Premier League Match 38 - Southampton 1 Arsenal 2

 

Ross Stewart - More then Just a Concept.

And finally, we come to the final act of this sorry bag of shite that is masquerading as the Southampton season of 2024/25. I don’t think there will be anyone, not Simon Rusk, not any of the players, and certainly not any of the fans, who will be sorry that this season is finally ending. Out with the old and in with a new but first we have to do negotiate today’s final game against Arsenal at St Mary’s. Whilst it would be amazing to sign off with a win, the one when we’ve had all season at home, suggests that it’s very unlikely and this is before you get into the fact that Arsenal are in fact, quite good.

So, second place for Arsenal and there is the unavoidable feeling that they should’ve done better this season. Liverpool have not been amazing, but Arsenal have not been anywhere near them in terms of challenging for top spot in the Premier League. The highlight of their season was an excellent win over two legs against a very fractured Real Madrid side, but all that did was got them to a Champions League semi-final where they were relatively comfortably beaten by PSG. Mikel Arteta has a habit of talking absolute shite and never more when they have lost a game. He tried to gaslight everyone that they were the better side against PSG.  The truth was that it was quite something seeing Arsenal resembling a Wimbledon side from the late 80s, relying on free kicks and long throws to pose any threat. That’s the way it’s been for Arsenal this season with a remarkable record of scoring goals from corners, which in the main were converted by Gabriel, who is out for the rest of the season.  It shouldn’t be the case when you’re a top side, that losing a central defender takes away about 50% of your goal threat.

Against teams like us though, they have more than enough goal threat with the likes of Saka, Marino, Martinelli and Trossard… and that’s before you even get to the midfield of Odegaard and Rice.  Still, the funniest thing that’s happened at the end of Arsenal’s season is Spurs winning a European trophy. Seeing the mental gymnastics from Arsenal fans trying to convince themselves that they have had a better season than Spurs is quite amusing. The bottom line is that even though we’re in this era in football, where finishing fourth as seen as being better than a trophy, it really fucking isn’t and no one will remember Arsenal‘s 24/25 season whereas every Spurs fan will remember their win in the Europa league, for the rest of their lives.  Anyway, I wish we had their problems.

But enough of the North London shenanigans. We have going to get through and it seems that some of our players fancy an early holiday. We strongly suspect that Jan Bednarek will be joining KWP straight out of the exit door and neither of them are going to play today. Simon Rusk has mumbled some word salad bollocks about very slight injuries, but we all know the truth. THB did pick up an injury last week but he won’t be around either, so we might actually have to deviate from the five at the back template, simply because we haven’t got enough central defenders with Jack Stephens and Nathan Wood the only two available, if you don’t count ABK and as a rule, we don’t because he’s an arsehole. Knowing Simon Rusk however, he will probably play Jimmy Bree as the third central defender.

Today will be a sad day in many respects because we’ll probably be seeing the last game for some of or maybe all of Aaron Ramsdale, Mateus Fernandes and Tyler Dibling.  On the opposite side of the coin, it might be the last time we ever have to watch some of the shit players…. Take your pick.

Will Still - Hopefully won't be listening to the penis on his shoulder.

Having been busy all morning, I’ve not been paying attention to the news and it’s not until I get to the ground that I become aware that we have appointed Will Still as our new manager for next year and that he will be in the ground today. I wonder what he will make of some of the players who are going to be here next year but it’s good news that he’s in the building early.  Maybe he can have a word with one or two and try and convince them to stay.

I feel that Simon Rusk needs to get Saints to put on something approaching and an entertaining performance today. For once, it’s probably more important than the result. We expect to lose of course as we are one of the teams playing today.  Also, it’s Arsenal and we are on course to set a Premier League record of thirty defeats in a season.  When the Rusk team news drops for the last time, it’s a bit fucking mental. There are starts for Charlie Taylor, Nathan Wood, Jay Robinson, Yuki Sugawara and Ross Stewart. What the actual fuck? There seems to be a lot of tactical injuries with Tyler Dibling and Jack Stephens joining those we expected to be missing. It turns out that Captain Jack has broken his wrist in training, probably punching a picture of Cucurella that someone pinned to his locker.  Jack aside, isn’t it strange that some of those missing have hardly missed a game in their entire Saints career and here they are with a move on the horizon and they have the all encompassing “illness”. I don’t know why the club can’t just tell the truth because I’d respect that more than some bullshit explanation and treating me like I’m a fucking idiot.

So, it looks like a back four with three of the four being somewhat amusing selections. None of the missing players are even fit enough to sit on the bench, so we have a youth team player called Moore on there, and I have to look up what his first name is because I’ve never heard of him. Jayden Moore. Welcome.  Arsenal are resting a few as well but the difference is, the likes of Saka, Havertz and Odegaard are on the bench. Even if by some miracle the game is close as we go into the final 20 minutes, I would expect Arteta to bring on the big boys whilst we are bringing on players from the crèche.

For once, the first incident of the day is a Saints attack, with a corner swinging in by Fernandes and headed out as far as Sugawara who absolutely drills it and it hits Declan Rice on the hand and surely to fuck that’s a penalty.  Even our collection of soft arses get animated and surround the referee.  Off we go to VAR for what could be the last time for a while….

Hi there Stockley Park... is that Scotty?
Yes... What do you want Darren… there are 10 games going on today and yours doesn’t matter
I know but they surrounded me
Who did?
Southampton!
What – they never complain about anything, just meekly accept it cos they’re shit
I know, but this really looked like a handball
So what, they’re going down
I know Scotty, but we’ve fucked them over all season and I thought it would be nice.
We fucked them over cos we all had money on them being more shit than Derby, Darren
Oh yeah, I lost a few quid, thought it was a cert
Ok I’ll bloody check… ok I’ve got a decision for you
And...?
Does it strike his hand … yes, away from his body… yes… proximity… not a factor
So a penalty then?
Nah…. Not enough consequence.
Why not?
Because Southampton are shit.
Fair enough… play on.

What a surprise, no penalty. What’s the fucking point?  Bring on next season.

Despite being makeshift, Arsenal are still extremely dangerous and work the ball out to the left wing to Martinelli.  He drops the shoulder to get a yard against Sugawara before standing up across to the back post, which Merino jumps to meet and it can only flick it off the bar. Rambo had it covered, however.

Saints are giving a give a good account of themselves, however, and Wellington is making stuff happen at the attacking end of the pitch as he bursts past Love Island’s Ben White before pulling the ball back into the middle. It comes to nothing until Fernandes wins it back and crosses it back in and Stewart barges past fellow jock Tierney, but can only head wide.

