EFL Championship Match 40 - Southampton 2 Coventry City 1

Che Wants the Ball, Cov Players Do Not

In hindsight, the game where we played Coventry away should’ve told us a lot about the end of the season we were going to have. It was in the middle of the unbeaten run and we went there to play a Coventry team that weren’t in the best of form and we were terrible and eventually escaped with a point when we should’ve won comfortably. Ultimately, it was two points dropped.

The Coventry of today are a lot better than what they were back then. Ellis Sims had not scored any goals at that point of the season but in the last few weeks he has been on fire, playing a massive role in firing Coventry to the FA Cup semi-final that they have against Manchester United on Saturday. Hopefully Sims and a few of the others, will have one eye on that game tonight. I somehow doubt that Mark Robins will allow that to be the case though because they are currently seventh in the championship, one place of the playoffs and need to close down on Norwich who are somehow sixth, despite being the most negative, fucking boring team out there. No, I still haven’t forgiven or forgotten the back ten they played with against us at Carrow Road.

All eyes will be on the team selection today and whether Russell Martin will persevere with the Jack Stephens at left back-ish thing and judging by the way he has doubled down on it in the press conferences this week, we will certainly have that again.

But as it turns out, we don’t with Bednarek dropping out of the team and a normal looking back four of Bree, Stephens, THB and KWP with the only question being which side the full- backs will play on. Both Aribo and Smallbone make the cut into midfield and Brooks wins the winger tombola for today.  Nothing against Smallbone but he’s been out of the side the past two matches and has done nothing in his sub appearances to warrant a recall, but he’s in because I expect, Rothwell was so shit against Blackburn.  Having 28 touches in an hour, in a possession-based side, when you are a central midfielder?  What?  Those stats were padded by taking a few corners as well.

Away we go and the referee James Linington sets out his stall early by booking the Coventry right back Latibeaudiere very quickly for pulling back Adam Armstrong and then manages to not book Bree for exactly the same thing on the other side of the pitch a few minutes later. Rather strange.

Shite Decision but So Worth It

Saints start popping the ball about and it’s all looking good until it goes to David Brooks who takes a horrible touch and presents it to Coventry and they go straight down or left with van Ewick who knocks into the box for the overlapping Latibeaudiere and under the softest of challenges from Flynn Downes, he hits the deck and the fucker gives a penalty. That is absolute bullshit on first look but you’ve gotta take the rough with the smooth as a prize for not having fucking VAR ruining every game and even though it looks like for a second that the linesman, who is ideally placed, is going to have a say about whether it was a foul or not, the penalty stands and up steps Haji Wright.  He is taking absolutely fucking ages and the referee has already blown his whistle and the ref eventually starts walking towards him and I think we’re going to get the first ever booking for time wasting when taking a penalty in the 10th minute.  Anyway, with that Wright has decided that he’s had enough of everyone looking at him wondering what the fuck he’s doing and decides to start his run up.   Oh look, he’s doing the wanker stomp with his little stutter steps and he slips and balloons the ball upwards and it bounces off the bar and out. Haaaaaa, wanker!

Joe Aribo has made a storming start of the game, combining well with KWP on the left and he picks up the ball and drives across the penalty area before the ball squirts free to Adam Armstrong who goes down on the challenge but the referee is not interested in that one even though the full-back has clearly had a bit of a pull and it’s more of a penalty than the one Coventry got given.

Though more restricted than in his Man City-esque role, Stephens dives forward to half-way and finds KWP in front of him near the edge of the area and he takes a touch to get it out of his feet and then one more to knock it infield before lashing it with his right foot and it takes a big deflection of someone that flies into the net. Fucking get in. Everyone is appealing -  Coventry are appealing for handball, KWP is celebrating his goal and Che Adams is running off to the corner because the ball has deflected off him and bearing in mind the Adam Armstrong fringe goal from the opening day of the season, I assume he is going to be given that.

His goal or not, Che is now up on confidence and another Aribo inspired move sees Adams take aim from 25 yards and this time it flies narrowly over the bar via a deflection.  Also confident is Big Joe, who then beats three players without moving moving before finding Adams running towards the byline on the left.  He tries to pick out Smallbone but it runs to Bree, whose shot is so bad it goes straight back to Che and even though he finds Smallbone this time and he puts it in the net, the flag is going up against Adams and seeing that he’s right on the goal line, it’s hard to imagine that it wasn’t offside.

Coventry aren’t getting anywhere near us as THB splits the lines with a perfect ball through to Brooks and he has to square at to Adam Armstrong but instead of that he takes aim with his right foot and the keeper pushes it past the post easily enough. No matter though as in comes the corner from Bree, headed down by THB and after a right bit of flappage by the keeper and no defender wanting it, Adams manages to bundle it into the net from 6 inches. 2-0, get in.

Che Celebrates His Second Goal, Perhaps

We are the better side for the rest the first half but can’t create a third goal and the only alarm at our end is a horrible dive by van Ewick which gets him a volley of finish Cornish abuse from Jack Stephens.  I doubt he needed a translator to understand the gist as “get up you cheating fucker” is pretty universal.

The second half starts With an amusing incident as van Ewick, goes in late on Baz, who picks the ball up and he crashes into the keeper and hits the deck.  Everyone has a lot of sympathy for him when after a couple of minutes, it become apparent that he isn’t getting up and so off he goes to be replaced by Tavares.  Off you go you embarrassing little twat.

A decent start for us again with a massive crossfield ball from THB out to Adam Armstrong, who cuts in before floating one towards the back post, which Collins helps on its way.  Arma has another decent chance as Smallbone finds him on the left but having made room, he pulls out the scuffer and straight at Collins.

Smallbone is having a good game with the ball and it has to be three as he combines with Brooks and Bree to tee up Che, but his effort hits Collins and bounces out.  Che manages to set up Brooks but his effort is placed casually off target when he should have leathered it.

