League Cup Semi-Final 2nd Leg - Liverpool 0 Southampton 1 (Aggregate 0-2)

After You Claude

Here we go then.  Anfield and Liverpool, Klopp, Lallana, Lovren, Clyne and the media fawning over their every move.  We are of course 1-0 up from the first leg and I’m nervous.  It’s horrible.  I am not expecting us to get through but just maybe it’ll happen, maybe Virgil will be fit and maybe, maybe, maybe…

‘Van Dijk out for 3 months’ scream the tabloids in the morning – wankers.  How the fuck can they know – it’s just an unsettling tactic from the Scouse-heavy media departments, I hope.  Maybe Murdoch is trying to get into the good books of people on Merseyside to actually sell a paper there.  It’s not going to work mate.  It’s the same sort of tactic as used by Steven Gerrard when he was gobbing off about Liverpool signing Virgil.  What a coincidence – just before we play them – just fuck off.  As we were reminded by their media department before the 1^st Leg, they have 4 of our players already.  I wonder if they’ll be pulling that rabbit out of the hat again as it worked so well in the first leg.

Ah, the first leg.  We of course 1-0 and it should have been more and the wisdom spouted forth is that we would live to regret that.  It’s hard to disagree.  I watched a few previews and a few experts.  Those in the ‘Southampton to win’ corner – numbered precisely zero.  In the ‘Liverpool to win’ corner – Carragher, Murphy, Hasselbaink, Schwarzer, Lawrenson etc etc.  Fuck ‘em – we’ve got a chance.  If we can score then I fancy us – their defence is crap….ish.  On the plus side (for us) they have a kid at right back, they have Lovren and they have Milner, who is shit and always will be. 

Liverpool have managed though to get FIFA to come down on their side and declare that Joel Matip can play for them despite being selected for the Cameroon AFCON squad.  The rule for everybody else is that if a player has been called up for an AFCON squad then he can’t play for his club until the country is out of the tournament.  For example – if Sofiane Boufal miraculously recovered from his injury in the next 5 minutes, he couldn’t play for Saints tonight as Morocco are still in the AFCON.  Matip is arguing that he’s ‘retired’ from international football, despite only being 25 but his FA ignored him and selected him.  What utter shit?  A player could therefore ‘retire’ from international football every two years to dodge the AFCON.  Bloody typical and he’s back tonight.

In the build up to the game, Saints announced that both Josh Sims and Oriol Romeu had signed new contracts with the club which is great news of course, especially with Oriol as he is becoming a player that the big boys might be looking at.  However, Coutinho has signed a new deal with Liverpool so that’ll be all we’re hearing about tonight.  It’s gonna inspire them etc etc.  Didn’t Luis Suarez sign a new 5 year contract just before he left and we all know that Nivea Twat Adam Lallana likes that sort of behaviour.

To the teams and Liverpool supplement their dodgy defence with Henderson and Emre Cannot in midfield, with Coutinho, Lallana and Firmino creating for Sturridge up front.  Sturridge – great goalscorer, lazy selfish fucker, wanker dance.  The news we were all dreading but somehow expecting was that Virgil was out and in came Jack Stephens for his second first team game at centre back.  Steve Davis returned to take Hojbjerg’s place in midfield and the rest of the team was as we had against Leicester.  Worryingly, our bench contained no centre half with Martina preferred to Gardos.  Gulp!

Away we go an it’s all Liverpool possession and calmly knocking it about.  We’re quite happy to let the defenders have it and we don’t close them down until it either goes into midfield or out to Milner.  He manages to give us the ball three times in the opening couple of minutes.  Jack Stephens looks calm in defence for us, winning a couple of headers and generally dealing with anything that comes his way.  However, he then attempts to roll a ball back to Fraser and passes it straight out for a corner which thankfully, we clear.

The first shot comes from the Scousers as Bertrand make a rare mistake and gets dispossessed by Lallana and Liverpool eventually tee up Sturridge who shoots from 20 yards but straight at Fraser.  Another effort straight afterwards as Firmino takes aim and once more it’s straight at the big man. The kid that Liverpool have at right back is called Trent Alexander-Arnold and he’s proving lively out there but he doesn’t seem to give a lot of thought at what’s behind him if Liverpool lose it.

Right on cue we break out on the left as some nice work by Bertrand and JWP sends Redmond scampering away from the right back and towards the penalty area where he fires it across and Lovren clears awkwardly out to Davis on the edge of the box and his shot is straight enough but blocked.  It’s nice to have a shot and it seems to inspire us as we’re soon away on the left again with JWP to Davo to Bertrand and once again it’s Redmond with Arnold trailing in his wake.  Redmond drives past Matip who can’t make a challenge and pokes it across to Tadic who must score but he hits it well enough and Karius flies out of the goal and virtually sits on it.  Great chance. Shite.

Liverpool haven’t heeded the warning and are still leaving Alexander-Arnold to fend for himself but he’s not helping by over-committing and once more we’re down the left with Romeu putting Redders away again – once more he flies past Matip as if he isn’t there (like he shouldn’t be) and his cross this time comes off a defender and Steve Davis has a chance on his swinger and he swings from 8 yards and smashes it into the Kop.  Fuck it again.

The good news is that despite these misses, we have arrived at half time with it at 0-0.  45 minutes to go.  To be honest, that was a pretty good half for us with not much danger from Liverpool and Stephens and Yoshida looking excellent at the back.  I wonder if all the experts are still saying it’s a formality that Liverpool will win it?

