Capital One Cup 3rd Round - MK Dons 0 Southampton 6

Who the Hell is This?

A chance to get over the United game with a trip back in time to the abysmally named stadium:MK for a Capitol Carling Milk League Cup game against Franchise FC., or the Fake Dons if you prefer.  These days they are in the Championship and not doing very well in it.  When we exited Europe on that great night in Denmark, a few comments were made about how the club could now have a better go at doing well in the League Cup and tonight will tell us how serious that statement was.  There is no way however that we’re going to play everyone from the usual league starting XI.

On Monday the Under 21’s played and won against Reading to go top of their league but more significantly, Ryan Bertrand played 45 minutes.  More good news is that Jordy Clasie is back in training but the Franchise game has come too quick for him.  Who could blame him if he didn’t fancy coming here. 

Graziano clearly didn’t fancy it either with a slight foot injury keeping him out but the starting XI contained Long, J-Rod and Mané in his absence.  Juanmi was also in the side, basically giving us 4 forwards which has a worrying echo of the Everton home game.  Steve Davis is back to partner Romeu in midfield and the keeper and back 4 is what should have started on Sunday with Cédric coming in for the Japanese Back Pass King.  All that lot suggests to me that we’re taking it fairly seriously.  There is no sign of Cuco Martina after his clown show on Sunday (or maybe he’s being rested!) and Stephen Caulker seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth.  Maybe Ronald’s decided that there is a reason he’s been relegated two years running.

Karl Robinson is manager of the Franchise and back in the day when he was assistant manager, he was a bit of a gobshite.  It seems that he’s still got tendencies to be similar with a pre-match declaration that he ‘didn’t care’ about this game with a league game coming up on Saturday.  I’m guessing that the Franchise hardcore fans (if such a thing exists) who are turning up tonight might not like that statement too much and you wonder how motivational that’ll be for their players.

A quick search reveals there is no live stream for this game on the internet so I’m going back to League 1 and listening to the radio.  It’s comforting to know that in an ever changing world, you can still tune the dial to 96.1 and catch Merringtitus.

A potentially tricky game gets underway and we’re all over them and they don’t seem to be playing with any urgency at all.  It takes all of 5 minutes for the first goal to arrive as J-Rood picks up the ball on the left near the halfway line and sets off.  He’s past the midfield and dummying the centre back who over commits before opening himself out and sidefooting it past the keeper and inside the far post.  Great goal but he’s basically walked through.

Franchise kick off and immediately lose the ball and Long is put away down the right.  His cross finds Cédric who arrives in exactly the way that an out of position centre back wouldn’t have done and then ruins it by smashing over the bar.  It’s just so easy and Romeu takes aim from 30 yards and skims a shot just over the bar.  The resistance, if you can call it that lasts until the 9^th minute as Franchise try to play out from the back and pass it straight to Sadio Mané about 30 yards out.  He simply runs past the defence including the player responsible for the shite pass, draws the keeper and flips it over him for 2-0.

The expected Franchise fightback doesn’t really happen but Diego Poyet, son of our old nemesis Gus, at least produces a decent pass to Baker who has a shot which Stekelenburg picks up.  We get a bit sloppy for a minute as Cédric tries to cushion a header back to the keeper but it slides off his head for a corner and we all have a flap and an airshot at the ball when the corner comes over but get away with it.

If the game isn’t won already, it is on 25 minutes as Long again gets free on the left and centres to Mané who is on the penalty spot.  He easily beats the last defender by feigning to shoot before contemptuously putting it past the keeper for 3-0.  Their defence is absolute shit.

Mané is absolutely running riot and plays a neat 1-2 with Shane before teeing up Juanmi but the Spaniard’s shot is straight at the keeper and he fumbles it over the bar in none too convincing fashion.  The next attack is classic Steve Davis as he tenaciously wins the ball in midfield and sets off leaving midfielders in his wake.  He gets to the edge of the box and opens himself out like J-Rod and that’s where the comparison ends.  It’s almost like the ball has turned into one of those Frido plastic balls you used to win at a fairground as it flies off his foot at a ridiculous angle and endangers a ballboy.

J-Rod is continuing his shoot-on-sight policy and smashes one just wide from 30 yards before The Fakes make a substitution which is always amusing as the substituted player, who has come off because he’s been shite, doesn’t know whether to limp off to save face or not.  There’s another highlight for the Franchise with 5 to go until half time when Stekelenburg touched the ball.

With us playing in green and pissing all over the opposition, it must be a bit like playing for Celtic for Virgil Van Dijk and we get treated to the first mazy out of defence as he runs miles with the ball before teeing up J-Rod whose shot is blocked.

After half time, I guess that there is the possibility of the Fakes getting an early goal back and then the Ghost of Tranmere emerging but it’s unlikely and it’s impossible because the first action of the second half is for Shane Long to try and get on the end of a Cédric cross and McFadzean to lean on him like a falling tree and the ref points to the spot.  The sentimental thing to do would be to let Sadio complete his hat-trick but when you’ve sent 16 months out injured and you’re a striker, you want to take it so up steps J-Rod and buries it down the middle as the keeper dives. 4-0.

Sub time as we approach the hour mark and Ryan Bertrand makes a welcome return in place of Targett.  The stoppage to allow the sub is another clumsy McFadzean foul and up steps Virgil and curls the free kick from quite a way out and it skims the bar and over, which is what the keeper was obviously betting on as he stood flat footed and watched it.

Bloody hell it’s Gaston Ramirez in a Saints shirt.  On comes the enigma to replace Sadio Mané and immediately gets on the ball to try and make things happen… and he does.  Picking up the ball on the right hand side and putting a superb pass over the top to send Juanmi away.  Juanmi is clear with Long and J-Rod in the middle and he attempts to roll it into J-Rod’s path but cocks it up but we get lucky when a defender tries to hack it away and succeeds in blasting it straight at Shane and it flies into the net off his chest.

Franchise have sent on the mascot and he looks familiar to a mascot who won a competition to come on as a sub for Saints a few years back.  Oh yes it’s Ben Reeves who has just enough time to look around before Steve Davis puts Shane through again in the inside right channel and he rifles it first time past the keeper again for 6-0.

Maya Yoshida is on for Virgil who come off because he was bored shitless and the rest of the game focussed on Gaston and his contribution.  Whatever way you look at it, he’d be a better option off the bench than Juanmi who looks like he’d benefit from a few months playing 90 minutes for the Under 21s.  Nicky Maynard is on for the Fakes and I remember him being a thorn in our side in League 1 and Championship days but all he manages today is a dive.  The home fans have emptied out of the ground long before the final whistle – in fact they’d gone about 95 minutes before the final whistle.  Nice stadium, shit club, shit team.  Bye.