Our back four has not done anything really dumb as yet but then one long ball from Tierney and our central defenders suddenly ten yards behind Martinelli, who has sprung the trap and he’s got the ball.   He just has former team mate Ramsdale to beat but only one winner as  Martinelli takes it early and Rambo saves well.

More Arse pressure as we approach half-time and they win a corner on our right which comes in and we fail to clear properly and then don’t get close enough to Arsenal as they build an attack down our left with White overlapping Martinelli and getting into the box untracked before firing over a low cross which sees Tierney winning the Jock-War, getting in front of Ross Stewart and knocking it into the net. Fuck.

Arsenal sense a second goal before halftime but Saints clear the danger through Taylor and Sulemana bundles past a challenge and has sixty yards to run into.  Usually he stops and turns back but this time he keeps going before inevitably stopping but at least he tried a shot, which gets blocked up in the air and comes down for him to shin roller it into the side netting. That guy is destined to have no end product for the rest of his life at Saints, but at least this time he actually had a shot.

Half time and we haven’t been bad and don’t really deserve to be behind given the penalty farce and the general play.  J-Rob has been decent so far if a little lightweight and the back four were pretty solid once Taylor stopped trying to play left back and settled down a bit.  No changes at half-time and we start the second half relatively well with Robinson being chopped down on the edge of the Arsenal box. Fernandes has been excellent this season, but he is no JWP when it comes to free kicks and it hits the wall.  From the resulting scramble J-Rob picks up the ball and jinks his way past a couple of players before hammering in a shot which Raya has to push away for a corner. Decent from the youngster.  Fernandes may not be JWP with free kicks but he’s getting there with corners and in it comes and up goes the Loch Ness Drogba to flick in a header past Raya and into the net. Fucking hell we’ve scored and Ross Stewart is more than just a myth or a vague concept, he’s actually a goal scorer at Premier League level.

With half an hour to go, it’s all gonna be about Arsenal‘s positive changes from the bench and Saints inevitable worsening of the team. Before that though, Nwaneri plays a delightful ball inside Welington for White to run onto and his low cross is going in off of the combined touch of Rice and Taylor, before Sugawara appears from nowhere.  True to form he just panics and leathers it but it’s away from goal and into Declan Rice and off for an Arsenal corrner, of course, because the referee is a prick.

Rice is getting more involved now and trying to make things happen and he bundles his way into the box and eventually ends up volleying at Ramsdale from about eight yards but Rambo is equal to it again and it’s another blinding save, which unfortunately pops up for Saka to head into the net but the flag has gone up straight away but that still means we have to go off to VAR.

Hi there Scotty at Stocky Park
What do you want again – I thought I told you last time?
It's an Arsenal goal though
OK, best have a look… flag is up though
I know, I thought we could send Saints off with another shocker, just for the lols.
OK, Rice shoots, Saka is miles offside, Ramsdale saves, still offside.
So, can’t overturn that one?
Not really, Saka is smiling as well and apologising – what a nice man
Lovely man.
By the way, you should see the decision we’ve just given Man United….

It’s time for Simon to weaken the team with Robinson and Sulemana going off to be replaced by Archer and Smallbone. It’s not as bad as I fear because Smallbone has gone to where Fernandes was and Matty has gone out wide.  Five minutes later though and there’s another change and this is Rusk doing what he always does and bringing on another defender.  Why the fuck… we’ve been defending well as a four.  Kayi Sanda is on for the limping Big Les.  What this all means is the Smallbone is now in a midfield two with Downes and that as we all know, it’s always a fucking nightmare.  I’m telling anyone who will listen around me that he should’ve brought Aribo on as a straight swap for Les (lesser of two evils), but no, Simple Simon refuses to do things simply and Simon says to bring on another defender and put Will in midfield.

90 minutes up and Saints are on the attack and pushing Arsenal back and the referee and the linesman between them decide to give Arsenal a free kick for absolutely fucking nothing.  They take it quickly whilst we’re arguing and Odegaard, who has been on for fifteen minutes or so, swaps passes with fellow sub Trossard before being faced up by Smallbone, and the Arsenal captain literally walks around the most powderpuff challenge you’ve ever seen and has a free shot from 18 yards which he buries in the bottom corner. For fucks sake. Well done Keep it Simple Simon.

Smallbone, Tired after ten minutes of action, lets Odegaard Walk Round Him.

There are nine minutes of injury time to go and even though we launch some optimistic balls towards Tall Paul, there’s not really any danger for Arsenal and they see the game out like you would expect them to.

And so a predictable defeat in Simon Rusk’s last game and no one should be surprised that we let in a late goal to lose it after a decent and spirited performance.  There are three reasons why the winning goal happened. The first one was the stupid substitution by Rusk, to change the formation that was working and go to a three at the back. This dragged Smallbone back into midfield and we all know what happens when he’s there – he’s a liability in our half.  Everyone knows but we do it anyway.

The second thing was that Flynn Downs got caught up the pitch getting carried away as we attacked. Bearing in mind his partner is now Smallbone, he has to have the brain to stay put, though it’s not his fault the referee and linesman decided to magic up an Arsenal free kick out of nowhere, which was the third reason  Will’s recreation of the Diallo training cone impression against Arsenal, was absolutely pitiful.

When the team was announced, I was dreading us getting beat by five or six but a combination of Arsenal being in beach mode and surprisingly resolute defending meant we were still in the game after an odd opening 10 minutes when it all looked like it was going to be a bit sketchy.  Nathan Wood and Charlie Taylor looked decent in a four because they had to take responsibility and an even bigger surprise was that Yuki Sugawara didn’t look like a train wreck and justified this selection ahead of James Bree.  He was helped when Raheem Sterling was on his side as he has absolutely forgotten how to play football.  Welington on the left, dug in strongly when he had to and he also tried to play going forward and is looking like someone who could well be a mainstay in the team next season.

The watching Will Still would’ve been encouraged by some of the things he saw, not least the performance of Ross Stewart. It was brilliant for him to get a goal and to look a handful. He gets knocked off the ball a little bit too easily but there is certainly a striker there but still can work with next season. The full debut for Jay Robinson will not have been missed by the new manager either and he can be very pleased with his performance.

Though it was very much an end of season game, there was certainly some “what ifs” springing to mind.  What if we had played four the back for the entire season? What if we had Flynn Downs and Big Les in the centre of midfield all season? What if Russell Martin had prioritised some sort of compromise on his playing out from the back principles? Even with all those things being in place, we probably would still have gone down but it wouldn’t have been the colossal shitshow that it ended up being.

