Premier League Match 35 - Leicester 2 Southampton 0

Rambo and Vardy Discuss Not Being in their Respective Shitshows Next Season

Leicester got promoted to the Premier League last season and a blaze of arrogance and a belief that even though Enzo Maresca had left (they didn’t like him much anyway), that they would adapt with no problem to the Premier League and finish around mid-table. Maresca‘s replacement was the experienced Steve Cooper and he had the Foxes in about 16th place but this wasn’t enough and the fans all kicked off, which seemed to sit in motion the series of events that led to him being relieved of his duties. Replacing Cooper may not have been the wrong decision but appointing Ruud van Nistelrooy certainly was.  Big name though, isn’t it?

Apart from the fact they got relegated not long after us, the main feature of Ruud’s tenure has been the fact that it is nine home games since they last scored a goal. I remember us going five home games without a goal under Claude Puel at the end of his tenure and ironically, he then went to Leicester after we’d sacked him.  It is very much the usual state of affairs for any player who has a long run without a goal or any team who has a long run without winning, to welcome to Southampton with open arms. We will see. Leicester‘s form has arguably been worse than ours over the past couple of months, but they are still seven points ahead of us and even if we win today, we are not going to catch them.

Leicester of course won the Championship last season and they beat us twice, very convincingly. This season at St Mary’s we were comfortably ahead until we got our first case of referee wanker and VAR shambles. 2-1 one up with 20 minutes to go and Anthony Taylor was an unobstructed five yards away, looking directly at Jordan Ayew hitching a ride on Tall Paul’s shirt for a good five seconds, and he didn’t give it and VAR didn’t either. Absolute fucking joke and a few minutes later we had lost the game. The main architect of us losing that game, apart from Anthony Taylor in the VAR, was Russell Martin who brought Will Smallbone on in the centre of midfield and Ryan Fraser on the left-hand side to help Ryan Manning deal with the threat of Abdul Fatawu, who had scored a hat-trick the previous time he played against him. That particular rematch which Russell set up, totally fucked us in that game so, we have lost the last three games against Leicester, but we might even be going into this game as favourites, especially as Leicester have four injuries from last week with Hermansen, Perreira, Docordova Reed and Buononotte all missing.

Leicester were of course, very very dodgy financially in the year they got promoted along with us from the Championship, and that may well be the case that the EFL are waiting with some charges when they get relegated. They got away with their financial impropriety by basically arguing with the Premier League that they had no jurisdiction because they committed the offences whilst in the Championship. Having used that defence, surely they are admitting that they committed offences in the Championship.  One thing they have done to possibly try and add some of this off is released their highest earner with Jamie Vardy having just four games left for Leicester which means he has four games to get the two goals he needs to make it 200 in a Foxes shirt and as I said earlier, which opposition do you want to play when you are desperately seeking a goal? No one really seems to know whether Vardy is being released or whether he is leaving of his own accord or whether he is retiring. One issue which you may wish to consider if he decides to retire is that he will have to spend more time at home and for a number of reasons, I can’t imagine he’d want that.

The vultures have started circling around our players, or have they… or is it the silly season and agents are getting busy… or is it that people are just making up shit for clicks. Jan Bednarek apparently has a £6 million release clause, which is a strange thing for someone to casually drop into a conversation. Needless to say, there are a lot of our players who I don’t give a shit about, with regards to whether they stay or go (https://leagueoneminus10.blogspot.com/2025/04/the-great-l1-10-player-review-of-202425.html).

Team news and we are unchanged, so Ross Stewart starts again, with Tall Paul on the bench.  Other news is that we’ve got another virgin referee, with David Webb doing his first Premier League game.  I wonder if he’ll get a trophy with El Crappico written on it.

There’s an early Leicester chance, gifted to them by the linesman not noticing a clear hand in the back of Ryan Manning but McAteer’s cross avoids everybody at the far post and drifts out of play.  Saints then begin to look like the better side in the early stages with a corner coming in from Fernandes which is met by THB and headed down powerfully down but saved by the Leicester keeper with the unpronounceable name.

Vardy Is Amazed by the Amount of Space He's Got

Much had been made of Leicester’s non-scoring at home but then the inevitable happened on 15 minutes as they neatly move the ball neatly down the right, playing a 1-2 around the outnumbered KWP and the ball comes in from El Khannouss and Vardy is completely unmarked by all three of our central defenders and smashes it into the roof of the net from about ten yards.  Fucking joke defending.  Three centre backs and he’s all alone.

Five minutes later and Jordan Ayew manages to run past the debutant referee and smash him in the side of the head with his .Vardy takes the role of chief shithouse and blows the whistle which is in the prone referees hand. Never a dull moment.   Can we abandon the game as a draw?  The referee is clearly fucked and is looking to be spared from watching the rest of the game.

The Closest THB Got To a Leicester Player All Afternoon

Ten minutes go by,  a new referee found in Samuel Barrott, which takes ages because of all the pissing about with the technology that makes the game worse.  The game restarts and Saints are still horrendous with Jack Stephens giving the ball away with a five yard pass straight to a Leicester player and he then smashes a back pass at Ramsdale that’s impossible to control, and it bounces off for a corner.  Stephens then gives the ball away again in midfield and Fernandes brings down El Khannouss about twenty yards out.  Ayew’s free kick is shit and straight into the wall, but bounces back to him and he drills it straight into the net . It’s lucky in that it’s bounced straight back to him but it’s a good finish. We, on the other hand are fucking embarrassing.

The rest of the first half is shit.  We work ourselves into a decent crossing position with KWP on the right hand side, and we have our 6 foot 3 forward in the middle but we don’t cross it of course, we go back to the halfway line.  It’s absolutely enraging.  What are you waiting for, the perfect fucking goal?  Leicester meanwhile get McAteer in on our left but he drills it at Ramsdale rather than trying to cross it and then El Khannouss easily beats THB and stands up a cross which bounces off the top of the bar.

In my head I’m making four subs at half time and changing to 4-2-3-1.  Stephens has to come off, so he can recover from his big night on the lash and Dibling comes on and whilst I’d also bin off THB, Manning and Sulemana, it’s Ross Stewart who departs to be replaced with Tall Paul.  We have gone to 4-2-3-1, so that’s a positive but it won’t matter a shit if we don’t up the work rate and actually try and get to ball and some players into the box.

Ten minutes go by and El Khannouss then makes THB look a mug for about the tenth time today and megs him on the edge of the box before shooting over. THB has honestly been 2 out of 10 at best so far.  We finally cross the ball into the box as Sulemana gets one in from the left with his right foot and Tall Paul rises and heads it goalwards. It comes back off the keeper, hits Fernandes and bounces into the net but up goes the bastard flag.

Hi there Sammy Boy, Stockley Park here
Hi there chaps – potential offside then
Yes Sir, headed by the giant fucker who was onside
I’m sensing a but….
But at the point he headed it, Fernandes was offside and he scored after it came back off of the unpronounceable keeper.
So, no goal then.
Nope, miles off.
They’re shit aren’t they?
Oh proper shit.  Make the most of the comedy Sammy Boy cos we don’t get to do them next season.
Who are we going to blood the virgin refs against next season?
Bristol City mate – today’s virgin took a dive didn’t he?
Yes mate – ask Howard for more money. 