That’s Brooks last contribution and he’s off to be replaced by Wee Man but here come Coventry with substitute Tavares on the right, cutting in and seeing his shot deflected by KWP and landing on the roof of the net. It’s all Coventry all of a sudden now with the ball worked out wide and Tavares slings in and Bidwell is right at the back post completely unmarked and scores easily. He’s run off the back of Adam Armstrong and James Bree has not reacted whatsoever in exactly the same way that he didn’t react to the ball being put over his head against Ipswich.  Bollocks.

Probably as punishment, Arma is off to be replaced with not Edozie or Sulemana… but Sekou Mara.  What the actual? Saints now have a job on their hands and Aribo does well to head down to Adams, who holds off the defender like a player of his size and strength should be able to do, and gets a shot in but straight at the keeper from a difficult angle.

More subs and it’s a triple with Stu Armstrong, Rothwell and Charles on for Aribo, Smallbone and Adams.  All three have been decent in their way but the first two have been severely blowing for the past ten minutes and Smallbone in particular was running in treacle when attempting to get back from 40 yards ahead of the ball. We end up with a rather bizarre tactical switch with Mara staying on the right hand side and Stuart Armstrong playing at centre forward.

Ellis Sims has not been the expected threat at all but turns up on the left hand side and it’s the first time I’ve really seen him all game but he cuts inside Captain Jack and drills it straight at Baz  Coventry are looking slightly more dangerous side as the extra minutes tick away and Wright repeats what Sims had just done, cutting in from the left and crossing it straight into Baz’ midriff. It’s always a relief when Baz catches one but even he would’ve struggled not to save that.  The End.

Well we got there in the end. The second half in particular wasn’t pretty but we did just enough in the first half to get over the line.  In truth, apart from their goal, Coventry didn’t forced Baz into any sort of meaningful save so looking back, it was actually quite comfortable.  Sure didn’t feel like that at the time though but the inevitable equaliser didn’t happen this time.

Coventry, like the first game against this season, didn’t look that great. The great Ellis Sims revival that has been gathering place since Christmas turned out to be nothing. Big donkey basically he doesn’t have much of a first touch and it’s just a big unit.  Coventry should have a course taken the lead in the first half with the penalty , which on later viewing, was as soft as I thought at the time. One thing I’ve noticed about referees in the Championship is that they don’t tend to give penalties unless they’re obvious. This wasn’t obvious.  Anyway, it was worth it to see Haji Wright make a tit of himself. Twat.

Saints took over for the rest of the first half and then the KWP / Adams goal happened.  Some debate over who will get the goal but we had a stroke of luck because it came off of Che’s arm.  The second was down to some shocking Coventry defending and goalkeeping at the corner.  No one wanted the ball as much as Che did basically.  We should’ve scored more in the first half and at the start of the second half but Armstrong and Brooks contrived to butcher opportunities that we should’ve done better with.

Once more we stepped off gas a little bit in the middle of the second half and Coventry scored a very easy goal.  Adam Armstrong let his man go and stick ball in the net unopposed but Bree didn’t help either. Having been done twice in the Ipswich game by drifting infield and letting the ball sail over his head, it was disappointing to see him marking no one and getting done again and the sad thing is, after having a few good games before Christmas he is now looking a little bit more like the liability he was last season and at the start of this.  He does some good things but you just can’t be that unaware of what’s behind you.

Check Your Shoulder Breezy

The first hour of the game was dominated by Joe Aribo it was absolutely superb in midfield. So strong and deceptive and I would imagine, a complete nightmare to play against. His partnership with Smallbone in midfield is not ideal because neither of them are particularly quick at getting around the park, to put it politely, but out of the two, Joe has a much higher ceiling and will only get better the more he plays.  He did die on his arse on about 70 minutes and he needs to get his fitness levels up to enable him to pay the full 90.

There were some strange substitutions today.  Mara gave another baffling performance on the wing, basically just strolling about but even he must have been confused at watching Stuart Armstrong trying to play as a striker for probably the first time in his life.  Not an experiment I'm wanting to be repeated.

So, back to winning ways and out of habit, we all had a look at how Leeds and Leicester got on with a draw and a defeat coming their way respectively. (Ipswich only drew at home to Watford the night after).  This does two things in that it just leaves that little bit of hope and it can also make you very angry about the points we’ve pissed away in the last few weeks.

Nothing can be done about that now though and all we can do is turn up on Saturday and support the lads against Watford. Up the fucking Saints.

EFL Championship Match 21 - Coventry 1 Southampton 1

 

Who's This Goalscoring Winger and Where's He Been?

I always get in a bit of a time warp when I think about Coventry City.  They were the team along with ourselves that for years, defied the odds at the bottom of the Premier League in the 90s and always stayed up, until one day of course, we didn’t.  Both teams of course went on the down to League 1 journey for various reasons.  Saints of course found their way back to the top flight where we stayed for 11 years but Coventry haven’t and at various have been playing in borrowed stadiums and generally having an ownership nightmare with the infamous SISU (remember them?).  Our most memorable relatively recent game against them was the game that sealed our promotion at the end of the 2011/12 season when we won 4-0 at St Mary’s. Sir Rickie being carried from the pitch by the supporters is the enduring image of the day.

Coventry Memories

The Coventry of today are managed by Mark Robins, who is roughly 6 years into the job which is a level of longevity that you don’t often get at Championship and League 1 level. As a rule, he has them playing decent football and having seen them play Leicester on the first day of the season and being very unlucky to lose, I expect them to be slightly higher in the table than they are.  As it stands, they are in the big middle bracket of teams who will have one eye on the playoff places and who won’t be anywhere near the relegation shake up at the end of the season.

Russell Martin has been a little bit cryptic in his press conference for this game is suggesting that a player who plays regularly will be left out so everyone is guessing who that might be. My money is on either Stuart Armstrong or Charlie Alcaraz. Maybe though, there’s a shake up coming in the defence with Jack Stephens being fit again though I would severely hope that is not the case because it’s not the defence that’s been our problem recently.
 
