Showing posts with label japan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label japan. Show all posts

Sunday, July 21, 2024

Pre-Season Part 1 - Business Done Early

 

Let's Get To Work

Just a few weeks ago, Saints of course won the playoffs and planning for the new season started in earnest.  Playoffs instead of automatics meant we have less time than all the others as a result of us having three extra matches and so you need to hit the ground running to sort the squad out for what is already an almighty challenge…. But then The Euro’s happened and so it was all a bit slow.   The cogs have begun to turn however.

Summer business started with the recruitment of someone who we had been seen in the crowd on the big Wembley screens on that glorious day.  Sat next to Matt le Tissier in the crowd was one Adam Lallana and a few days later it turned out that not only was he there to support the boys and catch up with old friends, but he was there as a guest of the club because he was about to sign for us. At 36 years old, his best days are undoubtedly behind him but it’s an experienced head in a dressing room that is going to need them in the coming season.  There is the elephant in the room however, which is the fact that he didn’t exactly leave in the best of circumstances back in 2014. In 2014 he was in the England squad as Southampton captain and was out in Brazil in Roy Hodgson’s absolute clusterfuck World Cup campaign which saw us be the first team eliminated.   Roy had said he wanted no players conducting transfer business in Brazil but there was Adam, managing to get pictured signing a Liverpool shirt whilst still a Saints player and saying that he hoped he would be signing for them.  Not good PR that.



Lallana the Last Time He Played 90 Minutes


Upon his return, it appeared that he threw his toys out and refused to train before signing for the Scousers and being seen off with a two-line entry on the official Saints website.  If Twitter had been a big thing back then it would have had #FuckOff, #GoodRiddance and #Judas all over it. He tried to calm it all down by taking out a full-page advert in The Echo which just made him look #ThickAsMince.  The question for Saints fans is “how long do you want to hold a grudge for?“.  Speaking as someone who can hold a grudge with the best of them, even I can’t be arsed to get to ten years.  The bottom line is we’ve given a player a one-year deal and he is going to try to have a positive input, so I have no problem with him being here. He’s not going to be a 90-minute player because he never was, even when he was in his early 20s but we’re going to need everybody - fans and players pulling in the same direction so I see no point in being angry about him being here.  Other options are available of course.

Next up was the official unveiling of Taylor Harwood-Bellis as a Saints player once July 1st ticked around. This was of course revealed in the aftermath of the playoff final, as if we needed any more good news that day, and here he is, England’s future centre half and probable Southampton captain if we can hang onto him for long enough… and that will be the issue if he continues to develop as he should.


THB - About to Embark on the Mother of all Benders


Another playoff hero was Alex McCarthy who managed to earn himself another two-year contract with his very solid performances in the run in to promotion.  A prime example of how things can change very quickly in football and as things stand, he’ll be a first choice Premier League goalkeeper again in August unless we bring in someone else.

Russell Martin signed a new contract as well which was an unexpected bit of good news.  It was a surprise to me as I assume that his initial contract included a promotion bonus and a higher level of pay if wen went up.  What it does do however is say that Sport Republic trust him and want to back him and to me, it says that they are going to keep their nerve even if we do have a wobbly patch, which is undoubtedly going to happen.


More Free Taylor, Rather than Free Tella


The problem position of left back was then addressed with Charlie Taylor arriving from Burnley on a free transfer. Having spent seven years out of the last eight in the Premier League, he’s a player that certainly has the correct level of experience.  It’s not a signing to set the pulse racing but it is solid as we absolutely know that he can do it at this level and again brings Premier League experience that we don’t have much of. I would imagine, all things being equal, that he will be the starting left back or left wing back, with Ryan Manning as his back up.

Next up was Ronnie Edwards, a promising young centre half signed from Peterborough. He has been in the England Under-21 squad with THB and Saints have been interested in him for about two years but finally got the deal done for about £3 million quid which is almost a no-lose gamble.   Fans of other clubs are certainly seeing this as a good deal and an impressive piece of transfer business.  Time will tell of course.  I would anticipate Ronnie being a back up to start with, but he will certainly get minutes as the season goes on.  He has played at Championship level before but this is obviously going to be a massive step up for him.


Future's Bright


And here’s another centre back with Nathan Wood joining from Swansea.  Apparently, we offered £7 million this time last year, but Swansea didn’t want to do business with us after the Russell Martin compensations dick waving contest, that their board was involved in with ours.  So anyway, fast forward a year and we sign him for £3 million.  Maybe they think they’ll win the £2 million they are suing Russell for and maybe they think that £3 million plus £2 million equals £7 million.  They certainly taught us a lesson there.  Anyway, as with Ronnie Edwards – time will tell and like with Ronnie, I can see a back-up role at the start of the season.

It has been widely accepted that Kyle Walker-Peters is going to leave this summer as he enters the last year of his contract. A couple of clubs have been repeatedly linked with making a bid for him, namely West Ham and Spurs. As I write, nothing has happened but the have proactively moved in the transfer market to mitigate the risk of him going with the arrival of Yukinari Sugawara, a Japanese international right back who was plying his trade in the Eredivisie with AZ Alkmaar.  We’ve had some hits and misses out of the Dutch league in the past with Dusan Tadic and Graziano Pellè being in the hits column and Steve DeRidder being in the other. Sugawara’s stats in the Dutch league point towards an attacking right back who is going to be far more suited to playing as a wingback than a conventional right back in a four. Whilst it probably points towards us playing three at the back more often than not this season, it is also good to have a player in place before it became a mad panic and we ended up paying over the odds because teams knew we were desperate.  Yuki’s first interview revealed a charming, respectful, humble and funny individual who will become a massive fans favourite if he plays as well as he talks.


No Caption Necessary - This Just Made Me Smile


Remember me talking about West Ham just now?  Well, the media was full of talk of swap-deals with Flynn Downes and KWP, with a bit of Danny Ings thrown in.  We all know that swap deals are not a thing any more and  just a couple of days on from Russell Martin saying that he would cry himself to sleep if we didn’t sign Flynn Downes, we went out and gave Russell a good nights sleep by signing the aforementioned Flynn Downes from West Ham. With news having broken of us having agreed a fee of £18 million. I assumed that this was all going to go through in good time, so it was still a surprise to see him come running out down the catwalk a day later, at the 2024/25 Puma kit launch at St Mary’s. This one signing above all others, gives me a great sense of relief because we were basically a mid table Championship side whenever Downes didn’t play last season, so it would’ve left a massive expensive hole to fill if we didn’t sign him.  From Flynn‘s point of view, he was weighing up leaving the club he supports and being a bit-part player against being the first name of the team sheet at a Premier League club where he is absolutely loved by everyone connected with the club from manager to supporters.  Also, the signing means that we've signed the West Ham player and we still have KWP, with West Ham now rumoured to want Aaron Wan-Bissaka instead. 


