NPC Match 24 - Southampton 0 Bristol City 1

We're shit, we're always shit, who are we again ?

Bristol City are in town to try and prevent us going 6 points clear at the top of the league.  This is course, is a bit of a misnomer as everyone else plays tomorrow but never the less, after tonight, the league table will hopefully look very nice indeed.  We of course, lost at Ashton Gate about a month ago as we put in one of our stuttering away performances and they were on the top of “new manager” bounce.  They’re now in the depths of “we’re down the bottom for a reason” and I don’t think they’ve won since. 

The last time we played Bristol City at home, I didn't make the game as someone nicked my headlight from my car.  Not too much of a problem one would think until you consider that they'd ripped the bumper off and broke the bonnet so it wouldn't shut - all to nick a headlight off a Ford Focus, the most common car in the world.  I was in Portsmouth so I guess it serves me right and it may explain why they'd broken the mountings so it would be useless anyway.

I wonder what sort of reception David James will get – I think he’s still an excellent goalkeeper and a decent bloke but a Skate, is at the end of the day, a Skate.  I predict tonight will be a rear guard action by the Wurzels so hopefully he’ll have a mare.  Nicky Maynard is in the news for not signing a new contract and the City fans are giving him a hard time but if he plays then he’ll be a threat, as will Albert Adomah who tore Danny Fox a new one at Ashton Gate.

Nigel’s team selection headaches are interesting but I can basically see a similar pattern to the Palace game so I expect us to be unchanged.  Maybe Nigel will prefer Dan Harding to Fox to combat the very quick Adomah but ... out of our 3 left backs, maybe the forgotten man.... thingy...  Ryan Dickson is the quickest.  Surely Morgan played too well against Palace to be dropped for this one meaning Deano can once again keep warm on the bench with his gay jumper.

As it turned out, Nigel kept faith with the Fox at left back and Morgan in midfield but there was one change with Jose Fonte succumbing to a toe injury and being replaced with Aaron Martin.  Aaron’s spot on the bench was taken by Lee Holmes.

For the first 10 minutes we don’t touch the ball as Bristol City set out their stall and basically take the piss.  They’re passing it about, running at us and looking dangerous.  Every time we get it, we’ve lost it again within seconds as they snap into tackles and we don’t seem to have the pace about our game to impose ourselves.  When we eventually do get hold of the ball them we look dangerous as de Ridder skins his full back and gets his head up and feeds Lallana in space but he fannies around with it and the chance is gone.

We look terrified of Adomah whenever he gets the ball and he flies past Frazer and Morgan before lashing over the bar.  Whilst City look dangerous, they’re not working the keeper at all and we manage it when Morgan takes a pot shot from 30 yards which is flying in the top corner until James takes off and tips it over the bar.  From the resulting corner, Sir Rickie beats his marker and heads over when he really should have done better.

It’s end to end stuff though as more pissing about and ‘after you’ in our defence sees Superkelv have to claw away another Adomah blast before we break again and de Ridder forces James into a block before just failing to pick out Guly with the rebound and his cross is eventually cleared by the committed City defenders or bastards as I was calling them at the time.  In the build up to this, Sir Rickie had been totalled off the ball by Carey and in the one decision the ref got right all game, he went back and booked him.

We had a great chance to take the lead just before half time when Sir Rickie found himself on the right wing and ignoring the anti-Gas insults being thrown at him by the City fans, crossed.  The cross was headed up in the air by a defender and fell to the wrong man to hit on the volley as Foxy screwed his big chance well wide.

Half time and the natives are restless in the crowd because we’re not winning.  I have a discussion with a bloke who is incandescent with rage over us not signing anyone in the loan window in November.  Hmmm, remember Dany N’Guessan and Dale Stephens…. If you don’t it’s because they were pretty shite.

I expected us to tighten up in the second half but we don’t – the opposite in fact as a long range shot is spilled by Superkelv and Maynard fires in the rebound.  Fuck it… oh, hang on, offside, haaaaaaaaaa !.  Fact is that we and Kelvin got lucky there but we attempt to rub it in by taking a quick free kick while five City players are celebrating in the corner but Guly lashes the eventual chance over the bar.  Whilst it would have been a little unjust, it would have been amusing if that had gone in.

