Carling Cup 4th Round - Crystal Palace 2 Southampton 0

Carling Cup, The Reserves Cup, The Fringe Cup.   Whatever you want to call it, we’re in the last 16 and three rounds away from a Wembley Final.  Birmingham had a great day out and won the Final last year... and then got relegated.... oops. 

Nigel has made the unusual step of naming James Ward-Prowse in the side, two days before the game..  He’s still 16 so it’s a massive day for him.  I’m in two minds about this as slotting him into an otherwise unchanged midfield would be ok, playing him in a team of reserves is something else...  no doubt Arsenal will have a scout watching.... just piss off.   I think these games really highlight the bare areas in our squad, centre defence and up front.  As far as I can see we have two fit centre halves unless Nigel is going to throw Harlee Dean in there instead of Big Jos and in the last round, the ‘partnership’ of Johnno Pace and Ben Reeves up front was not great.

If it was down to me I’d play one of Sir Rickie and the Gulyman up front with Johnno and have Aaron Martin and Big Jos at the back.  Also, one of the experienced central midfielders (Chappers, Morgan, Corky) in there with Ward-Prowse.  Nigel on the other hand, went with an iffy forward line of Ben Reeves and Johnno Pace with Jack Cork drafted into play centre back alongside Aaron Martin.  Harding and Butters were the full backs with Holmes and de Ridder on the  wings.  The experience in midfield was provided by 21 year old Schneiderlin.  On the bench we had some experience with Sir Rickie, the Gulyman and the welcome sight of Lee Barnard back from injury and also, untried youngsters Harlee Dean, Corby Moore and keeper Jack Dovey as Dismal Forecast has been loaned out to Shitterton in the Bevois Valley Sunday Division 7.

Saints had the first decent chance of the match with a corner being headed goalwards by Corky who beat the keeper but not the defender stationed on the line.  Ben Reeves then went close, making a chance for himself with his own tenacity and firing in a low shot which the Palace keeper held well.  Reeves was showing up well up front and put in a dangerous cross which eluded everyone before being muscled out of things in the area and unsuccessfully appealing for a penalty.  I don’t really think it was but some ref’s might have given it.   The fact that Reeves weighs about 6 stone may have contributed to him being knocked over.

We had a great chance on 25 minutes as former Skates season ticket holder James Ward-Prowse, played Johnno Pace through and after  doing the difficult bit and making space for himself, fired it straight at the keeper.  It was mainly Saints for the rest of the first half but we carried little or no goal threat and his name was Johnno.

Jermaine Easter came into the game for Palace at the start of the second half, having a couple of snap shots which flew over the bar but nothing much happened until the hour mark when a fine Harding cross went onto the head of Johnno Pace and you can guess the rest – needless to say, the onion bag wasn’t involved.

On 70 minutes, Nigel had seen enough and Johnno was put out of his misery and replaced with lee Barnard for his first action of the season.   Not that it was Barney’s fault but impact sub worked in the negative and it took all of 3 minutes for us to fall behind as Corky’s attempted clearance sliced its way to Williams on the right wing and his cross was swept in by Darren Ambrose from close range.  The goal brought more action on the bench and Sir Rickie and the Gulyman came on for the tiring Reeves and the ineffective Holmes who as ‘ineffective’ implies, hadn’t achieved very much all game.

Again, our substitutions coincided with a Palace goal as Williams, who was going away from goal on the left hand side of the penalty area, was needlessly and clumsily tripped by Harding for the easiest decision this ref will ever have to make.  Bart dived right and Easter put the ball to his left to make it 2-0 and game over.

Sir Rickie had a go from a free kick which was held by the keeper and a Gulyman snap shot was shoved over by a combination of keeper and the cross bar.  Too little too late and out we went.

It’s hard not to be disappointed a bit at going out of a competition but we as supporters have to accept that the club has different priorities this year, however, I feel that just by having either the Gulyman or Sir Rickie up front instead of Johnno would have won us the game.  I guess our job is to support whatever team and players are representing SFC and over 2,500 did that on a crappy night in South London which is a fantastic effort.  As you can doubtless tell from this crappy blog entry, I wasn’t one of them and as I was skanking away at a Specials gig with thousands of other 40+ year olds, I didn’t have the insight of Merrington to fall back on.

Nigel’s interview said a lot as he was a bit negative which stands out because he very rarely is.  He said that some players didn’t do themselves any favour today and I think we can assume he’s talking about Johnno Pace, Lee Holmes and Steve de Ridder as he criticised our lack of goal threat whilst exonerating Ben Reeves who was the only other player in an advanced position.  James Ward-Prowse was picked out for praise and it does seem to have been a very confident debut for the lad.  The Skates were annoyed when Alex Chamberlain slipped through their net so it’s nice to have another one do the same.

Middlesbrough at home on Saturday and I think we may see just a few changes.  If Jose Fonte is not fit then expect Aaron Martin to play  as we have no one else and maybe Lee Barnard will make the bench which may have the effect of sparking David Connolly back into goalscoring form.   Morgan or Deano in midfield is another question and I expect the Frenchman to get the nod after a decent performance tonight.  A win on Saturday and resting a load of players tonight will be justified, anything less and we may be looking at the game Crystal Palace get in the Quarter Finals of the Carling Cup and wondering what might have been.

Draw a blue line under it and move on.

Carling Cup 3rd Round - Southampton 2 Preston 1

Give us a song Phil...