It’s not been a great day for J-Rod so far and he’s spend most of it with his head in his hands as others missed efforts instead of passing to him.  He appears to have picked up a knock and Shane Long is on in his place at the start of the second half.  The opening five minutes of the half are pretty uneventful with Liverpool doing a good Southampton impression with their sideways passing and no penetration.  On 53 minutes, overrated bag of shit Emre Cannot has a pop from about 25 yards and it’s not great but Fraser makes a bollocks of it and it spins behind him and it’s going in but somehow, from being on his arse, Fraser dives backwards towards the goal and slaps the ball away with a big paw and gets it away from the post.  Liverpool all appeal and the Kop is going mental but even up here we have goal line technology so fuck off.  It’s the worst bollocks followed by one of the best saves ever.  It’s absolutely impossible to see how he has kept that out from where he was.  Onwards – we’ve all aged about 10 years but onwards.

Heart Attack Time

Shane Long has not contributed much as yet as we are struggling to get the ball forward and retain it for more than a few passes and then he made his mark… on JWP as a ball came in and the two of them went for it and clattered into eachother, causing JWP to pick up a knock and have to go off but Claude (in my opinion) got it spot on by bringing on Hojbjerg to give us a bit more strength in midfield.  It’s wasn’t long til our next major scare as a Milner cross sailed over everyone (because he’s shit) but it was returned and Sturridge was 6 yards out with a volley and thankfully, he skied it…. And breathe, again…. For another few minutes when following us coughing up possession, Henderson crosses it in and Sturridge meets it on the volley but no danger because he hasn’t got a right foot and it went sailing over the bar again.  This didn’t stop him having a little dive though and a quick look at the ref, probably trying to convince the German bloke in the glasses on the sideline that it was more difficult than it looked.

Pressure and lots of it.  We can’t get out at all but Liverpool keep going across and then back across, then someone slings it in and Stephens or Yoshida head it out.  Coutinho is always a danger though this is based on previous deeds against us rather than anything he’s done today but there’s a bit of a moment as he works space for a right footed shot from the edge of the box but the man whose new contract is the only one that matters today, fires wide.

Get in the Fuckin' Boards...

Redmond has tired after his excellent performance in the first half and I was fully expecting Sam McQueen to come on and sit in front of Bertrand but on came Josh Sims.  Not long after there’s a good moment when Romeu, the man whose new contract barely rates a mention, slides in on Milner, wins the ball and sends the Liverpool man crashing into the boards.  Romeu has really come to the party in the second half.  He gave the ball away a few times in the first half but now he’s right on it.

It’s a cliché but the minutes really are taking hours – 15….. fucking ages…. 14.  Corner to Liverpool, headed out, overhead by Firmino and it hits Long and a big appeal for handball.  Fuck offfffff, play on…  The German in the glasses is going bright red and jumping up and down.  Pipe down Jurgen you knob head.  I had to watch about 6 replays before I thought that it might have brushed his upper arm.  Jurgen must have fucking good glasses if he can see that clearly.  Luckily, Martin Atkinson didn’t agree.  3, 2, 1, 0…. 4 minutes to go.  Come on!!!

A ball gets played into our box on the left and Origi is onto it but Stephens is across and pokes it away for a corner with Origi hitting the deck with maximum embellishments.  Fucking diving bastard.  Stephens and the rest of the Saints players in proximity leave Origi in no doubt about what they thought but it’s a corner which Milner takes and you can always rely on Milner.  Shite corner to Romeu at the front post and cleared out to Davis and headed on to Sims and he’s off up the pitch diagonally, racing away from Henderson and Wijnaldum and driving into the Liverpool half where he draws the defender, and slips it to Long.  It looks a bit far ahead of him for a second but Shane’s touch is brilliant (in complete contrast to most of his control this season) and bang… across Karius and screaming into the net, right on front of the Saints fans… mental.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Scenes!!

You fucking beauty and we are going to Wembley.  Have that Lallana – go cry on Jurgen’s shoulder you rat faced nivea twat little shit.  They have a minute to score twice to send it to extra time but they’re a busted flush.  The defence repels a half hearted ball forward and that’s it.  Fuck Yeah!

After the whistle the players line up and go to the fans and everyone’s going nuts and in the middle of the pitch is Claude Puel, calm as fuck, shaking hands and talking to Liverpool players as they walk off.  Lallana has already gone, he’s shaken hands with the ref and fucked off as he probably didn't want to be filmed crying.   He could have repaired some damage if he’d gone to the Saints fans and clapped.  Actually, who am I kidding, he’d have got the verbal kicking of a lifetime.  Are we bothered about Dejan anymore?  Well it was amusing seeing him looking dazed and confused at the end which is really no different to how he plays these days.

Claude got the game spot on it has to be said.  He’s got it wrong a few times this season and I’m not pretending that I’ve ever been completely won over but that was magnificent from him, over both legs and he joins Lawrie McMenemy and Gordon Strachan as managers who have got us to a major final – something not managed by the much higher thought of Pochettino and Koeman.  We were set up perfectly and the proof was in how solid we were and how many chances we created over the two games and Claude deserves the success for these two games alone.  Liverpool will shit on about missing Mané but we were missing Austin, Boufal and Van Dijk and Fonte as well I guess.  I wonder what that was like in the Fonte household.  Join West Ham to win trophies but leave the team that’s just reach the final who coincidentally (or not) has improved dramatically since you left.  I guess we dealt better with our four absentees than Liverpool dealt with their one.

