Premier League Match 34 - Brighton 2 Southampton 2

 

Ori Remembers to Duck

After the horrendous shit show at Burnley, we travelled to Brighton today in hope that the team would react. To be fair, they reacted after the Chelsea game and beat Arsenal so why not.  Why we have to always be reacting to piss poor performances is another matter altogether for another day but let’s just hope that we get something today.

A trip to the Amex at Brighton is never one of the more daunting away trips with the fans being very friendly in the main and their team not being very good, especially at home. They are coming to this game however on the back of two consecutive away wins in North London against Arsenal and then Spurs so they will be confident, even if they are in front of their own fans.

Brighton’s manager is of course Graham Potter who is very highly thought of by seemingly everybody who is not a Brighton fan.  Many Brighton fans seem to be not sure at all about him but the truth is, they are a mid-table team whose first thought every season is survival and it’s going to be very difficult for them to crack the top half because they don’t score enough goals. Sounds similar to us in lots of ways.

Their main striker is still Neal Maupay who is a handful but he is a shit house and he is someone who you always laugh at when you hear that he’s gone 15 games without a goal. Danny Welbeck is still getting games in the Premier League which is pretty ridiculous as well.  Someone who has impressed this year is Alexis McAllister in midfield and the excellent Leandro Trossard who may well be looking for a move to a bigger club in the summer.  The defence in the main is very solid with a combination of Lewis Dunk and Adam Webster in central defence and Robert Sanchez is a decent goalkeeper. Missing today from the midfield is Yves Bissouma who has picked up 473 bookings since the season started. He makes Oriol Romeu look like Gary Lineker.

As said at the start, Saints are looking for a reaction and Ralph has made a few changes to try and achieve it. We are back to the 4-2-2-2 formation with Salisu coming back in. Livramento is at right back with KWP on the left and the wingers are two recently marginalised players in Nathan Tella and Nathan Redmond. As I look down the list it’s all okay… and then I see that partnering Che Adams up front is Shane Long.  What the actual fuck is going on? How can 35-year-old Shane Long who is surely leaving the club in less than a month, getting selected to play from the start in a Premier League game ahead of Adam Armstrong, a striker that we paid £15 million quid for in the summer?

Anyway, it’s a lovely day in Brighton and because of the way that the stadium is orientated, you know full well you are going to be getting sunburn on one side of your face.  It’s a funny little ground, set as it is in the South Downs and it has a lopsided feel to it which gives it a bit of character.  It’s certainly better than the Withdean anyway.

Away we go, a minute in and Brighton build up down our right and eventually win a throw off of Livramento in the corner. We then completely switch off as Cuccurella gets the cross over, Salisu dives in with Forster and neither take charge and the ball bounces for Danny Welbeck to poke into the net from about 3 yards.  It’s an absolute clusterfuck of errors from us. Tino doesn’t do enough to stop the original cross coming in, Fraser seems to take his eye off it and misses the ball and then Salisu piles into him and then swings a foot at it to try and clear it and succeeded and only in booting Fraser in the head. Fucking great start lads.

Fraser and Sali do the Fuck Up Dance

Saints respond reasonably well with Che Adams picking out Tino on the right-hand side with loads of space to run into and he advances and drills in a cross shot with bounces off the far post, off the back of the goalkeeper and bounces clear from Adams. Fucking lucky bastards. Where was that luck when we were a shambles at the back in the opening couple of minutes?

Salisu is playing like a man who has not played for 2 years, let alone 2 matches and is generally having a shocker, which extends to another mistake when he misses a header and gets outmuscled by the tiny Maupay.  The ball eventually finds its way to Danny Welbeck on the left, who forces Fraser into a standard save at the near post.

Salisu is not being helped by partner Bednarek and they try and pass it to eachother until Bednarek wafts if out of play and whilst they are arguing about who was the more shite, everyone switches off again from the throw and Trossard is allowed to run towards goal and win a corner. The corner is met by Lewis Dunk and Maupay flicks into the net but he is a good 5 yards offside. We are causing all our own problems again and Brighton are really not having to work very hard for their shooting opportunities.

There is a worrying development soon after as Tino goes to close down Mwepu and collapses in a heap. Like they did when their centre forward tried to break Yan Valery’s leg a couple of years ago, the Brighton fans booed the fact that the referee stopped the game but everyone with half a brain cell could see this was a serious one. There is about a five-minute break whilst Tino is loaded onto a stretcher and taken away. Grim. Get well soon Tino.

Perraud is on with KWP switching but we are still no better and we play ourselves into the shit as Romeu dawdles, loses the ball and Trossard gets it across to Welbeck and like with the opening goal, there is a big scramble but this time we get lucky has Forster blocks the shot and we scramble it clear.    Even when we attack we look clueless and JWP puts a cross into the Brighton penalty area which gets cleared out as far as Perraud who takes far too long to realise what’s going on and now Brighton are on the break with and Mwepu and Welbeck on the right hand side. Welbeck finds Trossard who returns a hopeful pass towards Welbeck but Salisu and Romeu don’t appear to be talking to each other, meaning Salisu diving in and clipping it superbly into his own net via the post. Great finish. For fuck‘s sake…

2-0 down we’ve been fucking dreadful, but an aimless punt forward brings hope as Tella puts Cuccurella under pressure and he loses the ball, eventually trashing the Saints winger on the edge of the penalty area and we all know what this means. It’s very central but up steps JWP. It’s amusing because the Brighton fans behind the goal are trying to put him off like you would normally try and put off a penalty taker. This this time he goes around the wall to the keepers side but Sanchez has tried to anticipate it and taken that one step that means he has absolutely killed himself in the ball nestles in the bottom corner via post. Quite brilliant.

In at half-time just the one behind. To be honest, we have been absolute fucking rubbish so far with no cohesion in attack and we look absolutely shambolic in defence. If we don’t sort the defence out then we got absolutely no chance of not conceding a goal in the second half, so that’s the first priority, but having got a goal back, we at least have a chance.

This one is for Tino

No changes at half-time but we are immediately different team. We have stepped up and we are pushing onto the Brighton players and we are finding that they are not in fact very good under pressure.   Even when not under pressure, Webster gives the ball away to Romeu who finds Tella out on the left hand side. He takes on Veltman before finding Romeu on the edge of the box who becomes possessed by the spirit of Iniesta and Xavi and produces a backheel and JWP absolutely laces it into the bottom corner of the net giving Sanchez absolutely no chance at all. Absolute scenes in the away end - red smoke and everything. What a fucking goal.

