Premier League Match 7 - Aston Villa 1 Southampton 0

 

Sali Asks If We Can Go Home Now

Here we are again two weeks after our last game and the reason for that was of course, the passing of Queen Elizabeth II. This, gave every sports body of the choice of whether to play last weekend or not to play and whilst everyone else played because ... why wouldn’t you?…. football in its wisdom decided to cancel everything from grassroots level to Premier League level, thus causing maximum chaos later on regarding rearranging fixtures into an already packed calendar.

Rumour has it that the authorities were frightened of bad impression that would be given by football fans disrupting the minutes silence or whatever because football fans, particularly those supporting Under-8s grass roots teams, of course as a group, are complete animals who can’t be trusted. Of course, this is true in some cases and the fingers were pointed in the direction of the red half of Merseyside, who played a European game in mid-week and let’s just say, the silence wasn’t immaculately observed. I guarantee that they’ll will be one of the first to moan about fixture congestion as the season goes on.

In addition to last week’s Premier League games being called off, there are also problems this week because there are not enough police resources in modern day Britain to police the Queen‘s funeral on Monday and some Premier League games over the weekend but luckily in the Midlands, there are enough coppers to make sure that tonight’s game can go ahead.

In her 70 years on the throne, the most important event the Queen oversaw was of course the 1976 FA Cup final and once she had presented the trophy to Peter Rodrigues, she decided that she had completed life regarding the FA Cup and never went back afterwards. Rest in peace.

Elsewhere in the world of football, new Chelsea owner Todd Boehly has been causing a bit of a stir by recommending that we need to take “lessons“ from American sports and have, amongst other things, a north versus south All-Star game. Todd… Shut the fuck up.

Tell you what, we will learn lessons from American sports if you implement the following changes in American football. One point for a touchdown to keep the score to a manageable level and the point after only counts in the event of a draw, 45 minutes each way to stop the game being so long and fucking tedious and no specialised attack or defence teams. Just one set of players. How would you react to that proposal from a Brit who doesn’t know very much about American football? Yes, you would think I was a twat and rightly so, for trying to change something I know very little about. It annoys the fuck out of me that this has generated any discussion whatsoever on social media as to who would be in the North team and he would be in the South team. Can you imagine Jürgen Klopp allowing van Dijk and Alisson to play in this?

Moving on, significant international squads have been announced with this being the last international break before the World Cup squads are announced. JWP has made a 28-man England squad and there was brilliant news elsewhere with Armel Bella-Kotchap making the full German squad for the first time. I know it’s only been a few games but I’m not surprised that Hansi Flick has been paying attention to how well our new centre back has been playing. It’s not even worth speculating about what this does to our long-term prospects of keeping hold of the player but I can’t help but be pleased when Southampton players have success as a result of moving to Southampton.

Moussa Djenepo got rewarded for his decent start of the season and been given a new three-year contract which has been pretty universally greeted as a good thing. Personally, I’m really not sure and I would’ve waited until he has proved to be more effective in a more advanced position than the left back slot that he has currently been occupying. If you look at it logically, he is at best our fourth choice left back behind Perraud, Larios and KWP and it’s probably our fourth choice right back behind KWP, Maitland-Niles and the injured Tino Livramento. He of course could well get in the team and contribute on the wing but we haven’t seen it yet and then his previous three years at Saints, has not really looked the part in that position, so I just hope this isn’t another one that we are regretting in a couple of years time because he has hardly played a game.

Once Upon a Time, Many Years Ago

Nathan Redmond left and went to Besiktas in Turkey. Whether or not Besiktas was the right destination for him remains to be seen but he certainly needed a change to give his career a shot in the arm. When you look at the highlights video of Nathan Redmond, there are undoubtedly some great moments and some really good goals but then you remember that that compilation has been made over a six-year period and you realise that there really should have been a lot more given the amount of games that he has played.  Undoubtedly a very talented player and a very frustrating one.  I always questioned his bravery and willingness to go into physical challenges or at times to even go near them as there were so many times when faced one-on-one with the defender, which should be a pacy wingers’ dream scenario, he just turned round and played safe. He did always look very good against substandard opposition though so maybe playing for one of the better sides in the Turkish league will suit him. Good luck to the guy but ultimately, you’d be hard pressed to say that he improved at all from the day we signed him to 6 years later when he left. He was signed as a promising under 21 international, probably with hopes that he’d improve massively and then be sold on for big money, in the same way that his predecessor, Sadio Mane was. Never quite happened. As I say though, nothing against the guy who seems like a really decent bloke and his farewell message was very classy.

This brings us neatly onto today’s opponents Aston Villa, who in their ranks contain Jan Bednarek, Danny Ings and Calum Chambers who all couldn’t wait to get out of Southampton and were all varying degrees of twats in the way they left. Ings has shone in fits and starts at Villa, Bednarek has not played a game yet and a course he can’t play tonight, but I’m sure he’ll be sat in the stands in his Villa tracksuit, giving it the big one if they score. Calum Chambers, like Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain before him, has been a professional substitute everywhere he has been, ever since leaving Southampton.

Villa are managed a course by Steven Gerrard who is going to be under pressure pretty soon if results don’t improve. With the amount of money they’ve spent, I don’t expect the owners were expecting to be floundering around the bottom third of the league. There also appears to have been cracks in the manager-player relationship with a public falling out with Tyrone Mings, which was of course denied despite all the evidence pointing to the contrary, stripping him of the captaincy and all that. Philippe Coutinho absolutely buried us last year so let’s hope that he continues his early season malaise tonight. I bet he doesn’t.