I’m sure that Claude will say that he is nothing without the players and there were some serious performances out there.  Jack Stephens was brilliant and put in a performance that no one thought he had in him.  Next to him, Maya Yoshida put in a performance which has started to become the norm.  Six months ago, if one of Fonte or Virgil was injured there would be a huge panic amongst the fans that Yoshida was playing but maybe that’s changing.  It should be.  Cedric and Bertrand were superb in defence and attack and the midfielders, all four who played were like machines, not giving Liverpool a second with the ball in dangerous areas and breaking intelligently.  Where have all the Redmond haters gone?  He, like JWP will be pushing for the England squad pretty soon and then there was Shane.  Bloody hell he’s been crap this season but that was perfect.  Sometimes you look at him and know he could play all night and not score.  Tonight though… as soon as the first touch was good, he was never going to miss.

There were 14 heroes out on the pitch today with every one of them putting in a performance.  Fucking brilliant.  Can’t say more than that.  As for Liverpool – well Klopp used his post—match interview to veer between congratulations to Saints, moaning about his strikers and mainly slating the referee for not getting a penalty for the perceived handball against Shane Long.  If that’s all you’re going to go on about after 180 minutes of football when you’ve been 2^nd best and haven’t really looked like scoring then you’re really struggling mate.  Maybe he’s a one-trick pony manager whose teams can only play one way?  There’s really no competition if you’re looking at who was the best manager over the two games.

Is it sweeter because it’s Liverpool and all the players they’ve signed off us?  Of course it fucking is.  With Mané at the AFCON and Clyne injured, it was down to Lallana and Lovren to carry the can for the Liverpool FC media department and their pre-first leg ‘rub our faces in it’ graphic.  Lallana was very peripheral to say the least and Lovren looked like what he is, an accident waiting to happen.  Even back in harness with Matip he looked all over the place.  Maybe his head was somewhere else.  I was spewing when he left and thought he was a great player but in truth, we dodged a bullet there. 

So, Liverpool…. you lost home and away to your ‘feeder’ club.  You lost home and away to the team that Steven Gerrard sees fit to comment about in terms of signing more of their players.  You lost home and away to the team who sign a player and then your fans shit all over the official announcements on social media with oh-so-funny ‘Welcome to Liverpool’ or ‘see you in a year’ comments.  Fuck off and fuck you.  We’re going to Wembley and you are not.  Sky haven’t got their dream final but what they don’t get is that it’ll be a better game now because Liverpool aren’t in it.

So the next round – is the final.  Get in.  I was there in 1979 for our only previous League Cup Final in what was my second trip to Wembley after the Charity Shield in 1976.  We lost to Nottingham Forest 3-2 and it was a great game but as a 10 year old, it was hard to be consoled by that because we lost.  This time we will be playing Mourinho’s Manchester United after they made heavy weather of getting through against Hull.  It was always going to be them and it will be massively difficult but it’s rare to get to a final and play someone easy.  Hopefully they’ll think it will be easy and we’ll want it more.  We definitely wanted it more than Liverpool.

Next up, Arsenal, FA Cup 4^th Round.  It’s a free hit as far as I’m concerned.  

League Cup Semi Final 1st leg - Southampton 1 Liverpool 0

Out of My Way, Bitch!

With fear and trepidation and not much optimism, I’m not looking forward much to the League Cup EFL whatever Semi-Final first leg against Liverpool.  From the moment I was walking out of the Emirates after the last round and saw the draw on my phone, I’d not been very optimistic about it but maybe there’s a chance.  They’re irresistible attacking flair has been blunted somewhat by injuries to Coutinho and the AFCON absence of Sadio Mané.  That’s their most creative player and their quickest.  Counteracting that, is our loss of Sofiane Boufal who was supposed to be at the AFCON but is instead, out of the AFCON and recovering from an injury which will be healed by the time he should have been back from the AFCON.

It looks like whoever wins this tie will be playing Man United in the final as they won 2-0 against Hull at Old Trafford and there’s not a chance in hell that Hull will turn that round in the 2^nd Leg.  They’ve even sacked old Moonface Phelan.  If we’re going to do anything today then we have to put their defence under pressure as the defence is the weak link.  It has potentially weak players like Milner and Klavan and also it has Mr.Arsehole himself, Dejan Lovren, a player with his head so far up his own arse that he couldn’t see what his wife was up to.  Jurgen Klopp seems to have toned down his act a bit this year and isn’t as much a knobhead on the touchline as last season.  It’s really annoying in that I want to hate him but he is a very entertaining bloke.

Liverpool's media department broke Rule 1 which is - don't wind up the oppostion.  They thought it would be amusing to use a graphic of four of the players who they signed from us to promote the game - even though one of them was never going to be playing.  Wankers.

On arrival in the ground, we go to our normal seats which are occupied by others and realise that there has been a bit of a fuck up.  I’d just clicked on the tickets that had been automatically allocated to us by the online system but on inspection, we were in Row MM and not row T.  Bollocks.  Up we go to MM with my 72 year old Dad wheezing and moaning like a bastard and once we got there, I realize we’re in the wrong block.  All the way down to pitch level, across to the left, all the way up again, looking along the Chapel goal line and one row from the back.  Not happy.  Dad has survived and through his panting he is calling me lots of names.   It’s actually quite a good view.