It’s also been a bit of noise this week about Mason Holgate, who may be returning to Everton who have the option to recall him. Whilst I think it would be sensible from our point of view to keep him here, you could understand Everton being slightly bothered about his lack of minutes and maybe the player himself would like to go back and fight for his place there as opposed to here. With Jack Stephens being fit again, he has definitely dropped a place down the pecking order through no fault of his own, so I couldn’t blame him if he wanted to go back to Everton or go out on-loan somewhere else.

When the team news landed, it saw changes in midfield but it wasn’t Flynn Downes coming back unfortunately.   A midfield three of Shea Charles, Will Smallbone and one of Joe Aribo and Stuart Armstrong seems somewhat lacking in pace., containing as it does, two players who don’t run much. Alcaraz got left out but there was no place for either Ryan Fraser or Sam Edozie, leaving the whole of the front six looking somewhat pedestrian.  It seems a bit odd as one of Russell Martin’s pre-game soundbites was for the forward players to basically make things happen.

The game started and immediately settled into what you would expect to be the pattern, with Saints having the vast majority of the possession with Aribo seemingly stationed on the left wing.  The first time we stretched the Coventry back line was KWP beating players down the right but nothing came of that as the ball ricochets off Stuart Armstrong and out.

A good tackle in the Coventry half by Smallbone sends Aribo away down the left and his first time cross bounces off one of Che’s Trampolino boots though Shea Charles struck the loose ball into the net, he had clearly kicked through a Coventry player in order to win it, so no surprise that it was disallowed.

When Coventry finally attack it gives us another chance to win the ball and we have a three on three break with Stuart Armstrong finding Adam Armstrong out on the right and he cuts inside and smashes it straight at the goalkeeper.  It’s the kind of three on three break that every team in the world practices in training, but we’ve bollocksed it.

There is minor excitement after Aribo wins a corner and we go all ‘training ground set piece’ and it’s quite a nice move involving Manning and Stuart Armstrong who feeds the ball into Adam Armstrong and he smashes it goalwards but it’s well blocked by a Coventry defender.

Che then slides are very good ball in between the defenders for Adam Armstrong who has two choices, either take it first time or fuck it up and he chooses the latter, by taking a touch and getting shoved off the ball.  You can sit on the ground appealing all you like but that’s
never going to be a penalty in a million years.

Coventry‘s first real pressure on our goal comes after a corner has been headed out and they work it back in on our left and well inside the penalty area, Smallbone goes sliding in and makes little or no contact with the ball and he’s very, very fortunate that the Coventry player doesn’t throw himself to the ground because that looked like a penalty to me

Saints have moments up the other end but nothing concrete and a bad final ball and a bad finish happen in the same move.  KWP has as a chance to pick out someone on the edge of the box but over hits it and when Manning returns it from the left, it drops to the feet of Adam Armstrong, who smashes it at a passing aeroplane

Coventry are getting more and more of a foothold in the game now in a week challenge by Che Adams at the edge of the box sees a shot just wide of the post and then the tricky Sakamoto on the right wing tees up former Everton donkey Ellis Sims with a chance he’s clean through against Baz, but in typical clueless fashion, he just smashes it straight at his chest.

Half-time and meh! Not a lot going on here in terms of looking like scoring. Very pedestrian as predicted and in an attacking sense we seem to have a bit of a conundrum.  Our midfielders are not good enough to put chances on a plate for our strikers and our strikers are not good enough to convert half chances or score a goal out of nothing. On a few occasions we have got in and around Coventry‘s defence, it has look slightly shambolic so that’s absolutely has to be more pressure on them in the second half.

Ballboy Gets Ball Back After Arma Shoots

Disappointingly but predictably, no changes are made at half-time and it carries on much the same as you’d expect with us in possession and Adam Armstrong smashing another shot at the moon.  There is a massive warning from Coventry just after that as they build up again down the Manning Chasm on our left had an easy ball in is met by the in-form O’Hare, who crashes a shot off the bar and over.

It’s a warning that is not heeded however as Smallbone and Aribo get in a bit of a panic and put Manning under pressure. He should deal with it, but he turns the wrong way and loses the ball to O’Hare who drives forward.  I am screaming at Manning to pull him down but he does fuck all and O’Hare gets the ball away to Wright, who cuts inside THB and smashes it into the net. Once he has lost the ball Manning absolutely has to take the yellow card there for the team but for some reason, he seemed determined to show that he was not fouling the player. All well and good mate, but now we are one nil down.

With Russell Martin readying some substitutes at the side, it is just a case of who comes off because to be perfectly honest, any of the front six could be removed and they couldn’t complain. In the event it’s Che Adams and Shea Charles who go off to be replaced by Ryan Fraser and Sam Edozie.

With the injection of attacking players and of course still being behind, immediately comes a bit more life with a Edozie and Aribo combining down the line on the right to set up a shot for Stuart Armstrong that he drills straight of the goalkeeper.  Down the left we go with Manning, Stuart Armstrong and Fraser and after some play which sees us put together some nice passing, give the ball away a couple of times and win it back a couple of times, Stu plays a ball to Fraser and his cross into the middle is flicked on by Adam Armstrong and Edozie controls it at the back post before drilling it across the keeper and into the net. Great finish.

Saints have definitely got Coventry a little bit rattled now and we continue to win the ball high up before Edozie’s cross is cleared to the edge of the box where Aribo picks it up, jinks round one player before taking aim at the top corner and narrowly putting it over.

Another move involving KWP, Edozie and Aribo gets the ball to Adam Armstrong about ten yards out and his first shot is blocked and his second flicks off a defender and off the top of the bar for a goal-kick, of course. At least this one wasn’t aimed at a passing meteorite.

