Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Premier League Match 28 - Southampton 0 Bournemouth 0


That's not Going In Is It?

Which way is it to St Mary's? I'm asking because we haven't been there for months.

It's actually eight weeks since we lost our home to West Ham and since then we've had just three away games and a trip to Wembley.  Today it's Bournemouth at home who look like they were free-falling into relegation until the last three games when they picked up two wins and a draw which puts them level on points with us, although having played two games more. I've gone through phases of liking and disliking Eddie Howe but at the moment, you have to say that he's worked a bit of a miracle to keep that squad of players away from a relegation struggle. They signed a load of players in the summer but they've nearly all not stepped up to the mark and it's taken reverting to what was virtually the team that got them promoted to get them these last few results.

The Derby question. Yawn. I want to win this game no more or no less than any game against the mid table side that we should win. The only extra, if you like, is that their fans will be unbearable if they manage to leave Saint Mary's with three points.

Season ticket prices, along with changes of kit get the gums flapping and it’s the former that has been announced for the 2017/18 season.  The bottom line is that mine has stayed the same so I’m happy.  It’s never going to go down so if I was annoyed, all I’d be annoyed about is new season ticket holders paying the same as me.  I can see that it’s just a tactic to encourage ‘new’ season ticket sales and it’s on the back of a season where having a season ticket has been a huge advantage for getting tickets for certain high profile games..  Maybe it’s linked to the mooted takeover and any potential new investors wanting to know exactly how big the fan base can be.

To today and it’s like summer, walking across the Itchen Bridge with that strange yellow thing that I don’t recognize in the sky.  It occurs to me that my old man, who went on holiday and missed the Cup Final, has not seen Manolo Gabbiadini play as yet and of course, he isn’t seeing him play today either.  As it turns out, Claude has pinned his hopes on J-Rod re-enacting what he achieved at the Dean Court Vitality Subbuteo Ground and has gone for him ahead of Shane Long.  Despite media speculation that the international break with lots of players being all over the world, would give Martin Caceres his debut, we once again have the Maya & Jack show at centre back and the rest of the side picks itself.  On paper, Bournemouth look really Championship.  Their two ‘name’ players are/were both on loan, Nathan Ake and Jack Wilshere but one’s gone back to Chelsea and the other is on the bench.  When Howe woke up to the fact that he really needed to win some games, he decided that Wilshere wasn’t the man he needed.  I doubt that when he signed on a season long loan from Arsenal, that Wilshere thought he’d be dropped to the bench when the going got tough and have to watch Andrew Surman and Dan Gosling play in his position.  Artur Boruc is of course in goal – I liked him.  The first proper keeper we had in the Premier League this time around.

Away we go and Bournemouth immediately have 11 behind the ball but oddly, they don’t look solid at all.  It’s almost like they’re just waiting for us to score.  A header forward is picked up by Tadic and he suddenly has loads of space as the defenders back off and it’s on his left foot from the edge of the box and miles wide.  No excuse for not working the keeper there.

It’s Tadic again with the next chance as J-Rod gets up well to head down and this time the Serb screws a right footed shot across the goal from a tight angle.  We look like we’re going to score but at the same time, there’s not too much to get excited about – we work it out from the back, Tadic plays a great ball to Bertrand but as soon as he crosses it low, J-Rod is flagged offside and there is no excitement at all as his first effort it saved and he walks in the rebound.  We’ve had a few dodgy offside calls recently but this one is spot on.  J-Rod has another very optimistic effort which at latest is on target from out wide on the left but already there’s a lack of cutting edge and almost a lack of intent.  Redmond is looking decent when he gets it and Smith at right back looks terrified every time he does so maybe there’s an opportunity there.

Bournemouth first show when JWP lets a ball roll under his foot on the right and King attempts to break but JWP clearly hauls him back.  It’s a booking clear as day but Fat Boy Moss must have had part of his fat face obscuring his vision so it’s just a free kick.  They win a corner from it and we nearly concede as it drops in the box and Surman goes for it with Forster who comes launching out and the ball is eventually smashed off the line by Steve Davis.