Who wants it more?  Saints are the better side now of course and we create another chance through persistence as Salisu nods a clearance back into the box and it drops down for the talismanic Shane Long to attempt to curl one in to the far top corner but Sanchez pulls off one for the cameras.  I feel that there would have been a pitch invasion if that had gone in.

Tella, who has been decent then falls foul of the usual and has to go off with cramp and is replaced by Stuart Armstrong.  Not long after, Shane is poured off the pitch and on comes Broja.

There’s a heart in mouth moment as Trossard gets always on the left-hand side and finds substitute Gross in the centre forward position, surrounded by 20 yards of space and no central defenders.  We seem to be assuming that he’s offside but he takes the touch, orders a pint of Guinness, lets it settle, wonders where the defenders are, lines up a shot and smashes it into the bottom corner.  It is offside isn’t it? …. linesman‘s flag has gone up straight away. However, it is slightly disconcerting that the VAR check seems to be taken quite a while but no bother, disallowed and the Brighton fans that have made their first noise of the second half can shut up again.

As we get towards the 90, both teams seem happy with a draw.  Having been 2-0 down you have to be happy with a point at the end of the day but boy, did we might hard work of it.  The first 40 minutes were shockingly bad with no idea of how to defend and even less idea of how to attack. In amongst all that we had the sight of Tino Livramento being stretchered off which as I write, is looking like an ACL and 9 months out.  Get well soon Tino.

Our initial reaction to the Burnley defeat was to concede a goal in a minute from Brighton’s first attack as some namby-pamby defending allowed the cross to come in and the Forster and Salisu shambles resulted in a tap in for Welbeck, another striker who ended his drought against Saints.  After Tino had hit the post and got injured, we conceded an equally shambolic second as we even managed to save Brighton having to do what they always struggle with - putting the ball in the net themselves.  If we’d gone in 2-0 down at half-time then I very much doubt there was any way really to get back into it but the free kick from the man himself JWP, changed the narrative for the second half and Brighton were always going to get nervous with their shite home record.

The second half was completely different as we seem to press higher at the pitch and gave Brighton no time at all and forced them into mistakes.  This is how we’re supposed to play isn’t it? The equaliser was down to a patient build up but it had purpose and was well set up by Romeu and excellently finished by JWP but Brighton fans will be fuming that he was left completely unmarked on the edge of the box. I feel that there was an opportunity for Saints to really push on and win this game but it wasn’t to be.  We didn’t quite do enough in the last 25 minutes and neither did Brighton.

Che Adams was brilliant today. I don’t think he gave the ball away at all and his link up play was superb, especially in the second half.  The only problem was of course that as he was doing all the donkey work, he wasn’t a goal threat in that I don’t think he actually had a shot.  You need the other striker to be the goal threat but our other striker was Shane Long so it really wasn’t going to happen. Shane had a couple of nice touches in the second half but in the first half was completely non-existent and there is absolutely no way that he should’ve been out there. There was always the very slim chance that Shane would’ve been brilliant today and prove that my assertion that he should never be playing completely wrong. However, I was proved right and Adam Armstrong should’ve played.

Nathan Tella contributed well down the left flank mainly, using his pace to good affect but his lack of regular gametime was evident when he went down with cramp and had to come off.   He did play a major part in both goals though so I’d like to see him stay in the team for a while.  Nathan Redmond was Nathan Redmond - no more no less. Slowing down many moves and playing the safe pass and I don’t think I saw him take anyone on all game. He put  over a couple of decent crosses when there was no other option but he is what he is and like with Shane, I don’t think we should really be surprised or expect any different anymore.

Salisu had a nightmare first half but in the second half he seemed to snap back into action and was back to being a player we know that he can be. His resurgence was mirrored by the whole team.  Finally, what can you say about JWP.  Another different type of free-kick today to add to the one at Wolves which means that keepers will have even less idea what he’s going to do.  There’s going to be a team soon who either don’t put a wall in place or put defenders on both posts.  The strike for the second goal was superb as well – absolutely buried it.

The fact that we, as a team, played well in the second half and came back into the game gives us hope that the next four games won’t be a complete waste of time but at the end of the day, as a team we put in a 45 minute performance and you are not going to get away with that too often. We need 90 minutes next week against Crystal Palace or else we will be leaving St.Mary’s with nothing. Today though we can finally celebrate reaching 40 points and be happy that we finished the game in a way that we need to start the next game. Bring it on.

Premier League Match 33 - Burnley 2 Southampton 0

 

Saints Defender Appeals for Offside

Burnley on a Thursday night. Fuck me, it doesn’t get much more appetising than that. Fair play to all the Southampton boys and girls who have made the trip. Done it once, never again.

There is of course a very good chance that no Southampton fan will be making this trip next season because Burnley currently sit inside the bottom three, three points adrift having played one game more than Everton. They have course have been in the news this week because they have sacked their manager of 10 years, Sean Dyche who has basically performed fucking miracles to keep them in the Premier League over the last seven years and not only that, he once got them qualified for the Europa League. Before that, he had been relegated once to the Championship but brought them straight back up again. On the face of it, to let him go as is absolutely ridiculous but then ridiculous seems to be the way Burnley function these days, with a new owner Alan Pace who on the face of it seems to be full to the brim of brown stuff.  He has certainly taken a huge gamble with this decision especially as it appears at the moment that he doesn’t have a backup plan and no manager ready to come in. To be fair, they got a decent result at the weekend with a 1-1 draw against West Ham with a team of caretaker managers that included captain Ben Mee and Dyche’s old number two, Michael Jackson… no, not that one.

Whilst I never liked Dyche when we were playing them, you cannot do anything but admire what he has achieved with spending next to no money at what is basically a very small club. If they do indeed go down this season, there are a few cautionary tales they would do well to take note of, namely Bolton and Stoke, neither of whom have been anywhere near a return to the Premier League since they got relegated.

