League 1 Match 41 - Southampton 1 Bristol Rovers 0

Johnno practices sliding the ball off of his face.

 After the Rochdale defeat and the using up of one of our games in hand, we now faced relegation threatened Bristol Rovers. Strange things happen when we play Bristol Rovers like us winning 4-0 at their place and the manager getting sacked. I guess the strangest thing today would be if we didn’t win.

The main news of the week was the pathetic allocation we had been given for the Brentford away game as the Police said that they were worried about being able to police a large 12,000 crowd. Strange one. Dad and I went to the ticket office and handed in the form to apply for Brentford tickets. We apply more in hope than expectation as it would take a miracle and a load of incorrectly filled in forms for us to get lucky as we haven’t been away all season. I can’t believe there will be about 5000 empty seats and in fact there won’t as there will be a load of Saints in the Brentford end. If the Police were worried about the crowd control then they’re going to have a lot more to worry about as a result of their decision. Idiots.

Back to today and as kick off approached, it was nice to see a decent away following in the ground and it was clear that a few of our ‘missing 10,000’ had made the trip as well. The sun was shining and even the paper towel dispensers in the Gents, were populated with paper towels. The much anticipated return of Adam Lallana didn’t happen and given our lack of width at Spotland, it was a bit worrying to see both The Gulyman and Johnno Pace in the starting line up, neither of whom are wingers. Dicko moved to left back and Butters and Richardson swapped over again with the former getting the start in a scenario which is a bit like when Shilton and Clemence played alternate games for England in the late 70s. Chaplow returned from missing the Rochdale game to add baldness to the bench. Someone notices that there is a female linesperson and it all goes a bit Andy Gray amongst the older residents of the Kingsland Rest Home Stand which is fitting as it is non other than Sian Massey, the lino at the centre of the storm.

The game starts and the Whining Idiot Chuckle brother moans when Sir Rickie doesn’t win the first header and then again when Stephens (I think) commits the first foul. Two moans in three minutes or one every 90 seconds. It’s a lightening pace to start off at – can he keep it up for the full 90?

Ignoring him for a second, Johnno is on the left with Guly on the right. From the first time Rovers get the ball it is obvious that Johnno doesn’t have much idea where he is supposed to be from a defensive point of view as he handed a runner over to Dickson who was already marking someone. Player Manager Campbell eventually finds himself in space but his shot is blocked by a flying Portuguese man of war.

Saints are a bit shaky and the ball gets played over the top to Kuffour who is a least 5 yards offside which the linesman would have seen if he’d been anywhere near up with play. The flag stays down and Superkelv comes flying out to block the airshot as Kuffour swings and misses. I can confirm that this was the male linesman.

Saints finally string something together on 15 minutes as Barnard comes left and chips in a superb cross which is met on the volley by the Gulyman and with three quarters of SMS on its feet, Gas keeper Logan throws a foot at it and kicks it away at the near post. Great effort, great save.

The referee Mr Whitestone has obviously got tired of 23,000 people watching the football and decides to make 23,000 watch him instead as Stephens gets totally trashed with a tackle which is nowhere near the ball and totally pre-meditaded, which was deemed not bad enough for a booking. In that one second he gave the signal that everyone could kick lumps out of eachother and it was just a case of who got hacked down next. Dickson was the unfortunate recipient of a really crap late tackle and then the moron got his book out. From then on it was stop-start where for 20 minutes, tackling wasn’t allowed and a free kick was given every time there was a challenge.

Trying to take the attention away from the ref was Danny Butterfield who treated us to five consecutive misplaced passes in a row, every single one being greeted with universal moaning from a hell of a lot of people. He got out of the rut by collecting a superb Dicko cross which no one had attacked and swinging it back in to Johnno Pace who had a free header from six yards. From the way that the header slid off his face, down onto ground and onto the bar – we can assume that heading is not a Johnno Pace strong point.

