EFL Championship Play-Off Semi-Final 2nd Leg - Southampton 3 West Brom 1

Flynn Celebrates not Winning Man of the Match Vote Again

Championship Play-off second leg and now, ladies and gentlemen, shit gets real. Up until this point there has always been another game to come no matter what but today, that’s just not the case. Lose to West Brom tonight at home and the season is in the bin and we are waiting for the fixtures to be released and we will be looking for the day where we need to put piss proof plastic covers on the seats of the new away section for when John Westwood and his Portsmouth cronies come to St Mary’s. Not having to have that lot darkening our door is of course a minor reason for wanting to beat West Brom today.

A win today and we are of course in the Championship play-off final at Wembley on Sunday week against Leeds United, who completed the task of getting to the final by absolutely demolishing a pathetic Norwich team last night. 4-0 was the final score and without any exaggeration at all, it could’ve been seven. Norwich didn’t turn up as a team and paid the price and were completely blown away Our former goalkeeper Angus Gunn, did not cover himself in glory, and he should’ve done better on at least three of the goals that went past him. He wasn’t helped by a truly pathetic display by those in front of him and it’s already been reported that manager David Wagner has been sacked, which he deserves. I’ll never forgive him for setting up with that back ten when we played them at Carrow Road.

Leeds are through to the final and they deserve it and any humility that their fans might have been infected with, as a result of them pissing away automatic promotion, has firmly been banished by their win against a terrible Norwich team. Win tonight and we join them.

Carlos Corboran has been making noises about tonight as if West Brom are going to come out and try and win the game with attacking football. Can’t see it myself but time will tell. Regardless of what West Brom do, we have to go out and grab this opportunity because after the draw in the away leg, we basically have a one-off game at home against a team we finished above, in order to get to Wembley and a potential return to the Premier League. It’s a favourable set of circumstances that we would undoubtedly have been accepted if we have been offered it at the start of the season.

The circumstances will be even more favourable if Che Adams is fit and all eyes will be on that at 7 pm when the team is announced. Another unknown is what formation Russell Martin will go with. We haven’t played a back three at home this season and if we go for that then there will be a hell of a lot of onus on the wingbacks to get forward and supply the ammunition for the strikers. Ross Stewart is another unknown. If Adams doesn’t make it, will Stewart’s fitness be trusted to start of the game or will he have to wait until the second half to make an appearance in place of Sekou Mara. Tonight should be one hell of an atmosphere regardless of what 11 we put out there and that can only do us good.

Patience will also be a factor today, especially if we don’t get the early goal that would make the task so much more simple. I really would like to avoid the scenario where the game is close and there are 10 minutes to go and Alex McCarthy is playing two-touch passes across the 6 yard box.

I strongly believe that if we turn up and play to our potential, we will win but we can beat ourselves if we demonstrate the Southampton way. That’s the Southampton way of shiting the bed whenever shit gets real We are the favourites tonight and we have to believe that and play in a manner that befits favourites.

So, 7pm and my word have we the fans turned up.  Thousands outside the ground to welcome the team coach and more red smoke canisters sold in Southampton than at any point in history.  Team news and Che hasn’t made it and there’s room for both Wee Man and Brooks with Mara and Manning dropping out from the Leeds game.  OK, so is Wee Man at left wing back or is Stevo left back in a back four, or Kyle or no idea really.  If it’s 3-4-2, is Brooks up front with Arma?  So many questions as kick off gets closer.  Atmosphere building… Mark Dennis is on the mic and giving it loads… here we fucking go.

The questions over Saints formation are partially answered in the first couple of minutes but Russell is clearly looking to fuck around with his opposite number. We start with three at the back with Ryan Fraser left wing back and KWP on the right. Within a couple of minutes, we are a back four with Stephens at right back in KWP on the left. Another couple of minutes and it’s back to the back three. Brooks position is still a bit of a mystery as is very much on the right wing with Arma in the middle.

Saints are certainly up for it and Downes tries a kamikaze run at goalkeeper Palmer when he has the ball in his feet and Palmer completely shits himself.  Arma nearly gets in as well and West Brom are very fortunate to get away with it.

THB chips one over the defence and Brooks is in behind Townsend who has an arm on his shoulder and down goes Brooks in spectacular fashion.  Everyone has clearly seen the pull back but the exaggerated fall and is probably the reason why we don’t get anything.  Still a foul though and Townsend was very lucky. Russell Martin is clearly not having that decision and the fourth official it’s getting an earful.

Another superb ball slid forward by THB and Adam Armstrong is away on the right-hand side.  His low cross is met at the near post by Brooks, who can’t quite angle his foot enough to get it on target and it hits the side netting just behind the post. Close.

West Brom’s first attack sees them nearly take the lead by fluke as Fellows cross deflects up in the air off of a Wee Man block and it’s awkward for McCarthy, who has to backpedal to shovel it over the bar.  Other than that brief foray, West Brom are playing in a very defensive fashion, so when we win the ball is the opportunity to do something. From one such break, Brooks is the only Saints player involved and it looks like we’re gonna get another Sofiane Boufal moment against West Brom, but his final shot is blocked after weaving his way past four players.

That’s more or less it for the first half. West Brom win a couple of corners which result in free headers but we survived and other than that it was us trying to find openings against a very well drilled back ten, with Corberan and his team showing very little interest in engaging in a game of football.  He does look like he’s trying to take off though, with some seriously animated flapping.  I imagine that if you are a Baggies player over his side of the pitch, you are delighted that for the second half, you are over the other side.

Half time and 0-0 and nothing to fear.  The Baggies are just about set pieces and that’s it.  Wallace up front is shite and he’s a Skate and they’re not scoring if we keep concentration.