Anyway, our team news has already been made public by Claude during the week in that José Fonte is not in the squad following his transfer request.  I’m in two minds about this but the decision has been made and that shows strong leadership.  It also shows that the manager obviously doesn’t think José can put it aside and completely focus on the game, another indicator that maybe the captain has been discarding toys from his pram for a while.  So, Maya is in along with Virgil and Cedric and Ryan Bertand has mercifully been spared from rotation.  Romeu, Clasie and Davo make up the midfield and the attackers are the only three we really could have picked in J-Rod, Tadic and Bertrand. Liverpool’s team is a bit odd because a lot has been made this year of Lallana playing as the most advanced of three midfielders but it looks like he’s further forward with Sturridge and Firmino as the midfield three look like Wijnaldum, Lucas and Can.  There has to be an opportunity there as I don’t rate any of that midfield.  Wijnaldum has a goal in him but equally can go completely missing, Lucas is slow and not a player who’s going to open you up and Can is a candidate for my Overrated Player of the Season award as I really don’t see what the fuss is about or how the hell he has caps for Germany.  The back 4 has Clyne and the three amigos I mentioned earlier including Mr Arsehole.  Flapper Karius is in goal so lets do it.

From my lofted position I can see that the game starts with a period of Liverpool possession and we look terrified – so deep and not getting to the ball at all.  Pass, pass, pass – we’re nowhere, chasing shadows with Clasie in particular not touching the ball for the first 10 minutes.  Oh look, Redmond is at right back and we have the 6-3-fifty yards-1 formation again.  Is this what Claude meant when he said we needed to be in the game in the 2^nd leg?  We’re obviously going to try and choke the shit out of it and got for a 0-0.  When are they going to score?  A ball is chipped in to Lallana who has got free and he heads down to Firmino who volleys from 10 yards but luckily Fraser is close enough to throw up a huge paw and push it away.

Neil Swarbrick is today’s ref and I’ve never really had an opinion of him before but he doesn’t make a good start as Milner loses the ball and Bertrand runs it out of defence before Mr Arsehole levers him to the ground – play on.  It takes 19 minutes for us to do anything as Cedric gets down the right and plays in Tadic whose cross misses everyone and arrives with Redmond at the back post but his sidefooted effort is blocked by the keepers boot.  If you want clinical then this was the opposite of that with a lack of conviction again.  It eventually falls to Bertrand whose long ranger is straight at Karius.

The miss does seem to have given us a bit of confidence and we push forwards again on the right.  Tadic tries to find J-Rod and Klavan should cut it out but he waves a boot at it and plays and airshot.  J-Rod pokes it across to Redmond who is through with just Karius to beat and this time there’s no mistake and he finds the corner of the net.  Get the fuck in.  Believe.  Klopp is going nuts on the sideline, I assume cos he thinks it’s offside.  He sits down when the goal is replayed on the big screens and Redmond is clearly miles onside.

A minute long round of applause - more on that later.

We’re a different team now, getting right in their faces with Romeu putting together a series of good challenges and Clasie even manages to touch the ball a few times.  Davo is having a stormer and chases the dodgy Liverpool defenders back into the corner and wins a throw.  In it goes to Bertrand who waltzes round Lallana and Lucas and Tadic takes over, squirted across and there is Redmond, 10 yards out with just the keeper to beat and he smashes it straight at him.  Fuck!  That simply has to go in.  He had loads of the bastard goal to aim at too.  It’s hard to be disappointed though as the half time whistle blows and we have a 1-0 lead that we all would have taken at the start and Dad begins the long trek down the stairs to have his half time piss.

It’s actually quite a lot quieter up here than even the Family centre behind the Chapel Goal.  There’s a bloke behind us who is desperately trying to chat up the girl he’s brought to the game and it’s fucking painful and he’s been at it for 45 minutes, talking about anything but the game.  Go to the pub, go anywhere or shut the fuck up.  He looks like that Dean Gaffney twat who used to be in BellEnders.  We are discussing them when Dad comes back and he says that their as bad as the Chuckle Brothers who sat behind us when we sat in the central Kingsland before my son started coming along.

Away we go in the second half and Liverpool have possession and one thing is clear.  Klopp wants his defenders to be footballers and be comfortable on the ball and both Klavan and Mr Arsehole look as clumsy as you like and we’ll let them have the ball all day long.  As soon as it goes into the midfield then Saints press and with players like Can (who is trying to do too much on the ball) and Lucas (not good enough), we are stopping them getting any rhythm.

Going forward we appear to be targeting Milner who is looking like a fish up a tree at left back.  Cedric runs at him and Milner has three goes before eventually succeeding in bringing him down.  Tadic’ free kick is headed over for a corner and the same player delivers and Karius gets lucky with a complete flap and everyone misses everything.  They are shit at the back – come on!  This is illustrated by Mr Arsehole passing the ball to Clasie and we build via J-Rod and Tadic before losing it in the corner.  Liverpool half clear it and Virgil picks it on the left wing and has a run.  Surprisingly Sturridge has bothered his arse to track back but amusingly, no one helps him so Virgil just runs down the left wing and cuts in.  it’s he’d scored or found someone other than the keeper with his cross then the media would have been wanking themselves into an even bigger ‘sell him’ frenzy.