The team news and it’s slightly odd.  Diallo is preferred to AMN in central midfield and the new man isn’t even on the bench so I guess that’s an injury.  The three behind Che is a massive cause for concern.  On paper, Adam Armstrong, Elyounoussi and Djenepo looks shit and totally lacking in creativity – meanwhile, the much more creative Stuart Armstong, Aribo and Edozie warm the bench.  It's a shame that Edozie isn't starting because him versus Ashley Young would be very interesting.

The minutes silence at the start of the game was pretty atmospheric to be fair with the lights dimmed and silence for the duration. Now for the game – Unsurprisingly, Philippe Coutinho was the first one to show up in the game, spinning away from JWP in the left-hand channel before attempting to break the net from the edge of the box like he has done many times against us in the past but this time it flies over the bar.  Coutinho also has the first ever on target as Ashley Young hangs up a ball from the right hand side which everyone misses and Coutinho meets the header on the bounce at the back post but Bazunu shovels it wide easily enough.

The first half is absolutely shit, with neither team being able to string three passes together but there’s always a sense that Villa have more quality on the pitch and so it proves as Coutinho puts over a good cross following a short corner Watkins heads goalwards, Bazunu makes what are first looks like a decent reaction save but the ball bounces down off the crossbar and Jacob Ramsey reacts first to turn it into the net.

For some reason that I can’t fathom, we are off to VAR at Stockley Park-

“Hi Rob - Is it offside?”
“Of course it fucking isn’t Tony”
“You sure? – Ramsey was in an offside position on the original cross”
“Is the year 1983 for fucks sake?”
“No”
“Then it isn’t offside”
“OK…. Game’s shit isn’t it?”
“Wank”
“Goal might liven it up though”
“Have you seen the Dead Parrot Sketch?”

Will This Game Get Any Better?

That there has been nothing happening in the game and we are just a few minutes from half-time, we have a go at conceding second as Leon Bailey cuts in from the right hand side and hits a shot that flicks off Perraud and goes wide.  Villa have something to hang onto now and you can tell that they are going to go all out to stop Saints building any momentum whatsoever. First of all Bailey stamps down on Perraud‘s foot, which should have bought a review from VAR but no one is interested this season and then Jacob Ramsey completely ignores the ball to hack down Djenepo. I hate this kind of challenge. It’s one thing pulling someone back as a tactical foul but when you absolutely wipe someone out deliberately then it should be a red card in my book. Half-time, dog shit.

With Perraud having struggled for the last five minutes with his foot after the stamp tackle which wasn’t deemed worthy of looking at by the referee, Juan Larios is on at half-time and so is Joe Aribo who replaces Diallo, I assume in the centre of midfield.

Nothing happens in the actual game in the opening 25 minutes of the half, apart from us actually having a shot (I use the term loosely) from Che Adams but an out and out highlight occurs in the 70th minute when there is a round of applause for the Queen. Both teams sense the occasion and go a whole minute without giving the ball away, mainly down to the fact that KWP has it in his hands waiting to take a throw-in.

Ralph and the Brains Trust use the minutes applause to make two more substitutions with Armstrong off and Armstrong on and there’s a straight swap in the sacrificial lamb position up front with Adams coming off to be replaced by Sekou Mara.  Four substitutes made and we still have Djenepo and Elyounoussi on the pitch. What a time to be alive.

Despite some very small flashes being shown by the likes of Aribo and Stuart Armstrong, another 10 minutes crawls buy with nothing in terms of efforts on goal from us, so Sam Edozie is our last substitute replacing Elyounoussi, who I have absolutely nothing to say about.  It’s Snake Time on 84 minutes has Danny Ings comes on. I guess he has six minutes plus injury time to cement the England World Cup place he was going to cement when he moved to Villa.

The first time Edozie gets the ball, he spins past Ashley Young who absolutely trashes him and takes a yellow card for the team. Oh, how predictable. In comes the free kick from JWP, ABK heads it down and Salisu can’t quite get a touch and we win a corner. As we are in the 90th minute, big Baz comes up from the back but the corner is headed clear and the snake has a chance on his left foot from the halfway line to welly it towards an open goal but all he manages is a pretty good clearance to near the left corner flag.

There is one final opportunity as Stuart Armstrong wins a free kick off of McGinn’s 35th foul of the game. JWP’s cross picks out Stuart Armstrong in the box but his glancing header drops wide.  The End.

There are some games where you sit down and try and analyse the performance of your own team and you just can’t be bothered because you don’t know where to start and you know that once you start, it’s going to be very difficult to stop.

To put what is about to be said in the correct context, Villa were fucking awful and I cannot imagine that they would’ve won a game against anybody else in the Premier League with the performance that they put in today. It was enough to beat us however.

They beat us because what has to be put down as a goalkeeping mistake with Bazunu not getting the original header up and over the bar which led to a spot of pinball before Jacob Ramsey scored. Once that ball and hit the net the referee may as well have stopped the game. It is unforgivable to be 1-0 down for the best part of an hour without creating a single chance and yet it was also predictable from the moment the team sheet landed.

I can’t work out from the game, exactly what the formation was supposed to be but let’s call it 4-2-3-1. The back four was what is now our first choice back four and they performed pretty well, as they did in the last game against Wolves, restricting the opposition to very few chances.

