Premier League Match 26 - Southampton 0 Brighton 4

Rambo Takes On The World

It was only a couple of weeks ago that Saints were winning at Ipswich and Brighton were getting beaten 7-0 by Nottingham Forest. Back then, I was looking ahead and looking forward to this game as a potential three points. Since then of course, we have lost pathetically to both Burnley and Bournemouth and Brighton have beaten Chelsea twice. Maybe we are not the team in form that I thought we were going to be.

Prior to those two wins against Chelsea, I was beginning to think that the cracks were beginning to appear in the Brighton model. This model of course was very similar to our own in the mid 2010s, when we bought relatively unknown players from Europe and then sold them on for loads of money, replacing them with more relatively unknown players who stepped into their shoes. It couldn’t last forever of course and with a large dollop of Wesley Hoedt, Mario Lemina and Guido Carrillo, our successful era gradually went down the pan.

Brighton have had to replace managers at regular intervals as Roberto De Zerbi went off to Valencia and before him, Graham Potter went off to Chelsea. Their latest hire is Fabian Hertzeler who is the managing in the Premier League at the ridiculously young age of 31. He has been maintaining the status quo for Brighton this season so far, or so it seems from the outside, but the only time I really paid attention to him was when we visited the Amex earlier on in the season when he was a big fucking baby, having failed to beat the bottom team in the league. It’s a very low bar of course but it was probably one of our best performances of the season and we deserved to win that game and but for a mental VAR decision, we probably would have. You remember the one, where Adam Armstrong was interfering with the goalkeeper from 15 yards away just a few weeks before Mateta threw Aaron Ramsdale into a post from an offside position, and wasn’t interfering.

The main thing in that first game that seemed to boil the piss of the Brighton manager, was the fact that Flynn Downes was not sent off before he scored the equalising goal. He got annoyed about it because all of his histrionics on the bench waving imaginary cards around, didn’t amount to anything other than making him look like a complete twat. Thankfully, it looks like the impasse between our soon to be departing manager and Flynn has now been resolved and we can expect to see him back in the squad this afternoon. I expect he’ll be given an ABK brief and watch from the bench for the next five games.

Having got the selection completely wrong last week it will be interesting to see whether the supply teacher gets it right at this time. Brighton have plenty of strength in that central midfield area so he has to get that area of the team right today as opposed to what he did last week. There is a very real possibility that Joe Aribo will start in a back three, given the dodgy performance by Nathan Wood last week and THB still not being ready to come back.

Brighton have some dangerous players in Mitoma and Minteh but they have questionable defenders and are definitely nowhere near on a level with the Bournemouth side we played last week. Having already got a point against these this season, achieved with Joe Lumley in goal, we should certainly looking to be getting something out of this game. It’s about giving the long-suffering Saints home supporters the odd good day between now and the end of the season before we drop back into the Championship.

1.45 comes around and it’s time to see what we are faced with this week – not from the opposition but from the brain of Ivan. Looks like Joe Aribo is starting at centre back and that Fernandes is in the midfield two, unless of course it’s a back four, but I doubt that. Cameron Archer starts ahead of Tall Paul, having done absolutely nothing in his admittedly short sub appearances under the supply teacher. Flynn Downes has made it as far as the bench but I’d put money on him watching 95 minutes as some sort of punishment.

Two minutes gone and Big Les smashes into a challenge in midfield and Ayari does a somersault which even though it didn’t look that bad, is going to result in a yellow card and certainly does. This could be a problem as our problem midfield area now contains a very attack minded Fernandes and Les on a booking.

We are doing the man marking thing again and five minutes in and it’s already looking terrifying. Just a quick pass forward and a one touch layoff and it’s wide open, just like Bournemouth last week and similarly, this isn’t going to end well. Aribo‘s man assignment is clearly Rutter and after a protracted fight for the ball, the Brighton man gets a shot in from the edge of the six yard box which is saved by Ramsdale. Early signs not good because there was absolutely no cover once Rutter had got away from Aribo.

With our defending already looking suspect, it’s not ideal when Bednarek goes down injured and to a very strange huge roar from the crowd, on comes Armel Bella-Kotchap for his first game for us for about two years. Even as he jogs onto the pitch, he looks like he’s towing a caravan, so this is going to be interesting as he tries to man mark Joao Pedro as he drops deep into midfield.

Rutter spins past Aribo again and drives towards the penalty area and Joe just hauls him down in very deliberate fashion. Free kick on the edge of the box and Baleba’s effort deflects off Dibling in the wall and bounces down and up over the bar with Ramsdale on the other side of the goal. More good luck.

We are really pushing our luck and the defence is creaking to fuck yet again a minute later as Joao Pedro picks it up on the left with ABK not close enough, he fancies his chances in a race against Armel and his caravan and just runs at him towards goal with ABK busting a gut to keep up to the edge of the penalty area where he sticks his arm out and gives Joao Pedro a little push which sends him crashing to the ground. Looks like a penalty to me but not today and can’t help but feel that we’ve got a little bit fortunate there, again.

Brighton should take the lead straight after that as Hinshelwood gets in a cross in from the right and Mitoma, totally unhindered by his man marker Jimmy Champo, connects with the ball and passes it wide of the open goal from about 6 yards.

So, we have luck and we have Aaron Ramsdale and another chance as one ball takes out Welington and yet again a Brighton attacker is clean through but down the other side this time as Minteh finds himself completely free and bearing down on Ramsdale but he takes a slightly heavy touch and stumbles and Ramsdale comes flying out to claim. Excellent goalkeeping.

So, having had five good chances to score already, a Brighton clearance comes down with snow on it about 40 yards from our goal and ABK is not tight enough to Joao Pedro who brings it down to Rutter. Aribo is not close enough to him and then luck runs out as ABK toe ends the ball through to Joao Pedro, who runs into the thirty yards of space and dinks over Ramsdale who has absolutely no chance. Well, you can’t say it’s not been coming, can you? I wonder if Ivan was surprised? I guess so as he’s done nothing to tighten things up. Fucking garbage.

We then have one of those attack things and win a corner as Lamptey puts it out of play. We play it short to Dibling and Fernandes has a couple of blocked shots before it goes back out to Welington on the right and his cross is overhit and heading for the top corner in but Verbruggen gets airborne and claws it out of the top corner. A shot on target, albeit an accident.

Johannes Spors Wondering What the Fuck He Is Watching

Half time. Fucking hell that was grim. Lucky to be only one down but no real prospect of this being anything other than another dull defeat. Ivan changes it up with … yeah, nothing and away we go again. Saints look to have a relative spring of their step with Big Les finding Fernandes in midfield and he slips it through to Archer who puts it away well but there’s no excitement because the flag has already gone up and we are off to VAR for a cursory check.

“Hi there Stockley Park – check Archer goal for offside please”
“Has the lino given it?”
“Yep – flag went up straight away”
“Well it’s offside then innit?”
“How do you know?”
“Well, one, it’s Archer, who is offside or grovelling in the dirt after a defender has breathed on him and two, lino’s never put their flag up straight away unless it’s fucking obvious”
“Do you want to draw lines”
“No, can’t be arsed and this gets our average response time down”

Well that didn’t take long, so clearly quite easily offside.

We’re only a second away from another defensive calamity though, as from the freekick for the offside, Webster just chips it forward to wear Minteh and Rutter have a two on two situation on the edge of our box. I’ve never seen anything like this in my fucking life as Minteh turns it around the corner first time which takes his marker KWP out of the game. Aribo is between Rutter and the ball, but he falls over and the ball squirts to Minteh who squares it for Rutter to put it into an empty net with Ramsdale stranded.

Our response is to all get pulled out of defence again and Gomez’s threads a ball through our midfield to Minteh, who has once again got away from KWP and as he fakes to shoot both KWP and Ramsdale go sliding out for a hotdog but as Minteh is about to roll it into an empty net, Ramsdale somehow gets a finger to it to disrupt and KWP clears the half hit effort.

There’s a rare bit of respite as we actually have an attack as Dibling and Ugochukwu combine to get the ball out to Sulemana on the left and Mr. All Fart No Shit cuts on his right foot before hitting a back pass two for Verbruggen to fall on, which is at least on target.

Brighton of course know how to piss through our team at will now and a ball from Mitoma up to Joao Pedro‘s feet is turned around the corner and Mitoma is away from the flailing Jimmy Champo and clean through from halfway and he accelerates away and he chips over the advancing Ramsdale as well for three. It’s so shit it's fucking embarrassing.

