Johnno practices sliding the ball off of his face.
After the Rochdale defeat and the using up of one of our games in hand, we now faced relegation threatened Bristol Rovers. Strange things happen when we play Bristol Rovers like us winning 4-0 at their place and the manager getting sacked. I guess the strangest thing today would be if we didn’t win.
The main news of the week was the pathetic allocation we had been given for the Brentford away game as the Police said that they were worried about being able to police a large 12,000 crowd. Strange one. Dad and I went to the ticket office and handed in the form to apply for Brentford tickets. We apply more in hope than expectation as it would take a miracle and a load of incorrectly filled in forms for us to get lucky as we haven’t been away all season. I can’t believe there will be about 5000 empty seats and in fact there won’t as there will be a load of Saints in the Brentford end. If the Police were worried about the crowd control then they’re going to have a lot more to worry about as a result of their decision. Idiots.
Back to today and as kick off approached, it was nice to see a decent away following in the ground and it was clear that a few of our ‘missing 10,000’ had made the trip as well. The sun was shining and even the paper towel dispensers in the Gents, were populated with paper towels. The much anticipated return of Adam Lallana didn’t happen and given our lack of width at Spotland, it was a bit worrying to see both The Gulyman and Johnno Pace in the starting line up, neither of whom are wingers. Dicko moved to left back and Butters and Richardson swapped over again with the former getting the start in a scenario which is a bit like when Shilton and Clemence played alternate games for England in the late 70s. Chaplow returned from missing the Rochdale game to add baldness to the bench. Someone notices that there is a female linesperson and it all goes a bit Andy Gray amongst the older residents of the Kingsland Rest Home Stand which is fitting as it is non other than Sian Massey, the lino at the centre of the storm.
The game starts and the Whining Idiot Chuckle brother moans when Sir Rickie doesn’t win the first header and then again when Stephens (I think) commits the first foul. Two moans in three minutes or one every 90 seconds. It’s a lightening pace to start off at – can he keep it up for the full 90?
Ignoring him for a second, Johnno is on the left with Guly on the right. From the first time Rovers get the ball it is obvious that Johnno doesn’t have much idea where he is supposed to be from a defensive point of view as he handed a runner over to Dickson who was already marking someone. Player Manager Campbell eventually finds himself in space but his shot is blocked by a flying Portuguese man of war.
Saints are a bit shaky and the ball gets played over the top to Kuffour who is a least 5 yards offside which the linesman would have seen if he’d been anywhere near up with play. The flag stays down and Superkelv comes flying out to block the airshot as Kuffour swings and misses. I can confirm that this was the male linesman.
Saints finally string something together on 15 minutes as Barnard comes left and chips in a superb cross which is met on the volley by the Gulyman and with three quarters of SMS on its feet, Gas keeper Logan throws a foot at it and kicks it away at the near post. Great effort, great save.
The referee Mr Whitestone has obviously got tired of 23,000 people watching the football and decides to make 23,000 watch him instead as Stephens gets totally trashed with a tackle which is nowhere near the ball and totally pre-meditaded, which was deemed not bad enough for a booking. In that one second he gave the signal that everyone could kick lumps out of eachother and it was just a case of who got hacked down next. Dickson was the unfortunate recipient of a really crap late tackle and then the moron got his book out. From then on it was stop-start where for 20 minutes, tackling wasn’t allowed and a free kick was given every time there was a challenge.
Trying to take the attention away from the ref was Danny Butterfield who treated us to five consecutive misplaced passes in a row, every single one being greeted with universal moaning from a hell of a lot of people. He got out of the rut by collecting a superb Dicko cross which no one had attacked and swinging it back in to Johnno Pace who had a free header from six yards. From the way that the header slid off his face, down onto ground and onto the bar – we can assume that heading is not a Johnno Pace strong point.