There are about ten minutes to go and we’re on top and then…. nothing.  We almost lose it as Coventry cut us open and create a decent chance with Baz pulling off an excellent save at his near post in spectacular fashion to preserve the point.

The end.  In the main - boring shit. It looked stodgy from the team selection and that was exactly how our performance panned out. We had a brief fifteen minutes of urgency when we went behind but once we equalised, we just went back into passive mode like we had settled for a draw. With all due respect to Coventry, they were absolutely bang average and not to beat them when you’ve got designs on getting promoted is absolutely piss poor.

It's probably an okay result if it was a normal season in terms of points total needed to be challenging the top two automatic promotion places. However, in this season where we have two runaway teams, a draw at Coventry following a draw at Watford, it’s really not good enough. Put it this way, today was the kind of performance and result that leaves me thinking that the success or otherwise of our whole season is going to be resting on three games in May.

I’m looking at the stats after the game and apparently, we had 78% possession and from there we mustered three shots on target. Coventry’s 22% possession produced four shots on target. If you convert that to minutes, Coventry had the ball for approximately 20 minutes and got four shots on target, so one every five minutes of possession, whereas Saints had the ball for 75 minutes and had three shots on target, approximately one every 25 minutes.

Asa team, we are not scoring the necessary amount of goals to win games like this comfortably, which we should be doing.  It does make you wonder about the lack of minutes that Sam Edozie gets.  He was told at the start of the season to increase his end product and he has – so where has he been?  Benched in favour of Suledjenepo and losing the impact sub role to Ryan Fraser, who to be fair, has been very good at that.  Moving forward there definitely has to be a case for one of them to start and the other to come on if required.  Russell addressed afterwards that we don’t score as many goals as the other top sides but it’s up to him to give us the best chance to do so.  He talked about letting the strikers off the leash before the game and that’s something that would certainly suit the like of Edozie and Amo-Ameyaw for that matter.

At the other end, the goal we conceded was absolutely dreadful, with Smallbone and Aribo pissing around on the left-hand side and putting Manning in the shit but when Manning loses the ball to O’Hare, he just has to take one for the team and bring him down before he gets to pass away but he doesn’t.  The other point with the goal is that our midfield did not get back and Shea Charles didn’t cover himself in glory because if he had sprinted back instead of jogging, he would’ve been there to meet Wright when he checked inside THB.

We can still make it a decent week when we take our 13 game unbeaten run into Saturday’s visit from Blackburn.  Nothing less than three points will do.

Up the fucking Saints

FA Cup 4th Round - Southampton 2 Coventry City 1 (after extra time)

 

Don't Shoot From There FFS!

FA Cup 4^th Round a and a home game for the first time in ages, against Coventry City. Coventry are doing pretty well in the Championship so this won’t be an easy game but it’s one that we should certainly be progressing from.  How many players will we rest, is the pertinent question.

Last weeks’ international break didn’t bring much news from the Saints camp other than the fact that Moussa Djenepo and Mali got knocked out of the AFCON and Saints released a limited-edition white kit which they were going to wear today, to raise money for the Saints Foundation which is apparently, 20 years old today. Tino Livramento was one of the faces used to launch the white kit so I think we can assume that he is fit again and there was a big feature on the website on Thierry Small which suggests that he’s going to play.

With two games coming up straight after this, I can see us relying on a largely second-string side to try and get us through to the next round.  Saints have got the ticketing prices spot-on because the sold-out signs were going up so we can certainly expect 30,000+ to be in attendance today. This figure is boosted by the fact that Coventry have sold out the entire Northam end so it should be a good atmosphere even though Coventry have their own song which is rather shit. Sky Blue shooting to win… or some such bollocks.

The social media team at St Mary‘s have been reminding us of previous games against Coventry, most notably the 4-0 win in the Championship that sealed our promotion back to the Premier League in 2012. Even Rickie Lambert managed to do an Instagram post on that, thus breaking his streak of 50 Covid conspiracy posts. Talking of Covid conspirators, one of my favourite goals is one that Matt le Tissier scored at Highfield Road when with minimal backlift, he just pinged a ball over Steve Ogrizovic and into the top corner of the net from 35 yards. Great days and straight after it went in, we got pelted with coins by some Coventry fans who clearly had too much money.

Team news – Reserves.  Big Willy, a back three of Stephens, Lyanco and Valery with Thierry Small and Tino at wing backs.  JWP of course and Diallo in midfield with a front three to strike fear into any side - Adam Armstrong, Shane Long and Theo Walcott.

Our team has a decidedly makeshift look about it and the start of the game is horrible as Coventry break down our right-hand side with Jack Stephens getting suckered into a challenge and absolutely roasted by the winger. Over comes the cross and there is carnage at the back post between Caballero missing it, Small blocking it and Diallo dithering but we do eventually smuggle the ball clear.

There is no intensity in Saints defending at all. Coventry midfielder Eccles picks up the ball on the right wing and just makes a straight diagonal run towards the penalty area with Small and Diallo jogging alongside him. Before anyone seems to realise that there is actually any fucking danger, he shoots and Big Willy has to get well down well to push it wide.

We win a corner on the right-hand side when an Adam Armstrong cross is knocked behind. JWP takes a short corner along the line to Armstrong who knocks it back and … who is that guy with a ponytail? Oh yes, it’s Theo Walcott - and he manages to stab a shot goalward, which is clawed out easily enough by the Coventry keeper.

The next effort on goal was fucking bizarre as Coventry built down our right again and when the cross came into the box, it was nowhere near Coventry player but never fear, in came Thierry Small who I think was intending to chest it back but instead, he smashed a header straight at Caballero, who must’ve wondered what the fuck was going on. Luckily it was straight at him but it was a decent save.   Said incident was going to do nothing for Small’s confidence and neither was the fact that when we were going forward, Diallo, who was closest to him on the left, never ever looked left to give him the ball, He is a 17-year-old kid, give him the fucking ball.