Jackson has a few good players to work with and I feel that Burnley have been victim of this season of trying to slightly alter their style. The twin battering rams of Wood and Barnes that defined Burnley, are no longer present with Wood having followed the money to Newcastle and Barnes being injured, possibly with a dislocated jaw from screaming at a linesman.  In the wide areas they have Maxwel Cornet and Dwight McNeil who are both decent players and up front is Ex-Saint Jay Rodriguez who has replaced the pace that he used to have with a bit more physicality. Talking of physicality, they have the 6 foot 6 monster that is Wout Weghorst upfront with J-Rod, so whilst Burnley have been slightly more pleasing on the eye this season when attacking, don’t expect too much to change.  It will still be crosses into the mixer from wide areas, be it from the wingers or the full-backs. Consequently, we have to shut those crosses down which means pressing a bit higher up the pitch then we did against Arsenal on Saturday.  It’s a day for doing the basics.

The mood around Saints has of course got better as a result of the win against Arsenal at the weekend, though everyone should acknowledge that it wasn’t the most aesthetically pleasing win we have ever had. It did however take us to 39 points so we can go into this game with next to no pressure. The pressure is completely on the home side because this is getting near last chance saloon territory for them. It will be interesting to see whether Ralph reverts to a back four or goes for the three at the back model that got a clean sheet at the weekend. It needn’t be a defensive formation if the wingbacks and two of the midfield players commit to attacking and we get bodies around the lone striker.

Saints make a decent start in the unusual sunny Burnley weather with Perraud pulling out a big switch to the opposite side to KWP, who cuts into the area before blazing over the bar with the aid of a deflection.  It’s all Saints pressure for the first six or seven minutes and we win another corner on the right hand side which is delivered with outswing by JWP and Oriol Romeu rises and meets it 8 yards out with a free header and plants it wide. Bad miss it has to be said.

Burnley haven’t started very well and Taylor underhits a back pass which sets Broja away and via Elyounoussi, Armstrong’s shoots straight into a defender. We get the ball back across and Elyounoussi attempts a volley but plays an airshot.  One non-swear word you could use is “wasteful”.

Here come Burnley with their first attack. Rodriguez to McNeil and his left foot shot from the right is headed away by Lyanco. Burnley pick up the ball again and a couple of passes later they find Roberts in exactly the same position that McNeil has just had a shot from and he tries exactly the same shot but he gets it spot-on as he starts it outside the post and it curls into the top corner. Brilliant finish, absolutely shit defending.  You only send him inside if someone is going to close him down.

Our reaction to going behind to their first attack is to give up and now it’s all Burnley as they piss their way through our midfield with McNeil sliding a ball through to Weghorst in the inside right channel but he takes a touch too many and Fraser spreads himself to block it.

In a movie that starts with a horrific touch by Romeu to give the ball away, Burnley build down the right and side and we allow McNeil once again to cut in on his left foot and stand up a cross the back post, Weghorst heads down and there’s all sorts of carnage as Lyanco plays an air swipe and Weghorst smashes it goalwards again but Fraser continues his brilliant form and claws it out.

Forster has to make another brilliant save from a free header from a corner before Weghorst puts another free header onto the post whilst we all stand and watch. Honestly, how the fuck are we not two down already?  Normally you’d say “they’ll pay for missing those chances” but we all know that they won’t.

We do try to make the most of our luck with Broja having a shot which is blocked for a corner and Armstrongs delivery results in Pope giving us a corner on the other side.  It’s exactly the same as before as JWP puts in an out-swinger and Romeu meets it, this time even closer and more central and it slides off his head and goes wide again.  Easier to score than miss from there.

Right on half time, after making a mistake half way up the pitch, Valery gets back on Cornet and gives away a corner.  Over it comes, free header and Nathan Collins nods it down and into the net. Jack Cork is standing directly in front of Fraser so we are off to VAR.

“Hi Stockley Park, it’s Stuart Atwell – check the goal please”
“We know it's you Stuart, it's the only game on?”
“Saints are saying Cork is offside?”
“We’ll let me see…. Ok I’ve had a look”
“Is he in an offside position?”
“Yes he is”
Is he interfering with play?
“Yes he is”
“Is he in the keepers eye line?”
“Yes he is… but he has jumped out of the way at the last second”
“Has he touched the ball?”
“Erm, I’ve looked 4 times at a useless camera angle but we don’t have the right camera angle so can’t say for sure”
“There you go… GOAL.  You can always find a reason to give it if you try hard enough and stick with my on-field decision”.

Oh that is absolute bullshit. What’s the fucking point in moaning though – we’re getting nothing today anyway.

Half time and regardless of the why’s and wherefore’s of the second goal, we cannot argue with being two goals behind. We have been fucking dreadful.  Ralph has surely got to change something in the second half.  For me we desperately need to go back to the 4-2-2-2 formation so I would be taking off both Lyanco and Valery and bringing on Adams and Salisu.  All of the defenders have been fucking useless so far and this formation has seen us offering next to nothing up front.

Here come the teams and for fuck sake - unchanged. Why? for fuck’s sake.

You would assume that as the same players were still on the pitch, they would have learnt from the end of the first half but from the very first corner to Burnley, less than a minute after the game restarts, Tarkowski has a completely free header which he fortunately puts over the bar.

More history repeating as we allow crosses come into our box in open play as Roberts stands one up to the back post, Tarkowski heads it across and Forster, J-Rod and Cork all bundle in and the ball ends up in there. For fuck‘s sake. We are off to VAR again.

“Hi there guys it’s Stu – another goal I think”
“Ok Stu, we’re not having this one”
“Why not guys – we want goals”
“Well… it’s probably a foul on the keeper, Rodriguez has punched it to Cork, Cork is offside and he’s the one who scored”
“Are you sure… he didn’t touch the first one?”
“The last one probably hit him and this one has definitely hit him”
“Accidental perhaps?”
“No Stu and it doesn't matter... and the scoring pass has come via Rodriguez hand”
“I want to give it”
“You fucking can’t – move on”.

Ralph finally decides to make some changes with Elyounoussi and Armstrong being replaced by Redmond and Adams and the two substitutes combine straight away with Redmond picking out a good cross between the Burnley defenders which is met by Adams about 15 yards out but it’s no surprise to anybody that he drills the volley straight at the goalkeeper who pushes it over the bar.

We are finally picking up a bit of a steam and win a free-kick about 30 yards out with J-Rod wrestling Romeu to the ground.  It’s the wrong side for JWP but because we’ve been so shit in open play, he has to have a shot but Pope shovels it over the bar easily enough. There is another chance from the resulting corner as Redmond heads it back into the box and Adams has a split second in which to shoot but takes more than a split second which means that Taylor can get across and block the shot.