Lee Barnard is a 100% trier which endears him to the fans but he does have an annoying streak in him and it surfaced again on the half hour as he had a dive in the Rovers box. To be fair he didn’t appeal but it all kicked off which players getting his face and it forced the whistling muppet to take action which he duly did with both Barney and Player Manager Campbell getting booked.
The big man had a problem and Radhi has to go off to be replaced by Dan Seaborne who suddenly became the creative outlet for the side with everyone flooding him with the ball. As Hammond and Stephens were not making themselves available for a pass, guess what happened, Boom... From one such hoof, the ball was heading out to Johnno Pace and as it sailed over his head, he stuck up and arm and caught it. Linesman (Female) flagged as it wasn’t out of play, Johnno got booked and everyone went nuts at the ref. Though I don’t like defnding the berk, he had to book him as the rules state that a deliberate handball is a booking. Though it was stupid and harmless and Johnno obviously thought the ball was out, it was deliberate and therefore he had to get booked. Referees are not allowed to have common sense.
Half time arrived and though we’d played ok and created a few chances, it was going to take more than that against a determined Gas side who had parked the bus a bit. I assume this is not the Nigel Adkins party Bus. The moan count from the Whining Bastard stood at 20. 20 separate moans in 45 minutes so one every two and a bit minutes in a really whiny voice. I may move my season ticket next year.
The second half started at a much faster pace and a clearly fired up Deano picked up a booking for one of those Wotton tackles that was so late it was nearly Sunday. Then started the procession towards the Rovers goal with Johnno pace playing a neat 1-2 with Sir Rickie before poking wide from about 8 yards. At this point, call it blind optimism if you like but I was totally convinced that we were going to score.
That confidence took a bit of a knock five minutes later when following another Dickson surge to the line and cross, Barney went up for a header and landed awkwardly to depart on a stretcher. At least there were no flashing blue lights this time. He was replaced with David Connolly who again, had been given a day pass from the Holmes and Connolly Suite of the SFC Rehabilitation Centre.
More chances came and went as it became like the Alamo. Connolly worked some space and hung up a superb cross which Sir Rickie managed to head over from about 7 yards. He had to clamber all over a defender to get to it but he still should have scored. Then Butters put over a beauty which took out the keeper and landed beyond the far post on Johnno Pace’s head and unsurprisingly, he headed it in the wrong direction, choosing backwards instead of going for the gaping goal.
Johnno could have had three goals but he had none and was replaced with Dany N’Guessan. Personally I would have taken the Gulyman off as he wasn’t doing much and at least Johnno was getting into position to miss. Sir Rickie had another shot which fizzed just wide. Tick tock, tick tock, 80 minutes gone… still confident.
The breakthrough finally came on 82 minutes when the improving Stephens fed Sir Rickie who slipped a neat ball through to The Gulyman who took it in his stride, gave it some severe Samba rhythm as he danced round two players before smashing it past Logan for a superb finish and thus the SMS faithful heaved a huge sigh of relief and the ones near me even stopped moaning for a bit.
The Gas threw on two subs up front who looked lively but they were never going to get back into it though there was one offside call (well spotted Sian) which caused a few heart flutters. The last meaningful action of the game was Sir Rickie feeding in N’Guessan who smashed a powerful left foot shot which Logan tipped over to continue the annoyingly good game he was having.
Final whistle and phew!!! It was a close run thing but as I said, from about 60 minutes onwards, I was 100% confident that we would score even if I would have substituted the goalscorer when Forte went off. Shows how much I know. Whilst I’m showing how much I know, assuming Barnard is out next week, I’d start with Connolly and then bring on Johnno when Connolly gets tired / injured. I thought Connolly was superb when he came on today, showing better movement and more intelligence than virtually every other player in this league aside from Paul Wotton. A mention too, for Dany N’Guessan who, despite being pronounced Na-Goosen by the bloke next to me, proved how much better it is to have some natural width in the team. Fair play to Bristol Rovers who made it difficult for us and with the spirit of their team and their excellent fans backing, I hope they stay up.