Coventry we are by far the better side and then they put it together perfectly with a lovely exchange of passes between midfield and Gyokeres up front and on went the Coventry striker to finish easily with Caballero not having a prayer. At the other end from me there are quite a few Coventry fans who have broken over the netting and into the empty area to segregate the fans and are giving it the big one to the Itchin North. It’s annoying that the stewards just motion them back into the Coventry section as every single one of them should be chucked out. Enjoy your moment lads.

Things went from bad to worse soon after as Lyanco pulled up with what looked like a hamstring tear so he was off and Ralph had seen enough or us looking lost positionally, so the replacement was Nathan Redmond, which basically meant that we went to the 4-2-2-2 formation, which meant Yan Valery again having to play as a centre back in a flat back four. This change seemed to suit Thierry Small and he found himself breaking forward a couple of times and got a good couple of crosses over. It was still mainly shambolic though and we were lucky that Coventry didn’t increase their lead.

Half time and to be honest we are lucky to only be 1-0 down. Ralph obviously agreed and Thierry Small was done for the day, as was Adam Armstrong who was a bit unfortunate to come off because he was certainly no worse than Shane Long or Theo Walcott. The two players entering the fray were Stuart Armstrong and KWP.

As the second-half started, it became pretty obvious that Coventry were going to try and hold onto what they had and began sitting back. This allowed Saints to get into the game and we immediately look like we had more intensity. We were allowed to work the ball across from the left-hand side and eventually Valery just knocked it to his right to Stuart Armstrong who in keeping with JWP at Wolves and KWP against Man City, unleashed a swerving thunderbastard into the top corner from 25 yards. What a fucking goal.  Such a good player.

Having got back into it, we make an effort to fuck it all up as Valery pulls out his one huge mistake for the game with a back pass that didn’t even get halfway to Caballero and put Coventry substitute Waghorn clean through. Luckily, Waghorn, a journey man Championship level striker, showed exactly what he is by hitting it straight at Big Willy, who to be fair, had got himself in exactly the right place. It’s a shame that Valery has this tendency to pull the one big fuck up out because otherwise, he’s been excellent today.

We don’t look like scoring again, which is a mystery with a Theo and Shane partnership up front, so Ralph decides to bring on a proper forward in Armando Broja, with Theo being the one to make way, having contributed his usual nothing. We arrive at the 90 minute mark and Ralph brings on Romeu for Livramento, presumably for extra time, which means JWP going to right back.  Coventry are certainly happy to go to extra time and we don’t have the wit or invention to create another decent chance.  I don’t really want extra time, not gonna lie.  It’s been a tough watch.

We have another Broja classic moment at the start of extra time as he picks up the ball on the right wing right on the halfway line and he just goes, burning the full back off before closing in on goal but unfortunately the angle is against him and he hits the side netting. We have one more chance in the first period of extra time as Redmond skips across from the left and the ball eventually ends up with JWP on the right and side. His cross back into the mixer is headed straight to the keeper by Shane Long but guess what, water is still wet and he’s offside.

The second period starts and Coventry are basically playing five at the back, four in midfield and one isolated up front which is allowing us just passed the ball around the edge of the penalty area. We eventually feed the ball into Broja on the edge of the box who knocks it out to KWP on the left, who cuts in and skims a shot with his right foot which flicks off a defender and nestles in the bottom corner of the net. The man is turning into a fucking goal machine.  Into the crowd he goes in a rather silly attempt to catch Covid and earn himself a yellow card but there you go, the Magic of the Cup and all that, 2-1 up.

A Goal-Machine, with Nathan Redmond

There really doesn’t seem to be much danger and then we get to 120 minutes and then of course it’s fucking carnage. Coventry swing in a cross from the right-hand side and there is Waghorn completely unmarked at the back post with a free header and he shows Championship Journeyman instincts and heads it wide of the far post

There is still time to not play the game out in convincing fashion.  We lose the ball in midfield and Gyokeres picks it up 30 yards out drives it goal and smashes it low and Big Willy has to produce a good save. Back it bounces to Waghorn who hits it again, Big Willy stands tall once more and the ball goes out wide right it’s fired backing by Kane and there is Waghorn to tap into an empty net from right in front of Caballero.  Has to be offside. The linesman though takes fucking ages and eventually raises his flag. I mean, it’s not even close. It’s a good 5 yards offside. The Coventry fans go mad, giving it the big one. Never mind lads.

Final whistle and relief. Shane Long, to be fair, has run himself into the ground and collapsed in a heap. We got it done – just.  Like in the previous round against Swansea, we made things incredibly difficult for ourselves but got there in the end, mainly because we had just a little bit too much quality for our Championship opponents.

We didn’t have too much quality with the original starting line-up, with which we were largely fucking dreadful. The first half was absolutely appalling with only about three players emerging with any credit, those being JWP, Valery and Caballero. The formation was clearly wrong as well and at least Ralph recognised that when Lyanco went down injured. However, Nathan Redmond was back to being his infuriating self where once again he was stationed on the left-hand side and he spent the entire rest of the game giving the ball away or turning sideways and backwards.

The two substitutions at half time we are desperately needed with Stuart Armstrong adding some quality and guile to the proceedings and KWP coming on to end what was a very difficult afternoon for Thierry Small.  Small had a very tough introduction to senior football. Firstly he had to contend with not getting passed the ball much because of Diallo’s tendency to turn inside.   When Small got given the ball going forward, he looked decent.  Where Small really struggled was defensively where he didn’t seem to have the determination to get back goal side when the ball was lost or to know when to engage.  This was a partial contributor to the opening goal for Coventry but before that, he had nearly had an absolute calamity with the back header.  17-year-old bailed out by 40-year-old.  It’s unfair just to highlight the difficulties of a 17-year-old kid making his debut.  The majority of our defending in the first half and when under pressure in the second, was fucking atrocious. We just stood off, passive and let them pass around us.

