He robs from the SkatesTwo games ago we played at Charlton and drew 1-1, having a perfectly good winning goal chalked off because the linesman was colourblind and couldn’t see the bright red shirt that was clearly playing Dany N’Guessen onside. Officials haven’t been good to us this season regarding Charlton as the only reason we’re playing them twice in such quick succession is because Andy D’Urso wanted to go home and play with his toys on Boxing Day when all the players and staff of both teams wanted to play.
Since the Fake Dons game, we’ve completed the signing of Jack Stephens from Plymouth who for this season, is only available for the under 18s. The club couldn’t resist having a swipe at The Echo who reported that he was signing a cash plus add-ons 4 year deal when in fact it was a straight fee and a player can only sign for 3 years on his first professional contract. As unbelievable as it may sound - Daily Echo in basic facts wrong shocker. Evening games are great for me, involving as they do, a mad dash home from Brighton before attempting 10 minutes of muti-tasking - this being, changing clothes, shoving some food down my neck, locating season ticket and letting the dog out before he pees on the floor. That done and it’s back in the car, over to Woolston, park up, Itchen Bridge.... 7.45 hurrah!!!
I heard the team news from outside the ground as it was being announced – Richardson, Dickson, Stephens in the starting XI – sounds like Nigel is playing Tinkerman again. As it transpires, Chappers and Butters are benched and Harding is beached altogether. Personally, I’ve been advocating Dickson playing for quite a while and Chappers has been a bit off recently so I’m happy enough. For Charlton, it’s all about Bradley Wright-Phillips who as we all know, is going to score. Today it’s also about Elliott in the Charlton goal whose shirt is bright pink. You could wear that if you were going to a fancy dress party dressed as a penis. If I was a keeper and they’d given me that to wear, it would have been returned to the kit man at 100mph with a demand for a green or a yellow one.
As the teams line up at the start, I cast a quick eye over to the Charlton support which is at a guess, numbering about 300 – truly pathetic. I wonder if when you’re a player and you come out to be greeted by that – it’s got to be a bit deflating. We took over 3000 to a midweek game at their place two weeks ago and whilst I’m not saying we’re fantastic, 300ish is an abysmal number of travelling supporters from a relatively big club for a geographically close game.
Saints had the first chance when they were awarded a free kick on the left hand edge of the box when Christian Dailly jumped for a header and was surprised that the ref spotted both his hands on top of Sir Rickie’s head. Sir Rickie’s hit the free kick well but the Pen1s managed to punch it away. Charlton broke down the left wing with Richardson conspicuously absent and sent in a dangerous cross which was missed by BWP and sliced horribly wide by Wagstaff. Ah Wagstaff! What a pathetic blouse of a footballer. Twice in quick succession he was run off the ball by Ryan Dickson and both times he laid on the ground waving his arms around pleading for a free kick.
Both challenges were 100% not a foul and if Charlton had had any fans there - they’d be embarrassed. After ten minutes, Dad turns to me and comments that Guly hasn’t touched the ball yet which is right enough. He’s stayed out wide but hardly been near the ball all game. 30 seconds later and Sir Rickie plays a ball into Barnard who lays it off in front of the Gulyman who is in acres and running in on the pink one. I was 100% confident he was going to score and he didn’t disappoint and what’s this, a first half goal!
Dickson and Lallana were terrorising the right hand side of the Charlton defence and Charlton were limited in their approach, mainly trying to play balls over the top for BWP to run onto. Many of these balls however, resulted in Jaidi v BWP heading competitions which was a bit like Monster Truck v Tricycle. I was hoping to see the Jaidi ‘Train’ move where everyone in his path gets killed but he was finding it easy enough just jumping and cleanly powering it away.
Hammond and Stephens of course hadn’t had the necessary time to get used to eachother and were therefore occupying the same area of the pitch for much of the time. A lot of our attacking impetus seemed to break down in the centre with Stephens in particular taking pace out of the attacks. In the main we were keeping the ball well enough though with Barnard and Lallana a constant threat.