Maybe it was the tension as we get down to the nuts of the season but I really noticed today how much some people moan. I’m not talking about the Whiny Cluless Chuckle Brother Twat who sits behind me, I mean he’s got something seriously wrong with him but there were loads today. Bloody hell, it isn’t going to be easy is it?
My Adkins Bingo card showed that he said ‘chipping away’ four times in his post match interview. There was no mention of ‘Bus’, or ‘in the building’ which I hope will be saved for the end of season promotion party when he can use all the Adkins-isms in one sentence. In fact, if there are any players reading (I strongly suspect that there isn’t). I want to hear a player do an interview where they say ‘simple as that’, ‘its about winning games of football’, ‘listen’, ‘shut him down’ as well as the others mentioned here. Slightly more importantly, it sounds like Lallana will be fit for next week and I guess we’ll learn more about Barnard and Big Radhi in the coming days.
As it turns out, a draw today would have been a disaster as Huddersfield managed to win at Charlton and Peterborough came back from a goal down to win 2-1 v Plymouth who irritatingly, managed to miss a penalty in the last minute. Brighton duly won at Walsall to confirm that they are the Champions though it was interesting that they didn’t get the trophy at Walsall – they’ll get it at their next home game which is next Saturday... against Southampton. Hopefully they will be in party mood and not be 100% on it – hopefully they will get the trophy before the game and wind everyone up. What I know is that it would send some signal if we managed to be the first team to win there this season.
Today (Monday) saw the announcement of the League 1 Team of the Year which is bizarrely lopsided in our favour with 5 of our players in it and only 3 from Brighton who are currently 16 points ahead of us. This is voted for by the League 1 players (which will be lost on many Brighton fans I’m sure) and it’s a bit embarrassing. We may have the individuals but it’s a team game I guess. Anyway, well done to Kelvin Davis, Dan Harding, Jose Fonte, Adam Lallana and Alex Chamberlain. Now the Brighton fans will have even more reason not to like us.
5 games to go, 12 points needed.
The main news of the week was the pathetic allocation we had been given for the Brentford away game as the Police said that they were worried about being able to police a large 12,000 crowd. Strange one. Dad and I went to the ticket office and handed in the form to apply for Brentford tickets. We apply more in hope than expectation as it would take a miracle and a load of incorrectly filled in forms for us to get lucky as we haven’t been away all season. I can’t believe there will be about 5000 empty seats and in fact there won’t as there will be a load of Saints in the Brentford end. If the Police were worried about the crowd control then they’re going to have a lot more to worry about as a result of their decision. Idiots.
Back to today and as kick off approached, it was nice to see a decent away following in the ground and it was clear that a few of our ‘missing 10,000’ had made the trip as well. The sun was shining and even the paper towel dispensers in the Gents, were populated with paper towels. The much anticipated return of Adam Lallana didn’t happen and given our lack of width at Spotland, it was a bit worrying to see both The Gulyman and Johnno Pace in the starting line up, neither of whom are wingers. Dicko moved to left back and Butters and Richardson swapped over again with the former getting the start in a scenario which is a bit like when Shilton and Clemence played alternate games for England in the late 70s. Chaplow returned from missing the Rochdale game to add baldness to the bench. Someone notices that there is a female linesperson and it all goes a bit Andy Gray amongst the older residents of the Kingsland Rest Home Stand which is fitting as it is non other than Sian Massey, the lino at the centre of the storm.
The game starts and the Whining Idiot Chuckle brother moans when Sir Rickie doesn’t win the first header and then again when Stephens (I think) commits the first foul. Two moans in three minutes or one every 90 seconds. It’s a lightening pace to start off at – can he keep it up for the full 90?
Ignoring him for a second, Johnno is on the left with Guly on the right. From the first time Rovers get the ball it is obvious that Johnno doesn’t have much idea where he is supposed to be from a defensive point of view as he handed a runner over to Dickson who was already marking someone. Player Manager Campbell eventually finds himself in space but his shot is blocked by a flying Portuguese man of war.