Jack Stephens looked like he’d never played centre back before and though he got better as the game went on, he still never seemed to get to grips with the game and gave a perfect illustration of why he is now our fourth-choice central defender.  He stood off and allowed strikers to turn, or he got tight and got spun.  To be honest, Yan Valery had a great game today so I might alter that pecking order further. No one would’ve predicted that Valery could play centre back in a flat back four but he’s done it twice now and performed really well. He had one mistake but other than that he was excellent.

Big Willy had a great game as well.  Give the man a new 5 year contract, like we did with Kelvin Davis when he was 45.  The double save at the end was what saved us from a nerve shredding penalty shoot-out and for me, he’s already proved himself a worthy acquisition.

The Legend of Big Willy

The victory came at a cost though with Lyanco’s injury likely to keep him out for at least a month with it being a hamstring tear and it’s worrying to see Broja limp off the pitch at the end. I know he’s got a tendency to limp everywhere but the tackle where he picked up his injury was a horrible one as he sprinted away from the Coventry defender who just cynically took him out. I would have no problem with those been given as red cards as there was absolutely no attempt to play the ball whatsoever and all that was ever going to happen was that the opponent got injured.

In the end it was two goals from the two substitutes. Stuart Armstrong‘s effort was just ridiculous to cut across the ball like that and send it flying into the top corner giving the goalkeeper absolutely no chance.  He scores worldies all the time as the song goes. Well, he doesn’t do it all the time but he did it today and it was a brilliant strike, right up with KWP’s one from last week.  Did I say last week? Kyle Goal-Machine was at it again today.  Left back or right back – no worries.

On the other hand, Adam Armstrong looked like a player with absolutely no confidence, and it was no real surprise he was hooked at half-time and Theo Walcott, Ladies and Gentlemen, used to be regarded as a decent footballer. Fuck me. If he wasn’t aimlessly flicking the ball around the corner to nobody he was just losing a ball in the challenge and not taking anyone on.  The pace has gone and there is not much footballing ability to fall back on.

So, we got away with it and into the fifth round we go.  The draw got made on Sunday and we are in the only all Premier League tie against bloody West Ham at home – not a great draw.  Mind you, they’ll be thinking it’s not a great draw for them either.  All the Premier League Big Guns got kept apart again – big shock there especially as United and Arsenal are already out.  Hot balls and all that.

We’ve not too long to think about that because it’s Spurs away on Wednesday night. Saints will look a different proposition with Forster, Salisu, Bednarek and Romeu back and hopefully KWP and Stuart Armstrong did enough off the bench today to get them selected for the next Premier League game.  If the ref doesn’t buy Son’s diving about, we may have a chance.

NPC Match 46 - Southampton 4 Coventry 0

Now that's What I Call a Pitch Invasion

It has been like waiting for Christmas as a kid.  Four sleeps to go, three sleeps to go... I’m 43 – grow up!!! Two, one, none... Saturday morning.  Surely we can’t allow ourselves to bugger this up now.  It’s 90 minutes of Saints v Coventry City.  Saints who’ve been in the top 2 all season with a very good home record, at home to Coventry, who are already relegated and with the worst away record in the division.  Oh yeah – and we’ve already beaten them away twice this season, once with a half strength team in the FA Cup…. Oooh, it’s on TV and we always lose on TV….  No we don’t and so fucking what.

Fat Sam kept the pot boiling with a 2-1 win at Leicester on Monday night when Leicester put in one of the best examples of a ‘couldn’t give a toss’ performance that I’ve ever seen.  As a result the permutations are these...

1.       Win and we’re up

2.       Lose and we’re up if West Ham don’t win.

3.       Draw and we’re up if West Ham don’t win.

4.       Draw and a West Ham win gets a bit complicated.

a.       West Ham win by 1 or 2 goals – Saints are up on goal difference

b.      West Ham win by 4 goals – West Ham are up on goal difference

c.       West Ham win by 3 goals – very complicated....

                                                               i.      West Ham win by 3 scoring 1 goal more than Saints get against Coventry  - Saints up on goals scored

                                                             ii.      West Ham win by 3 scoring 2 goals more than Saints get against Coventry  - Saints up on better head to head record

                                                            iii.      West Ham win by 3 scoring 3 goals more than Saints get against Coventry – West Ham up on goals scored

But bloody hell, we aren’t going to draw or lose – we’re going to win and make all the goal difference and goals scored and head to head comparisons irrelevant.

One interesting and quite frankly amusing spectacle this week has been Fat Sam mind games.  All he’s done is talk about Coventry and all the usual bollocks about the pressure being off them and playing with freedom and all that.  I’ve not seen him mention that West Ham have to win their game at home to Hull who also have nothing to play for but when all is said and done, are a much better side than Coventry.  Compare and contrast to Nigel who hasn’t mentioned West Ham – just put out the message that we are going to win our game.

The interviews coming out of the Saints camp have extolled the virtues of patience and not getting nervous.  What they are saying is “don’t start bitching if things don’t go immediately to plan”.  I am fully expecting, in fact I would put money on, me turning around and telling one or both of the Chuckle Brothers to shut the fuck up at some point before 1pm.  Nigel Adkins ensured that everyone was amused by stressing the need for calm heads but he did this by using the phrase “at the right level of arousal”.  I think the last manager who said anything like that was Avram Grant at Horton Heath or maybe David Pleat when he was kerb-crawling.

We have an injury concern in that Chappers is out with the hamstring pull he got up at Middlesbrough so there’s a gap at right midfield which I anticipate will be filled by Guly.  Nigel stressed that everyone else was fit bar Connolly and Tadanari Lee so we should go into the game in fairly good nick.  Coventry will have a load of kids in the team as unlike that financially embarrassed League 1 lot from down the road, they’ve not been afraid to blood their own youngsters as opposed to borrowing other peoples.  The rumoured record 32,300 crowd will either inspire them or hopefully, sink them.  Coventry manager and hard looking bastard Andy Thorn has promised us a scrap as of course he would.  It would be refreshing for a manager to come out and say “we’re down and the players want to go on holiday and we don’t give a shit about this game and we’d rather be anywhere else”.