Let’s take a second to appreciate the majestic force that is Oriol Romeu.  It was enough when he binned the very poncy Emre Can in the tackle but then he brought the house down with a real ‘get out of the way you little bitch’ tackle on Lallana.  Rub some Nivea on that you prick.  Liverpool are not threatening at all so on comes Coutinho for his first game in months and replaces Wijnaldum with Lallana dropping back to midfield.  Coutinho immediately makes things better but they are still relying on Sturridge further forward and he can’t be arsed.  He gets manshamed by Virgil in the penalty area and collapses in a heap appealing for a penalty.  Fair play to Swarbrick for not falling for it as he’s been pissing me off but giving Liverpool every 50-50 decision going.  I think we might have won a free kick at one point.

Romeu is having a huge game and beasts Emre Can again – you are shit.  Coutinho is a bastard who usually sticks on in the top corner against us and he weaves into the penalty area and is well dealt with by Yoshida.  Maya is concentrating well today and when he does that, he’s a good defender.  If he keeps things simple and just concentrates on defending then he’s decent.  I would be happy for him to just clear the ball for the rest of the game.

A Liverpool attack, a foot in and Redmond breaks.  Cedric underlaps him and Redmond finds him.  J-Rod is up too with one Liverpool defender and Cedric lashes at the near post and wide and shit.  J-Rod is not impressed but he’s not made an angle for him, just standing behind the defender.  It was a shit effort but Jay could have done more.  He’s been good today however, running his nuts off and with better ball retention than usual.

Clasie can see his name up in lights as the ball comes to him thirty yards out and he goes for the volley, plays a massive airshot and manages to collapse with cramp all in the same movement.  The fact that he still gets cramp really pisses me off but he’s been good for the last half an hour and is replaced with Hojbjerg who is soon followed onto the pitch by JWP replacing Davis.  I find it mildly amusing that Clasie has got injured in a tackle with fresh air.  Origi is on for the Scousers, he who scored a hat-trick against us when they dicked us 6-1 in this competition last year.   There’s a comedy moment when J-Rod gives away a free kick.  He is clearly out on his feet and Long is ready to come on but Liverpool want to take it quickly so Jay just boots the ball away so he can get off.  I expect he saw the yellow card as entirely worth it.

On comes Long and Lallana gives it away and our pass forward finds the Irishman who finds himself up against Lucas on the left and there’s only one winner there.  He steams past him and gets his head up and picks out Redmond on the right.  He gets there before Karius and has to chip it and it’s over the keeper, onto the underside of the bar and out via a lucky intervention from Mr Arsehole who didn’t know where it was.  How wonderful would that have been if it had hit the Arsehole and bounced in.

90 minutes are up and Coutinho picks it up, shoots, miles over, aaaaaaaaaahhhh…  At that moment, I realise that there’s a Scouser in the seat directly in front of me.  Fair play to him, that's the first sound he’s made all game.  I know he shouldn’t be in our end but he has at least shut his trap for the entire game.  Now fuck off you knob.

That, after the first 15 minutes, was a massive performance by Saints, played with a purpose and intensity which has been lacking too often this season and especially in the past few weeks.  Full marks to Claude on his team selection and his tactics tonight.  There will be some that say that we should have won by more and that’s probably true but I’d have snapped your hand off for this result before the game started so I’m not going to complain now.  We also kept a clean sheet which could come into the reckoning with away goal counting double after extra time in the 2^nd leg.  We’ve got a chance up there.  Both team will still be without their African players and you would assume that Coutinho will be fit to start but tonight showed that we can definitely do something up there.  It sure as shit isn’t going to be easy and Liverpool will create a lot more than they did tonight but maybe we can make them look ordinary again.  Yes – we made them look ordinary which is not something you’re going to have read in the media since the game.  When I got back to the car I turned on talkSHITE and there was a post-mortem taking place about Liverpool’s problems.  You’d be hard pressed to find out who the team was who had beaten them.  Far from this situation changing it’s actually getting worse as everyone gets even more ‘big club’ focused.  Where’s the OFF button?

All the sections of the Saints team did their job superbly.  All of the back 4 were magnificent with Maya having the mistake free performance that was needed.  Virgil was just outstanding again – it’s the norm of course and performances of that stature against the big boys will mean those who get annoyed easily would do best to keep away from rumour and bullshit websites until January is over.

The midfield of course ran themselves to a standstill with Romeu being the stand out.  He would have been even if he hadn’t have smashed Nivea Twat but the fact that he did elevates him to God-like status.  Up front, Redmond will feel that he should have scored more but he put away the one that mattered and I must say that J-Rod was superb tonight, especially bearing in mind he was living off of scraps.

Burnley away is next and I’m sure that some players out there are going to be completely knackered but we should keep the same side if we can and try and build on today.  Everyone will be feeling pretty good about themselves so lets keep it going.  Burnley are decent at home but if we can go toe to toe with their energy levels, we’re better than them so it should be a good day.

We scored the goal tonight in the 20^th minute which was fitting in the extreme as it was supposed to be in the 20^th minute that we all clapped to celebrate the life of Jack Dowding, the Saints fan who passed away suddenly, aged 20 on Saturday morning due to complications with his Diabetes.  In the event, the applause started on 21 minutes and was well supported.  The Channel 5 highlights mentioned his name, as did the highlights on the Saints official website and both were good to hear.  