Rambo Waves Goodbye

Having seen today’s game, I’m sure that Will Still will be hoping to keep Big Les, Aaron Ramsdale and Matty Fernandes for next season but sadly, it’s looking more and more unlikely than any of those will be around, the first two in particular.  Maybe Will can have a word with Matty and get him to promise us one season in the Championship.  I was pleased that Rambo had a good game today against his former club of course.  As said, I was fearing the worst and that he might ship five or six, so just the two with neither being his fault, is a decent last game.  Two blinding saves from Martinelli and Rice as well for a guy who is without doubt our best goalkeeper, probably since prime Fraser Forster under Ronald Koeman. 

I didn’t stay for the Lap of Defecation.  I couldn’t be bothered.  This season is done and dusted at long last - thank fuck - and it’s all about next year in a different division, with a new manager and a load of new players.  Lots of change coming our way in the next ten weeks and in the words of Joe Strummer (look it up youngsters) – The Future is Unwritten.

Up the Fucking Will Still’s Red and White Army.

Premier League Match 7 - Arsenal 3 Southampton 1

 

Well That Dream Lasted 3 minutes

Free hit time and Arsenal away at The Emirates, an away ground but we have an almost 100% record at and not in a good way. To be honest, we used to get battered pretty routinely at Highbury as well, but The Emirates has been a whole new level of pain ever since it was built. Highbury is still the only ground where I have left a game seriously early - Ian Wright completing a hat-trick to make it 4-0 in the 58th minute was enough for me back in the dim and distant past. Most people are going into this game expecting something similar today.

Arsenal this year like last, are the main serious rival to Manchester City apart from points deductions. The manager, Mikel Arteta has been building something for a considerable number of years now and is getting pretty close. There is and always will be something about him though that makes you hope that he never quite gets there. This season they have started well of course but have lost their talismanic captain, Martin Ødegaard to injury but other than him, last year‘s team that ran Manchester City close is still intact. Last year, David Raya was brought in on loan, which 12 months later has led to us signing Aaron Ramsdale. For that I guess we should thank Arteta – even if he is annoying.

When you play teams like Arsenal and you look for weakness, there aren’t really any as they are of course ridiculously strong in all areas of the pitch, so I think you have to focus on the areas that are not quite as good as the others.  In Arsenal‘s case, it’s the creativity through midfield without Odegaard and the area that will ultimately mean that they don’t finish about Manchester City, which is the attack. The likes of Trossard, Jesus and Sterling are obviously very good, but they are not exceptional.

Russell Martin has the chance today to get the team to put on a performance that banishes all the bad vibes of the Bournemouth game. There is zero expectation around this game, but we do need to put up a spirited performance and we cannot afford to get absolutely dicked.

Rambo Prays That We Don't Get Dicked

The first thing to report about the team news is that we actually have a striker on the pitch in Ross Stewart.  There is one unusual name, courtesy of what has become the traditional Russell Martin curveball, and it’s Ryan Manning who has not played a minute for the first team this season, neither in the league or the Carabao Cup. I’m guessing that he is in the team to combat Bukayo Saka down the Arsenal right. KWP has returned in place of Charlie Taylor, and on the face of it, having a right footed left back is not the worst thing in the world when Saka wants to come in on his left foot the whole time. Joe Aribo comes into the team instead of Big Les, which was entirely predictable given Russell Martin’s comments post-Bournemouth.

Arsenal selection offers a chink of possibility. Raheem Sterling is starting… I’ve always thought he was shit and that’s a hill I will die on. For me his pace always masks the fact that he isn’t actually a very good footballer. Also starting is Gabriel Jesus who has looked very out of form whenever he’s played, so hopefully we can frustrate and build into the game.

Away we go and it looks like a 4-4-1-1 formation with Matty Fernandes trying to get forward to support Stewart and Ryan Manning stationed on the left of midfield.  It’s all Arsenal from the start as you’d expect and Saints are not helping themselves by playing into the traps that Arsenal are clearly setting to catch us in possession in our own half. I count five times in a row that we don’t get out of our half before losing the ball and from one such turnover in play, Saka drills a cross over from the right, which is fired back into the mixer, hits Bednarek on the ankle and luckily bounces clear for Manning to hack it away.

Despite the suicide-ball that we attempt to play, we are restricting Arsenal and they are not testing Ramsdale at all. Finally, the game stops looking like a training exercise of attack versus defence and Aribo works the ball out to Dibling on the right, who teases Calafiore before his cross is headed out by Partey and KWP takes a swing from the edge of the box which is straight at Raya.

Saints are now finding their men quite well and Ramsdale chips one into the middle of the park, which Stewart controls and gets absolutely wiped out by Declan Rice. Stewart is up and then down again and it immediately becomes apparent that it’s a return to Crock Ness. The most remarkable thing about this is that the referee Tony Harrington has actually given us a free kick.   It’s a sad sight to see Ross going off again and you fear the worst as he doesn’t tend to do one-week injuries.  With Ross forlornly sitting on the deck and being treated, Cameron Archer is coming on which is a bit strange considering all Stewart has been trying to do is hold the ball up for our midfielders to join in. Tall Paul must be wondering what he’s got to do to get on the pitch.

We have now gone full training exercise.  Archer is not getting a touch and so Saints aren’t getting out at all. Saka is the main Arsenal threat, and his cross is deflected out to Jorginho who flashes a shot narrowly wide.  Arsenal’s physicality is something that we are struggling to live with and Havertz easily holds off Bednarek to knock the ball down and Arsenal are away again at the left through Sterling but as usual Sterling makes every wrong decision possible and his shot is headed away by the retreating Bednarek. Saka then tees up Thomas Partey on the edge of the box and he doesn’t wait for an invitation as usual, before firing on in there and Ramsdale gets down well to save and then Bednarek clears for a corner.

Half-time and so far, so good in that we have kept it relatively tight and reached this point goalless which everyone would’ve taken before the start of the game. A lot of been made of the set piece threat the Arsenal pose but we have survived five or six corners with relatively few alarms. It’s is of course, a long way to go before we can get in anyway excited about the possibility of getting a point.

The second half starts with the usual procession towards our goal and Gabriel Jesus puts one wide from the edge of the box. Saints then start showing intent as Tyler Dibling takes on the much hyped Calafiori and leaves him for dead, cutting into the penalty area before his cross flicks off of Gabriel and Fernandes desperately tries to readjust himself as he flies into the box, getting a touch and lifting it onto the roof of the net.

55 minutes and Saints try to play out and lose the ball to Sterling but Fernandes snaps back at him and runs him off the ball. Whilst Sterling is flapping around on the ground appealing for a free kick, Fernandes turns and sends Archer away in the inside left channel. His first touch takes the ball out to the corner of the penalty area but he cuts inside Saliba and drills it across Raya into the far corner. Fucking hell. What have we done?

