Ralph Rages as The Team He Picked Is Predictably Shit
The second last home
game of the season is against Crystal Palace who have had a decent first season
under Patrick Viera. It might not seem like it on the face of it because they are
in the just below halfway position that they are always in but they’ve been
considerably better this season for a few reasons.
One is that they actually play football now and they have
moved away from the more prosaic talents of the likes of Milivojević and
McArthur and have replaced them with more quality like Conor Gallagher,
Eberechi Eze, Michael Olise and Jean-Phillippe Mateta. They also still of
course have Wilfried Zaha so it’s a much more attacking mindset that they have
with better players in the front half of the pitch for the Palace fans it must
feel a world away from Roy Hodgson football. They also reached an FA Cup
semi-final this season, which every mid table team would take at the start of
the year but it has to be said that they didn’t really turn up in the
semi-final against Chelsea. Another marker of improvement is the fact that they
have not been anywhere near the bottom three all season, so they can certainly
look forward to building and improving next season.
They lost a lot of players at the end of last season out of
contract but they have replaced them well, especially in defence where Marc
Guehi and Joakim Andersen have formed a good partnership. They also have
Nathaniel Clyne at right back, a player quite often missed off the list of
ex-Saints in the Premier League but he was a very good player for us and his
replacement was Cedric fucking Soares. It has to be remembered that Clyne wasn’t a
dick when he left either.
After a decent second-half performance against Brighton last
time out, Ralph will surely be expecting more of the same but he’s picked the
team that started the Brighton game, apart from the obvious exception of Tino
Livramento, who is replaced with Romain Perraud.
That means that Shane Long is again mystifyingly prefer to a
striker who might actually score a goal and Nathan Redmond is given another
opportunity which his performance and Brighton didn’t really merit. Vieira has
left Zaha on the bench but in Mateta, Ayew and Eze, they still have plenty to
keep us busy at the back.
Away we go and Saints win an early free-kick as a
ball over the top looks comfortable enough for Guehi but he reckons without Shane
being a pain in the arse and closing him down and he eventually falls on the
ball and give us a free kick, I assume for handball. JWP whips it in and it’s headed away for a
corner at the near post. In comes the corner from JWP and up goes Oriol Romeu
who puts the memory of his to shit headers against Burnley behind him, and the
ball flies in the right direction off his bald head and Guaita can only push it
into the roof of the net. 9 minutes,
1-0, Get in.
The next five minutes are all Palace as they show that they are not going to
fold following the setback and some worrying issues are emerging in that their
midfield three of McArthur, Gallagher and Schlupp are dominating. JWP and Romeu are struggling to get a
foothold and Tell and Redmond are not helping.
Redmond
falls over Guehi on the halfway line as if he is going to get free kick for
basically running into someone and Palace build down the left with Schlupp putting
a cross in and Conor Gallagher arrives with a free header in the middle of the
penalty area and puts it wide. Alarm
bells should be ringing at this point but there seems to be no real inquest
along the lines of “who the fuck was supposed to be marking him?”. We got away with it purely because it was a piss
poor header as I’m sure Gallagher will agree.
Eze causes problems by driving past us on the left hand side
and a powderpuff challenge by Bednarek means Matata gets free and smashes it at
the near post but Fraser sticks out a big size 15 to give them a corner. In
comes the corner, headed out by Salisu and Adams to Gallagher on the edge of
the box but he again is wildly off target smashing it hide to the Chapel stand.
Saints have a chance of a break as McArthur gives the ball
away to Tella on the edge of the box and whilst he initially sprints away, all
the momentum goes out of the move thanks to a lack of desire to support from
others and Palace get back and eventually Tella tries a 30 yard backpass.
It’s a short respite anyway from waves of Palace attacks and
in comes another corner, another obligatory free header, this time from Ayew,
which Forster has to be alert to claw out and the ball comes down to McArthur
on the edge of the box he tries a long range header which Fraser catches.