Well that was a piece of piss.  We were good but the Franchise Fake Dons were shockingly bad which is what you’d expect when you’re average anyway and your manager doesn’t give a toss.  It was an absolute stroll from the moment J-Rod started his run for the first goal.   There were decent performances all round with the goalscorers leading the way, ably backed up by Romeu and Davis in particular and even Gaston looked good when he came on.  Mind you, performing when 4-0 against a Championship team whose manager doesn’t give a shit is not hard.  It was too hard for Juanmi however who failed his chance to prove that he is going to have what it takes.  Early days I guess but he wasn’t great.

Onwards and after Liverpool had finished scraping by League 2 Carlisle at Anfield on penalties (including a miss by Nivea Boy), the draw for the next round was made and we got Villa at home and a chance to bring forward Captain Bellend Tim Sherwood’s nervous breakdown which he will no doubt have – it’s just a case of when.  That’s for another day though – next up is Swansea at home in the league and we rather need a win and Ronald rather needs to pick the right side and today just might have changed his thinking in some areas. 

League 1 Match 37 - Southampton 3 MK Dons 2

Ginger Perm arrives at SMS

And so into April and 8 games in a month. We’d not played for 11 days due to the multitude of Plymouth players away on international duty. Apparently, one was supposed to be playing in a friendly between New Zealand and Japan in Tokyo, you know, just down the road from the nuclear reactor which is threatening to blow up. What a surprise postponement....

Whilst we were inactive, Peterborough played three times, losing to the Fakes and drawing twice which amounts to a bit of a wobble, if not a full ‘wheels falling off’ breakdown. I did cheer a Bournemouth goal though when they equalized in the 94th minute. In my mind I had a picture of Darren Ferguson’s face, all beetroot with rage, when his keeper dropped a clanger. Huddersfield had only played the once and they won that and Brighton were just Brighton - another two matches and another two wins. Brighton aside, the table is getting tighter and the games are getting more vital. Loan window deadline day has been and gone with Saints bringing in Dale Stephens on a ‘loan before you buy’ deal from Oldham who are desperate for the cash. Also desperate for the cash are the aforementioned Plymouth, from whom we are attempting to buy Jack Stephens (no relation to Dale) who has already turned down a move to Fulham. Rumour has it that young boys like Jack are not keen to sign for Fulham and be in the shadow of Michael Jackson. So, with Dale Stephens and Jack Stephens – rumours that Shakin’ Stevens would be the half time entertainment were about as we welcomed the Fake Dons, complete with their decent run of form, decent away record and Karl Gobshite Robinson.

As expected, Adam Lallana has recovered from the injury picked up at Charlton but Alex Chamberlain is out for a couple of weeks at least and you wonder if that’s it for him for the season. The Gulyman came in as his replacement in an otherwise unchanged team. Dale Stephens made the bench, where he was joined by the usual suspects and someone who looked a little bit like David Connolly – but it couldn’t be, surely! On paper, the Fakes have a pretty nondescript collection of players but in the flesh, in full day-glo technicolour, they have a fabulous ginger perm playing at left back who was no doubt happy that his perm wouldn’t have to try and keep up with Chambo on the wing.

I was expecting Guly to line up on the right wing and it was with some disappointment that I realised that Nigel had gone with the diamond midfield which in previous games has neither sparkled nor shone. Regardless, we started well and were pinging the ball about with the Fakes being unable to get out of their half and getting 11 men behind the ball. The man finding the space is Dan Harding who finds himself in a good crossing position before wafting it aimlessly over everyone in the middle.

Guly is showing up well with the touch a control finding players on a regular basis though he does still manage to get knocked over by the ball and perform a kind of crappy backward roll. We are still playing well but all we have to show for the first 20 minutes are daisy cutter shots from Barnard and Lallana and one decent cross from Harding which no one went for. From 20 minutes, Saints movement up front kind of stopped with Barnard, Sir Rickie and Guly all seeming to get in eachothers way.

The Fakes were showing some decent football of their own, confidently keeping it on the deck without creating anything. Their eventual ball forward was usually met by Jaidi whose headers were usually going about 50 yards back up the pitch. One ball up to Baldock was in the air and fell a bit short of him so Radhi managed to get a run on him before heading it away. It was like watching a rabbit being hit by a lorry with Baldock peeling himself off of the ground and having a look on his face like he didn’t know if he was alive or dead.

Big Radhi didn’t have a great moment just after that though as the Fakes won a corner which was delivered by Leven and met by MacKenzie who powered it into the net having lost the big man at the corner. They’d been in our box once and scored. Dammit.

As half time approached, nothing was happening for us and the diamond formation in midfield was as usual, playing into the oppositions hands with everything funnelling into the traffic in the middle. Harding was trying to provide width on the left but his crosses were uniformly shit and Butterfield was not getting forward at all. There was a distinct pedestrian nature about everything and the pace of Chamberlain was being sorely missed. Half time and 1-0 down with Huddersfield winning....booo!

Out we came for the second half with no notable change to either the personnel or the formation. There was also no change to the standard of football we were producing – all huff and puff and Dan Harding getting down the wing and whoosh – throw in, far side. I think that maybe he needs his eyes testing as he appears to believe the goal is further away than it actually is. It’s 15 yards away but he thinks it’s 80.

A difficult day became a very difficult day on the hour mark as the Fakes broke and Baldock found himself one on one with Butters. He created a yard for himself and went for Kelvin’s achilles heel – the near post and straight in it went for 2-0. Two shots, two goals and whilst there was no keeper blame attached to the first goal, this one is one to add to the rubbish ones let in recently against Peterbrough, Walsall, Tranmere and Swindon. He’s in the wrong place and is too far away from the post, about a yard too far to the left. The Fakes fans are chanting “You’re getting beat by a Franchise” and they’re right. Ridiculed by fans of the Fake Dons – could life get worse ?

Nigel reached for the bench and on came Johnno Pace for the ineffective Chappers who hadn’t had much joy in his right midfieldish role. Johnno went to the right with the clear intention of running at the Ginger Perm. Within five minutes, the substitution had paid off when a Sir Rickie cross from the left was allowed to travel all the way across to where Johnno chested it past the Perm before volleying into the net. 2-1 down and game on.

Another sub for Saints as Dale Stephens came on for the Gulyman so now were set in the usual 4-4-2 and we immediately levelled the scores when Lallana fed the overlapping Harding whose cross stayed on the pitch this time and was parried by the keeper out to Johnno, who couldn’t miss, 2-2 and I knew we’d score again.