To the teams and Guly is indeed, in on the right and Morgan is recalled with the bench finally being balanced with only one defender (Harding), along with Bart, Cork, de Ridder and Punch.  Guly was back to sporting his Mr T Mohawk hairstyle which makes him look hard.  Coventry had ex-Saint Martin Cranie in their side who was a victim of the Whisky George random selection policy when if rumour is to be believed, Whisky George was so pissed that he forgot who Cranie was.  The rest of the side appeared to be youth team graduates aged between 17 and 21, one of who was Gael Bigirimana who was voted Apprentice of the Season at the recent Football League awards and on his head he has one of those bristle brushes that you use to clean mud off your boots.

We kick off and the ball is played back to Foxy who bangs it forward for all the Coventry defenders to miss.  Billy Sharp hooks it into the box and Guly puts it over the bar with the aid of a deflection.  Should have been a corner really but we’ve had our first shot after about 6 seconds. Coventry settle down though and are playing well, especially Baker on the right wing who collects a big bang forward from the keeper after Big Jos misjudged the header and won a corner.  The corner travels right across and back again before being worked back to McSheffrey whose left foot snap shot is clawed away by Superkelv as 32,000 people momentarily shit themselves.

Baker is at the heart of another chance as he picks up the ball with distinct absence of Danny Fox and half to pitch to himself but instead of trying to pick out one of the three Cov forwards in the box, he chose to lash a shot into the crowd in embarrassingly inept fashion.

Having held off an attacker and picking up the ball, José suddenly went all Beckenbauer and set off up the pitch, slaloming past two players before reaching the edge of the box and playing it to Guly who got his head up and chipped it to Lallana on the edge of the box who lashed the volley past the keeper for 1-0 though Billy Sharp wheeled away implying that he’d got a touch.  Sure enough, TV replays proved that the initial shot was going to be saved but the deflection applied by Billy has left the keeper with no chance.  Get in!!!  The Stadium announcer gives the goal to Adam while Billy stands there pointing to himself.

As we built up down the right, Deano was slides in to retain possession and gets a kick in the back for his troubles and the move ended with Butters winning a corner on the right. Foxy went over to whip it in and José lost his marker and dived in to head it down, past the keeper and over the defender on the line for 2-0 to spark some big time José celebrations which were mainly about not being left with Jack Cork on zero goals for the season.

There is a mighty burst of “Sha la la, who the fuck is laughing now” before Baker reminds us that there’s still a game going on by forcing Superkelv into a decent low save.  Deano is not moving freely following the earlier kick in the back and so is replaced with Jack Cork before Billy gets put through by Morgan but takes too long to pull the trigger and is robbed at the death.

At half time we got the increasingly irrelevant news that Fat Sam has masterminded a 1-0 lead against Hull and following the relay race around the pitch, came the announcement from annoying bald guy that we should stay in our seats after the match.  As if.  A steward told me last year that they have to announce it, even though everyone knows it isn’t going to happen.

There is one potential issue to overcome and that’s the first ten minutes of the second half and its a bit of a worry that we have gone to the diamond midfield with Cork and Lallana right and left, Guly at the point in his best position and the imperious Morgan at the base who is having a brilliant match.   Any worries are misplaced as it’s pretty much plain sailing and we have the first chance as Guly feeds Corky on the right who delivers a great cross back to Guly who heads it over the bar and shows his annoyance by kicking the post.

A few minutes later and Billy tees up Sir Rickie who blasts a bullet of a shot just over the angle of post and bar.  The compliment is then returned as Sir Rickie’s clever ball puts Billy away against two defenders – the first one touches the ball and the second one hooks Billy over.  A clear penalty but not today and it’s the start of a duff couple of minutes for Billy with the ref as he gets clattered by a late tackle which the referee ignores.

As the hour mark approaches, we have another corner on the right and once more, Foxy comes over and whips it in.  Despite it being a bit low, no Coventry defender takes command and it falls to Billy who controls, spins and hits it.  It’s on target but blocked and comes out to Big Jos who hooks it into the net on for his 8^th goal of the season to make it 3-0 before milking the applause in a manner not seen since Papa Waigo at Wembley in the JPT final.  We are surely nearly there now – my Dad is bouncing up and down singing “we are going up” but I still can’t bring myself to join in yet.  This is what Southampton FC has made me over the years…. This is Dreamland though.

Dreamland then gets that little bit better as Butters gives the ball away, Guly wins it back and plays it to Corky who executes the ‘cross to Sir Rickie at the back stick’ ball to perfection.  The big man beats the defender and heads across to where Lallana has stolen in to hook it high into the net from a yard out.  4-0 and it’s time to start counting chickens, even for me…”we are going up”.

The next half an hour is pretty tame to be honest with nothing much going on.  Saints were content to play olé football in the middle of the park and Coventry were happy not to let in any more goals.  The Northam came up with a genius chant which spread round the whole ground of “We are Southampton – we’re shit on TV”.  Superkelv was forced into a ‘one for the cameras’ parry from the persistent Baker and Sir Rickie had a decent chance for a goal as he played a good 1-2 with Corky before sidefooting his effort to the keeper instead of trying to knock his head off like he should have done.  Billy Sharp is subbed for Steeeeeve with the vicious rumour being that Nigel was worried about Billy being too slow to get off the pitch before the pitch invasion.

Announcer:  “Ladies and Gentlemen, can I please remind you to stay in the seating area…”. 
Crowd: “Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa….on the pitch, on the pitch, on the pitch….” Etc.