The midfield two of JWP and Diallo has been proven not to work as a combination on many occasions. It detracts from JWP’s game because he seems to have to keep an eye on Diallo as if he doesn’t trust him and Diallo is just not good enough, end of story.

We are playing a formation with one player upfront and so you have to have ball progression and you have to have runners joining the one player upfront, or else you are not going to create anything from open play, leaving you with set-pieces. Our three players charged with that creative role were Elyounoussi, the newly contracted Djenepo and Adam Armstrong. It looked fucking horrendous on paper at the start of the game and it was fucking horrendous on the pitch as well. All of those three were complete shit, offering absolutely nothing in terms of attacking impetus, nothing in terms of support for Adams and nothing in terms of forward runs so players further back could find them in an attempt to build through the thirds. What happened was is that the centre backs had no one to pass to so ended up booming the ball long. Che Adams in truth did not have a great time upfront but what the fuck can you do when everything is throat height, with 6 foot 5 Tyrone Mings up your arse. It is absurd to expect him to do any better with a diet of complete shit.  This has nothing to do with not signing a striker in the summer.  We could have signed Haaland or Lewandowski and it wouldn’t have made the slightest difference.  No attacking plan at all aside from free-kicks, corners and embarrassing throw-ins straight off for goal kicks.

The first half was so bad that we had to sacrifice Joe Aribo as a potential attacking option and bring him on in midfield to replace the hapless and hopeless Diallo. Maitland-Niles wasn’t even on the bench, whereas I expected him to start the game.  Ralph’s reasoning was that AMN is not up to speed with how a central midfielder has to play for us. What the fuck? Does this mean Diallo does know how to play it?  Surely AMN can’t be any worse than Diallo, who simply is an absolute nothing player, repeatedly. Is AMN going to be that much of a liability you can’t afford to even have him on the bench just in case the unthinkable happens and Diallo is shit?  I'd seriously rather we played Lyanco in midfield rather than Diallo.  AT least he'll defend and allow Prowsey to try and link the play.

Stuart Armstrong and Sam Edozie did more in their cameo appearances than the three twats who started and this was entirely predictable as well. Remember all that bravery bollocks we were fed at the start of the season. Well maybe Ralph could pick a team with at least a modicum of flair in it instead of leaving them all on the bench, then maybe we might take the initiative at the start of games instead of just hoping to get back into it in the last 20 minutes.  Perhaps we could also play with a bit of bravery and go through the lines, rather than booming it long all the time.  That’s not bravery – it’s risk-averse shit.

So, the team selection was shit and the substitutions were shit. It was certainly a day to make three, possibly four substitutions at half-time because it was the most predictable thing ever that the game petered out to 1-0 Villa win

With positives being in short supply I have to say that I was impressed with Juan Larios, who battled well at left back and showed a bit of quality running forwards. Sam Edozie manage to get on the ball once and ripped Ashley Young a new one, forcing the veteran to cart him over and take a yellow card. If Edozie had been on since the start then Young would probably have got sent off but Ralph wasn’t brave enough.

It also has to be said at the back four is shaping up pretty well with all of them putting in a pretty solid performance until Perraud was forced off.

The Threads May Be Brave but the Model Isn't

Ralph looked like damaged goods in this game. It looks like he has been damaged by the heavy defeats we have suffered in the past and his overcompensating with an over defensive set up. One of the more significant defeats was the one at Villa Park last season. As a result, it’s all gone a bit Gareth Southgate. Okay, he has ditched the back five but we are still over defensive. He needs to trust his back four and his midfield two, to do the majority of the defending and the four players at the top end of the pitch have to be picked for what they can offer at the top end of the pitch with the ball. Today, 10 out of the 11 players were picked because of what they can do defensively. Again, look at the number 10s. Djenepo has been playing fullback all season and that has got him a new contract, let alone a place in last night‘s team on the basis of his defensive discipline. Adam Armstrong has been selected, not because he is a goal threat or creative, but because he covers the left-hand side and will run all day and Elyounoussi has now played seven games in a row without offering a single thing going forward but he has covered the space well defensively.

Bearing in mind that we fucking lost and we were pathetic and didn’t have a shot on target or game, would it really have been worse to have Edozie, Stuart Armstrong and Aribo starting instead of Djenepo, Elyounoussi and Adam Armstrong?  Of course it fucking wouldn’t and we might have put Villa on the back foot and we might have got their fans on their back have we managed to score early. Ralph’s conservatism (the opposite of bravery) allowed Villa to grow into the game, lose their nervousness, realise that there was nothing to be scared of from this Saints line-up and scrape their way to a 1-0 win.

The manager needs to have a long hard look at himself after this defeat.  I thought there was an element of misfortune about the Wolves defeat but this was self-inflicted and piss poor from Ralph and the Brains Trust.  Two games running against poor team low on confidence and we've allowed them to play themselves into the game instead of going for it.  Just not good enough and a change of mind set is needed.

Premier League Match 6 - Wolves 1 Southampton 0

 

Speechless

A trip to the Midlands and Boring Diving Time-Wasting Wolves at Molineux with their spirit crushing style of play and spirit crushing manager Bruno Lage. Every time we play them, I look at their team and think it’s a good opportunity for three points but it never happens and in a wider context, I always think they are going to struggle but they always manage to win enough games 1-0 to keep their head above water and indeed push into the top half of the table. It’s one of those things I will never quite understand.