I start enjoying the game a bit more when I realise that we are in the 94^th minute and then the best bit when it finishes.

Ralph Talks to Everyone Who Was Shit

Wank. Absolute wank. Every time we have a chance to move into the top half of the table, these players and to a lesser extent this manager, prove they are not ready to do so. The attitude and mindset of the players reminded me very much of the game against Chelsea a couple of weeks ago when we didn’t do the basics that you need to do to win any football match. We didn’t do the basics here and therefore we lost to a much worse team than Chelsea are. We played pretty well for 10 minutes, then let a goal in and then there was absolutely no reaction and we were always going to lose from that point onwards. I feel sorry for the people who made the journey.

So many players out there today were shocking. Broja has clearly let it all go to his head and he just doesn’t put the effort in anymore.  Elyounoussi and Armstrong both tried but were completely ineffective. Romeu had one of those games where hardly any of his passes were accurate and he was largely bypassed. Perraud on the left looked like a fish up a tree and that’s before we even get to 3 defenders. Having played well against Arsenal, Lyanco was an absolute liability, seemingly totally freaked out by having to play get someone as big as Weghorst. It reminded me of Yoshida at his worst when he came up against Andy Carroll and he basically just shat himself. Yan Valery was ok when defending but when he had the ball he looked incredibly limited and Bednarek just looked soft. Again, the only one who really enhanced his reputation was Fraser Forster, who for the third game in a row has kept the score down but he can’t produce miracles every game. Maybe that’s it, maybe it’s because of his contract situation and he’s the only one that actually has something to play for at this point of the season,

I do not understand why Ralph went with three at the back against Burnley. There is the old argument of “never change a winning team” and I expect that he wanted to reward the 11 that got the result against Arsenal.   If that was the case then they threw it back in his face.  However, today was a completely different assignment to Arsenal and we needed a different team. With this starting 11 in the Arsenal game, we created absolutely nothing and exactly the same happened today which was absolutely no surprise. I’m also slightly mystified as why when we were two down, he persisted with three central defenders when we were still producing next to nothing going forward. To make no changes at half time was very strange. He mentioned in a pre-match interview that he wanted to give the players 15 minutes to sort it out but all that did was waste 15 minutes.

A good team and a positive manager set up to win this game, not to keep it tight and hope to nick it but once again, I’m more inclined to look at the performance of the players and wonder if it would’ve mattered in the slightest what the manager did because so many of them were on the beach. We hardly won a challenge at all, certainly didn’t win any headers in our own half. We did however play some lovely patterns and passing moves in areas of the pitch that don’t matter which today at least, just enabled Burnley to put 11 men behind the ball. We didn’t play with any pace but the bottom line is that we are a decent side when all 11 players are at it but as soon as any drop off, we are bang fucking average and we are not going to win any games against anyone in the Premier League.

Apart from Fraser Forster, the only positive from tonight is that it drops Everton right in the shit which is great to see. Despite the Burnley love-in on Sky, it has to be said that Saints really should’ve been 1-0 up in the first 10 minutes with Romeu missing the first of two pretty simple headers from corners. It’s a different game of the first one of those goes in but as we all know, the game is won and lost in the penalty areas and if you don’t defend yours and you miss chances in theirs, you’re not going to win many games. Apart from the Romeu miss, we only created one more decent chance when we went behind which gave Che Adams his usual chance to smash a ball straight the goalkeeper. He did more in his first five minutes on the pitch then Broja did in 90 however and Nathan Redmond showed up well relatively speaking, when he came on.

Not that it mattered in the slightest but there was some real mystifying shit from Stuart Atwell and the officials today. I really don’t see how the second goal is given.  There is a foul on JWP because Collins is using him as a step ladder to win the header and there was a VAR check to see if the ball hit the clearly offside Jack Cork who was standing directly in front of Fraser Forster. They didn’t have an angle to prove that it flicked off him but regardless of that, he had to jump out of the way of the ball so how can you say he wasn’t interfering with play. Absolutely fucking ridiculous that wasn’t disallowed. They are saying you can now stand in front of the goalkeeper in an offside position but as long as you jump out of the way at the last minute and the ball doesn’t hit you, it’s fine.

When we did put Burnley under a bit of pressure in the second half with crosses into the box, on two occasions their players went down with head injuries so despite Saints still having the ball, Atwell stopped the game and gave the freekick to Burnley. Then, the alleged head injuries cleared up so quickly enough that they didn’t need to get a trainer onto the pitch so the injured party didn’t have to leave the pitch. And we got moaned at for our energy drink breaks. Burnley didn’t need to waste time as we were never going to score. 

The game was done however once we let Roberts cut in and score the first goal. Good goal it has to be said but we had had good chances before that and failed to even test the goalkeeper. Burnley‘s first attack and it’s a goal and from that moment on we couldn’t be bothered really. Beach football.

Changes are needed for the game on Sunday at Brighton. Like today, we are facing another team who have hardly won a game at home all season and we have to treat this game as a winning opportunity and not go there with a negative mindset. Today was one of those fucking awful nothing performances, the like of which we are seeing a bit too often in the last couple of months. Villa, Newcastle, Watford, Chelsea and now Burnley. We do not want to add Brighton to that list. Up the fucking Saints.

Premier League Match 32 - Southampton 1 Arsenal 0

 

Love Story

After the shambles that was Chelsea at home last week, comes another big London club to St Mary‘s in the form of Arsenal. Until a couple of weeks ago Arsenal were looking the most likely team to win the 4th Place Trophy which is the be all and end all for the Super League clubs that are not Manchester City, Liverpool and Chelsea.  Why is the Super League relevant – because we can never have one of these big clubs missing out on the biggest European competition now can we?

Like I said, Arsenal we’re looking like a decent bet but the wheels seem to have come off with an away defeat at Palace and a home defeat by Brighton last week not going down too well with the locals, who are the most bipolar fan base you could possibly get, swinging from “Arteta out” to “Arteta is the second coming of Pep” and back to “Arteta out” within about three weeks. We have been on a shit run for longer however so Arsenal will certainly see this as a must win game to give themselves a chance of overhauling the team that now looks more likely to get the 4th Place Trophy. The amusing thing is that that team is Tottenham.