Saints are a bit shaky and the ball gets played over the top to Kuffour who is a least 5 yards offside which the linesman would have seen if he’d been anywhere near up with play. The flag stays down and Superkelv comes flying out to block the airshot as Kuffour swings and misses. I can confirm that this was the male linesman.
Saints finally string something together on 15 minutes as Barnard comes left and chips in a superb cross which is met on the volley by the Gulyman and with three quarters of SMS on its feet, Gas keeper Logan throws a foot at it and kicks it away at the near post. Great effort, great save.
The referee Mr Whitestone has obviously got tired of 23,000 people watching the football and decides to make 23,000 watch him instead as Stephens gets totally trashed with a tackle which is nowhere near the ball and totally pre-meditaded, which was deemed not bad enough for a booking. In that one second he gave the signal that everyone could kick lumps out of eachother and it was just a case of who got hacked down next. Dickson was the unfortunate recipient of a really crap late tackle and then the moron got his book out. From then on it was stop-start where for 20 minutes, tackling wasn’t allowed and a free kick was given every time there was a challenge.
Trying to take the attention away from the ref was Danny Butterfield who treated us to five consecutive misplaced passes in a row, every single one being greeted with universal moaning from a hell of a lot of people. He got out of the rut by collecting a superb Dicko cross which no one had attacked and swinging it back in to Johnno Pace who had a free header from six yards. From the way that the header slid off his face, down onto ground and onto the bar – we can assume that heading is not a Johnno Pace strong point.
Lee Barnard is a 100% trier which endears him to the fans but he does have an annoying streak in him and it surfaced again on the half hour as he had a dive in the Rovers box. To be fair he didn’t appeal but it all kicked off which players getting his face and it forced the whistling muppet to take action which he duly did with both Barney and Player Manager Campbell getting booked.
The big man had a problem and Radhi has to go off to be replaced by Dan Seaborne who suddenly became the creative outlet for the side with everyone flooding him with the ball. As Hammond and Stephens were not making themselves available for a pass, guess what happened, Boom... From one such hoof, the ball was heading out to Johnno Pace and as it sailed over his head, he stuck up and arm and caught it. Linesman (Female) flagged as it wasn’t out of play, Johnno got booked and everyone went nuts at the ref. Though I don’t like defnding the berk, he had to book him as the rules state that a deliberate handball is a booking. Though it was stupid and harmless and Johnno obviously thought the ball was out, it was deliberate and therefore he had to get booked. Referees are not allowed to have common sense.
Half time arrived and though we’d played ok and created a few chances, it was going to take more than that against a determined Gas side who had parked the bus a bit. I assume this is not the Nigel Adkins party Bus. The moan count from the Whining Bastard stood at 20. 20 separate moans in 45 minutes so one every two and a bit minutes in a really whiny voice. I may move my season ticket next year.
The second half started at a much faster pace and a clearly fired up Deano picked up a booking for one of those Wotton tackles that was so late it was nearly Sunday. Then started the procession towards the Rovers goal with Johnno pace playing a neat 1-2 with Sir Rickie before poking wide from about 8 yards. At this point, call it blind optimism if you like but I was totally convinced that we were going to score.
That confidence took a bit of a knock five minutes later when following another Dickson surge to the line and cross, Barney went up for a header and landed awkwardly to depart on a stretcher. At least there were no flashing blue lights this time. He was replaced with David Connolly who again, had been given a day pass from the Holmes and Connolly Suite of the SFC Rehabilitation Centre.
More chances came and went as it became like the Alamo. Connolly worked some space and hung up a superb cross which Sir Rickie managed to head over from about 7 yards. He had to clamber all over a defender to get to it but he still should have scored. Then Butters put over a beauty which took out the keeper and landed beyond the far post on Johnno Pace’s head and unsurprisingly, he headed it in the wrong direction, choosing backwards instead of going for the gaping goal.