Over the last few years they have had a team that has been built on defence and built on the organisation of Conor Coady who is one of the best at organising a back three. Coady has now moved on to Everton, so now it’s down to the likes of Max Kilman.  Leander Dendoncker has moved on this transfer window as well, probably something to do with the fact is Belgian and not Portuguese. They have signed a couple of forwards in Guedes and Matheus Nunes who are unsurprisingly Portuguese and Sasha Kalajdzic, a 6 foot 7 striker who amazingly, is not Portuguese.

Every time we play Wolves I always mention their Super Agent approach to recruitment that they have where virtually every player is Portuguese and every player comes in through Jorge Mendes. Every so often they sign someone for a ridiculously over inflated price or they do the same when selling, and every time I think it’s very questionable. Let’s leave it there.

Since the last game we had the closing of the transfer window and deadline day, or as it should be known, “Dildo in the Ear day“. To cut a long story very short, DITE Day saw us recruit Juan Larios, Sam Edozie, Ainsley Maitland-Niles and Duje Caleta-Car. Going the other way permanently were Yan Valery and Oriol Romeu and out on loan for the season went Jack Stephens and Jan Bednarek. Some very exciting talent and some pragmatic signings coming in during this transfer window and we have got rid of a load of players who were very questionable when it came to what their contribution was going to be over the following season.

Iconic

The first outgoing was Oriol Romeu who was sold to Girona, in the heart of his Catalonia homeland. It looks like Saints bent over backwards to allow this move to happen for him as a reward for the seven-year service that he had given to the club and exemplary attitude he displayed throughout.  What a guy and it’s genuinely sad when a player like him leaves but if you look at it brutally from a playing perspective, he’s lost his place this year to an 18-year-old and though he would’ve undoubtedly have played 10 to 15 games this season, he wouldn’t have been first choice and that, combined with a desire to go back to Spain and particular to Catalonia, made this a good move for all parties. How Oriol never got sent off plan for us is one of life‘s mysteries but he has had some fantastic moments in a Saints shirt. The three incidents that spring to mind are the Jack Grealish incident from the game against Manchester City last season, when little Jackie apparently waited for him in the tunnel, the Raphinha tackle which he made at full pelt after a 50 yard recovery run and when everyone outside of Southampton thought he was public enemy number 1 for a particularly bad tackle on Mason Greenwood, which I think everybody would now be applauding. Ori left a particularly classy leaving message and there shouldn’t be a single Saints fan anywhere that begrudges him his move and I hope that we invite Girona over for a pre-season friendly next season so people can show appreciation for what the man did for the club. One of the good guys at a time when there are not many good guys in the game.

When Yan was The Man

Yan Valery was in the last year of his contract at Saints and unlikely to get another one. He wanted to play at right-back but Ralph clearly didn’t want him to play at right back and though he had a chance of minutes when we were playing a back three, now we are not and basically there was nowhere else for him to play. Again, this strikes me as a move that suits all parties and he too has returned home this time to Angers, near his home city of Paris. He too has had some good moments in the shirt, particularly the long-range missile that he caught David de Gea out with at Old Trafford.

I Be the Cornish Maldini and You can Fuck Roight Orff mate!

Out on a season long loan to Bournemouth went Jack Stephens. To be honest, the way Bournemouth have started, he will improve them if given a run of games. It makes me laugh when I read Bournemouth fans saying that they think Chris Mepham is better. He isn’t, because he’s shit. Jack is one of those guys that you wish no ill will to and I hope he goes there and does really well but it will ultimately be in a losing cause as looking at their squad at the end of the window, they have absolutely no fucking chance of staying up regardless of who they appoint as the next manager.

Bednarek Leaves Staplewood on Deadline Day

Also out on loan went Jan Bednarek. I couldn’t quite understand why we let him go on loan to Aston Villa to cover for the injured Douglas Costa for a season. Surely, we should’ve said buy him or fuck off. However, there have been a few rumours about his attitude and the fact he didn’t really want to be at the club this year and the fact that he refused to play against Manchester City in the FA Cup quarter-final last season did seem to be a bit of a turning point. Another turning point was that basically, when we abandoned playing with three at the back and took him out of the defence, the defence improved massively so the writing was on the wall and he was likely to spend most of the season with us on the bench. He has been going downhill for the last year or so and has become a very passive presence in the defence and had started this season in the same crap form he ended of the last one in. Never one to lead the defence, even when he was the most experienced player in it and I can’t imagine he’ll be missed.

After four years at the club though, there really was no need to make the absolute fucking knob headed statement that he did make saying he was delighted to be moving to a bigger club and it was important to him to go to a place where he could improve. Absolute prick. First off Jan, you are only on loan so they are going to see you play and if you play like you’ve played for us for the last year, they will be sending you back without a second thought. Then you will have to rebuild some bridges that you’ve just burnt down. I can understand people having a pop if you leave a club permanently but not when you’ve only gone out on loan. Fucking idiot.  I guess this shitty attitude was one of the main reasons why we booted him out the door though I do admit that Villa are probably a bigger club than our Carabao Cup XI where Jan would be getting a game.

