EFL Championship Match 25 - Southampton 2 Plymouth Argyle 1

Play to the Whistle (In Spanish)

Festive game number three and Plymouth Argyle at home which on paper, should be another three points if we approach it properly. Argyle have been kicking around lower mid table for most of the season so far but with the lowest budget in the division, the only aim this year is to stay up and it was all going pretty well.  That was until a week or so ago when Stephen Schumacher, their highly rated manager who got them promoted from League 1 last season, decided to leave a club where he was revered, in a lovely part of the world and move to Stoke City.  Stoke is of course a place where the fans will turn on you in an instant and which seems like a bit of a poison chalice job and Stoke itself is of course, not as nice a place as Plymouth, or in other words, a shithole.

The reaction of the Argyle faithful has been fairly philosophical but having been in that position when managers leave to not necessarily make a massive step up, I would be fucking livid, especially given the assurances a week before that he was not looking to leave. However, if you take off your partisan goggles for a second - the three-and-a-half year contract he signed has probably secured his and his families future, even if he goes the same way as Nathan Jones did when he went to Stoke and gets sacked after six months.

Since Schumacher left, Argyle have responded with a 3-3 draw at home to Birmingham and a 2-2 draw away at Cardiff but regardless of their current form, they are a team we should certainly be beating at home, residing as they do on 28 points, the exact same number as Swansea.  Neil Dewsnip, the current Director of Football is in charge today.

The only news to come out of Saints since the last game is that Joe Aribo is likely to be going to the African Cup of Nations with Nigeria. If you had asked me three months ago whether I’d be remotely bothered about his potential absence, I first would’ve questioned how the fuck he got in the Nigeria squad and been delighted for him getting some game time as he wasn’t getting it here. As it is though, he has started the last five games and has contributed well so we are actually going to miss him when he goes. Russell Martin has in my book, said the right things in that the club wouldn’t even try and stop him going, such is his pride at playing for Nigeria. Fair enough.  He also, in a roundabout way, hinted that Joe had now taken on board how hard he has to work to be effective at this level.  The Nigeria extended squad also contains Tall Paul Onuachu and Nathan Tella, who will probably defect to another country just when he is about to become useful. (UPDATE: Joe made the cut for the tournament, whilst the other two did not)

There’s a couple of rotation changes today with Stuart Armstrong and Aribo on the bench and starting places for Charly Alcaraz and Will Smallbone.  Shea Charles is also in the side with Flynn Downes nowhere – ill again.  This game is of course kicking off at 6pm on a Friday, which is an absolutely bullshit time for a football match to take place with Sky taking precedence and the match-going fan coming a very distant last on the list of priorities.

The big screen in the ground shows a video of clips from our unbeaten run and then fades to black and the word ‘NEXT’ comes up on the screen, followed by the Plymouth badge.  I don’t like stuff like that.  It never sits well with me when the social media team are allowed free reign.  For me, an important characteristic of a Southampton person is to be humble and it's never good to give motivation to the opposition.

Anyway, right from the first whistle you can see what kind of game it’s going to be with Plymouth basically sat in a 5-3-2 formation, which is more or less 5-5-0 out of possession and not being interested in pressing in our half. It’s understandable from their point of view but it’s going to make it hard work.  However understanding I try and be however, when their goalkeeper Conor Hazard starts wasting time after three minutes, it really pisses me off, especially when the referee knows it and gestures to him to get on with it. Just fucking book him and then see what he does.  There are 30,000 people in here wanting to see a game of football, not to see the keeper fuck about over a goal kick.

Five minutes gone and it looks momentarily like we’ve found another way to make Hazard get on with it by taking the lead as Ryan Manning crosses a ball in from the left, behind the defence and Che Adams takes a superb touch with his right foot and then smashes it pass Hazard with his left, which is the one he never seemingly wants to use. Great finish but the fucking flag’s up. Bollocks.

Having been denied this time, we try again and it’s time it’s ridiculous effort as Adam Armstrong picks the ball up in the centre circle and from just inside the Plymouth half he smashes it left footed and its sails over the top of the goalkeeper who is not getting there and lands on the roof of the net just behind the crossbar.

Two minutes later and following an Edozie ran down the left, a bouncing ball breaks to Alcaraz about 25 yards out and he just smashes it on the turn through the massed ranks of Plymouth defenders in about a foot wide of the post with Hazard struggling.

Another chance comes and goes from a Manning corner and it’s met at the near post by THB, who flicks it goalwards and watches it bounce off the far post while everyone else plays statues and Plymouth get away with it again. How we haven’t scored yet is ridiculous.   Another attack down the right ends with KWP running at defenders and then Shea Charles putting in a lovely ball between the goalkeeper and 6 yard line but more statues.

This honestly could be four or five already – but it’s zero and when another attack ends with a foul on Adam Armstrong on the edge of the box and it’s not given, it’s sucker-punch time as Argyle get into our half for the first time, building up down their left and switching it Morgan Whitaker on the right with just Edozie for company but it does he does brilliantly to block and the danger passes.  That’s a major difference from the start of the season when Edozie would have been ten yards away from the player as he scored.

