Carling Cup 1st Round - Southampton 4 Torquay 1

Torquay's Finest Can't Believe Bart saved his Header

Torquay at home in the Carling Cup 1^st Round and a chance for yours truly to take his 6 year old to the game.  My dad, in his infinite wisdom, had bought my son one of those big foam hand things from the Saints Megastore a week or so earlier and the hand was present.  I realised what sort of evening I was going to be in for when I got hit in the face with the hand three times and we hadn’t even parked the car yet.  Usually we park on the Woolston side of the Itchen Bridge and walk across so I did wonder if the wind would send the foam hand swimming in the river but we instead parked near the ground so unavoidably, the hand was coming to the game.

Once in the ground, my lad was picking out the players in the warm up and realised that his favourite, Jose Fonte wasn’t there.  All the others were though but as it turned out, they were all substitutes with only Sir Rickie (Captain for the night), the Gulyman and Aaron Martin surviving from Saturday’s team.  David Connolly and Fonte had dropped out altogether and everyone else was on the bench aside from Jonno Pace who must have been a bit annoyed that he wasn’t playing.

The first ten minutes are kind of neutral with neither team in the ascendancy.  Firstly the Gulyman has a shot blocked following a Holmes cross and then Torquay have a similar effort blocked by Butterfield.  Torquay have a traditional ‘lower league centre forward’ in that he’s pain in the hole without being remotely mobile.  Dan Seaborne is picking him up and trying to try and tackle round him or head over him.

On 13 minutes we take the lead when Chaplow plays a simple pass to Steve de Ridder who cut in and fired it across the keeper into the far corner.  Nice finish but I’m not too sure where the defenders were.    The crowd sat back to await the slaughter and revelled in the first goal for the man from Belgium and it was almost as if the players did too, as Butterfield failed to clear when he had the chance, a cross and a free header later and it was 1-1, about 30 seconds after they kicked off.

Morgan Schneiderlin is having a positive influence on the game, showing the full range of passing, picking out Holmes and de Ridder with regularity.  He’s also getting stuck in and having won the ball back, is hacked down 25 yards out, just left of centre.  If you told Sir Rickie to take a free kick wherever he liked then it would be 25 yards out, just left of centre.  Bang, no one moves, 2-1.  Textbook, foam hand in the face.

Torquay decide to feed the big lumpy bloke up front and it’s working for them as Seaborne is having a nightmare, not winning any headers and not getting his positioning right.  He ends up in front of the ball at one point as Torquay attack and seemed to give up the chase as the two players who got back to clear were Chaplow and Schneiderlin.

The folically challenged midfield maestro is having a great game, playing a bit deeper and with more discipline than usual but still breaking forward well.  In the main, he’s the one coming short to collect the ball so Seaborne and Martin don’t have to revert to smashing it up to Sir Rickie.  Not having a great game is the Gulyman who quite frankly, looks like he doesn’t want to be there.  A few flicks and feints don’t come off and as a result we’re continually turning possession over to Torquay and making it easy for them.

Half time mainly passed with the feeding of sweets and drinks to a 6 year old and mock fights which I had to lose as I didn’t have a big foam hand weapon of mass destruction.   “Portsmouth 0 Barnet 1” said the announcer to which I cheered.  “Why you cheering Dad”.  “Because they’re fu..... erm, losing to a League 2 side”.

Steve de Ridder starts the second half well with some nice skill, quick feet and showboating in general, playing the Gulyman through on goal for an expert finish, denied by a marginal (but early) offside call.  Lee Holmes has another opportunity following a layoff by Sir Rickie but his ambitious chip, clears the keeper and about 10 rows of empty seats at the Chapel End.

On 70 minutes, Hammond and Lallana come on for de Ridder and Holmes and we revert to the often maligned Diamond formation which coincides with Torquay creating a few chances, hitting the outside of a post on one occasion and on another, forcing Bart into a superb save down by the post.  It struck me that I may have to do battle with the foam hand for extra time as well as protecting the people in front of me.

Hammond (“Dad, is he Richard Hammond’s brother?”) and Lallana are beginning to run the game now and a glorious passing move break out on the pitch with Schneiderlin and Lallana combining to present the Gulyman with a sitter from 10 yards which he predictably sidefoots wide in his last action of the day as he’s immediately replace with Jonno Pace.  The sub was ready to come on anyway but to the uneducated it would have looked like Nigel had despaired at the miss and hauled him straight off.

