Premier League Match 32 - Reading 0 Southampton 2

Nigel Adkins 4 months ago - "You've got a shit squad Brian"

Reading away in meeting which has had every two bob sporting hack in the country trying to come up with an angle to try and stir up some bad feeling.  For example we’ve had “Davis says it was right to sack Adkins” only he didn’t say that at all and we’ve had “I won’t thank Nigel says Poch” which he did actually say but of course it looks much worse in a headline as the rest of the sentence (“because there are many other people at the club to thank as well”) is left out.  Nothing to see here really… Reading have to win and whilst our need is not as great as theirs, three points would be very nice being as we are only 4 points above Villa who are currently occupying the last relegation place.

I’ve been amused at reading the views of some Saints fans who are looking up the league instead of down at this point.  Fulham played QPR on Monday and some actually wanted a QPR win as Fulham are just above us in the league.  Madness… I don’t give a shit about Fulham and we want the three relegation places taken up as soon as possible and anyway, regardless of league positions, when can you ever seriously want a side managed by that twitchy bollocks to win a game?

So, back to now and this weekends’ matches could see us anywhere between one point and seven points clear of the relegation zone and I know what I’d rather.  On the face of it we’re a better side than Reading, higher up the league and in form.  However, since Mauricio has been in charge we have not yet won an away game, nor beaten a side that is basically not a passing side.   There is a box to be ticked here.  Of course there is the Adkins factor – he knows our players and will know how we are going to play.  We will conversely, know all about how he will want Reading to play and Saints hero though he is, we want him to be spinning out clichés in the post match press conference about all pulling in the right direction and responding to the setbacks and controlling controllables and all that shit.

Our team saw one change with Gaston Ramirez returning to the side in place of Punch who was joined on the bench by Adam Lallana who had obviously recovered from his latest injury.  Nigel changed a few for Reading with le Fondre starting instead of Pogrebnyak and ex-Saint Danny Guthrie was in midfield.  I am watching the ESPN coverage which is hosted by Andy Townshend who is backed up by Brian McDermott – until recently the manager of Reading.  I am thinking that this coverage is going to be just a little biased.

It is no surprise to me that Reading fly into the opening exchanges and we manage to get penned into the 25 yards in front of Artur’s goal.  When this happens, safety first should take over and we should be clearing the ball as far away from our goal as possible but instead we stick to principles and try and play out, usually meaning that we lose it straight away.  Our own tactics being turned on us sees us not dealing with it terribly well.

Our first player to stick his head above the parapet is Gaston Ramirez who hits a couple of Row Zedders flying into the crowd and then sends Steve Davis scampering away with a lovely backheel but his cross is cut out by Morrison.  We do seem to be a bit rattled in defence though and a ball up to Guthrie sees the ex-Saint facing the touchline and not causing the slightest danger until Big Jos decides it’s a good idea to steam through the back of him.  Free kick… well there’s a shock.  Guthrie’s cross into the box is missed by everyone except Corky who slams a clearance against Sir Rickie before playing an air shot and the ball finds it’s way to fox-in-the-box le Fondre who is more dead-fox-in-a-box as he lashes an easy chance over the bar from 6 yards. 

There’s another scare a minute later as the ridiculously named Hal Robson-Kanu cuts inside Big Jos who dangles a leg out but quite clearly gets the ball.  Over goes the Reading winger with much arm waving and mouth open and tongue flapping in the wind but nothing is given.  “PENALTY!” goes the incredibly biased co-commentator on ESPN before watching a few replays and even though the evidence is in front of his eyes, he’s still saying it was a foul.  Arsehole.

We are undoubtedly making it tough for ourselves though as another attempt to play out of defence goes wrong with Davis perfectly dissecting Shaw and Hooiveld and playing in Hal Silly-Name whose cross is met with a decent downward header from Mariappa but King Artur plunges to his right to keep it out by the post.

We get our first decent spell of possession around the 30 minute mark and Reading are not closing us down any more.  In that instant I have decided that we are going to win this as Reading are clearly not going to be able to have the same intensity for 95 minutes.  The tide has turned and five minutes later it’s confirmed as J-Rod picks up a ball through from Davis, plays a ball to Sir Rickie who flips it over the last defender and J-Rod is brave whereas Federici is shit scared and he bundles the ball into the net.  It didn’t even occur to me that it may have been a foul but the Reading love-in is declaring that it was and Nigel Adkins is up having a go at the 4^th official.  Piss off everyone – perfectly good goal.  If the keeper hadn’t shat his pants he’d have gathered it and no worries.

Reading have taken falling behind really well and now seem determined to hand the match to us.  Sir Rickie wins the ball high up the pitch and feeds Gaston who brilliantly slides J-Rod through as the Reading defence all stand still.  The shot crashes off the bar and away but the chances keep coming.  This time J-Rod robs Mariappa who is dozing before sprinting around Morrison which takes a while as he’s a bit of a unit.  He tries to slide it past Federici who pulls off a decent stop but the ball falls straight to Gaston who more-or-less has an empty goal to aim at and he more-or-less completely fucks it up and bobbles it wide to join Guly at Stoke and Lallana at Norwich in the Saints miss-of-the-season competition.