The current Arsenal have a pretty good starting 11 but there is a definite drop off when you go to the squad players and they will be doing that today.  A back four of Tomiyasu, White, Gabriel and Tierney has been pretty solid this season with Ramsdale in goal. However, both fullbacks are injured so that means places for Cedric the Twat and last week on the left was Granit Xhaka, so that weakened their centre of midfield, which was further weakened by the absence of Thomas Partey. The four most exciting players they have, compete for three places in the team and they are Odegaard, Saka, Smith-Rowe and Martinelli. Having binned off Aubameyang earlier on in the season for the crime of basically being Aubameyang, Arteta has been left with one striker this year and that is Lacazette who hasn’t scored for months but he does always score against us. Rumour has it though that he is injured so I expect to see Eddie Nketiah, who at the moment is looking like one of those youngsters at a big club that everyone raves about and overhypes on the back of their first couple of appearances and then really doesn’t amount to much and ends up not pulling up trees for a team in the bottom half.

There has been some honesty coming out of St Mary‘s this week with lots of focus on the fact that we just haven’t been at the races. The spotlight has certainly fallen on a few players who are out of form, mainly Mohammed Salisu and Armando Broja and I think there will be a bit of a shake up this afternoon. The barely concealed a message from Ralph was that both of these players have lost their focus having let rave reviews go to their head In the run of games that we had against the big clubs just before it all went to shit with the defeats to Newcastle and Watford. Personally, I would also add Oriol Romeu to the list of players who have markedly dropped their levels in the last few weeks.

Team news and it looks like 3 at the back but Salisu is not there so we’re looking at Bednarek, Lyanco and Valery.  Romain Perraud is also back and Broja appears to be up front on his own with Che on the bench.  Arsenal have the clown Cedric in the side and they’ve replaced Lacazette with Nketiah as widely forecasted.  I’m in the Chapel Arms as I learn the team and at that precise moment there is much cheering as Brighton scored in the last minute at Spurs – Arsenal fans.  They’re probably “Arteta is God” at the moment but let’s hope they’re not at the final whistle.

Three at the back immediately looks like a flat back five as we get pinned back by Arsenal, who build from our left to our right and Martinelli comes in off the right wing, onto his left foot and hammers a shot which Fraser gets a strong hand to and keeps out.

We begin to settle into the game and start knocking the ball about to keep possession.  It’s with Valery and he plays a horribly underhit pass to the Lyanco in the middle and Nketiah knocks it past our Brazilian-Serbian nutter and is away. He finds Martinelli on the right who puts a in low cross to Saka at the back post.  I have the words “oh fuck off” in my throat as Saka hits it right footed from about 6 yards and Fraser Forster takes off to pull off an unbelievable save.  Saka should score - all he has to do is keep it low but he’s given Fraser a chance and that is a ridiculous save.  “England’s No 1” go the Northam End and why not?

Bednarek has taken over from Salisu as the “slightly longer than average” throw-in merchant but it does produce our first decent chance as it is half cleared as far as Stuart Armstrong who hits it on the turn but straight Ramsdale who surprises everybody by just falling on the ball rather than jumping 15 foot in the air to tip it unnecessarily over the bar.

As the half goes on, it’s all Arsenal possession but not much threat to our goal, whilst we are not producing anything, struggling to put any passes together.  We don’t seem to trust our ability to pass through them so Broj is receiving a diet of service which is ranging from throat height to six foot over his head.  We do have a foray up the left hand side and Elyounoussi gets brought down on the left wing by clumsy-assed challenge by Ben White enabling JWP to line-up the free-kick. Over it comes and Broja’s goalbound flick deflects wide.

Over comes the corner, headed out and Perraud, in line with today’s brief being “don’t fuck up at all” just hooks it back over his own head. Time stands still for everybody except Elyounoussi, who keeps the ball in at the goal-line, knocks it across into an area and Bednarek is still up in the box and he swings his left foot at it and it flies, via Ramsdale’s glove, into the roof of the net. 1-0. Unexpected goal klaxon.

Now..we do not leave our own half for the rest of the game....

Stung into action and just before half-time, Arsenal win a free kick on the left hand side just outside the penalty area. Cedric is over it, undoubtedly to produce one of his phenomenal crosses that they gave him a four year contract for.  Up steps Arsenal’s free-kick specialist and with all the big guys up in the box he decides to smash it 15 foot up in the air and it flies over everybody and harmlessly out for a goal-kick and much ridicule. Phenomenal.

Half-time and this is strange.  We haven’t played any football in possession but we are somehow winning.  Arsenal haven’t really looked a threat since the ridiculous Forster save so all is good.  I can’t imagine they won’t create anything in the second half and we need to limit that by keeping the ball better.

However, as the second half starts it’s pretty obvious that Saints are going to sit back and try and shithouse this game 1-0. There is no pressing high to try and win the ball up the pitch and as soon as we lose it, we are dropping back into shape which is basically 5-4-40 yards-Armando. Arsenal are creating openings without looking particularly threatening with Nketiah flicking wide from a phenomenal Cedric cross and then Saka cutting across the top of the box from the right and curling wide of the far post with his left foot.

On the hour, Arteta has decided that he doesn’t need Cedric and his particular brand of phenomenal any more and takes him off and brings on Emile Smith Rowe.  I can see that Arteta is borrowing from the Ole Gunnar Solskjaer playbook and just lobbing on strikers in the hope that something happens. No tactics just lots of strikers. To prove the point, Nicolas Pepe comes on for the left back Tavarez.  The same Nicolas Pepe who less we forget, cost £72 million quid. He immediately gets involved hooking a Xhaka cross wide. It’s another chance but one that never really look like ending up as a goal.

They do get close a few minutes later though as Saka gets across in which causes a bit of panic and the ball drops to Smith Rowe to hit goalwards and it’s virtually behind Forster when he takes off and pushes it wide of the post in once again, quite brilliant fashion.

It’s now Arsenal against Forster with the excellent Odegaard picking a pass through to Saka and he drills it at The Wall at the near post and you ain’t fucking scoring from there mate.  In the carnage that follows the ball come back in and it’s cleared by Valery and eventually Odegaard picks up on the edge of the box and tries to catch Forster out of the near post but puts it wide.