After the mental celebrations have calmed down, Arsenal kick-off and we win the ball back with Fernandes knocking the ball back to Downes, who then telegraphs a ball out to the left to Manning which is easily intercepted by Saka and played forward to Havertz, who chops inside THB and smashes it past Ramsdale and then off the post. Fucks sake.  We led for three minutes.  Completely preventable.

Arteta throws on subs now and the Arsenal team gets immeasurably stronger with the arrival of Trossard, Martinelli and Merino.  The shit pair of Sterling and Gabriel Jesus have gone off, along with Jorginho. Arsenal are stepping up again now and Partey tries another unwelcome advance and shot from the edge of the box which is deflected narrowly wide with Ramsdale diving the other way.

More pressure and Arsenal easily get the ball out to Saka on their right and he gives Manning twisted blood before crossing to the back post where Martinelli has half the pitch to himself and volleys in from very close range.  Bollocks…. but we’re off to VAR.

“Hi Stockley Park, Tony Harrington here at Arsenal”
“Who they playing Tony?”
“No idea – some Championship no marks – what have you got?”
“Potential offside on the goal – Martinelli very close”
“Oh I do hope not – remember that Arsenal have had a couple of red cards for booting the ball away which they’re not happy with”
“OK, according to the etch-a-sketch, Martinelli is onside”
“Great… goal then….?”
“Hang on, got to cover our arses here – Merino is in offside position when he tries to head it”
“Yeah but he misses it doesn’t he?”
“Yes, but we have to make a subjective call as to whether he impacted the goal or not”
“Subjective is the key word there then ….”
“Yep – best wait a couple of minutes to make sure the boses know we’ve exhausted every option of giving the goal”

[ time goes by ]

So lads, a subjective decision and all that….and we all know what that means don’t we?”
“Yep – fuck the Championship no marks – goal to Arsenal”

Bollocks - how predictable.

Shrug

Saka is now leading us in a merry dance over that side and he snaps Mannings ankles before drilling another shot at the near post which Ramsdale beats away. Manning has had a decent game to be fair but he’s unsurprisingly knackered and off now to be replaced with Adam Armstrong.  In a shock development, Matty Fernandes gives way to be replaced by Tall Paul.

Dibling has now moved infield and picks up a short pass from Downes in the centre and jinks past a couple of players before letting fly from long-range and it takes a deflection, beats Raya and hits the outside of the post. Fuck. It comes the corner from Sugawara and THB flies in, the goalkeeper flaps at it and it hits Adam Armstrong bounces off the crossbar and over. No doubt if I had gone in, they would’ve found a way to disallow it.

Time is running out but we’re still in it as Dibling again lines at the retreating Calafiore before finding Armstrong and Sugawara’s low cross along 6 yard line is just in front of Tall Paul, who maybe should have gambled.

Saints push forward and lose the ball in midfield and Trossard is suddenly away and bearing down on goal but before he makes his mind up, Aribo gets back and pokes the ball away from him and Sugawara tidies up but his first touch is heavy and he clearly has not seen Saka lurking, who just passes it into the net.

And so another defeat but at least it wasn’t the humiliation that many of predicted before the start. The players and the manager restored a bit of pride today which was desperately needed after the Bournemouth shambles. Seasons are not defined by away defeats at Arsenal and positives can be taken from today. More than those later.

With Russell actually deciding to start with a striker today in Ross Stewart, we survived the first half despite spending the opening twenty giving the ball away in our half. At one stage I counted five consecutive times where we had tried to play out and then lost the ball before we got to anywhere near the halfway line. We kept on doing that after taking the lead and Russell Martin would call it brave and everyone else would call it dumb. Just for three minutes after our goal, an unnecessary pass by Flynn Downes was intercepted and there you have it, 1-1. Not that it really mattered but the third goal was also down to overplaying at the back with Sugawara deciding not to just clear the ball and instead taking a heavy touch and presenting the third goal to the excellent Saka.

In amongst all that we played some decent stuff and our goal was excellent with Matty Fernandes winning the ball back, driving forward and playing a quick forward pass to Archer who did the rest. Brilliant goal. With a little bit more luck we would’ve scored instead of hitting the woodwork twice, unluckily by Tyler Dibling and inadvertently by Adam Armstrong.

There wasn’t anyone out there who had what you would class as a poor game though Yuki Sugawara’s defending for the second and third goals leaves a hell of a lot to be desired. The second goal saw the left winger score without the right back having any idea where his man was at any point as he had his back to him whilst ball watching.  There were some very bright sparks today. Jan Bednarek had an excellent game in the centre of defence and Joe Aribo showed that he should definitely stay in the team in the centre of midfield. Tyler Dibling found going difficult to start with but came to life in the second half and gave experienced Italian international Calafiori a really tough time down that wing. Cam Archer's first goal of hopefully many. It was even a good cameo by Tall Paul his double step over roulette turn thing towards past William Saliba is going to end up as a social media highlight reel. Amazing skill for such a big guy. He might get more opportunities now as well with the luckless Ross Stewart having broken down again.

Trabzonspor Meltdown Incoming

Arsenal tried to win the game today giving some of their reserve players a game. Okay, the likes of Raheem Sterling and Gabriel Jesus are experienced international players but they are not as good as some of the Arsenal players and this was shown particularly with the introduction of Martinelli in the second half who ultimately made a massive difference. There is no shame at all and losing to this Arsenal side and we gave him a good go and with a little bit more luck with eh second goal and hitting the woodwork twice in a couple of minutes, we may have got something.

Is the Arsenal second goal offside?  I can see it both ways in all honesty.  If you are looking at it through Saints-tinted glasses then Merino goes to heads it from an offside position, Ramsdale has to cover that possibility and that clearly affects the time he has to get across to Martinelli’s effort.  I also ask the question as to whether it would have been disallowed if we’d scored it?

Whilst we can take positives from today despite losing, that’s not an option in the next game which is Leicester at home. They’ve just picked up their first win of the season with a 1-0 home win against Bournemouth and we simply have to beat them next time out, which doesn’t happen for another two weeks.

In the meantime, up the fucking International Break Saints.

Premier League Match 32 - Arsenal 3 Southampton 3

It Was Round About Now, That He Knew He Had Fucked Up

I’m not usually one for looking at stats for years gone by because they are not really relevant to 2023, but it is interesting to look at our record in league matches away at Arsenal in the Premier League and in Division 1 before football was invented in 1992. The last time we won a league game on the red side of North London was the 21st of November 1987 and the time before that was the 15th of April 1968 - Almost exactly 55 years ago.