Lee Barnard is a 100% trier which endears him to the fans but he does have an annoying streak in him and it surfaced again on the half hour as he had a dive in the Rovers box. To be fair he didn’t appeal but it all kicked off which players getting his face and it forced the whistling muppet to take action which he duly did with both Barney and Player Manager Campbell getting booked.

The big man had a problem and Radhi has to go off to be replaced by Dan Seaborne who suddenly became the creative outlet for the side with everyone flooding him with the ball. As Hammond and Stephens were not making themselves available for a pass, guess what happened, Boom... From one such hoof, the ball was heading out to Johnno Pace and as it sailed over his head, he stuck up and arm and caught it. Linesman (Female) flagged as it wasn’t out of play, Johnno got booked and everyone went nuts at the ref. Though I don’t like defnding the berk, he had to book him as the rules state that a deliberate handball is a booking. Though it was stupid and harmless and Johnno obviously thought the ball was out, it was deliberate and therefore he had to get booked. Referees are not allowed to have common sense.

Half time arrived and though we’d played ok and created a few chances, it was going to take more than that against a determined Gas side who had parked the bus a bit. I assume this is not the Nigel Adkins party Bus. The moan count from the Whining Bastard stood at 20. 20 separate moans in 45 minutes so one every two and a bit minutes in a really whiny voice. I may move my season ticket next year.

The second half started at a much faster pace and a clearly fired up Deano picked up a booking for one of those Wotton tackles that was so late it was nearly Sunday. Then started the procession towards the Rovers goal with Johnno pace playing a neat 1-2 with Sir Rickie before poking wide from about 8 yards. At this point, call it blind optimism if you like but I was totally convinced that we were going to score.

That confidence took a bit of a knock five minutes later when following another Dickson surge to the line and cross, Barney went up for a header and landed awkwardly to depart on a stretcher. At least there were no flashing blue lights this time. He was replaced with David Connolly who again, had been given a day pass from the Holmes and Connolly Suite of the SFC Rehabilitation Centre.

More chances came and went as it became like the Alamo. Connolly worked some space and hung up a superb cross which Sir Rickie managed to head over from about 7 yards. He had to clamber all over a defender to get to it but he still should have scored. Then Butters put over a beauty which took out the keeper and landed beyond the far post on Johnno Pace’s head and unsurprisingly, he headed it in the wrong direction, choosing backwards instead of going for the gaping goal.

Johnno could have had three goals but he had none and was replaced with Dany N’Guessan. Personally I would have taken the Gulyman off as he wasn’t doing much and at least Johnno was getting into position to miss. Sir Rickie had another shot which fizzed just wide. Tick tock, tick tock, 80 minutes gone… still confident.

The breakthrough finally came on 82 minutes when the improving Stephens fed Sir Rickie who slipped a neat ball through to The Gulyman who took it in his stride, gave it some severe Samba rhythm as he danced round two players before smashing it past Logan for a superb finish and thus the SMS faithful heaved a huge sigh of relief and the ones near me even stopped moaning for a bit.

The Gas threw on two subs up front who looked lively but they were never going to get back into it though there was one offside call (well spotted Sian) which caused a few heart flutters. The last meaningful action of the game was Sir Rickie feeding in N’Guessan who smashed a powerful left foot shot which Logan tipped over to continue the annoyingly good game he was having.

Final whistle and phew!!! It was a close run thing but as I said, from about 60 minutes onwards, I was 100% confident that we would score even if I would have substituted the goalscorer when Forte went off. Shows how much I know. Whilst I’m showing how much I know, assuming Barnard is out next week, I’d start with Connolly and then bring on Johnno when Connolly gets tired / injured. I thought Connolly was superb when he came on today, showing better movement and more intelligence than virtually every other player in this league aside from Paul Wotton. A mention too, for Dany N’Guessan who, despite being pronounced Na-Goosen by the bloke next to me, proved how much better it is to have some natural width in the team. Fair play to Bristol Rovers who made it difficult for us and with the spirit of their team and their excellent fans backing, I hope they stay up.