So, half time arrives and 1-0 up.  You gotta be happy with that but we really should be further in front.  Adkins has some work to do at half time and surely has to get some more help on so le Fondre is not the only Reading player in our half.  What he does though is bring on Leigertwood for Akpan.  In Saints speak, this is the equivalent of taking off Jermain Wright and bringing on Paul Wotton.  I don’t want to be arrogant but a League 1 trundler coming on does not fill me with fear.

Saints start the second half like they want to finish things off quickly and a lovely volleyed pass from Sir Rickie puts Davis through but his attempted chip (if you can call it that) wouldn’t have lobbed a small child and Federici catches it at knee height.  There’s another near miss as Sir Rickie puts J-Rod away down the left.  He has a race to the ball with the Reading right back Gunter who seems to just allow J-Rod to get to the ball, then he allows him to turn and wait a bit before whipping in a low cross which just evades the lunging Sir Rickie at the back post.  I have no idea what the point of the Reading having a right back was at this juncture.

Reading aren’t putting us any pressure at all but we have reached the hour mark which means that Gaston becomes a liability and starts giving the ball away needlessly.  The flicks start going wrong and then even the five yard passes start missing and then he tries too hard and it ends the same way as it always does and he gets hooked, to be replaced with Adam Lallana.  He had a decent first half again but there is clearly a fitness issue which is going to take the summer to address.

An optimistic Reading shot from miles out deflects for a corner which McAnuff puts into the mixer where Artur comes, drops it and faced with a 50-50 race with le Fondre throws himself at the ball and gets a right kick in the head in exactly the same way that Federici would have done if he wasn’t such a big fucking blouse.  Up the other end we go, a following a spell of superb passing, Yoshida feeds into Lallana who flicks it to J-Rod, who chips first time over the defence to where Lallana has run, tracked by absolutely no one.  One touch, near post, bang, 2-0, game over, staying up, going down, fire drill at the Madejski….

The Reading ‘faithful’ are leaving the end that was distinctly not sold out anyway and I can’t understand why as Chelsea aren’t playing until tomorrow.  They miss one of those bizarre Nigel substitutions that they’ll have to get used to as their best player in Guthrie is removed and they bring on Noel Hunt who is the less ugly, less scruffy brother of Stephen who like Kevin Doyle, left Reading to improve his career and ended up…. nowhere.  It then become the Holy Goalie Show as he nearly carries a le Fondre header into his net but manages to throw it out before he did so.  Cue more bollocks from ESPN as King Artur then gathers a cross one handed before flicking it over a Reading attacker before doing the same again with another one.  It’s like the fucking Harlem Globetrotters in our penalty area but it’s quality.

The game fizzels out with us playing keepball and taking the piss.  The camera pans to the crowd a fixes on a miserable looking bloke in a wig and then I realise that it’s John Madejski.  I wonder if he rubber stamped McDermott’s sacking or if it’s totally the Zingarevich show now?  Meanwhile, Guly comes on for the excellent Davis and gets involved as Sir Rickie puts Clyne away down the right and he gets to the line before pulling it back to Guly who posted his second entry in the Miss of the Season competition by sidefooting over an empty goal from the edge of the box. It’s bollocks but it doesn’t matter.

An interesting insight in Mauricio’s mindset came in the 92^nd minute.  The game was won, J-Rod was knackered, JWP was ready to come on and Reading had a free kick.  As it was obviously going to be tossed into our box like every other dead ball Reading had had. J-Rod, being the better header of the ball was told to get back into the penalty area and defend.  The game was over before JWP managed to get on so I’m sure we’ll have a whip round for his appearance bonus.

Well that was easy wasn’t it?  I didn’t really feel that we got out of second gear but we didn’t have to really as the reality is that Reading are a piss poor side.  They over performed in the Championship last year and won the league through the inspired buy of Jason Roberts (who I don’t think has scored a Premier League goal this season) and an incredible run of wins at the end of the season.  Fair enough but there is no way they can have expected to do well in the Premier League with virtually the same squad.  They made one expensive buy in Pogrebnyak (Russian) who bearing in mind Zingarevich (Russian) had just taken control of the club, looks like a vanity buy based on half a decent season for Fulham last year.  Brian McDermott had no chance and now Nigel Adkins has no chance either.  I’m not saying they should have done a QPR and spent millions but you do at least have to have a bit of a go at it.  From what I saw today they haven’t got a single player who is worth a place in a Premier League starting XI.  Nigel must have been thinking at half time – I’m one nil down and they’re threatening to swamp us, I know, I’ll bring on a midfielder.  Right, who have I got?  I’ve got Leigertwood who can’t run and is League 1 standard and no one else.  Shit – he’ll have to do – together as one, everyone on the bus etc. 

Meanwhile on ESPN, they’re asking January Manager of the Month Brian McDermott what he would have done differently if he was still manager.  A bit of a harsh, kick him while he’s down question I thought and Brian flatly refused to answer it, which was decent of him but if I may be so bold to answer for him, he’d have done nothing that would have made a difference as with the players they have, there is nothing that could make a difference.  If you’ve got Championship players on the pitch and League 1 players on the bench then you have no chance. Nigel will do the business for them in the Championship though and I’m sure he’ll get about 6 players and they’ll have a decent go at it.

