Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Premier League Match 36 - Southampton 2 Everton 0


Big Vic says "Get out of my way!"

With three meaningless games to go, we welcome Everton to St Mary’s and they still have an outside chance of claiming the coveted 4th Champions League spot where you get to play a few qualifying rounds in outposts of European football like Kazakhstan, Moldova, Azerbaijan and Scotland.  Win those and you qualify for the Champions League proper.  It’s what’s known as the Arsenal Route.  However, they ballsed up a home game with Palace a week or so back and now have to win pretty much every game to make it, including of course, this one.  Roberto Martinez has done a lot better than I expected him to since taking over from David Moyes in the summer.  Talking of Moyes – whatever happened to him?  Last I heard he was tieing up the loose ends on the already agreed Luke Shaw transfer to Manchester United…. Or maybe that was bullshit.

Martinez has got Everton playing better football and has given young players like John Stones and Ross Barkley a chance and they’ve done well.  They have the excellent Baines and Coleman at full backs and then there are the loan brigade which no matter how many times I talk about it, still never fails to piss me off. 

It’s been an interesting week at SFC with Les Reed releasing a statement which must have been like a plastic undersheet for any bedwetters out there.  No clubs have enquired about our players, no one has been given permission to speak to other clubs, everyone is under contract, the media are all full of shit.  He didn’t actually say the last bit but that was the message loud and clear.  As an attempt to placate irritated fans it was a good one.  Will it stop the media writing bullshit? Of course it won’t.  Will it make the first question of any news conference any different – probably not but if it was me, I’d just politely refer the interviewer to Les Reed’s statement, call him an twat and then walk out.

To the teams and Saints have a couple of changes with Morgan Schneiderlin picking up and injury and Corky coming in to play alongside Big Vic for the first time.  I’m interested to see how this works out.  We have also named Sam Gallagher in the starting XI with JWP dropping to the bench where he was joined by the usual suspects like Gazza, Big Jos, and Guly but also by Harrison Reed and Matty Targett.  Gaston was once again out injured, presumed waiting to be a sub at the World Cup.

I was looking forward to seeing Ross Barkley play and told my son to look out for him.  The first thing he did was get the ball straight from the kick off and give it away.  The next Everton touch wasn’t long in coming as Saints played keep ball and eventually worked it down the left to Sir Rickie who crossed towards Big Sam and Alcaraz showed all the defensive instincts he picked up under Martinez at Wigan and dived in to bullet a header past Howard to make it 1-0 in less than a minute.

Everton attempt to tear into us from the restart, helped by Barkley not giving the ball straight back to us this time.  Deulofeu, their on-fucking loan winger from Barcelona is given the ball and attempts to run past Nathaniel Clyne, once, twice, three times and gets dispossessed every time.  He’s too good for you son – give up!

Everton play some good stuff but Saints are better as a prolonged passing move again finds Sir Rickie on the left and this time he weights a beautiful ball along the ground and Steve Davis arrives and sidefoots wide from the edge of the box.  It’s a poor end to a fantastic move and brings much holding of heads from the Saints technical area.

It matters not a few minutes later though as Clyne gets a run down the wing and takes on England’s Number 1 left back Leighton Baines.  He does him for pace on the outside and fires over the cross, Stones and Alcaraz miss it and it hits Coleman on the head, back across Howard and inside the post – textbook header, great finish! 2-0.  The immediate chant of “We are Southampton, We Don’t Need to Score” was replaced with “Who Needs Rodriguez, We’ve Got Your Back Four”.  Love it! Come On!!!

The final 15 minutes of the half sees Lovren thump a header from a corner straight at Howard and Deulofeu works out that he’s not going to beat Clyne and dropping deep on the Everton right.  From there, on-fucking-loan-Deulofeu (to gove him his full title) crosses and on-fucking-loan-Lukaku heads over the bar from about 4 yards out.  On-fucking-loan-Gareth Barry then summons up the ghost of World Cup 2010 and gets dispossessed by Lallana and runs like he’s towing a caravan as he hauls him down and gets booked. In amongst all this, Lallana twists and turns in the box anf flips a cross over which hits Stones’ arm which is away from his body but yet again, not given.  It would have been harsh but I’ve seen them given – just never for us.  At least the ref is consistent few minutes later as Naismith attempts to put in a cross which hits the similarly outstretched arm of Lovren.

Half time comes and goes and one guy in the round the pitch relay takes a pot shot from half way which hits Everton sub McGeady on the head.  We’re two nil up without scoring a goal and it’s all very amusing but we have played well and we’ve certainly played better than Everton.  Big Sam has certainly got something and after a ropey opening fifteen minutes he’s started to be more confident and hold the ball up for others.  It’s interesting to see Sir Rickie in a designated deeper role as he’s getting on the ball more often than usual.  Highlight for me so far has been the midfield three and how can Gareth Barry be an England fringe player when Jack Cork isn’t.  The annoying woman with the radio who sits behind me has actually said something useful in that Roy Hodgson is here yet again.  I wonder what he’s made of Baines vs Shaw so far.

