whether Jones is just trying to be edgy or different is hard to fucking tell.  It’s very clearly a back three – you know, that formation that never fucking works for us especially when we need to score goals. Not only that but Caleta-Car is going to find it hard to score the winner from the bench.  Somehow, Bednarek is playing in his place.  Is this that Jones knows what everyone thinks of the decision to bring Bednarek back so he’s trying to prove he was right?  At right wing back is James Bree, playing his first ever game above Championship level and he is straight into the team in a semi-final at St James’s Park. Sink or swim time for James and it also means that KWP will be on the left which as we all know, he’s not his best side. Roman Perraud, fresh from scoring two goals at the weekend, it’s still a substitute. Up front, somehow, there is a place for Adam Armstrong with Sam Edozie having been left out.  You just know that we’re going to be shit and here we go.

It takes four fucking minutes. Alcaraz plays a careless pass across midfield and gives the ball away but Joelinton’s heavy touch gives it to Lyanco who promptly gives it away again. Bruno Guimaraes picks it up and works his way across the field to find Longstaff.  On to Trippier who plays a short ball inside to Longstaff who is in absolutely fucking acres with all our defenders nowhere and he takes a touch and scores.  Wank. Absolute wank. So many things are shit about this goal from our point of view and best of all, we’re fucked, game over.  3 goals up here?  No chance.

Not learning and not changing anything, Longstaff again picks up the ball plays it to Bruno and continues his run into the box where no one goes with him and he really should do better than controlling and shooting wide. We’re gonna get fucking hammered here at this rate.  Willock and Joelinton combine and build up the left.  Willock leaves Lyanco for dead and finds Almiron, who cuts it back and Longstaff is again unmarked and smashes it into the net.  2-0, 20 minutes gone, hilarious.

We settle for a bit and ten minutes later, Dan Burn plays a ball down the left-hand side to Willock who plays a horrendous pass behind the Newcastle midfield and Che Adams picks it up, turns and then absolutely laces it across Pope and into the far corner of the net.  What a fucking goal that is… where the fuck did that come from and all that.  Che – scores from 35 yards, misses from 1.

Don't Think, Just Hit It

Having got back into it, Lyanco, who is having an absolute shite of a game, decides to put his arm around Wilson‘s neck and drag him over as a cross comes in from Trippier. That’s a penalty all day long but somehow the referee Paul Tierney and VAR have decided not to bother.  More trouble though as KWP goes down with what looks like a hamstring injury and  has to be replaced and it’s Sam Edozie going into the left wing back role which is guaranteed to not get the best out of him.  Still we get to half time just the 2-1 down on the night.

It's been a mare to be honest.  Bree has been all over the place which is not surprising and not his fault and he’s not been helped by Lyanco who has paused his recent improvement to be abysmal.  Bednarek has been ok after standing off, along with everyone else for the first goal.  Elsewhere, Alcaraz and JWP have been invisible and this single ‘pivot’ thing has just been run all over by Newcastle.  We are also in effect playing with 10 with Armstrong just occupying an area of the pitch.  Jones has to pull a rescue act from the bench to try and rescue us from his fuck ups and with Romeo Lavia and Roman Perraud coming on for Lyanco and Alcaraz.  Back four to try and rescue it again.

We start the second-half reasonably well and are keeping the ball a lot better. Newcastle have dropped and look happy to see the game out. We are however completely clueless about finding a way through and it takes half an hour before Nick Pope even sees the ball. Diallo has gone off for Aribo by this stage.

Romeo Lavia is pulling the strings and midfield and slides a lovely ball through to Adam Armstrong who is clean through on the edge of the box but needless to say, he takes too long, gives Pope enough time to get off his line and fucks it.  That was the last chance to make them a bit edgy about things.

Newcastle aren’t threatening much but a long ball forward sees Botman push Salisu out of the way and then head the ball against him and everyone goes up for a penalty.  Fuck off. Should’ve had one of the first half but no way. The ball bounces free to Longstaff he smashes it and it’s only way for a hat-trick until Baz takes off to pull off a decent save.  More Newcastle pressure and Bruno drives forward for midfield after Lavia plays an air shot and attempts to curl on with his left foot and it flicks off the post.

Guimaraes is a great player but he’s also a dick.  He finally gets the booking he deserves after three fouls in three minutes as Edozie cuts infield and Bruno takes him out.  He’s pissing and moaning about getting the booking and this is interesting, it’s going to VAR as a potential red card.

“Paul, Paul, Stockley Park here”
“What’s up?”
"Only one game on tonight so I'm here on my own watching porn on the other monitor"
"Nice - did you have one eye on the game at least?"
“Yes Paul - It’s a bad one, over the ball, stamps on his ankle”
“We can’t give it mate, y’know (whispers)… the Saudi’s
“Grow a pair Paul, look at the screen”
“oh ok…(walks over)…. Fuck that’s bad”
“Has he apologised or checked that the kid’s alright Paul?”
“Has he fuck, just bitching about the 3 fouls I didn’t book him for in the last 5 minutes”
“Red card then Paul”
“Get ready for him to take 5 minutes to get the fuck off the pitch”

Such a Shame He Doesn't Miss The Final

Fucking hell that’s dreadful and it has to be a red and sure enough, Paul Tierney cancels the yellow and out comes the red. Fucking dirty bastard. Bruno still hangs around like he’s got some sort of right to not get sent off. Just get off the pitch you wanker.