Relief. Everywhere.


Outgoings are also going to play a major part in the summer rebuild and we had quite a few from the relegation season that were never going to play a part in the squad this time around and that needed to be addressed.  The first out was Romain Perraud, moving to Betis in Spain, which is a move that is testament to having a good agent.  He didn’t set the world alight in France last year so I did expect us to have a bit of a problem in moving him on but job done.  Romain just never fitted the system with Russell Martin so this was complete inevitable. He was always a player who tried his best in the relegation season, despite being inexplicably left out quite a few times.  I have a feeling that in ten years’ time, people will see a picture of him in a Saints shirt and struggle to remember who he was.

Perraud was one of the ‘loaned out’ army of players who either didn’t want to play in the Championship, or who Russell Martin thought weren’t good enough – which brings to Lyanco.  The chest-thumping nutjob with passion for days and his own emoji (which was dodgy when used in the wrong context) is off to Atletico Mineiro in his native Brazil.  He had the odd decent moment in a Saints shirt, in amongst a fair few liability moments, and his antics probably bought him more slack than they should have in the relegation season, given the amount of half-arsed shite that went on around him.  He seemed to genuinely care and you can’t help but want him to do well. Duje Caleta-Car moved on to Lyon and in contrast, no one really gives a shit.


I Still Think Duje Should Have Just Lamped The Twat


Another of the loaned out was Mateuz Lis, the goalkeeper who we signed purely to loan out it seems.  Having spent last season starring for Goztepe, he’s now back and training with the first team. Does he have a future here?  I doubt it but it would certainly be a turn up.

There is unquestionably still a lot to do.  For example, Wee Man is still a Newcastle player.  Che Adams has left the club officially and is currently unemployed, same as he was whilst doing shuttle runs up front for Scotland in the Euros.  The futures of Charly Alcaraz and Armel Bella-Kotchap are still unresolved, with various rumours of varying likelihood being punted about on the bag of shit that is the internet during the transfer window.  Alcaraz to Spurs and Newcastle, ABK to anywhere but Southampton.  What’s happening with Sulemana?  What’s happening with Mara?

Finally, we have the enigma that is Tall Paul.  A roaring success at Trabzonspor but they don't want to pay any money for him.  The usual shithousing tactics are coming out - their board 'demanding' we accept their piss-take offer, stuff in the media that Paul will only accept Trabzonspor.  Fucking do one you clowns.  He's worth £10 million of anyone's money and to be honest, I'd rather keep him or sell to almost anyone else.


Roy Weighs In on the Tall Paul Saga


For me, with five defenders being signed already, it’s the expensive end of the pitch that needs the work now.  A striker to replace Adams, preferably a physical one and then the midfield.  Even having signed Downes, we probably need one more in midfield as well with both Stuart Armstrong and Joe Rothwell departing from last seasons squad and only Lallana arriving so far. I like the sound of Matt O’Riley from Celtic but the buzz around that one seems to have calmed down and he’s being linked with everyone. Then of course, there is the keeper situation – yes, Macca is here for a year but you assume we’d need one more.  Where does Mateuz Lis fit in and why do these Aaron Ramsdale on loan rumours not disappear.  As it stands, KWP and Jan Bednarek are still here – but be be prepared to be reading that they have agreed contracts with lots of clubs without a fee being agreed with Saints yet.  Love the click-bait.

Overall I think we’ve made a solid start to the summer.  Not a lot of money has been spent in bringing in the likes of Lallana, Edwards, Wood, Taylor and Sugawara to compliment the relatively big money buys of THB and Downes.  Also, all of this business has been done before the first friendly.  There is more money needing to be spent at the top end however as anyone can see.  Currently, we have just two senior strikers – Adam Armstrong who failed to fire in two seasons of Premier League football and Ross Stewart who has failed to stand up for nearly two seasons.  Hopefully they both prove that they can hack it this season but either way, you can’t go into a season with just two strikers.  I am sure that it is going to take time.

Just under a month until the trip to St James’ Park.  That will fly by.


Tuesday, December 20, 2022

World Cup 2022 Part 4 - The Knockouts

 

Qatar Making Sure It's Not Just About the Winners

3/12/22 – Round of 16
Netherlands v USA
The last 16 got underway with the Netherlands playing the USA. It never ceases to amaze me how much the Americans annoy me when it comes to football. From the insistence of calling it soccer to the U.S.A. chants, which remind me of shit behaviour of their fans in the Ryder Cup. Today on social media I managed to see a clip of Joe Biden, the current president saying “it’s called soccer”, whilst pretending to receive a pass. I wonder what the chances are of him being around when the next World Cup, overbloated to 48 teams, is held in a combination of Canada, Mexico and the good old U.S.A, U.S.A, U.S.A, I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN…. Fuck off!.

Anyway, hopefully the Netherlands would turn up and sort them out and the first half went exactly according to my plan with their ridiculous full back Denzel Dumfries, setting up the first goal for Memphis Depay and the second for Daley Blind on the stroke of half-time. The second half saw the Dutch butchering any number of opportunities, usually through trying to give the ball to Stephen Bergwijn or receive it and it looked for one horrible moment like the USA would somehow snatch something from the game when Wright, their substitute scored quite possibly the luckiest goal in history as it hit his heel and looped up over the goalkeeper and dropped into the far corner of the net. That will have had the nurses a bit worried in the Biden Carehome.

Anyway, the Dutch then decided to stop pissing about in the final third and with Blind having the ball out on the left and Dumfries completely unmarked on the right hand side of the penalty area, it was just a case of if the cross had enough quality on it and it did and the right back buried it and with it, all the USA chants and Star-Spangled Banner and all the fancy dress dickheads In the crowd can go home. With that, Louis Van Gaal’s orange army went through to the quarter-finals.

Argentina v Australia
Argentina against Australia is one of those games where you want both teams to lose but before the kick-off I was expecting the most one-sided game of the tournament. Didn’t exactly turn out that way because though Argentina dominated pretty much from the start, all they had to show for it was a brilliant goal by Messi and they went in 1-0 up at half-time. It looked like it was all over at the start the second half when Australian goalkeeper Mat Ryan pissed about, took a horrendous touch and was robbed by Julian Alvarez who turned in the simplest goal he will have ever scored to make it 2-0. The Aussies had spirit though and had a stroke of luck when a shot was heading for the corner flag but instead of going onwards towards the corner flag it hit an Argentinian defender who was just trying to get back in position and flew in the far corner of the net. The Aussies actually had a chance to send it into extra time but Aston Villa’s Emi Martínez made a decent save to preserve Argentina‘s place in the quarter-finals. They will of course play against the Netherlands.