Another two substitutions upcoming as J-Rob comes on for Sulemana and fuck me… Smallbone is coming on for Fernandes. Fucking baffling to take off one of the players who’s actually trying and leave shit like THB and Manning on the pitch. THB because he looks like he doesn’t give a shit and Manning because he’s putting in an absolute League of Ireland performance. So, we are a team that needs more urgency and pace in it and we bring on Smallbone.  “Matty, Matty Fernandes goes the Saints end and the chant is building momentum, unlike the team.

Leicester make a substitution is to take off Ayew and bring on Jeremy Monga who is apparently 15 years old. 15 for fuck‘s sake. He’s not old enough to have the gambling sponsor on his shirt for fuck‘s sake. He’s up against Ryan Manning so at least he’ll be able to prove that he can play at League 2 level.  Fifteen to go and Fernandes chants are still going strong and Saints produce a decent break break up the left and it ends with Smallbone gets outpaced by Oliver fucking Skipp, himself named after a massive metal bin that doesn’t fucking move.

Just the four minutes of normal time pain to go through. Maybe we’ll start showing some intensity and desire to score a goal in a minute, you never know. Archer is on for Big Les in the very definition of a time-wasting substitution and Tall Pall is walking around up front, allowing Leicester to play out really easily.  Smallbone is now in a deeper midfield position, dictating the pace the only pace he knows. Having caused outright panic and having a goal disallowed after a cross into the mixer, twenty five minutes ago, we finally try another and THB’s ball sees Tall Paul cause chaos and win a corner.  In it comes and another Paul header deflects wide.  93, 94 and thank fuck that’s over.  Wankers.

At the start of that game, we looked slightly the better of two very poor sides until we conceded the opening goal, which in itself was absolutely abysmal. I have no idea where THB was but once Leicester played the 1-2 around KWP, THB as the right sided centre back should’ve been out there covering but he was fucking nowhere so Bednarek tracked across and Stephens tracked across but neither of them picked up Vardy, who smashed it in from about 10 yards. Three central defenders, one striker and he is completely unmarked about ten yards out. Fucking embarrassing.

The incident with a referee getting knocked out then gave us the excuse to be absolutely shit for the rest of the first half.  I think it’s quite possible that the distance our players were covering and the effort they were putting in, didn’t actually go down whilst the referee was unconscious.   Once we restarted it was soon 2-0 and we basically give up.  Yes, Jordan Ayew got a bit lucky with the shite free kick bouncing back to him, but that was it as far as we were concerned.  No urgency, no plan of how to get a goal, bizarre substitutions, absolute fucking shit. I nearly forgot, we did one thing in the second half, which was to bang in a cross from deep to our 6 foot 8 centre forward and we nearly scored from it. Did it occur to anyone else to do more of that after that goals got disallowed? Did it fuck? That would’ve been common sense.

The Average Pace Stays the Same to the End.

There was a basic malaise, apathy and lack of effort about today.  If we’d put as much effort in as we did against Fulham, then we probably win this game but the basic heart and desire to play with any intensity, just wasn’t there. Wankers.  I can only assume that with the effort levels being much lower than in previous games, that there was something about the players that thought they could just turn up and win this game because Leicester have been that bad. Absolutely fucking useless.

There were some players out there who were an absolute disgrace today. THB played like he completely didn’t give a shit. Jack Stephens played like he was a Sunday morning pub player after a big one the night before.  Same old Jack – no consistency – plays well for a few games and then abysmal.  Ryan Manning put in in a League Two level performance and Sulemana was himself, buzzing around to absolutely zero effect whatsoever.  All four of those would have been gone at half time if I’d been in charge.

Simon Rusk decided it was a good idea to take off Ross Stewart, who had not been given one single ball to compete for and then compounds it by taking off Fernandes, easily our best player and one of the few who was actually visibly trying.   He then acted surprised at the reaction from the crowd.  An absolute fucking shit show from players and management from start to finish. I would excuse Ramsdale because he had no chance with either of the goals, Downes because he seemed to be fighting a lone battle out there and Fernandes of course.

Leicester were shit, but they were much better than us. We made El Khannouss look like a world beater and we allowed a 38-year-old to score against us and a 15-year-old to briefly make us look like mugs.  Someone should’ve put him over the fucking advertising boards in the first minute that he stepped onto the pitch, if only to prove that we gave a shit about them feeling that we were so shit they could bring on an actual boy. We don’t do things like that because we are a big bunch of soft arses. As usual, we had zero attacking intensity, even when we were behind and it really takes something to be embarrassing in the context of this season, but that was it.

Well that’s the end of the chances of getting more than eleven points for the rest of this season because there’s no way we’re getting anything out of the home games against Manchester City and Arsenal and Everton away will be an absolute shit show where I guarantee we will be a three down at half time.  The only thing that wasn’t apathetic about that performance today was the fans chanting for Matty Fernandes for half an hour after he’d been substituted.

Next up Manchester City, who are still chasing a Champions League spot and Erling Haaland is now fit. Oh good.

Premier League Match 8 - Southampton 2 Leicester City 3

BBC Amazed that Russell Didn't Make a Shit Substitution for the Interview

Shit just got real. From now, we can’t be dealing with decent performances for half an hour or being unlucky and not quite getting out of the line. We now have to start winning and games at home against the likes of Leicester are where we need to start winning.

We are about to embark on a four-game run which will define Russell Martin’s and Southampton‘s season with three of the games being Leicester at home, Everton at home and Wolves away – three sides who will in all likelihood be in the bottom six at the end of the season. The fourth game in the sequence is against Manchester City away so we don’t need to talk about that one. Points on the board are what is needed and I would suggest that anything less than six points from these four games and we might as well pack our bags for the Championship once more.

Leicester arrive having won their first game of the season last week at home to Bournemouth. I wonder if Bournemouth players and managers were taking the piss in the press conference afterwards? Somehow, I doubt it. It was on the face of it, very similar to our home game against Ipswich in the Leicester took the lead relatively early and arrived at the 94th minute one goal in front. Unlike us however, they got over the line and that has massively changed the perception of how the two teams have started.

We need to follow suit today and get our first win by hook or by crook. It certainly isn’t going to be easy as last year we lost about a combined nine goals to one against Leicester. A home game at St Mary‘s was a Russell Martin disaster class with an experimental team going to kneel down in the first three minutes and never recovering. Away from home we were just an absolute fucking shambles and got hammered 5-0. Last time in the Premier League against Leicester though we managed to win twice including a home win that was one of only two home wins that season.

Leicester have been underneath a financial cloud for the last couple of seasons but have managed to completely get away with overspending and breaking the pointless rules.  They didn’t seem to argue with the fact that they had overspent, they just argued that because they were in the Championship, the Premier League couldn’t do anything about it and when they were in the Premier League, the season in the Championship couldn’t be taken into account because they weren’t in the Premier League.  The lack of joined up governance between the top two divisions of football is quite staggering. We of course have been in the same division as Leicester over the last few seasons but have decided to play by the rules. I was hoping that Leicester’s points deduction would be one of the things that helped us stay up this season by hook or by crook, but we’re going to have to do it by the more conventional method of finding three teams more shit than us.  That starts with winning the game today.