Ivan goes to his bench and takes off Big Les who was undoubtedly being hindered by his early yellow card and after last week’s disaster, he’s decided to give Will Smallbone another go. Will immediately gives the ball away in midfield and Baleba breaks and Will produces his average speed to get back and Baleba swats him away before smashing the ball straight at Ramsdale who once again keeps the score down.

Just to prove we can let a different type of goal, a corner comes here from our right and no one really goes for it and all of our defenders are under the ball with Smallbone and Aribo leaving it to each other and it bounces about eight yards out and full back Hinshelwood just places it into the net giving Ramsdale no chance at all. Fucking hopeless. 4-0, ten minutes to go and to quote Bob Marley, it’s Exodus.

More passive shite to follow with Fernandes and Smallbone matching Vieira and Petit in the Great Premier League defensive midfield patnerships, as Minteh gets given another glorious chance to open his account as Baleba slides him through and he gets to the edge of the box before smashing it and once again Ramsdale is the only thing standing between us and getting absolutely fucking annihilated.

The still time for another chance with Baleba once more trundling through the middle. He can trundle through the middle because he is of course supposed to be marked by one of our midfield players. Another free shot and another brilliant save by Ramsdale and pushed onto the post.

Fucking hell.

Hurzeler‘s post-game interview basically started with 'we outworked them'. Yep. So basically what he’s saying is the just by beating us at the minimum requirement of hard work, it was fucking easy. Fair play to the Brighton man as he was comprehensively the winner in the battle of the managers today, not that it was really a battle. Pull the defenders all over the pitch and piss through the open space motorway down the middle. Juric was at least honest in that he said that they were miles better than us and he later came out with the gem that he has decided that the man for man system doesn’t work for us. Well done mate, the rest of us worked out a couple of months ago you fucking idiot.

It Was At This Precise Moment, That He Knew He Had Fucked Up

I’m not quite sure because there is so much shit to wade through but I’m pretty sure that even though we have lost games by more than that this season, today was the most inept performance of the season and that’s in a season that included letting in five goals in the first half at home in one game. Let this address the scoreline first - it was only four because Aaron Ramsdale was brilliant and without him it could easily have been double that I really hope he gets a move to a decent club in the summer. His performance in that game was up there with the best goalkeeper performances I’ve ever seen from a Saints goalkeeper. We’re talking Antii Niemi and Peter Shilton levels of goalkeeping there. I’d like to shake his hand and then apologise for the absolute shit show that he has joined. Russell Martin must have done a great sales job on the club for him and I bet Ramsdale signed, then turned up on day one and thought “what the fuck have I done”

So, our defensive system, the signature tactic of Ivan Juric. Man for man with all three central defenders all tightly marking their players wherever they go. Bournemouth pissed through it last week by keeping hold of the ball and their forwards dropping deep bringing the defenders with them or by running at defenders and committing them. Brighton pissed through it at will, simply by dragging players away and then speeding up the passing for a couple of seconds and knocking the ball off first time. That was all it took and then they were clean through with our half of the pitch to run into. So simple but yet our caretaker supply teacher persists with it game after game. On top of that, we are playing a back three with the championship level full-back, a player who hardly kicked a ball for two years and a midfielder who is not the most athletic. If you could’ve put a pound on Saints playing a large proportion of a Premier League match with a back three of Aribo, ABK and James Bree, then you’d probably have about 20 grand to spend on something other than watching this shit week in, week out.

Of Ivan Juric’s other decisions today. Well., starting Joe Aribo in a back three was a 100% disaster and proves again that there’s a world of difference between ‘filling in’ at the end of a game in a strange position, and starting a game there. Bringing Cameron Archer in to play up top was another failure but not a disaster because it wouldn’t have mattered who played up top with the defending we were doing. We are however going to have to invent a new standard for the word lightweight. I struggle to remember a forward that we’ve ever had who is as lightweight as Cameron Archer. If we are to use boxing definitions, he’s not just lightweight he’s one of the several levels beneath that so that could be featherweight, bantamweight, flyweight or straw weight. Archer had one good moment when he took that pass from Fernandes and scored but at the end of the day, it was a shit moment because he was looking right across the line and was obviously off side. Other than that it was the usual lack of determination to get to the ball and falling over when breathed upon and not winning any free-kicks. The long awaited performance of Armel Bella-Karavan was exactly what we expected it to be. Fair play to him for lasting 80 minutes, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a player blowing out of his arse as much as that since the days of Terry Hurlock just before he retired.

I know that Hurzeler has got better players at his disposal and their club is run considerably better than ours is but in our dugout you have a manager with a long playing career in Italian football and a full Croatian International, who has also managed in Serie A for a number of years, getting completely outwitted by a manager who is barely out of fucking school and never played the game to any decent level.

Shall I Change Anything Mid-Game? Nah!

Some fans won’t understand why there’s any criticism of the manager as he has a pile of shit to work with and I get that. However, I’m seeing nothing from him at all and I want the possibility that there is even the slightest chance that Ivan Juric will be in charge next season, completely removed. Personally, I would put Simon Rusk in charge for the rest of the season and with it and also, I would announce that this is just to get to the end of the season and we will reassess in the summer. We are so shit it is unreal and though he has shit tools to work with, I don’t think this manager would get a tune out of anybody. Another stubborn one trick pony who refuses to change a thing, either in-game or from week to week, despite overwhelming evidence of what he is doing is never going to work. Pure definition of madness. A Caretaker supply teacher manager. He’s basically Ruben Selles without the nice clothes. It probably won’t happen because Dragon Solak was backing him on national media only three weeks ago but one win out of nine would get most managers sacked and the fact is that we’ve actually got worse. After the West Ham game there seem to be some semblance of a plan and a sense that things might get better but since he’s established his signature tactics on the team, it’s just got worse and worse.

Chelsea away on Tuesday sure no doubt to be a chance for the out of form Cole Palmer to fire himself back to the top of the Premier League goal scoring charts. Juric has promised to change his defensive system but let’s see just how much he can do to undo the shit habits he’s instilled in the three days between the games. I am not hopeful.

12 games to go and this shit will be over

Premier League Match 13 - Brighton 1 Southampton 1

 

Flynn Downes - Boiling Piss Wherever He Goes

A trip to Russell Martin’s hometown of Brighton to take on the Seagulls at the Amex. There was a time a few years ago when Brighton Chairman Tony Bloom held up Saints as the club that Brighton aspired to be - how times change. The timing of this was around 2016, before our club was bought by Chairman Gao, who subsequently allowed it to rot for four years, which has led us largely to where we are today, desperately swimming against the tide and trying to survive in the Premier League and so far, not making a very good job of it.

Brighton on the other hand have continued to buck the trend and confounded the naysayers, including myself, by continually replacing players and replacing managers and always seeming to get stronger. Chris Hughton did a good job then Graham Potter came in and improved on it, then Robert de Zerbi came in and improved on it again and now they’ve passed over to Fabian Hurzeler, who at the ridiculously young age of 31, has made a very good start to life in the Premier League. The same thing has happened with players, with the likes of Moises Caicedo and Alexis Mac Allister moving onto the bigger clubs for huge amounts of money, but replacements being found and seamlessly embedding themselves in the Brighton team. Which South Coast team aspires to be the other one now?

We arrive of course in absolutely desperate need of some points and Russell Martin himself has to be right on the edge now. Personally I feel that it will take any sort of sign of the players are not playing for him, for him to lose his job.  He has some decisions to make today around formations and replacements from the Liverpool game. Hopefully Tall Paul will have recovered but there’s no way Adam Lallana will be fit to play against his former club. Will we continue with Flynn Downs in the back three and will we can continue with Wee Man as one of the full backs?

Brighton will be expecting to win this game easily because they go up to 2nd in the league, even with a point. As everyone knows however, most Brighton fans are Arsenal and Spurs fans and Brighton are their second favourite team. It’ll be interesting to see if a sense of entitlement is there from the Seagulls fans.

Team news drops and it’s another strange starting lineup, starting with Mr. Vibes, Joe Lumley being in goal. The story was that Alex McCarthy was playing through injury to start against Liverpool and probably as a reaction from that game, or possibly because of the two crap goals he played a part in, we are now down to our fourth-choice keeper.  Yuki Sugawara comes back into the team at full-back and it looks like KWP is being deployed as a central defender with both he and Ryan Manning starting the game. Tall Paul has not recovered from the Liverpool game and so Cameron Archer comes back into the team.