Maybe it was the tension as we get down to the nuts of the season but I really noticed today how much some people moan. I’m not talking about the Whiny Cluless Chuckle Brother Twat who sits behind me, I mean he’s got something seriously wrong with him but there were loads today. Bloody hell, it isn’t going to be easy is it?

My Adkins Bingo card showed that he said ‘chipping away’ four times in his post match interview. There was no mention of ‘Bus’, or ‘in the building’ which I hope will be saved for the end of season promotion party when he can use all the Adkins-isms in one sentence. In fact, if there are any players reading (I strongly suspect that there isn’t). I want to hear a player do an interview where they say ‘simple as that’, ‘its about winning games of football’, ‘listen’, ‘shut him down’ as well as the others mentioned here. Slightly more importantly, it sounds like Lallana will be fit for next week and I guess we’ll learn more about Barnard and Big Radhi in the coming days.

As it turns out, a draw today would have been a disaster as Huddersfield managed to win at Charlton and Peterborough came back from a goal down to win 2-1 v Plymouth who irritatingly, managed to miss a penalty in the last minute. Brighton duly won at Walsall to confirm that they are the Champions though it was interesting that they didn’t get the trophy at Walsall – they’ll get it at their next home game which is next Saturday... against Southampton. Hopefully they will be in party mood and not be 100% on it – hopefully they will get the trophy before the game and wind everyone up. What I know is that it would send some signal if we managed to be the first team to win there this season.

Today (Monday) saw the announcement of the League 1 Team of the Year which is bizarrely lopsided in our favour with 5 of our players in it and only 3 from Brighton who are currently 16 points ahead of us. This is voted for by the League 1 players (which will be lost on many Brighton fans I’m sure) and it’s a bit embarrassing. We may have the individuals but it’s a team game I guess. Anyway, well done to Kelvin Davis, Dan Harding, Jose Fonte, Adam Lallana and Alex Chamberlain. Now the Brighton fans will have even more reason not to like us.

5 games to go, 12 points needed.

League 1 Match 3 - Bristol Rovers 0 Southampton 4

The now 'Limited Edition' Guly shirt.

My word, an away game…. and a nice one for us as it was at Bristol Rovers where we won twice last year. In the second one of those wins, we battered them 5-1 and hopefully that result would still be in their minds as we could do with a repeat. Of course, Sir Rickie was returning to his former club and you know what always happens when a striker returns. Also, Rovers have a defence as reliable as Pompey’s finances and have let in something like 15 goals already this season so after one point from two home matches, the season has to start here really.

To the teams and Saints are unchanged from the Bolton game, meaning that deservedly, Aaron Martin keeps his place. Onto the subs bench went Guly do Prado who has mercifully seen the light and had ‘DO PRADO’ put on his shirt instead of ‘GULY’, ‘TESTICLE’ or ‘BOLLOCK’. the GULY shirt he was holding up for the website picture is now I assume, a collectors item. I’m listening to Uncle Dave Merrington on Radio Solent and as the frequencies are split and the Skates re-tune to a less desirable frequency, I find myself at St Mary’s with my kids, buying tickets for the JPT game on Tuesday. Did you know that they went to charge £10.50 for a car parking space for that game. I shit ye not – you can park in the centre of London for that. Anyway…

Whilst I was reeling from being offered a gold plated parking space, Sir Rickie rode a tackle and smashed a shot narrowly wide of the near post. The kids and I (with radio earpiece in) are around the front of SMS when Puncheon whips in a corner and Jose Fonte gets in front of his man to put Saints in front. I punch the air and do a little dance, my kids wonder what I’m on and Ted Bates stands, smiles and waves.