Carling Cup 3rd Round and a visit to SMS from Phil Brown and Preston North End, newly relegated to League 1 and obviously making it a priority to return to the Championship at the end of the season. A decent start they’ve made too and so tonight could be a tricky game.... in theory. It’s a bit said that you cannot look at league form as a guide to how a cup tie will go these days as if it was a league match, about 16 of the 22 players wouldn’t be playing.

The Official Saints website has been entirely predictable and scoured the squad for a player who used to play for the opposition. They didn’t have to look too far to come up with Chappers who managed to do a ten minute interview without mentioning Darren Ferguson once. Fergie Lite of course bombed him out of PNE, then sold him to us for a pittance and then got fired from PNE after he’d done most of the hard work to ensure they got relegated. I ended the last blog entry by stating that Phil Brown is a bit of a knob and he undoubtedly is (a perma-tanned, all singing and dancing “everybody look at me” knob) but he’s a definite improvement on Fergie Lite.

The day had not gone too well for yours truly, starting with the experience on turning up for work in Brighton and realising that I had odd shoes on. This was not good considering it was one black and one brown and not just two different black ones that I may have got away with. So, looking like an extra from Miami Vice in my squash shoes, I had to listen to the Brighton fans banging on about their tie with Liverpool when they weren’t taking the piss. Fast forward to the end of the day and it’s time to catch the 5.33 from Brighton only they’ve cancelled the bastard due to incompetence. Railway employees are programmed to say one thing when faced with a pissed off customer and that is “ticket office”. The next train was to Pompey so I managed to get Dad to pick me up at Havant at 7.10 (where I kept my SFC shirt safely hidden in my bag as I went through immigration) and we pegged it down the motorway, arriving at SMS and only missing 5 minutes.

Radio Merrington said that in fact I’d been underestimating the amount of team changes as in fact, we’d made 10 and so had they. Bart was of course in goal and the defence looked solid with Butters, Big Jos, Aaron Martin and Dicko. Predictably the midfield contained Morgan and Chappers with Steve de Ridder and Lee Holmes on the wings. Still quite a string team and then we got to the forwards of Ben Reeves making his debut and Johnno Pace. Alarm bells of the loud clanging variety. I didn’t know much about Reeves other than up until recently he’s been a left back and there was no way that Johnno was going to be any good at leading the line on his own.

Saints started well with De Ridder and Holmes looking lively and Schneiderlin and Chaplow looking dominant in the middle. Johnno Pace had an early chance to show what he could do when Martin boomed a clearance forward and Johnno let it run before making up about 10 yards on the defender and keeping the ball in. Sadly, this was to prove the highlight of his display.

When he controlled the ball properly, Lee Holmes was getting into some good positions on the left and got some crosses in but the difference between today and a League game was really noticeable. In a league game, if the left winger (Lallana) gets a cross in then the chances are that Lambert, Connolly and Gulyman would all be in the box and possibly one of Cork or Hammond as well. Today there was Johnno who can’t head the ball for shit and maybe de Ridder and that was about it. Reeves was neat and tidy but playing far too deep and we looked pretty toothless up front as a result.

We took the lead just before the half hour as Holmes took a corner from the right which flew over everyone except Reeves who had peeled away beyond the back post. His nod back across was met by Big Jos who flicked it home for his first SFC goal. Jos then got on with the job marshalling the defence which he is doing with more and more authority with the more games he plays.

De Ridder then broke away against the left back who just grabbed him and took the booking. They couldn’t live with him at all at this point and then a second Preston defender got booked for exactly the same thing. Knowing now that they couldn’t grab him again, de Ridder broke away down the right and failed to get his head up and butchered a clear chance on goal when he turned the opposite way to where Holmes and Johnno were, screaming for a pass.

We had a minor alarm right on half time when we were treated to a performance by the Flying Bialkowski Circus Act who came flying out after a corner in impressive fashion, lacking only in that there wasn’t any contact with the white round thing. The referee’s half time whistle echoed round the 24,000 empty seats and it was time to have the piss that had been required since a 5 o’clock pint on Brighton station.

It doesn’t matter what 11 players we have on the pitch, we seem to be in the habit of starting the second half slowly s it all got very scrappy. Preston managed to get in our half for a bit and somehow managed to equalize when Bart could only parry an effort and the ball seemed to squirt between 3 Saints defenders and hit a forward on the shin and bobble into the net. Ridiculous goal though I expect Phil (and his tan) was warming up his vocal chords.

The scrap continued for 5 minutes or so and it was noticeable that many of the Saints players that showed up well in the first half had disappeared. Johnno was running around up front like Forrest Gump in a perfect exhibition of how to be where the ball isn’t. Reeves was dropping deeper and deeper but not getting involved and Holmes and de Ridder had faded. What you need when the game is going nowhere is some talent to come on from the bench and luckily we had some as Lallana came on for de Ridder.

His first touch was to come off the left wing and cushion a pass to Holmes and his second was to get on the end of the subsequent cross and bury the header past the keeper to make it 2-1 making it about 45 seconds on the pitch for one goal. Well, Nigel like his subs to have an impact doesn’t he.

Big Jos appeared to go down with cramp straight after the goal and was replaced by Jose Fonte and five minutes more passed before Johnno Pace was put out of his misery and replaced with Sir Rickie. The rest of the game was in truth, played out comfortably despite Preston throwing on Neil Mellor to try and give them something up front. Chappers was getting under their skin a bit which is what tends to happen when you go into Bald Psycho mode and start leaving your foot in. It was funny seeing the Preston midfielders taking turns to try and kick him.