Zidane Decides to Put His Foot Through One

The second half starts and there’s as early chance For KWP but he drags his shot wide.  West Brom haven’t been particularly good in possession in the first half and they start the second half in the same way with Diangana being sloppy in midfield and Smallbone picking it up. He drives forward before finding Brooks, who holds on long enough for Smallbone to find some space from the edge of the box just to the right and in totally un-Will like fashion, he absolutely belts one past Palmer and it flicks the inside of the near post and in. Fucking hell. I’ve never Will Smallbone hit a ball as hard as that. Get in. What have you got now Carlos?

West Brom immediately have what amounted to a little bit of a flurry.  McCarthy fumbles a cross under pressure from Kipre and just about gets away with it.  To be fair, it probably would have been given as a foul of he hadn’t fallen on the loose ball.   There’s another effort from the edge of the box which is blocked by THB, wide for corner.

West Brom suddenly have a bit of confidence and try to play out from the back but don’t look particularly comfortable doing so.  Kipre turns and knocks it back to Palmer, who for the second time in the match, gets put under pressure and shanks a clearance to Aribo on the left. Big Joe picks out an intelligent run from of Brooks who is absolutely cleaned out by the sliding Kipre. No?  Nothing?  Fucks sake. Are you fucking joking?  On we go.

Up the other end and we have another set-piece to defend which Mowat swings in and another free header drops down off off Stephens to Furlong who absolutely leathers it and it’s probably going over but McCarthy reacts well to make sure.  We react well to the pressure with another incisive move and Smallbone slips Adam Armstrong through in the middle and he looks onside for once from where I am…  and he absolutely buries it but the flag is up straight away.  After all, a second goal would make it less stressful and we can’t have that.

An hour gone and Wee Man goes down, presumably knackered and on comes Manning.  Before long, Edozie if on for Brooks.  Both outgoing players have had good games and it’s probably been the best game of Brooks’ loan spell.

It Was at this Precise Moment, that Carlos Knew He Was Fucked

THB is at it again and slides brilliant ball out of defence up the middle to send Downes away and he runs over to the edge of the West Brom penalty area before teeing up Adam Armstrong on the left and he drills it across, through Furlong’s legs and into the far corner of the net. Fucking brilliant strike from a player who has hardly been in the game up till now.  Get in.

With us being ahead with about 20 minutes to go, there’s obviously no need to do anything daft but we over play a bit of the back and McCarthy presents it to the West Brom midfield. Luckily KWP wins it back and gets us going, sending Jack Stephens gallivanting through the midfield. He takes the ball on like Downes earlier, gets to the edge of the box before sliding it left to Manning who hits the deck under a combined challenge from Fellows and M’Vila.  It’s a lot less clear cut that the Brooks one but it’s given.   Up steps Adam Armstrong and with his confidence being the where it is at the moment, you know where it’s going and bang, 3-0, game over.

Icing. Cake

Time is done now, 97 minutes have gone and you know, we might get a draw here.  One more set piece to negotiate and in it comes, Kipre gets up ahead of sub Shea Charles and it’s a good header to be fair, away from McCarthy and into the corner of the net.  Does it matter?  Well, ten seconds later it doesn’t, and we are at Wembley.  A pitch invasion?  Really?  Ah well – we don’t get to clap the players off then.

Well that was absolutely brilliant from the boys. The first half was cagey, mainly because West Brom made it that way, but once Will Smallbone opened the scoring, they had absolutely no answer at all. In the end, it was relatively comfortable which of course, important games never usually are for Southampton.

Russell Martin clearly wanted to keep Carlos Corboran confused about what we were doing for as long as possible as we started with a back five, swapped toa four and then back again within the first three minutes or so. There weren’t too many chances in the first half and it was obvious from about 15 minutes onwards that it was just gonna be a case of could we break the Baggies down and could we withstand the odd set piece that they threw into the box. Like the first game, they didn’t commit any players into the penalty area apart from the bare minimum and the farthest forward player was Skate Jed Wallace who was never gonna do anything up there on his own. We didn’t defend the set pieces particularly well and we got a bit fortunate on occasions allowing West Brom to get the first knock on virtually every one.

As a spectacle, it needed the goal at the start of the second half and Saints certainly needed to go in front because going behind would’ve been a fucking nightmare. The Baggies had been sloppy in possession for a lot of the first half Diangana’s crap pass in midfield led directly to the opening goal, superbly created by Brooks and finished by Smallbone.  I’ve often criticised Will for not putting his foot through some of the chances he has to shoot but he certainly did today.  Should the keeper have saved it?  I think it’s a rare case of a near post goal where the keeper had no chance.

With a brief West Brom flurry survived, the second goal set up by the machine that is Flynn Downes rumbling through midfield, and finished superbly by Adam Armstrong, was brilliant and that was the end of that.  There was no way the Baggies were scoring two.  The penalty given for the least obvious of our three shouts, was well despatched by Armstrong, which made it just a minor irritation when West Brom scored in with the last header of the game.  I hope Carlos was happy with his consolation goal from 180 minutes of zero intent.

It was another game when we were immense all over the pitch with every single player contributing and no one having a bad game from McCarthy through to Armstrong. David Brooks had a particularly impressive game and Aribo and Smallbone are getting better with every single game. The formation change really seems to have helped them.  Ryan Fraser was decent again at left wing back and Ryan Manning did well when he came on, straight away defending with the same intensity that I’ve been shown by the three centre halves and KWP for the first hour of the game.

Flynn Downes - machine.  Even if the bloke only plays one more game for Southampton (which is something I don't really want to think about), then what a man and what a player.  He absolutely dominated again and you may as well rename the Man of the Match award as 'Player Who Scored the Most Goals' award, if he's not winning that.

Fucking hell, did the fans step up today or what? Personally, I couldn’t get down there early enough to see the team arrive but the images on social media afterwards are exceptional.  I haven't seen so much smoke outside the ground since the postponed game against Preston. The atmosphere generated outside the ground then transferred to the inside of the ground and I don’t think I’ve ever seen the ground as one, all up for the occasion. I’ve always felt that has a fan base and Southampton people is general are quite understated and reserved and it takes a lot to get everyone responding like that. Brilliant stuff.