It’s all Saints and we’re failing to score a second and Rovers have a chance when a header comes in from a corner and Superkelv pulls off one of those saves that makes you forgive all the ‘nailed to the goal-line stuff’. It’s a turning point though as on the half hour, Hammond lines up a blockbuster, takes a massive swing and scuffs it along the ground right into the path of Lallana who is 6 yards out, onside and with no one near him. 2-0.

The second half starts and is barely two minutes old when Lallana’s knee has packed up again and he’s replaced by Ryan Dickson. Dickson takes all off ten minutes to make an impression as he picks up puncheon’s overhit cross on the left and returns it into the middle, where Lee Barnard tries to shield it with his back to goal, only for a Gas defender to cart him up in the air in extremely amateurish fashion. Sir Rickie, botton left, 3-0, Game. Over. He said he wouldn’t celebrate and he didn’t.

Dickson is having a great impact on the left wing and skins his man before pulling back to Sir Rickie who with the whole goal to aim at, hammers is straight back towards Dickson to give the Gas fans something to chuckle about. No matter though as we’re about to have a Brazilian as Guly warms up. First Brazilian in 116 years quotes Uncle Dave but it’s a dummy and he sits down again. Rovers fashion a rare chance for themselves as Sawyer conjures up a dipping volley from the left wing which everyone stood and watched as it pinged off of the bar on the far side.

We are needing some Guly and we don’t get it – we get David Connolly coming on for Sir Rickie – still not firing on all cylinders but getting there. We have to wait until the last five minutes for the moment we’ve all been waiting for, now that the game has been won and which player would be kicked in the Guly’s. Come in Mr Schneiderlin, your time is up. Deano immediately gives the new arrival the ball and he gets caught in possession – welcome to League 1.

Uncle Dave forgets all about the other players on the pitch and just does Guly-watch for five minutes which is actually quite good and also gives the impression that he was involved throughout when ‘tackling back like Patrick Vieira’ and ‘getting annoyed when Connolly had a shot instead of teeing him up’. Sounds promising.

Our best palyer this season has of course been Lee Barnard but as we know, he hasn’t scored. This was sorted out in the 94th minutes to send everyone home happy as Punch cut infield, fed Hammond who helped it on first time to Barnard who crashed it into the net. Nice finish and a nice way to end the game and get the league season up and running.

Isn’t it nice to win a game and win it well and especially as it was away from home against a side expected to finish in the top 10. It sounds to me like Bristol Rovers were almost beaten before they started today as a result of us beating them 5-1 last season and didn’t really put up much of a fight. If teams are beaten before they start against us then that’s great. The one worry is of course Lallana’s injury which doesn’t sound like it’s going to go away on its own without a longish layoff. Ryan Dickson I’m sure will prove to be an able deputy if that scenario does indeed occur. We also have Heather Mills who can slot in there as well as well as the walking waste of space that is Lee Holmes.

Uncle Dave was talking about Sir Rickie after the match saying that he hoped Lambert doesn’t take it for granted and that he keeps his work rate up and stays fit – basically implying that he’s a fat lad who may rest on his laurels. Personally, I think Dave’s talking shite on this one. For starters, Lambert doesn’t seem like the Billy Big Bollocks type to think he doesn’t have to train too hard and secondly, he’s been injured and missed a load of pre-season. Also – being 29 he must know that whilst time is not running out, he needs to really be playing in the Championship next season which will only be achieved by hard work and him scoring loads of goals for us this season.

Next up we are defending our trophy. It’s our trophy Swindon and you’re not having it and I expect us to have a near-as-dammit full side out with maybe only Lallana missing. It will of course be interesting to see if Guly do Prado starts and I think that maybe David Connolly may get a run out in place of Barnard.

Having spent the duration of the game driving my kids to various parks and shops around town, I was heading home at 5pm and drove past St Mary’s as the radio was telling me that Saints had won 4-0 and Pompey were bottom of the Championship. Ted Bates smiled and waved as we went by.

League 1 Match 41 - Bristol Rovers 1 Southampton 5

"Get me in Red and White, Now !!!"

