Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Premier League Match 30 - West Brom 0 Southampton 1


Jordy Laughs At Ben Foster's Time Wasting 

There comes a point in the season when you realise that you’re not going to get relegated and also that you’re not going to qualify for Europe either.  Manchester United’s win in the EFL Cup Final (sniff!) means that European qualification will come down to 7th place and there’s no way I can think of that means it’ll go any lower.  This year we have the traditional top 6 and Everton, having spent a fortune and got Honest Ron as a manager are nailed on to finish no lower than 7th – they are however having their one good season before their team gets dismantled by huge bids for Lukaku and Barkley… and no one’s got the Barca job as yet…  No worries on that score though as Honest Ron always honours his contract.

Anyway, West Brom are currently the team directly above us in 8th place, 7 points ahead so some could and will call this the 8th place final.  The excitement is huge.  Excitement is not something you associate often with West Brom as they have Tony Pulis in charge and are the definition of workmanlike.  It's all long ball and percentages and long throws and winning dodgy free kicks and time-wasting.  The graphic below explains most of it (credit @WBA_BARACUS).


Pretty uninspiring but they’ve had a really good season and have progressed through the 40 point barrier with ease.  Usually there are 4 centre backs playing as the back 4 and midfielders who don’t fuck about like Claudio Yacob and Darren Fletcher.  If they have any inspiration it’s on the wings with Matt Phillips looking like a decent player again and either Chris Brunt (who has a great left foot) or James MacClean who let’s just say, is a character.

In addition to the injury list we already have including Gabbiadini, Austin, Virgil and Boufal – Steve Davis has done himself a mischief running into Delaney of Palace last week and he’s out too, as is Oriol Romeu who has managed to whack 10 players up in the air. These are just the ones that the referees have spotted.  In to the team come Hojbjerg and Clasie to form the defensive midfield but some good news is that Ryan Bertrand is back.

West Brom are clearly going to play the only way they know which is as an away side.  I wonder how long it will be before Ben Foster starts wasting time.  For now anyway, Bertrand and Redmond combine to release Tadic who crosses it behind Shane Long who is not offside and it’s cleared by Nyom.  When West Brom get forward it’s a similar story as Phillips fires the ball over and it perfectly finds no one.

Saints have started pretty well with Hojbjerg and Clasie showing no signs of rustiness and controlling the midfield.  We’re playing decent stuff whereas our opponents are resorting to belting it up to Rondon and the big fat lad does well to knock it down to Morrison, onto Chadli and the ex-Spurs player puts it well over.  Chadli was one of those brought into Spurs to replace Gareth Bale – needless to say, he didn’t.

Having noted West Brom playing Pulis-ball, we have a go as Fraser whacks it long and Shane Long manages to manoeuvre the much bigger McAuley out of the way and bring it down perfectly.  He breaks forward and finds Tadic in the box but he has his back to goal and nowhere to go so he plays a simple ball back to Clasie who absolutely creams it right footed and it flies past Foster who doesn’t move and into the top corner.  What a fucking strike that is.  An almost exact replica of his goal at Arsenal in the EFL Cup.

Having done really well with the goal, Shane reverts to type a few minutes later and it almost costs us.  Tadic wins the ball and plays a perfect ball through the defence and Shane is through but he cuts across Evans and just falls over.  I do not know what the fuck has happened there.  Has he just got his feet in a mess and fallen over or has he anticipated contact that didn’t come and gone down.  Either way, West Brom have the ball, break and a cross comes in from the right and Rondon is up well to head back across but there is Fraser, sticking out a big left mitt to slap it away.  Good save.

Shane is now the pantomime villain with the Baggies fans but they should be grateful when we fizz the ball around in their box, only for Shane to fuck it up with a piss poor touch.  There’s some more great interplay before Redmond crosses for Shane to put wide.  Half time and 1-0 to the good and looking relatively comfortable but this game would be dead already if we had a striker.

Stephens starts the second half looking comfortable in possession and ambling forward with the ball which eventually falls for Tadic to put an ambitious volley wide.  Matt Phillips makes his first contribution to the game by scything straight through Clasie which is a challenge that would have got him sent off against a big club.  Chris Brunt is on for them and we can’t afford to give away too many free kicks in our half now as he’s got a great delivery on him but we of course, use his introduction as a cue to give away some free kicks.  Pulisball dictates that his side must be good at free kicks as they’re hardly going to score goals any other fucking way and in it comes, headed out by Stephens and Livermore shoots over.