Jack and his Dad and Step-Mum have been my next door neighbours for the past 5 years.   I didn’t know Jack very well - a wave at the top of the drive and the occasional ‘hello’ – that was about it – and I have no idea whether he read any of this drivel I write and if he did, I don’t know if he knew it was the sad bugger next door who wrote it.  I spoke to his Dad and Step-Mum on Tuesday about how much they wanted to go and equally, didn’t want to go to this game today.  I haven’t spoken to them since as yet but I’m sure they’ll be glad that they went and the fact that the goal went in on 20 minutes will not be lost on them.  R.I.P Jack.

Premier League Match 12 - Southampton 0 Liverpool 0

Virgil Plays On as Firmino's Legs Fall Off

What’s been going on.  Oh yeah, loads….

England.  The Under 21’s were of course in action at St.Mary’s against Italy so I went along.  When the teams were warming up I realised a couple of significant things.  One was that the two men who are managers of the two main England sides are Gareth Southgate and Aidy Boothroyd.  Let that sink in for a moment.  Gareth ‘yes sir’ Southgate and Aidy Hoofroyd.  The other thing was that Calum Chambers was actually playing football after two and a bit years of almost exclusively not doing so after his defection to Arsenal before he was out of nappies.

To the game and there were three Saints players in the line up in Jack Stephens, JWP and Nathan Redmond and an early lead as Leicester’s Demerai Gray knocked in a rebound.  1-1 as the Italian right back made 80 yards without a challenge on our left.  When left back Galloway went to block, it looped over the keeper and in.  2-1 down soon followed as a corner was flicked on to an unmarked forward.  The second half was better for England and we hit the woodwork a couple of times through Gray and Baker (one of those Chelsea players who are always out on loan) before Baker squeezed a shot past a very chocolate wristed keeper.  93 minutes and a corner from JWP, a header from Chambers and knocked in by Jack Stephens which was a nice end to a pleasant evening out.

It’s remarkable how a goal can change perceptions.  Stephens was the hero when in truth, he’d had a poor game as part of a defence that was pretty atrocious.  People always get blinded by goals.  Man of the Match awards and Garth Crooks’ Team of the Week are all exclusively the domain of goalscorers.  Demerai Gray was Man of the Match and he was one of our better players but his tap-in goal won it for him.  Our best player by several miles was Nathaniel Chalobah of Chelsea (Reserves) – season long loan to Saints with an option to buy for £3 million would do him some good.

To be honest, all of the Saints boys were pretty average.  Redmond had a couple of moments but was on the periphery for most of the game.  JWP hit the first man a few times with his set piece delivery but got it right when it mattered.  He was lively in midfield but did give the ball away a few too many times.  Stephens was playing on the left of Chambers at centre back and looked uncomfortable having to use his left foot.  He didn’t make any horrific mistakes and I think part of the problem was his centre back partner.  Talking of whom…

Calum Chambers was awful throughout, absolutely awful.  Indecisive, slow, poor touch, powder puff in the tackle and in the air.  Terrible.  He’s not stood still for the past 2 years but gone backwards alarmingly.  It’s a cautionary tale that not many will heed.  The big clubs will not develop you as a player – they are only interested in the here and now so unless you are brilliant and Big Club first team level then you really are better off staying at a medium sized club who gives a rats about all their players and there you can become the best player you can be.  Earn the move on footballing ability, not because of the big clubs and their player harvesting.

Anyway, 5 goals and an entertaining game – now for the first team against Scotland.  Southgate has made Rooney captain again which brings me deep joy.  Scotland have a team of Championship players and are the very definition of average but they play better football than us as we’re content to turn the game into a scuffle and John Stones is trying to play like Beckenbauer at the back.  There are a couple of problems with this.  One is that he is not Beckenbauer and the other is that the rest of the defence certainly aren’t so if he beats two players and gives one of them the ball, someone like Cahill will invariably Row Z it or give it away.  Out of nowhere and against the run of play, the ball deflects out to Walker on the right and his cross if expertly diverted home by Sturridge who does the wanker dance.  It’s his first touch and the celebration was the first time he moved.  He only found space because a Jock defender got felled by the original shot.  The Jocks pass up a couple of decent chances with a shite final ball and the second half starts with more of the same with Scotland being the better side.  They miss a sitter from the edge of the box and then Stones actually pulls out a decent block to deny Snodgrarse and up the field we go, Rose crosses, Lallana scores with a header.  On the hour, Rooney takes a corner and Cahill gets up and heads in easily and that’s it.  There is half an hour to go but we’re done.  We could go on and absolutely bury them by 5 or 6 but we just pass it about.  Very unconvincing aside from the finishing.

The main thing that this game said to me was that Rooney is finished, done, past it.  He’s so far past it, it’s not funny.  In the form he’s in now he’d struggle to have an impact in the Chinese Super League or wherever he’s going to end up.  Like in the Malta game a few weeks back, Sturridge scored but he did fuck all else including running against a bang average side.