I guess it was inevitable given the heightened emotions of the day but the only slight pisser for me, was the pitch invasion which in my book was totally unnecessary.  Goading the West Brom fans and players also completely unnecessary and not really worth risking a ban for.  I’d rather see the players given the opportunity to celebrate their achievement with their families and fans but some people are selfish and only think about themselves. Also, why have a pitch invasion when you haven’t done anything yet?  This will all be for nothing if we don’t win next week.  Maybe the club should’ve made it abundantly clear at the start of the game they wanted people to stay off the pitch but then I don’t expect they thought it was a possibility in the semi-finals.  There was nothing put on the bloody great scoreboards we have at both ends saying ‘stay off the pitch’, which they really could have put up there with a minute to go and a 3-0 lead.

Another brilliant day for Russell Martin.  I loved the shithousing from the start with the changing formation and also the very obvious tactic of putting and advertising board in the way to stop the long throws being so effective.  They were never going to stop them coming in of course but at least it would have played on Furlong's mind when he was winding up.  Nice one. We've been too nice and too soft for too long.

Anyway, a brilliant performance in a game that could have been very tricky against a team who would have been quite happy to go to penalties from the first minute last week. Game 49 of the season now looms and I hope everyone who wants to go can get hold of tickets   Next Sunday, Wembley, Leeds, bring it on and of course, Up the fucking Saints.

EFL Championship Play-Off Semi-Final 1st Leg - West Brom 0 Southampton 0

Boing, boing, Sit Down He's Saved It

The three-game season starts now with a trip to The Hawthorns to play West Bromwich Albion in the Championship play-off first leg. I remember when the play-offs first came in in 1987 and thought they were absolutely absurd, because prior to them, the team finishing third took their deserved place in the division above, based on being proven the third best team over the season and no one ever complained about it. At the time of the change, it seemed gimmicky and all a bit American but here we are now, 30 years later and it’s now part of the fabric of football in this country. If we didn’t have the playoffs of course, then our season would be over and we would be in the Championship next year but as it is, we have the chance to achieve something spectacular by getting promoted back to the League of Greed.

Standing in our way initially are West Bromwich Albion who finished one place below us in the final reckoning in the regular Championship season. They have basically been in fifth place ever since the season settled down in about October of last year and have always been seen as the best of the rest, outside of the top four who of course made a bit of a break for it.  We have of course played them twice this year and beaten them twice, the first of which was a slightly fortunate 2-1 win at St Mary’s, where Adam Armstrong popped up with a late winner having controlled the ball somewhat fortuitously with both his shins before rifling a shot across the keeper and into the far corner. The previous game at West Brom, brought us a relatively comfortable 2-0 win, when Russell Martin put on a bit of a tactical masterclass which included adequately replacing the loss of Flynn Downes and most notably, Jack Stephens playing his hybrid left back/midfielder role which worked in that game but didn’t work very well afterwards. Corboran against Martin will be a key battle today and who knows what either will come up with. West Brom, like ourselves, finished the season in slightly flat fashion, with three defeats in a row, followed by a decent win on the last day.

I’d like to think that West Brom will be going into this with masses of confidence because of those three defeats and also, they win on the last day was against Preston, who over the last month of the season have been the worst team in the division by a mile. Saints have also of course lost three games in a row but last week’s excellent win at Leeds has given everyone a boost and I would imagine we are the more confident going into this game given that win and the fact that we’ve beaten West Brom twice this season, there should be no inferiority complex.

What Saints have to prove is that they can do it when it really matters, when the pressure is on because recent history does not look too clever in that regard. Over the past few seasons, whenever we’ve had the opportunity to do anything, be it move out of a relegation zone, move into the top half of the league or even this season when we had the chance to consolidate second place, we have 100% record in shitting the bed and not achieving it. The last time I remember us having a serious milestone to achieve was when we played Newcastle at home on a Friday night with a chance of going top of the league early on in the season. We managed that but we have managed nothing significant since. Is it in the fabric of the club to bottle it when it becomes important? We will see.

If you had asked the average West Brom fan at the start of the season what they thought the season would look like, they would’ve been quite happy with mid table obscurity but Carlos Corboran has got a tune out of the team at his disposal and they’ve been pretty consistent all season and now, with a new owner, things are looking up for the Baggies. Hopefully, not too much though. Corboran has a good reputation and it’s largely anticipated that he could set up his team in such a way for us to make it very difficult to break them down. West Brom will know that they cannot afford to be behind after the first leg so I’m expecting today to be somewhat cagey.  Corboran is also hyper and the sort of manager whose antics get on your nerves with all his bouncing up and down and gesticulating on the touchline.  He managed of course, to get himself sent off against us last time when he kicked the ball whilst it was still in play.

Team news and unsurprisingly, it’s three at the back with wing backs, as per the Leeds game.  Just reading down the list of names and all good… Sekou Mara… What? Why?  Che is injured and Ross Stewart isn’t ready to start yet.  I guess it was a choice between Mara or Sulemana… or playing with ten.

Saints kick-off and knock it back to McCarthy, who boots it long and West Brom pick it up and we spent 10 minutes not touching the ball as the crosses come flying into the box and West Brom pick up all the second balls. We stand firm however and eventually start to play our way into the game.  It’s all high energy and the crowd are up for it but not much quality and nothing on target for McCarthy to deal with.

When Saints start to play, the first chance comes as Aribo drives through midfield before sending the ball right to KWP, who cuts in and hits it and it flicks of Townshend and goes just wide of the far post.

We look properly into the game now and following a Baggies clearance out to our left, Downes win the ball back off of Fellows and finds Aribo who takes out two defenders putting Downes in on the keeper but from an angle, his shot is blocked by Palmer straight up in the air and drops to Adam Armstrong, who tries to smash the cover off it when it returns to earth and as is usually the case, doesn’t get a clean connection on it and puts it into the side netting. To be honest that’s poor.  Downes should’ve taken it first time and Armstrong should definitely have got that on target but unfortunately, he’s done his usual and lashed at it.

