Europa League 3rd Qualifying Round 2nd Leg - Vitesse Arnhem 0 Southampton 2 (Agg 0-5)

"Shit Happens Brother"

Saints first away trip in Europe since 2003 should be a formality with a 3-0 lead over Vitesse from the first leg.  There is always the chance that it could go horribly wrong but unlikely, given that they’re not that good.  I guess it depends on what team Mourinho picks for them.  During the week, the West London Employment Agency farmed Vitesse out another youngster as Dominic Solanke joined.  He’s a striker and I’ve no idea if he’s any good or not.  That makes 5 players out on loan from Chelsea to Vitesse.  I might have covertly expressed this opinion before but I think it’s bollocks.

The Dutch, in keeping with their friendly image, have laid out the flags for us with a fan park in Arnhem, decorated partly in Saints colours which works in a number of ways – it gives ticketless fans somewhere to watch the game, or somewhere to congregate to have a beer beforehand and it also keeps fans in one place and it makes the job of the local Police that much easier.  The downside of it is that the collecting of fans in one place makes it an easy target for any random group of nutters who want to turn up so there ended up being a big ruck when the Feyenoord crew turned up.  Of course, the initial reports only said that there had been a ruck and 53 had been arrested.  It turned out there were only 3 English arrests so I think we can safely assume that our fans behaviour was pretty good.

There were always going to be some issues around this game as the allocation of 1400 for Saints fans could have been sold many times over and with a general sale going on for the home end, there was always going to be Saints fans in the home end but in the ground at least, all seemed well.  In keeping with our intent to take this competition seriously, Ronald went with a strong team.  The back 4 was messed about a bit with Martina in for Cedric, Caulker in for Targett with Yoshida at left back.  JWP came into the midfield in place of Clasie and J-Rod made it onto the bench for the first time since his injury in place of Shane Long who was ill and didn’t travel.  Vitesse left out the nutter Achenteh which was a bit of a shame as an early penalty would make the evening that much easier.  The one injury for us that was being reported was one to the manager who had done his achilles tendon in training.  There was a question mark over whether he’s be on the touchline tonight but there he was with crutches and a protective boot.

With no Achenteh on the pitch to give us an early chance by hacking someone over, the responsibility fell to the aptly named Diks who hauled down Tadic about 30 yards out on the left.  JWP’s delivery was cleared back to him and he in turn knocked it wide to Tadic.  The cross came over, JWP tried to control it and failed but Pellè took over, nipped it round and defender and buried it left footed across the Room and into the far corner.  Game, Set, Match, 4 minutes gone.

Vitesse had no choice anyway but now they have even less and have to have a go.  Caulker makes his first contribution in a Saints shirt and blocks Rashica’s shot when he’s been set up by Brown after some shandy defending by Davis.  However, the new biy got lucky from the resulting corner as he ballwatched and allowed Rashica to get himself free to meet the corner on the volley but he bounced his shot into the ground and over the bar.

With no Clasie in midfield, our defensive screen is not as great as it could be and Vitesse keep on creating chances from the edge of the box.  It was giving us a chance to have a good look at Caulker and he showed up well with a good block to deny Rashica before he could shoot.  Shots were coming on from the edge of the box, mainly from Qazaishvili who was threatening supporters in the crowd rather than the goal.  Centre back van der Werff did at least get on to go straight and Stekelenburg easily flipped it over the bar.

Saints were doing very very little aside from getting through the game without trying too hard.  We had one notabvle chance as Pellè did really well to tee up Mané who should have scored from the edge of the box but Room got down well to keep it to 1-0 on the night.  As half time approached, Big Vic had a little dive in the box which just looked silly and Martina ent into the book for an untidy tackle when he trashed the forward with both his feet and one arm.

I’m on holiday, watching the game on a dodgy internet stream which is all pixellated and rubbish but as the camera pans round the crowd before the 2^nd half starts, I can quite clearly see Saints fans in half and half scarves.  It’s a bit of a contradiction for e as with numerous ‘aways’ required to get a ticket for this game, I expect the Saints end to contain the real hardcore, the kind who would not be seen dead in a half and half scarf, which for me is the uniform of a day tripper with an iPad filming the game.