Saints make a bright enough start and win a corner on the right, which is swung in by Manning, headed clear and Fernandes shot is blocked which sets up a Brighton break. One long pass forward towards Mitoma which should be cut out easily by Sugawara but as he has done a couple of times this season, he seems totally unaware of where the opposition player is and gifted the ball to the Brighton forward with Lumley was in no man’s land. Mitoma decided to take the shot early and put it wide. Fortunate.

Georginio Rutter is next to have a go, having jinked across the top of the box to work the ball onto his left foot, the man who did absolutely fuck all in three games against us for Leeds last season, puts his effort just wide. Having shown us what he wanted to do, we let him do it again and Rutter has another go from the next attack as he once again puts it onto his left foot and it sets off for the far post, past the dive of Lumley and hits the post and away. We are very fortunate to still be level.

Flynn Downes gets deservedly booked for bringing down Welbeck, thus earning himself a suspension for the next game, and Welbeck nearly exacts his revenge a couple of minutes later as Mitoma puts a cross over, which the former England man meets well and guides a header past the flat footed Lumley but also past the post.

It seems inevitable that Brighton are going to score in a minute and sure enough it comes as O’Riley, who we were of course heavily linked with the summer, takes a quick free kick to Lamptey and the vertically challenged fullback who makes Ryan Fraser look big, puts in a cross from the right which floats over Stephens is allowed to bounce in the box and Sugawara has once again dozed off and Mitoma comes in and meets it with his head and gives Lumley no chance at all. Shit defending.

Saints show a little bit of life after the goal and as we approach half-time, Sugawara shows that he’s a much better attacking player than he is a defender by being the free man at the end of a flowing move up the right and his low cross really should be buried by Cameron Archer but he shins it over the bar from about 6 yards. You don’t need anyone to tell you that we really need to be taking those sort of chances.

Half-time And honest, that’s been pretty shit and we are going to have to be a lot better in the second half.  The forwards have barely been involved and we are not looking like we have a goal in us.  We have to come out stronger in the second half as one more Brighton goal and that will be that.

However, the second half doesn’t start great as Mitoma runs at THB, who blocks him off and gets booked and is therefore suspended for the next game. In comes the free kick out, headed out and O’Riley’s effort is easily saved by Lumley.

The one thing that Lumley does bring is a sense of calmness with the ball at his feet and he starts to move which sees Fernandes finding Dibling, who has come off the right wing. His ball low into Armstrong‘s feet sees him turn and smash the ball at the defender behind him as per usual, but it rebounds left and Manning picks it up and finds Armstrong again who this time takes too many touches and sees his shot blocked but it bounces back out to Flynn downs on the penalty spot and he smashes it into the net. Fucking get in.

It's a beautiful moment as Downes has been getting away with a few challenges, much of the annoyance of the Arsenal and Spurs fans in the Brighton end, and the Brighton manager seems to be getting very very pissy with it and it’s not long before he is withdrawn and replaced with Aribo and at Sugawara is replaced with Wee Man, before he can do something else disastrous defensively.

Dibling battles for the ball on the right and goes past three players before setting out across the pitch and finding Wee Man on the left.  Wee Man goes for it and his low cross is missed by Armstrong and Cameron Archer meets it at the back post and rams it into the net. Get the fuck in there…. Oh do fuck off…after the ball hits the net, the flag goes up and so we are off to fucking VAR again.

Hi there Jarrad, it’s Robert Jones at Brighton

G’day mate, I knew it was you as there’s only one game on a Friday

On field decision is offside against Archer

[Time goes by, civilizations rise and fall]

G’day mate, he’s not offside, verdict is green, you can give the goal

Yeah, about that Jarrad and you know…. ‘the directive’

What… the directive brought in after Saints got shafted at Wolves?

Yeah, find any reason possible to back up the on field decision, especially if it’s a disallowed goal, even if it's fuck all to do with the actual on field decision... so we can a) show these match going fans that we control their happiness and b) so we don’t look shit.

OK, well Armstrong is offside but he hasn’t touched the ball

Oh, we can’t disallow it for that then

Well we could…

How?

Well, he’s kind of flicked a heel at it… and you know, he may have back heeled it from behind him, over his own head and into the top corner, whilst running at full pelt with a defender up his arse

And the goalkeeper will have been impacted by that, wouldn’t he Jarrad?

Err yeah, definitely would have reacted to that threat and otherwise, could have claimed the ball from his position of fifteen yards away from it.  You can tell all that by the way he didn't react at all.

Disallowed then.

What an absolute load of shit.

When Is a Goal, Not a Goal?

With us all fully expecting someone to fuck it up and give the game away now, Joe Lumley makes his first shite pass of the game straight to a Brighton player and then when it eventually comes back into the box, Rutter tries an acrobatic volley which hits a defender and goes wide for a corner, which leads to header by Dunk which is comfortably over the bar.

Joe Aribo has been a positive influence since he came onto the pitch and he drives forward through the middle before finding Dibling on the right and with defenders backing off because they are shit scared of him, he works onto his left foot but can only fire it straight at Verbruggen.

With time running out we make a couple of joke substitutions with Armstrong and Archer being removed for the new chuckle Brothers of Brereton Diaz and Sulemana.  Brighton still look the more likely with Van Hecke bringing a comfortable save out of Lumley before Mitoma skins KWP and his low cross is toed onto the outside of the post and wide by a combination of a Brighton forward and THB.  As time ticks away another ball into our box sees Ayari throw himself to the ground under challenge by Wee Man but he’s offside anyway, so he’s not gonna get that one.

There is one more chance for us as Fernandes does some brilliant work in midfield to get free and plays a lovely ball over the top to Sulemana who is already running towards goal but not looking where the ball is and it hits him on the heel and bounces to safety. £25 million we paid for that. Fucking useless. Straight from that Brighton go up the left and Dibling flies into a tackle against Mitoma and picks up a yellow card, which means he will miss the next game as well. Fucking hell.  Not many Brighton fans saw that part of the game because a) they'd left and b) they all really support Spurs or Arsenal.

As the managers shake hands at the end, Fabian Hurzeler can’t resist being a dickhead and makes a little comment which Russell Martin takes offence to and it all gets a bit handbags. Oh look, a sense of entitlement. Prick.  I didn’t really have an opinion on the new Brighton manager before, other than being impressed by the start he’d made, but now I think he’s a twat.

Meanwhile, oh goody, let’s talk about VAR again and how it is taking the joy out of football and is a bag of inconsistent shite. The last game we played at Brighton had a Theo Walcott goal disallowed for a toenail offside that couldn’t be proven after five minutes of replays – that was the moment that killed VAR for me and here we are today, back in Brighton.  Today we’ve had this goal from Cameron Archer ruled out. In order to understand the context from a Saints point of view, you have to take into account the goal that Arsenal got given against us at the Emirates earlier on this season. I would have no problem with Archer’s goal being ruled out, if the Arsenal goal a few weeks ago had also been ruled out and consistency had been applied. 

The Arsenal incident and today’s instant are virtually the same as in both cases the cross comes in, an offside player in the middle misses the ball and player at the back post scores. The only difference is that the ball went over Merino in the Arsenal game and it went behind Adam Armstrong today. Arsenal got given the goal against Saints, Saints had it disallowed.  The official explanation that Armstrong‘s movement impacted Verbruggen (the Brighton keeper) and his ability to claim the ball, is absolute horseshit.  The explanation given to Russell Martin afterwards was that the on-field decision carries weight in VAR investigations and so the Arsenal goal was given on-field, whereas Saints goal was disallowed for offside against a player who wasn’t offside, in Cam Archer.  They spent three minutes checking the on-field decision, which was that Archer was offside, and when he wasn’t and the ‘weight’ argument is therefore null and void, they go off and find something else to disallow it for which was nothing to do with the on-field decision and tenuous at best. And another thing, the on-field decision didn’t seem to carry any weight two weeks ago at Wolves, when our goal was given and then ruled out for a collision that could have been interpreted either way.  