Another attack brings a corner on the left as Diangana trips over the corner flag trying to prevent it.  In it comes from Smallbone, headed up rather than out and Mara attempts an overhead kick which goes so far wide that it’s barely worth talking about in terms of it being a shot. A stat-padder if ever there was one.

West Brom put together their first really decent move down our right-hand side and win a free kick when Diangana is tagged by Aribo. They take a quickly then work out to Fellows on their right and he pisses past Manning and stands up great cross of the back post and Diangana meets it and heads down and we all silently mouth the word “fuck”, but McCarthy gets across well to block.  Great save that.

Half time and it’s been tense and a bit dull.  Not bad though because we’ve drawn the sting out and played the better football.  Fellows vs Manning is a bit of a worry however.  No subs for either team and away we go.

West Brom have the first chance as the much-hyped Mikey Johnson gets a ball over from the left and Furlong gets in ahead of Aribo and jabs it wide with the soul of his boot.  It’s a pretty even opening of the second half with not a lot happening.  Saints are having decent possession but nothing much happening up front.

Here He Is

The substitutions happen with about twenty to go and it’s three forwards coming on with Wee Man, Brooks and Ross Stewart on for Manning, Mara and Adam Armstrong.  We’ve changed formation as well with Jack at left back, which puts him directly against Fellows and that particular battle doesn’t start too well as following some not brilliant, attempted challenges by Aribo and Stephens, Fellows pulls a low cross back to Diangana near the penalty spot and he hits it and Macca saves again.  Smallbone clears it to Brooks, who lobs it over the defence to Stewart who has stayed onside. Stewart takes the ball out of the left hand side before lining up Furlong and cutting across the box and hits it.  It flicks off Bartley and Palmer who has dived the wrong way sticks a foot out and saves it whilst we all go “yeaaaaaaaaaaaa-fuck” or something like that.

The last fifteen really petered out with both teams settling for a draw.  There is only one real incident as Diangana tried his luck on the right against Fraser and goes past him until gets to the edge of the penalty area and dives like a motherfucker. Absolutely disgraceful cheating and luckily the referee didn’t give anything.  There may have been the slightest accidental contact but the Olympic level throwing his arms out was spectacular.  Fuck off.

Well I said it would be cagey and so it proved with both teams seemingly settling for a draw.  As far as we are concerned, I think it’s a decent result because being a goal down would’ve been an absolute fucking nightmare playing against a Carlos Corboran team. I feel that if this has been a single game affair today then we would’ve done a lot more in an attacking sense than we did today.  I was a bit surprised at West Brom’s lack of intent to go out and win this but I guess Corboran just isn’t built that way.  Two players in the opposition box at most.

The 2017 player of the season version of Alex McCarthy turned up today, making a very good save in the first half from Diangana’s header and pulling out a smart save from the same players’ low shot in the second half.   He also took every cross and long throw that came his way with consummate ease and confidence.  One shite pass but overall excellent. 

That second half chance for West Brom which led directly to Ross Stewart‘s effort 30 seconds later, was kind of the limit of the goalmouth entertainment in the second half.  Our efforts in the first half were from KWP and the Downes/Armstrong incident and that was it.  Overall it wasn;t a great attacking spectacle and 0-0 is fair.

A Rare Containing Both Mara and the Ball

The major shock/disappointment/incredulity in the starting lineup was of course Sekou Mara, who has done absolutely fuck all this season to warrant been given their responsibility to play in the biggest game of the season. The only reason he was selected of course was because Ross Stewart is not fit enough to start games yet.  It’s a bit like winning a race because everyone else has fallen over.   Maybe Sulemana would have been better - I know he’s done nothing this season either but there always seems to be the possibility that he might. Mara is very consistent in that you know what you’re going to get… not much.

The bloke hasn’t even put in a decent substitute appearance for about four months and today was exactly as predicted. In the first half, his main contribution was to roll up one leg of his shorts and jog about for five minutes with one up one down. Then he rolled the other one up and ambled around till half-time. One decent turn in the second half where he was fouled was the limit of his involvement.  When he went off it was a blessing and Ross Stewart looked decent and dangerous when he came on.  If the keeper hadn’t made that unbelievable save from the deflected shot then it would have been a story and a half.  It still might be.

It was also a relatively quiet game for the referee Sam Barratt, who was decent and handled the game well.  He only had one potential issue with the dive at the end and got that spot on.

Defensively today it was another clean sheet and we were okay, without being watertight. We did cough up possession occasionally with some sloppy stuff around the edge of our own penalty area with both Jack Stephens and THB being guilty at times. Ryan Manning had a tough game against Tom Fellows on our left and that is something that we do need to sort out for the second game because Jack Stephens struggled there as well.  I wouldn’t be surprised if James Bree is considered a better option in the return game on Friday but for me, he’s been pretty hopeless recently and a winger of Fellows pace would be Bree’s kryptonite. Flynn Downes was as usual, the main man in the centre of midfield, driving forward to good effect with both Smallbone and Aribo starting the game well before fading into the second half.

Overall, I think Russell Martin will be happy with that end result and it will be interesting to see how we set up for the second leg. Will we play three at the back at home or will it be the more usual 4-3-3 formation? Whichever way he decides to go, as long as Che Adams recovers, we will at least have 11 proper players out on the pitch which will give us an advantage over today.

Half-time in the tie and absolutely nothing to fear in the second leg. Let’s fucking do this. Up the fucking Saints

 

EFL Championship Match 32 - West Bromwich Albion 0 Southampton 2

 

Someone in Bournemouth Has Boiled Piss Right Now

Boing, boing, fucking boing. Just three days after our first defeat in 25 games, we do not have the ideal game to get us back on track with a trip to The Hawthorns to face West Bromwich Albion who have comprehensively proven themselves to be the best team outside of the top four in the Championship this season – The Best of the Rest if you will. They, like Bristol City, also gave us a very good game at St Mary‘s that we were somewhat fortunate to win.