4/12/22
France v Poland


Giving the Keeper 'The Eyes' From 25 Yards is Taking the Piss

Last 16 day 2, started with France taking on Poland. Again I was expecting this to be one-sided and theough Poland probably should’ve taken the lead in the first half, once Olivier Giroud put the French ahead just before half-time then it was pretty obvious what was gonna happen in the second half. Incidentally, Giroud, often a player ridiculed his now France’s all-time record goalscorer, ahead of Thierry Henry, Zidane, Platini and all those other great players that they’ve had. Respect.

The story of the second half was that it was time for Mbappe to do his thing, sending the goalkeeper the wrong way from open play, flashing one into the net from the edge of the box and then repeating the trick as the game ran down. Poland got a penalty in the last minute which was converted by Robert Lewandowski in what will probably be his final act at a World Cup finals.

England v Senegal

Seems That Jordan Henderson is Cool Again

England were next up Next against Senegal and Southgate decided on just one change with Marcus Rashford being unlucky to drop out and Bukayo Saka coming back in. The first half an hour was very ropey with England being very pedestrian and coughing up a couple of chances that a better team would’ve taken. We were indebted to a very good save from Pickford to keep the game goalless. He might have short arms but it’s a good job one of them was long enough to get in the way of a shot from Sarr. On 35 minutes, it all changed though as Jude Bellingham broke down the left and superbly picked out Jordan Henderson with his pullback and the Liverpool captain made no mistake. England were going to be slightly fortunate to be going in one ahead at half-time but he got even better in injury time as another break inspired by Bellingham, saw Foden square to Harry Kane on the edge of the box, with just the goalkeeper to be and there’s only one place that’s ending up. Game over.

England are clearly just concentrating on keeping it tight for the opening of the second half but managed to pinch another goal as it was Foden this time in getting away on the left-hand side and crossed it for Bukayo Saka to produce a lovely finish past Edouard Mendy to make it three and it meant that the rest of the game was much like the Wales game, with England emptying the bench and resting players and get into the final whistle with no alarms whatsoever.

Again, it has to be said that Gareth Southgate got a completely right but now comes the real test as we play our first really good side in the shape of France. I really hope Southgate sticks with the back four but I suspect he won’t and that he’ll go with a back five which basically means that one out of Henderson, Bellingham, Saka or Foden will be left out. Be brave Gareth. If we go super defensive and get beat then it’s not gonna be a good look. If however, we have a go and get beat, most people will forgive it.

5/12/22
Japan v Croatia


Can Yoshida Take a Pen?  No

Japan and Croatia are up next, in a meeting of the universally loved Japanese and Dejan Lovren.  It was all Japan in the first half and they took the lead just before half-time when the corner dropped to Celtic’s mahi to put them in front. Unfortunately, the Japanese could only last 10 minutes of the second half before a Kramaric cross from the right is superbly headed in by Ivan Perišić.  Neither team could find another goal in normal time or in extra time so for the first time in this World Cup, we had a penalty shootout.  As a Southampton fan, it was somewhat strange to see the two captains shaking hands for the coin toss, seeing as they were both once Southampton teammates. One of course being a very popular Maya Yoshida and the other one being the twat Lovren, who admittedly was Croatia’s third choice captain as the other two had been substituted.


Unfortunately, the Japanese basically shit the bed with three of their penalty takers, including Yoshida, taking one pace run-ups and hitting the kind of penalties that if the keeper goes the right way, then he is going to save it. Croatia went through with comparatively little fuss or tension. The only consolation was that it was not Lovren who scored the winning penalty.

Brazil v South Korea
This game of course should probably have been Brazil against Uruguay which would’ve been an interesting test for the South American favourites for the tournament but as it was, South Korea were in town and it wasn’t a test at all.

Four goals in the opening half an hour meant that the rest of the game was like a training game with South Korea making the store slightly more respectable in the second half. Not that you can be too much into it because of the standard of the opposition but Brazil looked very impressive in the first half with goals from Vinicius Jr, Neymar, Richarlison and Lucas Paqueta. They still haven’t been tested though and will probably only marginally be tested more by Croatia in the quarter-finals.

6/12/22
Spain v Morocco


Morocco Officially Goes Mental

In all the games in this round, there was a clear favourite and so far, every favourite had gone through with the minimum of fuss but now it was time for Spain against Morocco.

A team that passes the ball to death against a team were quite happy to sit in and defend and have so far in this World Cup, looked very adept at doing that. The game went exactly as suspected with Spain having a ridiculous amount of possession and then getting to the edge of the penalty area and then passing it again. Morocco took every chance they could to break on Spain with pace and they looked the better side throughout the first half. On the left wing of course they had Sofiane Boufal, Southampton nearly – legend who is such a ridiculously fun player to watch even though the end product isn’t often there.

Anyway, the second half went on with Spain again passing instead of shooting and Morocco got more and more entrenched and it was pretty boring and we reached 90 without any real chances for either side. In extra time it got marginally more interesting as the jeopardy increased and the best chance felt of the Spanish right back in 120th minute as he was picked out at the back post but managed to volley against the far post from a tight angle and so we went to penalties. Spain clearly don’t practice shooting because they don’t do it so why would you practice something that you don’t do but unfortunately that extended to penalties with three of the worst penalties that you could possibly pull out at this time. One against the post and two absolutely shit ones that the keeper just fell on. It eventually came round to a Hakimi who had the opportunity to take the winning penalty against the country of his birth and like a complete shit house he just dinked it down the middle with the goalkeeper diving the wrong way. Every Moroccan in the stadium went absolutely bat shit mental and as the news filtered around the world, it seems that every Moroccan in every major city went absolutely mental as well. Spain it seems, will never learn. They can however, think about it on the way home.

Portugal v Switzerland
The last game of the round was Portugal against Switzerland and this was actually the one that I thought beforehand that the underdog might win. As I’ve said before, there’s not much point to Switzerland in these tournaments but here they are with a genuine chance against a team that hasn’t looked that good but the Portugal boss had an ace up his sleeve having seen Manchester United become a much better side once they dropped no club Ronnie. So, the main prima-donna was on the bench and his replacement Gonçalo Ramos, smashed in a hat-trick as Portugal absolutely buried Switzerland by 6-1. The annoying thing was the Portugal actually looked really good which is a shame because even with No-Club Ronnie not featuring until the last few minutes, they still have Bruno Fernandes and that’s enough for anyone to hate them. Through they go to play Morocco in the next round and it’s kind of hard to see lightning strike in twice with that one.