Basically, VAR is a massive inconsistent mess and is completely subjective which is not the way it was supposed to work. Interfering with play is a subjective call unless it’s a completely obvious ‘standing directly in front of the goalkeeper’ type of thing but today, and with the Brighton game two years ago, it seems that VAR are actively looking for a reason to disallow our goal. All people want at the end of the day is consistency and that’s been the case for years. If Arsenal goal stands against us, then our goal against Brighton should stand also. VAR might solve some problems, but it creates a whole load more.  Get rid.

In the last three games we’ve had tonight’s effort, the penalty we didn’t get at 2-1 up against Liverpool, and the disallowed goal against Wolves and their second goal being allowed. In order for us to prove the old cliche of it all evening out over a season, we are going to be boiling some serious piss in the second half of the season with all the VAR decisions that are going to go in our favour and we might qualify for Europe. I suspect the theory of it all evening out over the season is complete bollocks and we are some sort of cruel social experiment to prove that.

Performance wise it was a classic game of two halves. We were pretty terrible in the first half and the surprise was that we were only one behind, but in the second half you could easily make the case that we were the better side, playing with a lot more purpose and making this much vaunted and hyped Brighton side look quite ordinary at times. The goal we scored through Flynn Downs was a superb example of Russell Martin football working as we play forward and we play positively and it all ended with Flynn Downes scoring from the edge of the box. The identity of the goalscorer was particularly amusing as he was a little bit fortunate to still be on the pitch…. But was he?

Referee Robert Jones was lenient all game regarding cards for fouls.  However, for Downes, there was only one when I thought he was in trouble as the others were nothing fouls with Brighton players collapsing.  Mitoma and Ayari somehow committing six fouls each without getting booked so you can’t argue that Downes deserved a second yellow on totting up.  Downes not being sent off was a particular piss boiler for Butt Hurzeler, who was waving imaginary cards about with every challenge and I totally understand why Russell Martin got annoyed at it, as it’s dick behaviour.

Joe Lumley in the Premier League

 I have to praise Joe Lumley in goal who had a good game and had no chance with the goal that he conceded. Tyler Dibling had another ridiculously eye-catching game and we just have to enjoy him while he’s here. There is an outside chance he will be here next season if we stay up but absolutely none if as expected, we get relegated. Cameron Archer played well today other than the sitter he missed at the end of the first half and Ryan Fraser made a positive difference when he came on as a substitute. Maybe he’s the saviour after all.

One problem from today was the yellow cards picked up by THB, Dibling as well as Downes which means all three will miss the midweek game against Chelsea. Lesley Ugochukwu would normally come into the side in midfield but he won’t be eligible to play against his parent club. As with Joe Lumley today however, that will provide an opportunity for the likes of James Bree, Nathan Wood or Ronnie Edwards to come in and show what they can do.  Maxwel Cornet and Kamaldeen Sulemana will also be nearer getting minutes on the pitch but don’t expect much there.

The bottom line is that this is a very good point away from home against an in-form team but we come away with the inevitable feeling of being robbed by the officials again.  Next up a daunting visit from Chelsea, where we have virtually all our good players missing.  Bring it on.

Up the Fucking Saints.

So Russell, Explain to Me Why the Brighton manager is a Dick?

Pre-Season Part 1 - Business Done Early

 

Let's Get To Work

Just a few weeks ago, Saints of course won the playoffs and planning for the new season started in earnest.  Playoffs instead of automatics meant we have less time than all the others as a result of us having three extra matches and so you need to hit the ground running to sort the squad out for what is already an almighty challenge…. But then The Euro’s happened and so it was all a bit slow.   The cogs have begun to turn however.

Summer business started with the recruitment of someone who we had been seen in the crowd on the big Wembley screens on that glorious day.  Sat next to Matt le Tissier in the crowd was one Adam Lallana and a few days later it turned out that not only was he there to support the boys and catch up with old friends, but he was there as a guest of the club because he was about to sign for us. At 36 years old, his best days are undoubtedly behind him but it’s an experienced head in a dressing room that is going to need them in the coming season.  There is the elephant in the room however, which is the fact that he didn’t exactly leave in the best of circumstances back in 2014. In 2014 he was in the England squad as Southampton captain and was out in Brazil in Roy Hodgson’s absolute clusterfuck World Cup campaign which saw us be the first team eliminated.   Roy had said he wanted no players conducting transfer business in Brazil but there was Adam, managing to get pictured signing a Liverpool shirt whilst still a Saints player and saying that he hoped he would be signing for them.  Not good PR that.

Lallana the Last Time He Played 90 Minutes

Upon his return, it appeared that he threw his toys out and refused to train before signing for the Scousers and being seen off with a two-line entry on the official Saints website.  If Twitter had been a big thing back then it would have had #FuckOff, #GoodRiddance and #Judas all over it. He tried to calm it all down by taking out a full-page advert in The Echo which just made him look #ThickAsMince.  The question for Saints fans is “how long do you want to hold a grudge for?“.  Speaking as someone who can hold a grudge with the best of them, even I can’t be arsed to get to ten years.  The bottom line is we’ve given a player a one-year deal and he is going to try to have a positive input, so I have no problem with him being here. He’s not going to be a 90-minute player because he never was, even when he was in his early 20s but we’re going to need everybody - fans and players pulling in the same direction so I see no point in being angry about him being here.  Other options are available of course.

Next up was the official unveiling of Taylor Harwood-Bellis as a Saints player once July 1st ticked around. This was of course revealed in the aftermath of the playoff final, as if we needed any more good news that day, and here he is, England’s future centre half and probable Southampton captain if we can hang onto him for long enough… and that will be the issue if he continues to develop as he should.

THB - About to Embark on the Mother of all Benders

Another playoff hero was Alex McCarthy who managed to earn himself another two-year contract with his very solid performances in the run in to promotion.  A prime example of how things can change very quickly in football and as things stand, he’ll be a first choice Premier League goalkeeper again in August unless we bring in someone else.

Russell Martin signed a new contract as well which was an unexpected bit of good news.  It was a surprise to me as I assume that his initial contract included a promotion bonus and a higher level of pay if wen went up.  What it does do however is say that Sport Republic trust him and want to back him and to me, it says that they are going to keep their nerve even if we do have a wobbly patch, which is undoubtedly going to happen.

More Free Taylor, Rather than Free Tella

The problem position of left back was then addressed with Charlie Taylor arriving from Burnley on a free transfer. Having spent seven years out of the last eight in the Premier League, he’s a player that certainly has the correct level of experience.  It’s not a signing to set the pulse racing but it is solid as we absolutely know that he can do it at this level and again brings Premier League experience that we don’t have much of. I would imagine, all things being equal, that he will be the starting left back or left wing back, with Ryan Manning as his back up.

Next up was Ronnie Edwards, a promising young centre half signed from Peterborough. He has been in the England Under-21 squad with THB and Saints have been interested in him for about two years but finally got the deal done for about £3 million quid which is almost a no-lose gamble.   Fans of other clubs are certainly seeing this as a good deal and an impressive piece of transfer business.  Time will tell of course.  I would anticipate Ronnie being a back up to start with, but he will certainly get minutes as the season goes on.  He has played at Championship level before but this is obviously going to be a massive step up for him.

Future's Bright

And here’s another centre back with Nathan Wood joining from Swansea.  Apparently, we offered £7 million this time last year, but Swansea didn’t want to do business with us after the Russell Martin compensations dick waving contest, that their board was involved in with ours.  So anyway, fast forward a year and we sign him for £3 million.  Maybe they think they’ll win the £2 million they are suing Russell for and maybe they think that £3 million plus £2 million equals £7 million.  They certainly taught us a lesson there.  Anyway, as with Ronnie Edwards – time will tell and like with Ronnie, I can see a back-up role at the start of the season.

It has been widely accepted that Kyle Walker-Peters is going to leave this summer as he enters the last year of his contract. A couple of clubs have been repeatedly linked with making a bid for him, namely West Ham and Spurs. As I write, nothing has happened but the have proactively moved in the transfer market to mitigate the risk of him going with the arrival of Yukinari Sugawara, a Japanese international right back who was plying his trade in the Eredivisie with AZ Alkmaar.  We’ve had some hits and misses out of the Dutch league in the past with Dusan Tadic and Graziano Pellè being in the hits column and Steve DeRidder being in the other. Sugawara’s stats in the Dutch league point towards an attacking right back who is going to be far more suited to playing as a wingback than a conventional right back in a four. Whilst it probably points towards us playing three at the back more often than not this season, it is also good to have a player in place before it became a mad panic and we ended up paying over the odds because teams knew we were desperate.  Yuki’s first interview revealed a charming, respectful, humble and funny individual who will become a massive fans favourite if he plays as well as he talks.