Sammy's Tackling Technique Might Not be Textbook But It's Effective

Half time and somehow it’s 0-0.  Patience required as you have to believe that it will come, as long as we keep going.

Sure enough, it’s the same pattern at the start of the second half with Alcaraz picking up the ball on the left and running at the Plymouth defence past three defenders before his shot is deflected and saved by Hazard and Adam Armstrong is unfortunately only 5 foot seven and can’t head in the rebound.

Out of nowhere Plymouth smash a long ball which is brilliantly taken down by Whitaker who manages to work the space and put in a brute of a cross with his left foot and there is Bali Mumba at the back post to head into the net - for fuck‘s sake.  Clearly the linesman agrees because the flag goes straight up to stop all the celebrations dead.

Trust Me Lads, You Still Don't Want VAR in the EFL

Saints get on with it and straight up the other end with Alcaraz swapping passes with Edozie, which takes a defender away, allowing Alcaraz to take it on to his right foot and curl an absolutely stunning effort over the keeper and into the far side of the net. One end to the other, fucking have it and perhaps there is a God after all. The Argyle players are all around the referee but what is he going to do? Once your goal has been disallowed you get back in position you don’t just stand there moaning about it.

Now a goal behind, there is no discernible change to Argyle’s tactics, other than the fact the keeper isn’t wasting time any more.  It’s still nine men behind the ball at all times with Saints knocking around about forty yards from the goal.  Bednarek flights a lovely ball over the top to meet the dome of Smallbone running forward and he tries to just place a header past Hazard which he manages but sadly, just the wrong side of the post.

The chip pass has obviously been identified as an opportunity so we try the same again with THB and his effort finds Che Adams he gets goalside of the defender and the goalkeeper absolutely shits himself and just stands there in does absolutely fuck all allowing Adams to knock the ball into the net with the outside of his right foot from about five yards. 2-0 and it really should be game over.

Brave Goalkeeping at It's Finest

Substitution time with Adams, Smallbone and Alcaraz or coming off for Fraser, Stuart Armstrong and Aribo.  Aribo continues his impressive form straight away by holding off a player and knocking a ball through to Adam Armstrong who takes his time before smashing it with the keeper making a decent save, to be fair… to the time wasting bastard.

Adam Armstrong and Sam Edozie depart the scene to be replaced by Jack Stephens and Sekou Mara and it all goes to shit for ten minutes as we get a little bit sloppy until Jack Stephens bounces are very average pass back to Baz, who takes a heavy touch to put himself in trouble and as Hardie closes in, Baz tries to get out of the shit with a body feint and nothing happens and Hardie just knocks it into the net. For fuck‘s sake.

With six minutes left, Saints have the arse about the ridiculousness of the current scoreline and have now fully woken up and go on the attack - KWP putting Ryan Fraser clean through and the Wee Man has to score but hits the goalkeepers foot.

96 minutes and Argyle are having a go now for a ridiculous smash and grab and put us under a little bit of pressure and Shea Charles treads on the ball and it ultimately ends with Whitaker having a shot from 25 yards which sails harmlessly over the bar.  The End.

Well that was considerably more nervy than it should’ve been. To be honest, we should’ve won this game as comfortably as we did against Swansea and Blackburn in our previous two home games. 2-1 is a ridiculously flattering scoreline for Plymouth but at the same time, they will come away with a sense of injustice because of the perfectly good goal that they had disallowed – and it was.  It’s never offside and of course it would’ve put them in the lead and goals change games. However, I feel that if it had been allowed to stand then they would’ve been none of the complacency in our play for the last half an hour to allow them to eventually make it 2-1 and look like a close game.

I'm not having complaining that that three of their players were ahead of the ball and celebrating the goal when we went straight up the other end and scored.  Their goal was disallowed straight away, so I don’t have much sympathy for them to be honest because whether it’s a wrongly disallowed goal or a genuinely offside goal, if it gets disallowed you’ve got to be ready for the game to restart.  The good thing about that from a Saints point of view is that we attacked quickly and directly and scored as a result.

The trouble for us was that at times, it was just too easy. In the opening fifteen minutes it looked like we were going to obliterate them and it was just a matter of time before something ended up in their net but we got a bit passive at the end of the first half and went in level. The second half was all us and then came the disallowed goal on one of Argyle’s rare forays into our half. It was a wonderful goal from Alcaraz to put us ahead and Che Adams bundled in the what turned out to be the winner.

Plymouth manager Dewsnip had obviously been influenced by our recent home results and admitted that he basically sent out his team not to get battered.  Fair enough – it’s all about staying up for them and with the manager having jumped ship, I totally get it.  I understand why the goalkeeper Hazard was time-wasting like a motherfucker from the third minute onwards but the officials do my head in.  It’s ironic that Argyle fans will be going on about the officials when in the first half in particular, all they did was help them by allowing them to waste time and then barely adding any. Two minutes was a ridiculously light amount of extra time for the first half. 

Hazard certainly got on with it after we went ahead though he perhaps showed one of the major limitations of his goalkeeping on the second goal when he totally bottled making any sort of challenge as Che Adams round.  You have to dive into the spokes in that particular scenario and show a bit of bravery.