We started the second half with as much pace as Ronald had shown when disappearing down the tunnel on his crutches.  More shots from the edge of the box and more rubbish that was nowhere near the goal from Qazaishvili.  I wonder if modern coaching is that sophisticated that the players know that it’s not worth bother closing down Qazaishvili as he hits the target from outside the box 0.002% of the time and the last time was in a school game in Georgia when he was 12.

The game was tediously boring to say the least until even Ronald got bored and hooked Tadic for Juanmi and then Pellè for J-Rod, making his first competitive appearance for 16 months.  Almost his first act was to pick up the ball 30 yards out, take a touch and lash it fractionally over the bar.  Another sub as Harry Reed came on for Davis and Mourinho replaced one Chelsea player with another as Pantic came on for Baker.  There was another Chelsea for Chelsea substitution as well which just adds to distate over the loan arrangement with Brown being hooke and replace with Nathan... which is pronounced ‘Narrtan’.  The internet feed is good enough to pick up Ronald who, in response to the referee ignoring a clear foul on Big Vic, let rip with some great expletives which the commentator had to apologise for.

Nathan is well on his way to being a true Chelsea player when he has a dive and wins a free kick which we clear easily enough.  The ball ends up back with the Vitesse defenders who get grief fromt he crowd  when they knock it back to the keeper.  The keeper gives it back to the defender who of course, is not going to play it back this time and a Chelsea defender called Pantic got possessed by the spirit of Ronald Koeman and started strolling out of defence before discovering he was more Neal Trotman than Koeman as he passed the ball straight to Sadio Mané who accelerated away and slotted it past Room from the edge of the box.  It was a truly abysmal piece of defending which could only have been funnier if Dejan Lovren had done it.

It looks like we might get another as Mané raced away on the left before running into Diks who pulled out a rugby tackle and then pulled an innocent face when a free kick was given against him.  JWP delivered well and a combination of J-Rod and Big Vic thumped a header goalwards but Room, the generally pretty good Vitesse keeper, clawed it away well.  Final whistle, job well and truly done.

When we got drawn against Vitesse I had an uneasy feeling that this was going to be difficult so to dispatch them 5-0 on aggregate is a pretty good effort and it really was as simple as it looks and done in a textbook fashion.  3-0 at home and no away goal conceded and score early in the return game to leave them needing 5.  Vitesse played with spirit but they simply weren’t good enough.  Job done and Koeman would have been delighted as he limped off.

It was good to have a game with no tension in it.  There wasn’t very much anxiety before the game and Graziano’s goal made it very straightforward.  Caulker had a solid enough debut despite some obvious rustiness and Martina was decent enough down the right.  I do like the look of Stekelenburg in goal as well – his kicking looks very good and he’s the solid, unfussy type of keeper in the same mould as Fraser Forster.  Up front we looked good with Pellè and Mané and hopefully we can see Sadio played up the middle more this season.  Dave Merrington would be very happy with this… I haven’t heard Big Dave’s opinion today but I’m guessing that he’s banging on in the same way that he always does.  The negatives in the performance were that Tadic and JWP were invisible and I think I saw Maya in the Vitesse half once all game which is always going to be a problem when he plays in the full back position.

The draw for the playoff round which is the last round before the group stages, was conducted in a similar way to the previous draw in that there was a pre-draw of a group of 6 unseeded teams who we could play against.  One of them was Asrta from Romania who knocked out West Ham who decided to field a team of kids in the 2^nd leg and consequently, deservedly got beaten.  To be fair, none of the unseeded teams look particularly difficult opposition and we ended up with the Champions of Denmark, FC Midtjylland.  I wanted to play Norway’s Odd Ballsklub but they’ll have to wait.  All in all it a real chance to get into the group stages with my two favourite clubs, Spurs and Liverpool.

Thoughts now turn to Sunday and the Premier League against Newcastle and the first game for Steve McClaren who always was and always will be, an arse.  Personally, I think this is a tough game to have first and if you offered me a draw now, I’d take it.  Hopefully Clasie will be fit, Long will have recovered and the only injury we have to contend with is the one to the manager.  When asked about his brothers injury afterwards, Erwin Koeman’s comment was ‘shit happens’. Brilliant.