In the time since our win on Saturday against Charlton, I have taken some stick for being stuck in a time warp and accidentally writing that Bristol Rovers play at Twerton Park still. I apologise for that, as it was a bit amateurish, mainly because today I’m really worried about that Rickie Lambert who plays for them, big lad, funny accent, scores goals for fun. He’s formed a dangerous partnership with Paul Randall and if they get it together, Eastville will be really rocking. I’m showing my age now. Quiz question – what to Paul Randall and Rickie Lambert have in common… answers at the end.

Of the six games we have left, this, on paper, is the most difficult. It’s one win apiece so far this season with the away team winning 3-2 both times. It was being billed in the local media as a bit of a playoff decider which of course, as is most of the local media, deep fried bollocks. The winners today would be rumbling on with an outside chance of making the playoffs but the losers would be playing meaningless pre-season friendlies from now until the end of the season.

Pards played the same team as started against Charlton with Jason Puncheon in the hole, behind Sir Rickie. Dan Seaborne kept his place despite being as dodgy as you like last week and the 7 subs were also unchanged.

Saints came flying out of the traps and Antonio was first to go close as Andersen in the Rovers goal kept him out. Sir Rickie was destined to score today and it was just a case of when but his first effort was a header from a Puncheon corner which flew over which was followed by another Punch cross which a defender tried to scoop into his own net, only to be spared a place on the next Danny Baker video by a decent save from his own keeper.

In what was possibly Rovers first visit to our penalty area, Kuffour flopped to the floor in the presence of Fonte who really had no need to make any sort of challenge and got awarded a soft looking penalty which was duly despatched by Jeff Hughes for 1-0. Well, it had taken a little longer than usual but at least we were familiar with the situation we now found ourselves in. Having undeservedly found themselves in front, Rovers had a spell of pressure with crooner of renown Andy Williams firing wide and then Jo Kuffour giving us all brown trousers by smashing a shot against the post. Saints were having efforts on goal too though so if was never as if we were getting battered.

As we approached half time it looked like we would be going in 1-0 down despite playing well but enter Sir Rickie. Firstly, he rose to thump (with his head) in a Punch cross for 1-1 and almost straight from the restart, Saints ended up with a free-kick 25 yards out and central. Before the kick was taken, Radio Merrington commented that it looked like the keeper was standing in the wrong place and then bang, 2-1 Saints, Sir Rickie again. You could be fair to the keeper and mention that it did take an almighty kick off of the ground in front of the keeper but that would be taking away from the fact that Andersen looked a right clown as it fizzed through him. One nil… and you fucked it up. Two goals for Sir Rickie and no big celebration, just like Dean Hammond at Brighton and Dan Harding against Leeds, not.

Having re-written his half time team talk in the minute or so before the half time whistle, Pards sent the team out fired up for some more in the second half and following ten minutes of nondescript nothing much, Antonio then barged his way down the right and the ball broke to Punch who delivered it to Morgan Schneiderlin to have another go at ‘How far will I miss by this week?’. Unbelieveably, he took the option that he’d never taken before and actually smashed it in the net with a lovely dipping half volley to make it 3-1 and spark an outbreak of players jumping on eachother, as they all had bets on Morgan to score at some point in his life at odds of 500-1. Expect a raft of children called Morgan to be born in the Princess Anne in nine months.

There was the odd sporadic threat from Rovers but they were a beaten side and it was no surprise when Lallana got on the end of yet another Puncheon pass before stepping inside a defender and passing it in to make it 4-1 and minutes later it was 5-1 as Punch supplied the finish himself having mazied to the edge of the box. Five one away from home – what the fuck is going on?

Subs came on with Waigo, Barnard and Connolly for Puncheon, Lambert and Antonio and the rest of the game petered out as Rovers opted for damage limitation and Saints had done enough. It was heart warming that the whole ground rose to applaud Sir Rickie off as he headed for the bath and this showed a touch of class from the Gasheads and fair play to them. Usually you’d think a centre forward wouldn’t want to come off when he had two goals but somehow I don’t think he’d be too bothered this time.