The expected last few minutes onslaught didn’t really happen as whenever Preston got the ball, they seemed to just give it back to us. Aaron Martin and Fonte showed up well in dealing with the few balls that were tossed into the box and the ref eventually blew to end what was in truth, a rather limp kind of game.

Well…. We won and we’re through to the last 16 which is all that matters really. The players that you knew would be decent (Hooiveld, Chaplow, Schneiderlin, Martin, de Ridder) were decent and the fringe players who don’t usually make the bench, on the whole demonstrated why. Butters and Dicko both showed flashes of good play, mixed in with extreme rustiness and a few wayward passes. Surprisingly for such and experienced player, Butters also managed to dive in and get skinned a couple of times. Ben Reeves had a decent enough debut but really tired at the start of the second half before getting a 2nd wind towards the end. He’s one of the 5ft 7inch blonde clones that Dr Nicola produces in the lab at Staplewood but he certainly isn’t a forward though and neither on tonights evidence is Johnno Pace who barely touched the ball in the second half. Lee Holmes is an odd one as he mixed up decent crosses with bad first touches but overall, I can’t see him challenging for a first team spot any time soon. Maybe he needs a regular run of games out on loan somewhere.

The draw for the next round is on Saturday, when we will be away at Burnley in the league where I expect we will see a few team changes, 10 to be exact. If I had to pick one player from today who may get a start on Saturday it would be Chappers but I can’t see Nigel changing the winning League team just yet. I wonder what Phil sang to the Preston boys on the bus home…

Carling Cup 2nd Round - Swindon 1 Southampton 3

Paolo Spots His Mum in the Crowd

About a year ago, we played Swindon at SMS and I took all 3 of my kids along, one for each goal we let in.  It was abysmal and Vincent Pericard scored which makes it a bit of a low of epic proportions.  Since then, we’ve had Nigel Adkins in charge for a year and as you know, we are 2nd in the Championship whilst Swindon have just made the laughable appointment of Paolo Mussolini Nutjob di Canio as their manager and currently sit about third bottom in League 2.  When they appointed him, their main sponsor, a Trade Union, decided that their left wing tendencies didn't sit well with their club being managed by a confirmed right wing fascist.  Funny that.

The 3-0 reverse I mentioned was in the JPT and this is the slightly bigger and better Carling Cup, with a home tie against Charlton or Preston for the winner.  The build up for this match was enlightened by an interview with Matt Ritchie who seemed keen to remind everyone that he was a Pompey fan, playing for Swindon.  He obviously didn’t want to be ignored.  Let’s remind ourselves that he is an ex-Pompey player who was deemed not good enough for them when they only had 12 players.

Nigel’s team selection was interesting with a few changes but not as many as expected. Bart, Aaron Martin, Lee Holmes, Morgan Schneiderlin and Johnno Pace came in but surprisingly, Ryan Dickson and Danny Butterfield did not.  Chappers was ban free but injured and neither Lee Barnard or big Radhi were fit enough.  Most disappointing was the absence of Steve de Ridder who’d picked up a knock in training.   The 7 subs rule meant appearances on the bench for Sam Hoskins, Harlee Dean and Ben Reeves and Adam Lallana was the man wearing the armband, therefore doubling his weight.

The game kicked off with the Swindon manager saluting the Swindon Ultras (OK – I may have made that bit up).  Salute or no salute, Saints dominate from off and have their first chance on 5 minutes as a cross from Johnno Pace is met by the skipper who drilled wide due to being off balance thanks to the extra weight on one arm.  It didn’t take long for the Ultras to fall silent as Schneiderlin worked the ball out to Holmes on t he right who, remembering that he’s left footed, cut onto it and delivered a superb cross for the Gulyman to nod in from close range for 1-0.  Easy.

Morgan Schneiderlin showed his liking for boats by catching a Ferry (tumbleweed moment) and getting himself booked, possibly in 6 month old retaliation as Ferry was a right niggly little twat who got sent off in the league game at SMS.   All is forgotten though as the Gulyman threads one through for Johnno Pace to run onto and drill through the keeper who made a right bollocks of it, for 2-0.

In a typical measured response to going 2-0 down, Mussolini makes a tactical sub with a bewildered looking forward who hadn’t received a pass all night, coming off.  There were a couple more Saints chances before Mussolini’s tactical magic could pay off when Cork scuffed at a Richardson cross and saw his effort pushed wide and then Johnno Pace did his usual when presented with a heading opportunity and slid it wide off of his face.  Half time and a very good performance so far.

The second half seemed to almost be being played at walking pace as Saints settled for what they had and Swindon didn’t have the ability to make anything happen.  Occasionally some football broke out with Richardson firing in a long range left footed shot which the keeper held easily enough.  Radio Solent was playing loud and clear through the much maligned Saints Player and it was time for Merringtitus with “what we don’t want to do is let in a goal”.

With Dave being the Nostradamus that he is, we immediately let in a goal out of nowhere as Richardson challenged Kerrouche who went down like he’d been hit by a lorry, rather than by a large Northerner.  The cheating bstrd then rubbed salt in the wounds by curling an excellent free kick over the wall and past Bart before he could move.  They say cheats never prosper but they clearly do.  Didn’t di Canio once spurn a goalscoring chance so an opposition player could get treated?  I wonder what he made of that.

No matter as it was now 2-1 and suddenly from out of nowhere, Swindon had a chance of equalizing and forcing extra time which would have quite frankly been ridiculous given the flow of the game.

My Merringtitus returned with “what we don’t want.... is extra time” but we nearly had it when Clarke met a cross at the near post and slammed it wide when it looked easier to score.