No Caption Necessary - This Just Made Me Smile

Remember me talking about West Ham just now?  Well, the media was full of talk of swap-deals with Flynn Downes and KWP, with a bit of Danny Ings thrown in.  We all know that swap deals are not a thing any more and  just a couple of days on from Russell Martin saying that he would cry himself to sleep if we didn’t sign Flynn Downes, we went out and gave Russell a good nights sleep by signing the aforementioned Flynn Downes from West Ham. With news having broken of us having agreed a fee of £18 million. I assumed that this was all going to go through in good time, so it was still a surprise to see him come running out down the catwalk a day later, at the 2024/25 Puma kit launch at St Mary’s. This one signing above all others, gives me a great sense of relief because we were basically a mid table Championship side whenever Downes didn’t play last season, so it would’ve left a massive expensive hole to fill if we didn’t sign him.  From Flynn‘s point of view, he was weighing up leaving the club he supports and being a bit-part player against being the first name of the team sheet at a Premier League club where he is absolutely loved by everyone connected with the club from manager to supporters.  Also, the signing means that we've signed the West Ham player and we still have KWP, with West Ham now rumoured to want Aaron Wan-Bissaka instead. 

Relief. Everywhere.

Outgoings are also going to play a major part in the summer rebuild and we had quite a few from the relegation season that were never going to play a part in the squad this time around and that needed to be addressed.  The first out was Romain Perraud, moving to Betis in Spain, which is a move that is testament to having a good agent.  He didn’t set the world alight in France last year so I did expect us to have a bit of a problem in moving him on but job done.  Romain just never fitted the system with Russell Martin so this was complete inevitable. He was always a player who tried his best in the relegation season, despite being inexplicably left out quite a few times.  I have a feeling that in ten years’ time, people will see a picture of him in a Saints shirt and struggle to remember who he was.

Perraud was one of the ‘loaned out’ army of players who either didn’t want to play in the Championship, or who Russell Martin thought weren’t good enough – which brings to Lyanco.  The chest-thumping nutjob with passion for days and his own emoji (which was dodgy when used in the wrong context) is off to Atletico Mineiro in his native Brazil.  He had the odd decent moment in a Saints shirt, in amongst a fair few liability moments, and his antics probably bought him more slack than they should have in the relegation season, given the amount of half-arsed shite that went on around him.  He seemed to genuinely care and you can’t help but want him to do well. Duje Caleta-Car moved on to Lyon and in contrast, no one really gives a shit.

I Still Think Duje Should Have Just Lamped The Twat

Another of the loaned out was Mateuz Lis, the goalkeeper who we signed purely to loan out it seems.  Having spent last season starring for Goztepe, he’s now back and training with the first team. Does he have a future here?  I doubt it but it would certainly be a turn up.

There is unquestionably still a lot to do.  For example, Wee Man is still a Newcastle player.  Che Adams has left the club officially and is currently unemployed, same as he was whilst doing shuttle runs up front for Scotland in the Euros.  The futures of Charly Alcaraz and Armel Bella-Kotchap are still unresolved, with various rumours of varying likelihood being punted about on the bag of shit that is the internet during the transfer window.  Alcaraz to Spurs and Newcastle, ABK to anywhere but Southampton.  What’s happening with Sulemana?  What’s happening with Mara?

Finally, we have the enigma that is Tall Paul.  A roaring success at Trabzonspor but they don't want to pay any money for him.  The usual shithousing tactics are coming out - their board 'demanding' we accept their piss-take offer, stuff in the media that Paul will only accept Trabzonspor.  Fucking do one you clowns.  He's worth £10 million of anyone's money and to be honest, I'd rather keep him or sell to almost anyone else.

Roy Weighs In on the Tall Paul Saga

For me, with five defenders being signed already, it’s the expensive end of the pitch that needs the work now.  A striker to replace Adams, preferably a physical one and then the midfield.  Even having signed Downes, we probably need one more in midfield as well with both Stuart Armstrong and Joe Rothwell departing from last seasons squad and only Lallana arriving so far. I like the sound of Matt O’Riley from Celtic but the buzz around that one seems to have calmed down and he’s being linked with everyone. Then of course, there is the keeper situation – yes, Macca is here for a year but you assume we’d need one more.  Where does Mateuz Lis fit in and why do these Aaron Ramsdale on loan rumours not disappear.  As it stands, KWP and Jan Bednarek are still here – but be be prepared to be reading that they have agreed contracts with lots of clubs without a fee being agreed with Saints yet.  Love the click-bait.

Overall I think we’ve made a solid start to the summer.  Not a lot of money has been spent in bringing in the likes of Lallana, Edwards, Wood, Taylor and Sugawara to compliment the relatively big money buys of THB and Downes.  Also, all of this business has been done before the first friendly.  There is more money needing to be spent at the top end however as anyone can see.  Currently, we have just two senior strikers – Adam Armstrong who failed to fire in two seasons of Premier League football and Ross Stewart who has failed to stand up for nearly two seasons.  Hopefully they both prove that they can hack it this season but either way, you can’t go into a season with just two strikers.  I am sure that it is going to take time.

Just under a month until the trip to St James’ Park.  That will fly by.

Premier League Match 37 - Brighton 3 Southampton 1

 

Evan Ferguson versus Hologram doesn't end well.

It’s dead rubber time and a trip to Brighton. Apparently, we have never lost at The Amex in the Premier League. With Brighton still chasing a European place it will be something of a miracle if that is still the case after today.

Ruben Selles is in a slightly strange position today because he is in charge for the second to last game of his audition to get the job next year and he already knows that he isn’t getting the job because the name of Russell Martin has loomed large all week and it seems that he will be the new manager, tasked with unravelling the tangled web of shite that is our first team squad and overseeing the rebuild in the summer.  Ruben was of course questioned about this during the week and confirmed that he would not be reverting back to being a coach. Don’t let the door hit you on the arse on the way out.

Talk has turned to the young players in the B team and whether they will get minutes on the pitch today. The ones being mentioned are Dominic Ballard, Kamari Doyle and Sam Amo-Ameyaw. All three are forward going players so there’s absolutely no danger in giving them a game because let’s face it, our forwards are shite and have been all season.

As far as I’m concerned, we should use today’s game productively for next season and give minutes to those who may well be around. Of course, we don’t want to get absolutely battered but this game literally doesn’t matter. We are not chasing any prize money because we can’t move out of 20th position and as far as we are concerned there is absolutely nothing riding on it at all.

Brighton have had an amazing season and currently sit sixth in the Premier League.  They handed Manchester City the title during the week by winning 3-0 at Arsenal and will want to make up for their last home game which was a 5-1 defeat by Everton in what was the freakiest of freak results.

Brighton have been playing out of a lot of games recently so there is a chance that they will be a bit leggy today but leggy or not, they will surely have enough to beat us. They are Southampton 2016 and the challenge will be to make sure they are not Southampton 2023 and they carry on getting their recruitment right and replacing the players that they undoubtably will continue to keep losing to the big boys.  They’ve had no problems replacing Bissouma and Trossard this season.  Next seasons challenge will be to probably replace Caicedo and Mac Allister.  They may even have to replace their manager as Roberto de Zerbi has done an amazing job since replacing Graham Potter when he took up the poisoned chalice at Chelsea and even lost twice to Southampton…. and they’re shit!

Even with the Championship program already finished and him apparently living in Brighton,  I doubt that Russell Martin is anywhere to be seen in the ground today. Even if he’s not I’m sure he will be making notes if he is indeed going to be the man. Martin has led Swansea to two mid-table finishes in the Championship in the last two seasons and whilst that’s not anything to write home about on the face of it, you have to consider the extenuating factors of Swansea’s very unpopular ownership and the small budget he has been working with. Martin’s teams try to play a good football with lots of possession, which is great as long as you are pragmatic and know when it’s time to not do that. We will see, of course, although I expect things to be confirmed fairly quickly.

Russell Celebrates not having Michael Obafemi any more

For now, we haven’t got Russell Martin, we have Ruben Selles and it’s 1 o’clock and time for the team news and once again, it has everybody punching themselves in the face.  Having been absolutely shit on his last start and having done absolutely nothing since then, Joe Aribo is starting and it looks like he’s up front with Charly Alcaraz.  Elyounoussi has been recalled in place of Stuart Armstrong because fuck knows why, and the only other change of note is James Bree starting instead of Maitland-Niles. The bench contains Ballard, Doyle Amo-Ameyaw and also Tino Livramento but what are the odds that we are out of the game before any of them get on because the starting line-up is fucking dismal?