Whilst failing to win this wouldn’t be the end of the world, another defeat would be somewhat worrying for the self-belief in the squad and the belief of the supporters. I don’t expect anyone seriously thought we were going to go the rest of the season without losing but the bubble of invincibility would someone be punctured by two defeats in a row and would maybe play on peoples minds, bearing in mind the four-game blip we had at the start of the season. I am confident we are a much better side than we were then so I’m expecting a response today to what was a pretty substandard outing on Tuesday.

West Brom manager Carlos Corberan and has impressively managed his squad into the playoff positions, an achievement especially notable given the off-field chaos that is happening at the club at the moment. News from the West Brom camp is that they appear to have a prospective new owner who will be sat in the crowd today, so this will be a bit of an occasion for them.  Promotion to the Premier League this season would make the new guy happy with his investment. When we played them at St Mary‘s earlier in the season, the two biggest threats were the veteran Matt Phillips and Grady Diangana, but neither of those have been playing recently, Phillips through injury and Diangana through being involved in the Afcon.

Talking of which, Joe Aribo is expected to be back in the squad today and apart from travel and what that takes out of you, he should be fresh as he didn’t get too many minutes in Nigeria’s run to the final. The main injury worry is of course over Flynn Downes and if he’s not available then Russell Martin has to find a solution which preferably doesn’t involve a midfield like we’ve had when conceding all the goals over the last two games.

The other news that followed the Bristol City game was about director of football Jason Wilcox, who David Ornstein of all people was touting that he was likely to be offered a position at Manchester United. Needless to say, no one at Saints knows anything about it so this is clearly a media driven unsettling tactic and of course United have just approached a different former City man as head of football operations, so the link is obvious. Well, if Manchester United wants something from your club then usually there’s not a lot you can do about it and it ends up happening sooner rather than later. Though at a much higher level, this has elements of Joe Shields about it, who made his name in youth football at Tottenham before being offered a first team level role at Saints before buggering off to the bright lights of another big club, namely Chelsea. Let’s hope that Wilcox will want to see the job through here but I’ve thought that on many occasions about many players and many backroom staff over the years so I wouldn’t get your hopes up.

Team news and on the face of it, it’s not too bad. Shea Charles has been given another chance in midfield alongside Smallbone and Stuart Armstrong, which is as close to first choice as we are going to get today with Downes missing. Sekou Mara has been given a run as the central striker which means Adam Armstrong reverting to the wing of the major surprise is in defence with the shoehorn coming out again to get Jack Stephens into the side, this time it looks like he’s at left back.

The Referee Applies the Rules and Sets Himself Up For Load of Abuse

Jack wonders why the Skate Bastard Talking to Our Manager?

I am dreading us producing another lethargic performance like we had against Bristol City but we start well and there’s a zip about our play as we play the ball about and West Brom can barely get a touch.  The first touch they have is on seven minutes, when following a challenge in our left back area on Mara, the ball is rolling along the touchline until the Baggies hyperactive manager Carlos Corboran decides to stick his foot onto the field of play and actually touches the ball, believing it had gone out I assume. Following a quick word with the linesman to confirm that the ball hadn’t gone out of play, the referee comes over in waves a red card at the West Brom manager, which seems ludicrously harsh until you realise that thems the rules, so harsh or otherwise, he has to go.

This ridiculous miscarriage of justice (as they see it) now has the Baggies faithful baying for blood every time the referee moves.  He is now getting given ridiculous amounts of shit for crimes like, giving Saints a corner when a West Brom player puts it out, or for the howling error of giving us a free kick when one of their players goes through one of ours. The main problem is that West Brom can’t get a touch of the ball in any controlled fashion.

When we get going again Saints are knocking around the back and Baz puts THB in the shit by leaving one a bit short but we scramble well and Bednarek takes charge and gets it out right and we break through KWP and the ball eventually end up with Fraser on the left and his shot flicks off a West Brom player and goes wide for a corner, to howls of protest at the this horrible correct decision injustice from the West Brom fans. We take it short and Stuart Armstrong swings over and Wee Man has got himself completely free at the back post to brilliantly cushion a volley across the goalkeeper and into the net.  Oh look, more pissing and moaning from West Brom towards the referee, in particular from Darnell Furlong who has got himself well under the ball and he was never gonna get anywhere near it and he happened to bump into Sekou Mara who was not moving. Not even in the Premier League with VAR and their directive to disallow every goal if at all possible, is that getting disallowed.

Ladies and Gentleman, Wee Man

West Brom‘s prospective new owner has been here for twenty minutes and seen his manager get sent off and the team go a goal behind. He almost sees another goal straight after that as Adam Armstrong gets free on the right wing and hammers the ball across with Stuart Armstrong narrowly failing to get a touch as he slid in. Again, a West Brom defender has got a toe to the cross coming in to take it away from Armstrong, again the referee correctly gives a corner, again he’s given no end of shit by the West Brom players and supporters.

West Brom finally wake up and start causing us a few problems and after a bit of pinball, Swift takes over and hits one from 25 yards out and it’s always curling wide and Baz has it covered anyway. The direction of travel of the game has certainly changed a little bit with West Brom pouring it on now and a cross from the left is met by Furlong in the middle and his side foot volley, hits Jack Stephens and flicks over the bar.  Cue much arm waving and imploring of the ref, again.  When that it ‘hit’ Jack Stephens, what I actually mean is that it looks like he stuck his arm out and pushed it over the bar with his hand. They are going mental about it but the referee is having none of it. Maybe it’s a case of cry wolf? Who knows.  It certainly isn't as clear as they'd like to think it is. 