Post-match, Adam le Fondre was quoted in the press that he thought J-Rod should have been sent off for the challenge for the goal.  It’s nice to report that even amongst Reading fans, that’s been derided as rubbish.  I’d like to point out that J-Rod didn’t actually touch their keeper whereas later in the game, le Fondre kicked King Artur in the head.  Neither was a foul so lets all be men and get on with it.  His quote did its job though and took attention away from the fact that he missed an absolute solid gold sitter when it was 0-0.  I expect to see both Gaston and Guly coming up with a stupid quote to take the heat off of their poor finishing.

Enough of Reading though, the J-Rod renaissance continues at a pace and that’s 3 goals in 3 games for him and he’s looked a superb player again today.  Also contributing massively today was a bit of an unsung hero in Steven Davis.  After the opening 20 minutes when Reading were on top, Mauricio called over Davis and had a chat and from that moment on, Davis dominated the game and was superb.  Today was yet another example of why we need to sign up Artur Boruc.  Off the top of my head, I can’t think of too many better keepers in the league and we will not get a better one anywhere in the summer – we need to get him tied down and now.  There will be bigger clubs than us with their eye on him – look at the clowns Arsenal have as keepers for example.  The one moan about today is that we fannied about it defence a bit too much.  Jos seemed to have a shaky match but he knows that Jose Fonte is in the wings should his form drop off.

So, we’re up to 37 points and 11^th place.  In Sunday’s games, a defeat for Sunderland at Chelsea and Wigan drawing with QPR with a last minute goal, means we’re 6 points above the relegation zone and a home win next week against West Ham should seal the deal for this year.  Lets prove we can play against aeroplane bothering tactics and get to the magical 40 point barrier.  Wigan are my new pet hate after their spawny point against us, spawny win against Newcastle and spawny point today against 10 men but you can’t begrudge them it when you look at the video of a clearly upset Harry Redknapp talking about their last minute equalizer.  Pure comedy gold.

Triffic!

Premier League Match 16 - Southampton 1 Reading 0

Brian McDermott had a great fall....

This weekend sees Reading return to the scene of quite possibly, the biggest robbery since the one with Ronnie Biggs and the train.  I am of course referring to the game at SMS last season when they came, parked the bus and mugged us big time and in effect, won the Championship.  I’m being a bit of an arre by describing it like that as in truth; they did a job on us and got what they came for.  When the dust had settled and both teams had got promoted though, I did ponder how Reading would win games playing that style of football.  So, here we are with both teams in the relegation zone.

Reading haven’t changed the team around too much since being promoted.  They have however, got a new Russian owner, Anton Zingarevich who looks about 25 and has a billionaire father so I expect it’s all his own money and it’s 100% legit by Premier League rules which states something along the lines of not being allowed to own a club on behalf of someone else.  If you look for it in the rulebook, it’ll be in the Pompey Appendix.  The big post-takeover signing was Pavel Pogrebnyak whose 10 years as a journeyman striker was overlooked when he scored a few goals for Fulham at the tail end of last year.  This out of character scoring spree prompted Readingski to throw stupid money per week at him.  He’s been a bit of a flop and other new buys such as ex-Saint Danny Guthrie, have hardly been picked in preference of players in the Championship side who I, even as a supporter of another club, know are not good enough for this league.

Saints had a couple of issues with The Great Gaston having flown to Uruguay and back during the week for a family bereavement and a shoulder injury to Paulo Gazzaniga which would see a recall for one of Superkelv or the Holy Goalie.  In the event, J-Rod was put up front with Sir Rickie and the winner of the prize to go in goal for this week was Superkelv.  For Reading, the Russian vanity buy was injured and the team had a lot of last years players with Jason Roberts (not good enough for Prem), Mikele Leigertwood (same) and Jobi McAnuff (same) still in the side.

The first notable action of the game saw some jostling for position at a throw in and Jason Roberts clock that it was 17 year old Luke Shaw behind him and deciding to be the ‘experienced pro’ and throwing an elbow in Shaw’s chest on the blind side of the ref but right in front of the Kingsland.  No reaction from the youngster and away went Luke to set up the first chance with a deep hanging cross which bobbled around before falling to J-Rod who hooked it wide when he really should have hit the target from about 10 yards.  Also missing the target was Sir Rickie who found himself free on the left hand corner of the penalty area before volleying well wide.

Saints were playing all the football at this point whereas Reading were content to hoof it up towards Roberts who backed into whatever defender was behind him and then threw himself forwards as if he’d been pushed.  Quite pathetic.  Alternatively, it was the ball over the top to le Fondre who obviously has never been taught the offside rule.  A flowing move by Saints which heavily involved Punch eventually found Clyne surging down the right and his cross hit the onrushing Morgan somewhere kind of knee / thigh-ish and bounced wide with Federici not getting near it.  From the angle I was at, it looked like a goal and I performed the ‘stand up – goaaaaal – sit down sheepishly – feel like a right wanker’ manoeuvre.   We were applauding again a few minutes later as Sir Rickie put Lallana in but his snap shot was comfortably held by the keeper.  All this and only 10 minutes gone.

The chances kept come as some neat interplay in involving Sir Rickie and Lallana saw a J-Rod effort blocked back to Sir Rickie who curled one for the top corner but it went in the middle of the goal and Federici pulled out one for the cameras, making a simple save look difficult..  Reading managed to fashion a chance for themselves when Roberts gave up trying to win free kicks for a second and laid a decent ball into Tabb who drove on from midfield whilst our defender ran alongside him, eventually shooting at Superkelv who should have done better than just palming it back to him.  The drama wasn’t over as Tabb went over with Corky in attendance but no penalty.  Fair play to the Reading man who didn’t appeal but there was the slightest of contact there.