Our goalkeeper of course didn’t cover himself in glory tonight, as Baz had a buffering moment when he made the shocking decision of trying to body swerve the onrushing Hardie. That decision comes from complacency at the game being too easy, in exactly the same way with Charly Alcaraz made that ridiculous decision to chip the penalty against Blackburn when it was all too easy. Complacency is our enemy, especially when we are dominating games.  Seventeen games unbeaten can make you think you’re unbeatable I guess.  We all know that’s not the case.

With the side being rotated slightly for tonight, it was a chance for Will Smallbone and Charlie Alcaraz to step up and in the main they both did, particularly Alcaraz who is an absolute natural to play the role that Stuart Armstrong plays. There is a place up for grabs in midfield of course with Joe Aribo off to the AFCON, so impressing in whatever minutes you get between now and then, is clearly going to stand you in good stead. Shea Charles also in a very good game in place of Flynn Downes.

I wasn't sure that all the subs were needed at 2-0 but in my eyes, anything Russell Martin may or may not have done wrong in the second half of that game was totally excused by the fact that he made it abundantly publicly clear he had no interest in meeting Rishi Sunak after the game, who graced the ground with his no doubt, non-paying presence.  I'm surprised he made it for the 6pm kick off time on a work day.  Would have thought he’d have been busy?

We now have seven wins in a row at home and it’s now seventeen games unbeaten. The gap to Ipswich closed again by another two points tonight with them drawing at home to QPR and Leeds defeat at West Brom means we have suddenly opened up a six point gap on them. In just three days we visit Ipswich’s nearest and dearest neighbours, Norwich City and though this is going to be a tough game, another win is most definitely needed.

Happy New Up the fucking Saints Year!

EFL Championship Match 3 - Plymouth Argyle 1 Southampton 2

 

Che - He Has Missed From Closer Before

Two teams in the top six of the infant championship league table take on each other at Home Park, Plymouth today with Saints making the long trip down to the west country. For travelling Saints fans, the Championship this year is a bit of a nightmare because most of the teams are based in the north and it’s a fair hike to travel anywhere like that from Southampton. The temptation is to think of Plymouth as one of the closer games because it’s on the south coast but it’s a fucking long way, virtually the same as travelling to Stoke or Nottingham. The Championship is of course,  much more about match-going fans than the Premier League is, but when Sky get involved, you get a 12.30 kick-off time on a Saturday morning, which is not great for the travelling away fan, assuming that they live in Southampton which most of them in our case, do.  Does anyone who matters give a shit? Of course they don’t.

Argyle got promoted as Champions of League One and have made a very good fist of the opening two games, winning at home to Huddersfield and then getting a very credible draw away at Watford. The home record over the past couple of years has been ridiculous with just three defeats in the last 70 odd games. We will hopefully be a major test of that record this afternoon.

In their opening day win against Huddersfield, notable features of the game were the Argyle attacking players - Ryan Hardie in the middle, Morgan Whittaker, who came in from the right hand side and the Bali Mumba on the left, who scored a brilliant goal.  The other two scored as well so we’re certainly going to have to be on our toes defensively and certainly better than we were against Norwich.   Apparently, Argyle don’t have a reputation for being particularly good at set pieces, which of course is balanced out by the fact that we are absolutely shit at defending them.

With JWP now officially gone, our midfield reinforcements have not yet arrived with Flynn Downes having had his medical put back a couple of days due to illness.  Other midfield news concerns Will Smallbone, who it appears is going to be out for a month or so with the ankle injury picked up against Norwich.

The Photoshop Boys Have Had a Mare

The Romeo Lavia transfer saga seems to be resolved now with him deciding to join Chelsea, which on the one hand is really funny because it makes Liverpool have fucked it royally by pissing about and very obviously letting Romeo know that he was their second choice. It's remarkable that he got that impression considering they were prepared to bid more than double to sign a different player. He and Moises Caceido can have a chat about that at training at Cobham next week. Putting aside the amusement at Liverpool missing out on both players for a second, I find it somewhat surprising that Romeo has decided to join Chelsea, where he at best will be part of the rotation of the squad. The reason he joined us from Manchester City was because he wanted to play and he’s going to do that considerably less at Chelsea than he would’ve done at Liverpool. Good luck to him though. A good player who is potentially a fantastic player and who always showed the right attitude when many around him did not. It would’ve been nice to have kept him for a few more years but as with JWP, the club in general getting things so wrong means that it was inevitable that he would leave. At the end of the day, if you look at it clinically, we have signed a player for not very much, we have given him the platform, he has done well and we have sold him on for a huge amount of money. In terms of finance and that particular aspect of the clubs model, it’s a perfect story - basically tripling your money in 12 months.

It also. looks like we may be getting some more money through the door as rumours linking Kamaldeen Sulemana with a move away have gathered pace. Unsurprisingly perhaps, it’s to Monaco, the same team that his fellow Ghanaian Mohammed Salisu has ended up at. In another spooky coincidence, Kamaldeen has an injury which is clearly bullshit as well.  The fact is that the player never wanted to join Saints in the first place and only did so for the money. He showed what he could do in that glorified friendly against Liverpool on the last day of last season but that was more or less it. To be honest, I didn’t even consider him to be a potential squad member for the season. If for whatever reason a move doesn’t happen then there would be the opportunity for him to get his head down and he would undoubtedly be an asset but I don’t think anyone should really hold their breath on that one as it’s another example of a player who joined, who doesn’t really give a shit.