When I saw the team for the Spain friendly I thought it might be better because the two static players weren’t playing and sure enough it was as England played good football throughout, initially inspired by Lallana whose penalty put us 1-0 up.  Just after half time, Henderson of all people curled a superb cross onto Vardy’s head and Steptoe buried it past Reina for 2-0.  All was still going well until the excellent Danny Rose was taken off and Cresswell from West Ham was given a debut.  Cue two goals down our left hand side with the last one apologetically bobbling between Heaton’s legs.  To me, the result was unimportant but what it did show was how good a side England can potentially be if we play with pace on the break and everyone works hard.  So – no more Sturridge and Rooney for me.  The last time England played well was in the Germany friendly which we won 3-2 and neither of the statics were playing in that game either.

Southgate still hasn’t been given the job but he will be.  There will be a token scout around for other candidates but he’ll be given it.  The media have decided that he should be given it and there’s not one ex-player voicing a contrary opinion.  Not for me but I struggle to see who else is out there and available unless you go down the recently retired ex-pro route and appoint Shearer which would be an almighty punt in the dark.

Anyhow, club before country…

We seem to have had some success over Liverpool in the recent past but right now they are developing into a fucking scary outfit as Jurgen Klopp's ideas get through to the players and he begins to fully unpick the shambles left by Brendan Rodgers…. and they are currently top of the league and speak to any Red Scouser and "it's our fucking year".  The buying from Southampton policy has not altered without Rodgers and Sadio Mane has started well for them this year much to my annoyance as he is exactly the sort of player we could do with now to make our attack look better than tepid. I was hoping of course that he'd have an indifferent to start at Anfield, so that the entitled morons in their fan base and the Liverpool dominated media would quickly turn on him but of course he's started like a fucking house on fire so he's the best player ever. The one hope is that he does what he did in his two seasons with us and basically have December to March off. This year he will definitely be off for a bit of it as Senegal will be playing in the African Cup of Nations.  I hope they win it and he's out of the country for ages.

Of the other ex-Saints, even Lovren is playing quite well now due in part to the signing of Matip to take the other centre back position. Matip is an interesting player in that he's fucking enormous. Clyne has been doing as well as you'd expect and Billy Big Bollocks Lallana is possibly playing the best football of his career... what a shame he picked up an injury in the pointless England friendly. Elsewhere, they've got Coutinho who invariably smashes one of the top corner from 30 yards against us and attacking threat will also be provided by Roberto Firmino who I'm not 100% convinced about as yet.  Oh, and James Milner is at left back which is something I never would've seen coming but that's got to be a weak link hasn't it?

Claude names a very strong looking 11 for this game with Hojbjerg is preferred to Clasie but the big news is that the first choice back four are all present and correct with the Cedric returning from injury and Cuco the Clown returning to the bench. On the bench next to him is Shane Long, making a return from the hamstring injury he picked up in the San Siro. Hopefully when he gets on he'll be at full throttle because Liverpool play a very high line and for all his qualities as a footballer and a human being, Lovren is not the quickest and he is a massive fucking twat.

Away we go and the first time Lovren gets the ball there is loud booing and chant starts about the gardener who was putting the love into Mrs Lovren. Not big, not clever, not funny, much... oh that’s not funny either, Twattenburg is refereeing. Liverpool are pressing like madmen and we are trying to play the ball around but it’s seat of the pants stuff.  Cedric gets away on the right and sees his cross blocked before taking a pot shot with his left foot and lashing it well wide.

It quickly settles into a pattern of Liverpool being the dominant side and us just living off scraps and defending the crap out of it.  However, we creak as Clyne gets in a low cross from our left and via Mijnaldum the ball finds Mané and his sidefooter is heading for the top corner before Fraser takes off and somehow tips it over.  World class save.

In the main we are defending pretty well and we’ve obviously learned the Coutinho lesson.  Every time he picks it up within 40 yards he’s got players flying at him and he drags an effort along the ground and wide.  We haven’t noticed Twattenburg for 25 minutes so of course, that has to change and a rare attack by us on the right is halted deliberately by Milner trashing through the back of Redmond.  It’s cynical and late and nowhere near the ball and through the back of him but it’s not a yellow card according to Twatt.  The terrible refereeing has riled the players so for the next few minutes the gloves are off and tackles are flying in everywhere.  The Twatt is at it again as Davis breaks forward n the left and Henderson just hauls him back – play on.  Twattenburg then dramatically turns and wags his finger at Hojbjerg, assumedly because Pierre had said something Anglo-Saxon at him.  Twattenburg is happy now – he’s the main man in the game now and that’s just what you want from a referee.

Oh crap, a 1-2 on the edge of the box and Wijnaldum puts Mané through and he’s away.  He’s gonna score isn’t he and no one’s gonna catch him… along comes Virgil and blocks the shot away for a corner.  Brilliant defending.  We have a rare foray into their half as Austin superbly controls a ball forward but he has no support and is eventually crowded out.  Getting crowded out in their half counts as an attacking highlight today.

There is quite possibly the worst half time entertainment ever as two blokes bundle through some oversized footballs and score a goal.  Who cares?  Makes the guys holding the footballs rugby players and allow them to smash the contestants.  At least make it interesting.  Kenzie called it entertainment.  It wasn’t, it was shite.

The second half starts in much the same manner as the majority of the first with a ball being flipped over the top to Firmino who is behind Virgil.  Virgil clearly grabs a handful of shirt and Firmino decides to collapse, meaning that he gets given nothing because it looks like he’s dived.  Yes it was a foul but outside the box anyway. Phew.