On the pitch, Leicester still have a pretty strong squad– see the above paragraph for the reasons for that. Despite being under financial cloud they managed to spend £25 million on the central defender this season and Okoli is likely to play even though Vestergaard is allegedly fit again. Wilfred Ndidi is still a major player in midfield, as is Harry Winks. On the wings they have the two wingers that terrorised as last year in Stephy Mavididi and Abdul Fatawu and also have Facundo Buononotte, a loan signing from Brighton in the summer. Up front, they still have old Steptoe himself and Jamie Vardy is still a complete shit house pain in the arse even at the age of 38. You have to respect it really.

Russell Martin has hopefully spent the international break preparing for and recovering from his appearance in a charity game at St Mary‘s last Saturday and hasn’t had time to come up with some fucking weird and wacky shit to put out on the pitch this afternoon. The main interest will stem around weather Tall Paul starts the game after his impressive cameo against Arsenal. Personally, I’d like to see a front three of Paul, Cameron Archer off the left and Tyler Dibling off the right…. Bit not to be – it’s virtually the same line up as for the completely different assignment away at Arsenal.  Ryan Manning starts and the other ten pick themselves.

Here we go and a positive start as we win a corner virtually straight away. Manning swings it in left-footed and it’s a brilliant delivery and Joe Aribo rises to meet it and a combination of the goalkeeper in the crossbar keep it out before Leicester half clear it and back in to where Archer tries an overhead kick but can only scuff it wide. Fuck.

Anthony Taylor is the referee today and he makes himself knopwn to the crowd by making twat of himself for booking Ryan Manning for really next to nothing.  Three minutes later and Fernandes goes in the book as well for another debateable one.  Fernandes then tries to bring the ball out of defence and gets absolutely wiped out by Bunonotte.  Taylor gives the free-kick and decides that’s not a yellow card even though it's the worst foul dof the game so far.  Saints get on with it quickly with Downes tapping the ball to KWP and he’s away down the left. Like all good players he picks the best option and puts out wide to Manning and his first time left foot cross falls perfectly for Archer to run into the net. Get in. What a fucking start.

We soon get the ball  out KWP on the left touch line and I’m actually thinking it would be good if this was Manning with hise left foot but KWP is a different beast and pisses past James Justin and makes his way along the line before picking out the perfect pass to find Joe Aribo on the edge of the 6 yard box and he passed it into the net in almost identical fashion to the way Archer did earlier.  2-0 and surely today is the fucking day.

And It All Started So Well

Something strange has happened during the week because we win a throw near the Leicester goal line. We’ve been known to throw these all the way back to Ramsdale but today,  Sugawara hurls it in, it’s flicked on by THB and Downes hooks it goalwards and it goes through Hermansen’s legs, hits on the arse and bounces down and the keeper is very grateful to grab hold of it.

Dibling is giving Kristiansen a real hard time, as he does with most left backs this season and he pisses past him before getting to the edge of the box and being upended by Faes. Anthony Taylor for reasons known only to him, decides that that’s not a foul. 99 times out of 100 with 99 referees out of 100, that is a clear foul.   Faes then goes through the back of Cameron Archer on the halfway line and it is also not a foul.  I can’t work out if Taylor is bent or just shit but he seems to have absolutely no idea what is and what isn’t a foul.

Leicester haven’t really done much so far but as we approach half-time they begin to come into the game a little bit more with Kristiansen feeding the ball in from the left to El Khanouss in the penalty area and he curls one at the far post and it pings off the inside of the post and bounces back into play behind Ramsdale. Very fortunate but we get away with it and reach half-time two goals to the good.

It's been a great half.  2-0 up despite the referee but a long way to go of course and I can’t help but think we need a third.  Leicester bring on Harry Winks at half-time to replace Oliver Skipp who has been shit, so you would expect Leicester to be better

Nothing much changes initially and Saints are still the more dangerous side but through an unexpected source as Fernandes swings a cross into the box which is met by the diving fuzzy head of Wout Faes, who bullets are header towards his own goal and a yard either side of Hermanson and it’s 3-0, but it straight at him and he shovels it over the bar.

Jamie Vardy Rat Bastard is obviously getting frustrated with the way things that are going on so he takes the law into his own hands and puts in a very very late challenge on Sugawara which looks like a stamp from where I am and Anthony Taylor brandishes the yellow card.  He doesn’t see fit to do anything else and nor does V.A.R.

Leicester, thanks to Winks are starting to play, and a ball into the box finds Vardy who looks absolutely nailed on to score but as he shoots, Fernandes comes sliding in from nowhere and gets a block on it and we survive again.  Buononotte’s follow-up goes just wide.

Nearing the hour mark Lester bring on Abdul Fatawu, who absolutely fucking destroyed us at the King Power at the tail end of last season. Let’s hope he’s not in the mood today.  Sugawara has been struggling since the assault by Vardy and has to go off and…. What the fuck?  Ryan Fraser is coming on with KWP going over to the right and Ryan Manning to left back. So, a direct rerun of the King Power nightmare that he had against Fatawu only a few months ago.

Meanwhile – talking of nightmares, Dibling is giving Justin just that after he has switched to left back and Tyler cuts in and his shot as well saved by Hermanson down low.  However, the predicted Fatawu v Manning problem doesn’t become a reality for a whole three minutes… until the first time he gets the ball in fact, when he absolutely pisses past Fraser and Manning and fires obver a low cross and Buononotte knocks it into the net. Here we fucking go.

Downes sets up a break down there left for Wee Man and he tries to find Archer with a low cross but it bounces off him and it’s knocked away for a corner. Over it comes from Manning and there is THB at the back post all on his own but his header across his face of goal hits Faes and goes wide.

Time for another substitution and like the last one, this is similarly mind blowing as Fernandes comes off to be replaced by Smallbone, making his return from injury.  That's another complete headscratcher given that both Lallana and Big Les are on the bench. Also on for the clearly knackered Cameron Archer, is Tall Paul.

Virtually straight away there’s a corner from the left and Tall Paul is clearly having his shirt ripped off his back by Jordan Ayew, but Anthony Taylor doesn’t give it and one assumes that VAR aren’t interested either.  Another cross comes in and Paul goes for it again and this time it’s Faes who has a handful of his shirt but the fucking referee clearly isn’t giving those today.

More danger and Fatawu again completely avoids our two players on the left before smashing a shot past Ramsdale and pings off the crossbar and bounces out. Back in it comes from the other side and Fatawu is completely unmarked to power a header at Ramsdale from five yards out and he performs miracles to keep it out and we get away with it… but hang on, Rat Bastard is appealing for something and we are off to VAR.

VAR: “Hello Tone… you having a good day?”

AT: “Yes lads, victimizing the Southern Bastards, Yellow cards everywhere ha ha, nice to hear from you”

VAR: "I thought PGMOL said we were supposed to be against Leicester cos of all the financial cheating they got away with"

AT: "Yeah... but you know, I love a bit of dishonesty, me"

VAR: “Well.. we thought about asking you to review the Vardy challenge and we thought about asking you to review the shirt holding on the giant guy...”

AT: “You know the drill lads…..”

[All together] “Not enough consequence”

AT: “Exactly, now what have I missed?”

VAR: “Wee Fraser had hold of Vardy’s shirt for a microsecond”

AT: “That’ll piss them off cos I saw Ayew holding onto the giant guy’s shirt for 5 minutes – looked like a fucking water-skiier being pulled along ha ha ha”

VAR: “You’re hilarious Anthony”

AT: “I’m working my way up to be a legend like Big Mikey Dean”

VAR: “Steady on Tone, no one’s that Godlike”

AT: “ok, ok, ok… so, what we got?”