Incoming…. Ainsley Maitland-Niles. I’m on record as saying that I thought this wouldn’t happen because he turned us down once before but we have decided to offer him a second opportunity and this time he has taken it. A full England international let us not forget, capable of playing in both full-back positions and in the centre of midfield, so in terms of positional profile, he is absolutely ideal, covering for both the departed Romeu and also for the injured Livramento. It’s a season long loan with an option to buy so it’s up to him really. He’s at an age now, 24, where he really has to make it happen.

A further raid on the Manchester City Academy brought to two more youngsters south in the shape of Sam Edozie and Juan Larios. Edozie is primarily left winger and Larios a left back. All we are hoping is that they are anywhere near as good as Romeo Lavia and if so, Larios will certainly give Perraud competition for the left back spot and Edozie has a real chance of staking a claim in our problem number 10 positions.

Right on 11 o’clock, having booted three centre backs out of the door, we had one coming in the shape of Duje Carleta-Car, a Croatian international who performed well at the Euros. He is another big unit standing 6 foot 4, with a decent turn of pace so on the face of it, he sounds like a similar profile player to ABK and Salisu to play in the centre of defence. There is a school of thought that having found a centre back partnership, why do we need another high-profile one like this. Well, the injury to Lavia shows you that you can’t over play these young players, so you need to have a good option for rotation should ABK or Salisu need a break at any point.

It has been a massively busy transfer window for us and one which we emerge from with a much stronger squad in terms of quality. A number of stagnant players have been shipped out and replaced with young, hungry players. Yes we could probably have done with the striker/winger that we needed and there is an obvious issue if Che Adams gets injured. We desperately needed a clear out and this has been amazing effort for one window and I can’t imagine many have any issue with any of the players who have left.. Nathan Redmond and Theo Walcott are still around and won’t contribute much, but everyone else is gone, either permanently or for the season. What we end up doing with the likes of Thierry Small, Dynel Simeu, Will Smallbone, Nathan Tella, Jack Stephens and Jan bloody Bednarek at the end of the season, is anyone’s guess.

Back to today and no real surprises in the team news with Aribo coming in for the injured Lavia and JWP dropping back next to Diallo.  Our bench includes three of our very new signings with Maitland-Niles, Edozie and Larios all included.  Caleta-Car’s international clearance has apparently not come through yet.  Wolves have indeed given a debut to the new giant striker Kalajdzic in place of Raul Jimenez.

The game starts in the usual way that it always does against Wolves with the first physical challenge of any nature whatsoever leaving a Wolves player rolling around in agony before getting back to his feet and being perfectly okay. Wankers to a man.

The first goalmouth action is all of our own making but in a bad way as Adam Armstrong sells Diallo a bit short and Diallo gives it away in midfield.  Wolves attack quickly on the right hand side with Perraud out of position having run forward and Nunes picks out Neto and we are waiting for the inevitable goal  but he drags it wide.

Aribo is making some good breaks forward from midfield and his cross from the left is deflected by a Wolves hand out as far as Adam Armstrong on the edge of the penalty area and he bends one wide of the far post. Not a bad effort and now Saints are looking better with Elyounoussi putting Adams away on the right hand side and it gets to the line and belts it across and Aribo’s flick is blocked by Neves.
 
Saints are having a good little spell now with Aribo and KWP combining down the right hand side which allows KWP to get the cross over, which is blocked by the knee and then arm of Nathan Collins but as we all know, we aren’t getting a penalty for that even though the ball coming off his arm from his own shit touch, stops the ball going through to Adams at the back post. We do get a corner though and we should go from there as JWP is delivery perfectly picks out ABK 15 yards out with a free header but he nods it wide.

Wolves do actually look better going forward than they usually do with Nunes and Neto causing problems. When they win a corner, the problem is the giant Kalajdzic, and he heads wide from one in the typical fashion of a player who is not used to having to jump.

At the other in Neves gives it away in midfield and we break with Elyounoussi with Adams ahead of him but in typical Moi fashion, he takes too long to release the ball, so Adams has to check back to stay on side and when he does eventually release it, all the angles have gone and the attack dies.

Half time approaching and a Saints attack breaks down as Elyounoussi tries to flick it through to Adams and Wolves break fast down our left. Perraud closes down the ball carrier Neto, but Diallo has not tracked his runner Nunes, who gets down the right-hand side delivers a low cross which meets the run of Podence at back post,... a run which has not been tracked by anybody, and he bobbles a finish over Bazunu and into the net. Lucky bastard. If he’d heard it properly then Baz would’ve saved it. Fucks sake.

Even with half time only a minute away, we create another chance as Adams muscles a defender off the ball and via Adam Armstrong and Aribo, the ball gets laid back to Ward-Prowse to have a shot from the edge of the box and with unerring accuracy, he picks out Che Adams arse with the shot.

Half-time.  Here we fucking go again and I expect we’ll get about 15 minutes of actual play in the second half as they roll around and shithouse it.

The first 10 minutes of the second half don’t amount to much so Ralph and the Brains Trust goes to the bench and we take off our two worst performing players in Diallo and Elyounoussi, for Moussa Djenepo and Stuart Armstrong. 

We immediately start putting pressure on with Stuart Armstrong to the fore, running at the defence and playing Aribo through on the right.  He smashes it across and Jose Sa makes a complete bollocks of it and palms it up in the air and it comes down about a yard out to Che Adams who can’t miss and he knocks it into the net in untidy fashion.  Doesn’t mater… get in!!!.   Oh shit, it does matter - disallowed.  What the fuck?  Oh fuck me, he’s missed it with his head and bundled in with his arm.  Dear Oh fucking Lord.