Sensing that Swindon may be building up a head of steam, Nigel summoned some big players from the bench with Sir Rickie and Deano replacing Johnno Pace and Lee Holmes, the latter of which had enjoyed a really good game.  In no time it was all over as Sir Rickie found himself shrugging off the last defender and being one on one with the keeper, a quick sidestep and a roll into the empty net for 3-1, job done, time to go home.  Sam Hoskins came on for his full debut for 30 seconds and managed to get a touch before the end of the game.

Overall, this was a really comfortable win, setting up a game at home against League 1 opposition for a place in the last 16.  We really outplayed Swindon in all aspects and it was nice to read that Swindon fans as whole agreed with that.  I have a Swindon supporting mate called Ryan who was giving it the large one this time last year – haven’t heard from him since.

All the fallout from the game has centred on an incident involving Paolo the Nutter which happened straight after the final whistle.  To be fair to him, it looked like he was trying to play peacemaker and take the issue off the pitch and into the tunnel but the TV coverage focussed on him pulling his players shirt and basically making a mountain out of a molehill. The trouble is that the media are there just waiting for him to fuck up and even if it’s not his fault, that’s the way it will be spun.

It promises to be an interesting day today with the closing of the transfer window with Saints very much in the market for players.  Reading between the lines, we’re in for a centre back and a striker and we could get both or we could get none.  There have been many stories in the press of supposed deals that have fallen through for whatever reason and Neil Warnock has been his usual bell-end self and slagging us off because we didn’t sign his makeweight defender who he wanted to use to buy Jason Puncheon. So, we’ve been painted as being difficult to deal with.   The press have agendas, player agents have agendas and (surprisingly for such a shy and retiring fella) so does Neil Warnock and for a club that’s so difficult to deal with, we’ve certainly signed a lot of players over the past two and a bit seasons.

So... transfer window frenzy to come, second the league and in the third round of the cup – not bad is it? We have an international break so we can enjoy England being shite and then a return to SMS for Nottingham Forest at home.  Bring a brolly, the secretary you’re sleeping with and your best fake Dutch accent.

Carling Cup 1st Round - Southampton 4 Torquay 1

Torquay's Finest Can't Believe Bart saved his Header

Torquay at home in the Carling Cup 1^st Round and a chance for yours truly to take his 6 year old to the game.  My dad, in his infinite wisdom, had bought my son one of those big foam hand things from the Saints Megastore a week or so earlier and the hand was present.  I realised what sort of evening I was going to be in for when I got hit in the face with the hand three times and we hadn’t even parked the car yet.  Usually we park on the Woolston side of the Itchen Bridge and walk across so I did wonder if the wind would send the foam hand swimming in the river but we instead parked near the ground so unavoidably, the hand was coming to the game.

Once in the ground, my lad was picking out the players in the warm up and realised that his favourite, Jose Fonte wasn’t there.  All the others were though but as it turned out, they were all substitutes with only Sir Rickie (Captain for the night), the Gulyman and Aaron Martin surviving from Saturday’s team.  David Connolly and Fonte had dropped out altogether and everyone else was on the bench aside from Jonno Pace who must have been a bit annoyed that he wasn’t playing.

The first ten minutes are kind of neutral with neither team in the ascendancy.  Firstly the Gulyman has a shot blocked following a Holmes cross and then Torquay have a similar effort blocked by Butterfield.  Torquay have a traditional ‘lower league centre forward’ in that he’s pain in the hole without being remotely mobile.  Dan Seaborne is picking him up and trying to try and tackle round him or head over him.

On 13 minutes we take the lead when Chaplow plays a simple pass to Steve de Ridder who cut in and fired it across the keeper into the far corner.  Nice finish but I’m not too sure where the defenders were.    The crowd sat back to await the slaughter and revelled in the first goal for the man from Belgium and it was almost as if the players did too, as Butterfield failed to clear when he had the chance, a cross and a free header later and it was 1-1, about 30 seconds after they kicked off.

Morgan Schneiderlin is having a positive influence on the game, showing the full range of passing, picking out Holmes and de Ridder with regularity.  He’s also getting stuck in and having won the ball back, is hacked down 25 yards out, just left of centre.  If you told Sir Rickie to take a free kick wherever he liked then it would be 25 yards out, just left of centre.  Bang, no one moves, 2-1.  Textbook, foam hand in the face.

Torquay decide to feed the big lumpy bloke up front and it’s working for them as Seaborne is having a nightmare, not winning any headers and not getting his positioning right.  He ends up in front of the ball at one point as Torquay attack and seemed to give up the chase as the two players who got back to clear were Chaplow and Schneiderlin.

The folically challenged midfield maestro is having a great game, playing a bit deeper and with more discipline than usual but still breaking forward well.  In the main, he’s the one coming short to collect the ball so Seaborne and Martin don’t have to revert to smashing it up to Sir Rickie.  Not having a great game is the Gulyman who quite frankly, looks like he doesn’t want to be there.  A few flicks and feints don’t come off and as a result we’re continually turning possession over to Torquay and making it easy for them.

Half time mainly passed with the feeding of sweets and drinks to a 6 year old and mock fights which I had to lose as I didn’t have a big foam hand weapon of mass destruction.   “Portsmouth 0 Barnet 1” said the announcer to which I cheered.  “Why you cheering Dad”.  “Because they’re fu..... erm, losing to a League 2 side”.

Steve de Ridder starts the second half well with some nice skill, quick feet and showboating in general, playing the Gulyman through on goal for an expert finish, denied by a marginal (but early) offside call.  Lee Holmes has another opportunity following a layoff by Sir Rickie but his ambitious chip, clears the keeper and about 10 rows of empty seats at the Chapel End.