VAR: “penalty to Leicester cos we love them…. And… you’ll love this… red card to the Wee Saints player”

No Wee Man - This Shirt Pull Is a Penalty and a Red Card

Taylor leaves the monitor and comes back on the pitch and decides for the first time in the game that he is going to give something for shirt pulling and it’s a penalty to Leicester. Fucks sake, oh and Wee Man has been sent off of course because he hasn’t made an attempt to play the ball. Fuck off. It’s too much to hope for Jamie Vardy to miss and he doesn’t. Fuck. 2-2

Saints have reshuffled with now having ten men.  Aribo has been moved out to the left, leaving Smallbone and Downes in the centre of midfield with Dibling on the right. 15 minutes to go and all the momentum with Leicester.  It’s hard to tell but Smallbone looks injured but Russell Martin clearly thinks not because the next two substitutions are to take off the floundering Manning, along with Dibling and bring on Charlie Taylor fifteen minutes too late.  Oh joy, Kamaldeen Waste of of Fucking Space is on as well.

Leicester very nearly go in front when their sub Decordova-Reid mis-kicks in the box but it falls nicely to Buononotte who fires very narrowly wide. Saints have one attack breaking down the right and Suledjenepo has to use his pace and shot away but he slows down and allows Faes to get back and block it. Fucking useless.

Fatawu has been quieter since Taylor came on, probably because he’s twice the left back that Manning is (surprise surprise) but he has a run at Taylor in the 96th minute and Taylor puts in a superb tackle to knock the ball off for a corner

All we have to do, as the game ticks into the 98th minute, is to defend one more corner and we get out of here with a point.   In it comes low to the edge of the box. A swing of the foot by Jordan Ayew and it perfectly goes in between all our players and Ramsdale has very little chance to see it and can’t keep it out. We are appealing for offside but we have Sulemana stood there like a dopey bastard playing everybody onside so we’re not gonna get away with it because of that.  The end.

Saints Set Piece Coach Rocks Up at Staplewood on Monday

Fucking hell, the inevitability of that last minute winner. Absolute fucking unsurprising misery at the end of a second half which was as badly managed and as badly controlled as is possible.

So – let’s have a look at the timeline.

59 minutes -  Leicester made a substitute and bought on Abdel Fatawu, a winger who only a few months ago, scored a hat-trick as Leicester buried us 5-0 and who was marking him that day? - Ryan Manning.

62 minutes - Russell Martin had a choice to make on that side when he was forced to move KWP over to right back and what he did was bring Wee Man on and therefore moved Ryan Manning directly one-on-one against Fatawu.  To the surprise of absolutely fucking no one except for Russell Martin it seems, Fatawu tore us a completely new arsehole down that side with the defensive weakening of both the left back and the left-wing slot that happened that substitution.  Charlie Taylor was right there.
 
65 minutes - Three minutes was all it took for Fatawu to skin both Manning and Fraser and set up Buononotte for the first Leicester goal. 

68 minutes - Another shocker as Fernandes and Archer are replaced (and not Manning) and on comes Lallana – our specialist player we signed for this exact scenario… but no, instead of that we get Will Smallbone, who has to be the absolute worst player you can possibly bring on as a substitute because he doesn’t fulfil one of the basic requirements of a sub, which is to add energy.  Tall Paul is on as well.

73 minutes - Fatawu, completely unhindered by Fraser and Manning, hits the bar and then has a free header when the cross comes back in which leads to the penalty and red card.  In the reshuffle, despite him seemingly being injured (it is hard to tell admittedly), Russell moves Smallbone into central midfield and moves the excellent Aribo wide left. 

78 minutes - There are two more subs to make and Smallbone and Manning should of course come off but instead it’s Dibling and Manning for Taylor and Sulemana.  Smallbone has barely touched the ball since he came on and looks injured.
 
All leading to the 97^th minute identikit set piece goal we conceded against Ipswich.  Mark the players on the edge of the box – I should be the fucking set piece coach – thus endeth the lesson.

It seemed like self-sabotage – all of it.  So predictable setting up the Fatawu vs Manning rematch, then deciding that what we needed was Smallbone instead of Lallana or even Big Les.  Moving Joe Aribo out of the middle to accommodate him was insane, as Aribo had been our best player for the opening hour but he was rendered powerless as the Leicester midfielders used Smallbone as a training cone, putting me in mind of the famous Ibrahima Diallo substitute performance at Arsenal.   I also can’t get my head around Tyler Dibling being replaced by Sulemana, who should be about five places down the pecking order to come on in a wide area but he’s got himself fit for the first time in months so naturally, he gets on the pitch.  Needless to say, he was shit.

There will be narrative around this game to blame the referee and Anthony Taylor and VAR was undoubtedly shite but we can’t control what the referee does. We can control what we do and that was fucking dreadful.  One of Russell Martin’s biggest flaws is over rating certain players and not drawing a line under some players who are so screamingly obviously, not good enough to play in this division. Starting Ryan Manning today was madness in itself but he had a great moment when he set up the first goal but after that he barely kicked a ball in the right direction but he did keep the left side solid because in part, we had a full back behind him.  However, putting him at left back at the end of the game was an absolute travesty.  Of our starting XI, individually, you would only look at Manning and say that ‘he’s not the required standard to play in the Premier League.  Deep into erh second half we had at various times - Manning, Fraser, Smallbone, Sulemana, Tall Paul.  A lot of criticism will be going to Russell Martin and deservedly so but the bottom line is we have about ten players who are decent enough at Premier League level but by the end of that game we too many makeweights on the pitch.

Leicester in truth, were pretty average and were absolutely there for the taking and in the first half an hour we showed exactly how to play against them and if we’d kept the up or managed the game properly then it would’ve been a comfortable win. However, games last 96 minutes, which is something that we have totally failed to grasp this season, along with the fact that games have to be managed in the second half.
  
The first half was excellent as we surged into a 2-0 lead and looked relatively comfortable. The decision to start Manning on the left of midfield was a slightly mystifying one but with the first goal you saw exactly the logic behind it with KWP making a run infield and Manning being the option wide left to put the ball in with his left foot which led to Archer’s goal.  KWP of course then showed that he could do damage from that wing on his own by pissing past James Justin before teeing up Joe Aribo. We have basically lined up in a 4-4-1-1 formation and were looking solid and it looked like we were trying to get the ball into dangerous areas more than we have done previously. Long throws from both sides came in from Manning and Sugawara respectively and we nearly scored from one and at least we were making Leicester defend and they weren’t doing that terribly well.

Having said I don’t want to blame the referee too much, I’m still going to talk about it. Anthony Taylor is a massive twat and a fucking useless referee.  Shirt pulling is only allowed one way it appears and he has absolutely no fucking idea what is and what isn’t a foul – Dibling being fouled on the edge of the box when we were 2-0 was a belter of a non-decision.  Saints had four players booked for pretty minor offences in the first half whereas Wout Faes was allowed to smash through the back of Archer without even a free kick being given.  First half and Buononotte goes down, gets treated and is not made to leave the pitch for the restart. Second half and Smallbone gets treated, has to leave the pitch and has to wait to come back on, whilst we play with 9.  He then came back on and we carried on playing with 9 but that's another story.  Taylor and VAR made the decision between them to give the shirt pull on Vardy and therefore the red card to Fraser and a penalty to Leicester… but  two minutes earlier, Taylor and VAR didn’t see that Ayew holding on to Tall Paul’s shirt for five seconds was worthy of anything.  ‘Not enough consequence’ seems to be the get out clause these days.  Arsenal’s offside against us in the last game – not enough consequence.

