Hey Shorty, France are shit !!!WEDNESDAY 16th JUNE
The final games of the first round of matches take place today with Honduras facing Chile, two teams who I knew nothing about. Chile have been tipped by many to be a surprise package and they certainly played some good stuff, battering Honduras for pretty much the whole match but only winning 1-0. They play an almost Spanish style of football so it should be good to watch when the two teams meet in their group. Today though, Spain were playing Switzerland and set about them in their usual way of pass, pass, pass and you’re not having it. I’m sure the possession stats at one point showed Spain with 104% but despite all this, all they didn’t test the keeper in the first half. Alan Shearer, Lee Dixon and Clarence Seedorf were all confidently predicting a Spain win, ‘matter of time’ and all that so they must have been amused to see the Swiss take the lead after 52 minutes with a goal that involved a cartwheel, a kick in the head, bodies everywhere and a toe poke finish from 3 yards. Spain continued to play some beautiful football but the closest they got was Xavi Alonso smashing a shot onto the bar. It was a strange effort for this World Cup in that it was from outside the box and he managed to hit it properly and not send it into orbit or bobble it along the ground. It must be the ball that’s causing this but maybe players are getting the hang of it. Anyhow – the Swiss held on for 1-0 to prove what you can achieve with hard work. Spain should still be ok as they’ll beat Honduras and should beat Chile but I reckon the Chileans will give them a scare. Spain will do well to win the group now so if they go through as second place, are likely to play Brazil in the 2nd Round.
South Africa played Uruguay in the first of the 2nd round of matches and got hammered. As I said earlier, I’m wanting them to go out and this has virtually done for them. 1-0 down to a deflected Forlan effort and being outplayed, their keeper hacked down Suarez, the Uruguay forward who looks about 12. Penalty, red card, five minute delay whilst new keeper puts his boots and gloves on, Forlan, 2-0, Good night South Africa and the fucking horns fell silent for a minute if blissful silence. Salt was rubbed in the wound in the 94th minute with a 3rd goal was bundled in. Diego Forlan looks a great player, the complete opposite of what he looked in his years at Man Utd. All Saints fans remember his first goal for them which was of course, against us when he ripped his shirt off and won the ball back whilst trying to put his shirt back on.
So, Uruguay now have 4 points, South Africa, France and Mexico 1. What we need is Mexico to beat France tomorrow and then Uruguay and Mexico can hold hands for 90 minutes and draw 0-0 which would eliminate both France and South Africa. As cunning plans go, it’s pretty cunning.
So, everyone’s played once and the best so far…. Germany, the worst….. France.
THURSDAY 17th JUNE
Today is the day that the World Cup actually got intertesting as decent football broke out, especially in the Argentina v South Korea match, though it has to be said that a lot of this was down to abysmal defending. Gonzalo Higuain scored a hat-trick from a combined distance of 4 yards in addition to a comedy own goal and Korea’s goal was down to an Argie giving them the ball ten yards out and asking them to have a shot. All cameras again were on Diego Cocaine on the sidelines and much though I dislike the little bastard, his press conferences are amusing. He followed up his assertion that his players could have sex as long as the women did all the work by telling the world that his girlfriend was 31, blonde and beautiful.
Greece and Nigeria were producing one of those games that is mind buggeringly dreadful until one of the Nigerians, in a dispute over a throw in, decided the best way to sort it out was to boot the Greek player in the thigh, right in front of the referee. Off you go and even a plea of temporary insanity won’t save you pal. Nigeria were 1-0 up at the time but Greece soon equalized with a big defletion before winning it in the second half with a Jubulani goal. A shot was thumped in from the edge of the box and was heading to the keepers left until is suddenly diverted and hit his hand just in front of his right knee. The rebound was not kind and so Greece won 2-1 and now have a very decent chance of going through, unlike Nigeria who need a miracle.
Also needing a miracle are plucky France who despite being overwhelming underdogs against Mexico, managed to keep the score down to 2-0 is a display of passion, spirit and determination. The determination and steel of Evra and Gallas, the world class ability of Abidal,Gignac and Govou. To be honest, France were completely consistent with their first match – absolutely dreadful with no team spirit, hence at the end, all the remaining players warming up miles away from the bench so Raymond Domenech Football Genius couldn’t have put them on, even if he’d wanted to. Mexico on the other hand were pretty handy with a goal from Hernandez and a penalty from Blanco who looks the same age and weight as me (41 and 15 stone). The penalty was hilarious – Barrera ran at the defence, Evra gave up and just let him run into the box where he waited until Abidal dived in like a twat and fell over him.
Goodbye France… my cunning plan from yesterday is taking shape … France and South Africa out… couldn’t have scripted that one better myself.