9/12/22 - Quarter Finals
Brazil v Croatia


Brazil: not Dancing

Quarter-finals in Brazil against Croatia was first up in a game that would provide the first test of any sort that Brazil have had. Whilst Croatia are more workmanlike than inspiring, they are considerably better than anything Brazil have played so far. First half boring….but Brazil had a better chances with the excellent Livakovic saving everything, second-half also boring And much the same as the first, first period of extra time also boring and then Neymar picked up the ball, set off on a run, played a couple of 1-2’s, kept on going and ended up firing Brazil into the lead. The second period of extra time began with Brazil being far too attack minded than they needed to be given the situation and they eventually lost the ball with five men in front of it and only one of the five decided to try and run back as Croatia broke up the left wing, crossed low and there was Petković to score with the aid of a deflection to send the game to penalties.

Croatia keep her Livakovic had already proved he knew what he was doing in the shootout win against Japan and he did it again saving the 1st two Brazilian penalties. Croatia did the business and it eventually fell to Marquinhos with a penalty to keep Brazil in it and he twatted it off the post. Neymar, who saved himself for the glory fifth penalty, didn’t get to take one. How many fucking times have we seen the world’s biggest players fail to step up with it matters.

Croatia march onto the semi-finals where they will play the winner of the Argentina and Netherlands match and Brazil go home after flattering to deceive yes again. Some blame must surely be placed on the manager for playing four forwards, none of whom are interested in tracking back or doing the dirty work when they haven’t got the ball and when one of your two holding midfielders is Lucas Paqueta then you are always going to struggle against a well organised team like Croatia are. Neymar has unfortunately spawned a collection of similar type of players. They are similar in that they are not really interested in doing the hard part of the game and incidentally, they are all Neymar blonde and they are all covered in tattoos right up to the chins. Players like Anthony, Pedro and Rodrygo, really have a long way to go.  They should start with being individual, rather than being a poor copy of someone else.


Argentina v Netherlands

The Shithouse Derby

This game was going nowhere really.  In a poor first half, Argentina took the lead thanks to ridiculous pass by Messi which sent right back Molina through to pass it into the net. The second half saw Messi convert a penalty just after the hour mark after Denzel Dumfries had clumsily brought down the Argentinian left back on the edge of the penalty area. The game seemed to be meandering towards a routine Argentina win until Louis van Gaal pressed the ‘Route 1’ button, sending on Wout Weghorst and Luuk DeJong and launching it. Weghorst pulled one back with a really good flick header, being marked as he was by Manchester United midget Lisandro Martinez and with Argentina losing their discipline and giving away loads of free kicks around the edge of the box, the Dutch came up with something wonderfully inventive and rather than a direct shot, just rolled the freekick into Weghorst on the penalty spot who held off a defender and turned and equalised to send the game to extra time.

It was remarkable that given the Dutch had so much success with playing Route 1 in the last 10 minutes, they then stopped doing it and the game meandered through extra-time and despite Argentina hitting the post, we ended up with penalties again.

Virgil van Dijk stepped up first and saw his effort easily pushed away by Emi Martínez. Messi scored and then Berghuiss saw his penalty saved as well so the Dutch were already in the shit. Argentina did miss one which meant it went right to the end with Lautaro Martinez converting the winning penalty. There was so much shithousing, dreadful tackling and fucking bizarre refereeing in this game the both teams had about eight players booked, courtesy of a ridiculous Spanish referee who desperately wanted it to all be about him.  It was great fun to see players losing their shit and launching into tackles and smashing the ball at the dugouts and all this sort of stuff. When Edgar Davids, complete with sunglasses and wearing a suit, tries to start a fight on the bench, then you know it’s gonna be entertaining. Argentina are basically a team of uncompromising thugs and players who run all day. There is very little in terms of creativity in the team but of course, they have Messi and there are echoes of Argentina‘s 1986 which was very very similar but they had Maradona. Messi 2022 isn’t quite as good as Maradona 1986 but it will be interesting to see whether it’s enough.

Anyway, after all that it’s Argentina against Croatia in the first semi-final.

10/12/22
Portugal v Morocco


It's All About Me

Whilst the world is media focused on No-Club Ronnie, those who are interested in team sports focused on Portugal against Morocco for a place in the semi-final. Morocco have of course exceeded everybody’s expectations so far and Portugal have been a bunch of twats. I think everyone knew how this game was going to go from a stylistic point of view, lots of possession by Portugal with Morocco defending deep and then hitting them hard on the break and that’s how it turned out Joao Felix had a couple of early chances and bought a good save out of the Morocco keeper and U2 singer Bono, before a break up the left wing saw a cross lobbed into the box and the Portuguese keeper came out like an absolute fucking idiot and got completely out jumped by En-Nesyri to give Morocco a one nil lead. What everyone has learnt from this World Cup is that you do not give Morocco the lead.

Bruno Fernandes hit the bar with a cross as the first half drew to a close and the second half just saw Portugal in the ascendancy without really testing the keeper. No-Club Ronnie made his way onto the pitch for the last 35 minutes but looked like a player who has gone over the hill and is cart-wheeling down the other side.  In the end it all became about Portugal histrionics in front of the referee and even a late red card from Morocco couldn’t derail them and they became the first African country to reach the semi-finals of the World Cup. No-Club Ronnie predictably disappeared down the tunnel, barely acknowledging anybody. It was all about him of course. Bye Portugal.

England v France

Projectile Launched into Qatar Sky

The only game that mattered as far as we were concerned was England against France. Would England and Southgate show they had truly come of age and turned a corner or would France show that they are just a class above. Would Southgate go super safe and pick a third centre back. The signs were very encouraging from that point of view as Gareth had his big boy pants on and picked exactly the same team that played against Senegal.

An early Giroud header was easily saved by Pickford before we got the first look at what was going to be a very difficult afternoon of trying to understand what the fucking referee was doing.  Bukayo Saka clearly had his legs wide away from him at the French end of the pitch but I wasn’t given as a foul and so France built up and eventually the ball was squared to Tchouameni, 30 yards out and he absolutely arrowed it into the corner.  Debates as to whether Pickford should have done slightly better but a great strike.  Fuck.

Harry Kane spun onto a Saka pass and saw his effort beaten out by Lloris as England tried to hit back before Kane again got away from the clumsy Upamecano, who brought him down on the edge of the box for the referee give fuck all anyway. Kane then tried from the edge of the box and saw his effort deflected and his Spurs teammate and goal pull off a ‘one for the cameras’ save.

The second half began with an England corner been cleared out to Bellingham on the edge of the box and his superb effort was unfortunate a little bit too central and again the keeper knocked over the bar. England got the break they needed when Saka played a 1-2 with Bellingham in the penalty area and Tchouameni clumsily took down the Arsenal man. Even this rather random referee couldn’t not give it and Kane stepped up to send Lloris the wrong way.