Kamaldeen Injury Update

Back to Home Park in the team news comes through and Charly Alcaraz is nowhere to be found meaning that Adam Armstrong is dropping deeper into midfield and Che Adams starts up front. Sam Edozie has recovered from last week and keeps place in the team. Saints are of course captained by former Plymouth Argyle youth player Jack Stephens.  The expected dangerous Argyle front three of Whittaker, Hardie and Mumba are all in place for what should be very entertaining game.

Adam Armstrong‘s first involvement was to pick the ball up in his new midfield position and turn and head towards goal before he was unceremoniously carted up in the air by a horribly shit challenge by Argyle centre back Scarr.  Agricultural doesn’t do it justice.  The free-kick is in prime JWP territory just to the left of centre but of course, he’s not fucking here so Stuart Armstrong had a go and it’s a decent effort, beating the wall but straight down the goalkeepers throat

We have half a shout for a penalty as Adam Armstrong’s cross is laid-back but by Tella for KWP bursting into the box and there’s some contact but there’s not enough of a challenge there to give that.

Our best chance goes begging as Edozie breaks down the left and squares it across the top of the penalty area to Che Adams who passes on the chance for shot and tries to pass it one more on to Tella but he doesn’t get his feet right and ends up scuffing the ball to the goalkeeper. Bad miss to be honest.

After a keystone cops moment when one Argyle player tries a shot and drills it up the arse of another one, the ball goes out of the left where left back Kessler, picks it up and he lets fly from the edge of the box and narrowly over.  That’s the closest Argyle have come all half but we haven’t been much better.

To be honest, that was a shit half of football. Saints were probably the better side but Argyle had their moments and had a few situations which could’ve been better for them but they lacked the quality on the final ball. Hopefully that continues but we need to do better.

Something has obviously been said at half-time but we are playing with a lot more intensity straight away. The first chance falls when the ball is played out to Edozie on the left flank and he lines of the full-back before going past him on his right foot and he attempts the curler for the far post which goes about a foot wide. Great effort.

Forward we come again with Adam Armstrong carrying the ball to the left of the penalty area before attempting to square it across to Manning but it’s too far in front of him but no worries, as Tella appears between two dithering defenders and smashes it first time left footed past Hazard in the Argyle goal to make it 1-0.  Get in and no, this one didn’t deflect in off of the back of Arma’s head.

And Turf Moor Goes Wild

Having done the hard work and got in front, virtually straight from the kick-off the ball goes out to the dangerous Whittaker on the right-hand side and he’s made more dangerous by the fact that Ryan Manning slips on his arse. Whittaker gets to the edge of the penalty area before squaring it and Hardie has lost KWP and Bednarek and meets is 6 yards out and can’t miss. For fuck‘s sake.

It looks for a second like it’s all going to go wrong as a through ball gets played through towards Hardie on the right and he gets to it before Baz before crashing to the deck.  Something didn’t look quite right with that and sure enough, the referee David Webb hands out a yellow card to the striker. When you see the replay, it’s fucking horrendous as he knocks the ball past the keeper and then drags a leg into him whilst already being about 3 inches off the ground in the full dive position. Absolute wanker.

The mentality under Russell Martin is for the team to keep trying to play decent football, regardless of what’s happened and we now get back on it and some decent play on the left ends with Manning crossing the ball along the top of the penalty area to where Stuart Armstrong takes one touch to immaculately kill the ball, before an almost lazy swing of his right leg sends it goalwards and pinging off the bar and over. Fuck.  Another chance goes from a glorious break out of defence as Edozie brings it away before finding Adam Armstrong who accelerates to the left before squaring the ball along the 6 yard line but Edozie was not quite committed enough to bust a gut to get in there at the chance passes by.

With Joe Aribo and Sam Amo on for Stuart Armstrong and Edozie, we win a free kick right on the edge of the 'D' when a Plymouth defender overdoes it, loses the ball to Tella and promptly trashes him.  With Stuart Armstrong having left the pitch, it comes down to Adam Armstrong to smash the ball through a rather pathetic wall and for the keeper has pulls out a fucking worldie, getting one hand to it and managing to get the ball up and over the bar. Fucking hell.  Hazard the keeper then falls on the resulting corner which caused a bit of a scramble. Maybe it’s going to be one of those days.

All Argyle seem to have by way of threat is Whittaker on the right hand side and he takes advantage of some questionable one on one defending by Manning to cut in onto his favoured left foot before trying to beat Baz at his near post and seeing the ball ping off the outside of the post and away.

Deep into the nine minutes of additional time and Sam Amo is causing problems down the right flank and wins a corner.  In it comes from Ryan Manning, headed up in the air and everyone stands and watches as Adam Armstrong fully commits to the header and it’s going in but Hazard gets a big hand to it but can only push it onto the chest of Che Adams who simply lets the ball drop before knocking it into the net. Plymouth appeal for offside and were off to Stockley Park…. Oh no we’re fucking not because we’re in a proper game now, the lino hasn’t got his flag up so it’s a goal and we can all go mental.