Punch came on so Adam Lallana could get the standing ovation treatment and joined in the carnival atmosphere by passing the ball about.  For a second, we were like Barcelona with 50 passes without going anywhere.  Steeeeve broke down the right, got his head up to pick out a pass, delayed …. and then passed it straight to a Coventry player with none of ours anywhere.

People were gathering at the entrances so they could ignore the instructions to stay in the seated areas and the game was nearly done, the season was nearly done and we were 4-0 up.  Butters gave the ball away and from behind me came a ‘why-deeeee-do-dahhhht…-eee-always-does-dahhhhht –what-zeeeee-playin-ahhhhht’ moan from the Chuckle Brothers.  I politely pointed out that we were 4-0 up, 2 minutes from getting promoted and it really wouldn’t matter if he belted it 40 yards past our own keeper.  Actually, I wasn’t polite at all…”Stop fucking moaning for fucks sake, we’re 4-fucking-0 up and we’re going up”, was the gist of it.  Not proud of it but hopefully he’ll remember that when he’s renewing his season ticket and sit somewhere else - maybe he’ll sit near one of you dear readers…

The ref wasn’t hanging about and with injury time barely started, the final whistle blew and the stampede started.  Players disappeared to be hoisted up onto shoulders or passed along by a sea of hands.  Kids were on Dad’s shoulders and one of them smacked me on the head with a flag.  My dad didn’t fancy putting me on his shoulders and so we manoeuvred ourselves to where we could see the directors box to where the players eventually emerged to take the accolades.  I can’t do it justice on here – no chance, so I’m not going to try.  A quick mention though to whoever selected ‘Amarillo’ as the first song to blast through the PA at the end – nice one.  Who the Fuck is laughing now?

Well, where do we start?  The match itself was a bit of a procession once the first goal went in.  Until then Coventry had a few moments but nothing really serious but once we went in front it was men against boys and a case of how many did we want to get.  I remember Alex Ferguson saying once (after they dcked our very young side 3-0 in an FA Cup match) that you don’t want to humiliate young opposition and I think there was a case of that today as we went through the motions for the last half an hour.  Talking of that FA Cup match – that was when that total idiot Jan Poortvliet was in charge and no one in Southampton had heard of Markus Liebherr and Nicola Cortese.  For me, the standout individual performers today were Morgan Schneiderlin who was a class apart and the much maligned Guly do Prado who played with his head up today and barely wasted a pass.  Jose Fonte also had a very good game and was allowed to show what a good footballer he is, especially with the run for the first goal.

Coventry have the basis of a decent side if they can inject some experience into it but they have a fight on their hands to get rid of the cancer that is SISU before the club can move forward.  I was impressed by the number of their fans who showed up today considering they were already relegated and even more impressed by those who stayed past the end to watch the stampede onto the pitch.  I hope they get new owners and do well next season – maybe Mr Cortese knows someone.  Their fans were hoping that we’d join in with their ‘SISU out’ chants.  I think that normally we would have done but it was the wrong day for it I’m afraid.

Fat Sam managed to win 2-1 against Hull and sensibly took some key players off when it became obvious that we were going to win.  He’s in the playoffs with Birmingham, Blackpool and Cardiff and should be favourites.  If I had to put some money on though, it would go on Blackpool.  If West Ham don’t make it, then I look forward to Fat Sam’s reaction and to hear how it’s reported on Moose Radio, not to mention the rise in the price of dildos which will inevitably follow, should the Porn Barons need to supplement their parachute payments to fund the highest wage bill in the Championship for another year.  Whilst we’re having a laugh at other teams, Gus Poyet….Keep up and goodbye!!! … and I’m looking forward to going to Twitter and seeing how many Pompey fans are still saying “we fucked the Scummers season up”, which they’ve been doing since their winner, sorry… equalizer in the game at SMS.  Yes lads and lasses, it’s been a horrendous year for us while yours has been brilliant.  We’ll spend the summer planning to play Arsenal and Man United and you’ll spent it wondering if your club is going to survive and if it does, supporting your team of 18 year olds as you play Crawley.  Best Fans in the world ™… enjoy the pictures of the pitch invasion in your papers on Sunday and Monday.

When I eventually got home I thought I’d sit down and watch the whole match again but couldn’t because my Sky+ box had 0% space remaining and the recording had failed.  What I did have though was 75 unwatched episodes of Homes Under the Fucking Hammer and 20 unwatched episodes of some Disney Channel rubbish.  Not impressed but it didn’t really matter.  Managed to see it later with the highlight of the coverage being Deano saying ‘fucking brilliant’ live on TV at what would have been about 2.30 in the afternoon in front of an audience of millions.  Excellent.  Gabby Logan also deserves much credit for her sign off of "Saints doing fine on the Adkins diet but for Big Sam, the wait (weight) goes on".

There have been a number of Nigel Adkins interviews ranging from the emotional one straight after the whistle when he didn’t really want to talk, to the slightly surreal one when he was emotionally discussing eventually leaving the club which I took as being a philosophical appraisal of a football manager’s lot in life.  Death and taxes are inevitable for the rest of us but for a football manager it’s death, taxes and getting the sack unless you are Harry Redknapp and then it’s death, offshore accounts and court cases as your three certainties in life.  As for Nigel - he’ll be with us for a long time yet, of that I have no doubt.  These interviews were with a guy who has had a guard up for a whole year and were given at the precise moment that the enormous achievement made the guard slip for a second.

The players’ celebrations in the dressing room were captured and posted on the excellent and well worth the money, Saints Player with the highlights being Radhi Jaidi’s Michael Jackson impression and Tadanari Lee hopping round in a surgical boot.  Unbelievably Lee Barnard had been given a bottle to carry round and Tommy ‘the legend’ Forecast could be seen partying in large fashion.  Fair play to them all and they all deserve it.  We are going up. We are Premier League.  Thank you Southampton FC and to quote the skipper…

It’s been fucking brilliant.