Europa League 3rd Qualifying Round 1st Leg - Southampton 3 Vitesse Arnhem 0

He's Beautiful and He's Back

I don’t ever remember the first competitive game of a season being an important European game but here we are on the 30^th of July at home to Vitesse Arnhem in the Europa League.  It’s important for a number of reasons but mainly because we spent all last season talking about the possibility of European football and having played 38 games to achieve it, we now have to take it seriously and not get knocked out before the season starts and before yours truly gets back from a badly timed family holiday.

It’s a bit of  a landmark moment when you consider where we’ve come from.  The bottom of League One to a Europa League match in 6 years.  Markus and Katherina must be very proud and I’m sure Nicola Cortese is somewhere, stroking the white cat on his lap, looking at his expensive Swiss watch before leaping to his feet and kicking the hell out of a television set as someone switches on the BT Sport coverage from St Mary’s.

Getting drawn against the highest ranked non-seed sent a few shudders through the body but hang on a minute – this is the team that finished 5^th in the Dutch Eredivisie – a know that league inside out and we’ve just played a few Dutch sides in friendlies who are of similar, if not better standard.  It’ll be ok… won’t it… if we turn up and take it seriously.

One clue of course was the starting line-up which looks strong.  Cedric is in at right back and the only question mark for me was Targett or Martina at left back and the English youngster won.  There were a couple of eyebrow-raisers on the bench or not on the bench with J-Rod and Stephen Caulker not making it, Jason McCarthy on the bench ahead of both Jack Stephens and Jordan Turnbull and Paolo Gazzaniga being the reserve keeper ahead of Kelvin Davis.  Gazza does actually look to have improved over the last 6 months whereas Kelvin is now in possession of a shiny new bus pass so I’m not overly surprised at this.

Vitesse are Chelsea’s bitch club.  It’s really hard to see what Vitesse get out of the deal as I assume they are told that the youth players they got loaned by Chelsea have to play (else what’s the point) and the players they are getting loaned are just kids. It’s not like they’re loaning them Loic Remy or John Obi Mikel to keep them sharp in case Jose decides to change his team once in a while and play the odd reserve.  No, it’s Izzy Brown and Lewis Baker – players who you would be amazed if they ever play a first team game for Chelsea and astounded if they played more than ten.  It’s another thing that stinks about the modern game that a super rich Premier League Club can basically toy with one of the best teams in Holland and more ammunition for my argument that the loan system as it stands at the moment is a joke.

If I was king (and I’m sure Blatter and Platini see themselves as kings) I’d look to move towards abolishing the loan system all together so competitions aren’t distorted and clubs actually have to take responsibility for their players, so the super rich actually had to work and be selective, rather than just hoovering up as many youth players as they can in the vague hope that one might make it.  I’m aware that we’ve just signed two players on loan but to my mind, we really shouldn’t be allowed to sign two players contracted to Championship clubs on loan.  The whole system is screwed but it’s a massive debate that no one seems to care about.

Meanwhile, back at St Mary’s, the game starts and we quickly try to go 1-0 down as a poor defensive header by Maya plops down in to Djurdjevic who fires across goal, past Stekelenburg and inches past the far post whilst the crowd collectively goes ‘shit’.  When we attack we’re not looking too shabby with Mané finding space and sending a ball though to Tadic who is trashed by the defender and our momentary ‘last man, red card’ outrage is squashed by an offside flag.  The offending defender was a Achenteh who has the look of a complete thug but more of him later.

Our first effort on goal is from a corner as Steve Davis swings it in and Maya is all alone but his header flies straight at Room in the Vitesse goal.  Making a quiet start (for ‘quiet’, read ‘poor’) start to his Saints career is Jordy Clasie who sells José Fonte short with a simple 10 yard pass and we give a corner away which is cleared easily and it’s back up the other end for another corner as Big Vic, Davis and Mané combine of the right before Sadio’s potential through ball too Graziano is cut out.  Tadic keeps up his form from last year and swings over a shocker which luckily come back to him – a decent cross falls eventually to Big Vic about 12 yards out and he has an age to shoot but it’s too close to the keeper who parries it our to Yoshida who lashes it horribly wide.