Even after our celebrations and the players dodge the missiles thrown from the home end, it should be nearly done but the referee decides to keep it going, seemingly just for the hell of it.  Baz punches away one ball that comes into the penalty area and after half-arsed clearance by Aribo, Whittaker turns it back in and it looks like they’re through again for an equaliser but Adam Armstrong turns up to poke it behind for a corner. Baz punches that away but Plymouth are still allowed to play on and Baz has to punch it away yet again. It’s a throw on the left-hand side but the ref is still playing ‘next goal wins’ and into the box again but this time, it’s too long and Webb eventually blows the whistle as the ball goes out of play.

Well,we made heavy weather of it but we got the win that we deserved over the one hundred minutes that were played. Che Adams once again proved that he is the Big Dog in this league and we really need to do everything that we can to keep him.  If not then he needs to be replaced with a similarly sized dog.  The post-match narrative was all about the piss-take offer that we had heard from Everton and I found myself thinking that if i was a striker with one year left on my deal, why the fuck would I go to Everton, who play shit football under a dinosaur manager and are probably more likely to be playing in the Championship next year than Saints are? If I was Che, I think I would be seeing out my contract and hoping that I have a better selection of clubs to pick from in the summer.  If he stays and rattles in 30 goals this season, I don’t see how he won’t have better options than Everton for the sake of waiting a few months.

When Saints lined up for the opening game of the season at Sheffield Wednesday, we had what looked like a Premier League level line-up. In between Sheffield Wednesday and Norwich, we had lost JWP and in between Norwich and Plymouth, for different reasons we had lost Smallbone and Alcaraz. It is a major positive in that we have managed to pick up two wins and a draw for our first three games.  It is beyond any reasonable doubt however that we do need to strengthen. We were forced to play our top goalscorer in midfield today which is not something that you want. One injury or suspension at centre back and we have Lyanco in the team and with the way cards are being handed out in this league, that’s a real possibility.  New skipper Jack Stephens, not exactly known for being a hard man, has been booked three times in three games so far.

Today we got the job done despite a pretty nondescript first half and I love the fact that in his post-match interview, Russell Martin picked up on the fact that we had very little intensity either with or without the ball in the first half.  I actually thought it was more noticeable with the ball, where we didn’t seem to have much idea how to create a chance with our centre forward barely touching the ball in the first half an hour. Tweaks to the attacking play will come but we certainly need to get the ball fed into the striker more often. We came flying out in the second half and deservedly took the lead from a lovely finish by Burnley’s Nathan Tella, which was quite out of keeping with the rest of his performance which was largely frustrating.

How many times you heard it’s said that a team is never more vulnerable when when it’s just scored and so it proved, with us taking about a minute and a half to concede from what was I think Argyle’s only effort on target. It all came from Ryan Manning slipping over on the halfway line but once he had done that, the marking in the penalty area was non-existent. We had a couple of half scares when Whitaker cut in and hit the post but to be honest, that was never going to go in and we had the horrific dive by Hardie, for which he was rightly booked. I love it how strikers protest when they have been caught red-handed. He might have scored but he was too interested in trying to drag his feet into the goalkeeper. Wanker.

As we wrapped up the pressure in the last 15 minutes, we nearly scored from Adam Armstrong‘s free kick and would’ve done but for a ridiculous save by Hazard in the argyle goal. Fair enough, that’s what he’s there for. Was an absolutely brilliant save but he couldn't stop the winning goal, which was another beautiful example as to why football is better without VAR as the Big Dog knocked it in. I honestly don’t think it was offside anyway but had we had VAR, we would have had to endure a good five minutes of extra bullshit before any decision was reached.

I Could Get Used to This

It was an interesting day on that score because the referee David Webb was consistent in his inconsistency. We had a shout for a penalty at the end of the first half, and absolutely fucking ridiculous incident where Shea Charles went up for a header, had his shirt pulled, which forced Shay’s arms upwards, the ball hit his arm and the referee booked him. That may well have been a penalty with VAR but it’s no justification to say that you want VAR because at the end of the day this is just an incident of where you want the referee to be better. David Webb also didn’t seem to know that the ball doesn’t have to be out of play before he blows the final whistle when after twelve minutes of the nine in injury time, he allowed Argyle to keep throwing crosses into our box.

Our best player by quite a long way was Shea Charles who dominated the midfield area, apparently with 109 touches of the ball and only giving the ball away five times. Carry on like that and he is going to be some player. He is not as dynamic around the park as Romeo Lavia but he is a bigger physical presence and playing that position it’s all about doing the right things consistently.  Adam Armstrong also had a great game into a slightly deeper position with his work ethic making up for any shortcomings he may have as a midfielder.

Plymouth Argyle were decent and if they sort out their squad depth then they will be comfortably mid-table or higher this season. They are clearly playing for the manager but it definitely seemed like Stephen Schumacher made a few too many substitutions in the second half because some of the players who came on, didn’t really seem to get near the pace of the game. There is no disgrace in that however because believe it or not, our players will be some of the best that these guys have ever played against. Of the three attacking players who were expected to be the biggest dangers, really only Morgan Whittaker stood out. Ryan Hardie scored but had his ridiculous dive and Bali Mumba had a bit of a shocker to be honest, comprehensively losing his battle against KWP who, in mitigation, will probably be the best full-back he’s ever played against.