There were a couple of false alarms with first the keeper saving well from a Hammond header and then watching on helplessly as Lallana tricked past two defenders before firing agonisingly wide. The newly woken up Sir Rickie then fed Barnard who ran out of angle and fired over. Twas but a matter of time though.... and it was Barnard who smashed Saints in front with his left foot as he ran onto Sir Rickie’s pass to send SMS nuts.

The last time the Fakes were in our half they were 2-0 up but now they went for it and put us under pressure which was repelled with Fonte quite clearly throwing one of their players on the ground in a move last seen on Ultimate Fighting Challenge for what should have been a penalty. Following the incident, the ball broke to a Fakes forward who stabbed just wide. Gleeson went nuts at the ref and managed to run into him, picking up a booking. To be fair, it looked accidental so a yellow was probably fair but I bet he shat himself when he realised he’d pushed the ref.

More Fakes pressure and the ref who had let everything go all game, suddenly started giving stuff and from a dubiously awarded free kick, Leven, not distracted by me muttering ‘fuck off’ under my breath, curled over the wall, over Davis and onto the angle of post and bar. There had been 6 substitutions in the 2nd half and so the 5 minutes injury time was no surprise and in the main we defended it well with Lee Barnard earning the only standing ovation ever for running away from the goal and into the corner, where he waited for the defender before getting fouled.

Some keep ball with Lallana followed, along with the final whistle. Phew, got out of jail big time there but it’s a great win. You have to look at the bigger picture though and wonder just how many times we are going to get away with being poor in the first half and pulling it out the bag in the second. With a diamond midfield you rely on the full backs for width and today anyway, Butters didn’t get far enough forward and Harding delivered one good cross in ten. We’ve played that way in a fair few games now and it doesn’t work for us. What did work today of course was the substitutions with both Dale Stephens and particularly Johnno Pace making a massive difference.

Nigel’s post match interview seemed a bit more emotional than usual, as if he was high on the atmosphere of coming back from 2-0 down. He did acknowledge that the diamond didn’t sparkle much and vowed to address it – we shall see. I was waiting for Karl Robinson to come out with some complete rubbish after the game but the boy appears to have grown up a bit and complimented both his team and ours and gave a decent appraisal of the game, thus making me re-write everything I was going to say about him. Fair play Karl – it’s impossible to like the Fake Franchise but they did play pretty well and looked a decent side, even allowing for the Ginger Perm.

In a lot of games in League 1, we don’t get put under much pressure and so the defence and keeper have a pretty easy ride. I find it noticeable that when we go get put under a bit of pressure like today, or in the away game at Peterborough, certain players go to bits and my finger is pointing at Kelvin Davis and Dan Harding. Davis let in another poor goal (like at Peterborough) and Harding was giving me kittens being caught in two minds on several occasions. If you remember, he was terrible at Peterborough and was subbed to stop him getting sent off. Time to step up to the plate boys.

So, 9 games left and how many points do we need.... 22. Next up, Charlton at home on Tuesday, Bradley Wright-Phillips will score but we have to win.... and we will and there will be no Shakin’ Stevens.

League 1 Match 6 - MK Dons 2 Southampton 0

Classic Single Ahoy !!!

Time for the postponed game against the Fake Dons and it’s a lot more interesting than it otherwise would have been. For starters, we would have been very confident of winning this game as we beat them four times last year – however, that was before we were shit with Caretaker Manager syndrome. Also of course, we now have a new manager and predictably, it’s Nigel Adkins who has joined us from that well known swear filter busting team, Scuntfuckwank. Welcome to the Saints, Nigel and I hope you’re still the manager in three years time as this will mean we have gone up at least one division. Adkins seems to be well qualified for the job and should fit in well with the ‘different’ structure we have in place at SFC. Time will tell of course but some things will never change – no results and he’ll get fired. It’s not so easy to judge the Head of Youth Development who is on the same level in the hierarchy.... ho hum, a debate for another day methinks.

The quest for a new manager has been interesting and was ended with the appointment of Adkins and a statement to say that he was the only person offered the job – in direct contradiction to what was stated by Dick Mitchell (don’t know his first name), the Bournemouth Chairman who seems to want to stir up a big rivalry between Bournemouth and ourselves. Eddie turned the job down because we’re better than them Scummers, he might have said. There is always the chance of course, that Saints are bluffing to try and make Adkins feel that he was the number 1 target all along but if I had to choose between Cortese and Mitchell to believe - I’d choose the man who would leave a horses head in my bed if I didn’t.

Back to the game at the Fake Dons acted with great class to allow us to postpone the game when Markus Liebherr passed away and they and their Chairman were thanked publicly by Don Nicola. That should be forgotten now and we should remember that they are a Franchise in a shit town and their manager is Karl Robinson who is the end of a bell. Also of course, stadium:mk (as it is pretentiously written with no capital letters) is touted as a potential World Cup venue in 2018 which even though I’ve known this for a year, is still something I find hard to comprehend.
After just a couple of training sessions, it would be too soon to expect Nigel to have read up on this blog and pick his team accordingly. If he asked me for advice and I was Making Plans for Nigel (sorry! – won’t use that again) I’d tell him to leave out Schneiderlin and Harding and play Dickson and Heather Mills, moving Puncheon into the centre. When I heard the team I realised that Nigel does not read this blog as Seaborne came in for the completely absent Martin and other than that, it was as you were. So, would we get ‘new manager bounce’ as they call it or more likely, not.

Saints started well and bossed possession for the first 20 minutes which brought a chance for Sir Rickie that was well saved by Martin in the Fake Dons goal. Proving that the new manager had made the players aware they had a clean slate – Schneiderlin found himself far forward enough to make a difference and fired a volley narrowly over. It’s going well and we’re looking dangerous and certainly the team most likely to score. That’s all very well but the fact remained that we hadn’t yet. The rest of the half became more even and the Fakes tested Davis a couple of times and really should have taken the lead when Doumbe had a free header when given the freedom of our penalty area and totally butchered it.