The 1987 victory was courtesy of a goal by Rodney Wallace with our team including the likes of John Burridge, Jimmy Case, Andy Townsend and Glen Cockerill. Chris Nicholl was the manager against George Graham's Gunners, and the Gunners team that day included Steve Williams, one of our legends from the early 80s.  It also included some players who would win the first division title a couple of years later in John Lukic, Tony Adams, David O’Leary, David Rocastle, Michael Thomas, Alan Smith and Nigel Winterburn.

The aforementioned George Graham was an Arsenal player in the 1968 in our 3-0 win under Ted Bates, which came with goals from Terry Paine, Mick Judd and Joe Kirkup. The Gunners team also included future manager Terry Neill.

My combined team from the 68 and 87 line ups is

Eric Martin, Joe Kirkup. Derek Statham, John McGrath, Kevin Moore, Jimmy Case, Glenn Cockerill, Terry Paine, Mick Channon, Rod Wallace, John Sydenham

This team would give our current team a right pasting, even though a couple of them are no longer with us and some others are in their 80s. Mr Polo-Neck wouldn’t pick that team however because it’s got far too many attacking players on it. Channon and Wallace would be on the bench for starters, replaced by Jimmy Melia and Graham Baker.

Rodney - Ruben would have him on the Bench.

Our overall top-flight record on the red side of North London is won 2, lost 28 with 15 draws. You can safely say that history is not on our side. Of more relevance is that Southampton 2023 are shite.

Well it was fun researching that but now we have to get back to the non-fun of Southampton 2023. Zero expectation going into this one of course after writing another chapter of the Shitshow Manual on Saturday. I have no idea what the odds are on us winning this game but it must be about 200-1 if it was being realistic. I have no idea how many false nines we are going to have today but I’m sure that Selles has a master plan in the works that mean that we will move off the bottom of the table by the time everyone else plays on Saturday. Sarcasm doesn’t usually show up too well in print but I think I’ve managed it.

The Arsenal team of today is a scary proposition. When they had a good start of the season, everyone assumed it would just fizzle out but here they are, still top of the league as we get to the last seven or eight games. Manchester City have closed the gap in recent weeks so Arsenal will not be leaving anything out there today. They more or less always play a 4-3-3 formation with Gabriel Jesus leading the line and the twin threats of Saka and Martinelli on either side.

A further goal threat is provided by Odegaard who arrives from midfield in exactly the same way that Eberechi Eze did for Crystal Palace at the weekend. Of course, if we deal with that in the same way that we didn’t deal with Eze, then we are in for a bad evening. More goal threat is provided by their to holding midfielders Granit Xhaka and Thomas Partey who both strike a mean long-range effort. The defence is solid apart from the one obvious weak link which, due to the absence through injury of William Saliba, sees Rob Holding and his hair transplant getting a game. He is very average and wouldn’t even be a guaranteed starter in our team so that’s the one we have to target, preferably with a striker on the pitch. Wouldn’t it be just like us to give him a nice comfortable afternoon.

Again I’m wondering what the fuck Ruben Selles is going to do today. This game would normally be one that would be happy to accept getting nothing in but as we still need to give staying up a shot, we are now in the position where we have to try and win this game. His press conference the day before the game was the usual drivel, none of it suggesting that he was going to adopt a different approach that might actually score a fucking goal. I am so done with him. I saw it with Nathan Jones after three games and I’m seeing it with Selles already

To the team selection and it’s happened again.  More absolute fucking madness with the one random player being brought into the starting line-up, courtesy of winning the ‘Make-a-Wish’ Squad Player Raffle.  Today it’s Adam Armstrong replacing last week’s’ winner, Joe Aribo.  Armstrong of course, has been scoring loads of goals for the B Team and looking sharp when he has played in cameo appearances.  Big horrible lie there - he has done fuck all. The rest of the team is more or less as you would expect, with Elyounoussi coming back in for Sulemana because his defending is interpreted as being better.  Well that line-up will chase everything and should be disciplined but come on?

Saints kick-off and the ball gets launched down the right hand side where Arsenal win it and keep possession and knock it back to Ramsdale.  Ramsdale takes his time before trying to play a straight ‘eye of the needle’ pass into Zinchenko in midfield, which is read by Alcaraz, who takes a touch and finds a yard of space before firing past Ramsdale and into the far corner. What a fucking start that is. What a gift.

Arsenal are really all over the place with the nerves of the occasion for them and 10 minutes in and Arsenal try and play around the halfway line but Thomas Partey gives the ball away and Elyounoussi knocks it forward to Alcaraz, who takes it in his stride and waits for Walcott’s run on the right hand side in behind Gabriel before releasing the ball at exactly the right time for Theo to roll it into the net. What the fuck is going on here?  Two fucking nil.

Goal-Assist-Substituted

You know that Arsenal are coming back with Odegaard feeding Saka down the right wing and he lines up Perraud before beating him easily and pulling the cross back to where Martinelli volleys it into the net to make it 2-1. Shite. Too easy by far.

Saints are still attacking though with Perraud’s cross from the left being headed goalwards by Elyounoussi and fumbled by Ramsdale before Alcaraz hooks a shot back in forcing Ramsdale into a half decent save this time. The goalkeeper really is all over the shop, as are the usually reliable Gabriel and Zinchenko, who are not helping out Rob Holding’s hair transplant at all.

Zinchenko booms a ball up the left-hand side miles up in the air and Bednarek goes to head it and Martinelli deliberately makes a back for him with no intention of competing for the ball. Bednarek goes over the top of him and lands on his shoulder/head. Absolutely fucking vile cowards challenge by Martinelli but Simon Hooper sees fit just to give a free kick, as the motionless Bednarek lies on the ground. This is endangering another player, pure and simple but fuck all is done. Bednarek eventually gets back to his feet and he’s forced to be substituted. He doesn’t want to go but he has to and it’s only when Caleta-Car comes on as a sub that he seems to accept it. Two minutes later Martinelli takes on KWP who pulls him back and KWP of course gets booked. Should’ve picked him up and dropped him on his fucking head as that’s fine apparently.

After the substitution, Saints settle down and play some nice football in the Arsenal half before the ball finds Alcaraz on the edge of the box who gets dumped by Gabriel. It looks like a foul but of course we’re not getting given that and Arsenal break with Odegaard putting Saka away on the right-hand side. His delayed pass finds Gabriel Jesus running through but Baz makes a good block out for a corner. In comes the corner from Saka and it’s flicked goalward by White’s header and it’s over Baz and dropping in before Alcaraz gets back to head it off the line.