So, seven points out of nine and at the time the game finished, we were top of the league. Next up is a home game against QPR which is certainly one that should see our home form up and running. Hopefully we will have some more reinforcements by then and Che Adams will have realised that he is onto a good thing here this season.

League 1 Match 45 - Plymouth 1 Southampton 3

Thank you Boys!!!

Here we go again, down to the home of the Green Army, who have had the season from hell and are six points from safety with two games left having being docked 10 for going into administration.  Sounds familiar doesn’t it.  Not a great prospect considering that they have to play us and we need 3 points to seal promotion. This as the game I’d been looking forward to for about 5 weeks as it was impossible for bloody Huddersfield to win today as it was our one remaining game in hand.  If you remember, this is the game postponed from when Plymouth had 3 international call ups to New Zealand, Zimbabwe and some other country ranked about 400.  Never mind, we got there in the end.

In effect, we have to win either today or on Saturday against Walsall at SMS.  Walsall are like Plymouth in that they are fighting for survival and they are also like them in that they have funny accents.  If I could choose, I would of course choose to win today because it gets it out of the way and I hate those nerve shredding do-or-die games where you just know that your team is going to make a bollocks of it.

There were a few issues regarding the team to be sorted out today.  The last time we played twice in three days, Nigel made 6 changes but this time it’s just the 3 with Butters and Dicko replacing Richardson and the injured Harding at full backs and with the Gulyman not being fit, Stephens came in.  I hoped and I prayed that there was no diamond formation but Dave Merrington said that Chappers was playing on the right and he knows everything.  Surprises a-plenty on the bench with the return of Morgan Schneiderlin who had been out for two months and even more remarkably – Lee Holmes was on the bench and evidently, whilst injured he’s found an activity he can do without injury and that’s growing his hair.  Careful though Lee, those Alice bands are heavy.

99 Red Balloons and a few white ones are not so much floating in the summer sky but parked in the penalty area in front of Kelvin Davis.  The game was delayed while he went on a one man mission to burst them all before the defenders eventually got bored and joined in.  Not one balloon could withstand the Jaidi stomp.

Plymouth are in the last chance saloon as I said and start the game pretty well.  Bolasie takes a tumble in the box under challenge from Dicko and the referee tells him to get up and get on with it.  It’s a scare though and Saints need to settle down and start playing which they attempt to do.  Plymouth and their manager with a monkey’s head have identified Adam Lallana as the danger man and their players take turns to go and kick him.

Saints are beginning to turn the screw and win corner after corner but only sporadically threaten a goal with Stephens shooting wide from one chance and Butterfield getting into nosebleed territory on another occasion before firing over.  To be fair it’s a closely contested half with Saints just on top and Argyle not looking like they are capable to testing Davis in his balloon free goal.

A massive amount of pressure was lifted in the 44^th minute when Butters came down the right wing and switched it onto his swinger.  The left footed cross was straight onto Sir Rickie’s head, thump, over the keeper, 1-0 and his 20^th goal of the season and the Saints fans are going absolutely mental.  Unsurprisingly, there are a few who completely blow their cover by going mental in the Plymouth end – get home safely boys.

As a fan, I’m feeling the pressure at the start of the second half and I’m strolling around on the beach at Netley with Dave Merrington in my ear and I’m throwing stones at the oil refinery without much success.  Plymouth win a free kick right on the edge of our box which earns big Radhi a booking before it gets smashed into the wall.  It takes all of a minute for the nerves to go but not before some serious oohs and ahhs as Jaidi rises and thumps a header from Lallana’s corner against the post.  The ball gets cleared back out to Lallana and eventually finds its way to Connolly in the box who tries to twist into position to shoot but a defender gets a foot in and succeeds only in poking it to Dickson who fires in off the post.  Sods law says the ex-Plymouth man would score the goal that probably takes them down.

Seaborne comes on for Chaplow before the game kicks off again and goes to left back with Dicko going into midfield.  Plymouth are deflated now and don’t really look like getting back into it at all so it’s no surprise when it’s definitely all over on the hour when Connolly plays Sir Rickie through and he’s tripped as the ball reaches him – penalty.  You know he’s going to miss a penalty one day but today is not the day, bang, 3-0, party time.

Martin comes on for Jaidi and Schneiderlin makes a welcome re-appearance in place of Lallana as the game winds down.  David Connolly is carrying round a bag of icing and he tries to put it on top of the cake in the 85^th minute by trying an outrageous left footed shot from 35 yards which beats the keeper and crashes back off the bar.  His personal mission to get a goal nearly bears fruit a minute later but his low shot fizzes across the goal and wide.

Everything that happens is academic now but it still rankles with the Saints defence when Plymouth’s liveliest player, Yannick Bolasie, plays a nice 1-2 on the edge of our box and finishes well to make it 3-1.  Kelvin has a bit of a jump-up-and-down mini tantrum like you see 6 year olds have in supermarkets but I’m sure it was all forgotten a minute later. Final whistle, all over, WE ARE GOING UP!!!!