The game is made safe soon afterwards as Chappers cuts in from the right wing and the defence was nowhere, similar to the de Ridder goal.  It looked a bit like a mishit bobbler but whatever it was, it kind of went through the keeper at the near post and made it 3-1.  Regardless of it being a bit streaky, it was a thoroughly deserved goal for our best player on the night.

The game was over now and Saints took over to attempt to put a flattering sheen on the scoreline.  Lallana strode through from midfield and crashed a shot against the bar from 25 yards before the 4^th goal arrived with virtually the last kick as Chappers crossed from the right and Jonno Pace forced it home at the back post.

In the excitement of the fourth goal, a teenage girl with straight hair was accidentally assaulted by a small boy with a large foam hand, resulting in a big lump of statically charged hair sticking out from the back of her head.  Luckily, she didn’t notice though there were 3 generations of my family trying not to laugh.  Game over and into the next round and why not.  Would be quite nice to play a decent side as all the non-Europe competing Premier league sides come into the draw.  Oh yeah, Portsmouth 0 Barnet 1 so it won’t be them.

What was basically our 2^nd string side made hard work of this and but for Bart’s superb save, we were looking at 2-2 and extra time and potential embarrassment.  Seconds later it was 3-1 and fine margins and all that.  I was quite impressed by Torquay’s willingness to have a go but some of their long range shooting was hilarious as at least 4 shots ended up nearer the corner flag than the goal.  As soon as we brought on Hammond and Lallana and got used to the formation change though, we cruised it really.

It was a chance today for our players to show the manager that they should be picked and if I’m being brutally honest, only Chaplow, Bart and de Ridder gave performances that would make the manager think.  Dan Seaborne probably made him think that he needs a new centre half as soon as possible.   We got back to the car in time to hear Diamond Dave eulogising about Bart’s save... “Gordon Banks, I tell you what”.   Hmmm, let me think, Gordon Banks saving from Pele, probably the best player ever, England v Brazil, World Cup 1970 in front of nearly 67,000 people and a TV audience of millions with the whole country behind him against Bart saving from Torquay's finest - Basil Fawlty, Southampton Reserves v Torquay, Carling Cup 2011 in front of about 26,000 empty seats on Saints Player Pay-Per-View.  No comparison.

Next up is Barnsley away and a return to league action as long as there are no Barnsley riots at the weekend.  I can maybe see Chappers starting at right midfield on Saturday as Barnsley away might not be The Gulyman’s cup of tea.  Whoever plays though, we go full of confidence and another 3 points would be very nice, please.

JPT Final Preview

So… all the league fixtures are done for now and the next game is the Johnstone Paints Trophy Final at Wembley Stadium v Carlisle United.

It’s worth having a little recap here of our progress in the competition so far. To see blog entries - click this link http://leagueoneminus10.blogspot.com/search/label/JPT

We got a bye in the first round and in the 2nd, got a home draw against Torquay and we were quickly 2-0 down. I think that at this point, if they didn’t already, most fans saw this cup as an irrelevance and we didn’t care, it was beneath us, it was a waste of time, stupid little tin pot trophy etc etc. Two close range goals from Papa Waigo and Paul Wotton hitting home the winning penalty in the shoot-out... and we were happy enough.

The 3rd round brought us Charlton at home and the motivation for this game was there due to the quality of the opposition, the game being live on Sky and Pards being their much-hated ex-manager. We thrashed them 2-1 with goals from Wayne Thomas and Sir Rickie. We were totally dominant in the game with Charlton spawning a last minute consolation. Now we were all taking it quite seriously.

The Southern Regional Semi-Final brought another home draw, this time against Norwich City – more decent opposition and once again, despite a goal from Papa Waigo, we were losing 2-1 with a minute to go. Following a forearm smash by Michail Antonio on deserving recipient Grant Holt, once again, that man Papa Waigo popped up to force a penalty shootout which we won with James and Antonio’s misses cancelled out by three excellent saves by the Bart Man and so it fell to Wayne Thomas of all people, to stroke home the winning penalty. Now we were taking it very seriously indeed.

The Regional Final was against the Fake Dons and we won the away leg 1-0 with a goal from Michail Antonio and really should have won by more. We over-celebrated in full view of renowned cretin Karl Robinson. In between the first and second legs, we pulled a neat trick out of the bag and signed their best player in Jason Puncheon and even though he was cup tied and couldn’t play for us, we won the 2nd leg 3-1 at a bit of a canter with goals from Lambert, Lallana and a funny own goal. We’re going to Wem-ber-ley.