Johnno could have had three goals but he had none and was replaced with Dany N’Guessan. Personally I would have taken the Gulyman off as he wasn’t doing much and at least Johnno was getting into position to miss. Sir Rickie had another shot which fizzed just wide. Tick tock, tick tock, 80 minutes gone… still confident.
The breakthrough finally came on 82 minutes when the improving Stephens fed Sir Rickie who slipped a neat ball through to The Gulyman who took it in his stride, gave it some severe Samba rhythm as he danced round two players before smashing it past Logan for a superb finish and thus the SMS faithful heaved a huge sigh of relief and the ones near me even stopped moaning for a bit.
The Gas threw on two subs up front who looked lively but they were never going to get back into it though there was one offside call (well spotted Sian) which caused a few heart flutters. The last meaningful action of the game was Sir Rickie feeding in N’Guessan who smashed a powerful left foot shot which Logan tipped over to continue the annoyingly good game he was having.
Final whistle and phew!!! It was a close run thing but as I said, from about 60 minutes onwards, I was 100% confident that we would score even if I would have substituted the goalscorer when Forte went off. Shows how much I know. Whilst I’m showing how much I know, assuming Barnard is out next week, I’d start with Connolly and then bring on Johnno when Connolly gets tired / injured. I thought Connolly was superb when he came on today, showing better movement and more intelligence than virtually every other player in this league aside from Paul Wotton. A mention too, for Dany N’Guessan who, despite being pronounced Na-Goosen by the bloke next to me, proved how much better it is to have some natural width in the team. Fair play to Bristol Rovers who made it difficult for us and with the spirit of their team and their excellent fans backing, I hope they stay up.
Maybe it was the tension as we get down to the nuts of the season but I really noticed today how much some people moan. I’m not talking about the Whiny Cluless Chuckle Brother Twat who sits behind me, I mean he’s got something seriously wrong with him but there were loads today. Bloody hell, it isn’t going to be easy is it?
My Adkins Bingo card showed that he said ‘chipping away’ four times in his post match interview. There was no mention of ‘Bus’, or ‘in the building’ which I hope will be saved for the end of season promotion party when he can use all the Adkins-isms in one sentence. In fact, if there are any players reading (I strongly suspect that there isn’t). I want to hear a player do an interview where they say ‘simple as that’, ‘its about winning games of football’, ‘listen’, ‘shut him down’ as well as the others mentioned here. Slightly more importantly, it sounds like Lallana will be fit for next week and I guess we’ll learn more about Barnard and Big Radhi in the coming days.
As it turns out, a draw today would have been a disaster as Huddersfield managed to win at Charlton and Peterborough came back from a goal down to win 2-1 v Plymouth who irritatingly, managed to miss a penalty in the last minute. Brighton duly won at Walsall to confirm that they are the Champions though it was interesting that they didn’t get the trophy at Walsall – they’ll get it at their next home game which is next Saturday... against Southampton. Hopefully they will be in party mood and not be 100% on it – hopefully they will get the trophy before the game and wind everyone up. What I know is that it would send some signal if we managed to be the first team to win there this season.
Today (Monday) saw the announcement of the League 1 Team of the Year which is bizarrely lopsided in our favour with 5 of our players in it and only 3 from Brighton who are currently 16 points ahead of us. This is voted for by the League 1 players (which will be lost on many Brighton fans I’m sure) and it’s a bit embarrassing. We may have the individuals but it’s a team game I guess. Anyway, well done to Kelvin Davis, Dan Harding, Jose Fonte, Adam Lallana and Alex Chamberlain. Now the Brighton fans will have even more reason not to like us.
5 games to go, 12 points needed.
Another enjoyable write-up; thanks. I agree that DC had a great 30 minutes (probably the best I've seen from him) and look forward to him being our Big Surprise at Brighton next week.
ReplyDeleteI have to miss the next 3 games so I'll be relying on "minus10" to tell me what really happened on the day!!
Next season, why not move a bit toward the Northam end of Kingsland? Come to Block 33 (row S) where we have a good team spirit!!!