On 70 minutes, Hammond and Lallana come on for de Ridder and Holmes and we revert to the often maligned Diamond formation which coincides with Torquay creating a few chances, hitting the outside of a post on one occasion and on another, forcing Bart into a superb save down by the post.  It struck me that I may have to do battle with the foam hand for extra time as well as protecting the people in front of me.

Hammond (“Dad, is he Richard Hammond’s brother?”) and Lallana are beginning to run the game now and a glorious passing move break out on the pitch with Schneiderlin and Lallana combining to present the Gulyman with a sitter from 10 yards which he predictably sidefoots wide in his last action of the day as he’s immediately replace with Jonno Pace.  The sub was ready to come on anyway but to the uneducated it would have looked like Nigel had despaired at the miss and hauled him straight off.

The game is made safe soon afterwards as Chappers cuts in from the right wing and the defence was nowhere, similar to the de Ridder goal.  It looked a bit like a mishit bobbler but whatever it was, it kind of went through the keeper at the near post and made it 3-1.  Regardless of it being a bit streaky, it was a thoroughly deserved goal for our best player on the night.

The game was over now and Saints took over to attempt to put a flattering sheen on the scoreline.  Lallana strode through from midfield and crashed a shot against the bar from 25 yards before the 4^th goal arrived with virtually the last kick as Chappers crossed from the right and Jonno Pace forced it home at the back post.

In the excitement of the fourth goal, a teenage girl with straight hair was accidentally assaulted by a small boy with a large foam hand, resulting in a big lump of statically charged hair sticking out from the back of her head.  Luckily, she didn’t notice though there were 3 generations of my family trying not to laugh.  Game over and into the next round and why not.  Would be quite nice to play a decent side as all the non-Europe competing Premier league sides come into the draw.  Oh yeah, Portsmouth 0 Barnet 1 so it won’t be them.

What was basically our 2^nd string side made hard work of this and but for Bart’s superb save, we were looking at 2-2 and extra time and potential embarrassment.  Seconds later it was 3-1 and fine margins and all that.  I was quite impressed by Torquay’s willingness to have a go but some of their long range shooting was hilarious as at least 4 shots ended up nearer the corner flag than the goal.  As soon as we brought on Hammond and Lallana and got used to the formation change though, we cruised it really.

It was a chance today for our players to show the manager that they should be picked and if I’m being brutally honest, only Chaplow, Bart and de Ridder gave performances that would make the manager think.  Dan Seaborne probably made him think that he needs a new centre half as soon as possible.   We got back to the car in time to hear Diamond Dave eulogising about Bart’s save... “Gordon Banks, I tell you what”.   Hmmm, let me think, Gordon Banks saving from Pele, probably the best player ever, England v Brazil, World Cup 1970 in front of nearly 67,000 people and a TV audience of millions with the whole country behind him against Bart saving from Torquay's finest - Basil Fawlty, Southampton Reserves v Torquay, Carling Cup 2011 in front of about 26,000 empty seats on Saints Player Pay-Per-View.  No comparison.

Next up is Barnsley away and a return to league action as long as there are no Barnsley riots at the weekend.  I can maybe see Chappers starting at right midfield on Saturday as Barnsley away might not be The Gulyman’s cup of tea.  Whoever plays though, we go full of confidence and another 3 points would be very nice, please.

Carling Cup 2nd Round - Southampton 0 Bolton 1

1979.... when the League Cup were a proper competition

The League Cup is a funny beast. When I started watching football in the 70s, it had just become a big deal and Saints reached the final in 1979 which was my first proper visit to Wembley. My actual first visit was the charity Shield in 1976 but 1979 was the first ‘real’ experienced. It mattered, I was desperate for us to win, we lost and I cried all the way home. I was 36. In fact, I was only 10. I dunno when the League Cup started to lose its status but I’m guessing it was the Premiership started and it became seriously more important to stay up than win a cup. The Premiership sides don’t really give a shit and tonight, even though we’re playing Bolton who are hardly a Premiership leading light, it showed.

Always a poorly supported side when they play down here, Bolton have about 200 fans in the ground and their team shows 9 changes from their away win at West Ham at the weekend. I guess that sentimentality is one of the reasons why Kevin Davies is one of the two to survive. He’s had a good career and has never got the recognition he deserves. He of course had two spells with Saints, one for a season where his value went from £1m to £7.5m when we flogged him to Blackburn where “cows arse” and “banjo” were often heard in sentences along with his name. Rejoining Saints a year or so later to much fanfare and very little end product – it seemed he was on the way down but he’s been a brilliant player for Bolton and fair play to him. Emile Heskey has won approximately 60 England caps and Kevin Davies has none… says it all.

Sentimentality plays no part for us with ex-Bolton player Radhi Jaidi benched and replaced with Aaron Martin which is the only change from Saturday. We have a new signing but he’s not available due to red tape. Guillerme do Prado is an attacking central midfielder and he does by the name of ‘Guly’ which, in a headline writers dream, is pronounced ‘Gooley’ which is a very underused word these days. I wonder if he has a brother as you need a pair really and I also wonder who has explained it to him. John Toshack caused much hilarity when he went to manage in Turkey as apparently “Toshok” is the Turkish word for Guly. More importantly, who would he replace in the starting XI, Hammond or Schneiderlin. Maybe tonights game would be an audition.