Nigel makes me laugh at the end – one minute he’s bouncing round the pitch in pure celebratory ‘we are going up’ mode and then he’s being interviewed, saying that it’s not over and we still have work to do.  I would imagine the next few days at training will be a bit of a laugh but we do have a job to do in that we have to put up a performance against Walsall to ensure that no fingers are pointed if they beat us 3-0 and stay up because of it.  I’m hoping the Walsall boys turn out in force and drink as heavily as they did last year.  Good night that was.  So we need to beat them and Walsall to stay up anyway.

I would also like to thank Radio Solent at this point for not having Mr Pedantic commentating on the game where he would have no doubt spent all game criticizing anyone who suggested that Saints were going up and insisting that he was right, me, me, me, it’s all about me.  There is no ‘I’ in team, there is one in ‘Pedantic’, there are three in ‘irritating’ and there are none in ‘Closet Skate’. 

A word at this point for Huddersfield Town who are I think, 24 games unbeaten and in 3^rd place, with a points tally that would have won the league in other years.  I really hope they win the playoffs as it would be just and right.  The local connection means that I should be hoping Bournemouth win it but then I think of Eddie Mitchell.  Huddersfield are easily one of the best 3 teams in this league so I hope they are one of the 3 promoted teams.  To me, the league should be a test of who the three best teams are and not reduced to a lottery to define the 46 games that went before it.  Knockout games should be for knockout competitions. Having said that, I’m sure we’ll be aiming for the playoffs next season and this year, my crystal ball sees a Huddersfield v Peterborough final and Fergie Zero going all red faced, crying about the referee, generally being a sore losing twat, losing all his good players in the summer, being lower mid-table next season and getting sacked around Christmas prompting Fergie Snr to take back all the loan players he’s sent to Peterborough which results in them plummeting down the league and getting relegated back to League 2.

The result today and what it means is a total vindication of Nicola Cortese and what he has put in place at Southampton FC, especially the decision at the start of the season to replace Alan Pardew with Nigel Adkins.  It must be remembered that a vast majority of our squad are Pardew signings but the Don didn’t think he was the man to take us forward and he stuck his neck out and today proved that he was right.  I hear he was on the pitch at the end which I reckon he would have enjoyed even more than Wembley last year.  It’s just a tragedy that Markus Liebherr, his friend with the little camera, couldn’t be there as well.

On that subject, an appeal has been launched to raise money for a massive tribute flag for Markus.  Mike, the guy behind this, is a personal friend of mine (and a really bad cricketer... I mean really bad, can’t even carry drinks properly) and there is no way anyone can underestimate or fail to understand what Markus has done for this club.  So if you enjoyed the trip to Wembley last season, enjoyed the promotion today or maybe even if you enjoy reading this shite every week then visit.....

www.onemarkusliebherr.co.uk

.... as none of this would have happened without him.

As mentioned, next week we have Walsall at home.... our missing 10,000 will be back and there will be people moaning because they didn’t see it coming and haven’t got tickets.  Party time and I’m looking forward to hearing what the Chuckle Brothers have got to moan about.

I repeat, WE ARE GOING UP !!!

1 game to go, 0 points needed.

Thank you, Sir !

League 1 Match 1 - Southampton 0 Plymouth 1

Fair old poke

New season starts and we (dad and I) have a New Season Resolution that we are going to get the game earlier by the simple method of leaving quarter of an hour earlier. We made a balls of this and so arrived at 12.14 and 30-ish seconds. A quick check around to see if anyone new was near us in the Kingsland. I was hoping for a large breasted bikini model of some description but instead it was a new old codger, replacing last seasons one who was probably pushing up daisies.

To the teams and Saints were as expected with neither Lambert or Lallana in the team though Adam did make the bench. With Connolly and Dickson taking their places, you kind of felt ok but I was slightly worried that our two main goalscorers (57) from last year were both missing. Sir Rickie missing also meant someone new on the free kicks as well so I was under the impression that this would be tough. Plymouth are now managed by Peter Reid who is a decent manager despite having a monkey’s head. Lee Molyneux is in the Plymouth line up and we know how bad he is… bring it on.

Saints tore into Plymouth from the off, pinning them back in their half for the first 10 minutes with fast paced passing football which was pleasing on the eye and effective to boot. Dickson fizzed over a couple of crosses which Barnard and then Hammond could have done better with before Puncheon delivered from the right but just behind everybody. The Plymouth keeper was looking all flappy and for a while it just looked like matter of time. At the centre of it all was Morgan Schneiderlin who looked like he was on a different planet to everyone on the pitch – a Premiership player in League 1. His control and vision was superb and he soon went close himself with a raking shot that just went wide. Barnard and Connolly were working hard up front with Connolly pulling defenders out of position with his intelligent running and Barnard chasing everything down and getting stuck in. The back four of Butterfield, Harding, Jaidi and Fonte looked composed and solid and things were looking good.

Half an hour had gone by and neither keeper had been worked at all, despite all our good play and it kind of went all flat for a bit as Plymouth resorted to some comedy time wasting to try and take the sting out of the game and it worked a treat. It was still one way traffic though and Jaidi headed wide after Fonte found himself on the left wing, took on the full back and fired over a great cross. He’s some player that boy.