In comes the corner and the head of Yokuslu and Stephens has the nightmare scenario of being one yard out, facing his own goal with the ball in between him and the goal line and a player up his arse.  He can do nothing and hope everyone misses it or he can do what he did – swing a leg at it and somehow send it over the bar.

Anyway, we have made it up to half-time but there needs to be a bit of a rethink for the second half because we were severely under pressure for the last fifteen minutes or so. No changes in personnel and away we go.

After kind of nondescript first 15 minutes of the second half, it’s time for an energy boost from the bench, with Shea Charles and Ryan Fraser being replaced by Afcon Aribo and Sam Edozie.  Soon after, David Brooks replaces Adam Armstrong who has had a pretty average game.  Carlos Corboran has obviously got on the phone from his office to his look-a-like assistant and instructed him to make a triple sub and the only reason I’m talking about this is because it was very funny seeing ex-Skate Jed Wallace‘s reaction to being substituted. Let’s just say he wasn’t particularly happy. Sit down Skate bastard.

Mara throws himself to the ground in the penalty area whilst being held by Kipre but you’re not gonna get a penalty for that and from the next attack, Aribo drives forward and tries to feed it into Mara but he loses it and West Brom try and pass out defence back but a great tackle by Bednarek wins it back.  Smallbone to Aribo, out to Stuart Armstrong, into the penalty area to Edozie, low cross to Brooks, one touch away from the defender, goal, brilliant goal.  Yaaaaaassssssssss! What’s most impressive is the way Brooks first touch takes it across and away from the lumbering Erik Pieters.

The game is done now.  Sulemana cames on for us to flatter to deceive for a bit in place of Mara.  There is just one alarm in the last five minutes as Diangana gets to the line and stands up across for Yokuslu and Baz uses his feet superbly to get across the line and tip it over the bar. It’s such an impressive save that West Brom have to delay taking the corner for about five minutes whilst all of our defenders go through the full routine of hugs and fist bumps with Baz.

Final whistle.  After the lethargic performance against Bristol City just three days ago, there was always the worry that we might be a bit burnt out but what a response that was. This season has had many excellent wins but this was probably the best of the lot as we gave a pretty perfect demonstration of what Russell Martin football is all about. We dominated the ball, controlled the game and barely let West Brom get a foothold at any time.

After the rather bizarre red card shown to Corboran, which by the letter of the law, had to be administered, we took over with Ryan Fraser score in the first goal, straight off the training ground. It’s one thing to practice something in training but it’s another thing to execute it as well as that during the match. It was a superb cross by Armstrong and a wonderful finish by the Wee Man.  Mara’s part cannot be underplayed with his positioning but it aint a foul if he just stands there.

The other main incident of the first half was of course the shot by Furlong which was cleverly shovelled / deflected over the bar by Captain Jack. In the Premier League, with about 20 minutes on VAR, it probably would have been a penalty, but this is the Championship so move on.  Jack then produced a very impressive clearance off the line. I’m not sure he entirely meant to scoop it over the bar but that, along with the extra height defending all the crosses into the mixer, justified his selection on its own. He looked a bit like a fish up a tree on the left at times but it was worth the change today for his defensive qualities.  We’ve used James Bree in similar fashion at times this season where we have a back three on the ball and a back four when they’ve got it.

Of the other slightly surprising selections by Russell, Shea Charles had a much better game than he did against Bristol City and added solidity in midfield and got his head on a few set pieces that were launched into the box by West Brom. He also provided cover behind KWP when the full-back went bombing forward.  It’s obvious that Russell had spent the time since the Bristol game devising a plan to stop us being so vulnerable on the counter attack with Downes not being fit.

Surprisingly, Will Smallbone was deployed as the defensive midfielder but crucially, both Charles and Stuart Armstrong worked so hard to make sure that he didn’t get isolated where his lack of pace would be a problem.   Will, for his part, was very disciplined and didn’t get caught ahead of the ball anywhere near as much as in the games against Huddersfield and Bristol City.  Basically, we were much more compact in there and everyone did their job defensively.  When Charles got substituted, Joe Aribo came on and carried on the good work as we closed the game out with minimal fuss apart from the one save that Baz had to make , which owed everything to his speed at getting across the line to get himself to the right position to make the save.

In an attacking sense, the subs came on and did their thing with Joe Aribo and Sam Edozie both coming off the bench to be heavily involved in the second goal for another substitute, David Brooks.  It’s brilliant to see Brooks doing well and clearly enjoying his time here so far.

Russell Martin gave a very interesting interview after the game where he talked about how much he didn’t enjoy the Bristol City game when he watched it back, which probably fed into how well we played today. He had the opportunity for the Sky cameras to explain his style of football and came across as a manager totally at ease with his own philosophy and entirely comfortable in his own skin. He will probably be linked with Manchester United by the fucking Athletic now as well.

Talking of which, it turns out that no one has heard a dickie bird from Manchester United, not Jason Wilcox, not Russell Martin, not Phil Parsons the chairman - so it is 100% Manchester United leaking things to David Ornstein to try and sound out Wilcox without approaching him. Scumbag tactics but what do we expect? There was a time not so long ago when David Ornstein, like Fabrizio Romano was kind of credible but now they’ve sunk to kind of tabloid level, making and facilitating the news rather than reporting it.  

This was a serious performance in response to the setback on Tuesday. This is a performance that says to Leeds and Ipswich that we are not going to fall away and that we are going to keep going till the end of the season and we are not gonna make it easy for you. It’s important and it was a brilliant performance and result today. 

Back up to 2nd place for a few hours at least until Leeds visit Plymouth for the lunchtime game on Saturday (UPDATE: they won 2-0).  Leeds got promoted on Wednesday when they went second in the league if you listen to the very noisy element of their fan base (most of them). The games never stop for us however and it’s another difficult one on Tuesday with the visit of Hull City.

Up the fucking one game unbeaten Saints.

EFL Championship Match 16 - Southampton 2 West Bromwich Albion 1

 

Oh There He Is!