The pressing from the Liverpool team makes us our own worst enemies at time as we try and play through it and Hojbjerg shanks a pass straight to Firmino who puts Coutinho in on the left but Fonte steams across and gets close enough for Coutinho to shat himself and lash it well wide.  Austin then narrowly avoids an own goal as a free kick is crossed in and Charlie’s the only one who goes for it.

My Christ we had a chance as Redmond picks up loose ball, plays Cedric away on the right and he fires over brilliant first time cross first time and Austin gets above the much smaller Clyne and meets it well but well wide.  Poor effort in truth and should have done better considering who he was up against.  We don’t have a monopoly on poor efforts though as Coutinho threads Firmino in and he basically has an open goal but decides to hit it with the outside of his boot and casually rolls it past the post.

In quick succession, Long is on for Boufal who hasn’t done much and J-Rod is on for Austin with Sturridge coming on for them, if he can be bothered.  His first contribution is to turn Redmond inside out on the left wing and stand up a superb cross for Clyne to steam in and meet and plant his free header wide of the far post.  Another huge let off.

Into the last 10 and Firmino has a dig from distance which takes a deflection and Fraser pushes it away well before we actually got up their end of the pitch and Bertrand’s cross is nowhere near a Saints player but Milner clearly handles it as it goes across his body.  The lino is looking right at it, nothing.. and none of our players are anywhere near it so no one appeals aside from those in the Chapel who all saw it.

As the game runs down we have no intention to play for anything more than a point and Liverpool seem to rely on hope more than expectation.  Twattenburg has had a quiet few minutes and so he pings Bertrand for making a few yards on a throw in.  There’s no way Twatt would have given it if Klopp wasn’t right there making various angry faces.  We survive the combined might of Liverpool and Twattenburg and full time.

Bloody hell that was a tough game.  You can certainly see what Klopp has brought to Liverpool as the soft mentality they’ve had for the last couple of years has certainly gone.  They will see it as a bad result whereas we can see it as a bit of a relief as we got virtually nothing going in the final third, defended superbly but did rely on some horrific finishing by Liverpool to get a point.

It was a strange game for us with some players having exceptionally good games whilst some were dreadful.  On the positive side, Fraser was back to his best with the pick of the bunch being the stunning save from Mané in the first half.  It was brilliant to have Cedric back and he certainly added to the defensive solidity that just isn’t there was Cuco the Clown is playing.  Virgil and José were magnificent as usual and Ryan Bertrand was quietly effective defensively but struggled to get forward at all.  Part of that was down to the horrific performance of Steve Davis in front of him. The game just looked to be to fast for him and he always seemed to be arriving just as the ball had been moved on.  Romeu proved again that he is one of the best defensive midfielders in the league and it was good to see Hojbjerg back in the Premier League side. 

Though lack of possession was an issue, the three up front were a problem.  Austin worked hard again but we needed him to bury his one chance and he really should have done better with a header against Clyne which went well wide.  Boufal didn’t really get into the game and Redmond had one of ‘those’ games.  By that I mean that he was bollocks.  There seems to be no inbetween with Nathan.  I’ve seen three games from him this season where he looked like a player who has no ability whatsoever – Arsenal away, Liverpool home and the England Under 21 game at St.Mary’s – and he’s had games where he’s looked like a great player.

Claude declared himself happy with a point and I think he’s right but we have to be doing a bit more than that going forward at home.  It’s a shame that Shane Long wasn’t fit enough to play a bigger part as I feel that his pace would have ensured that the relatively pedestrian Matip, Lovren and Milner wouldn’t have had such as easy afternoon.  Maybe it was a tactic specifically for today but with Austin up top and Boufal and Redmond playing very wide, we had precious little going on with Charlie having virtually no support and no pace to give the Liverpool defenders any issues.

It was the finishing and lack of it that means that Liverpool are only the second best team we’ve played this year behind Chelsea.  None of their regular front four (Coutinho, Firmino, Lallana, Mané) are prolific natural goalscorers so maybe this will be their problem this season.  Their one natural goalscorer is a lazy bastard which is why Klopp won’t play him.  The giant Matip looked like a good signing for them but the back 4 is the main issue which will mean the wait for winning the league will go on.  You aint gonna win the league with Milner at left back and the keeper has looked a bit dodgy – not today as we didn’t do anything.  I still dislike the arrogance around Liverpool and their fans in general are deluded fuckwits with a massive sense of entitlement.  Some of the dislike has gone with the departure of Rodgers and I’m warming to Klopp now he seems to have toned down his pitch side antics.  As for our ex’s – well Dejan was a Twat as usual but he had a solid match, Mané flitted in and out without damaging us and Clyne missed a sitter.  Out of the three (four if you include Adam the Twat) I guess it’s only Mané who we haven’t really replaced as yet, unless Redmond or Boufal are really going to step up.

Match of the Day was shit again in the way it was edited.  No mention of the Milner handball incident or Twattenburg’s shit refereeing but they shat on all day about Liverpool’s penalty shout.  Apparently their players were tired because they were all away playing internationals.  Well so were ours you fuckwits and we’re playing in Europe as well this year whereas they are not.

Oh yes, Europa. Next up is the Europa League and Sparta Prague away – win that and we’re through to the knockout stages and a win has got to be the aim against a team we beat easily at home.  I can see Yoshida, McQueen and bloody Martina coming into the defence, Clasie into midfield and probably Shane and Jay into the attack but no matter, we should still have enough to make Thursday a good day.