Unperturbed, Saints come again with Stuart Armstrong having a cross blocked and then volleying a second one over and Adams gets up brilliantly above Ait-Nouri and thumps a header on to the bar. Fuck me, this isn’t happening.

We’ve gone 4-2-2-2 now with Sam Edozie, Ainsley Maitland-Niles and Sekou Mara all on with Perraud, Adam Armstrong and Aribo making way.

Wolves are still dangerous on the break with Guedes sprinting into the box and being muscled out of it by ABK and collapsing like a sack of shit.  The referee doesn’t want anything to do with it but he does want something to do with Rúben Neves a second later, who hacks Edozie down after he went round another Wolves player and picks up the most deserved yellow card you’ll ever.  It’s the sort of challenge that I would absolutely have no problem with people getting sent off for because it’s totally premeditated and you are just wiping someone out. In a classic case of whatabouttery, Neves is pointing to the other end of the pitch and the ABK challenge – as if that’s relevant you fucking twat.

Edozie isn’t bothered and the next time he gets the ball, he nutmegs Neves and burns the full back and gets the ball in but we’ve got no one in the box, which considering we’re 1-0 down with a couple of minutes to go, is ridiculous.  Full time.

And it’s happened again, another fucking defeat against the play-acting, time-wasting Wolves team. Also today of course, they have the luck on their side with the finish by Podence being a complete fluke and us and Che Adams conspiring to miss two of the clearest, simplest chances you will ever see.

The bottom line is we deserved the point from that game and we created two gilt-edged chances to get a point. Hitting the bar from 5 yards with a header was bad enough but the one where he only had to nod it into an empty net and managed to handball it was on a different level altogether. It’s such a shame that for all Che’s improvement this year, sticking the ball in the net is still a bit of an issue.  It was good to hear Ralph backing him afterwards, mentioning his improvement and also that it was the first bad miss this season.  His importance to our attacking play this season has been massive and this doesn’t change because of one off bad day in front of goal.

ABK and Sali Show How To Handle The Massive Bloke

The positives today were another really good performance by the centre back pairing of ABK and Salisu. JWP had another good game in midfield and a couple of the substitutes in Stuart Armstrong and Sam Edozie really added something for the time that they were on the pitch.

We really should’ve scored in the first half as well but Elyounoussi butchered a couple of breaks simply by being too slow to do what he needed to do, like he always is. This is never going to change with him, and Ralph and the coaches need to accept this.  Diallo didn't take his opportunity to step up in Lavia's absence and I full expect Maitland-Niles to start next week.

I don’t blame Ralph for being totally pissed off with the fact that we lost today. I don’t think he personally did a lot wrong but the inexplicable misses in front of goal change the whole picture and change everyone’s view of the game. If those chances go in then no one is complaining about anything in the starting line-up and no one is complaining that we didn’t sign another striker in the transfer window. I’m afraid today is one of those that we just have to put down to one of those things however cliched and fucking annoying that sounds.

A hectic week which has been mainly positive ends on a sour note with our usual defeat against an incredibly irritating Wolves side. Onwards to the next game at home to Brentford, who have started this season pretty well and have just stuck five goals past Leeds. Bring it on and up the fucking Saints.

Premier League Match 5 - Southampton 2 Chelsea 1

 

Romeo, Romeo.... There You Are Romeo

And the Super League clubs just keep on coming with Chelsea being visitors to St Mary‘s today. Last year was the worst game of a season which had quite a few lows in it but none quite as low as the 6-0 defeat that Chelsea handed us at our own ground.  That was a game that was awful both from the players and the manager.

The main architect of that Chelsea win was probably Timo Werner who thankfully, has moved on and I say thankfully because he scored about 80% of his Chelsea goals against us. Chelsea of course had a few issues last year, what with the previous owner being mates with the guy who invaded another country and all that. There was a glorious moment when it looked as if Chelsea would actually face some sort of consequence for having dodgy money for the last 20 years but of course that didn’t come to pass and they’ve been taken over by consortium run by an American Todd Boely, who seems to be able to put as much money into it as the previous owner did. This of course will satisfy the Chelsea fans and their sense of entitlement because a majority will have forgotten the old Second Division days and the club being sold for a quid to Ken Bates. There aren’t many queueing up to say “I was there when we were shit“.

They did lose a few players in the summer who they probably would’ve lost anyway regardless of the ownership. Their best defender Antonio Rüdiger moved to Real Madrid and the underrated Andreas Christensen to Barcelona. I don’t know if they’ve registered him yet but regardless, he is not at Chelsea anymore. In have come Kalidou Koulibaly, a much desired centre half and it looks like they’re going to bring in Wesley Fofana from Leicester after they have finished putting the final nail in Brendan Rodgers coffin. The slightly scattergun, money spraying approach got a bit weird when they signed Cucurella from Brighton for a ridiculously inflated £60 million. The main signing at the top end of the pitch is of course Raheem Sterling who has joined from Manchester City. I’ve never been totally on board with Raheem Sterling but his goal record is as good as anyone’s in his position and he should be able to form a decent partnership with Kai Havertz upfront, even though Havertz is more of an attacking midfielder than a striker. There are a few players who seem to have fallen from the reckoning this season in Christian Pulisic and Hakim Ziyech but regardless of what team Chelsea put out, this is still going to be a massive test for us today - European Champions just over a year ago, remember. 