England seemed to take their collective foot off the gas a little bit having equalised and Rabiot bought a good save out of Pickford but England was still the team in the ascendency and Maguire was unfortunate to see a header flick the outside of a post.  Pickford was called into action again to beat out an Olivier Giroud volley but it was a temporary reprieve as the former Arsenal man, who everyone used to disprespect, including some of his French teammates, was there to bullet a header into the net from Griezmann‘s cross after getting there ahead of Maguire.

Southgate hadn’t made any changes at this point and having gone behind, decided now was the moment so I came Henderson and Saka and on came Sterling and Mount to my great personal deflation.  However, a bit of a hopeful ball into the box towards Mount brought maximum reward as Theo Hernandez absolutely brainlessly barged him in the back. Fucking ref didn’t give it of course but VAR got this one right and having had a look at the slow motion, there was again, no way he couldn’t give it as Hernandez was not looking at the ball at any point. Kane versus Lloris part two. Up steps England’s captain and puts up a fucking balloon.

Rashford and Grealish came on for Foden and the injured Stones for the last few minutes and we want a free kick on the edge of the box with more brain-dead French defending. It was Rashford’s moment and he had to score but he put it over the bar and out England went, once more.

Bollocks. The wait goes on. In the past two tournaments, though we’ve got further in that we got to a semi-final and then a final, I don’t feel as much disappointment with this exit as I did with those. With those other two tournaments I felt that we just shit the bed when it mattered and I put a lot of that down to Gareth Southgate‘s conservative approach to things. There are things that in hindsight didn’t work out today. He left it too long to make the changes and I’m not sure that bringing on a very out of form Mason Mount and a very jetlagged Raheem Sterling was really the right thing to do. If it worked however then Southgate would be the hero and that’s the way it works. Personally, I feel that as a manager, Southgate is getting better and for me he’s earned the right to carry on. Whether he will want to carry on or not is the question now.  He immediately spoke of the amount of stick he got after the 4-0 home Nations League defeat to Hungary.  I don’t feel that it’s particularly realistic to complain about getting battered after a defeat like that but maybe it’s a sign that he’s had enough of the scrutiny that comes with being the England manager after six years and three major tournaments. It may well be that he decides that this is a good time to bow out because his reputation is intact and there’s not many managers who get to choose their future.  This seems like the FA want him to carry on though so we’ll just have to wait until the dust settles. I will say that there does seem to be a lack of obvious candidates to replace him.

Some solace can be taken in the fact that the average age of the squad is pretty low and players like Phil Foden, Bukayo Saka, Jude Bellingham and Declan Rice are only going to be getting better. The detractors will say that we have done what we always do and there is an element of truth in that. We’ve beaten all the teams who are comfortably ranked lower than us in Iran, Wales and Senegal but we could only draw with the USA and we got beaten by the first elite team that we came up against. It always seems to be the same way. You can argue it either way, maybe it’s time for a change to give us that extra kick to get us over the line or maybe we should be careful what we wish for.

Today there have been a lot of fingers pointed at the referee and he was truly shocking. There was no way that it wasn’t a foul on Bukayo Saka in the build up to their goal but we had the players back by the time France scored but no one was close enough to Tchouameni. The referee gave us a penalty at the start the second half which he couldn’t really not give and after viewing the monitor, decided to give us a second one as well. The reason we lost is because we missed a penalty and we missed the last minute free-kick. If you want to win tight games against the opposition, then you cannot afford to miss chances like that. France didn’t create many openings but they scored two goals and the bottom line is that is why they are going through to the semi-final against Morocco and that is probably why they will win the whole tournament, again. The good news is that we can look forward to another fucking re-release of Three Lions in 18 months time.

13/12/22 Semi-Finals
Argentina v Croatia


Alvarez Celebrates Messi Beating Half the Team

Whenever England go out, what follows has a certain apathy about it all, as far as I’m concerned. I looked at the two semi-finals and saw two traditional heavyweights against two teams who have over achieved so far and the question would be whether this semi-final was going to be a game too far for either Croatia or Morocco. Croatia against Argentina started off looking like it was going to be a decent close game with Croatia dominated possession but having absolutely nothing upfront.

Eventually the deadlock was broken with Álvarez, how shall we say, winning a penalty by knocking the ball past goalkeeper and then crashing into him. Could argue this one both ways but it was given of course an up stepped Messi to spank it into the top corner. Álvarez scored at start the second half to put the game to bed but there is still time for the coup de grace from Messi as he turned the otherwise excellent Gvardiol inside out on the right wing before driving towards the goal along the by-line and knocking it back for Álvarez to sweep into the net. 3-0 to Argentina and Messi and his supporting cast get through to the final. In some ways it’s an absolute fucking travesty that Argentina have got there because they literally are a goalkeeper, a bunch of thugs and one special player.

14/12/22
France v Morocco

Boufal Booked for Getting in the Way of Hernandez

Morocco had trouble before the game against France even started with Aguerd, one of the starting centre backs, pulling out just before the game. They were a bit of a shambles has the game started, far removed from the well-oiled defensive machine that they’ve been so far and went 1-0 down after a bit of pinball resulted in Hernandez putting them ahead after four minutes. Morocco then lost Roman Saiss after about 15 minutes because he couldn’t run but once they got their fit defenders on the pitch they looks a lot better.

Morocco started playing really fast paced counter-attacking football and were denied what  looked like a clear penalty as Hernandez played the ball, clattered Boufal and somehow Boufal got booked for being fouled in the penalty area. Absolutely fucking bizarre. Anyway, for all Morocco’s endeavour, like Croatia they have very little up front and went in at half-time 1-0 down. The second half had more or less exclusive Morocco pressure for the first 20 minutes before France scored again on the break during the small part to a very lucky deflection that took the ball into the path of substitute Kolo Muani, who couldn’t miss. Morocco kept going to be fair, but all they did was illustrate their inadequacies at the top end of the pitch, managing to miss ridiculous chances and so the game eventually petered out to give us an Argentina against France final.

From an England point of view, I was watching it thinking that if we had beaten France, we would’ve struggled against this Morocco side who played with no fear and fair play to them for a great tournmanet.

17/12/22
3rd Place Playoff
Croatia v Morocco
Croatia beat Morocco 2-1 and no one outside of those two countries gave a shit.  Seriously, no one.