At half time I was pondering the season ahead. We’re expected to go up and if we do then fine, if we don’t however then Lambert, Lallana, Fonte and Schneiderlin would all be off and who could blame them. A little pessimistic to be having thoughts like that at half time on the first day perhaps. My mates the Chuckle Brothers were still there behind me, talking shit, trying to be funny and failing miserably. The guy two along from me has taken it upon himself to calmly explain the rules to them whenever they say something incredibly stupid during the game, in the same way that a dad explains to his 4 year old. I wonder how long it’s going to last… I give it til about half time at the Bournemouth game on Tuesday, by which time it will be “Just shut up and read the fucking rule book, you twat”

The second half starts and a catch a bit of “Bradley Wright-Phillips, he robs from the Skates” coming down from the Northam. A quick check reveals that he’s not even a sub for them today. I wonder if Peter Reid was at Man City when Bradley was there and knows just how shit he really is. To the game and Jaidi treads on the ball and Plymouth nick it back. It pings over to the left side and then back without a Saints player getting near it, except Harding who ball watches as it rolls past him for Summerfield to poke into the net. Shit. They’ve been in our half once and scored. Green Army!!! Bollocks.

Goals change games and for 10 minutes it’s all Plymouth and we’re rubbish. Schneiderlin, having faded in the last 20 of the first half, is now invisible, Barnard and Connolly are not holding the ball up, Puncheon is continually giving it away and Hammond is playing at a slower pace than every other player on the pitch. It’s dreadful and I’m already thinking I’ll be pleased with a draw. We are not helping ourselves either, with Kelvin Davis booting the ball aimlessly out of play and Radhi Jaidi playing ‘passes’ up to Barnard and Connolly that are coming down with snow on them.

Cometh the hour mark, cometh the man and Lallana was introduced in place of Harding who had played the first fifteen minutes of the second half like he’d never kicked a ball in his life. Dickson went to left back and Adam took up his usual left-wing-but-not-really slot. The difference was immediately noticeable and some intricate passing on the edge of the Plymouth box involving Lallana and Puncheon, eventually got too complicated when Punch decided to pass to and offside Barnard when he was only eight yards out himself and should have had a dig.

Saints were on the up again and Puncheon fired over before we finally got a shot on target as Lallana cut in and smashed in a shot from 25 yards which the keeper clawed away – decent save. Worryingly, Adam limped away from the incident, clearly feeling his knee which has been the reason he hasn’t trained. Argyle parked the bus after this, introducing another defender and you were hoping that Pards would used his remaining two substitutions and try and have a go as it clearly was not working and therein lies the problem. The attacking options on the bench were Oxlade-Chamberlain and Lee Holmes wheras last year it would have been Papa Waigo, Antonio and one of Connolly or Barnard. However, Oxlade-Chamberlain was not thrown on with 10 to go to use his pace and make a difference…. Oh no…. we got Lee Fucking Holmes on the 90th minute. What was the point of that ? All we got from Holmes was a synopsis of his entire Saints career when he swung a complete air shot at the ball and came away limping. We had the one chance you always get when Lallana cut in from the left and pulled it back for the onrushing Barnard who was tackled superbly as he shot, deflecting the ball to safety. One-Nil, Green Army!!! Bugger.

Positives are that we played ok for the first half and Ryan Dickson and Danny Butterfield look excellent acquisitions. Some of the delivery into the box was excellent and with Sir Rickie fit, I reckon we’d have bagged a couple before half time. I have to mention Jose Fonte as well who was quite simply different class. Plymouth were a tidy side without being inspirational but we should not have lost to them and did so purely because we handed them the goal which they held onto. Simple really.

On the debit side, we have a glaring lack of pace now without Waigo and Antonio and we looked clueless in the second half. The central midfield does not look right to me and I’ll repeat what I said at the tail end of last season that Schneiderlin has to play as the attacking one and Hammond as the defensive one. Hammond is too ponderous with the ball at feet though he reads the game well and gets stuck in to headers and tackles etc. Morgan uses the deeper position to just disappear which after a brilliant first twenty minutes, he completely did today leaving me feeling a bit sorry for Hammond and the other midfielders. We all know Morgan is creative and can pass it so get him further forward and I reckon he’d get you 10 goals a season. He needs to do more and he’s capable of so much more. The service from the wings today was ok to start with and then tailed off with Puncheon just not looking fit to me. Molyneux was keeping up with him for pace which really should not happen. We needed to feed the smaller lads up front with balls into the channels and this just didn’t happen enough though Lallana made a huge difference when he came on. Finally, what the fuck was that last substitution about ? I guess Pards was watching Capello in the summer – three goals down, bring on Heskey, need a goal, bring on impact sub Lee Holmes in the 90th minute. I tell you, throwing Wotton or Seaborne or even Bart on up front would have had more impact.

Oh yeah… and the cringeworthy playing of ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ on the tannoy as I had my post game piss was really not required. Next up, Bournemouth at home in the League Cup on Tuesday, bring me a decent atmosphere and a decent win.