Pulis takes off Phillips and it’s a like for like swap in that it’s a winger for a winger.  It’s not a like a like for like swap in that as far as I know, Matt Phillips is not an ‘character’ but he’s been replaced with James McClean.

We need a second goal to kill this off as West Brom are looking more dangerous.  The match winner from the return game at St.Mary’s, Hal Robson-Kanu is on.  This news reminds me that we all need to celebrate and make videos of ourselves doing it if Wales fail to get to the World Cup finals.  We are dangerous ourselves with some great play by Cedric, linking with Tadic and JWP up the right before putting the cross over and Redmond meets it on the volley but Foster saves well at the near post.

Both teams then have a go at gifting chances to the opposition as a Cedric mistake presents it to Morrison, onto Character McClean and eventually Chadli who takes aim and hits it straight at the big bloke in our goal.  No danger but there’s plenty as Foster proves that he’s not a great when it comes to playing football and shanks a kick straight to Tadic on the right who advances, cuts in and then curls a shot just over the bar.  A foot lower and Foster didn’t have a prayer.

Claude rolls the dice with 20 minutes to go and us on top.  He has faith in the youngsters to see it out and McQueen and Sims are on for Redmond and JWP which is no negative slant on either player as they’d both had decent games.  The rest of normal time passes without incident but you just know that they’re going to be launching everything into the box and here it comes.  The Character crosses and Fraser makes his first mistake of the day, flapping the cross out to Hal Sheep-Shagger and he launches it over the bar, because he’s shit.

Another free kick to defend on 92 minutes and in it comes from Brunt, half cleared and Chipped back in and there is Dawson, onside and fifteen yards out.  He volleys and Fraser takes off to his left to parry it away and then watches as Nyom, lashes over the bar.   93 and surely we’re not going to give them another chance – of course we are.  Another free kick which comes in from Brunt and headed away for a corner.  That wanker Ben Foster is up but it’s flicked on by someone else and Johnny Evans has a free shot from 8 yards which he kind of falls over and Fraser paws it away again.  Just blow the fucking whistle.  Thank you.

Get the fuck in there.  A win in the 8th place final which at least gives us something to aim for.  It was great to see a strong performance from Fraser and once more, everyone contributed.  The two lads brought into the midfield did an excellent job and Tadic and Redmond again continued their good form.  Whisper it quietly but the Stephens and Yoshida partnership is beginning to look decent at last though I still think that Virgil will come back into the team when fit …. And what a goal from Clasie! – fucking pick that out.  I’ll never forget Ben Foster time wasting from the 3rd minute onwards at St.Mary’s a couple of years ago so it’s always nice to see that particular weapon taken out of his armoury when the first goal flies past him and we take the lead.  It would have been a lot less nerve wracking to have notched a second goal but that’s where we are whilst Gabbiadini is injured.  Shane Long is always going to miss loads, fall over when clean through, dive when he should shoot etc.  Having said that, it was a great touch to bring down the ball from Fraser’s bomb forward and feed Tadic who teed up Clasie for the goal.

Fraser does need an extra mention as in the main this year, he’s been Stekelenburg-esque in his ability to not let in goals that are obviously his fault but save absolutely nothing.  The saves from Rondon’s header that was going back across him and from Dawson’s volley in the 92nd minute really were top class.  Maybe The Great Wall is back.

So well done Claude, 40 points and a Cup Final from a season disrupted by lots of injuries to key players, shite fixture planning, Jose Fonte being a cock and the board not reacting until after the transfer window had closed.  We are staying up and we still look motivated and hungry, despite having on the face of it, not a lot to play for.  However, we’ve won the 8th place Cup Final so now we have a chance to finish… 8th


Next up is a small matter of Manchester City at home who can look absolutely brilliant going forward but are a shambles defensively so it’s definitely one we have a chance in.  Hopefully they’ve have Claudio Bravo in goal so we know that any shot on target is a goal.

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