Half time and promising but... we still hadn’t scored. 315 minutes and counting.
I’m in a Dave Merrington wonderland for the 2nd half anf until the hour mark we’re still doing ok. Things seem to go slightly amiss around this time and Dave is left wondering how dan Seaborne has got away with a spot of wrestling in our box that on another day would have resulted in a penalty. Recongnizing that things are gradually getting worse, Nigel makes his first substitution as SFC manager and it’s to take Connolly off and put on Heather Mills, a player he had on loan for a season up at Scuntfuckwank. Initially I’m thinking ‘defender for a striker.... boooo’ but it turns out that Chamberlain is being pushed up front to try and inject some pace.
Sadly though, we hear nothing of Mills and Chamberlain before that all too familiar ... he shoots.... goal. Nice build up, nice through ball, nice finish, 1-0 to the Fake Dons and that familiar fan feeling of knowing we aren’t going to do a thing about it. There are 20 minutes to go but as they drift by, it’s obvious that Saints are spent. There is no mention being made of Lambert or Schneiderlin or Puncheon and it’s just Fonte and Davis.

90 minutes are up and we replace Chamberlain with Lee Holmes. I’ll forgive Nigel this one as he can’t possibly know yet that Holmes is a complete waste of space and it won’t matter anyway because having played 3 minutes, he’ll now be injured for a couple of months. Anyhow, another goal as Davis parries the initial shot and Leven follows it in whilst the defence does that usual ‘not reacting’ thing they have perfected recently.

We have a late attack and force a corner and Puncheon jogs over to take it and everyone goes forward – just in time for him to kick it straight out of play – wanker. Thus endeth 4 defeats in a row and no goals in 360 minutes of football.

Following on from Dean Wilkins saying it in the week, Uncle Dave is saying we have no options on the bench anymore whereas last year we had Waigo, Antonio and one of Connolly or Barnard. This is following on from me saying it after the first game of the season. We were also lucky last year that Lambert stayed fit all season and didn’t have a lean spell like he’s having now. Also of course, Adam Lallana was fit all season. The basic problem though is that players are playing worse than they were last year. I’d say that Fonte, Jaidi, Harding, Puncheon, Lambert, Connolly and Davis are all below last seasons levels. Hammond and Schneiderlin are the same as last year but they really needed to improve and the only real improvements have been Lee Barnard (suspension completed today) and Danny Butterfield who is an improvement on the ‘who is right back this week’ scenario we had going on last year. It’s ironic really that we wouldn’t have even signed Butterfield if Frazer Richardson hadn’t got injured straight away. Our other signings, Dickson and do Prado have yet to be given a chance and I think they would both make a positive difference.

We also seem to start games well and then run out of steam which is obviously a fitness issue which ties in with some rumoured Cortese comments about pre-season. As for Nigel Adkins – well he says he’s learned a lot from the game and he’s keeping it to himself. Hopefully on Saturday at home to Colchester, we’ll be able to see what he’s been keeping to himself and that he’s fixed it. A footnote to today’s game is that Karl Robinson wasn’t a bell end and was very respectful of SFC. Fair play to him for realising that you can’t be a total gobshite when you’re the main man rather than the Assistant.

JPT Final Preview

So… all the league fixtures are done for now and the next game is the Johnstone Paints Trophy Final at Wembley Stadium v Carlisle United.

It’s worth having a little recap here of our progress in the competition so far. To see blog entries - click this link http://leagueoneminus10.blogspot.com/search/label/JPT

We got a bye in the first round and in the 2nd, got a home draw against Torquay and we were quickly 2-0 down. I think that at this point, if they didn’t already, most fans saw this cup as an irrelevance and we didn’t care, it was beneath us, it was a waste of time, stupid little tin pot trophy etc etc. Two close range goals from Papa Waigo and Paul Wotton hitting home the winning penalty in the shoot-out... and we were happy enough.

The 3rd round brought us Charlton at home and the motivation for this game was there due to the quality of the opposition, the game being live on Sky and Pards being their much-hated ex-manager. We thrashed them 2-1 with goals from Wayne Thomas and Sir Rickie. We were totally dominant in the game with Charlton spawning a last minute consolation. Now we were all taking it quite seriously.

The Southern Regional Semi-Final brought another home draw, this time against Norwich City – more decent opposition and once again, despite a goal from Papa Waigo, we were losing 2-1 with a minute to go. Following a forearm smash by Michail Antonio on deserving recipient Grant Holt, once again, that man Papa Waigo popped up to force a penalty shootout which we won with James and Antonio’s misses cancelled out by three excellent saves by the Bart Man and so it fell to Wayne Thomas of all people, to stroke home the winning penalty. Now we were taking it very seriously indeed.

The Regional Final was against the Fake Dons and we won the away leg 1-0 with a goal from Michail Antonio and really should have won by more. We over-celebrated in full view of renowned cretin Karl Robinson. In between the first and second legs, we pulled a neat trick out of the bag and signed their best player in Jason Puncheon and even though he was cup tied and couldn’t play for us, we won the 2nd leg 3-1 at a bit of a canter with goals from Lambert, Lallana and a funny own goal. We’re going to Wem-ber-ley.

The ticket allocations were announced and we were given 44,000 which at the time, I thought we’d be hard pressed to sell. Despite a ticket office phone meltdown, I got mine on Day 1, only to find the best seats had sold out. Within a couple of weeks we had shifted 40,000 and rumours were that there would be no general sale which is astounding really but astounding in a good way. The ‘sold out’ signs went up and then the rumblings began about trying to possibly getting more tickets, especially when it emerged that Carlisle were only bringing 20,000 and there would be approximately 20,000 empty seats. Don Nicola Cortese weighed in and revealed that he had offered to pay for extra stewards and also had explained to the FA, how to allocate us extra seats and avoid segregation issues (the poor reason that we’d been given for no extra tickets). It seems though that the FA would rather save face than have an extra 15,000 fans paying approximately £30 a ticket. That’s nearly half a million quid which is more ammunition for the ‘FA is a joke’ brigade. I hope someone is sacked over that as it’s not as if they couldn’t do with the money as the Wembley pitch has just had to yet again, be relaid at great expense. The cost of the new pitch would easily have been covered by the income from the extra tickets they could have let us sell. Idiots.

Going back to the pitch for a second… there has been a load of negative publicity over the state of the Wembley pitch and talk as to whether it’s been a factor in players getting injured etc. Maybe they relaid it because of that but they probably did it because the Saints are in town. The JPT Final will be the first match played on it and after that it’ll probably be a couple of Rugby League matches and a Take That gig before they have to bring in another new pitch. Maybe it’s the Take That gig that rots the pitch with all the women in the audience wetting themselves.

And here we are…. Four days to go and we have an injury crisis. In League 1, we are usually or occasionally fielding 4 players who are cup tied for the JPT in Lee Barnard, Jason Puncheon, Dan Seaborne and Jon Otsemobor. None of those can play and in addition, Wayne Thomas and Graeme Murty are definitely out and there are question marks over Adam Lallana, Radhi Jaidi, Morgan Schneiderlin, David Connolly and Lloyd James.