There is a new chant that has found its way into the Northam End’s vocabulary this season.  It’s not a complicated little ditty and it goes “shit refs, we always get shit refs”.  As well as Mr Moss was doing in not falling for all of Jason Roberts acting, he had a shocker when Punch headed in a Lallana corner and he gave a push against Maya Yoshida.  It looked soft in real time but on the replay, you can see that Federici pushed Yoshida into a Reading defender who of course, then looked like he’d been pushed by the Saints man.

Time for an unlucky injury as J-Rod fouled Tabb who as he fell, landed on the side of Adam Lallana’s leg and obviously pinged something in his knee.  After lengthy treatment, it was no good so of he went with Gaston coming on to take his place on the left wing.

As half time approached, another Saints corner caused havoc as Yoshida stood far enough from Federici to not get shoved over and got his head to Punch’s corner and a combination of Cummings and Ramirez saw the ball loop up in the air before Sir Rickie lashed it horribly side on the volley.  Reading’s next corner very nearly got them what would have been a totally undeserved lead as Morrison headed it back across and the inventively named Hal Robson-Kanu headed against a post with no one on the Saints payroll moving a muscle.

It’s one of my favourite pastimes to wonder what the half time briefings are like.  I imagine that Nigel would have been quite pleased and “more of the same” and “together as one” and all that whereas whatever McDermott would have said, it would have been coming out of the mouth of someone who looks like an egg with glasses on.  Seriously though, what would he have said....”keep hitting Roberts with it early and he’ll moan at the ref and win us a free kick”.

It was all Saints again after the restart with Reading defending very deep and us camped on the edge of the box passing the ball about trying to find a shooting opening which eventually came and Punch’s shot was shovelled wide by Federici.  We’re knocking on the door again soon after as J-Rod spins onto a Sir Rickie knockdown and shoots just wide.

You hope it’s coming and I expect the Reading fans knew it was coming and just after the hour mark it did as Sir Rickie expertly sent Clyne away from Shorey down the right and his pass infield allowed Punch to take it in his stride and fire it right footed across Federici and in off the far post for a completely deserved 1-0 lead.

For the next five minutes we battered them, especially down the left with Shaw and Gaston but found no way through and Reading managed to fashion a couple of chances when a long ball from the right caught Clyne out a bit and his header dropped kindly for McAnuff to curl well wide.  Yoshida was having a good game but he still has a mistake in him and he made one when allowing Roberts to keep the ball out on the right and the eventual cross was met by le Fondre but headed well wide.

Our next substitution saw J-Rod being removed and Guly coming on to a mixed reception of cheers and boos.  No one will say so from the club so allow me – if you boo your own players then you’re a twat of the highest order and please stay away from St Mary’s on a match day.  Guly and Artur Boruc and whoever else you want to get your teeth into, play for our club and they want to contribute to us winning games.  If you think that booing them helps then it’s you that needs the help quite frankly.  Just fuck off.

Guly got himself involved and combined with Ramirez and Shaw before picking up the ball on the left hand corner of the box, spotting Federici off his line and curling a decent effort over the keeper and onto the roof of the net.

The Chuckle Brothers sit behind me and the whining and the ‘trying to be funny but failing miserably’ idiocy lands in my right ear.  Behind me and to the left is a Neanderthal Moron who I have mentioned before who yells things like ‘DAAAAAAAAVIS” at the top of his voice.  I’m thinking of recommending him to Pompey as Director of Football in a technical capacity.  Clive Woodward has nothing on this guy.  We have the ball and we are 1-0 up and we are inviting Reading to come and get it by keeping the ball and passing it – it’s good stuff and we’re keeping the ball quite comfortably but our technical guru yells “GERRITT FORWAAAAAARD!!!” before illustrating his point in simple terms with a “FORWAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!!!” before attempting to convince deaf people to hear again with a “GERRITT UP THERRRRE!!!”.  It’s the stuff of a technically brilliant mind it really is, so he must have been raging inside as we passed our way up the pitch with Corky at the centre of it before he put Guly through and his shot was straight at Federici and was eventually cleared.  I really wanted it to go in because:

a) we’d be 2-0 and the game would be over,

b) the Guly haters would look rather silly

c) I could have turned round and asked the Technical Guru what he thought

I realise that a technical answer along the lines of ‘UUUUGH’ would have come back.

Reading managed to win a couple of free kicks on the dying minutes due to crap refereeing in general but both were cleared with a degree of comfort and so daylight robbery was avoided.

Final whistle and three more points and we appear to have vaulted up the league to the heady heights of 15^th.  Due to the final score only being 1-0 and with our natural predilection for chucking goals in our own net, it was a bit nerve wracking but when you look at it in the cold light of day, we were miles better than Reading and it would have been an absolute scandal if they’d pinched a point.  There were very good performances all over the park but especially I thought, in the centre of midfield where Jack Cork continues to be the man who in an unsung way, is making our entire season.  Punch will get all the attention and the credit due to his goal and fair enough but everyone contributed.  Punch and Clyne down the right were superb as usual but a major eye opener for me was down the left with how well Shaw played and how much more he got forward with Ramirez in front of him instead of Lallana... food for thought for Nigel there.  At the back, Yoshida and Fonte restricted le Fondre and Roberts to next to nothing and today, they looked like a Rotherham striker and a Has-been (or a Never-Was-Any-Good-Anyway). 