Oh yeah, they of course have Skate Bastard Mason Mount who’s in danger of being the next Dele Alli with his form going off a cliff in the last six months and he will see a game against Southampton, against who he always seems to play well, as the perfect situation to remind everybody what he is about.

It’s been all positive about Saints since the Manchester United game at the weekend. Despite virtually every media outlet questioning the McTominay juggling non-penalty, nothing of course will happen about it. I guess we might get an apology from PGLOL at some point but don’t hold your breath and what fucking use is that anyway?

As I write, we are just two days left to the transfer window closes, it has been silly season on the rumour mill again with Saints being linked to strikers that Super League clubs are interested in full fees of £50 to £60 million. Yawn. There has also been the resurrections of links from a couple of years ago with Ainsley Maitland-Niles on the ‘get rid’ list at Arsenal. Remember, he joined West Brom instead of us a couple of years ago declaring that he didn’t want to play fullback and he only wanted to play in central midfield. If he signed for us then he’d be third choice in central midfield at best and a cover fullback, so I can’t see that happening either (UPDATE – I might have been wrong here – ha ha)

Getting to the game today has been an absolute fucking nightmare. Fans coming out of the Ageas Bowl and an accident on one of the motorway junctions have made Hedge End a huge car park, so having dropped off my passengers by the gas holders in Northam, I eventually made it to my usual parking spot in Ocean Village and then had to run like fuck, consequently, I was blowing a bit like Luke Shaw after recovery run by the time I got to the ground. I’ve heard the team news on the radio whilst sitting in the traffic we had Perraud, and Diallo starting instead of Djenepo and Aribo. One interesting thing was that Oriol Romeu was not on the bench which further fuelled the rumours that he is about to leave, with a potential three-year deal to Girona, in his home region of Catalonia, where he is from.

Away we go and Chelsea the better side.  We are struggling to get a foot on the ball and keeping it is proving difficult also with both Diallo and JWP looking slightly lost.  Adams is seeing how much Thiago Silva fancies it but Chelsea create an early chance with Jorginho finding Mount and onto Sterling and he has a free shot from the edge of the box on his left foot and he scuffs it through to Baz.

We don’t wake up and Chelsea remain the better side.   Loftus Cheek runs forward with he ball and and plays Sterling through and this time he fails thanks to another one of those ridiculously good tackles by ABK and a resulting scramble sees Bazunu fall on the ball.

Whilst we’re all feeling good about ourselves about how great our defending is, it all goes to shit as Havertz sends Mount weaving into the box.  His initial cross to Sterling is blocked by the sliding Perraud and Bazunu, but Sterling is up quickest to turns and find an open goal in front of him which he can’t miss.  Bollocks.

Saints are pretty direct today and here's why - ABK bangs one forward and Adams flicks on to Adam Armstrong who tries to give it back to Che but Azpilicueta puts it out for a corner. JWP plays it in and Azpilicueta flicks it clear to the edge of the box to where Romeo Lavia  takes a touch before bending it round the onrushing Mount and past Mendy before he can react.  What a great hit that was.

As we approach half time we are coming more into the game and previously quiet players are waking up.  Diallo dribbles past Jorginho’s half-arsed challenge and via JWP, the ball reaches Perraud on the left.  As he about to cross it, all the Chelsea forwards retreat towards their own goal but Perraud cuts it back to Adam Armstrong who has stayed out, and he smashes into the net left-footed with a heavy deflection of Koulibaly. Just before half-time, fucking beautiful.  Chelsea end – silent.

And it's All Gone Quiet Over There

As the ref blows for half-time, Che is fighting for the ball with Jorginho in the centre circle and manages to boot the ball in his face.  Jorginho, clearly mortally wounded by being hit by the ball realises everyone is laughing at him and then leads four Chelsea players in berating the referee. Arseholes – just get off the pitch.

At half time I am basking in the glory of an unexpected lead.  We may not win but the last 20 minutes of the half have been great.  Chelsea will undoubtedly be better in the second half but this time last year we were 4-0 down.

Right, can we get away from this habit of conceding at the start of the second half?  Chelsea have brought on Kovacic for Loftus-Cheek and ten minutes in and it’s Chelsea who seem rattled. Koulibaly gives the ball away to Adam Armstrong and though he recovers, Perraud wins it back again and stands up a beautiful cross to the back post and Elyounoussi must score…. Fuck, No – he heads it at Cucurella in front of the keeper and when the rebound loops to him, tries an overhead volley thing which Mendy saves comfortably.
 
Oh shite, Lavia has done his hamstring on a recovery run and has to come off, with Joe Aribo taking his place with JWP dropping into a more familiar position.  Tommy Tuchel rolls the dice as well five minutes later with Broja, Chilwell and Pulisic coming on for Azpilicueta, Jorginho and Havertz, who have all be pretty poor.  Broja gets a decent reception as our fans in the main have a bit of class about them, unlike the Abramovich-apologists up the other end.

We nearly score again soon after as Adams batters Cucurella and wins a corner, which has the ridiculously-wigged defender raging at the linesman.  In it comes from JWP, flicked on, bundled goalward by Salisu and flicked off the line by Thiago Silva.  15 to go and on comes Djenepo for the cramping Perraud and there’s only a slight alarm when Sterling gets in on the left and his cross goes straight to Bazunu.