Ralph makes two changes with Long on for Broja and Redmond on for Armstrong but there is still no support for the striker.  Long is now hurtling around on his own up front and Redmond is playing a very disciplined right midfield role and as we are obviously quite happy with our plan of shithousing til the final whistle.

Six minutes to go and Granit Xhaka takes time out from berating everyone and lines one up on the edge of the box which is blocked by JWP, who then tries to set Saints going on the break but Xhaka blocks it, probably with his hand and it drops down and Xhaka goes for the far corner but Fraser takes off again and pushes it round the post. Was probably going wide but you can’t leave those.

As we go past 90 minutes we actually have a goal threat as Elyounoussi once again gets trashed by the clumsy Ben White on the left hand corner of the penalty area.  JWP is always going to shoot, mainly because there is absolutely no one in the box and the rest of our team is in our own half but Ramsdale reads his effort at the near post and keeps it out. The next time Ramsdale has the ball, he is hunted down by Shane Long it’s the biggest cheer of the day for block of the clearance.  The End.

What a win that is. Fraser Forster will get all the headlines but there was a lot more to it than that. In an ideal world, Ralph does not want the team to play the way we played today as he wants us to press high at the pitch and win the ball in the opposition half but today it completely went against those principles as we dropped off and defended with a defensive line not far from the edge of our own penalty area.  The reward for going against what he normally believes in is that we got a clean sheet and three points.

Arteta couldn’t really handle it.  His post-match interview was bullshit at it’s finest.  “Anyone who saw the game would think Arsenal won the game”.  Did the big 1-0 to Southampton on the scoreboard not give the game away Mikel?  You don’t win many games with a zero next to your team at the final whistle.  There was a lack of personality about Arsenal and little cutting edge.  Nketiah was non-existent up front and Martinelli and Saka flitted in and out.  Odegaard played with the urgency required and Pepe was lively when he came on, as he should be for a player who cost £72 million.  What today proved to me was just how far Arsenal, Spurs and United are behind the other three.  The joke is that United will probably still get 4^th place this season and they’ve been shite all season. 

Anyway, fuck Arsenal and the other Super Leaguers.  We have to talk about Fraser Forster who was absolutely world-class today with a string of very good saves and two in particular that were ridiculous. The difference between the Fraser we have now and the one that lost all his confidence when Pellegrino was in charge is amazing. The change in goalkeeper coaching has obviously had a huge impact on his game and it does make you wonder what on earth Dave Watson and Kelvin Davis were doing back then. The main criticism of Fraser was that he never got off his line and whilst he didn’t really have to do that today because we were defending so deep, there’s been a massive improvement there. Today it was all about is sheer presence and agility. The save from Smith Rowe in the second half was all down to his foot movement and the save from Saka in the first half was all about agility and quick reaction.

What Happened Next?

The timeline of the goalkeeper situation at Saints seems to be bizarre.  At the start of the season, both first choice goalkeepers were out of contract at the end of the season. Alex McCarthy was picked as first choice and there were soon stories that he had signed a new contract. The club didn’t announce it though and he then loses form and then gets publicly called unprofessional by the manager after the Brighton game.  Fraser comes in and with a couple of exceptions, has been superb and talk starts of a new contract for him. Then there are McCarthy contract rumours again and certain information on websites that seems to prove that McCarthy has indeed been offered a new contract – still no announcement though.  We really don’t want to have both of these goalkeepers on “first choice goalkeeper” salaries on our books next season but it appears that the one we have chosen to offer the contract to, is no longer the one that we want.  

It’s not going to be a great day for fan reaction if Fraser Forster leaves at the end of the season and Alex McCarthy is our first-choice goalkeeper going forward.  It’s also not going to be a great day for the accountants if McCarthy has a whopping new contract for three years and is a back-up, either to Fraser or to a new incoming goalkeeper.  It’s also not going to be a good day for the accountants if we’ve offered McCarthy a contract and then we try and get out of it somehow.  To be continued…

Defensively, it was a major change today of course to go with a back three and the three chosen in the main did a great job.  Yan Valery again showed great promise in that position and aside from one mistake when he gifted the ball to Nketiah in the first half, had a very solid game, keeping Martinelli particularly quiet in the second-half. Jan Bednarek has been inconsistent at best this season but seem to revel in playing in a back three and also found time to get up the other end of the pitch and score the winner. It was interesting to hear him say afterwards that he has been trying to stay in the opposition penalty area for longer this season and that has so far seen him score 4 goals.

Then we have Lyanco, our latest cult hero. The guy is clearly an absolute fucking lunatic but his role is to defend and it’s clear that he absolutely loves defending. Though not the tallest, he has a tremendous spring to get off the ground and his infectious attitude is absolutely inspiring to those around him. Whether it’s fist pumping the crowd or congratulating every player around him for good bits of defending, he is the leader at the back that we have been lacking somewhat. He also has a bit of mongrel about him and is a bit of a shithouse and it’s great to see.  It’s all about character.  I don’t reckon there is any way that we would have lost 6-0 last week with him in the side.

I have a feeling that Ramadan played a part in Salisu not being selected today so be interesting to see if we stick with this back three going forward or whether Salisu comes back once the fast is over, probably at the expense of Valery.

At the end of the day the result is all that matters but we achieved it on the back of 26% possession which is clearly not sustainable.  All we needed to do today was not capitulate like last week and put in some type of performance that showed that we cared.  We did that and managed to win as a bonus. Basically, there was no desire to string passes together on the ground today and it was all about the shape without possession which meant that on numerous occasions, Broja was up front on his own had absolutely no support. The closest to him was supposed to be Elyounoussi and Armstrong but most of the time they were forming a midfield four with JWP and Romeu. We didn’t seem to trust ourselves to play through Arsenal but after the Chelsea game last week, who can blame us for being a bit more Dyche with our approach to the game.

Talking of Dyche, our next game is on Thursday night against Burnley, only Dyche won’t be there because he has ridiculously, been sacked by the new Burnley ownership who following their relegation this season, will oversee a plummet down the leagues and probable financial ruin. We have to back up the result today with performance that puts another nail in the coffin. Bring it on. Up the fucking Saints.

Premier League Match 31 - Southampton 0 Chelsea 6

 

Saints Defence and Midfield Line Up At the Start

Chelsea are the visitors to St Mary’s this afternoon as we try and build on the decent point that we got at Elland Road last time out. Chelsea come into this game on the back of two defeats at home, a 3-1 Defeat to Real Madrid which wasn’t that surprising but before that, they lost 4-1 to Brentford.  Is it a good time to be playing them? I doubt it.