Half-time and winning. Never saw that happening.  Need to stay positive and make sure we give Arsenal’s dodgy defence something to think about in the second half.  There have been many games recently where I wanted the manager to make substitutions at half-time and he hasn’t done so and today is the opposite so of course, he does and of course, he takes off our best attacking player Charly Alcaraz.  What the fuck?  Absolutely everything we have done has gone through that guy.  So we're just gonna let Arsenal's dodgy defence have a free ride... fuck off!  It is very clear from sending Lyanco on that Selles is going to try and sit and hold this for the entire second half.  We’ve been good today because after the Ramsdale gift, we have posed some sort of attacking threat but we’re gonna end up with a flat back five now so the attacking threat's gonna disappear with just Adam Armstrong upfront, who has been absolutely hopeless so far.

The first 15 of the second half is just Arsenal camped in our half and trying to pick their way through.  We eventually decide to go forward with Lyanco starting it with a nice ball down the right hand side for KWP to find Walcott. Eventually it finds its way back to KWP who wins a corner.  In comes the corner from JWP, flicked on by ABK and there at the back post, to head in a goal Nathan jones would have been proud of, was Caleta-Car.  3-1 from our first foray into their half after half time.  The lesson should be – keep posing a threat.

JWP-ABK-DCC

With 20 minutes to go, though it’s still 3-1, it’s all Arsenal now.  Martinelli takes time off from dropping defenders on their head to clip in a lovely ball over the top of the defence which is met by Gabriel Jesus, who takes time off from diving any time the ball goes anywhere near him, to side foot the ball the over the bar.

Selles makes another couple of changes with Adam Armstrong being put out of his misery and the clearly tiring Walcott being replaced by Tall Paul, who goes up for on his own, and Sulemana, who takes Theo’s position on the right of what is now a 5-4-1 formation. It all goes pretty well for another 15 minutes or so with Arsenal sending on Trossard and Nketiah but Saints are still standing up well and then comes another substitution and it’s Romeo Lavia going off to be replaced by Ibrahima Diallo with the clock on 88 minutes.

Three minutes later and it’s 3-3. Martin Odegaard picks up the ball on the right-hand side and cuts across the top of the penalty area before curling in a shot with his left foot into the far corner, which gives Baz no chance at all.  Within a minute Trossard forces a ball into the penalty area to Gabriel Jesus, who lays it back to Nelson, whose shot his parried into the middle of the goal by Baz and there is Saka to knock it into the net for 3-3.

Needless to say there’s only one team looking like winning it and Trossard picks up a ball from Nelson, fakes to shoot before finally shooting from the edge of the ‘D’ and hitting the bar and seeing it fly over.

Every time the ball goes into the mixer it’s absolute carnage, usually ending with Gabriel Jesus throwing himself to the floor and whilst he was still on the ground and praying for a penalty that he was never going to get, the ball broke to Nelson who shot was deflected just wide courtesy of superb defending by JWP.

Another ball into the mixer by Trossard is brought down by Saka and goes free and once again, Gabriel Jesus hits the deck because he’s a cheating fucker and Saints get it away.  Sulemana has a sprint to the loose ball and after getting blocked American Football style by Odegaard, and then shoved out of the way by Nelson, Simon Hooper is in full ‘Arsenal comeback’ mode so he’s not going to give us anything.

The last Arsenal effort it’s from Thomas Partey, who true to form, doesn’t wait for anyone’s permission before he smashes one in there and over the bar from 30 yards.

And we survive…. But we’ve really lost and so have Arsenal.

What a game that was for the neutral but for fans of Saints and Arsenal, a draw does pretty much fuck all for anyone. Being in the position that we are in in the league and being the position that we were in on 88 minutes, we absolutely had to win that game but the substitution when Lavia went off and replaced with Diallo, gave us one extra player, to add to Elyounoussi and Tall Paul who are of absolutely no use whatsoever and it seemed to tip the balance and Arsenal got their two goals.

We are such a weird team. We have some truly excellent individual players and this will probably be borne out when they join other decent Premier League teams for next season. Unfortunately, we are going down with a manager who so negative and some utterly shit players who just kill you. It was really noticeable today that with it being a high-quality game against high-quality opposition, our shit players didn’t touch the ball.  Adam Armstrong must’ve touched the ball about five times all game, similarly Elyounoussi and Diallo and Tall Paul were basically training cones for Arsenal to pass around.

I was impressed in the main with the defending today and certainly the commitment. KWP and Perraud both played pretty well up against Arsenal’s best two players and even though both were on a yellow card from the first half, managed to stay disciplined throughout the second. All four centre backs used did well. Bednarek showed previously unseen qualities of fight and leadership after the disgraceful cowards challenge by Martinelli which went totally unpunished by the referee. He wanted to stay on and it was good to see him getting involved talking to the defenders during a break of play in the second half.   ABK was always there and had another good game, whilst Caleta-Car and Lyanco both got to the pace of the game straight away and played with aggression which was needed. Compare and contrast with Ibrahima Diallo it came on and didn’t have a clue what day it was and aside from one buccaneering stampede down the right hand side, Tall Paul was fucking hopeless.

Theo Walcott was impressive on the right hand side on his return to the Emirates and JWP and Lavia were excellent in the centre of midfield and of course it was when Lavia was substituted that it all went to shit.

A word for referee Simon Hooper, who has previously been one of my favourite referees.  On the plus side, he didn't buy any of the multiple dives by Gabriel Jesus and previously, he has not bowed to any of Bruno Fernandes ridiculous shit at Old Trafford.  However, he and his team got very caught up in the Arsenal narrative at times today.  The amount of injury time was a joke.  The first half injury time can be justified due to Martinelli dropping Bednarek on his head but 8 minutes at the end?  Really?  During that 8 minutes he totally forgot that Arsenal can commit fouls as well and NFL blocking is not a thing in our football over here.  As for the Bednarek fall - if that's not endangering a player then I don't know what is.

Tommy Cooper Makes the Lead Disappear - Just Like That!

It was a bizarre game for Ruben Selles.  We played well and a 3-3 draw at Arsenal is a decent result on the face of it.  I do feel that Ramsdale throwing us a goal so early was the only thing that made it a good starting formation.  The starting line-up was strange and the inclusion of Adam Armstrong, like the inclusion of Joe Aribo against Palace, was mind blowing.  The substitution at half-time to remove Charly Alcaraz was fucking mental again. He was by far our best player in the first half, scoring one, setting up another one, clearing one Arsenal effort off the line but he was taken off to enable us to go five at the back and Adam Armstrong who had barely touched the ball was left on. With that all of our attacking play disappeared for the first 20 minutes in the second half until we scored from the first corner that we won on the first attack that we had in the second half.  3-1 up and all was well and Arsenal were fizzled out but then he took Lavia off and brought on Diallo which was a dick move for two reasons – a vastly inferior player and any new player has to be instantly up to speed.  Unless Lavia was dead on his feet, leave him on.