Bournemouth are then guilty of fannying around in defence and Cedric wins it high up the pitch, exchanges passes with JWP and pulls it back to Tadic who again is on the edge of the box, again it’s on his left foot and again he misses, this time clipping the outside of the post with Boruc nowhere.  Again we have another little flurry of chances with Yoshida getting up all alone at a corner and flicking an admittedly difficult header wide and then Tadic lofting a superb ball in front of J-Rod and the rusty one hit an excellent volley which Boruc took off to tip over the bar.  Half time and 0-0.  Christ they are shite but predictable as you like, we can’t score.

Harry Arter is on for Surman who never recovered from the Fraser clattering which means that Jack Wilshere is 4th choice in midfield for Bournemouth.  The first chance of the second half is down to our soft centre as a routine straight high ball is not delt with by Yoshida and he manages to get knocked over and manshamed by King who advances, draws Stephens who is the last defender and slips it across to Afobe who just has Forster to beat but with a shite touch and a crap poked shot wide, we get away with it.

There’s not a lot happening until Redmond decides to let fly from range and it’s straight at Boruc but seriously travelling so all the keeper can do is block it straight out and it eventually falls to JWP who places it wide of a gaping goal.  Everyone went ‘unlucky’ but like Tadic in the first hlf, he has to hit the target from there.   Claude rolls the dice and on comes Boufal for JWP and Shane Long for J-Rod who may as well have not been there since half time.

With basically four forwards on the pitch we look very open all of a sudden but Boufal produces a bit of magic to beat three players in a tight space before Ryan Fraser just bundles him out of play with no attempt to play the ball.  It’s not a penalty but surely that’s obstruction.  Thinking about it – you don’t see obstructions given any more, especially in the penalty area.  We have another glorious chance as Tadic again plays a great ball to put Long through on the left and he dinks it over Boruc and wide.  Great idea, shite execution and again – he should have done better.

Wilshere is on for King who has been woeful and Bournemouth immediately look better in their 4-4-1-1 formation and put us under pressure.  When you put our defence under pressure then all sorts of shit happens and Yoshida ruins a great tackle by following it up with a shite clearance and Smith drills one along the ground, off the post and there’s an almighty scramble with Forster again spreading himself well to shut the lights out on it.

With 10 to go and Bournemouth now dominating the game as we dropped deeper for some reason, Wilshere tries to thread the ball through, Yoshida get a touch and diverts it towards Ryan Fraser and the cheating little cunt gets the slightest touch from Bertrand and throws himself and Fatty Moss takes it on the word of the linesman because he’s not up with play himself.  Penalty.  Fuck off!  No one seems to want to take it and up steps Arter and smashes it at a passing plane.  What a load of shit!!! He’s looking at the penalty spot and it is the same one that Harry Kane ballooned one from but when they show the replay on the big screen, it looks like he’s just slipped because he was trying to welt it.

I feel like we’re going to win 1-0 now because it would be funny but there’s no logic to this.  It’s still all Bournemouth and Claude decides to take Tadic off and replace him with McQueen to I assume, shore things up on our left.  Surely it would have been better to put Hojbjerg or Clasie on to mark Wilshere. Anyway, we’re still too deep and backing off as Arter takes aim to try and make up for his shit penalty but Forster gets across well to pull off a decent save.  Get me to the end of the game for fucks sake.  92,93… thank fuck that’s over.

What a strange game that was. We really should have won it but at the end we were very very lucky to go away with a point. There seems to be a train of thought about this game that Bournemouth bossed the second half but in fact, they bossed the last 20 minutes and people have very short memories. For the first 70 minutes, Bournemouth were absolutely dreadful other than that they hadn't letting a goal. The midfield created absolutely nothing, often hitting any attempt to travel straight out of play and the defence looked like it was ready to crack at any moment. The fact that it didn't was down to some decent goalkeeping by Boruc and some blunt stagnant attacking play from us.  Overall though, it’s 0-0 becauise neither team could finish a fucking dinner.