Wagstaff then demonstrated that there may be a footballer in there after all with a decent drive from about 20 yards which Kelvin pushed away. Disruption ahoy a few minutes later as all eyes were on a Saints attack and no one was looking at Stephens who was crumpled in a heap in the centre circle, the victim of what is assumed to be a late, off the ball tackle. Off he went on a stretcher to be replaced by Chappers who was wearing the latest footballers fashion accessory, suspender belts on the back of his legs. Anyone remember the Robbie Fowler nose plaster?
Half time and 50% of the Charlton fans disappeared to the concourse whilst the remaining 6 stayed in their seats.
It was a kind on nondescript start to the second half with an airing of Sloop John B.... Bradley Wright-Phillips, he’s always offside. Great stuff but all was well with the world just before the hour mark as Hammond fired in a shot which was pushed wide by the Pink member to Guly who weighed up the options before pulling back for Barnard to tap in at the back post for 2-0. The Northam started chanting “The Saints are going up” which is a chant I will save until it is mathematically certain.
The sound of chickens being counted was silenced when Lallana went down in a heap and after a minute was helped off and replaced by Oscar the Ninja so we replaced a tricky skilful, beautifully balanced player with Bambi on Ice and his Amazing Uncoordinated Legs.
I was mildly narked with my fellow Saints fans a minute later when BWP was substituted. There were Saints fans actually applauding him off and not ironically with hand gestures. Hang on, he was useless for us for 3 years, got paid a fortune, he hardly seemed to try and he couldn’t hit a cows arse with a banjo, or a guitar, or a double bass, or the whole orchestra. One of the major positives of administration was getting rid of this waste of space and now I shall cease my rant.
He had gone and he hadn’t scored. Charlton persisted with their tactic of the ball over the top which had a few issues with the fine detail. 1) Radhi and Jose don’t miss much and 2) if you clear them it will run through to the keeper. Desperately poor. Saints for their part were quite content to run down the game but still looked a threat going forward with Barnard forcing the Penis into a save when fed by the Gulyman who wasn’t doing much but what he did was very effective.
And lo, from the substitutes bench appeared a vision, a mirage, a trick of the light. Yes, David Connolly was about to set foot on a football pitch in place of The Gulyman and so we ended the game with three out and out forwards on the pitch which was kind of strange. I guess that Johnno Pace is being held back for games that are tougher than this one. Not a lot happened in the last ten, save for Connolly showing that he has better off the ball movement then all the rest of the forwards and Ryan Dickson tidying up a rare Charlton break.
It was a victory that was as routine as they come as Charlton were poor in the first half and then they got worse. Some of that was down to Saints not letting them settle at all and strong defensive play from the whole back 4 and Hammond which didn’t allow them to create anything much. A lot of it was down to the fact that Charlton were rubbish and have nothing to play for this season. That said, I think Charlton had one of the best players on the pitch in Miguel Llera who always seemed to be in the way. Charlton’s fans couldn’t even be arsed to boo Frazer Richardson who left them for us and annoyed them in doing so. Very odd.
Nigel’s post match interview brought the news that Lallana was taken off as a precaution and that he should be fine which if true, is what we want to hear as the team has a distinct lack of creativity when he is missing. Also, it was noticeable today that every time he got the ball, Charlton had 3 players round him so he opens up lots of space for others which partially explains why Dickson had such a good game. Dale Stephens injury seemed to be much worse as the stretcher was involved but nothing confirmed as yet. There was no talk of buses and no one was in or out of the building but listen, it was about winning a game of football, simple as that.
We now have a relatively long break of 3 days before a trip to Leyton Orient who are making a late attempt to nick Bournemouth’s playoff spot. Following that we have a midweek trip to Rochdale who are also just outside the playoff places so Saints are going to be the average Bournemouth fans 2nd favourite team for the next two matches. No, they hate us, honestly.
We are now two points behind 2nd placed Huddersfield with two games in hand and all looks good. Another interesting game this weekend is Huddersfield vs Peterborough – a draw would be nice. 8 games to go, 20 points needed.
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