Five fucking one – who’d have believed that? Unreal. Considering we were the width of a post of being 2-0 down at one stage as well, it just shows how quickly things can turn around. Bristol Rovers had a few chances but in the second half were quite simply blown away and there were more chances for Saints than I managed to mention in this report. Man of the match was Jason Puncheon who today had a hand in all five goals. He also set up the goal v Charlton despite not having a particularly good match and played the scoring pass for all 3 goals v Hartlepool recently. He picks up undeserved criticism from people like the SMS Chuckle Brothers because he often loses the ball but if you remember, a certain Matt le Tiss was like that but when it mattered, he delivered and so does Punch. It’s all about balance and if you have Lallana, Antonio and Punch trying to be creative all game, this is fine as long as Hammond and Schneiderlin are going the dirty work and not giving the ball away. It was great to see Morgan finally score and what a goal to break your duck with.

Again we have to look at the other results and Colchester lost at Charlton as expected and Huddersfield beat Walsall at home which was also expected. Of course, that only tells half the story of that particular game as Huddersfield were 2-0 up and Walsall were down to 10 men. As we entered the 90th minute, Walsall were 3-2 up and managed to fucking lose 4-3. Consequently, the gap is still 8 points and we have a game in hand. We all know that all we can do is win our own games but at 90 minutes it was looking like 5 points with a game in hand, then it was 6 and then seconds later, 8. Bollocks. Still, no point in moping about after a 5-1 away win at one of your closest rivals.

As for The Gas – they may have been better turning up at Twerton Park after all. In all seriousness though, I remember what it was like seeing Alan Shearer play for Blackburn or Newcastle against Saints and it was hard to take, especially when he scored against us. A vast majority of players move on but it’s harder to accept when it’s your centre forward who used to have you pogoing around the ground on a regular basis every time he smashed one in the net. Not quite the same if you’ve just sold Emile Heskey I grant you. Sir Rickie’s two goals changed the game today and that’s the difference a good centre forward makes – you always have a chance. Rovers have done remarkably well to be where they are in the league having not really replaced him as far as I can see. The next question is will he leave us in the summer? I genuinely don’t think so and I don’t think he’d want to go unless it was Everton or Liverpool who came in having been impressed by his 15 goals for England in the World Cup including a hat-trick in the Final against Brazil.

Next up for Saints is Yeovil Town – of course, we should win but if we do, I bet we’ll have gone 1-0 down first.

Quiz answer(s) – both played for Bristol Rovers, both Scousers, both scored winning goals v Saints in the FA Cup. If you got all that and you’re not a Gashead, you should see a Doctor.

FA Cup 1st Round - Bristol Rovers 2 Southampton 3

R.I.P.

At the start of the season, if someone had asked me to rank the competitions in order of relevance for Saints, I'd have said League, Johnstone Paints Trophy, FA Cup, Carling Cup. Ranking the JPT above the FA Cup is sacrilege of the highest order but lets face it, we have as much chance of winning the FA Cup as Pompey have of winning the 'Best Run Football Club' award.

I love the FA Cup – it's fantastic because we won it very soon after I started taking an interest in football but also because of the upsets, the fact it's an open draw with no seeding and all that stuff, the fact that it's a one off game, the fact that a lower league team can still get to the final etc etc. We got to the final ourselves in 2003, helped by favourable home draws in every round and all the big boys knocking eachother out. Compare and contrast with the Champions League where Liverpool this year, for example, have been abysmal and have only won one match out of 4 but still have a decent chance of qualifying for the next round. When is there ever a semi-finalist you don't expect… can't have the big boys getting knocked out as in the words of Abba, it's all about Money, Money Money in a rich mans' world. The FA Cup – one bad performance and out you go…. It's better and it's how it should be.