Aaron Martin is showing up well in defence for us and their defence is as uncompromising as ever with Carey getting away with absolute murder every time he challenges Sir Rickie in the air.  On the one occasion the ref actually sees fit to give a free kick against him for using the forward as a step ladder, he chucks his toys around like a man who is begging to get sent off.  Morgan has faded from the game horribly and he makes his one contribution to the second half by trashing Adomah and getting a deserved booking.

City create another chance and this time it’s Superkelv to the rescue as he gets enough on Person’s close range shot to allow Martin to clear and that bastard James is at it again as Cork’s fine run and cross, picks out Sir Rickie who takes it on his chest and smashes in a volley which has goal written all over it.  James wipes ‘goal’ off of the ball and re-write ‘not today sunshine’ on it and pulls off a great save.

With Connolly about to come on, the money is on de Ridder coming off even though he’s been our best player but it’s Lallana who comes off with Guly going left.  The impact craved though is arse backwards as Skuse fires in a shot from 40 yards, Notsosuperkelv makes a meal of it and flaps it into the path of Maynard again.  As we wait for the net to bulge, Kelvin is up and parrying away the incoming shot but is powerless to prevent Pearson rolling it into an empty net.  Shit… for real this time.

There are 10 minutes to go plus added time and I’m not optimistic today.  We throw on Deano for Morgan which improves things and then mysteriously, we throw on Holmes (a left winger) at right back in place of Richardson (right back and our best crosser of the ball) and still leave Guly out on the left (where’s he’s crap).  The only other personnel change that should happen is Carey getting sent off as he continues to kick the fuck out of Sir Rickie but the ref isn’t having any of it.  A Guly shot which is always going wide is all we manage despite the five minutes of added time that come and go as rather irritatingly, people file out of the stadium.

Well bugger.  Not because we didn’t go a calendar year without a home defeat as I couldn’t give a shit about that but just because we lost but to be fair, Bristol City played better than us on the night and deserved to win.  To take that further, they looked dangerous with the ball and very organized when we had possession and I can’t find anything to have a go at them about.   They looked better than any side we’ve played in this home run we’ve been on.  The referee didn’t help us in the slightest today though and on another day with another ref, Carey would have picked up 4 yellow cards on his own.  It’s not just the leniency in terms of cards though, it was the fact he let the centre backs climb all over Sir Rickie for the entire match.  Mind you, we should have been good enough to play through them and not go long all the time.

This wasn’t a terrible performance by us and we did create some chances.  If Joe Hart is England’s best goalkeeper, then even at 41, David James is the 2^nd best and he looked unbeatable tonight.  Positves for us were Steve de Ridder who was superb all night I thought and our best attacking player by a mile.  Aaron Martin also had a decent enough match to suggest we shouldn’t be worried when he’s called upon.  One worry was that Adam Lallana was terrible and hasn’t really fired since his injury lay off.   Morgan and Corky seemed to get tired in the second half and in my opinion, Deano should have been on at half time, even allowing for his gay jumper.  Guly was another who looked like he needs a bit of a break.

I’m going to have a moan about moaning.  Guly tries a flick and loses the ball and there’s loads of moaning.  Lallana backheels a throw in out of play and everyone goes ‘unlucky’ - if Guly had done that he’d have got slaughtered.  Also, 85 minutes tonight and they may as well have put ‘Ghost Town’ on the stadium PA as the home sections started emptying out.  Usually it happens on 90 minutes and the only reason I can think of for this happening five minutes earlier than usual is because we are losing, which after the year we’ve had, I find a bit pathetic.    Something made me laugh on the way out of the ground as well -  Steve de Ridder shanked his last cross of the game out of play and on the way out I heard someone saying ‘that de Ridder is fucking shit’.  Talk about the memory of a goldfish – anything that happened before 10 minutes ago doesn’t count.

It’s been a brilliant year and we’re top of the league.  Yes we could be further ahead but we’re in a better position than 23 other teams.  Do you want to swap because they all want to swap with us.

PS – On the Saturday after our game, West Ham managed to lose at Derby and Middlesbrough only managed a home draw with Peterborough so we managed to stay top by 2 points.  If this doesn’t tell you that no one is going to run away with it then nothing will.  Next up we have Brighton who have a load of injuries and suspensions and are falling down the league quicker than Pompey are spending money they haven’t got.

Happy New Year SFC fans.