Anyway, 8 minutes to go and JWP lines up the free-kick and this really has to go in but unfortunately it gets blocked by Isak‘s head in the wall and he stays down like he’s been punched by Tyson Fury.  In the mean time, we chuck on Mara for Salisu, so now we only have one centre back and it’s Jan Bednarek.

Bree has been much better in the second half playing in the flat back four and one of his deliveries from the right hand side get nodded behind for a corner. JWP pulls out a routine from the training ground and finds Lavia on the edge of the box but his first time effort is always going up and into the crowd.  There’s a few minutes added for Guimaraes not getting off the pitch and Isak getting hit with the ball but it would have needed about another 3 hours I reckon.

And out we go with a whimper – yes the second half was better because we killed ourself in the first but even so, it was hardly the alamo on the Newcastle goal. We were out of the game as soon as Jones handed his team sheet in at 7 o’clock. Shit formation, crazy selections and it only took four minutes for the game to be completely dead as far as us getting through to Wembley was concerned.  If you want to keep it tight at the start then don’t pick a back 5 that have never played together before.  Bednarek and Bree starting in that defence with KWP on the wrong side and it was a shambles from the start, admittedly not helped by midfielders not tracking runners.  The midfield not tracking runners is all Jones needs to completely excuse himself from any wrongdoing with the personnel, tactics and formations. He is very quick to blame the players for not taking information on board which the coaches apparently gave them to divert attention away from the fact that he completely fucked it.  He always says that formations don’t matter, which everyone knows is utter shit and if they don’t matter, why do you fucking change formation between one and six times a game?

Jones defended his pet formation in the post-match interviews and he just sounded like a prick who won’t accept that it doesn’t work with these players that we have. Jones says that we were passive, which was more of a problem than the formation but he is being disingenuous because he is basically saying that he doesn’t trust the defenders to defend with a four, so he puts an extra body in there and that immediately puts us on the back foot. This one is on you Nathan – you didn’t give us a chance.  You fucked the first leg by not playing with a left back you fucked this one as well.  The manager sets the tone for the performance and even though we were already 1-0 down from the first game, he sent them out with a mindset to sit off, with his shit formation. Even Che Adams said in his post-match interview that we were better with a four.

What Jones also doesn’t seem to get is that three at the back makes us passive and everybody seems to shirk responsibility because none of our defenders are good enough to take responsibility unless there is absolutely no choice. The opening goal is absolutely pathetic with Alcaraz and Armstrong totally failing to track the runners and then all five of our defenders are in a line on the 6 yard line but the trouble is, Longstaff has the ball 10 yards out and he has enough time to take a touch before smashing it into the net. Goalkeepers positioning was absolutely shit as well.

The second goal was different but similar with Alcaraz just jogging back not realising the Longstaff was behind him, this was after Lyanco and Bree had done absolutely nothing to prevent the attack building down our right hand side. Longstaff really isn’t that good and he hadn’t scored a goal at St James’s Park for four years but it just goes to show that if you leave a player unmarked in the middle of your penalty area, the chances are he might score… Unless he’s wearing one of our shirts of course.

2-0 down and we get back into it with a goal that was created by a loose pass by Newcastle and finished with an unbelievable strike by Adams. He is so fucking random. Maybe it’s a final third thing.  As soon as he gets in the final third he goes to shit so maybe he needs to spend the game more than 30 yards out.

Having switched to a back four once again, in the second half we will probably the better side as Newcastle didn’t really need to go chasing the game but even after Bruno got deservedly sent off for his ridiculous over the top challenge on Edozie, we didn’t really test the keeper. We had one real effort in the whole of the second half when Adam Armstrong found himself clean through but he had two choices, either take one touch and hit it or dribble it round the goalkeeper and unfortunately he chose to take two touches which gave Pope enough time to get out of there and smother it., thus summing up Adam Armstrong completely. Simply not good enough.

I felt sorry for James Bree. Thrown into a game that he should never have been thrown into and he struggled like fuck in the first half with a right-hand side pairing of him and Lyanco being a complete disaster. He improved massively in the second half as a right back in a flat back four and his arrival and improvement will be needed with KWP seemingly injured again.

More Nathan Jones strangeness was apparent in the role of KWP who was nominally at left back, of course not playing on his best side but when are centre backs had the ball and we were desperately trying to find a way of getting out of defence in the first half, KWP was doing that Manchester City thing and sitting in the centre of midfield which basically meant that there was no width whatsoever on that side. The injury to KWP was what forced Jones to try and be more attacking with the introduction of Edozie.

Of the centre backs, Lyanco as earlier discussed, was a fucking nightmare and seemed to spend the whole game on his arse. Salisu was strong enough and didn’t make any mistakes and Bednarek improved after not covering himself in glory on the first goal. With all the substitutions of the end, Bednarek was the only centre back on the pitch, which is something you certainly would’ve predicted a couple of weeks ago.

In midfield Alcaraz and JWP were completely anonymous in the first half and JWP was only marginally more prominent in the second.  Diallo tried his best but his lack of quality on the ball was again evident. Romeo Lavia made an absolutely huge difference when he came on and looked to be back to more or less his best. Up front, Che banged in a wonderfully instinctive goal and worked hard throughout and Adam Armstrong was Adam Armstrong. 

We don't get to many semi-finals so it's not nice to come away from one feeling that though we lost to a good side, we could have undoubtedly done better.  Anyhow, back to the league and a trip to Rasmus Ankersen’s former club, Brentford. No doubt we are going to see a debut for our new massive striker. I’m also sure that Jones will have a tactical master plan on how to use him.  He's had more backing than any other manager in Saints history - the question is "can he deliver?"