For a brief period of time on the real-time table, we were off the bottom but it wasn’t to last and whilst a point at Arsenal is never a bad point, we had to win this in the same way that we had to win the away game of Manchester United against 10 men. I’ve said this loads of times this season, but we of course have to follow up this decent performance and result against one of the big boys, with beating Bournemouth on Thursday and once again the onus is on the manager to pick a team to go out and win that game.

It does look like we’ve handed at the Premier League title to Manchester City but I don’t really care about that. Today will probably prove to be a bit of a gurgle as we disappear down the plug hole and into the Championship though it does give hope that we can go to places like Newcastle and have a chance of getting something up there.  None of that of course will mean anything if we don’t beat Bournemouth and Fulham in our next two home games.

Up the fucking Saints

Premier League Match 12 - Southampton 1 Arsenal 1

 

And From That Moment On - Arsenal Knew They Were In a Game

I’ve gone into every home game that we played against Arsenal in the last few years thinking that we had a really good chance as far as games against the Super league clubs go. In that time, Arsenal could be best described as being flaky. Yes they had some good players in the attacking positions but the central midfield would usually quite weak and the defence was always likely to give you something. They arrive at St Mary‘s today, four points clear at the top of the Premier League and I have a feeling that this might be slightly more tricky than a trip to Bournemouth. Instead of Solanke, Tavernier, Billing and Christie, read Gabriel Jesus, Gabriel Martinelli, Martin Ødegaard and Bukayo Saka. And that’s just attacking players…. but it gives you an indication that the clean sheet achieved at Bournemouth is going to be quite difficult to replicate today.

Also, we’re going to be trying to keep a clean sheet and we’re not going to have the services of KWP, who picked up a hamstring injury which probably means that his admittedly outside chance of going to the World Cup in November have gone. With injuries to Reece James, Kyle Walker and Southgate realising that he doesn’t want to take Trent Alexander Arnold,, his outside chance was becoming more of a good chance, so it really is sods law that he’s picked up an injury as well. His normal replacement at right back would probably be Ainsley Maitland-Niles but of course he is on loan from Arsenal so is ineligible for today’s game, giving Ralph a probable choice between Moussa Djenepo and the left footed Juan Larios for the right back role, be that as part of a back four or more likely, a back five.

Arsenal of course have one of the more insufferable fanbases when it comes to social media. They have Arsenal Fan TV and Piers Morgan, who spent years campaigning against Arsène Wenger before turning his guns on Unai Emery and then Mikel Arteta, but he’s now declared that he’s happy with the way things are going, so that’s alright then. The rank and file Arsenal fans on social media have been making lots of noise this week about the amount of them who have tickets in the home end so it’ll be interesting to see if there are any incidents in the crowd today especially given the clubs heavy-handed stance at closing block one and therefore blaming home fans for any unrest in the ground.

Team news and it looks like Ralph is going with a back five with what looks like Elyounoussi at right wing back. Lyanco is in the team, I assume as the third centre back but as I sit in the ground half an hour before the game, I’m looking at the crossing drill that we do now and the two full backs who are putting crosses in are Perraud and Lyanco which maybe suggests we are going four at the back to start with with the lunatic at right back. One thing that is definite is that Che Adams is not in the team and is apparently only fit for the bench after having tight hamstrings after the Bournemouth game. As a result it looks like Joe Aribo is going to be pushed up front with Stuart Armstrong coming into the team. AMN’s place in midfield has predictably been taken by Ibrahima Diallo, who has another chance to prove that he’s not just the player you bring on to help close the game down with 10 minutes to go. There are places on the bench for youngsters Jake Finnegan and Lewis Payne.  Arsenal are at full strength aside from there is no Zinchenko at left back where they have put Tomiyasu who I thought was right footed. Seems a bit odd given that Kieran Tierney is on the bench

Well the game didn’t start well with Perraud clearly thinking that Saka was right footed and he showed him on his left and he whipped over a cross which was narrowly in front of Gabriel running in.

Saints first effort comes from an unlikely source as the ball gets played out wide by Stuart Armstrong to Lyanco at right back and he just keeps on going and gets to about 35 yards out and with images of Carlos Alberto Brazil 1970 World Cup Final in his mind, smashes the ball in with his right foot …. which is gathered easily enough by Ramsdale.

In general play, Saints are not getting anywhere near Arsenal, who are just playing the way through midfield and Gabriel Jesus is about to pull the trigger before Salisu dives in but the ball bounces out to Xhaka who from a narrow angle, tries to drill a hole through Bazunu but Baz stands strong and blocks it away with his knees

We don’t appear to be waking up to the problem however and Arsenal continue pissing through us. Ødegaard side foots narrowly wide from the edge of the box.. Basically, if we don’t start getting close to them in midfield and push higher at the pitch, we are going to get completely smashed.

With 10 minutes gone, Ben White has the ball in the right hand side and plays it into Saka who back heels it via a deflection back to White and his cross is dispatched easily by Granit Xhaka. Not really a surprise and it has certainly been coming. Good goal but Stuart Armstrong has totally failed to go with White as he burst forward and no one has picked up Xhaka on the edge of our box

The game is nearly dead on its arse straight away afterwards as JWP gives away cheap ball in midfield and Ødegaard puts Gabriel Jesus in behind Caleta-Car and he fortunately hits the side netting.

Lyanco is clearly had enough of this passive shit and goes up for a header with Martinelli and his eyes must have lit up as he headed the ball and smashed into the Arsenal player as well. A few minutes of treatment for the Arsenal man and then Lyanco goes one better and does the wrong postcode trick, arriving in SO14 with ball is already in SO15. Granit Xhaka is the player in the way.

The chances keep coming for Arsenal as an unlucky deflection between Caleta-Car and Diallo sees the ball sit up for Jesus to smash it goalwards but Baz makes a decent block and we breathe again. Ben White, having seen Saka get booked for a dive earlier, decides to dive as well and it’s even more blatant but the referee ignores this one.

We have made it to half-time just the one goal down. The last 15 minutes or so have been better but it’s all about the next goal. If Arsenal get it then we are completely screwed. If we have our usual lacklustre opening 15 of the second half, then we are also screwed.  Away we go and we seem to have switched full time now to a back three with Elyounoussi pressed into service as a right wing back.

We are also pressing higher and force Arsenal into a mistake as Saliba passes it straight to Adam Armstrong who just has Gabriel inbetween himself and Ramsdale.  He then picks an unfortunate time to be possessed by the ghost of Shane Long and the worst touch ever absolutely fucks it up.