18/12/22
World Cup Final
France v Argentina


The Key Moment in the Final - 123rd Minute

To the final and the build-up has been nauseating with everyone forgetting that they would be 20 other players on the pitch apart from Messi and and Mbappé. Gianni Infantino opened his big fat fucking mouth again and declared it as being the best World Cup ever, which it clearly isn’t if you use metrics like the number of fans attending or the quality of the football. What it probably means is that FIFA have made the most cash out of it. He also spoke about wanting to create a club World Cup with 32 teams in it, which I guess is because FIFA don’t like the success of the UEFA Champions League and what their own piece of the action. Another horrendous idea.

He did say one thing that was welcome though and that was that the 48 team World Cup with the 16 groups of three would be put in the bin where it belonged and though it will still be 48 teams, it is now almost certain that it will be groups of four so we won’t have any corrupt games in the first phase. He said it was because the four-team groups were incredibly exciting in this World Cup and to be fair, he has a point but I do wonder about the real reason he has backtracked.

To the final and Argentina tore into France in the first half with the French barely seeming able to raise a jog, let alone compete with the intensity of the Argentines. France seemed to be half asleep and Dembélé was certainly asleep as DiMaria went round him and waited for the faintest of touches which Dembélé duly provided and over went di Maria, which allowed Messi to stroke in the penalty and the worlds media to stroke themselves into a frenzy.

Going behind didn’t wake France up at all and from their first real attack, Argentina won the ball, broke and via Messi, Álvarez, McAllister and superb finish provided by DiMaria, Argentina went 2-0 up and seemingly coasting. French manager Didier Deschamps decided that he had had enough of the shit he was watching and Dembélé and Giroud were hooked before half-time to be replaced by Thuram and Kolo Muani.

The opening of the second half was pretty dull until Deschamps went for broke, sending on Camavinga and Coman and taken off Griezmann and defender Fernandez. With more attacking players now than you can shake a stick at, Mbappé woke up when Kolo Muani got behind Otamendi who predictably hauled him back for an obvious penalty that Mbappé easily converted. Within a minute it was level as Messi was dispossessed by Coman, who went forward and fed and Mbappé.  Mbappé flicked the ball up to Kolo Muani’s head and went for the return and volleyed it first time across Martinez and into the far corner. Fucking ridiculous goal. France have been utter bollocks but once they’ve woken up, they were amazing. France looked the more likely in normal time but an extra half hour it is.

France are Awake

As the Dutch did when they completed a similar turnaround against Argentina, France then went back into their shell a bit and allowed Argentina to work themselves back into the game. Into the second half of extra time and Argentina got themselves in front again as Lautaro Martinez actually managed to shoot towards the goal for once, forcing Lloris into a decent size before Messi bundled the rebound over the line. With Argentina once more thinking they had won it, the referee then stepped in and gave a penalty for handball when Montiel charged down an Mbappé shot with his elbow clearly moving towards the ball. Excellent refereeing and the correct decision.  Mbappé again, no problem and a hat-trick in a World Cup Final.

We were well past 120 minutes when Kolo Muani found himself clean through after a mistake by Otamendi, but with just Martinez to beat he managed to hit the outstretched leg of the goalkeeper. Argentina broke and a perfect cross was right onto the head of Lautaro Martinez who proved once again that he is absolutely fucking shit by producing a 50p header of the worst kind.

Penalties and there was only ever going to be one winner and that was always going to be Emiliano Martinez. Absolute shit house goalkeeping of the best kind and even managed to get himself booked during the shoot out for throwing the ball away. This was after he’d already saved Kingsley Coman‘s kick it was no surprise when he picked Tchouameni for his main shithousing, throwing the ball away so the French youngster had to go and get it and put it back on the spot.  Yellow card in the bank and Martinez watched Tchouameni’s klick pull wide. Eventually it fell to Montiel to send Hugo Lloris the wrong way from the spot to give Argentina their first World Cup since 1986. Lloris had given off Peter Shilton 1990 vibes by basically collapsing in the goal for every penalty and France had done an England Euro 2020 and sent up kids to do an experienced players’ job.

The final provided great theatre and it was a ridiculously exciting game once France started their comeback in the end but I feel that when the dust has settled, people look at this Argentina side and wonder how on Earth they managed to win it. Personally I don’t feel the standard of this World Cup has been particularly good, with a number of teams seemingly having no striker. Argentina have won this through being hard uncompromising bastards with the sprinkling of magic that Messi provides. It was enough and and now, the fanboys of No-Club Ronnie can shut up. At 35, we are probably seeing the last of Messi in the World Cup. It wouldn’t surprise me if he retired altogether at the end of the season after he inevitably signs off with winning the Ballon D’Or.

So, the latest corruptly awarded World Cup finishes.  FIFA and Infantino got out of jail because in the main, the football was decent, which it was always going to be.  The hosts got what they paid for, a wave if positivity washing over their country. They dressed Messi in some sort of Qatari cloak for him to receive the World Cup – what the hosts and the like of Infantino fail to realise is that it isn’t about them.  It’s about the football and it always will be.  The World Cup would happen without FIFA but could FIFA exist without the football? I found myself less invested with every passing World Cup to be honest and there will come a day in to not too distant future where the Football Associations of the various countries get together and break away.

For now though, we’re all off to Mexico, Canada and the good ol’ U, S of A, the latter of which is of course a country with no human rights issues if you don’t count women of course… and they clearly don’t.



No Caption Necessary

Friday, December 2, 2022

World Cup 2022 Part 3 - Groups E-H

No One Wants to See Germans Crying 😂

 Group E – Germany, Japan, Spain, Costa Rica

23/11/22
It’s that team in White, starting their campaign against Japan and will surely be a comfortable enough win for the team that always turns up for tournaments. Wrong, massively. Germany should’ve been out of sight in the first half but all they had show for it was a Gundogan penalty, won courtesy of a hilarious challenge by the Japanese goalkeeper who just dived into the back of a player. The Germans seem pretty much in control until, like Argentina against the Saudis, they were undone by two quickfire goals, the second one being a brilliant bit of control of a long ball and smashing it high into the net from a narrow angle. Absolutely marvellous stuff to see the Germans get beat.

It was compounded later as Spain annihilated Costa Rica 7-0. Spain looked good but Costa Rica looked even worse than Iran so I would imagine they are going to take hammerings in their last two games as well. This makes that particular group really interesting because you’ve got to expect Japan to beat Costa Rica and then Germany will play Spain knowing that unless they win, they are going home, knocked out the tournament in two games.  That would be a real shame.

27/11/22
Japan had one job to do. Japan just had to beat the team that have been beaten 7-0 in their first game. If Japan can beat Costa Rica then Germany are absolutely fucked.  Anyway, Japan didn’t win an even worse, they actually contrived to lose to Costa Rica who had one shot all game which looped over the Japanese goalkeeper who basically jumped downwards. It was horrific, not just for Japan, but for everyone who wanted the Germans to go out with no fuss.