Anthony Clearly Too Far Away and With Obstructed View

Questions will now inevitably turn towards whether Russell Martin will survive as Southampton manager. He has credit in the bank having got the club promoted last season but we have to view everything for a Premier League lens because this is where the club is and this is where the club wants to stay. At the moment, Russell Martin is not learning quickly enough and we are going to be relegated. Russell Martin was nowhere near an innocent party in this defeat today with nonsensical decisions where the outcome was entirely predictable.  He’s recently made a complete arse of the Bournemouth away game – our last game when we could have reasonably got something.  You can make mistakes in the Championship and get away with it but not here in the Premier League.  I feel that he will get the Manchester City free hit game next week and he will also get the next home game against Everton but as a club, behind the scenes, I wouldn’t be surprised if we are sounding out other managers to see if they would be interested in the job. If the likes of Graham Potter are not interested and we can’t get awyone better, then we have the choice of blindly jumping into the void and sacking him or to carry on with what we are doing at the moment and hope it miraculously improves.  Personally, I want to Russell Martin for survive and I want him to do well but it just does not look like it’s going to happen at the moment.

Did I hear someone say Manchester City away next week?  Great.

Up the fucking Saints.

EFL Championship Match 44 - Leicester 5 Southampton 0

 

Show Him Onto His Good Foot and Stand Off

Flat.

Flat is the feeling in the aftermath of the Cardiff game going into this game against Leicester City away from home. We should’ve been bullish and expectant and confident going into this game on the back of a surge that took us from nowhere to the brink of gatecrashing the top two… But we’re not, are we?

The defeat at Cardiff has pissed on our proverbial fireworks and now the fireworks are only potentially going to be set off by the home team tonight because if they win, with games against Blackburn and Preston to come, they are virtually guaranteed to be going up at the first time of asking. It’s just hard to accept that had we not lost to Cardiff youth team, we would still be in with a very good chance ourselves. As it is, the best we’ve got is paraphrasing the message on Colombian drug lord Jhonny Viafara’s T-shirt… we sorry we spoil the party. Jhonny Viafara was of course famous for scoring a couple of goals at Derby in what was our last visit to the playoffs in 2007, so it’s funny that his name should cross my mind today.

So what of Leicester. Leicester of course got relegated with us last year when they had a squad that still had James Madison and Harvey Barnes. Amazingly, under the management of his own biggest fan, Brendan Rodgers, they managed to lose twice to us last year. Any thoughts that we may have an advantage over them this season therefore, were dashed at the start of the season when we produced a shocker and got beat 4-1 at home. The consolation is that this was well before the players got used to the Russell Martin style of football and in that game we showed exactly how not to do it by giving away two kamikaze goals within the first five minutes. We are better than we were back then (usually) of course but are Leicester? The 17-point cushion that they had at the top of the league in December has been gradually eroded since then and at one point they were actually outside of the automatic promotion places as Leeds and Ipswich surged and Leicester died on their arse. In the past few weeks they have been inconsistent, losing to the likes of Plymouth and Millwall but also winning the odd game to just about keep their heads above water.  They had a massive win last week at home to West Brom when in all truth, they should’ve lost but got a bit fortunate. However, they did find a way to win, as opposed to their opponents today, who found a way to do the complete opposite.

Leicester’s season has been overshadowed somewhat by profit and sustainability charges brought against them by the Premier League and backed up by the EFL. Nothing has happened however except the EFL making a statement that they wouldn’t be any points deductions applied this year. It’s obvious that both governing bodies think that Leicester are guilty (The transfer embargo they were under in January suggests that very strongly) which of course covers both last season and this but hey ho, never mind everyone. As has often been the case in the Championship, if you overspend and break the rules but go up, then it was a gamble worth taking. I’m sure that most teams in the Championship would like to be able to afford a midfield three of Ndidi, Winks and Dewsbury-Hall and the relegated teams from last year would’ve liked to have only had to sell two players.

Russell Martin’s pre-match press conference revealed that we are once again going to try to have to find a way to win without Flynn Downes. Apparently, we have won only two of the nine games has been about unavailable for this season. We have additional problems in midfield today of course because Stuart Armstrong won’t be playing so it is going to be three out of Aribo, Smallbone, Rothwell and Charles. I swear that if it’s the first three, I might not bother watching. Ryan Manning is also struggling with injury and I’d be almost certain that Jack Stephens will come into for him to play his hybrid left back midfield role as we did against West Brom and Ipswich… or not.  No Stephens as it turns out but another chance for James Bree – a player who divides opinions.  My opinion is that he’s bang average and I hope he proves me wrong today.  He’ll probably be up against Stephy Mavididi, who tore us apart at St.Marys.

They opening fifteen minutes are a bit nervy to say the least because Leicester look like they’re 100% up for it and we are not brave enough to get on the ball and start passing it about.  Leicester easily pass through us and get the ball out to Fatawu on the right and it cuts inside KWP very, very easily and luckily for us, picks out McCarthy‘s midriff with the shot

Saints implement their defensive tactic of standing off to perfection as Ndidi picks the ball up on the left and has all the time he needs to set one off at the far post and it fortunately drifts just wide.  None of our players was anywhere near him.

We do actually create a bit of an opening as Bobby Madley ignores Wout Faes grabbing hold of Adams and allows us to play on with Aribo finding Adam Armstrong and he plays it across the top of the area to Rothwell who has to hit it first time but of course, he doesn’t, which means the chance goes to shit.

Another unhindered cross comes in from the right wing it’s too deep this time but Mavadidi keeps it alive and McCarthy palms it up in the air and it’s coming down on the goal line and Bednarek has to get up and head over as Vardy clatters into the back of him.

We’re just about keeping them at arm’s length but we’re not getting anywhere when we get the ball.  This is partly down to Leicester’s press and partly down to Boboby Madley being a fat useless twat.  Winks, Vestergaard and Faes should all have been booked by now for cynical pull-backs in midfield, but nothing.  I’m not too worried at this stage because for all the threat, they haven’t got anything on target to test out McCarthy as yet. 

Famous last words.  It all changes with a ball up to the feet of Adams and Faes comes flying in and gets nowhere near the ball as he takes him out but Bobby thinks that’s play on and one pass later, Dewsbury-Hall slides the ball into Fatawu, who has easily lost KWP and he easily passes it past McCarthy. He looks offside as well but no flag so 1-0 down. Cheers Bobby you dickhead. Goal Fatawu, Assist Madley.

Saints try and get something moving through the midfield after the restart and Che is once again hauled to the ground by Winks right in front of the referee and Bobby once again, can’t tell a bookable challenge from a hole in his arse. A quick free kick and the ball goes to Adam Armstrong on the left and I suddenly get flashbacks to several moments in the last two seasons in the Premier League where he has a defender right in front of him and smashes it at him anyway.