The tide seems to have turned a bit though as Stuart Armstrong gets in a cross from the left and Elyounoussi arrives at exactly the right time in the middle but plays in airshot and Arsenal get it clear.  Elyounoussi shows the better side of his game when Diallo coughs up possession in midfield and Ødegaard puts Gabriel Jesus right through but the makeshift right wing-back appears from nowhere and makes one of those tackles that prevent a certain goal.

Fucking Hell Lads - We Kept It On The Ground!

Bearing in mind that we have been a long ball team for a while now, what happens next is beautiful. Salisu gets the ball from Bazunu in the left back area and passes it in to the feet of Aribo on the halfway line he steps over it and Perroud gets clear. A ball out to Elyounoussi on the right hand side he runs at Tomiyasu before slipping a ball in for Stuart Armstrong to score. Brilliant goal.  Arsenal keyboard warriors crying.

There is no immediate reaction from the league leaders and Saints are definitely having more of the game now in a decent build up at the right through Elyounoussi and Edozie eventually sees JWP swing over across which ends up with Perraud who tries a volley which unfortunately, for his ‘goal of the season’ ambitions, goes quite comfortably wide. The point is that we look as much like scoring now as they do.

Theo Walcott is on - this is not a drill.... and he dives and gets booked.

Saints win a succession of corner and JWP whips them all in to be cleared away.  One of them goes back to him however and his back-heel puts Stuart Armstrong in on the left and his pull back finds Aribo who kind of has to fetch it from behind him but still gets the shot away and straight at Ramsdale.
 
Arsenal are still a dangerous of course from their admittedly less frequent attacks.  Tierney gets down the left-hand side but the ball is clearly out as he hooks it back into the middle for Odegaard to score.  When I say ‘clearly out’. I can’t see that from at the other end so just assumed that we are conceded.  It’s an almighty relief when I see it’s been chalked off.

The one remaining piece of entertainment is Nketiah testing Lyanco’s patience with a bit of pushing and getting three times back in return.  Yellow card for the Lyanco.  When the ref asked for his name he replied ‘Lyanco Evangelista Silveira Neves Lunatic Brazilian Serb Overhead-Kicking Fuckin Have It Mad Bastard Vojnovic’

Full time and what a decent result that is. With that, we become only the second team this season to not get beaten by this new improved Arsenal side. The second half performance in particular was absolutely excellent from us when we stopped giving them as much respect as we did in the first half.

The opening 20 minutes was as passive and as shit as it can possibly get, as we stood off and just allowed Arsenal to play through us at will, which of course they did about three times before they actually scored. Maybe the turning point was Lyanco steaming through the back of Martinelli to win that header. It’s certainly put Martinelli off for the rest of the game. Saka’s dive also came just after that and that seemed to put him off for the rest of the game as well.

The goal we scored was absolutely superb, starting with the keeper, all along the ground and ending with Elyounoussi finally releasing the pass at the right moment for Stuart Armstrong to score. Stuart Armstrong’s diagonal run to meet Elyounoussi’s pass is a classic example of what we do not do very often. In the first half all of our movement ahead of the ball was just in straight lines, people coming short and that is so easy to play against and you’re not making defenders think.  By moving across the pitch left and right, you are making defenders either make a decision to track you or communicate with the other defenders to pass players over to them. It makes defenders work so much harder if the forwards move across the pitch.

Caleta-Car was again rock solid at the back and apart from a couple of ropey passes in the first half, Salisu had another good game. Roman Perraud is getting better every game at the moment and now looks fit enough to play 90 minutes which he hasn’t always done before. There were still problems in midfield, especially in the first half with Diallo and JWP just being present and not actually doing anything to influence the game.  They got it sorted in the second half a bit with Diallo becoming much more dynamic and allowing JWP to get involved further up the pitch.

Adam Armstrong was Adam Armstrong in that he worked very hard upfront with no prospect of a goal. The one time he had the last defender one-on-one he fell over the ball and that kind of sums it up. That opportunity came because we put pressure on the Arsenal central defenders who coughed up possession. Who knew but putting teams under pressure rather than letting them just do what they want as a good thing?  I thought Joe Aribo did okay as a makeshift striker in the absence of Che Adams. His control in tight areas is ridiculous at times but he doesn’t have the pace to play that role with any regularity. Stuart Armstrong scored a great goal but the weaker side of his game was highlighted in the Arsenal goal as Ben White joined in the attack and Perraud was left with both White and Saka to deal with as Stu had nodded off.

Jesus - Where Did He Come From?

As regular readers will know I am not a fan of Elyounoussi because of his slowness at realising situations and releasing a ball. Well today, he got it absolutely spot-on for the goal we scored. I’ve never doubt it is defensive work for the team and the tackle he made on Gabriel Jesus running back towards his own goal won us the point as much as the equaliser did.

Lyanco Evangelista Silveira Neves Lunatic Brazilian Serb Overhead-Kicking Fuckin Have It Mad Bastard Vojnovic

We have to talk about Lyanco though.  It's his planet and the rest of us just live on it.

The guy is an absolute fucking nutcase and there are definite liability tendencies, however, he changed the game when he steamed through Martinelli man and ball, who didn’t wanna know after that. He also sent Xhaka running for the hills as well when he clattered into him. It was an absolute beast of a performance in a good way. He changes the perception of the team – the opposition won’t think it’s a men against boys challenged when Lyanco is out there.  It’s a cliché that people of my age (50+) tend to come out with – “there are no characters these days”.  Lyanco proves that you need them.  If he hadn’t have played today, we’d have lost and the atmosphere in the second half would have been flat.  He brought everyone else, players and fans with him.  Saints have been too 'nice' for a while now... not today.  We need players that opposition fans hate and Arsenal fans on social media since the game have certainly proved that point.

Ralph got it pretty much spot on today given the cards he was dealt with the injuries and having to rest Che Adams. We went from a flat back four with Lyanco it right back to 3 at the back with Elyounoussi at right wing back and it seemed to change fairly regularly in the first half.  The second half was the best we have looked with a three at the back formation. The substitutions were all done at the right time and it’s been a very good week for Ralph overall with five points from three games.

Crystal Palace away is next up and it’s a real good chance to put behind us the poor results that we had against other middling teams in the recent past, combined with the poor limp performances that we put in against Wolves, Villa and Everton.  This cannot be repeated next Saturday with a trip to Selhurst Park to face Wilfried Zaha and his tantrums. Lyanco versus Zaha has the potential to be the stuff of legend so unlike Martinelli, we know that Zaha won’t shrink from the challenge. Looking forward to it.

Bring it on and up the fucking Saints.