I’m going to try and predict the team. Warning – I’m usually useless at this.

Goalkeeper : Kelvin Davis, enough said. Bart on the bench.
Right Back: Dan Harding has played here for the last two league games so I expect him to start the final here unless Wayne Thomas miraculously recovers or Pards wants to play both Harding and Mills down the left. Of course there is also the option of pulling out a strange one and playing Paul Wotton (very slow) or Simon Gillett (very short) here. Of these two I’d play Wotton I guess though the prospect of him lighting up Wembley with one of his special tackles when the ball has long since gone is one that makes me shudder. In addition there is the horrible prospect of Lloyd James playing here. Please No.
Left Back: Joseph Mills unless he gets pushed into midfield with Harding behind him.
Centre Backs: Jose Fonte and Radhi Jaidi though Chris Perry will play if Jaidi fails to make it. I hope that Perry gets on the pitch at some point as he’s been a good player for us and this will be his last season with the club.
Right midfield: Adam Lallana or maybe Papa Waigo if Adam plays on the left and we’re not bothered about the right winger tracking back Michail Antonio would be starting here if he was fit and it must be devastating for him to miss out.
Left midfield: I think (and I worry) that Lee Holmes will get the nod here despite not being in the League 1 squad for about a month. He came into the squad after Christmas and surprisingly, started a few games and has disappeared as quickly as he arrived despite not doing too badly. There is always the possibility though, that he is injured. Other possibilities are to play Lallana here with Waigo on the right or to play Joseph Mills with Harding at left back.
Centre Midfielders: Dean Hammond and Morgan Schneiderlin though expect Paul Wotton or maybe Simon Gillett to play here if Schneiderlin misses out. I would slightly favour Gillett out of the two as keeping the ball is not really a Wotton strength.
Strikers: Rickie Lambert and Papa Waigo N’Diaye with David Connolly fit only for the bench. It’s a big pitch so expect Papa to be offside by even further than usual but also expect Connolly to be given 20-25 minutes at the end.

There is always a ‘fairytale’ story around team selection for Cup Finals. Remember at Cardiff 2003 when Chris Baird came from nowhere to start the final. This years Chris Baird could be either Simon Gillett or Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain though I do think that both of these will end up on the bench.

I have watched Saints at Wembley three times: Charity Shield in 1976, League Cup Final in 1979, ZDS Cup Final in 1992. Lost, lost and lost again. I, of course, also went to Cardiff in 2003 where we lost again. So, yes I want to enjoy the day and yes I know it’s not the most important cup competition in the world but on Sunday it’s one that I desperately want us to win. In 2003, the feeling I came away with was of a great day and the fact that we lost was almost secondary after a while. There is no question that we should win this one and there will be no consolation for the 44,000 travelling Saints and the 15,000 unable to get a ticket, if we don’t.

Come on you Reds. (not Yellows this time)

League 1 Match 36 - MK Dons 0 Southampton 3

Super Willy models the new MK Dons Keepers kit.

What can you say about MK Dons that hasn’t already been said? Not a lot only that our record against them this season reads Played 3 Won 3 Lost 0. Despite this stat, their Assistant Manager, Karl Robinson, feels that they have ‘sussed us’. The Fake Dons fans must be comforted to know that things are going to be different this time according to guru Karl. Rumour has it that whenever Arsene Wenger has a particularly difficult game coming up, he phones Karl for advice and Fabio Capello is entertaining the thought of taking Karl to the World Cup in case he can’t cope. On the other hand, rumour also has it that at the end of the season, I will be running a poll to identify the ‘Leagueoneminus10 Prick of the Year’ Winner and Karl may or may not feature.

When Pards joined us as manager, you could read the views of many a Charlton fan who slated him for his wacky team selections – right backs at left back and vice versa etc. Turns out it was mainly bollocks but today there is a strange one in that with Wayne Thomas injured, Dan Harding is moved to right back and Joseph Mills comes in on the left. The obvious choice would have been to put Lloyd James at right back but he was so abysmally bad when he came on as sub last week, I’d have thought Bart was the next choice. Also left out was Radhi Jaidi but he was replaced by the much more obvious choice of Dan Seaborne.

The first half was predominantly shit. We had an early chance with a Lallana shot being blocked on the line after two minutes but otherwise we were shit. The Fakes had one decent chance when Ginger bloke stole in on a cross and volleyed it back the way it came, straight out for a throw in.

The second half started with Davis sending a big boot downfield which was headed straight up in the air by the Fake Dons centre back, the goalkeeper, our old mate Willy Slice it Gueret came for a punch and was comprehensively outjumped by Sir Rickie who headed it into the recently vacated net. Willie should be referred to as Super Willie Gueret from now on – a) because he’s Super for us every time we play them and b) it sounds like a porn star.

Davis had to be at his best a few minutes later as Jermaine Easter managed to acrobatically hook it goalwards, only for Super Kelvin to take off and turn it away. This was a bit of a key moment as following a corner up the other end, Fonte ended up on the left wing and decided to have a run at the full back. He beat him on the outside and forged into the box where he was shot by a sniper. To be fair, I think it was a foul but he sure made a meal of it. Up stepped Sir Rickie and buried the penalty bottom left, despite Super Willie going the right way.

On 75 came the final nail in the Fake Dons coffin and made sure of the 4 wins out of 4 when Sir Rickie expertly controlled another Davis bomb and having chested it down, volleyed it over Super Willie (who was not having a good day) from 40 yards. The ball went miles up in the air before crashing down to earth and bouncing down behind the line for a quite stunning goal and what a strike to seal Sir Richard Lambert's first hat-trick for the mighty SFC. You really can’t attach any blame to Super Willie for the goal as no keeper on earth would have been back on his line at that point. I remember James Beattie scoring a similar goal for us at Sunderland a few years back and you couldn’t blame the keeper for that one either.

It was time to take off the forwards as we wouldn’t be needing them for the rest of the game with Waigo and Connolly taking the places of Lambert and Barnard. The rest of the game kind of played itself out with no real incident other than the Fake Dons backroom team getting all irate with the referee and the 14 year old girl who was running the line.

You know the game is won when Wotton is brought on and he replaced Schneiderlin at the last. To complete the comedy for the day – Luke Chadwick was announced as Man of the Match. I assume that can only be for home players then? Of the home players, I think the performance of Super Willie did more than most to influence the result.

Final score 3-0 and 10-2 on a four game aggregate. Jesus, just imagine what the aggregate score could have been if Karl hadn’t sussed us out. An additional thing to consider is that one of the Fake dons goals was scored by Jason Puncheon who is now of course, a Saint.