Rothwell has started the game like a drain and has had about ten touches in forty minutes.  He’s either not getting involved or he’s getting involved and giving the ball away.  He then limps out of a challenge and has to be substituted which at least means that his day can’t get any worse and Will Smallbone is on in his place and we can now play with a full 11.  We immediately look better and get to half-time with our one goal deficit mercifully intact. 

No changes and the second half starts with Adams nicking the ball off of Leicester and Saints have a bit of pressure around the edge of the penalty area. Brooks finds Smallbone and a good cross into the box picks out Adam Armstrong’s run but he plays an airshot.  Haven’t had one of those for a few weeks.  More pressure as Smallbone wins the ball in midfield and finds Adams who plays a great ball inside the fullback for Brooks but Justin comes steaming across and breathes on Brooks, which is enough to send him crashing to the ground.

We get momentarily excited as Adams turns about 40 yards out and plays a ball through the defensive line to Armstrong who is clean through and goes on and shoots and it’s of course saved by Hermanson. A quick look at the replay shows that Armstrong was a good five yards offside and the flag was up instantly.

Substitution time with Bree and Brooks being replaced with Edozie and Manning. If Bree shook hands with Mavididi on the way off then that’s the first time he got touch tight to him all game.  With KWP switching to the right, we give the ball away and Mavididi, totally unpressured by KWP, is allowed to easily lift the ball into the middle and Ndidi heads down and in. Of course he’s unmarked because we don’t track runners and we don’t stop crosses coming in.  As a defensive system it needs work. Fucking garbage

And then we give up.  Sub Choudhury plays a simple ball out to Fatawu on the left and having been generously invited inside onto his good foot by Ryan Manning, he takes the invitation and curls one into the far corner of the net whilst Manning watches from a safe distance. Well played Ryan. Dickhead.

I want it gets worse as Mavididi turns KWP and Charles inside out and Leicester eventually work the ball out to Fatawu again. This time Manning shows he’s learned and doesn’t show him inside.  This time he watches on from a distance as Fatawu just passes it into the box with his right foot and Jamie Vardy has made a run away from THB to smash it into the net. You could not see more shit defending if you fucking tried

We do actually manage an attack with decent play by Charles to feed it though to Edozie on the left wing.  He goes past the full back and crosses it but Leicester clear and suddenly we have about seven players ahead of the ball. With no defensive midfielder anywhere in sight it is basically a four against two break with our centre halves on their own awaiting Joe Aribo and KWP to get back, hindered as they are by the caravans they are towing. Dewsbury-Hall finds Vardy who knocks it across and Fatawu gives McCarthy no chance at all.  Aribo and KWP have unhitched their caravans but at least they made an effort.  Anyone seen Manning?.

Che Adams and Aribo are given an early exit from the shitshow and are replaced with Wee Man and Jack Stephens and we manage to not concede any more.

Well that was fun. Actually, it wasn’t fun at all, it was complete shite. It was the worst kind of shite as well because we basically gave up. You can always lose to a team that has more ability than you, as Leicester undoubtedly have, but to show no heart and bottle is absolutely inexcusable.

Leicester were everything that we should’ve been but weren’t.  Even in the first half before the game run away from us, they were being horrible bastards in the middle of the park and making sure that we didn’t get into any rhythm.  They were aided and abetted of course by Bobby Madley who was the usual fucking clown that he always is but Leicester did a job. They were horrible to play against, left the foot in, pulled people back all over the place but it got them the foothold in the game and when they have the ball they look to go forward all the time. They have two wingers in Mavididi and Fatawu who looked to attack all the time and they have Jamie Vardy who even at the age of 37 still constantly harasses central defenders. At the back they were horrible to play against as well, with Vestergaard and Faes not giving Adams room to breathe all game.

There was an aggression about them that we just didn’t have, even in the first half. When Leicester went two ahead, which was slightly against the run a play in the second half, it was our cue to basically give up.  After that of course the goals rained in. Alex McCarthy couldn’t really be blamed individually for any goal which kind of tells you how easy we made it for them. The two central defenders Jan Bednarek and THB did their best to stem the tide and surprisingly, given that we conceded five goals, weren’t too bad though THB got done by Vardy for the fourth goal.

We had three full-backs who made an appearance during the game. James Bree was shit. I know there is a narrative these days that he is actually quite a good defender and okay at this level. No he’s not, he is shit.  He is never close to the man he should be marking. He ball-watches when the ball is on the other side and I don’t think he’s ever blocked a cross in his life. If you write a list all the things that were closer to Mavididi than James Bree then it would include Russell Martin on the bench who was over the other side of the pitch, fans in the away end and quite possibly fans watching on TV at home in Southampton.

He was replaced midway through the second half by Ryan Manning who was equally fucking dreadful.  Show him onto his good foot Ryan!  Well, that didn’t work – now give him loads of time to use his other foot! For fucks sake.  And then there was KWP – what the fuck was that?  Very heavily involved in the first two goals and added absolutely nothing going forward, which was something he shared with the other two.  We know the other two are bang average at best though, so Kyle was easily the worst compared to his expected standard.  Horrible passive bollocks from all three of them.

Our midfield was up against a proper Premier League midfield in Ndidi, Winks and Dewsbury-Hall. Even our first-choice midfield which would’ve had Downes, Stuart Armstrong and Smallbone would’ve struggled but the midfield we put was never going to be up to it. This was despite Shea Charles having a good hour and Joe Aribo being okay. Joe Rothwell managed 40 minutes before he got injured.  At least when he went off we knew where he fucking was cos we had no idea when he was on the pitch. How you can be a central midfielder in a possession-based team and touch the ball so little, is a real achievement.  The worrying thing was the lack of cohesion between the midfield and the attack with Stuart Armstrong not there. Russell Martin has two games to find the answer to that particular conundrum and if he thinks playing Joe Rothwell is the answer then he’s not asking himself the right question.

So what is the answer? Is it moving David Brooks into midfield. Yes, he has the creativity and can go past players but he is also one of the lightest lightweight players you’ve ever seen. If not him then you’re looking at someone like Tyler Dibling.  He could possibly do it but the same light weight problem is going to still be there. I would dearly like Russell Martin to start Brooks in Stuart Armstrong’s position against Stoke and maybe bring Tyler on for the last half an hour to see how he gets on.

Brooks didn’t do very much at all on the wing today and nor did Adam Armstrong who I’m afraid gave a perfect example of what happens when he plays against a slightly better team. He was up against Ricardo Pereira today it was of course a Portuguese international and a genuine Premier League player and Adam Armstrong looks like the Adam Armstrong we had a Premier League level for the last two years. Just not good enough when the standard is a little bit higher.

One of the few bright sparks was provided by Che Adams who battled away on his own upfront and had a decent game against Faes and Vestergaard with very, very little protection from Bobby Madley. He was the only one providing any movement and considering he probably only has a few games left for the club before he moves on, he can be applauded for putting in a proper shift.

Don't You Worry About That Cynical Shirt Pull Son

It seems churlish to be complaining about the referee at the end of a 5-0 defeat. Bobby Madley and his two linesman in the first half we are absolutely stunning. As previously mentioned, he let Leicester get away with multiple fouls in the middle of the pitch without producing a yellow card and the first goal was a thing of beauty from his point of view. 99 times out of 100 is a foul but not today and though the offside was close we really could’ve done with a linesman coming up with the correct decision.  The lino on the other side came up with one of the most incredible decisions of the season when a stray pass across his own goal by Leicester player was chased into the corner by Che Adams who was then given offside.