The final games of the first round of matches take place today with Honduras facing Chile, two teams who I knew nothing about. Chile have been tipped by many to be a surprise package and they certainly played some good stuff, battering Honduras for pretty much the whole match but only winning 1-0. They play an almost Spanish style of football so it should be good to watch when the two teams meet in their group. Today though, Spain were playing Switzerland and set about them in their usual way of pass, pass, pass and you’re not having it. I’m sure the possession stats at one point showed Spain with 104% but despite all this, all they didn’t test the keeper in the first half. Alan Shearer, Lee Dixon and Clarence Seedorf were all confidently predicting a Spain win, ‘matter of time’ and all that so they must have been amused to see the Swiss take the lead after 52 minutes with a goal that involved a cartwheel, a kick in the head, bodies everywhere and a toe poke finish from 3 yards. Spain continued to play some beautiful football but the closest they got was Xavi Alonso smashing a shot onto the bar. It was a strange effort for this World Cup in that it was from outside the box and he managed to hit it properly and not send it into orbit or bobble it along the ground. It must be the ball that’s causing this but maybe players are getting the hang of it. Anyhow – the Swiss held on for 1-0 to prove what you can achieve with hard work. Spain should still be ok as they’ll beat Honduras and should beat Chile but I reckon the Chileans will give them a scare. Spain will do well to win the group now so if they go through as second place, are likely to play Brazil in the 2nd Round.
South Africa played Uruguay in the first of the 2nd round of matches and got hammered. As I said earlier, I’m wanting them to go out and this has virtually done for them. 1-0 down to a deflected Forlan effort and being outplayed, their keeper hacked down Suarez, the Uruguay forward who looks about 12. Penalty, red card, five minute delay whilst new keeper puts his boots and gloves on, Forlan, 2-0, Good night South Africa and the fucking horns fell silent for a minute if blissful silence. Salt was rubbed in the wound in the 94th minute with a 3rd goal was bundled in. Diego Forlan looks a great player, the complete opposite of what he looked in his years at Man Utd. All Saints fans remember his first goal for them which was of course, against us when he ripped his shirt off and won the ball back whilst trying to put his shirt back on.
So, Uruguay now have 4 points, South Africa, France and Mexico 1. What we need is Mexico to beat France tomorrow and then Uruguay and Mexico can hold hands for 90 minutes and draw 0-0 which would eliminate both France and South Africa. As cunning plans go, it’s pretty cunning.
So, everyone’s played once and the best so far…. Germany, the worst….. France.
THURSDAY 17th JUNE
Today is the day that the World Cup actually got intertesting as decent football broke out, especially in the Argentina v South Korea match, though it has to be said that a lot of this was down to abysmal defending. Gonzalo Higuain scored a hat-trick from a combined distance of 4 yards in addition to a comedy own goal and Korea’s goal was down to an Argie giving them the ball ten yards out and asking them to have a shot. All cameras again were on Diego Cocaine on the sidelines and much though I dislike the little bastard, his press conferences are amusing. He followed up his assertion that his players could have sex as long as the women did all the work by telling the world that his girlfriend was 31, blonde and beautiful.
Greece and Nigeria were producing one of those games that is mind buggeringly dreadful until one of the Nigerians, in a dispute over a throw in, decided the best way to sort it out was to boot the Greek player in the thigh, right in front of the referee. Off you go and even a plea of temporary insanity won’t save you pal. Nigeria were 1-0 up at the time but Greece soon equalized with a big defletion before winning it in the second half with a Jubulani goal. A shot was thumped in from the edge of the box and was heading to the keepers left until is suddenly diverted and hit his hand just in front of his right knee. The rebound was not kind and so Greece won 2-1 and now have a very decent chance of going through, unlike Nigeria who need a miracle.
Also needing a miracle are plucky France who despite being overwhelming underdogs against Mexico, managed to keep the score down to 2-0 is a display of passion, spirit and determination. The determination and steel of Evra and Gallas, the world class ability of Abidal,Gignac and Govou. To be honest, France were completely consistent with their first match – absolutely dreadful with no team spirit, hence at the end, all the remaining players warming up miles away from the bench so Raymond Domenech Football Genius couldn’t have put them on, even if he’d wanted to. Mexico on the other hand were pretty handy with a goal from Hernandez and a penalty from Blanco who looks the same age and weight as me (41 and 15 stone). The penalty was hilarious – Barrera ran at the defence, Evra gave up and just let him run into the box where he waited until Abidal dived in like a twat and fell over him.
Goodbye France… my cunning plan from yesterday is taking shape … France and South Africa out… couldn’t have scripted that one better myself.
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