The motivation for Brighton is absolutely clear because if they win this game then they have qualified for Europe for the first ever time. That motivation sees them make the better start and Bednarek’s header is picked up by Mitoma who jinks inside and has a clear shot on his right foot but passes it wide of the post. That really should’ve been 1-0.

Saints settle into things and Alcaraz picks up the ball in midfield and gets away from Caicedo before finding Walcott ahead of him. Walcott draws in Lewis Dunk before knocking it back to Alcaraz and with the whole go to aim at, he shanks it wide of the near post in pretty shit fashion.  He’s the one player who we would’ve wanted to have that chance ….

We are however, playing with a confidence that belies the fact that we are shite and bottom of the league and going down.  Twenty or so passes in our our back third and the crowd around me are all giving it the ‘Ole’ and it’s all quite funny in a “we are shit but we’re having a laugh“ kind of way and then McCarthy knocks a shit ball to Bednarek who slips over allowing Mitoma to nick in, chip the keeper and see the ball hit the post and bounce straight back to the prone McCarthy.  Hilarious, 20 passes to give the ball away 5 yards from our own goal.  Somewhere in the crowd, in a disguise, Russell Martin is cringing.

The hilarity doesn’t last long.  Caicedo picks up the ball in midfield and finds Mac Allister in the number 10 position and he knocks it to the right to Ferguson who doesn’t seem to have many options so he decides to hit it and it goes past Lyanco and straight through the hologram in goal - for fuck‘s sake, what a shit goal and after three goes at it, we’ve finally managed to go behind.

Saints create a half chance as Walcott attempts an audacious effort with the outside of his right foot which ended up as closer to the corner flag as it did to the goal. We then give the ball away when Alcaraz gives a loose pass to Lavia and Brighton break through Mitoma but Lavia has got it covered and is going to get to the ball first until Mitoma pulls him back and Lavia goes over.  Mitoma bursts up the left before anyone else can get to him and rolls it across and there is Evan Ferguson to knock it easily into the net again. Paul Tierney is not interested and nor is VAR and then they make the mistake of actually showing the replay in the stadium.

It is undoubtedly a piss week challenge by Lavia but that is absolutely a free-kick for everyone else. Mitoma does give him a little pull which would usually be given by a referee but not today and once he’s not given it, they are is not going to point it out as a howler so well played Paul Tierney. 2-0

We get to half-time just the two goals behind but in all truth it’s been absolutely wank and it is also no surprise at all that Selles sends the same team out there for the second half, probably because he’s been happy with our shape and the fact we are working towards getting some good results at some point with our performances.  Fucking idiot.  

Anyway, the team does come out with a bit more energy in the second half and Aribo actually runs and actually makes a contribution, flicking a ball to Walcott and his eventual cross is knocked behind by Veltman for a corner.

Elyounoussi Signs Off

In comes the inswinger from JWP, up got the heads and it flicks off of someone and ends up in the net - fucking hell we’ve scored. Unexpected bonus. No one knows who scored and I assume it’s an own goal but as play restarts, a little ball appears next to the goalscorer‘s name on the scoreboard at the far end and it’s Elyounoussi of all people in what will hopefully be his farewell gift.

A few minutes pass and a Brighton attack is broken up when Ferguson goes for his hat-trick and smashes it against a defender and via Alcaraz and Lavia, we get the ball to JWP in midfield and he plays a lovely ball behind the left back Estupinan and Walcott is away and he cuts across Estupinan, draws Steele out and flips it over him and into the net. Fucking mental and absolute pandemonium in our end and fuck me we’ve scored again.  Or have we…. Off to VAR

“Paul, Paul, it’s Stockley Park”
“What’s up lads”
“Look at those twats celebrating up the Southampton end like they’ve forgotten VAR exists”
“I know, wankers the lot of them though to be fair, they don’t score often”
“And they were throwing that inflatable turd about earlier on”
“I know, I took that personally mate”
“Anyway Paul, I’ve drawn the lines with the help of Jon Moss and guess what?”
“He’s eating his second dinner?”
“Yes he is mate but more importantly, it’s offside by one millimetre”
“Is it that accurate now mate?”
“No, but if I draw the line from a random point on Walcott’s shoulder then it is what I say it is”
“I thought level was onside?”
“No mate, no such thing as level now, especially today”
“Why’s that?”
“Cos Brighton should have had 4 penalties at Spurs a few weeks back and we gave none”
“Oh yeah… Super League 6”
“You got it… and it has to even up over the season”
“…. And it doesn’t matter about Southampton because they’re shit and going down anyway?”
“Exactly”

Oh VAR can just get fucked off into the bin.  JWP clearly agrees and he’s saying things that Paul Tierney doesn’t like because he gets a yellow card.

James Bree has been having a decent game at right back but he gets caught out by the pace of Mitoma and launches him up in the air which gives Brighton a free kick on the left-hand side and it comes from Gross and the powerful downward header from Veltman is superbly saved down low by McCarthy and Bednarek knocks it off for a corner. The corner is headed out as far as Gross on the far corner of the penalty area and he cuts inside some decidedly half-arsed pressing by Aribo and then scuffs it left footed all the way along the ground and it beats the Hologram of McCarthy at his near post

With the game now dead it’s time for an episode of Selles Subs, with Alcaraz, Elyounoussi and Aribo being replaced with Stuart Armstrong, Sulemana and Dominic Ballard. A few minutes later we get James Bree being replaced with Tino Livramento to try and exercise the ghost of the Amex, where he first did his knee.

Tino gets involved straight away, piling into a tackle on Mitoma and he gets up with no problem and is then involved again, heading a cross out to the edge of the box where Mac Allister smashes it on the volley about a foot over the bar.

Lavia comes off and is replaced by Kamari Doyle for his debut but the rest of the game is a bit of a procession with Brighton just knocking the ball around until time runs out and so we slipped to yet another defeat in this fucking dismal season.

Today was a story we’ve heard many times before this season – we played well for a random 15 minutes in the middle of the game when we actually got on the front foot and attacked, but of course it’s never enough to win a Premier League game just playing for 15 minutes.

We created the chance in the first half at 0-0 that fell to Alcaraz, the player who we would want it to be fall to and he unfortunately missed and straight after that we were 2-0 down thanks to Ferguson blasting a shot through the McHologram and then Paul Tierney deciding not to give us a free kick for Mitoma pulling back Lavia.  I know that Lavia should’ve been stronger and it would’ve been soft as fuck, but that gets given as a foul in virtually every Premier League game I’ve seen this season.

Though I was absolutely steaming at the time that our soon to be departing manager didn’t make any changes at half-time, we came out with some more intent, scored via Elyounoussi’s flick header from JWP’s corner and we had Brighton rattled and then the moment of most significance in the game when JWP put Theo Walcott through and he brilliantly finished to send the away end mental, only for VAR to disallow it for really, fuck all.  It’s millimetres, so much so that you couldn’t tell even with the fucking lines drawn across. I know it’s us but that should be a goal, for anyone.  I have always loosely been in favour of VAR and thought that in time it would sort yourself out but it’s not going to.  It’s about 2 1/2 years since we had a goal disallowed against Aston Villa because a randomly selected part of Danny Ings armpit was offside and here we are today still getting an absolutely fucking shit application of VAR. I know people are gonna say that it’s a binary yes/no decision but fuck off, I’m done with it, get rid of it, bring the excitement back into the game.  I’d rather put up with a few wrong decisions than the absolute fucking shambles of what happens now. Scoring a goal with such a big outpouring of emotion (which is what football is all about) and then three minutes later, some wanker at Stockley Park with a fucking Etch-a-Sketch, decides he’s gonna shit over everyone’s enjoyment. Don’t get me wrong, we still would’ve lost because no doubt Brighton would’ve gone straight up our end and scored again but that’s not the point and I am honestly looking forward to next season and not having fucking VAR.  If it hits the net and the linesman hasn’t flagged, it’s a fucking goal and happy days and let’s get on with it.