A truly, truly awful performance from a team who gave up and didn’t care. Gutless and lacking in character. Jack Stephens come out and face to media afterwards as the captain and made no excuses and said the right things about us giving up and it being unacceptable.  Russell Martin was pretty honest and promised that heads would roll but he said that before and then done not a lot about it in terms of personnel changes. To be honest, he doesn’t have a lot of choice but I think we can say for certain that Jack Stephens will be coming back into the side for the games to come and after witnessing that today, I can’t argue against it. We will see what sort of reaction we get at home to Stoke on Saturday.

That was a fucking disgrace today. Fancy us in a high-pressure playoff game when it really matters?  Errr…. Let me think about that one for a minute.

EFL Championship Match 6 - Southampton 1 Leicester 4

Russ Glares at the Defensive Coach

Leicester City at home and once again we have been chosen for the Friday night game to get the ball rolling after the international break. It’s been a couple of weeks of relative calm after our drubbing up at Sunderland. No one has been checking every five minutes to see if we’ve signed or sold someone but there has still been the odd story to keep us interested.  The transfer window was now closed, only it wasn’t quite because there was still ways of getting rid of deadwood.

I’m not sure how it happened but Moussa Djenepo left to rejoin Standard Liège in Belgium. He has certainly been an interesting player over the 4 1/2 years that he’s been with us. The odd moment of brilliance mixed in with long periods out of the squad and cameo appearances where not a great deal positive happened.  When he signed, he was an absolute maverick winger who did everything off the cuff and started off with two brilliant goals against Brighton and against Sheffield United the left us thinking that we might have the next Sadio Mane on our books. Over time though, all that spontaneity was coached out of him in an attempt to try and make him more of her team player in Ralph Hasenhüttl’s system and basically all that happened was that the things he was good at were taken away and the things he wasn’t good at, didn’t improve that much.  

A brief renaissance at the start of last season by being versatile enough to play a couple of games well at fullback, lead to one of the most ridiculous decisions by the club in recent memory, in awarding him a new three-year contract and entirely predictably, he has delivered absolutely nothing apart from one goal in that ridiculous win against Manchester City in the Carabao cup. I’m not saying it’s Moussa‘s fault but that win did more harm than good because it kept Nathan Jones in a job for longer than he should’ve been. Moussa always seemed a very happy positive presence and you can never accuse him of not trying or not wanting to do well but it was never going to happen. The only way it could’ve turned out differently is if he had maybe been used in the centre of the pitch and just been told to go and create havoc but that was never going to happen. I don’t know who is going to take over the role of doing step overs multiple times until you tackle yourself, but I’m sure someone will.

Turkey, as usual, have different rules to everybody else but it’s handy in this case because it ebanled us to get Tall Paul out of the door and away to Trabzonspor. He’s gone on loan in the hope that he does well and Trabzonspor or anyone else signs him next summer.  £18 million we paid, just 8 months ago.  That’s what you get when you have a non-football person in charge of a transfer window making desperate signings for a manager that you are about to sack. As I’ve said many times before, you only get the best out of a player like Paul if you set the team up to play to have strengths and if you don’t, then you are going to get absolutely nothing out of him. I guess the financial hit is deemed worth it as the cost of getting this reminder of Rasmus Ankersen‘s incompetence at that time, out of the door and Sport Republic see it as a decent price to pay. Good luck to Paul and in Turkey.

Back to today and Leicester have had the same start as we have in the Championship, playing five, winning three, drawing one and losing one. However, the narrative around Leicester has been a lot more positive for some reason. I don’t really understand why to be quite honest because even in the opening three games where they had 100% record, they didn’t play particularly well. There are of course some decent Leicester fans but if anyone in this division as a fan base where the majority think they are too good to be in it, it will be them. I guess it’s understandable in a way having won the Premier League and the FA Cup within the last 10 years. Enzo Maresca is the new manager, in his first managerial role and it’s his job to try and repair the absolute shit show inherited from Brendan Rodgers who was down there with Nathan Jones and Ruben Selles as the worst performing manager in the Premier League last season given the resources at his disposal. A few of those resources, namely James Maddison, Youri Tielemans and Harvey Barnes have left for the Premier League.

This is a game where I feel that Russell Martin has to go out with a slightly more pragmatic approach so I’m really hoping to see both Shea Charles and Flynn Downes in midfield today to give our defence a little bit more protection.  In the event though, Charles was needed at centre back with Bednarek having picked up a knock playing for Poland in the week. He took his place alongside new signing Taylor Harwood-Bellis which left us with a midfield three of Downes, Smallbone and Adam Armstrong who was wearing the captains armband for the second game running.  Che Adams got a place upfront and Ryan Fraser made his full debut.

From the kickoff we pass the ball back to KWP is in the centre of midfield and eventually it goes back to Shea Charles who has rotated into Kyle’s place right back. His clearance is blocked and Leicester pick up the ball, pass forward, cross, open goal, Rat Bastard unmarked, 1-0, 21 seconds. What actual fucking fuck was that? How can you go from kicking off to 1-0 down in 20 seconds?

We Decided To Get the Obligatory Rat Bastard Goal Over With Early.

Having already conceded a goal and done the same straight away against Sunderland last time out, Harwood-Bellis tries to mark his debut with a horrific attempt at a pass through the eye of a needle into midfield from the 6-yard line and absolute carnage ensues and we just about get away with that one. What the fuck is going on?  You’ve shot yourself once, here’s a loaded gun – have another go.  What are we doing?

What we are doing is trying to get back into it and we work an opening for Che Adams on the edge of the box and his shot for the far corner is turned away well by Hermanson.  The Leicester keeper is at the centre of things soon after as he finds himself out of his goal after a ‘play out from the back’ fuck up and the ball breaks to Che who once again demonstrates his unerring talent for hitting the goalkeeper from every conceivable situation.

Playing out from the back has another fucking mare on 18 minutes as well have another go.  Smallbone has the ball out on the right and fires it infield at KWP but it’s lose and bounces free to Dewsbury-Hall.  One pass across to McAteer and he can’t really miss and it’s 2-0, courtesy of us giving the ball away twice in our back third.  Fucking brilliant.

When we do go long, it’s usually down to Baz to find his man, which he does with reasonable amounts of success.  His ball out to Fraser causes confusion in the Leicester defence and Doyle leaves it for Vestergaard who has the reaction spead of a slug, so Adams slides it through for Edozie, who neatly chips over Hermansen to make it 2-1.

Half Time Scapegoating on the Way

Saints are generally on top for the next twenty minutes or so without producing much, in contrast to Leicester who look likely to score every time they get close to our goal.  After a period of utter chaos in our area which we survive, you think that we can get to half time and regroup but oh no, of course not as Mavididi bundles past a piss-weak challenge from Edozie and finds Ndidi in the box and he sorts his feet out nicely to knock it round the sliding THB and past Baz to make it 3-1.  Dog shit.