It was the League Cup different seat lottery and so we ended up right in the middle of a row, which was amusing because we got there right on kick off. Some Kingsland old bugger who had to get up to let me get to my seat commented, ‘I hate people coming in late’. Cheeky bastard. I was at work in Brighton at 5.30 and lucky to get there at all. At 5.30, he was probably in his rest home on The Avenue, having his dinner served on one of those special trays.

Saints started well and the first near miss was a shot from a narrow angle, just over the bar from Barnard. Bolton were exactly as you expected them to be – quite direct and powerful but Saints were standing up well with Martin not looking overawed at the back. Pards had obviously had a word with Puncheon after Saturday as he was getting the ball in first time without cutting back onto his left foot. He was also looking fitter and finding more space and drew a decent save out of the keeper who had ginger hair and an orange kit The Northam End christened him The Wotsit and I’ll run with that.

We look ok up front but Sir Rickie is still not up to speed but maybe it’s the Premiership defenders making him look ever slower. He’s still a handful when the ball is there to be competed for but when the ball is on the floor then they always seem to be one step ahead of him. On the other hand, Lallana has so much skill and is repeatedly worrying the Bolton defenders with his ability to ghost into space and keep the ball under control in the exact opposite way to Paul Wotton in every respect. Barnard’s luck for the season shows no sign of changing as he again managed to get free and hammer in an excellent shot, only to see it brilliantly tipped away by the Wotsit. It’s no exaggeration to say that he could have 5 goals already this season but he has none.

The referee then showed himself to be an arse and for the rest of the first half it was ‘look at me, I’ve got a whistle and I’m an irritating shit’. The first incident came when Blake tangled with Harding and the linesman gave it our way. Blake had hold of the ball and threw it at the linesman. Not hard I grant you and he didn’t deserve to be sent off but he didn’t even get booked.

Just after the half hour, Bolton put together a class move as Ricketts totally skinned Lallana and Harding down the left and hung up a peach of a cross to where Davies slightly shoved Butterfield in the back before nodding down for Klasnic to score. Bolton celebrated like they’d just scored a goal in training – not bothered. Saints appeared bothered though and back they came with Lallana. He was worrying Bolton every time he got it, never more so than when he linked with Barnard and went down in the box. I didn’t think it was a penalty and none of the players really appealed which was enough for the Whistling Arse to book him for diving. We managed to waste a glorious chance to level right on half time as Lallana won the ball, to Barnard, to Puncheon, nice through ball back to Lallana in the inside left position 15 yards out, from where he curled it wide when he really should have done better.

Half time, 1-0 down but playing ok. As Bolton emerged from the tunnel and lined up, we had Matt Taylor over our side of the pitch. He’s the one I remember most from our infamous 4-1 defeat at Fratton Dump – giving our fans the large one. He’s got the obligatory footballer sleeve of tattoos. It looks ok on some players because it fits their image – Marco Materazzi for example is a hard bastard and the tats add to that image. Matt Taylor looks soft as shite so the tats just make him look like a twat. Though he’s an ex-Saint, Wayne Bridge falls into this category as well.

Anyway, I digress – back to the game and Aaron Martin is continuing his good game, giving Davies as good as he gets. He sometimes takes the old maxim of ‘play the way you’re facing’ a bit seriously which leads to him clearing it 50 yards the wrong way on occasions but the boy is doing well. We are competing well all over the pitch, with Captain Deano leading the way and smashing into whoever came near him.

Punch playing well today and combined well again with Barnard before again drilling in a low shot which was fumbled and recovered by the Wotsit. The Wotsit is at it again a few minutes later when Sir Rickie sets up Butterfield 25 yards out who hits a decent low strike which is flapped off for a corner. As I said, Punch is having a decent game but he gets the crowd howling at him with two diabolical set piece deliveries in two minutes which both hit the first man, somewhere near the knee.

Bolton nearly clinched it soon after when Harding made a right bollocks of a Taylor cross, nodding it into the path of Elmander who hooked goalwards where Superkelv made an excellent save to tip over. By this time, Saints had thrown on Connolly, Chamberlain and Heather Mills and it was Connolly who came closest with the Wotsit tipping over his goalbound drive from the edge of the box. The final chance which you always get, unfortunately fell to Jose Fonte who chipped up Harding’s pass before trying to volley goal of the season and shanking it horribly wide.

The final whistle blew and though we’d lost, the crowd applauded the effort and there was no booing at all. A really good effort by Saints but again, no breaks and an inspired goalkeeper. We were unlucky to lose but I also think that Bolton could have put a lot more in if they’d wanted to. There were many positive thing to come out of it, especially in the performances of Aaron Martin and Adam Lallana, one proving that they could be a regular in the Saints side this season and the other proving that he wouldn’t look out of place in the Premiership. As for Hammond v Schneiderlin – only one winner in my book and he’s the one with the name my Dad can pronounce. Yes Hammond lost possession a couple of times through being too ponderous but he got through a lot of work and put in some big hits and got the crowd chanting his name. Morgan was Morgan as usual, did some lovely things to make space for himself but invariably did very little where it mattered.

If you want to look for another positive then this was our lowest priority competition of the season. You see, it’s not just the Premiership clubs who don’t care about the League Cup as teams looking for promotion or worrying about relegation don’t give a toss about it either.