Until this week Chelsea seem to have been completely unaffected on the pitch, to the fallout of Roman Abramovich being sanctioned and the club being put up for sale.  It looked for a moment like there was going to be serious problems at Stamford Bridge but the list of potential buyers looking to by the club for an eye watering £4 billion kind of means that nothing much will change as long as one of them goes through.  Who could have suspected that the Abramovich money was in any way dodgy.  It's a shock and no mistake.  Chelsea have had 20 years of success out of it and the club will be bought and bankrolled in the future by some serious players with some serious money.  I remember when Chelsea were up for sale for a quid, so they almost certainly going to have the last laugh and are going to be benefiting long into the future of the back of Roman Abramovich’s money.  It’s that detail that makes at least part of me wish it all comes crashing down, with Chelsea reverting to the mid-table 2nd level team I remember them being in the early 80s. Will anyone care enough to stop this sort of thing happening in the future? I very much doubt it.

Most of the Saints news this week has not centred on the current playing staff or the manager but on one of the club ambassadors and not just any ambassador. This ambassador who has been in the news with this week happens to be Matthew Le Tissier, perhaps Saints greatest ever player.

I am exactly the same age as Matt, which means I was privileged enough to watch his entire career from 1986 until 2002. He is a legend of the club and events of this week do not change that for me.  I’ve met him a few times over the years and he’s been nothing but a really decent bloke.  However...

Matt has stepped down as ambassador for Southampton FC because of an outcry caused by a tweet about Putin’s war In which he used a story about genocide in Ukraine to try and illustrate a point to not believe everything you read in the media. Saying not to believe everything you read in the media is fine on its own but when you use media reports of genocide that are widely corroborated by lots of sources, to illustrate your point, you are heading for trouble.

This isn’t an isolated incident either with him using other extreme examples in the past to rage against Covid reporting. There was one particular tweet relating to Ann Frank which was equally fucking ridiculous.  Now, everyone has a right to freedom of speech but it amazes me that someone who is media savvy, having worked in the media for the best part of 20 years, doesn’t think about how something it’s going to be received when you put it out there. If you think about him as a player, he didn’t compromise and did exactly what he wanted to do, probably to his detriment in terms of England caps – there was a certain stubbornness about his refusal to change at all.

Maybe, as in the same way as he didn’t care what Terry Venables, Glenn Hoddle or even Ian Branfoot thought, he doesn’t care how his tweets are received but then if he didn’t care, why has he deleted the tweets afterwards?  Everyone has a right to say what they want but you don’t have immunity from consequences, especially if you are a public figure.

Overall, it’s a great shame because in his role as ambassador, he has done some great work around the city of a charitable nature. His resignation from his post as ambassador this week was undoubtedly the best way for this to play out because the club didn’t have to get heavy-handed to get rid of him and he appears to have walked of his own volition. Having deleted both this weeks’ tweet and the Ann Frank one, you would hope that there won’t be any more of this kind of thing because ambassador or not, he is always going to be associated with Southampton FC and I can’t stand the thought of one of my footballing heroes descending to David Icke level ridicule.

Back to today and as I said, two defeats in a week will mean that we are up against a bit of a wounded animal today.  Armando Broja of course can’t play so Ralph names Adam Armstrong up front in what has become our ‘go to’ XI, 4-2-2-2 formation.  Chelsea have a few missing with Azpilicueta and Lukaku absent altogether but they do have Timo Werner, a striker who only scores when Ralph is in the stadium, either as his RB Leipzig manager or as an opposing manager.

We make an encouraging start with Rudiger giving us a corner from a 40 yard back pass in the first minute and Tino starts well against his former employers with a purposeful burst forward.  Chelsea’s first attack sees us all over the place as we allow Werner to basically walk to the edge of the box on the right hand side of the penalty area and he drills a shot across goal and it pings off the far post and goes out.

Another warning comes as Loftus-Cheek goes down the right hand side and easily gets a cross in, which Werner meets on the 6 yard line and manages to head onto the bar. Fucks sake... it’s funny because he’s shit but there’s no way he’s going to keep missing.  We are not heeding warnings and a few minutes later, Loftus-Cheek again gets down the right hand side and crosses it. Mason Mount has peeled off the back of JWP and Romeu and takes it on his chest before flicking it to the unmarked Alonso, who smashes into the net in the same way he smashes through zebra crossings with people on them. 1-0, 8 minutes, fuck sake.

We flicker briefly as Elyounoussi is brought down by Christensen and JWP’s free kick from wide left is missed by everyone and only misses the far post by a foot or so.  Five minutes later though and another cross into the box is met by KWP and the clearance finds Mount on the edge of the box, who takes a touch and drills it past the seven Saints players in front of him and past the unsighted Forster to make it 2-0.  This is absolutely fucking horrible and the game is probably over already.

The only reason it’s not completely dead is thanks to Fraser who makes a point blank stop from Werner after Alonso has got to the line with Livramento nowhere.  Now it’s time to really dig in and make sure we get to half time just the two goals behind but instead of that, having had an attack, JWP decides to try and head the ball back to Bednarek on the half-way line but instead, headed it over him and Werner is away and despite it being Werner and him still having 50 yards to run, I know this is 3-0.  This is exactly the sort of chance that Werner made his name scoring for Leipzig and he sprints away from Bednarek, goes round Forster and rolls into the net. Brilliant finish and an absolute fucking catastrophe from us.  21 minutes, 3-0 down.  Strong Leicester 9-0 vibes coming through.  Some people are leaving… can’t say I blame them.

We’re still not getting anywhere near the Chelsea players in the middle of the park.  Someone fucking rattle into someone, someone start a fight, someone fucking do something.  No, alright then.  Surely we can get to half-time just 3-0 down. Oh no, Salisu decides to try and prove that he is the second coming of Virgil Van Dijk but unfortunately, he is the version of Virgil that used to make mistakes in the Scottish league and he tries to dribble past Werner and Havertz before losing the ball as he falls over. Werner takes it on , works space for himself and somehow manages to hit the post yet again but the ball drops straight to Havertz to steer into the empty net. Absolutely fucking pathetic.  Ralph has had enough and hooks Romeu and replaces him with Yan Valery so we go to the 3 at the back we should have had from the start.  The change means Stuart Armstrong dropping in next to JWP and maybe Elyounoussi, who would have been my pick to take off, will contribute something.  Valery’s first contribution is to stop Salisu and Bednarek arguing with eachother over who had been the most shit so far.