Half time and we’ve fucked it.  All we had to do was manage the game and see it out for a couple of minutes and get to the break just the one behind, like any normal team would have done but oh no.  Defensively I have never seen anything quite like that – I can’t even see what is supposed to be happening defensively and nothing has changed over the 45 minutes.  I expected to see something sensible happen at half time, like Holgate brought on for Smallbone or Adam Armstrong and Charles moved to midfield but all we got was Edozie, who had been our best attacker, off and replaced with Sulemana.
 
Still, get the first goal of the second half and we might have a chance if we tighten things up and the first chance falls to Captain Armstrong as Manning’s cross is headed down by the giant in the air that is Ryan Fraser and Armstrong blasts it miles over from about ten yards.  Has to score I’m afraid.

With Downes having got injured and been replaced with Alcaraz, Smallbone is now our defensive midfielder, which is a disaster waiting to happen and sure enough, Leicester stroll though our non-existent midfield and luckily, Mavididi turns down squaring the ball for the unmarked Rat Bastard and puts it wide himself as Baz comes out.

Sulemana has started the half reasonably out on the left, giving Justin the runaround but with little end product.  After 15 minutes or so though, he loses the ball a couple of times and you can see the enthusiasm drain out of him.  With all our players up following a set piece, he waves a lazy leg at the ball and his attempted pass goes straight to Mavididi and though he has 70 yards to go, it’s only Smallbone between him and Baz.  He pisses past Smallbone’s lame attempt at a tackle and sprints away.  It’s now a training drill where you are through on goal with no one chasing you and on he goes and scores easily.  Embarrassing.

As the game peters out and the ground empties, Iheanacho should make it 5 but puts it over with just Baz to beat and then it’s over to Bobby Madley, who I haven’t mentioned yet.  He doesn’t give Sulemana a free kick and then when Sulemana chases back and tries to tackle Justin, out comes the red card, I assume because Bobby thought it was retaliation.  Absolute bullshit but it doesn’t matter for today and for all Sulemana’s contribution today, probably doesn’t matter even if he gets banned.  A perfect end to a great day.

I am struggling for words at the end of that, so I’ll use last seasons ‘go to’ description and say that it was absolute fucking shit. We lost the game in the first half of course with a defensive set up as shambolic as I have ever seen in my 50 years of watching live football matches. In summary, Manning was left back, THB was at left centre back, Charles was in between right centre back and right back.  KWP was in central midfield but not close enough to Downes to make any sort of defensive screen. Downes was playing where you would expect a defensive midfielder to be and Smallbone was absolutely fucking nowhere.  If it hadn’t of been for Bazunu then we would’ve been five behind at half-time.  I can only assume (and it is a guess) that it was supposed to be a back three out of possession but it’s impossible to tell because it was that shambolic.  

It didn’t get any better in the second half, when we replaced the injured Downes with Alcaraz and basically deployed Smallbone as the defensive midfielder - only he wasn’t really, he was pressing in the Leicester half, as was Shea Charles who was going up and pressing on the halfway line leaving THB completely on his own at the back, given occasional help by Manning but mostly relying on Baz to keep the score down. We were so open throughout that game that you could honestly say that if we play like that, we’ll struggle win another game between now and the end of the season and we will be letting in at least three goals every game, even against the weaker sides.

The thing today is the Leicester weren’t even that good and didn’t have to be. All they had to be was vaguely organised and they didn’t have to work for any of their goals as we just made it easy for them. A complete and utter shambles from start to finish, on top of getting beat 5-0 and vowing to learn lessons and all that shit that managers say after a heavy defeat. I’m sorry, but going for a lot of over-complicated inverted-full-back bollocks like that does not show that he’s learning any lessons.  Just play a fucking back four in traditional positions and have two midfielders as a defensive screen in front of them. Don’t fucking over-complicate it because our players are not good enough to do that and you can try and add complications when a team has mastered the basics.

There is a large section in the middle of the game either side of half-time where we showed that if we just set up with any sort of stable defensive set up then we could well have won this game. If we had the same system in place that we had at Sheffield Wednesday, when we were organised and disciplined then we may well have won this game but it looks to me like we were just trying to be too fucking clever today with players that weren’t capable of doing it. Ruben Selles did the same thing at the tail end of last season and it was ridiculous then and it’s ridiculous now.

Whilst most of the blame for this defeat lies with the management and the coaches, of course, individual players made some horrendous decisions and put in piss poor performances.  I’m not having Will Smallbone as a regular starter. He is a classic flat track bully in that he looks great when you have 80% possession and the opposition midfield don’t close you down but as soon as there’s any sort of battle in there then he’s next to useless and he doesn’t contribute defensively at all because he’s not quick enough to get about the park and he can’t tackle. Basically, I would not play him unless it’s against teams who you expect to be in the bottom six. 

Captain Adam Armstrong was fucking hopeless today. Occasionally he picked up the ball and darted into space and it looked like something was going to happen but it never did. The final ball or shot was always crap but like Smallbone, here is another player who has been elevated to almost undroppable status by the manager, similar to the way that Jack Stephens was when he was made captain.

Then we have Kamaldeen Sulemana, who everyone (including himself probably) assumed was gonna tear up this league if he got his head round it and actually got down to playing but we saw everything we needed to see of Kamaldeen today. To start with he looked sharp and interested and dangerous but then he fucked up and that led to the fourth goal and after that he completely disappeared, didn’t want the ball and then got himself sent off, harshly perhaps but that’s Bobby Madley for you.

The accusation that he can’t organise a defence has followed Russell Martin around his entire career and all he did today was added more fuel to that. Our defensive set up at our own corners involved basically leaving one player who can’t run or tackle - Smallbone, on his own on the halfway line. That’s suicidal. Mavididi running at him for the fourth goal was comical. 

Some of the defensive shambles was of course on the players. One of the most amazing (in a bad way) bit of play was from THB.  Having lost 5-0 to Sunderland last week, letting in two goals in the first five minutes and having conceded after less than a minute today - he then tried to thread a ridiculous ball in between to Leicester players from the edge of the 6-yard box.  Regardless of philosophy, if you are a goal down due to a fuck up after one minute, you grow into the game for the next ten and make sure you don’t fuck up again.

Russell Martin talked about learning the lessons from the Sunderland game and applying them today. Over two weeks he totally failed to do that.  We were playing the team that's likely to win the Championship and he sent us out with just one defensively minded midfielder and He now has four days before the next game, at home to a fairly strong Ipswich side. If we go out with that defensive set up against Ipswich - we will lose so for me, it has to be back to basics.  There was one line from Russell Martin’s post match interview which I found interesting, when he said something along the lines of anyone who thought we would get to where we need to get to without pain, was a little bit naive.  That’s all well and good mate but when you have two back-to-back hammerings, that is not going to wash with supporters and you have to remember that this is a season where it’s not okay for the club that you are managing to finish 13th. There will be a certain amount of tolerance and maybe if we’d lost these two games or a single goal then people would be more forgiving but getting annihilated twice running is really not a good look.  Another jarring statement was that we went 'toe to toe' with Leicester - absolute bollocks that one.

KWP was an interesting choice for the player to do the post match interviews and he came out in defence of the manager and put the blame the players for not carrying out the defensive instructions. I assume he’s referring to himself as he played in an area in between right midfield and centre midfield and spend the whole game looking completely fucking lost. 

All I can say in mitigation is that I hope that this was some sort of tactic that was brought in specifically for this game against Leicester.   It clearly didn’t work of course but hopefully, it will be back to basics on Tuesday night.  Please.