The first half was what has become a typical away performance for us – kind of listless and disinterested and needing a spark. Whether it was what Pards said at half time or just Sir Rickie sparking to life that made the difference – who knows ? What we do know though is that without being ever brilliant in the 2nd half, we were as efficient as you can be on a shite pitch and so what if 3-0 flattered us a bit. A bizarre stat from the game is that Kelvin Davis got two assists, twice providing the scoring pass. In the days that are to come, I look forward to hearing the words and wisdom of Karl – impart your wisdom on us oh wise one. I expect that the better side lost and we over celebrated.

There is no real point in talking about the playoff picture and our potential to be in it aside from saying that we have to win every game from now to the end of the season – simple. Next up is Hartlepool at home on Tuesday night and it’ll be interesting to see what the right back situation will bring us. Harding did a job at right back without being spectacular but I don’t think it’s the long term answer. I would expect Lloyd James to start on Tuesday as a bit of a JPT Final audition. I would also expect Dan Seaborne to keep his place on Tuesday as well to ensure Jaidi is completely right for the Final. On another matter, Tuesday night will be the last midweek home game that I’ll be missing for a while having finally been made redundant... my next game will be at that big place in London and Karl Robinson will be watching it on the telly.

All together... Rickie Lambert, Southampton Goal Machine...

JPT Southern Final 2nd Leg - Southampton 3 MK Dons 1 (Saints win 4-1 on aggregate)

Wem-ber-ley

This one is hurting. I usually accept that I have to miss midweek games due to work but this is killing me. For starters, I had a ticket and was intending to go but then I got made redundant at work and as a contractor, I then had to take every bit of work that was going. So, I’ve paid for a ticket and now I’m paying again by sitting in an Internet café listening to The Saints Player. Assuming that I’m here for the duration, it’s going to cost another tenner. Small price to pay though. It’s a night of JPT Rock ‘n’ Roll action with Saints v Fakes and also Carlisle v Leeds in the other Area Final with Carlisle 2-1 up from the away leg.

Since the Exeter game, Don Nicola Cortese has decided to put a bit of a squeeze on Pards’ knackers and publically declared that he expects better results in the league. Personally I think he’s stating the obvious but I question whether it really needed saying in public. Surely he could have just had a quiet word or alternatively, left a horses head in his bed.

To the team and at last, Hammond is back. Tonights centre back pairing is Fonte and Jaidi which would be my first choice anyway. Fonte is of course not cup tied for the JPT, having played for a team not bad enough to enter it. Dan Harding is recalled in place of Heather Mills and our “JPT specialists” (copyright The Dickhead on Radio Solent) Antonio and Thomas make up the right hand side of the team. The Fake Dons on the other hand have a bit of an injury crisis, plus the fact that Jason Puncheon can’t play for them as he’s moved on to better things. Punch’s place in the squad has been taken by Alex Rae who is 40.

Fast start for Saints and we swarm all over them but the first JPT news of the night is that Carlisle are 1-0 up against Leeds making it 3-1 on aggregate. In a totally unrelated aside, Pompey have gone 1-0 down v Sunderland and had Ricardo Rocha sent off. He’ll now be banned for the FA Cup game at SMS on Saturday (if it takes place) which is karma because he was signed despite Pompey owing millions to everyone.

Papa Waigo, our other JPT specialist, is looking dangerous but there is a strange development in that Sir Rickie is taking all the free kicks from wide areas. So, having spoken about decreasing his workload, Pards now has him taking free kicks and expecting him to get his head on the end of the cross!!! Madness I say, Pardew out!!! Seriously though, why can’t Lallana or Morgan “Dead Ball Specialist” Schneiderlin take them.

Dave Merrington - now he is a genius and he is prone to those Nostradamus moments, predicting the exact opposite of what is about to happen. For once he is spot on with “it’s a matter of time before Saints score” as Sir Rickie takes some time off from taking free kicks, goal kicks and throw ins and gets in the box to collect a ball from a neat pass by Waigo and make it 1-0 on the night, 2-0 on aggregate. Solent Dickhead gives his “March to the Arch” saying an airing for the first time.

More strangeness happens as Sir Rickie is now taking corners from both sides and you know what happens – takes one from the left, ball gets put behind again for a corner on the right. Meanwhile, Papa Waigo N’Doffside makes his first appearance for a few weeks but all is forgiven on the half hour as following an Antonio run and a hurried MK clearance, the ball hit Woodards in the guts and bounces into the net for a very funny own goal. It’s the second daft own goal we’ve got in recent weeks and this one is hilarious. I have had to get this description from my Dad as the genius on the radio did it no justice at all with “Antonio….. own goal”

Meanwhile, several thousand miles away, Leeds equalize at Carlisle but it’s still 3-2 to Carlisle on aggregate.

It’s still all Saints, going for the proverbial jugular and you sense that the Fake Dons know the game is up and resort to Ince tactics as Waigo collects an elbow in the face. His subsequent conversation with the ref must have been strange as he speaks no English whatsoever.

A regular feature of all games against the Fake Dons this year has been the game you can play whenever the ball rolls towards Gueret, in the Fake Dons goal… “which angle will the ball slice off his foot at ?” He manages a 20 degree one which is not too bad, then a 45 but then surpasses himself with a 90 which is a far out as you can be without going backwards. Whilst Gueret is slicing for all his life’s worth, Carlisle are slicing through Leeds again and it’s 2-1 on the night, 4-2 on aggregate. Radio Solent Dickhead goes into overdrive with “it’s Saints v Carlisle at Wembley on March 28th”.

Saints respond to this by throwing some awful defending into the mix as Harding says “after you”, Fonte says “after you” (in Portuguese) and Jaidi says “after you” (in French) and Randall just puts it in the net. Suddenly we’re panicking and looking for half time as the Fakes pile it on without actually having another shot. Half time, 2-1, 3-1 on aggregate.

During the half time break, news filters through that Leeds have scored twice in the last 10 and now it’s 4-4 on aggregate and penalties are about to start. The second half starts at SMS and Sir Rickie is still taking corners. I’m temporarily distracted as nothing much is going on at SMS, so I start watching the Carlisle v Leeds penalties on BBC text updates. 1-0, Leeds miss, 2-0, 2-1, 3-1, 3-2, Carlisle miss, 3-3, 4-3 and Dickhead announces on the radio that Carlisle are through, 4-4. Come on Carlisle!!! 5-4, 5-5, 6-5, Leeds miss and Carlisle are finally through but Solent Dickhead is not as confident as before, as it’s now “Carlisle versus the winners of tonight”

We’re into the last half hour and it’s stopped being an interesting game as Saints appear to have settled for what they have and it’s just turned into a niggle-fest in midfield with nothing much happening. Solent Dickhead punctuates the tension by announcing after a foul by Wilbraham, that Saints have a "free cock" which sounds like the sort of thing Avram Grant allegedly has in Unit 1, Horton Heath.