As I’ve mentioned earlier, I was very pleased with how poor Jason Roberts was and how he just tried to con free kicks out of the ref all game.  As the ref ignored him he just moaned more but you can see why he plays like that when virtually all of Reading’s threat will come from set pieces as they have nothing else, either down the wings and there sure as hell isn’t going to be anything creative from the centre of midfield.  Though they won the league last year and fair play for that, they don’t appear to have improved at all but they do have a manager who looks like an egg with glasses on.  A word for the Reading fans who were very quiet all game, not even bothering to sing that fucking annoying 106 song which did make them sound like retards.  It’d be a bit like us chanting about winning the JPT three years ago.

For us, this was a game we had to win and we did.  It’s a good sign that we’ve had two “shit or bust” matches this season (QPR away being the other) and in both games we’ve been “the shit” and managed to win.  This season we are looking at finding three teams who are worse than us and in QPR and Reading, we’ve found two.  Our next match is at home to Sunderland when we will hopefully find a third.  We have to wait two weeks for this game though as next week we were due to be away at Stamford Bridge, trying to win a match whilst the opposition fans throw insults at their own manager.  Chelsea are however, in the World Club Cup so we have to wait so we may have dropped down the table a bit by the time that comes around but that doesn’t take away from the facts that we’re playing well and winning the games we have to win and that our manager doesn’t look like an egg with glasses on.

NPC Match 43 - Southampton 1 Reading 3

Have the Championship !!!

Since the Palace match, Reading have been to Brighton and got battered but somehow, courtesy of a deflected free kick, got a 1-0 win to put them level with us on points but behind on goal difference.  It’s annoying and it seems that we can’t rely on anyone else to make them go away so we’re going to have to do it ourselves.  To be fair to Reading, I saw their list of fixtures a few games ago and thought the wheels might come off but in the last 4 games they’ve beaten Blackpool, Leeds, Fat Sam and Brighton.   They’ve kept the run going despite losing one of their main players, Jem Karacan to a Michael Brown special against Leeds and if they come to SMS and win then you have to say that they deserve it.  They’re managed by Brian McDermott who comes across as genuinely likeable which is refreshing in a division containing Fat Sam, Colin Wanker and Gus Poyet.

On the night that Reading beat Brighton, the Skates entertained Millwall, riding on a wave of optimism following their last minute moral win at SMS when they had 6 booked and got a pointless (cos they won’t pay it) fine from the Football League.  They took all that momentum and fighting spirit and lost 1-0 and were, by all accounts, shite and lost with barely a whimper to leave them 9 points adrift with 4 games left.  We’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when...

Talking of accounts (sort of), the Pompey Administrator has published a list of creditors who are going to get shafted.  All debts have been accrued since the last administration a couple of years back but the list is remarkable in its lack of morality.   Schools are owed thousands (including the Southampton based one that owns their training pitch – lock the fucking gates for Christ’s sake) and St.Johns Ambulance are owed £6 grand (again).  Other ‘good’ ones are a Dublin based schoolboys team (£5 grand) and another ambulance service (£6 grand).    Anyway – fuck Pompey, they’re going down and probably out…

To more important matters and SMS again looks fantastic with a near to sell out crowd in place.  Like the Skates match, the away end is all blue but it doesn’t look nearly as offensive.  Our team is announced and as expected, we have the same starting line up as against Palace with Butters keeping his place ahead of Richardson who is on the bench.  I know I bang on about this but what is the point of having Richardson, Harding and Martin as 3 of your 5 subs.  The other two who can come on and maybe make a difference are Guly and Steeeeeve.

Saints tear into Reading from the start and take just three minutes to create the first chance as Billy plays in Sir Rickie on the right whose cross shot is fumbled by Federici and rolls across the goal and away.  Reading have Jason Roberts up front whose arrival has coincided with their great run of form and has had the added bonus of meaning that he’s not being boring on TV as often.  Good player though and he immediately shows what he’s about with some decent control and in the way he easily holds off José and keeps possession.

Reading are getting all bar Roberts behind the ball but we are playing some decent stuff and following a bout of passing on the edge of the Reading penalty area and some pinball within it, Lallana cuts in off the left wing and shoots, seeing Federici pull off a decent save following a deflection off of Gorkss.  Back come Reading and Pearce should have done better with a header when barely challenged at a corner but his header was always going over the bar.

We’re beginning to turn the screw now and having worked the ball upfield via a long ball on the floor by Fox and a superb turn by Sir Rickie,  Adam tries again by cutting in only this time he fires straight at the keeper who catches it easily above his head.   Not so easy was his next save from a Butters-Sir Rickie signature move with when the big man met the deep right wing cross at the back stick, bringing a decent full stretch save from the keeper.