The ticket allocations were announced and we were given 44,000 which at the time, I thought we’d be hard pressed to sell. Despite a ticket office phone meltdown, I got mine on Day 1, only to find the best seats had sold out. Within a couple of weeks we had shifted 40,000 and rumours were that there would be no general sale which is astounding really but astounding in a good way. The ‘sold out’ signs went up and then the rumblings began about trying to possibly getting more tickets, especially when it emerged that Carlisle were only bringing 20,000 and there would be approximately 20,000 empty seats. Don Nicola Cortese weighed in and revealed that he had offered to pay for extra stewards and also had explained to the FA, how to allocate us extra seats and avoid segregation issues (the poor reason that we’d been given for no extra tickets). It seems though that the FA would rather save face than have an extra 15,000 fans paying approximately £30 a ticket. That’s nearly half a million quid which is more ammunition for the ‘FA is a joke’ brigade. I hope someone is sacked over that as it’s not as if they couldn’t do with the money as the Wembley pitch has just had to yet again, be relaid at great expense. The cost of the new pitch would easily have been covered by the income from the extra tickets they could have let us sell. Idiots.

Going back to the pitch for a second… there has been a load of negative publicity over the state of the Wembley pitch and talk as to whether it’s been a factor in players getting injured etc. Maybe they relaid it because of that but they probably did it because the Saints are in town. The JPT Final will be the first match played on it and after that it’ll probably be a couple of Rugby League matches and a Take That gig before they have to bring in another new pitch. Maybe it’s the Take That gig that rots the pitch with all the women in the audience wetting themselves.

And here we are…. Four days to go and we have an injury crisis. In League 1, we are usually or occasionally fielding 4 players who are cup tied for the JPT in Lee Barnard, Jason Puncheon, Dan Seaborne and Jon Otsemobor. None of those can play and in addition, Wayne Thomas and Graeme Murty are definitely out and there are question marks over Adam Lallana, Radhi Jaidi, Morgan Schneiderlin, David Connolly and Lloyd James.

I’m going to try and predict the team. Warning – I’m usually useless at this.

Goalkeeper : Kelvin Davis, enough said. Bart on the bench.
Right Back: Dan Harding has played here for the last two league games so I expect him to start the final here unless Wayne Thomas miraculously recovers or Pards wants to play both Harding and Mills down the left. Of course there is also the option of pulling out a strange one and playing Paul Wotton (very slow) or Simon Gillett (very short) here. Of these two I’d play Wotton I guess though the prospect of him lighting up Wembley with one of his special tackles when the ball has long since gone is one that makes me shudder. In addition there is the horrible prospect of Lloyd James playing here. Please No.
Left Back: Joseph Mills unless he gets pushed into midfield with Harding behind him.
Centre Backs: Jose Fonte and Radhi Jaidi though Chris Perry will play if Jaidi fails to make it. I hope that Perry gets on the pitch at some point as he’s been a good player for us and this will be his last season with the club.
Right midfield: Adam Lallana or maybe Papa Waigo if Adam plays on the left and we’re not bothered about the right winger tracking back Michail Antonio would be starting here if he was fit and it must be devastating for him to miss out.
Left midfield: I think (and I worry) that Lee Holmes will get the nod here despite not being in the League 1 squad for about a month. He came into the squad after Christmas and surprisingly, started a few games and has disappeared as quickly as he arrived despite not doing too badly. There is always the possibility though, that he is injured. Other possibilities are to play Lallana here with Waigo on the right or to play Joseph Mills with Harding at left back.
Centre Midfielders: Dean Hammond and Morgan Schneiderlin though expect Paul Wotton or maybe Simon Gillett to play here if Schneiderlin misses out. I would slightly favour Gillett out of the two as keeping the ball is not really a Wotton strength.
Strikers: Rickie Lambert and Papa Waigo N’Diaye with David Connolly fit only for the bench. It’s a big pitch so expect Papa to be offside by even further than usual but also expect Connolly to be given 20-25 minutes at the end.

There is always a ‘fairytale’ story around team selection for Cup Finals. Remember at Cardiff 2003 when Chris Baird came from nowhere to start the final. This years Chris Baird could be either Simon Gillett or Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain though I do think that both of these will end up on the bench.

I have watched Saints at Wembley three times: Charity Shield in 1976, League Cup Final in 1979, ZDS Cup Final in 1992. Lost, lost and lost again. I, of course, also went to Cardiff in 2003 where we lost again. So, yes I want to enjoy the day and yes I know it’s not the most important cup competition in the world but on Sunday it’s one that I desperately want us to win. In 2003, the feeling I came away with was of a great day and the fact that we lost was almost secondary after a while. There is no question that we should win this one and there will be no consolation for the 44,000 travelling Saints and the 15,000 unable to get a ticket, if we don’t.

