Ginger Perm arrives at SMSAnd so into April and 8 games in a month. We’d not played for 11 days due to the multitude of Plymouth players away on international duty. Apparently, one was supposed to be playing in a friendly between New Zealand and Japan in Tokyo, you know, just down the road from the nuclear reactor which is threatening to blow up. What a surprise postponement....
Whilst we were inactive, Peterborough played three times, losing to the Fakes and drawing twice which amounts to a bit of a wobble, if not a full ‘wheels falling off’ breakdown. I did cheer a Bournemouth goal though when they equalized in the 94th minute. In my mind I had a picture of Darren Ferguson’s face, all beetroot with rage, when his keeper dropped a clanger. Huddersfield had only played the once and they won that and Brighton were just Brighton - another two matches and another two wins. Brighton aside, the table is getting tighter and the games are getting more vital. Loan window deadline day has been and gone with Saints bringing in Dale Stephens on a ‘loan before you buy’ deal from Oldham who are desperate for the cash. Also desperate for the cash are the aforementioned Plymouth, from whom we are attempting to buy Jack Stephens (no relation to Dale) who has already turned down a move to Fulham. Rumour has it that young boys like Jack are not keen to sign for Fulham and be in the shadow of Michael Jackson. So, with Dale Stephens and Jack Stephens – rumours that Shakin’ Stevens would be the half time entertainment were about as we welcomed the Fake Dons, complete with their decent run of form, decent away record and Karl Gobshite Robinson.
As expected, Adam Lallana has recovered from the injury picked up at Charlton but Alex Chamberlain is out for a couple of weeks at least and you wonder if that’s it for him for the season. The Gulyman came in as his replacement in an otherwise unchanged team. Dale Stephens made the bench, where he was joined by the usual suspects and someone who looked a little bit like David Connolly – but it couldn’t be, surely! On paper, the Fakes have a pretty nondescript collection of players but in the flesh, in full day-glo technicolour, they have a fabulous ginger perm playing at left back who was no doubt happy that his perm wouldn’t have to try and keep up with Chambo on the wing.
I was expecting Guly to line up on the right wing and it was with some disappointment that I realised that Nigel had gone with the diamond midfield which in previous games has neither sparkled nor shone. Regardless, we started well and were pinging the ball about with the Fakes being unable to get out of their half and getting 11 men behind the ball. The man finding the space is Dan Harding who finds himself in a good crossing position before wafting it aimlessly over everyone in the middle.
Guly is showing up well with the touch a control finding players on a regular basis though he does still manage to get knocked over by the ball and perform a kind of crappy backward roll. We are still playing well but all we have to show for the first 20 minutes are daisy cutter shots from Barnard and Lallana and one decent cross from Harding which no one went for. From 20 minutes, Saints movement up front kind of stopped with Barnard, Sir Rickie and Guly all seeming to get in eachothers way.
The Fakes were showing some decent football of their own, confidently keeping it on the deck without creating anything. Their eventual ball forward was usually met by Jaidi whose headers were usually going about 50 yards back up the pitch. One ball up to Baldock was in the air and fell a bit short of him so Radhi managed to get a run on him before heading it away. It was like watching a rabbit being hit by a lorry with Baldock peeling himself off of the ground and having a look on his face like he didn’t know if he was alive or dead.
Big Radhi didn’t have a great moment just after that though as the Fakes won a corner which was delivered by Leven and met by MacKenzie who powered it into the net having lost the big man at the corner. They’d been in our box once and scored. Dammit.
As half time approached, nothing was happening for us and the diamond formation in midfield was as usual, playing into the oppositions hands with everything funnelling into the traffic in the middle. Harding was trying to provide width on the left but his crosses were uniformly shit and Butterfield was not getting forward at all. There was a distinct pedestrian nature about everything and the pace of Chamberlain was being sorely missed. Half time and 1-0 down with Huddersfield winning....booo!
Out we came for the second half with no notable change to either the personnel or the formation. There was also no change to the standard of football we were producing – all huff and puff and Dan Harding getting down the wing and whoosh – throw in, far side. I think that maybe he needs his eyes testing as he appears to believe the goal is further away than it actually is. It’s 15 yards away but he thinks it’s 80.