The once mighty West Bromwich Albion visit St Mary‘s today, in a rather surprising 5^th place in the league, off the back of a run three successive wins. Surprising because they seem to have been in financial turmoil ever since dropping out of the Premier League a couple of seasons ago. Manager Carlos Corboran has developed a pragmatic playing style regarding the way they sit deep and attempt to hit teams on the break. Earlier on in the season this would’ve been the perfect way to going about beating us but we are a lot better now with regards to over-committing when we have the ball.  This could well be a game where the first goal is crucial,so we have course are hoping to replicate our fast starts against Leeds and Birmingham. West Brom‘s main attacking threats are the wingers Diangana and Phillips so I expect KWP and Bree to be kept on their toes this afternoon.  Our last game against West Brom was in the Premier League at the Hawthorns when we had Ralph Hasenhuttl as manager and they had the gravy quaffing expertise of Sam Allardyce.  Fat Sam won the day as we were fucking abysmal and collapsed to a pathetic 3-0 defeat, which was a result that neither stopped West Brom going down or us staying up.

It’s been a relatively quiet week at St Mary’s and the main decision Russell Martin has to make is how to replace Jan Bednarek in the starting lineup. Having seen the way that James Bree slotted into left back rather than moving everyone else around, I’m kind of expecting a like for like replacement with Mason Holgate coming in. Hopefully the fact that Holgate’s three starts have seen us concede nine goals, won’t have too much of a bearing today.

Elsewhere, the Nathan Jones masterclass on how he beat Manchester City on his own, didn’t secure him the job at Millwall which statistically, I’m sure they will regret.  Afterwards, he said that statistically, his masterclass was one of the best in Europe in terms of xPotency and xAggression, and that he could have stayed in Wales and done a podcast about mining villages, but he wanted to test himself by not marrying a Welsh girl and leaving to do a masterclass.  I realise that all of these jokes have been done before but in my mind, they are still amusing.

To today and 2pm brought answers to the questions we were all asking and true to form, Russell Martin made as few changes as he had to, with Mason Holgate coming in for the suspended Bednarek and other than that it was unchanged with James Bree having obviously recovered from the knock that forced him off against Millwall last week.  The headline news is that Ross Stewart is on the bench.

Come on lads, fast start.  Nothing for the first four minutes other than realising that the formation had changed a bit and we were playing a kind of 4-4-2 with Charly on the left and Stu on the right.  West Brom had played three-at-the-back recently in away games but they were 4-4-2 as well so matched up.  Whether we surprised them or not with the formation change, we’ll never know but in the 5^th minute, Alcaraz slid a ball in to Stuart Armstrong who had turned up on the left behind the full back.  His pull back finds Adam Armstrong who has to score but he hits the keeper and Smallbone smashes the rebound and it looks like it is cleared off the line… fuck!  Oh hang on… we have no VAR but we do have goal-line tech, one-fucking-nil, get in!!

A difference between the Championship and the Premier League then became apparent as Smallbone put Adam Armstrong through with a slide rule pass but it’s given offside by the lino who flagged straight away.  Five minutes later, THB missed out midfield and puts Armstrong through and again it’s given offside by an early flag.  Both offsides were close but the lino, who was best placed to see, thought they were both offside so fair enough and no drama.

If this had been a Premier League game, that last paragraph might have read:

Smallbone put Adam Armstrong through with a slide rule pass and on he goes, draws the keeper and slots it past him for 2-0.  We all go “YEEEEEEH-fuck as he’s just put the flag up.  Off to Stockleigh Park and it’s clearly a close one as it’s taking ages whilst the etch-a-sketch draws some lines and what do you know, it’s offside by fucking miles so why couldn’t the twat have put his flag up straight away.  Action replay a few minutes later as THB missed out midfield and puts Armstrong through and again, no flag and he’s in but overruns it and clatters the keeper who looks like he’s dead.  Arma rolls it into the empty net and the Baggies centre backs kick off and the handbags come out and once more we’re off to Stockley Park and after ten minutes we establish that it’s miles offside again and the lino should have flagged, no punches were thrown and after a check of the monitor, two of their players get yellow cards and Arma gets one as well, presumably for being pushed in the face.  Shambles.

Back in the real world in the Championship and Alcaraz breaks infield from the left and spreads it wider KWP and he finds Sulemana who helps onto Smallbone who launches it into space.

Just before half time, we get a bit ragged with Downes getting booked for a wild attempt to try and regain possession after we’d lost it in our own half and West Brom wake up a bit in an attacking sense and Jed Wallace, Skate Bastard gets a cross in and it bounces out to Thomas-Asante, whose effort is headed wide by Holgate.  A warning. Half time.

It’s been quite comfortable to be honest as we’ve been as good in possession as usual and West Brom haven’t really threatened.  Our lack of efforts on goal after the 5^th minute is irritating and you feel that West Brom are going to put a bit more together in the second half.

After ten minutes of holding pattern, Smallbone goes down and the obvious substitution is to bring on Shea Charles but it’s Ryan Fraser coming on which means readjustment for Stuart Armstrong and we appear to have gone to our more regular 433 formation, with Stu and Charly both in the midfield, which seems a bit unnecessarily risky as we are ahead.

West Brom have been better since half-time and begin look the better side with powerful Phillips cutting off the left wing and curling one quite a long way wide of the far post. West Brom are growing though and we are doing the opposite, not keeping the ball particularly well and seemingly lacking in a bit of energy.

Shit...

Phillips again picks up the ball on the left and Townsend wins a corner off of Downes. Russell Martin has got three subs lined up to come on but doesn’t want to do it before the corner which ends up back over the far side before being crossed back in by Skate Wallace and Thomas-Asante rises to smash a header against the bar and Bartley walks it into the net from practically on the line. Fuck. Can’t say it hasn’t been coming though

Now the subs can be made with Manning, Adams and Charles coming on for Bree, Sulemana and surprisingly, Flynn Downes.  Saints immediately look more energetic and Fraser has a shot blocked on the edge of the box but then it’s panic station as Saints get the defending all wrong as Charles falls over and West Brom break again with Wallace putting a cross over which was superbly headed away by Holgate.