So, with three teams on three points and Germany on nothing, Spain took on Germany and what turned out to be a really entertaining game. Germany thought they’d scored just before half-time through Antonio Rüdiger but much of the amusement of everyone who isn’t German, it was disallowed for a tight offside.  It all got slightly surreal in the second half as Álvaro Morata came off the bench for the second game running and managed to score. Germany’s substitute replied though with about seven minutes ago as Fullkrug smashed in an unstoppable shot which means that Germany go into the last game against Costa Rica, knowing that win will in all likelihood, put them through. You had one job Japan… and you fucked it for everyone.

1/12/22
The final matches were absolutely amazing. To start with, Germany took the lead against Costa Rica and when Spain went to head against Japan, it must be assumed that Spain and Germany were going to qualify. However, 10 minutes after half time and Japan had scored twice and Costa Rica had equalised.

It got even more amazing when Costa Rica went in front so as it stood at that particular time, Japan and Costa Rica were going through and Spain and Germany were going out. It was too much to hope for and in typical Germany fashion, they hit back to win 4-2 but it really didn’t matter as long as the Japan and Spain score stayed the same.  Spain were guilty of what they are often guilty of – pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, no cutting edge.  I do wonder if it crossed the mind of any Spanish players that unless Germany had scored a further six goals, they were through even with a defeat but fair play to them, they kept playing and kept the Japanese honest.



About that Winning Japanese Goal

The main controversy of course was the second Japanese goal. The original cross that was hooked back in before it was bundled into the net, looked over the line on first viewing and that’s what the linesman thought because he flagged and the referee initially disallowed the goal. VAR had other ideas though and despite no view being shown which proved that the ball wasn’t over the line, the goal was given. This could be classed as ‘outrageous’ or dare I say it ‘corrupt’ but I go with ‘hilarious’ because it ultimately is what knocked the Germans out.

As I said when they played Costa Rica, Japan had one job to do and that was to put the Germans out.  They did it, in the most roundabout, difficult way possible but they did it and go on to face Croatia in the last 16. Spain is reward for squeaking through is it going against Morocco which won’t be easy for them.

Group F – Belgium, Croatia, Morocco, Canada



Lovren Hits the Net, Lukaku Doesn't

23/11/22
The opening game of group F was a piss boring draw between Morocco and Croatia. Croatia are a team that are creaking and don’t seem to have any forwards so struggled to break down a well organised Morocco defence.  Perisic is still their best attacker, Modric at 37 their best midfielder and in Dejan Lovren, they have a defender of sorts. 0-0 and instantly forgettable.

Belgium and Canada saw the Canadians absolutely run the game in the first half but somehow go in 1-0 down as Michy Batshuayi actually kicked the ball in the right direction for once following a long ball that the Canadian defence obligingly missed. Belgium looked about as far away from being prospective tournament winners as you could possibly be. They still have Vertonghen and Alderweireld in defence and also Leander Dendoncker, who doesn’t even play there for his club. Axel Witsel continues to be a mystifying player and you wonder what on earth he actually does and they just looked very old and average and it’s sad seeing Eden Hazard as he is now, wrecked by so many injuries. Alphonso Davies missed a penalty for Canada and they should’ve had another one at the end of the first half but didn’t get it, just before the goal. The second half was more even but Canada ran out of legs and don’t seem to have a player who can stick a ball in the net.  With Belgium looking like it’s one tournament too many and Croatia the same, this is definitely the ‘Group of Life’.

27/11/22
Belgium took on Morocco, clearly hoping that the luck that was with them like it was when they beat Canada… and it wasn’t.  They actually didn’t have anything to thank luck for but Morocco won 2-0 and totally deserved to do so as the fraud Roberto Martinez got found out again by team that had more legs, more organisation and wanted to win more than the Red Devil’s Golden Generation. Honestly, the average Belgian is going to look back at this era of their national team when they are in the international wilderness in a few years and be like we are with England’s Golden Generation.  How the fuck didn’t we win anything with those players? Belgium’s answer will be Roberto Martinez in the same way that ours is Sven the Charlatan. 

There is a theme developing in this World Cup that if you get in the faces of the alleged best teams and make it difficult for them, they can’t handle it. Morocco didn’t give Belgium a second and totally deserved the win.  Canada must have been hoping for the same against Croatia but there was no shock, despite Canada taking the lead after two minutes through a superb Alphonso Davies header. Croatia didn’t panic and eventually run out easy 4-1 winners with ex-Leicester City flop Andrej Kramaric bagging a couple of goals. Belgium basically have to get something out of their game against Croatia or they are going home and about eight of their over 30s are heading into international retirement, along with Roberto Martinez.

1/12/22
All of the interest in the last round of games centred around the battle of the teams who were too old and therefore playing one tournament together too many. Croatia against Belgium was going on whilst Morocco were easily disposing of Canada 2-1 in the other game.

The game between the European Hasbeens was diabolical in the first half before coming to life with the second half and being slightly less diabolical. Croatia had a better approach play but Belgium created all the chances with second-half substitute Romelu Lukaku being guilty of about four glaring misses. I ended up feeling a bit sorry for him at the end but not for Roberto Martinez who has always been a fraud and like I said before, Belgium are going to so regret trusting him with their best generation of players. 0-0 it finished, so Croatia went through in second place behind group winners Morocco.

Group G – Brazil, Serbia, Switzerland, Cameroon


Massive Arsehole Scores Ridiculously Good Goal


24/11/22
Switzerland.  What’s the point? I mean seriously. Always qualify, always dull. The opening game against Cameroon was his dull as you’d expect until late Embolo goal, won it for the Swiss. Cameroon are similar to the Swiss in that they always seem to qualify but then do very very little.  Both the Swiss and the Cameroonians will be competing in a mini-league with Serbia to see who qualifies behind Brazil, who will more than likely win every game.  

The Serbs were the first to face Brazil and gave it a good go in the first half before being beaten by two Richarlison goals in the second half. Richarlison is of course a massive arsehole but the quality of his second goal was superb as he flicked it up for himself before scissor kicking it into the net from the edge of the box.  That has to be applauded, even though he’s an arsehole. Did I mention that he’s an arsehole?  Another arsehole, Neymar did very little and got substituted and Brazil looked a better side without him. They have a ridiculous array of attacking talent when you consider that Rodrygo, Anthony and Gabriel Jesus were all on the bench.  A bit like England really but Brazil’s manager will use them.