Half-time and 1-0 up, which on the face of it that’s good but
we’ve been pretty dreadful and it’s only thanks for lack of cutting edge from
Palace that we are still in front. Again, like most recent games, there has
been no fluidity in our attacking play and we are just standing off and
allowing the opposition to pass the ball round us. Not good at all.
The half time team talk was obviously “more of the same lads”
as the second half starts with the same predictable procession towards our goal
as we fall asleep from a throw on our left and Clyne smashes a low cross in,
which Fraser claws out and it looks for all the world that someone’s just gonna
smash it into the net but a combination of Bednarek and JWP manage to block it. More alarm bells but is anyone listening?
Our attempts to build play are laughable and then the joke
has a punchline as Che Adams, who is having an absolute shocker, gives the ball
away in midfield which sets Palace away again with Clyne firing over a cross
and Eze drills it first time through Forster and into the net. What a surprise.
At this point Ralph decides to make a substitution with Long
predictably going off to be replaced by Broja. Che Adams has been taken off and
been replaced by Stuart Armstrong which basically means that one of Tella or
Redmond is going to play up front and Ralph makes the in unbelievable decision
to put Redmond up there. I predict now
that he will be shit. Palace meanwhile
have taken off the donkey Mateta and put Zaha on.
Palace are still the better side of course with Vieira making another change,
replacing midfielder Schlupp with winger Olise.
Meanwhile, we’re doing like-for-likes with Tella off and Elyounoussi on,
which is not going to change anything but we do create a chance as Palace fall
asleep at a throw and Stuart Armstrong hammers it well over the bar. Stu has
another chance not long after as he picks up the ball well in midfield and
exchanges password with Broja before trying over ambitious shot from 25 yards
which screws well wide. AT least
he has tried to play some football, get the ball down and pass it.
Another bugbear, we know that Shane Long is not gonna last 90 minutes so we have to make a like for like substitution. Ralph waited until Palace equalised before he made the first change. Hindsight perhaps but taking Long off when we were at 1-0 in front and replacing him with a footballer, might have actually stopped Palace committing so many men forward in search of the equaliser because they might have actually thought that there was a goal threat in our team. Che Adams came off because, in all fairness, he was having a complete shocker but then Ralph pushed Redmond up front for the last 20 minutes and I think he touched the ball once. Again, completely predictable. Definition of madness stuff. Trying the same thing and expecting a different result. Like the game against Burnley, we should not be playing at home to Crystal Palace and just hoping to nick something on very little possession but that’s what we did and we got the defeat that we deserved for our negative tactics and mindset. What of the other players? Nathan Tella did next to nothing, Che Adams was several levels below what he showed at Brighton last week and Oriol Romeu played like he was running through quicksand for the entire game. He did at least get a header on target though to give us the false dawn of being in front. Of the back four, KWP went missing for the first goal though he was picking up an unmarked player in the middle, Bednarek tried to outmuscle Mateta in the first half and that was embarrassing and his piss-weak defening agasints Zaha cost us a point. Only Perraud and Salisu can really hold their hand up as having a decent-ish game. Playing like this we won’t get another point for the rest of the season with Brentford away, Liverpool at home and Leicester away being our last three. Results elsewhere today and wins for Brighton and Aston Villa probably means that we will be looking at finishing 15th or 16th unless we somehow turn it around and actually pull a result out of the bag somewhere. Next up is a trip to Brentford which is probably our best possibility of getting a point between now and the end of the season. After that it’s the final game at St Mary‘s which is against Liverpool. There was talk a while ago about us doing what Crystal Palace did to them and denying them the title. Absolutely no fucking chance of Manchester City getting any help from us.
Love your sense of humour and you report the games exactly as they happen Ralph should read them and may pick up a few tips
ReplyDeleteMo E, Adam A and Lyanco's collectively confused reaction, when Mo was called back to go on as the 3rd sub, spoke volumes to me...
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