So, a goal is surely coming?  You bet it is but not in a good way, as Foxy tries to drill along ball from left back to right wing and shanks it to McAnuff on the left wing.  Reading work the ball inside and eventually it finds its way back out onto their right with Jimmy Kebe who gets a yard on Foxy before whipping over a delightful cross which is missed by José and not claimed by Superkelv, leaving Roberts to plant a header into the roof of the net from about 5 yards.  Fuck it says I as the Reading fans go nuts with a massed ‘we are top of the league’ chant… bastards.

We seem initially to be unaffected by the goal and continue to pile forward, creating more chances with Adam finding himself in the box and conjuring up (possibly by mistake) a chip which Federici has to push over the bar.  From the resulting corner, big Jos gets himself completely free and makes a bollocks of the header he is presented with. Sir Rickie is on fire and he puts in a great cross from the left wing in the direction of Billy who was eased off the ball by Gorkss as he went for the header.  In my mind it was a penalty but not today.

Half time is approaching and it’s still all us but Bald Psycho slides into the keeper from miles away and picks up a deserved booking to go with his poor first half display.  We have one final chance before half time as Foxy crosses once more and Sir Rickie gets underneath the header and sees it fly over the bar.  

Half time and applause all round for us as we’d been the better side and I still expected us to win.  Reading had scored from our mistake and the Reading defence looked dodgy to me with a distinct lack of pace all over it but especially at left back where, on the 100th anniversary of the unsinkable ship sinking,  Ian Harte has the turning circle of the Titanic and the speed of an iceberg.

The opening action of the second half sees Superkelv steaming out of his goal to meet Noel Hunt, not getting anything but the man and the referee giving a goal kick.  Did I see that correctly because no one complained?  My mate the whiny Chuckle Brother is in full flow with his standard line of ‘why-deee-doooo-dahhhht’ which is beginning to grate on me in large fashion.  If we do make it to the Premier League and lose a few matches then I may have to kill him.

Luckily for him I didn’t have too much time to think about that as Adam crosses from the left, Billy twists and chests it down and Sir Rickie smashes in a shot which flicks off of Gorkss and flies into the roof of the net past Federici.  Get in…. here we go.  Predictably, there is a massive ‘we are top of the league’ from the Saints fans and it’s not just the Northam.  Many of the Kingsland have managed to cast away their zimmer frames and put their false teeth back in and are singing away.  I’m singing too and then get carried away and ask the Chuckle Brother if he was still fucking moaning.

We have the momentum again and are piling forward looking for another goal and Chappers, who has started the second half well, forces Federici to save his angled blast at the near post.  To be fair, it was going wide anyway but a decent save none the less.   From the corner, again it’s Big Jos and this time it skims off the big forehead which takes it away from the goal and away from anyone else at the back post.    The shot was Chappers last contribution as Nigel decided to take a potential red card out of the equation and replaced him with Steeeve who one would assume, would have the instructions to run at Harte.  There’s immediately another chance as Billy and Sir Rickie combine and the latter slams his shot just wide.

Just after the hour mark, McDermott responds to our pressure by taking off Tabb in midfield and putting on Le Fondre up front and going 4-4-2 in a very positive move.  Straight away Reading get a chance on the break but Roberts is superbly caught and tackled by Steeeeve who has hammered back after we lost the ball in the Reading penalty area.  We have a glorious chance to take the lead when following a dart by Steeeeve, another deep Butters cross is not met by Sir Rickie but by Adam Lallana who got in front of the defender and then allowed it to slide off his head and wide.

There still only looks like being one winner but I did think that it may peter out in the last 10 minutes if both sides settled for a draw.  It didn’t come to that though as Deano won the ball in midfield and rather than clearing it, decided to turn back towards his own goal and got burgled.  Two passes later and Kebe had fed le Fondre who side-footed it into the roof of the net from the edge of the box.  Fucking unbelievable – so now we’ve contributed massively to giving them two goals and yes, they are top of the league.

Guly comes on for Deano so I assume that Nigel is going for it but Guly appears to have taken up a deep position in a straight swap.  A few minutes later and I realise that we’ve gone, the midfield has gone and we’re not creating anything.  Steeeve is out on the wing but he’s not getting the ball through a combination of his lack of intelligent movement and the central midfield players not having control.  He is however, our only spark and he bursts through before seeing his shot bounce off of Federici’s chest and away.

It must be nice for the morale of the players to be trying desperately to get back into the most important game of the season and seeing masses of their own fans streaming for the exits.  Pathetic.  No I won’t stand up to let you out, go the other fucking way while I sit in the way and ignore you.  To round off a real shitkicker of an evening, we gift them another goal in the last minute as a poor header by Guly puts us in trouble which José has a chance to clear up but his back header is weak and Le Fondre nips in again, rounds Superkelv and scores with ease… ah, fuck off.

Full time and the fans that bothered to stay til the end clapped the players off as they’d put in a decent shift but it hadn’t been enough.  Oh dear.  As I left the ground, my mood is sponsored by the word ‘angry’.  I felt that until the second Reading goal, we’d been the better side by a mile and deserved to win and there was a big sense of injustice there.  There was anger that we hadn’t made them work for their goals – on all three, we had the ball, gave it away in our own half and before we got it back, they’d scored.  On two of the goals we should have cleared it but screwed up horribly and it ended up in our net.    You are not going to win games in any league if you continually give the ball away in your own half.