We do manage to get to half time just the four goals adrift, thanks to two decent Fraser saves to deny Havertz and Mount and another brilliant save from Fraser to stop Salisu putting through his own goal.  There’s another change with Adam Armstrong substituted and replaced with Diallo for 45 minutes of damage limitation.  Roman Abramovich chants from the Chelsea fans – classless bunch as always.

At the start of the second-half I am hoping that Saints put in a better effort and I’m also hoping that Chelsea‘s mind turns towards their game with Real Madrid on Wednesday but none of these things seem to be happening as Kante strolls straight through the middle of our team totally unbothered by any of our central midfielders and has a free shot from the penalty spot which Forster claws away but unfortunately it drops straight to Werner and even he can’t miss that. 5-0. Fuck off.

We then actually have an attack as KWP gets down the left and sprints away from Loftus-Cheek before playing in a wonderful ball in with the outside of his right foot which is met by Che Adams about 10 yards out but in typical Che fashion, he manages to drill it straight at the goalkeeper with no defender anywhere near.  No, we’re not even getting a consolation goal today.

Cometh the hour, cometh another Chelsea goal as Pulisic smashes in a shot at point blank range, which is brilliantly saved by Forster and he wins the follow-up tackle against Werner and he no doubt hoped he would be bailed out by defender but there are none anywhere as Mason Mount has another tap in. Skate bastard.  Six fucking nil.

Where's Tino?

At this point, Chelsea called it off and jogged through it.  They still kept the ball and we were still shit but mercifully there were no more goals.  Tino managed to achieve what I assume was his aim in the second half and get taken off and Will Smallbone had a bit of a run as we reverted to a kind of 4-4-2 for the last 20 minutes.  Is it over yet?  Kevin Friend was still a dickhead but we can hardly blame him now can we.

Well that was one of the most tedious and unenjoyable 90 minutes I can remember sitting through. There are certain minimum requirements that you need to win any football match regardless of who the opposition are. You have to work hard, you have to track runners, you have to win challenges against your direct opponent and you have to have some sort of belief. We did none of those today and I found myself at various points in the game casting my mind back to the Leicester City 9-0 defeat.  In the first 10 minutes of that game you could tell we were going to get absolutely battered and that was before Leicester even scored. After an opening flurry today when it looked like we were going to go toe to toe with them, Werner missed the first of two glorious chances to put Chelsea ahead and from that moment on it was always likely to turn out the way that it did. The fact that Chelsea have got a two-goal deficit to make up on Real Madrid on Wednesday is the only reason why it didn’t end up a similar scoreline or worse.

Where to start…Our entire starting midfield was absolute dog shit defensively from the first whistle. Four fucking training cones would’ve got closer to the Chelsea players. No one tracked runners and they played as four spaced out individuals. I don’t mean spaced out as in on drugs but they might as well have been. Chelsea just cut through us at will. In addition to the midfield not doing any work, Mohammed Salisu had an absolute nightmare at the back, culminating with trying to take on two players on the edge of our box and losing the ball for fourth goal. Tino Livramento started well and had a couple of good attacks in the first minute or so but then he just jogged about, half arsed, putting in no effort on recovery runs until he was eventually substituted.  KWP put in a shift at left back and was responsible for creating our only decent chance when his cross was battered at the goalkeeper in the usual fashion by Che Adams.  He will however feel he could have done a bit better with the first two Chelsea goals, even though he was given no help down his side by Elyounoussi.  Bednarek wasn’t too bad by comparison to others around him (low bar) and can’t have been helped by playing in between two defenders who may as well not have been there and in Tino’s case, quite often wasn’t.

Of our midfield, JWP had quite possibly his worst game for a couple of seasons, allowing Mason Mount to run off of him on numerous occasions and Oriol Romeu was substituted after half an hour which seemed strange on the face of it seeing as he’s our main defensive midfielder but maybe is not so surprising when you consider that he wasn’t actually doing anything and we were already 4-0 down.  There also seemed to be no communication between the centre backs and central midfielders as to who should pick up who.

Elyounoussi and Armstrong were both complete shite. At least Armstrong had some moments going forward with the ball but the overall contribution from those two was absolutely negligible. Adam Armstrong actually did alright in the first half given the service he was given and was unlucky to be sacrificed at half-time when Ralph brought on Diallo to try and help with the damage limitation. Behind it all, Fraser Forster had a superb game, making at least five outstanding saves and generally keeping the score down whilst being given next to no help by those in front of him.

Chelsea were good, I mean really good. It's amazing what 20 years of Russian money can do. Kovacic and Kante absolutely ran the midfield and Kai Havertz up front was virtually unplayable. He certainly seemed to be unmarkable and we seemed to have no plan to cater for his movement across the front line. We let Timo fucking Werner score twice and if he was any good he would’ve scored five. I can’t work out what’s the biggest insult from today, Werner scoring twice or skate bastard Mason Mount doing likewise.

As for Ralph, well I don’t know why on earth he didn’t go with three at the back from the start because that formation has worked against Chelsea before and though it was a pretty low bar, we did actually look better when Valery came on and we more or less matched up Chelsea‘s formation. Personally, with the listless and gutless approach that most of the players had out there today, it wouldn’t have mattered what formation we picked. Why were the players like that? Is it because we have nothing much to play for this season? The higher we finish, the more money we have and the more of them get replaced. Maybe that’s it.

In short, regardless of how good the opposition were, that performance was absolutely unacceptable and I hope the useless fuckers have to sit through a full debrief of the whole 90 minutes tomorrow. Looking back it now seems that the defeats against Newcastle and Watford in games that should’ve been our springboard to finish relatively comfortably in the top 10, have been the signal for our season to completely collapse and for us to finish 15th or 16th. One thing for sure is that we cannot play like that for the rest of the season, starting with next Saturday‘s home game against Arsenal who are faltering somewhat in their chase for the top four. They will certainly be motivated next week and we have to be the same against a team who we generally struggle to get anything out of.  Right now though, I would just settle for a wholehearted hundred percent performance and not the plate of half arsed dog shit that we served up today.