As the teams emerge it’s apparent that Martinez has replaced Barkley with Leon Osman which is odd when you think about it.  If you need to make a tactical switch to get back into the game, the answer is never ‘bring on Leon Osman’.  It just can’t be.

The second half starts and I was fearing a fast Everton start but our midfield holds firm and is magnificent.  Big Vic looks like he’s lost weight to me but he’s just awesome – smashing through people and using the ball intelligently.  It’s interesting to see Gareth Barry shit himself as well and bottle out of a tackle against the big man.  In addition, Corky and Steve Davis are just everywhere with Corky playing with more freedom knowing that Big Vic has his back.  From one forward run, he’s chopped down by the lumbering Barry to give us a free kick 25 yards out.  Up steps Sir Rickie, round the wall and it pings off the outside of the post with Tourette Tim shouting ‘fuck bollocks wanker’ as it flies past him.

Everton are playing a bit better this half though and Dejan has a bit of a rush of blood and launches a slide tackle at Osman from miles away.  Over he goes and it looks a penalty from where I am up the other end but the ref has a yellow card out and books him for diving.  Later replays show that he did in fact dive and was on his way down before Dejan got there and if he hadn’t started his fall early then he probably would have been given it..  If Dejan had done that in an away game it would have been a penalty which just goes to highlight the inconsistency of referees.  But for now anyway, Osman is a diving prick.

McGeady does get away down the left and fires in a cross which on-fucking-loan-Lukaku heads straight at King Artur who saves confidently.  To stem a bit of Everton pressure Mauricio brings on JWP for Big Sam with Sir Rickie moving up top.  Saints get back on top straight away and Lallana gets free on the right and tries to flick the ball over Stones who pats it down with a raised arm and clears it. The lino is looking right at it from 5 yards away and gives nothing.  It’s not even worth getting angry about any more but I do anyway and vent loud spleen at the lino which loses effect as I’m trying not to swear as I’m in the family centre.

Harrison Reed in on for Lallana as we need to add some Scholes to the proceedings and Guly is on for Steve Davis as we’ve exceeded the maximum number of gingers on the pitch at any one time which hopefully won’t lead to a points deduction.  There’s time for one more shot as JWP tried again to score his first league goal with a blast at Howard which he beats away in exaggerated fashion and the whistle goes and we’ve won… and comfortably… and Arsenal are in the Champions League again in all probability.

It was an odd second half in that I never felt that Everton we’re going to score and the reason for that is the fact that like last week we had a first choice back 4 and keeper and Big Vic.  Add to that the tenacious performances by Corky and Steve Davis and Everton didn’t really have a sniff which considering the quality they have is quite a pat on the back for our lads.  It’ll get spun as an Everton off day in the media but there you go.

I read an Everton blog before the game which informed me that Baines would prove that he was miles better than Shaw and that Coleman would tear Shaw a new one down the wing.  Also of course it predicted an Everton win.  How did that little lot work out for you lads?  Let me tell you, Shaw defensively was excellent and shat all over Baines who got left for dead by Clyney for the second goal and ended up getting injured and going off.  Then you have Coleman who scored a very deft header in the wrong net and didn’t beat Shaw once.  Oh yeah… and you lost.

Roy Hodgson would have seen all that and I think you could make a case for Shaw to be first choice now – not just vying with Ashley Cole for the last seat on the plane.  Whilst we’re at it – is there a better English right back than Nathaniel Clyne or a more in-form central midfielder than Jack Cork?  My question to Roy Hodgson is – have you got the balls to pick them ahead of the ‘big’ club boys. 

I loved our midfield three today – just awesome.  If Davis and Corky could stick the odd ball in the net then it would be perfect.  Big Vic was huge today, even winning one header above two men when he was sat on his arse.  I still maintain that if he’d been fit all season we’d have been top 6.

The PFA Player of the Year dinner happened on Sunday night and whilst predictably, Luis Suarez and Eden Hazard won the player and young player awards, both Adam Lallana and Luke Shaw got named in the Team of the Year which is pretty cool and means of course that the headline writers will disrespect Southampton even more.  Luke even got asked what it was like to be linked to big clubs.  Going back to the Hazard award, it seems a bit odd to me that a player can br bought from abroad for £30 million quid or whatever and win the Young player of the year award. To me, that should go to Luke Shaw or Ross Barkley who are still playing for the clubs they made their professional debut for.

Anyway – next up we have the trip to Swansea who are now safe from the drop. We are guaranteed to finish in 8th place in the league now so there’s absolutely no pressure on anyone so it should be a cracking game with a good atmosphere, especially as our travelling fans have only paid a fiver to get in.

Bring it on.




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