A difficult day became a very difficult day on the hour mark as the Fakes broke and Baldock found himself one on one with Butters. He created a yard for himself and went for Kelvin’s achilles heel – the near post and straight in it went for 2-0. Two shots, two goals and whilst there was no keeper blame attached to the first goal, this one is one to add to the rubbish ones let in recently against Peterbrough, Walsall, Tranmere and Swindon. He’s in the wrong place and is too far away from the post, about a yard too far to the left. The Fakes fans are chanting “You’re getting beat by a Franchise” and they’re right. Ridiculed by fans of the Fake Dons – could life get worse ?
Nigel reached for the bench and on came Johnno Pace for the ineffective Chappers who hadn’t had much joy in his right midfieldish role. Johnno went to the right with the clear intention of running at the Ginger Perm. Within five minutes, the substitution had paid off when a Sir Rickie cross from the left was allowed to travel all the way across to where Johnno chested it past the Perm before volleying into the net. 2-1 down and game on.
Another sub for Saints as Dale Stephens came on for the Gulyman so now were set in the usual 4-4-2 and we immediately levelled the scores when Lallana fed the overlapping Harding whose cross stayed on the pitch this time and was parried by the keeper out to Johnno, who couldn’t miss, 2-2 and I knew we’d score again.
There were a couple of false alarms with first the keeper saving well from a Hammond header and then watching on helplessly as Lallana tricked past two defenders before firing agonisingly wide. The newly woken up Sir Rickie then fed Barnard who ran out of angle and fired over. Twas but a matter of time though.... and it was Barnard who smashed Saints in front with his left foot as he ran onto Sir Rickie’s pass to send SMS nuts.
The last time the Fakes were in our half they were 2-0 up but now they went for it and put us under pressure which was repelled with Fonte quite clearly throwing one of their players on the ground in a move last seen on Ultimate Fighting Challenge for what should have been a penalty. Following the incident, the ball broke to a Fakes forward who stabbed just wide. Gleeson went nuts at the ref and managed to run into him, picking up a booking. To be fair, it looked accidental so a yellow was probably fair but I bet he shat himself when he realised he’d pushed the ref.
More Fakes pressure and the ref who had let everything go all game, suddenly started giving stuff and from a dubiously awarded free kick, Leven, not distracted by me muttering ‘fuck off’ under my breath, curled over the wall, over Davis and onto the angle of post and bar. There had been 6 substitutions in the 2nd half and so the 5 minutes injury time was no surprise and in the main we defended it well with Lee Barnard earning the only standing ovation ever for running away from the goal and into the corner, where he waited for the defender before getting fouled.
Some keep ball with Lallana followed, along with the final whistle. Phew, got out of jail big time there but it’s a great win. You have to look at the bigger picture though and wonder just how many times we are going to get away with being poor in the first half and pulling it out the bag in the second. With a diamond midfield you rely on the full backs for width and today anyway, Butters didn’t get far enough forward and Harding delivered one good cross in ten. We’ve played that way in a fair few games now and it doesn’t work for us. What did work today of course was the substitutions with both Dale Stephens and particularly Johnno Pace making a massive difference.
Nigel’s post match interview seemed a bit more emotional than usual, as if he was high on the atmosphere of coming back from 2-0 down. He did acknowledge that the diamond didn’t sparkle much and vowed to address it – we shall see. I was waiting for Karl Robinson to come out with some complete rubbish after the game but the boy appears to have grown up a bit and complimented both his team and ours and gave a decent appraisal of the game, thus making me re-write everything I was going to say about him. Fair play Karl – it’s impossible to like the Fake Franchise but they did play pretty well and looked a decent side, even allowing for the Ginger Perm.
In a lot of games in League 1, we don’t get put under much pressure and so the defence and keeper have a pretty easy ride. I find it noticeable that when we go get put under a bit of pressure like today, or in the away game at Peterborough, certain players go to bits and my finger is pointing at Kelvin Davis and Dan Harding. Davis let in another poor goal (like at Peterborough) and Harding was giving me kittens being caught in two minds on several occasions. If you remember, he was terrible at Peterborough and was subbed to stop him getting sent off. Time to step up to the plate boys.
So, 9 games left and how many points do we need.... 22. Next up, Charlton at home on Tuesday, Bradley Wright-Phillips will score but we have to win.... and we will and there will be no Shakin’ Stevens.
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