The draw for the first round this year could have been a bit kinder as we got Bristol Rovers away. Since they inflicted our last defeat however, they're form has been abysmal so I'm not expecting a cup exit tonight. Saints have been deprived of the services of Neal Trotman who has been prevented from being cup tied by Preston and we also cannot call on Jacob Mellis for the same reason as Chelsea don't want him cup tied which is odd. Mellis won't play for Chelsea in the FA Cup this season as long as he has a hole in his ass but it suggests to me that he'll be on loan at a Championship club when January and the 3rd Round comes rolling round. As it stands, I won't miss him.

To the game and Pards has decided to go with the 4-4-2 formation which has finished the recent games we've had and been successful. This is a move that will obviously find favour with all the armchair managers who all know what's best. Michail Antonio (now ours until January) and David Connolly get starts with Papa Waigo and Paul Wotton dropping to the bench. The unavailable Trotters has been replaced by Wayne Thomas as we have to keep our 'big ugly bastard' quota up.

I've got my usual Friday night match farce to look forward in order to keep in touch with the match. This involves text messages, internet text commentary, chucking money in an internet machine at Dublin airport and not finding out about the second half at all until the plane (hopefully) lands back in Southampton. I've got a pocket full of euros and I'm throwing them in the machine, logging onto Saints 'Player' and listening in to the live commentary…. and it sounds dull. Bristol Rovers are doing all the majority of the attacking and the commentators in true Radio Solent style, all go 'oooooooooh and Lallana heads over the bar'. Yep… wasn't Lallana at all but Dean Hammond.

Anyway, half time approaches and I hear 'Will the one remaining passenger for flight BE389 to Southampton, please come to the gate'. Oh dear… off I go. The second half kicks off as the reception dies and I'm alone with my thoughts on a 120 seater plane with about 40 people on it. For the hell of it really, I try to tune in the radio on my MP3 player to see if it can pick anything up… surprisingly it can but only Radio 2 who must have a massive audience, 24,000 feet up over the Irish Sea. Ten minutes later, the Captain speaks, saying we are just passing over Bristol…. I wonder…. A quick re-tune of the radio and …. Sod all.

Half an hour later. Jesus Christ we're winning 3-0 courtesy of Connolly twice and Antonio. I'm immediately thinking of the fact that Pards seems to have the golden touch regarding his selections though I'm a bit concerned to read that Gobern has replaced Harding at left back. Gobern is Bambi and a passable midfielder but I guess that if you can't throw a player in when you're 3-0 up with 20 to go then when can you. Gobern out of position, cross, goal, 3-1… Hmmmm, no worries. 91 minutes, Gobern tangles with a forward, penalty, 3-2.

Final whistle…. Phew!!!
Whatever way you look at it, it's a good win and we're through to the next round and that's all that matters. Due to the fact that I've been a bit slow in getting this blog entry together, we all know that we've been drawn away to Northampton in the 2nd Round so whilst a home tie would have been preferable, we should be able to make it to Round 3 and have a chance to have a crack at one of the big boys, or Pompey if they're still in existence by then. Northampton had Stuart Gray in charge when we played them in the Carling Cup in August – needless to say, he isn't there now as he kept up his average management appointment length of 4 matches.

The other positive from this match is of course, the form of David Connolly who has now played approximately 180 minutes for Saints and scored 4 goals. Michail Antonio is currently looking the like the player that Nathan Dyer might have been for us if he'd had a brain and it'll be interesting to see how this one plays out if he stars from now until the January transfer window. At present, he seems surplus to requirements at Reading but maybe they'll want him back to fly down the wing and then stop and wait ten minutes to allow Rasiak to get in the box.