It came as no surprise to me that without Gabbiadini, we struggled to score a goal or look in any way fluent going forward. We couldn't score before he signed and we can't score when he is missing. J-Rod looked a bit of a threat and did some good things that he was falling into that Shane Long the trap of being offside all the time and also if there was any physical challenge to be won, he didn't win it. He just didn't seem to react if ever there was a 50-50 ball that he might of won and it was usually Francis who got  his foot on the ball and cleared it.  I never thought much Francis as a player but he was very good today. It would've been a different story if he'd had to cope with Gabbiadini's movement. Howe’s game plan was clearly to soak up as much as possible and then try and nick it at the end and to be honest they should've done. If we are concerned about our strikers not being very good, then Bournemouth have Afobe. Everyone is going to talk about Arter’s penalty at the moon but Afobe’s miss was worse in my opinion.

Claude said afterwards that he knew our players would be tired after international week. All I can say is that Martin Caceres must be terrible in training because Yoshida has been halfway round the world playing for Japan and he still got the nod to start today. I don't like it go on about them but our two centre backs are a disaster. How the fuck we got a clean sheet today is one of the great unexplained mysteries of football. Jack Stephens is great on the ground. When the ball is on the deck he plays it really really well, he wins his tackles and he looks like a good player. When the ball is in the air however… fucking hell.  I have never seen a centre half in my entire life who wins less. If there is any sort of challenge from the centre forward then Stephens just does not win the header and the ball just plops down and it's in the lap of the gods as to who picks it up.  This was particularly the problem in the last 20 when we retreated to the edge of our own box.  Claude had a shocker today with the subs – Redmond had faded out of the game so it should have been him coming off for Boufal.  Removing JWP seemed to turn it all to shit.  The McQueen sub was odd too as mentioned earlier.

It will be reported that Arter’s penalty miss was totally down to the pitch given way. Bullshit. The way he ran up to the ball was ridiculous he was obviously going to try and belt the living shit out of the ball and his standing foot was always likely to give way as he planted it too far from the ball. He is about their eighth choice penalty taker so he obviously didn't have the faintest idea about what he was going to do so he just resorted to the tried and trusted belting the shit out of it.  It was bloody funny though and a measure of justice for the fact that Ryan Fraser just threw himself when he got the slightest tug from Ryan Bertrand. The penalty was awarded by John Moss who is the personification of ‘you’re not fit to referee’. He is not fit, he can't keep up with play and his decision-making is absolutely baffling. Corners given as goal kicks, players clearly pulling another one back is not given a yellow card and he is exactly the sort of referee you don't want against Bournemouth who are a very cynical side, committing fouls in your half to stop breakaways at every opportunity.  Having said that, how JWP didn't get a booking for grabbing Pugh by both shoulders shows the referee is not biased, just completely incompetent.

In amongst it all there were some decent performances from us with Fraser Forster having a decent game.  He actually came off his line a couple of times and whilst not everything was clean, he did what he had to do and it was a decent save from Arter at the end.  Oriol Romeu was once more, a machine in the middle f the park and he had to be in the last twenty in particular as everyone else went missing.  We were blunt up front with neith J-Rod or Long looking like Premier League strikers and Bournemouth defending deep and in numbers meant not much space for Tadic, Redmond and JWP.  Redmond started the game like he was going to tear Smith a new arsehole but then faded as the second half progressed.  Steve Davis had a mixed match as well – excellent when we’re going forward and on top but he seemed to struggle once we were on the back foot.

So, having not had a home game for eight weeks, we have course got another one within four days . Crystal Palace are at next at home where we will get to see a centre forward who is really good in the air playing against Yoshida and Stephens. Not only that, they are coming to us on the back of a 2-1 win away at champions elect Chelsea. Hopefully they will be completely knackered and put on an ‘after the Lord Mayor show’ performance but Fat Sam has now masterminded the winning of their last four games so we are going to have to be considerably better than today to get anything out of it.

Anyway, has anyone found the ball?





 Cheat Does Not Prosper

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