VAR Can Get In The Fucking Bin

The disallowed goal knocked all the stuffing out of us because it doesn’t take much as you know and then Brighton scored again courtesy of some unsurprisingly bad closing down by Aribo and more hologram by McCarthy allowing a scuffed effort from 20 yards to creep in at his near post. Fuck me we need a new goalkeeper for next season.

Where do we start with Selles this week? With a fucking abysmal team selection for starters. Aribo got given that not today apparently because he looked good in training that’s as we found out a couple of weeks ago when he picked Adam Armstrong.  Shit players will always resort to type in an actual game, regardless of a good training session at half pace with nothing riding on it.

Aribo was lazy, didn’t press, didn’t make runs, wasn’t strong in holding off players and generally was a shit as we all knew he was going to be. Selles is absolutely deluded. It honestly wouldn’t surprise me if he thought he’s actually done a good job since he became the manager. What is it now, no win in 14 games. Any manager in the Premier League will be lucky to not get sacked after a run like that so he can demand respect and communication as much as he wants because at the end of the day, he’s been fucking useless.  I agree that there should be communication of course but he’s been shocking and a lot of his decisions just don’t make any fucking sense at all and how can he be surprised – he’s not being sacked, his contract is ending and we’ve getting in someone else.

Though I completely disagreed with Tino Livramento playing this season, he did put in a very good 10 minutes when he came home and looked like he’d never been away. I don’t see what we really have to gain by putting him on the pitch this season but it worked out okay. The other headline news today was of course the full debuts in the Premier League of Dominic Ballard and Kamari Doyle who both looked as you’d expect, slightly lightweight and with a lot to learn. Hopefully they get more minutes next week.

Our away support was magnificent throughout. I stayed long enough at the end to applaud the players off. They had put in a good shift but just weren’t good enough at the end of the day. I particularly liked the fact that Dominic Ballard, Kamari Doyle and Sam Amo-Ameyaw got very close to the crowd and were clearly taking in what it’s like to have a packed crowd of supporters in front of you. It was a good moment and sums up why you should give minutes in games like this to youngsters and not waste them on shit players are definitely not going to be here next season

Brighton’s win of course meant they qualified for Europe and fair play to them. It will be a massive adventure for them next season and one that they should embrace because as we know as a club of similar size, it doesn’t come around too often and you have to make the most of it. Good luck to them and they should are now a model that we should attempt to follow.

One more fucking game to go and it’s a proper dead rubber against Liverpool who are going to have absolutely nothing to play for either. I am certain however that their “getting ready for the beach” level is going to be considerably higher than ours. Bring it on.

Premier League Match 16 - Southampton 1 Brighton 3

 

Good With Feet, Hands Need Work

Even though we’ve had the Liverpool away game and the Lincoln game in the cup, either side of the World Cup, today feels like the real beginning of Nathan Jones tenure as Saints manager. I guess it’s the first really important game.

No one was expecting anything at Anfield and that’s what we got but with the precarious position in the league table that we currently occupy, today is certainly a game that we need something out of, preferably a win of course. Having not provided a decent performance against Lincoln on Tuesday night, may fans are apprehensive about what lies ahead today against what is a very good Brighton side, or it was before the World Cup anyway.

They got themselves in a very good position in the league table when Graham Potter was manager but he left to take the poison chalice at Stamford Bridge.  Brighton appointed Robert de Zerbi within a matter of days and have carried on picking up the results and sit seventh in the table. One of the star performers this year has been Alexis MacAllister who was a bit part player last year but got in the team regularly this season, got picked for the Argentina World Cup squad, got himself into the starting 11 and is now a World Cup winner, immortal in his own country. I really much doubt he’ll be playing today because if he’s got any sense, he will still be on the piss in Argentina. Whether MacAllister plays or not, they will still be some real quality in this Brighton team with the likes of Caicedo, Gross and Trossard. Brighton have been improving year-on-year and this year would be the first where they have not even been in anyone’s conversation about potential relegation candidates. Hopefully, de Zerbi’s new manager bounce would’ve worn off by now and they can throw in a stinker of a performance today because we might need it.

“Relegation candidates” is of course the bracket that we are in now and Nathan Jones needs to get this side picking up some results to get us out of that bracket as soon as possible. It will be interesting to see what the starting formation is today. We were clearly better on Tuesday when we went 4-3-3. Ralph Hasenhüttl never got us playing well with three at the back though Jones sought to distance himself from that being his favourite formation after the game on Tuesday, I’m sure we will see it again at some point. With Stuart Armstrong and Sam Edozie impressing substitutes on Tuesday and AMN and Adam Armstrong sucking ass, I’m expecting there to be changes.

As it turned out it was 4-3-3 but it still managed to be worrying on paper.  Lyanco was picked ahead of both ABK and Caleta-Car and Diallo got the nod in midfield with JWP and Elyounoussi.  Sam Edozie got a deserved first start on one wing but this was offset by Moussa Djenepo being included on the right.  Che Adams was of course, up front.  There was a place on the bench for Jimmy-Jay Morgan, due to the injury to Theo Walcott.

Unfortunately, right from the kick-off, Brighton are looking like they have no issue with the fact they haven’t played a game for a few weeks and Mitoma, who had a very good World Cup for Japan, turns Lyanco inside and out before forcing a save out of Baz at the near post. We have our own twisting turning winger of course in Sam Edozie and he immediately follow suit by bundling past three players and putting over across which is met by Elyounoussi but he can only direct it straight at Sanchez.

So far so good and even though Brighton are having most of the ball, we are looking comfortable enough until Brighton build down or left hand side and work the ball across to Lallana in the middle. He moves it onto March on the right hand side, who moves it onto his left foot and chips it back in and Lallana is completely unmarked to flick his head at it. The header is marginally to the right of Bazunu and he absolutely fucking clown-fumbles it into the net. Fucking hell. Yes it’s a free header but you’ve got to be saving that for fuck‘s sake.  Lallana tones down his celebration but have no fear Adam, we still think you’re a twat.

We have a chance to get back into the game straight away and it’s through the livewire Edozie again, as he tricks his way infield before being flattened which gives us a free kick. Up steps JWP for his first free-kick in what seems like ages and it’s decent, it just swings away at the last moment and goes a foot wide.

Any confidence that we may have had at the start of the game has gone to pot a little bit and Brighton are comfortable in possession and we are not getting close to them. They seem to have a spare man everywhere and our midfield is absolutely nowhere.  Diallo just doesn’t mark anyone and he’s not scanning around to see where any free player might be.

Goalkeeper, Right Back, Centre Backs and Defensive Midfielder Not Involved

Salisu tries to get in to win a 50-50 but it’s all slightly half-arsed and the ball drops to Gross. Out left it goes to Mitomo, who waits for the overlapping Estupinan before laying the ball in front of him and his first time cross is missed by Baz and it’s going to be a tap-in for Solly March but Perraud does his job for him and hopelessly slices it into his own net off his right foot. Fucking hell. Again, Baz should’ve cut it out and Perraud has to do better than putting it in his own net but where the fuck were the two centre backs and the right back?

KWP is still absolutely nowhere to be seen as Mitomo bursts down the left hand side and crosses low. This time Baz does get a hand to it which prevents us going three down. Half-time, booed off and deservedly so. That was absolutely fucking clueless shit.

The half-time conversation concerns what an earth we can do from the bench at half-time and there is uniform agreement all around me that Diallo and Djenepo should come off so we can at least have 11 players on the pitch. Unsurprisingly, Nathan Jones thinks the same so Stuart Armstrong and Joe Aribo make an appearance as the teams come back out.

Immediately, Saints are pressing higher up the pitch and there is more energy but Brighton are such a good passing side that they inevitably deal with the press easily enough mainly through giving the ball to Caicedo, who seems to have a force field around him which means no Saints player can go anywhere near him.

Stuart Armstrong plays a decent ball into Edozie, who now seems to be playing up front but he takes a touch to beat the last defender before lashing well over the bar.  Another substitution is needed on 55 as Perraud is struggling so on comes Maitland-Niles to go to right-back, with KWP switching to the left. Edozie is still our best chance of anything happening and he has a shot blocked after Adams chests a cross down to him. We don’t look like scoring but at least we are carrying some sort of threat… and with that the game completely dies as Solly March picks up the ball on the right hand side, cuts in onto his left foot which everyone knows he was going to do, apart from JWP evidently, and he absolutely smashes it into the far top corner. Brilliant strike.  It should be 4-0 straight away after that as March is again allowed to get a cross in and Mitoma meets it about 8 yards out but heads it badly wide.