It appears to have turned out way fully now with Vitesse leaving one up and hoping for the best.  Davis picks out the keeper with a shot and Tadic picks him out with a free kick which sails about a mile over any Saints player who might have got a touch and straight to the keeper.  It’s the sort of free kick that makes you wonder if they ever practice.

Down the right hand side we go with Cedric moving the ball to Tadic who feed infield to Mané.  With a perfectly weighted ball to find the perfectly timed run from the perfectly formed Graziano who lashes a perfect shot past Room and into the roof of the net.  Brilliant move – superb finish – 1-0.  Vitesse show no more inclination to attack than they did at 0-0 and on 45 we win another corner.  Davis plays a shot one to Mané who turns past his marker and Achenteh steams across and just barges him over.  The only surprise to me is that there was any argument about it as asking if this was a penalty is a bit like asking if the Pope is Catholic or if bears defecate rurally or if Bournemouth fans have chips on their shoulders.

Now, last season Dusan Tadic was a terrible penalty taker but he’s up for it again and this time, instead of the horrible dribbler down the middle, he sidefoots it hard and low and emphatically into the bottom left corner and it’s 2-0 at half time and happy days and a real chance to put the whole tie to bed in the second half, let alone the first leg.

Having said that we have a great chance to put the tie to bed, we then play like drains for the opening fifteen minutes of the second half.  Steve Davis and Tadic pick up deserved yellow cards for deliberate fouls and our only chance falls to Pellé who latches onto a poor header from the hopeless Achenteh and lashes over the bar.  Jordy Clasie brings a very quiet debut to an end by appearing to get a knock and limping off to be replaced by Juanmi and Shane Long is on for Tadic.  This leaves us with four strikers on the pitch in front of Big Vic and Davis.

Vitesse have thrown on another Chelsea player in Pantic and he has a great chance to equalize as Davis is as weak as you can possibly be in midfield and Pantic is clean through as he fastens onto a header forward.  He fires across the keeper and Stekelenburg gets down to superbly block in exactly the same way that Kelvin Davis wouldn’t have done.

It really has gone to ratshit and Koeman does not look happy on the sideline as the game limps on.  With ten to go, Vitesse throw a free kick into the box and it drops to Rashica who has a free shot but he puts it in the crowd.  Rashica isn’t a Chelsea player in case you were wondering if they did actually have any of their own players.

Jose Mourinho would have been kicking his TV in when one of his kids, Lewis Baker, plays a shithouse of a pass across the pitch to the centre back and Long is in and bearing down on goal.  As the keeper comes out, Shane does his best impression of someone who has no idea how to score and just runs into him.  The ball falls to Juanmi who makes his first contribution of the game by standing up a superb cross for Shane to head into an empty net.  3-0 and job done.  There’s jus time for Harrison Reed to come on for Mané and that’s it.

Firstly, it’s about the result and 3-0 is more than decent, especially when you consider that on the same night, West Ham Fair Play United drew 2-2 at home to a Romanian side I’ve never heard of and had their 3^rd player sent off in 5 matches.  The performance however was a bit ropey as we only seemed to turn up for ten minutes in the first half but it was enough.  Vitesse were as disjointed as we were so you’ve got to assume they’ll be better in the 2^nd leg but really, with a 3-0 lead the job is all but done.

There was an interesting comment on the BT Sport commentary that Vitesse had more English players in their starting line up than we did.  We only had Matt Targett but there was no mention of Caulker, Bertrand, Rodriguez & Forster in the stand, nor Reed, McCarthy or Ward-Prowse on the bench.  Anything for a good line though eh chaps…  I found it quite amusing that Senile Old Goat Roy Hodgson was in the crowd though he was probably looking at the two Chelsea lads because that’s how it works.  Apparently he’s told John Stones that he won’t lose his England place if he moves to Chelsea and doesn’t play.  Ridiculous.

The return leg in Vitesse should be a pretty stress free occasion as long as we approach in properly.  I can’t see us resting too many players but I expect Steven Caulker to play and maybe Harrison Reed instead of Clasie who has a bit of a hamstring issue.  So – the season has started and it’s started with a win and that’s all you can hope for really.  I feel that we’re in good shape with the squad but there’s room for one more centre half.  Maybe John Stones will fancy getting a few games for us instead of sitting on his arse or playing for Vitesse Arnhem.