Chelsea create a half chance as a deep cross is met by Broja at the back post but luckily, his heading hasn;t improved and Baz saves it comfortably enough.  Five to go and it’s Lyanco time as he replaces Adam Armstrong.  He actually goes to left back and Moussa is pushed forward, which makes sense until Lyanco brainlessly bundles through Pulisic on the wing.  We get away with it and then it’s just a case of dealing with obligatory last minute corner with the Chelsea goalkeeper up and the biggest cheer of the day is for the Lyanco clearance that takes the remaining 30 seconds to come down out of the clouds…. And we fucking won.

Every win is a great win but any win against one of the Super League clubs, with the entitled fan base who are a massive bunch of wankers, is slightly better. What can I say lads, the better side won.  So did the side that was more committed, had the better shape about them and had the better individual performers.  It’s another win having gone behind as well, which continues this remarkable turnaround that sees us finishing games strongly. We weren’t just hanging on either because there was only one team that had chances in the second half. The only chance Chelsea had come from a player who was with us last year.

Bazunu in all truth didn’t have a great deal to do, protected as he was by the man mountains of ABK and Salisu. Both full-backs were absolutely superb from a defensive point of view and it was nice to see the returning Perraud set up one goal and provide what should have been another when that Elyounoussi should’ve scored. 

Romeo Lavia is going to be a huge player and we should enjoy him while we can but it looks like we are unfortunately going to be without him for a few weeks after his hamstring injury. After the game against Manchester United, I thought that the only weakness that this kid has is that he can’t shoot but he certainly put that one to bed today. Next to him, Ibrahima Diallo came in from the cold, started the game poorly but grew into it and in the second half he was looking much more confident, having had a major hand in the second goal. He’s got to look at this as an opportunity to play a few games now so hopefully he can step up. JWP seem to struggle a little bit in an unfamiliar number 10 role but again, kept us moving and continued his decent start of the season.

So, Some People Think I Can't Shoot

Adam Armstrong is no longer looking awkward out of that left-hand side. There is still lots of things that he does that are far too predictable but if he can offer a goal threat from that side, then he will stay in the team because his work ethic today was absolutely fantastic, as was the work ethic of the much maligned (by me) Mohamed Elyounoussi, who put in an unbelievable shift, especially in the second half. He has limitations going forward and it’s frustrating how many times he just takes too long to do something before getting dispossessed but defensively, he held his ground superbly on the right-hand side.

The guy who is quickly becoming the main man however is Che Adams. From physically moving Thiago Silva out the way in the first minute, to controlling long balls on his chest when surrounded by defenders in the 95th, he was superb today. No goal but immeasurable value added to the team.  It’s brilliant how he’s changed his game to be more aggressive and more of a worry to defenders.  He is using his size and strength and bringing that unmistakable “non-league” mentality where he is showing no respect for defenders, in the same way that Rickie Lambert did and Jamie Vardy does for Leicester.  Playing like that we have the option of mixing it up a bit more, rather than having to play through teams, which is an option we've not truly had since a certain beautiful 6 foot 4 Italian man left.

As for Chelschester United and their scattergun approach to recruitment. That’s the worst Chelsea side I’ve seen down here for years.   Raheem Sterling scored a goal which owed more than a little bit to luck but missed a couple of sitters and was largely anonymous in the second half.  Havertz, nothing, Ziyech, nothing apart from a lot of rolling around, Pulisic, embarrassing. Thiago Silva and Koulibaly got absolutely battered around by our attack Rottweiler, Che Adams. We certainly caught them on a good day with Kanté being injured and Kovacic only fit for half the game but in their absence, Jorginho and Loftus-Cheek didn’t show up and nor did Mason Skate Bastard. It was amusing to see him losing his shit towards the end of the game and it obviously hasn’t taken Cucurella long to be affected by the entitled virus, as every little tiny thing that didn’t go his way was greeted with a hand waving and throwing the toys out.  On that showing he’s certainly no upgrade on Marcos Alonso.

The entitled fans were something else as well. Made a lot of noise until their goal and then settled back, probably assuming that they were going to win it easily and then barely raised a noise throughout the second half when the team wasn’t doing particularly well and actually needed them.  The entitlement born out of 20 years of dodgy money is large. I must however praise the brass-neck of the Chelsea fan in a traffic jam by Crosshouse on the way out of the ground, when he was blasting “blue is the colour” out of his car. Arrogant bell-end. You just lost to Southampton.

At least Thomas Tuchel didn’t try and pretend that Chelsea with a better side of his post match interview, which is what he did after the 3-0 defeat against Leeds. He focused purely on their feelings which is fair enough. As for the other dug out, it’s fantastic to see the coaches all working together and showing a real sense of unity. It seems to be rubbing off on the players on the pitch. I am still waiting for the retraction from the Daily Mail about the players not playing for the manager. If there was a rat in the camp then it wasn’t anyone who was anything to do with that performance last night.

It’s been a truly monumental effort from the boys over the last four days with two games against Super League clubs.  The team survived the two games better than the pitch, which looked a bit shit.  We were just an Andy Madley away from having four points out of six. So, from an opening five games that I initially thought we would struggle to get more than a couple of points from, we have got seven and now we move onto games where there are points to be had if we can put in the same level of performance, starting with Wolves away on Saturday. They have struggled at the start of the season as well and if we can overcome the one downside of today, the injury to Romeo Lavia, and we should be targeting at least a point on Saturday. Up the fucking Saints.