Having taken a few deep breaths, calming down a bit and trying to be objective… as far as Reading were concerned it was the perfect away performance in that they soaked up everything we had one way or another and then hit on the break when they had the opportunity.  They didn’t have many opportunities but they took them all.  It’s not as if we didn’t know it was coming as they’ve been doing that all season.  We didn’t play badly and against most teams we would have been out of sight by the hour mark and the job would have been done.

McDermott seriously got one over on Nigel as well – McDermott brought on a forward for a midfielder and played him up front and he scored twice, Adkins brought on a forward for a midfielder and played him in midfield and he contributed to giving a goal away and did nothing up the correct end.  Our ridiculous bench came home to roost as well – could have brought on Barnard or Punch or even Falque when we needed a goal at 2-1 down but we had three defenders left as game changing options.  ‘Impact’ – my arse.

Some players had shockers today, staring with Superkelv who had one of his ‘nailed to the goal line games’.   In my opinion he should have done better on the first goal and José Fonte will know he should have done better on the first and third. In generally play, Deano and Corky were ok in the first half but went missing in the second and we really missed Morgan for the control in that area that he usually gives us.  So, having said last week that this was our best midfield, they totally proved me wrong.  Chappers is proving to be a bit of a conundrum at the moment, veering between excellent and dreadful and not a lot in between.  He has to stay in the team against Peterborough on Tuesday though as he always scores against them.

So, Friday night was a miserable one and then came Saturday with the other team in the Automatic Promotion Love Triangle, West Ham, playing at home against Brighton.  Bearing in mind the Fat Sam has not masterminded a home win in his last 7 attempts; it was tempting to think that Brighton would be good for a point.  By 10 past 3 they were 3-0 down however and by full time they had conceded another 3 and virtually trashed our goal difference advantage in the process.   Well played Gus, you utter wanker.

It’s become popular to talk of things in the context of ‘If Carlsberg did etc etc etc’.  Well, this weekend has been provided by a different lager, that Value stuff from Tesco.  So… “If a Steaming Pint of 2% Pss Lager did Sporting Weekends, then it would be just like this one”.   Hopefully Carlsberg will be back in action on Tuesday when we travel to Peterborough and Fergie-Lite, Reading entertain Forest who ar eplaying pretty well at the moment and Fat Sam goes to Bristol City which is an interesting one as City still have some work to do following the Skates miraculous and highly dubious win on Saturday.

Tuesday cannot come soon enough.

3 games left, 7 points needed.

Me, 94 minutes, Friday

NPC Match 13 - Reading 1 Southampton 1

Heather Reflects on Another Shite Free Kick

Reading away at the John Madejski Ego Trip Stadium. Apparently we won here last time we played here with two goals from one of my all-time most hated Saints players, Bollocks Wright-Phillips. Oddly enough I’d forgotten that one but remembered Cup trips to Elm Park when we were in the Prem when we invariably played shite and lost and I invariably got soaked, watching from the open terrace. It’s a tough one today as Reading started the season poorly but are on a 6 match unbeaten run and they have some decent players. As well as the decent players they have Joseph Heather Mills, so called because he’s completely one footed. They signed Heather from us in the close season and to be fair, I thought he got a bit of a raw deal from us and found it a bit odd that Nigel Adkins had him on loan at Scunthorpe, then as soon as he got here it was obvious that Mills face didn’t fit. Here’s hoping he has a shocker and proves Nigel right.

Our win against West Ham has made everyone sit up and take notice, even the media and there have been a lot of decent articles on us and Nigel in the past 3 days. All good stuff but it’s odd that it took the beating of the divisions glamour London team to do that. I mean, look at the League Table guys. The positive press and the law of sod means that we are more likely to fall on our faces today and Nigel has made just the one change from Tuesday with Jack Cork coming back in for Morgan who drops to the bench.

Today I am attempting to watch a stream of the game on the Internet and am hoping that my shite broadband speed, ironically provided by Sky (1MB when they advertised 4MB) will do the business. A double click here, installing a bit of software there and winning 4 ipads later… and I’m in, dismayed to find that Peter Beagrie is a studio ‘expert’ along with my favourite Saints pie man of all time, Graeme Murty.

Saints start well with Chappers coming off the left wing with intent and linking up well with Connolly, whose return ball is just a bit too far in front of him and the ball ends up with the keeper as Chappers slides in. It’s all a bit frenetic for the first 10 minutes with us struggling to get going against a clearly fired up Reading side.

There’s a talking point on the quarter hour as a ball forward bounces up and Fonte sticks a hand up in basketball fashion. Was I the only one who saw the blatant shove in the back as he went up for it… I mean, I saw it in real time and it should have been our free kick. However, the ref gives Reading a free kick and Jose gets booked with much studio debate as to whether he should have been sent off or not. Personally, I have no idea why he was waving his hand at it but it was a foul the other way, end of. Heather fancies writing a headline but his free kick flicks off the wall for a corner.

He’s a good player with a silly name and Jobi McAnuff breaks down our right with Frazer in full Golac mode on the right wing. He works his way along the line and somehow squirts the ball across despite the attentions of Fonte and Superkelv but Fox gets back to clear from in front of our goal. We’ve stopped playing altogether and now it’s like the fucking Alamo with Superkelv standing between us and a right Royal Shafting. First he saves a low shot from Church following an intercepted pass from Bald Psycho and then superbly tips over Leigertwood’s shot from 30 yards after a poorish clearance from Big Jos. Le Fondre is next in line for a shot but Superkelv is out to block again.