Come on you Reds. (not Yellows this time)

Johnstone Paints Trophy 2nd Round - Southampton 2 Torquay 2 (Saints win 5-3 on pens)

" That is Torquay Madam !"

Once upon a time, long ago, someone invented a Cup competition for teams who he felt sorry for. These teams were untouched by Premiership millions and the immediate undignified scramble to get access to the Premiership millions. Actually, it was before the Premiership (yes, football did exist before) but you get my drift. The teams in this cup competition would have a chance to play against teams of similar ability (pretty crap) for the prize of a day out at Wembley. Some would say this is patronising.

Until this season of course, we fans of the once mighty Southampton FC had not been interested in the slightest in the Associate Members Freight Rover Leyland DAF Autoglass Auto Windscreen LDV Vans Johnstone Paints Mickey Mouse Small Fry Tin Pot Cup, to give it all of its’ titles down the years. It was something Bournemouth entered and of no interest or consequence. The only time it ever registered on my personal radar was last year when Luton Town won it and protested against the Football League who had at the start of last season, under the guidance of the Mawhinney the Arse, deducted them 30 points in a move to ensure their relegation. . This year…. It’s important.

It’s important to Alan Pardew and he said as much in the pre-match interviews and it’s important to me and to many others I’m guessing. I’m 40 years old and have had three Wembley trips with the Saints: the 1976 Charity Shield which I barely remember, the 1979 League Cup Final which I remember a bit about and the 1992 Zenith Data Systems Cup Final which I remember well. The ZDS Cup is a good comparison as it was a minor competition in that all the big boys weren’t in it. Getting to the final was a great thing for me personally and I had a great day out. I didn’t care that it was a minor trophy and I didn’t care about who wasn’t in it and who wasn’t taking it seriously. We were in it and we were at Wembley and that was all that mattered.

Who can spot the common factor with all these appearance at Wembley ? Yes that’s right, we lost every bastard one of them….

Torquay are our opponents in the Regional 2nd Round (we got a bye through the 1st) and we’ve tinkered a bit with Trotman, Jaidi, Lallana and Mellis being rested and replaced with Perry, Thomas, Gillett and recently acquired loan from Reading, Michail Antonio, of whom we have been told by Pardew to ‘not expect too much’. All I know about Torquay is that they have only just recently got back in League 2, Fawlty Towers was based there and a friend of mine who supports Plymouth, refers to them unaffectionately as Torqueer.

Seeing as we have a fairly stong line-up, I’m expecting this game to not be too much bother …. 1-0 to Torquay….Jesus. Apparently it’s a blunder by Kelvin Davis but never mind, we’ll storm back and put them in their place. 2-0 to Torquay from penalty conceded by Kelvin Davis who gets booked for his trouble. Kelvin is obviously having a stormer of a game.

Half time – ah well, Micky Mouse Trophy – not bothered about it anyway, pointless!!

So having not expected too much of Antonio, I was proved right when he was substituted along with Gillett. They’re replaced with Mills and Saganowski which could only make things better.

The second half is all Saints by the sound of it and we are rewarded with a Double Waigo – two scruffy goals from a combined distance of about 3 yards. Both teams have chances but no winner.

Full time We have officially failed to beat the team in 91st place in the League… and straight to penalties. The 25p a minute texts are going to come flying thick and fast`now…..

Lambert – no problem here surely, Goal – Saints 1 Torquay 0
Wroe – Missssssssssssit, Goal – Saints 1 Torquay 1
Waigo – this could go anywhere, Goal – Saints 2 Torquay 1
Robertson – Come on Kelvin!!!, Goal – Saints 2 Torquay 2
James – Oh no, not confident, just smash it, Goal – Saints 3 Torquay 2
Nicholson – This time…..saved, YESSSSSSS – Saints 3 Torquay 2
Mills – Never trust left footed penalty takers, GET IN – Saints 4 Torquay 2
Mansell – Go on, miss you bugger, Goal – Saints 4 Torquay 3
Wotton – yer having a laugh, surely Saganowski will take it, Goal – Saints win 5-3 on penalties.

Funny how things turn round…. Kelvin goes from hero to goat and back again and the Johnstone Paints Cup goes from important to pointless and back again. So, we scraped it but who cares? It’s one step on the road to Wembley in the most important cup competition of the year….forget the Champions League… the Johnstone Paints Trophy is where it’s at.