28/11/22
Serbia and Cameroon played out a very entertaining 3-3 draw with Serbia racing into a 3-1 lead before Cameroon hit back. Cameroon’s second goal is an outrageous scooped lob by Aboubakar (like that famous one Karel Poborsky scored) whilst everyone stopped waiting for it to be called offside. It was a ridiculously brilliant goal but his celebration was muted until after VAR confirmed he was onside. So, a point each in the mini league to finish second behind Brazil.

What’s the point of Switzerland? They turned up against Brazil and they tried to keep it tight and manage to do so but it was somewhat inevitable that Brazil would eventually score and the only surprise is that it came from Casemiro, who found himself in the Switzerland penalty area and smashed in a brilliant goal with a first time lash.

Second place behind Brazil will go to whoever wins the Serbia against Switzerland game in the final games.  That will have a bit of politics in it as well because Serbia have been dickheads as usual having an ‘Kosovo is Serbian’ flag seen in their changing room and Switzerland have Shaqiri and Xhaka, two ethnic Albanians, so all sorts of fun predicted in the last game. At least there will be a point to Switzerland in this game and I would imagine they will take second place in the group as Brazil will surely dispatch Cameroon.

2/12/22
With the Brazil and Cameroon game not having much riding on it, all the tension was on the Serbia against Switzerland game which was probably going to kick off at some point for political reasons. Anyhow, whilst the Brazil game was 0-0, Switzerland took the lead through little fat Xherdan Shaqiri before Serbia hit back through a Mitrovic header and a good finish by Vlahovic and took the lead to put themselves in a qualifying position.   Back came the Swiss however through Embolo and Freuler to lead 3–2. I have pondered in this World Cup what the point of Switzerland is and the point of Switzerland is to piss off Serbia and it all got very fractious in the last few minutes with Granit Xhaka in the centre of it as usual. With Serbia needing two goals, the game was up really on the news that Cameroon had nicked a last minute winner against Brazil reserves didn’t really change anything much. Brazil will play South Korea in the next round whereas Switzerland will take on Portugal. I have a feeling that Switzerland are the sort of team that Portugal will not enjoy playing against.


Group H – Portugal, Uruguay, Ghana, South Korea


Ghana lost, but Somehow Won in a Way

24/11/22
Group H started with a very dull goalless draw between Uruguay and South Korea. Uruguay look good on paper with a good blend of experienced and younger players but it never really happened against South Korea who probably, if anyone, should’ve won it. Not a lot to say about either team on that showing to be honest

Portugal are the team to dislike above all others at the moment. So many petulant arseholes in one squad. Diving around all over the fucking place and just generally being whining bastards. Oh and they have Ronaldo and he’s 37 and he can’t do what he used to do so now he is restricted solely to diving and he dived to good effect to win a penalty as Mohammed Salisu stuck his foot in rather daftly and gave him the chance to go over. I really hoped that when VAR was introduced that it would sort out this kind of shit but because of the “is it a clear and obvious error“, there’s always enough leeway to mean that the diving bastard gets away with it. Of course, he fucking scored. Back came Ghana though with an equaliser from Andre Ayew and it looked like we are up for storming end to the game until Portugal scored twice in five minutes. Whilst we all thought the game was done at that point, Ghana got another one back and then came in amazing incident last minute with the Portuguese keeper didn’t check behind him and didn’t notice that Iñaki Williams was loitering.  He rolled the ball out before the Williams nicked it off him and then slipped as he went to shoot. What a shame that was. Would’ve been absolutely fucking hilarious but as it was, the diving cheating petulant bastards got three points.

28/11/22
Ghana were first in action in the second round of matches, in a game they really had to win against South Korea and it looked like plain sailing for the West Africans with the mighty Southampton centre back Mohammed Salisu, scoring a slightly controversial opener. It was controversial because the pass to him him was basically thrown to him by Andre Ayew but cheers, Son’s crying.  Anyway, there was nothing controversial about the second Ghanaian goal by Mohammed Kudus. As with the previous game against Portugal, just when you think Ghana have got control of things, it completely went to shit and two headed goals by Cho, brought South Korea level only for Ghana to virtually go straight back up the other end and score again through Kudus with the assist being provided by a fantastic air shot by Inaki Williams which basically took out about four defenders.

Portugal against Uruguay was always going to be a dirge and the only surprise was that it wasn’t the game with the most extra time added in the tournament, given the theatrical and petulant nature of both of these teams. It looks like No Club Ronaldo had opened the scoring as he wheeled away celebrating that he was the greatest thing since sliced bread - but a quick replay showed that he had not actually touched Bruno Fernandes in-swinging cross so the player still at Manchester United got given the goal.  Both No-Club Ronnie and Piers Morgan were furious.  Bruno followed it up after another absolutely shambles of a VAR decision for handball gifted them a penalty. With No-Club Ronnie off the pitch, no doubt still waving his arms around about not being able to claim the goalie didn’t touch, Fernandes scored a penalty to give Portugal two wins out of two.

This group is of course all about who come second behind Portugal and you have to say that in Ghana are the favourites right now.

2/12/22
Ghana took on Uruguay and Portugal played South Korea in the last round of games.  Portugal were already through and any of the other three could still have made it but at the start of the game you would’ve said that the winners of the Ghana v Uruguay match would be favourites.

Portugal took an early lead in their game and Ghana had a glorious opportunity to do the same in theirs when the impressive Mohammed Kudus was carted over by the Uruguay goalkeeper.  Up stepped Andre Ayew to try and banish the memories of Asamoah Gyan in 2010 and he completely fucked it with a piss weak penalty that was easily saved. 10 minutes later and Uruguay, ironically inspired by the arch shithouse Luis Suárez, went two goals in front with two goals scored by de Arrascaeta.  Just as half-time was approaching, No-club Ronnie provided an assist for South Korea in his own penalty area so now it was all looking very interesting but as it stood, Uruguay were going through.

The second half of the Ghana game was simmering along with Ghana needing a point to go through and Uruguay thinking that they had done enough, so much so that they took off Suarez, Nunez and de Arrascaeta , probably to save them for the next round.  Oh dear - they reckoned without South Korea taking the lead through Chan, which meant that South Korea were ahead of them on goals scored. Portugal didn’t really give a shit about losing and that game was finished whilst there was still seven minutes of the Ghana v Uruguay game to go with both teams going for it whilst Luis Suárez cried on the bench. With one minute left to go, Edinson Cavani basically threw himself in front of a Ghana player and initiated contact and then cried like a bitch when he didn’t get the penalty. At full time they have gone mental all around the referee and he was forced to run off the pitch. What a bunch of wankers. Go home.  Good riddance.

It was a shame for Ghana to go out but I’m sure they will have taken some consolation from the fact that they took some revenge for 2010 and played a big part in Uruguay getting knocked out and had Luis Suárez crying at what was no doubt the end of his World Cup career.