We have another cup game coming up on Wednesday night with Charlton the visitors in the Johnstone Paints Trophy. This is the same Charlton who've just been knocked out the FA Cup by Northwich Victoria from the Midlands Ansells Bitter Sunday League Division 8. The magic of the FA Cup…. Love it

League 1 Match 10 - Southampton 2 Bristol Rovers 3

Patience is a virtue. When Rickie Lambert signed for Saints, I had a quick look on Bristol Rovers message boards and it seemed that the Gasheads world had come to an end. They had lost their main goalscorer and had no replacement. The Chairman should go and the manager should go and everything was bad. A quick glance at the league table shows that they have managed to find a life after Lambo and are currently sitting in 3rd place, 21 places above the big bad Saints.

All the talk in the build up from the Saints camp had been of the prospect of two home games in a week and a chance to get in positive points and start aiming to move up the table. Jaidi, Lambert and Pardew had all been saying this but disappointingly, no one had said ‘we want to get to one before the Skates’. Team news saw Joseph Mills return to the bench with Papa Waigo getting his first start up front with Lallana moving to the left of midfield. Lloyd James and Jacob Mellis made up an impressive and creative looking right hand side.

I’m missing my first home League game of the season as I’m working in Dublin, so my dad has got my ticket and is taking one of his pensioner mates to the game meaning that SFC are getting a pensioner on a full price seat and I hope Markus and Nicola appreciate that. I will be ringing the old man at half time to find out what’s going on so I can fill in the blanks between my BBC text updates on my mobile phone which over the course of the evening, will be costing me a fortune in roaming charges.

I’m hitting ‘refresh’ with abandon throughout the half, in the knowledge that I won’t be able to pay my mortgage this month once I get my mobile bill. It’s all worthwhile as I read that Lallana has been set up by Lambert for 1-0. It’s not so worthwhile when I see that Chris Dickson has made it 1-1.

As I said, I rang the old man at half time and my mum answers it. The pillock has left his mobile at home so I’m none the wiser as to who is the better side etc.

The second half stars and we’re flying at the by the sound of it and soon enough it’s 2-1 as Lambert sets up WAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLL !!!!!!!!! If I was writing the BBC Text , it would say ‘Goal by Papa Waigo who does a stupid dance’. Later it transpires that it’s not his goal at all but Lambert’s as his header was already over the line so Waigo has now done two goal dances at SMS, one when he wasn’t playing and another when someone else scored. I’m assuming that we’re on our way now and am anticipating a 3-1 win. However, Bristol Rovers and Jo Kuffour have other ideas as he makes it 2-2 in the 65th minute.

The text updates have stopped at 93 minutes. I haven’t given up hope if a win but the realist in me is saying that we’re not going to get a late goal for the 2nd game running. What I was not expecting was a 95th minute text to say that Bristol Rovers had snatched it in the last minute. Deflated, gutted, you name it. Not only are we still on negative points but the ‘hard to beat’ aura that we had been building up had gone. Not only that, it was of course our first home defeat of the season and he defence that I thought was going to be really solid has shipped three goals at home. Not a good night.

So, a few steps forward and then a great big welly in the nuts. I’ll not be reading the message boards tonight but in the words of the Kaiser Chiefs, I Predict a Riot. Calm is what we need but more importantly, we need to win big time on Saturday. Bring on Gillingham, still on -1, patience is still a virtue.

Lambo, First Blood

It has become an increasing annoyance to me but no surprise that many Saints fans were already complaining that thing weren't moving fast enough. We have "only" signed two free transfers and "we've not spent any money" being the most common complaints. Well, we've just paid £1m-ish for Rickie Lambert from Bristol Rovers... a proven goalscorer in this Division (29 last year). Fantastic, I'm chuffed as nuts with this.

Lambo (as he will surely become known) was a player mentioned by many but there was no definite link to him and then there he was, holding up the shirt. I like the way that Alan Pardew operates in that he identifies a position where we're short and then fills it (rather than the Burley method of identifying that we need a centre back and then buying a midfielder) but equally, I like the way the new regime operate in that they obviously back his judgement. Welcome aboard Rickie.... I'm gutted that I miss your debut through work.

At last, a proper centre forward... the first since James Beattie.