The best we can manage is to win a corner which is cleared back to the Gulyman who crosses about 2 yards behind Sir Rickie, whose over head kick is not the best. Cue commentators saying that Lambert should have done better from there. How exactly? Fucking ball was miles behind him and six feet off the ground.

Thank God for half time and the chance for Nigel to work some magic to improve what was a pretty lacklustre performance. Peter Beagrie at half time was making me pine for Merringtitus – he was that bad. What the fuck has he got to do with Saints and Reading?

Aaron Martin is on for Fonte at the start of the second half which is apparently down to a tight hamstring and nothing to do with being generally shaky and on a yellow card. His introduction does nothing to turn the tide of the game which is inexorably heading towards our goal. Firstly, Alex Pearce, a former loanee of ours, has a header deflected wide and when the next corner comes in, Superkelv gets a bit lucky as he punches the ball backwards and over his own bar.

We take a bit of time out from continually giving the ball away to win a free kick on the right as a decent Chappers pass puts Frazer Golac away down the right and as he cuts infield past the last defender (and into the ‘what the fuck do I do now’ position) when the defenders arm come across him and down he goes. Fox’s free kick is cleared back to him and a perfect cross back in is met by the totally free Aaron Martin about 6 yards out. We needed a Ron Davies header but instead we got a Johnno Pace one as it kind of slid off his head and the keeper saved at the near post. Bugger.

David Connolly has been somewhat anonymous and it’s no surprise to see him hooked on the hour and Steve de Ridder comes on, just in time to see The Gulyman give away his usual stupid free kick for the game. Luckily for us, Heather is still on dead ball patrol for Reading and his delivery is shite.

The change has definitely improved things for Saints as de Ridder is worrying Mills at the other end and after a mazy across the pitch, he lays one off to Sir Rickie who plays in the overlapping Fox who is tackled as he’s about to shoot. Typically, we’re having our best spell and Reading get away again and Leigertwood is clumsily fouled by Deano on the edge of the box. It’s not a bad foul but it’s in the D which is probably why the yellow card comes out.

As McAnuff lines up the free kick, you get that shot on the TV where the goal looks fucking huge and so close. Bad vibes all around as McAnuff strikes it against the right hand post but the reprieve is short lived as Leigertwood reacts first and lashes the rebound past Chappers on the line who attempts a kind of sliding ninja drop kick to try and keep it out. One nil down, bollocks.

Twenty minutes to go and it goes from bad to worse when the Gulyman underhits a ball infield and Leigertwood picks it up, just before Deano, the intended recipient, comes sliding in and hoofs him up in the air. There is no point in even debating this one and to be fair, no one does as the inevitable 2nd yellow comes out. As Deano reaches the touchline, the channel on the stream changes and I am suddenly looking at a fat Spanish waiter in a Rafa Benitez fancy dress costume. This is a bit surreal. I am then looking at Spanish football on TV so I guess that’s it. Unperturbed, I try and find another stream of the game, win a couple of iPhone 4s and about 10 minutes later, I get a still frame of the action and the top left hand corner quite clearly says ‘REA 1 SOU 1’ – Get in!!!!!

What I missed was a throw in for Saints, taken by Richardson into the Gulyman who made up for his Hammond pass by dissecting the defence with a first time ball and putting de Ridder through on the right, from where he cuts inside the centre back and lashes a left footed shot in off the bar. It’s a brilliant goal.

Morgan comes on the for the Gulyman straight after the goal and there is one more alarm as Superkelv comes racing out and meets the Reading sub but mercifully he got the ball before clattering him. ‘Penalty’ said the optimistic Reading fans…. ‘Bollocks’ says I and the game end as Heather lashes a shot hopelessly wide from about 45 yards.

Boy did we get out of jail there. Outfought and outplayed for the vast majority of the game, one nil and a man down and we still got a point thanks to a great performance by de Ridder. Well done Schteve, as Schteve McLaren would say. Having implied that Reading were by far the better side (they were better to be fair), we had a few decent chances and Reading were not as threatening as the commentary on Sky would have you believe. Watching a steam on the internet is a bit of a lottery and I feel it kind of serves me right that it conked out just before we scored. Despite the de Ridder heroics, man of the match though was Superkelv who made one superb save and several solid ones to ensure we still had something to play for when de Ridder came on.

Nigal admitted that we weren’t at the races today and didn’t get going at all. I do think that a lot of that was down to the workrate of the Reading side and not many sides are going to be able to do that against us this season. Nigel has a decision to make for the next league game with de Ridder making a very strong case to get Connolly’s starting shirt. Also, any injury to Fonte is a bit of a problem as if he’s out, we only have two fit centre halves, Martin and Big Jos.  The bottom line is that we've had two difficult away fixtures at Derby and Reading and got a point in each.  The win against West Ham and a win next week at home to Middlesbrough (please!!!) will mean a decent return for the four matches.

Next up though is Crystal Palace in the Carling Cup and aside from the aforementioned centre backs, I think the team will be completely different with players such as Bart, Lee Holmes, Ryan Dickson, Johnno Pace and of course, Steve de Ridder, starting the game. We’re in the last 16 of this competition so it would be nice to progress but I just can’t see us playing many recognized first teamers.

In Nigel we trust.