With 15 left, Pards decides that it’s time to bolster the midfield and Wotton comes on for Schneiderlin who has once again, flattered to deceive. Solent Dickhead announces that James has come on but of course, he hasn’t. Those who have “less than 2 minutes” on the spread betting for “First Wotton Foul” are duly rewarded as Wotton goes slicing and dicing like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill. It’s getting more and more niggly and the Master of Niggle and Very Fast Driving, Wayne Thomas tries to start a fight and gets booked. Ince’s last throw of the dice is to bring on the 40 year old midfielder just in time for Saints to wrap it all up with a goal from Lallana – 3-1 on the night, 4-1 on aggregate, 5 minutes left and we’re going to Wem-ber-ley….

Despite the formality of what’s about to happen and having already been booked, Thommo decides that it’s worth running 40 yards to get involved in Fonte’s ruck with the ever irritating Wilbraham. Yellow for Wilbraham, lecture for Thommo who is immediately substituted to a standing ovation. He leaves the pitch to 29,000 people cheering in the Fake Dons bench giving him the large one. I like Thommo but when the red mist comes down, it really comes down…

Game over, job done and as I mentioned before, we’re going to Wem-ber-ley. I look forward to the post game insight from Karl ‘Bullshit’ Robinson, the Fake Dons assistant manager. Was our celebration ok Karl?, did you outplay us again Karl? Winning was all that mattered tonight and we completed the job with something to spare. In truth, one gifted goal aside, the Fake Dons never threatened.

Now we move on to the matter of playing our nearest and dearest rivals in the FA Cup on Saturday. It’s transpired that it could well be their last ever game as the High Court has given them a 7 day extension to find a shedload of clean money in the washing machine which is assuming they’ve paid the electricity bill to operate the washing machine. We could win and go through and bizarrely, we could draw and go through. Forgetting all that and concentrating on the game – I’m worried that our midfield will get overrun as that’s where Pompey’s strength is and we’re weak there. Hammond is of course, not up to full speed yet and for me, Schneiderlin is just not effective enough. Personally I’d play three in the centre – Hammond, James and Lallana breaking forward to support Sir Rickie. I’m not the manager though and for that we should be grateful….

For us Saints fans, it’s all set up to be a beautiful weekend and all we can do is hope Pards and the team can deliver. To echo the programme notes of the late great Alan Ball, get home safely…

JPT Southern Final 1st Leg - MK Dons 0 Southampton 1

Groundstaff prepare the World Cup pitch at stadium:mk

It’s 6.45 and I’m in the pub, my usual pub with my usual football watching pint of Guinness. It’s a tactical Guinness because I can’t drink them quickly – if I drink lager when watching football then I’ve got an empty glass every 15 minutes and I end up completely shedded. Trying to work the day after a lager evening watching the play off defeat to Derby (120mins plus penalties) is one of those memories that never goes away.

It’s JPT time again with us away at the stadium:mk – what a wanky name, especially when written in lower case letters like it always seems to be. This is one of the grounds earmarked to be developed should England win the bid to host the World Cup in 2018 with Milton Keynes being the hotbed of football that it is – all that history and tradition etc.

So, Guinness in hand and the TV is on with no sound and the teamsheet is flashed upon screen. Due to a combination of injuries (Hammond), illness (Harding) and being cup tied (Seabourne and Otsemobor), there are a total of five changes with Holmes dropping to the bench. Into the side came Thomas, Perry and Mills to the defence and Antonio and Wotton to the midfield. Instead of reverting to Davis as captain as you would expect, Pards gave the armband to Jose Fonte in only his second start.

Away we go and Saints tear into them from the off and nearly take he lead in the first minute as after staying forward, Captain Fonte controlled well and lashed a shot just wide. Two things were immediately obvious, one was that Saints were well up for it and looked by far the stronger side and the other was that the pitch was like a ploughed field. Antonio went on a mazy run and after beating a player had to check back when confronted with a cabbage and some turnips.

A glorious chance presented itself ten minutes in with Antonio breaking down the right with Lallana streaking in the middle from the left. The whole pub (well, me anyway) stood and yelled ‘pass it’ but Antonio didn’t get his head up and allowed the covering defender to get to him whilst Lallana stood in the middle with his arms in the air making vague flappy motions.

Lallana got his chance for real a few minutes later when again, Antonio burst clear and this time squared it. The covering defender tripped over a cabbage and left Lallana with just the ball and a load of time for company. Instead of taking a touch he took it first time and half hit it straight at the keeper who flapped it away. How many more chances were we going to create without scoring? Answer… none.

A free-kick from Mills on the left was headed on by Lambert where Michail Antonio controlled before swivelling and firing in off of the far post. Great finish and a thoroughly deserved lead. The camera pans to what appears to be a cardboard cut out of Paul Ince in the stand.

Last week I said that I very rarely note an opposition player anymore but I have to say that Jason Puncheon looks a very good player for Milton Keynes. He scored a good free kick against us at SMS and tonight he was looking like the only player who would cause us any problems. Meanwhile, the World Cup pitch was getting worse as the game went on and on first view, I thought it was responsible for James going over in the penalty area. On replay though, he was hoofed up in the air by a clumsy challenge and as they say …”I’ve seen ‘em given”. It’s still really all Saints and Lambert lined up a 30 yard free-kick. Trouble for Rickie now is that there is a level of expectation so when he misses (by bloody miles this time) there is a tangible disappointment.

And that was it. They changed the fucking channel over to the Liverpool v Spurs game. Every second Dubliner is a Liverpool fan and the pub I was in could only show one Sky Channel. My first and most reasonable argument was that the Liverpool game didn’t kick off until 8pm in half an hour but the barman was probably a fucking plastic Scouser so wanted to watch the preamble. My second argument that Liverpool were shit, our game would be better and the fat waiter would get sacked after the game was a bit less reasonable. It was time for a one man pub crawl in search of the game. The next pub I went in was showing the Liverpool game and the Villa / Blackburn Carling Cup Semi. It’s a good job I didn’t try to argue that our game would be better entertainment than that game as it ended 6-4. I realised then that I was not going to find it and headed home. Half time text as I was walking home in the rain, 1-0 to the mighty Yellows.