The referee Robert Jones has not had much to get involved in today but he makes himself the centre of attention as Edozie jinks past another two players before being blocked to the ground by Pascal Gross. Penalty given. Interesting, looks a bit harsh to me but VAR upholds the decision with both Sanchez and Gross getting the right arse about it and Sanchez’ mood is not improved as he saves JWP’s penalty but is powerless as JWP heads in the rebound.

With a little bit of momentum Che Adams then tries to bundle his way into the box but brings down Estupinan but there is no whistle so Adams plays on and piles into Sanchez and there are some handbags. With Sanchez already having been booked, that should be yellow cards both and therefore red to the Brighton goalkeeper but Jones completely bottles it, so both players escape.

It’s just winding down now. Sekou Mara is on for Elyounoussi and he hits the corner flag with one effort before the final substitution which sees it Edozie taken off and replaced with Adam Armstrong. Could’ve got something out of the game by giving Jimmy Morgan a few minutes but no, Adam Armstrong.

Absolute fucking dog shit and the first question for any journalist to ask is – What in the name of fuck have we been doing for the past six weeks?

When you are looking at a new player or a new manager, you never want to jump to immediate negative conclusions but sometimes the evidence in front of your face makes it very hard not to do that. No one is expecting miracles but in that time you should expect to see something.  Five weeks of training and two matches this week and what improvements or even potential improvements have we seen? 

Are we playing better football going forward? 
Is our midfield structure better?
Are we defensively more solid?
Are we playing with more intensity?
Do we look better organised?
Do we have more will to win?
Do we look fitter?

Of course you are not going to get everything but surely something should be better.  Then there's the old 'new manager bounce' cliche.  New Manager Bounce is not suddenly having a team of world beaters just because the manager has changed but what it is, is an increase in performance levels due to an increase in intensity as players try and impress the new manager and respond positively to his new impetus.  Have we seen any of that?

It is really not going to take to many performances like that before Nathan Jones find himself in trouble. From his point of view, that was a performance that suggested he hasn't achieved very much at all in the past 6 weeks. There needs to be some green shoots poking through the shite pretty quickly, to show the world that Jones just might just be the man to turn it around. Today, he set the team up, as he did against Lincoln, with just one defensive midfielder. With the players we have, I really don’t see that that is the way to go without Romeo Lavia. It doesn’t help when you pick Maitland-Niles or Diallo as your single holding midfielder. Both of them are simply not good enough in that position.  Neither have the awareness that the job requires.  It was interesting that last week, Jones was saying that he wished he had Oriol Romeu.

Having been dismal in the first half, we pressed for a bit at the start of the second half but not really.  I assume we were trying to stop Brighton playing out from the back.  Brighton still played every goal kick through Caicedo on the edge of their box.  No one nicked the ball off him, no one even fouled him.  I’m just a bloke in the crowd who’d had a couple of pints and I could see that pattern so how does a well paid manager, his team of analysts and alleged Premier league footballers not see it.  Fucking joke.  Maybe the ‘data’ before the game didn’t make that clear.

So, our attacking play - the ball either went to the Edozie to run at Veltman or it was the long ball up to the striker. Six weeks of training from Jones and that’s it, is it? If we were going to play like that then we might as well have appointed Sean Dyche, who at least has some relevant experience at the top level.

I’m less annoyed with Jones right now, than I am with the board.  Jones was appointed using the data analytics approach favoured by Rasmus Ankersen, rather than by a more conventional method such as, you know, looking at any experience that a prospective manager has at a decent level of football. Nathan Jones has managed for one complete season in the Championship. Of course, he has never managed in a top league and all bar that one season has been managing in League One or League Two.  I wonder if any other Premier League club has ever looked at him?  Wolves appointed Julen Lopetegui as their new manager around about the time that we appointed Jones.  He of course has years of experience of managing both in international football and at top level club football – Real Vallecano, Porto, Real Madrid, Sevilla and the Spanish national side. After his five weeks of working with his new squad, which was lower than us in the league, Lopetegui managed to win at Everton and we have gone to the rock bottom of the league.  Of course, it’s only one game but it’ll be interesting to see the difference between what Wolves do for the rest of the season, against what Saints do.  It may turn out that we turn a corner and storm to safety and Wolves drop like a stone but I wouldn't bet on that if I was you.

Jones has got no honeymoon period and he has no grace with the supporters and no credit in the bank. One of the reasons Ralph survived as long as he did is because he had proved at one point, that he was up to the job.  Jones hasn’t got that to fall back and whether that's unfair or not, that's where we are.

Moving away from Sports Republic and their Data Driven Alignment Best Practice LinkedIn Model for a minute… let’s look at the players and what they did or didn’t do today - a number of them out there today are shit and to be fair to Jones, any manager would struggle to get a result out of them.

Gavin Bazunu has let in a few ropey goals this season but none have been completely his fault but he has got to be saving the first one today because it’s straight at him. The fragile confidence that we have in the team was completely deflated by him allowing Lallana‘s soft header to bobble through him. He didn’t look great on the second goal either driving out to try and cut out the cross and missing it but there were other factors involved in how that one ended up in the net. Personally, I think it’s time to take Gavin out first team for a while now.  He will come again but a rookie keeper is not what we need right now. We have two experienced goalkeepers and though neither of them are brilliant, now is the time for either Alex McCarthy or Willy Caballero to come in. The last time we were in this position at Christmas was in the Pellegrino season and around this time of year, we got absolutely smashed at Tottenham and McCarthy came into the team for Fraser Forster and played a huge part in us staying up at the end of the season.

Both first half goals featured absolutely shocking marking. Don’t get me wrong, Brighton are very good side and they’ve got very good movement.  Our one defensive midfielder, Diallo just wandered about, not picking up anyone and Lallana, Trossard and Gross just wandered unhindered into whatever area they wanted to wander into. With no one playing as an out and out centre forward, Salisu and Lyanco were completely confused and they didn’t mark anyone either, nor it seems, communicate with the midfield in front of them. So, you have your three main players responsible for picking players up, not bothering and Brighton also had a March on the right and Mitoma on the left, terrorising their respective full backs.

So with the back half of the team being abysmal, what do we have going forward? We had Sam Edozie who was brilliant again and got kicked all over the park but he kept getting up and kept trying to make things happen. He got his reward in the end getting given what was probably a very generous penalty. It would probably have been given as an indirect free kick for obstruction in days gone by but that rule seems to have disappeared from the game but regardless, he deserved some sort of reward for his bravery and quality on the ball. The Jones-ball formation meant that once again, Elyounoussi and JWP barely saw the ball (watch Elyounoussi's lack of movement when our defenders have the ball) but when they did, they did absolutely fuck all with it. If Edozie was decent on the left-hand side, Djenepo on the right was absolutely fucking atrocious. He has absolutely no idea what to do and when to do it and one of the things that Jones got right today it was taking him off at half-time.  It gives me no pleasure to be right but I said at the time that the new contract for Djenepo was a ridiculous decision.  If Djenepo is getting minutes on the wing, then it is absurd that Nathan Tella is out on loan.

Che Adams again was decent, showed he cared and tried his best against the uncompromising Brighton defence. How dispiriting must it be when your job for today is basically to compete for high balls against Lewis Dunk, quite possibly the best defender in the Premier League against a high ball. It was good to see Adams smash into the goalkeeper as well.

Brighton were absolutely outstanding and are possibly the best team that we’ve played this season but on the other side of that is the fact that they won’t have had or will have an easier game than that this season. The key period of the game was after the first goal and we didn’t react at all until after half-time, by which time we were two down and the game was dead. Brighton are a club with a smaller stadium than us and have been in the Premier League for less time but they are absolutely light years ahead of us in terms of the first team on the pitch and they will be challenging for Europe this season and we will be challenging for the “Best Alignment across all Departments“ trophy. The Rasmus Ankersen Grand Vision needs to start providing short-term results pretty quickly otherwise Solak’s golden boy's star is not going to be shining so brightly when millions are wiped off of the turnover of his biggest asset.   The incoming transfer window and it’s going to be absolutely crucial for us. I would say that if we do not sign four players who are fit for purpose to make a difference in the first team, then we are almost certainly going to get relegated. We are currently rock bottom of the league and deserve to be there. This is where we are as a club.

Happy New Year everyone.