Carling Cup 1st Round - Southampton 2 Bournemouth 0

Bournemouth fans unamused at losing

The big question for me on the lead up to this game was – ‘Do I hate Bournemouth like I hate the Skates?’. I was at the game in 1987 when we drew 2-2 and got knocked out 3-2 on aggregate and all I remember is Tim Flowers having a mare. I remember no feeling of hatred towards them or feeling any worse afterwards than I did when we lost to anyone really. Following their promotion last year, they are now in the same Division as us for the first time since the 60s I think which is a fact they have been playing up to. You expect it from the fans but you don’t really expect it from their chairman, who decided to stir it up a bit by calling us ‘stagnant’. You could say we were stagnant when we were finishing 4th bottom of the Prem every year but you can’t really say we’ve been stagnant as we’ve been plummeting down the divisions. It struck me a bit of cheap shot point scoring but each to their own.

Outside the ground there was no overbearing police presence and there was no sinister atmosphere, nor the smell of rotting fish. Inside there was a lot of Bournemouth fans but no real sense of aggro and I wasn’t sitting in my seat, seething at their presence in my ground. They tried to get a ‘scummers’ chant going which was a bit sad I thought.

To the teams and Saints changed a few from Saturday. Seaborne came in for Jaidi which Dickson replacing Harding at left back. The newly named Alex Chamberlain (nee Oxlade-Chamberlain) was on the right of midfield with Lallana fit to start on the left. Schneiderlin was clearly tired after his 20 minutes on Saturday and his place went to The Late Paul Wotton who is not called this because he is dead. Up front we had Barnard and Puncheon but the biggest cheer was for the inclusion of Sir Rickie on the bench. Another notable bench warmer was Tony Garrod, an academy striker who I knew nothing about at all. For Bournemouth, I was looking forward to seeing what Brett Pitman could do against Jose Fonte who would be the best defender he’s played against by a mile.

We made a decent start again and were buzzing around the Bournemouth box without working the keeper. Barnard was up front on his own really but was making a nuisance of himself and making a decent job of it. Punch initially looked like he was unsure of his position but did cause the first save of the afternoon as the amusingly named Schwan Jalal got down to hold his shot.

The middle fifteen minutes of the first half were more attritional in the midfield areas and Dean Hammond went into the book for a ridiculous scythe tackle which was so bad I was convinced that it was the Late Paul Wotton arriving on the scene, 20 minutes after the ball has gone.

Following a general battering of Lee Barnard by the Bournemouth centre backs, Bournemouth were then awarded what looked like a generous free kick for not a lot by Seaborne. Right on the edge of our box and the referee was by this time, beginning to get on my nerves a bit. I feared the worst when Pitman hit it well but instead of bulging the net, it flew about a yard over. Saints then went the closest they’d been as Lallana fed Chamberlain who fired in a good, low, left footed effort which was on its way until Jalal got fingertips to it to push it wide. Bastard. YEAH-ooooooooooh.

The first half ended with the Ryan Dickson comedy 10 minutes. Firstly he got in a great position to cross into the box and instead of doing so, attempted some sort of wanky drag back which ended in him being in one place and the ball being 10 yards from him and with a Bournemouth player who was laughing. Captain Hammond administered a deserved bollocking as we had 8 players forward at the time. Dickson probably needed to get to half time to settle down after that but he made the mistake of passing to The Late Paul Wotton who smashed it back at him, causing Dickson to ‘control’ the ball straight to Pitman who ran through and smashed wide across the goal. Looking back it was funny. You try and play a 1-2 but instead of a 1-2, it’s a 1-Fucking have it.

Half time and no Chuckle Brothers to listen to as I’m not in my usual seat. I survived this trauma and the teams emerged for the second half and it became apparent that Pards was not a fan of the Ryan Dickson comedy 10 minutes as Dan Harding was on in his place, determined to make up for his own comedy show on Saturday.

Saints on the attack and Dan Seaborne flicked a Puncheon corner goalwards where a defender did his job and easily headed it off the line. The shit ref was still giving Barnard nothing for being repeatedly assaulted and he repeated his first half masterclass by again giving Bournemouth a free kick on the edge of our box for completely sod all this time which once again, Pitman wasted, this time firing into the wall.

The game was beginning to open out a bit and on 65 minutes the deadlock was broken when Puncheon found Lallana, whose marker had dozed off a bit, who managed to cut onto his right foot and from 20 yards, curl a shot over Jalal and into the far top corner. Lovely goal and how the Bournemouth boy enjoyed it. He celebrated by getting cramp and 10 minutes later was replaced by Lee Holmes.

Bournemouth weren’t threatening much and they must have been delighted to see Sir Rickie come on for Barnard for the last 10 minutes. Barnard led line superbly in my opinion and had run himself into the ground for the cause. Saints looked a team transformed with the substitution though and Sir Rickie immediately fastened onto a Hammond pass and after a little run, forced Jalal into a low save.

Sir Rickie and Deano were again involved five minutes later as they combined to send Chamberlain through. Keeper and centre half should have dealt with it but they were indecisive and following a bit of a lucky rebound, Chamberlain was left with the ball and and empty goal to roll it into. Two nil, game over, Carling Cup Round 2 here we come.

In the end it was quite comfortable but for the first half, Bournemouth played well and gave us problems and we gave them the opportunity to give us problem by not looking after the ball well enough. Once the goal went in it was never in doubt and we closed it out with ease. The goal for Chamberlain was the icing on the cake and it’s always nice to see a young kid get a goal. I thought Barnard was the best player on the pitch for us, leading the line, winning far more headers than he should have done and generally holding up play really well. He doesn’t seem to be very popular with referees though as this is not the first game he's been given sod all despite being repeatedly thumped about. However well he played though, the side looked completely different when Sir Rickie came on and his presence caused the confusion which led to the goal which Alex Chamberlain can talk about is assembly when he goes back to school tomorrow. Jason Puncheon deserves a mention as he stuck at it today despite not having too good a first half and he started to play well with 20 minutes left. He’s never afraid to try stuff and even though he cocks it up on a regular basis, he’s worth persevering with no matter how frustrating he is at times.