At home, the internet connection was down and things are not going well. There is no mention of the game on the radio so all I have is internet commentary on my phone which is not great and costs a fortune. Needs must though… it still reads like it’s mostly Saintsand the time ticks on. Holmes is on for Lallana and he immediately gets booked for kicking the ball away. Nice one.

Ten minutes to go and still 1-0 and not much in terms of goal threat from the Fake Dons and then Schneiderlin gets sent off for handbags after pushing the guy who provoked him. It’s frustrating and the ref should have handled it better but by the letter of the law he had to go and so we were down to 10 men. Regardless, we repelled the little amount of pressure that was put on us and won by what I would call a comfortable 1-0.

The aftermath of the game was dominated by some comments by the Fake Dons assistant manager who was not impressed by the Saints players and fans celebrations after the game. After all it was only half time and we were apparently celebrating like we’d already won it. If memory serves, we got the hump with Derby after the first leg of the playoff semi final when we lost at home. At the time I thought it was pretty naff to mention it in public as it just sounded like sour grapes and this time is no different. Why not celebrate anyway… you’ve just gone away from home and won. I’d like for Billy Nomates MK Fake Dons assistant manager to write a guideline for celebrating a win in the away leg of a two legged fixture. Apparently they’re going to use it for motivation. Is he suggesting that his players weren’t motivated and they will be for the return leg. Moron – shut up, you got outplayed by the better side and all that despite giving us a cabbage patch to play on.

It’s the return of everyone’s favourite Irish Psychopath Roy Keane on Saturday with Saints taking on Ipswich in the 4th Round of the FA Cup. I think we have a decent chance in this one but Pards is going to struggle with the selection especially in the centre of midfield with Hammond injured and now Schneiderlin suspended. Wotton will play and I assume be partnered with James if he’s not needed at right back. Thing is that I think he will be as all three of the new defenders are cup tied so Thomas will have to play centre back with Perry unless he throws in Aaron Martin. An alternative could be to play James at right back and bring Oscar Gobern Carlton Palmer into the midfield. Doesn’t matter who we pick… Bring it on.

League 1 Match 14 - Southampton 3 MK Dons 1

REAL !!!

FAKE !!!

Milton Keynes Dons came to town on Saturday for a game between the two in-form sides of the Division. The poisoned chalice of ‘Manager of the Month’ almost certainly awaits Alan Pardew or Paul Ince, depending on the outcome of the game. Actually, I have an issue with that… it’s not a poisoned chalice at all… I imagine that Sir Alex has won it a few times in the Prem and then not gone on a ten match losing streak so all that poisoned chalice stuff is a load of balls really.

So what do we know about MK Dons ? I liked Wimbledon and I liked going to Plough Lane. I also liked the fact that they consistently got up the noses of the real big boys, culminating in Lawrie Sanchez heading the winner in the FA Cup Final v Liverpool. It’s also not exaggerating to say that the day Wimbledon were franchised off and moved to Milton Keynes, was a day when a part of my love affair with football ended.

MK Dons official history now starts in 2004 but let no one forget where they came from and the questions that are in my mind. Are any of their fans ex-Wimbledon fans ? Do they talk of that FA Cup win like we talk of 1976 ? Do they have the Crazy Gang spirit ? It irritated me immensely in the build up to see David Connolly referred to as an ‘ex-Don’ on one of their websites. Fuck off. He played for Wimbledon, the proper Dons. Fake Dons… I want us to beat you and beat you well.

Saints were unchanged for the match with Hammond and Lallana shrugging of minor knocks to keep Connolly on the bench. Saganowski’s career descent showed no signs of arresting as he was again missing from the bench. There are unconfirmed reports that he was directing traffic at Six Dials before the match.

The confident Saints pour forward from the off and it’s a procession towards the MK goal with Lallana twice going close, denied once by the keeper and one by a last ditch block. Papa Waigo nearly had dance frenzy but the goal was disallowed for a tight offside before out of nowhere, the fake Dons franchised the ball and moved it near our goal for the first time in the match and cracked home a direct free kick for 1-0. Half time.

I have no idea what the atmosphere was like at half time because I was in Florida at an Indiana Jones Stunt Demonstration in Disneyland so this report has been compiled courtesy of other peoples reports and Saints TV. I signed up for the free 14 Day trial before going on holiday and shall give you my verdict on the service soon…. Lets just say that the buffering of the video was Wotton-esque in pace. Anyway…Indy was kicking ‘bad guys butt’ and everyone was cheering whilst I was cursing the injustice of it all. Could Saints produce the Disney ending in the 2nd half?

Last week at Oldham, Pardew produced a substitution that produced a goal within two minutes and the man did it again introducing Michail Antonio and ex-Wimbledon-not-Milton-fucking-Keynes forward, David Connolly in place of Wotton and Waigo. A switch to a more orthodox 4-4-2 and after a six man move, the previously derided (by me) Lloyd James swung over a cross that Hammond attacked and neatly guided in on the volley for 1-1. There was at this point a lull in the Indiana Jones action so I got a few looks when I was the only person cheering when Lambert made it 2-1 with a neat goal from a free kick, again taken by my favourite Welshman, Lloyd James.

Indy had beaten all the bad guys and got the girl after it all looked a bit dodgy early on and Saints had done the same with the final action being a poachers goal from David Connolly, latching onto a hilarious back pass from the MK left back. Can you imagine a proper Wimbledon full back like Terry Phelan or Alan Kimble doing that ? No… it would have been a 70 yard hoof upto an elbows-flailing centre forward.

Things are looking very good and we have now climbed above Tranmere in the table. If Pards gets his manager of the month award then he deserves it and I have a feeling that it won’t be a poisoned chalice at all. We’re on the march and looking upwards. After 5 years of hell, it’s a nice feeling to have…. The fake Dons were the in-form side in the division (apart from us) and we beat them easily with their goal coming from their only on-target shot. Saints can easily deal with hoof ball tactics from opponents (which is all MK had apparently) and any team that thinks they can get change from hoofing it towards Jaidi and Trotman is quite frankly, deluding themselves. We also now seem to have personnel to play 4-3-3 and 4-4-2 which will give Pards more confidence that he can change things for different opponents. The last manager we had who had the guts to swap things about was George Burley but he only did it because he couldn’t remember who played the previous week, let alone their positions.

4 league wins in a row, +11 points. Win v Orient next week and we could be out of the relegation zone.

As for the MK Dons…. Fake Dons, Fake Cows, Fake Position in the League, Fake Off…