Pards used his post match interview to describe how a nervous and negative atmosphere in the crowd can transmit to the players. He didn’t mince his words and told it how it is and you have to love him for that. In addition of course, he’s dead right. What are we doing there if we’re not ‘supporters’. Supporting Saints has never been easy has it?

So, ‘Do I hate Bournemouth?’ No. I want them to do well as they play the right way and I admire the fact that they got promoted, whilst under a proper transfer embargo. This is the kind of embargo where you can’t sign players and not a Pompey embargo where you can take the piss and cheat and get round it somehow. Fair play to the 4000 who turned up today and I hope they have a good season. I don’t fancy losing to them however as their fans (and Chairman) will give it the large one, so I hope they suck in the two league games we play against them. Their problem is going to be scoring goals though both wingers, Pugh and Feeney looked decent in the first half before fading a bit in the second. Pitman has to be a better player than he showed today as well. Defensively they looked ok but if I supported them, I’d be worried about how many headers Barnard won today and he’s about 5 foot 2 – just wait until you meet the teams with the obligatory League 1, 6 foot 5 centre forward.

Next up is the Fake Dons away and their manager is Karl ‘Bell End’ Robinson who was their assistant manager last year who specialised in talking complete and utter toss before and after each of the four wins we had against them. Keep your eyes peeled for some comedy gold in the press and on the web before Saturday’s game or maybe, just maybe, as he’s the No 1 now, he’ll shut the fuck up.

One final thought for the day… the dropping of the Oxlade. If, as I assume, Mrs Oxlade is his mother, will she be pissed off that her name has been dropped ? Also, will the oddly named Jordace Holder-Spooner-and-a-Forker have to sort out his name as well?

Carling Cup Round 2 - Southampton 1 Birmingham 2

Cup fever gripped the town again - sort of - as Premiership Birmingham City landed at St.Marys. Saints were shorn of new signings Hammond and Trotman who were cup tied and Schneiderlin and Paterson who were benched. Thomas, Wotton, Murty and Saganowski started the game.

Again, here is the story of the game from the Dublin correspondent, watching Sky Sports in his B&B. Ed Chamberlin is presenting the show and he's a Saints fan. Paul Jewell is the expert summariser watching the Saints game and he's a bell end, a classic case of a decent football player / manager who is absolutely no good whatsoever at being on TV.

For the first half, all I'm hearing is 'It's all Southampton' which is encouraging but the lack of a goal to show for it is less so. 'Should have had a penalty', 'should have scored' etc etc. There are not as many updates from St.Marys as you would normally get because another featured game is West Ham against Millwall and it's all kicking off outside and inside the ground. Quelle surprise.

Half time comes and goes and Saints finally turn pressure into a goal from Lallana. 'Over to St.Marys with more news', says Ed. "Ehhhhhhh, Merty injured like and he don't steh down if 'ees net injered", says Paul in his best scouse. So, Murty is injured and replaced by Simon Midget Gillett which is a blow because Murty is solid as you like but it's nice to see Gillett on the pitch as he was one of the better performers in last years ultimately successful quest to get relegated.

"Ehhhhhhh, if anyone's going to score it'll be Southampton"... says Paul and five minutes later, Birmingham are winning 2-1. "Ehhhhhhhh, goals change games" says the insightful one. One last update as the final whistle goes and that's it, out of the cup, West Ham and Millwall, to the delight of the Met, have gone to extra time so the fans can spend another half and hour beating the crap out of eachother.

As far as Saints are concerned, it sounds like we played really well for all bar the last 10 minutes which is an improvement when you consider the relative strength of the opposition and the changes we had to make in the team. Out of the cup which is a shame but we have bigger fish to fry and that fish is caled Stockport County and we're at Edgley Park on Saturday to play another team who should really have started this season on -10 as well. They went into administration after us but because they got enough points last season, they had 10 deducted from their total then, rather than now so were in effect, not punished in the slightest. Good one...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/league_cup/8222630.stm

Carling Cup Round 1 - Southampton 2 Northampton 0

Northampton at home in the Carling Cup and where am I ? Dublin, that's where. I'm in a B&B with an intermittent internet connection. I am pondering an investment in the the new Saints Player service in order to hear live commentary and watch the highlights etc but a quick look on Saintsweb forum reveals that it's a pile of technical issues so it's an evening of hitting the F5 key. Lambo makes his debut in place of Saganowski who is away with the Polish national team which is ironic as most Polish nationals are in Southampton. Also in the side is the walking disaster that is Ollie Lancashire comes into defence in place of Chris Perry who is getting his walking frame replaced. Ollie was a hot prospect two years ago but he has been shot to bits by 'Too Much Too Young'.... too many games before he was ready and in a struggling team to boot. Could Lambo score more than Ollie would give away...?

F5, F5

28 minutes, F5, Lambert 1-0.... get in!!!!!!

F5, F5, F5 (x 50 odd), F5, computer crash, no connection, re-boot, F5, F5, F5

Lallana 2-0

A win, in the first week of the season. Doesn't matter that it was against a League 2 side managed by one of our former disasters, Stuart Gray.... Lambert scores, Ollie keeps a clean sheet, the world is a good place.

Who have we got next, Huddersfield away, big game...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/league_cup/8197835.stm