At least we are creating a bit ourselves now and KWP brings it down the right and slides the ball in to Stuart Armstrong who needs to pull it back but doesn’t get his foot around it and it’s easy pickings for the goalkeeper.  At the other end, Townsend is allowed to sling in a cross from the left and it’s met by the right back Furlong who easily gets above Ryan Manning before sending a header onto the bar and over. At this point with about fifteen to go, I am more than happy to take a point.

We work the ball out of Fraser on the left and he switches on his right foot and crosses.  Stuart Armstrong goes for the header and it flicks off a defender and the left back has followed him and it bounces down to Adam Armstrong at the back post and all he has to do is control and knock it into the net which he does comfortably. 2-1, fucking get in there.

All Eyes on the New Right Winger

It’s more or less Adam Armstrong‘s last contribution as he’s replaced by Ross Stewart who takes his place on the right wing, with Adams still in the middle. West Brom put a cross into the box which are dealt with by Mason Holgate who was getting better and better as the game goes on.  In comes the corner headed away for another corner. In it comes in and everyone is hacking at the ball and it’s about three yards out, Thomas-Asante swings a boot at it and somehow it’s a great save by Bazunu before we hack it away.  

The end… get in!! Well that was sketchy as fuck but we got there in the end, immediately putting me in mind of the QPR game earlier on in the season, where we similarly didn’t play particularly well but managed to nick it with her relatively late goal by Adam Armstrong, who once again gave a typical Adam Armstrong performance, not doing very much at all but then popping up with a goal.

Overall, I would say that we got a bit lucky here and a draw would have been a fair result.  Russell Martin was brave on 55 minutes when Smallbone got injured, bringing on Ryan Fraser instead of Shea Charles, which left us with the midfield three which included both Alcaraz and Stuart Armstrong, two players not exactly known for their defensive discipline. He wanted to make further changes before West Brom scored and he managed to change it eventually after they equalised and we just about got us over the line thanks to Fraser’s cross, the confusion caused by Stuart Armstrong arriving late in the box and Arma’s finish. Once we got in front, we had our first glimpse of Ross Stewart for 15 minutes, playing a slightly unfamiliar right wing spot but he worked hard and he looks like he’s going to be a right rangy awkward handful when he gets fully fit and establishes a place in the side in his proper position.

In a game with the first goal was always going to be very important, to get it after five minutes was a major bonus but though we pretty much dominated the first half, we didn’t kick on and didn’t work the Baggies goalkeeper at all before half-time. West Brom barely had a touch anywhere near a penalty area but in the second half they were the better side and literally a minute before Armstrong scored, as said, I was quite happily settle in for a point.

What’s the cliché?…. the sign of a good team is one that can play badly and still win? That was kind of us today.  Tactically we set up a little bit different today, which I guess was some sort of adaptation needed for the opposition and we basically matched them up. Our more traditional four in midfield pretty much dominated in the first half but Kamaldeen Sulemana had a very listless performance up front and Adam Armstrong as discussed, was his usual. I think the opposition made it the kind of game but it ended up being because they were very solid and didn’t lose their shape at all, even when 1-0 down.

Anyone order Steamed Skate?

Mason Holgate got named as man of the match by the rather clumsy stadium announcement that happened whilst the game was in progress. Not sure about that because THB was the one organising the defence and he was absolutely flawless.  Holgate did however play very well after the opening minute or so. He has an aggressive streak to his defending and gets in there and gets to the ball before the striker. He is also obviously a bit of a wind-up merchant and it is a bit of a lightning rod for the opposition doing stupid things. We should’ve had a penalty in the first half for Holgate’s shirt being virtually ripped off his back. With the two centre backs and the goalkeeper being our best players today, it probably explains quite a lot about the game.

Another side note from today is that Russell Martin picked up his third booking so he will not be on the touchline in our next game against Huddersfield, which happens after the international break. It will be interesting to see whether that has any adverse effect but that’s certainly a game where we need to continue our positive form against one of them or struggling sides in the division.

Up the Fucking Saints

Premier League Match 31 - West Brom 3 Southampton 0

 

"Over to our Guest Summariser; Jeff Goldblum"

Here we are in the graveyard slot on Monday night at 6 pm for an away game at West Brom. It’s Live on Sky but absolutely no one will be watching apart from fans of West Brom and Southampton. It’s even a bit early to start drinking on a Monday night but “Big” Sam Allardyce is involved so drinking maybe essential, even if it’s gravy direct from the gravy boat.

Every time Big Sam gets sacked / found out, I kind of think that that’s the last we’ll see of him in terms of playing against one of his teams but here we are again, as West Brom pressed the Allardyce button, not long after they had lost to us at St Mary’s.  Under Slaven Bilic, West Brom were only going one way and that was down and Sam was brought in to do his usual rescue act. So far, he has had moderate success. Initially, they picked up the odd result against good sides by parking the bus but as soon as they tried to be remotely expansive in home games, they got absolutely battered. Since about Christmas they have tightened up and are no longer heading for a world record goals conceded total (checks Saints goals conceded column) but as I speak, they are still 10 points adrift of the safety line, so Big Sam’s record of never being relegated is under serious threat.

West Brom showed signs of life in the last game when they achieved a quite ridiculous 5-2 away win Chelsea. They were helped by Thiago Silva getting sent off after about 20 minutes but you still have to do the job and they did, tearing Chelsea a new one. The player who caused the vast majority of the damage was Mateus Pareira, who has much more ability than warrants being in the Championship next season. Other notable players are Sam Johnstone in goal, who has just been called up to the England squad and the big lad upfront, Diagne who is, as you would expect, pivotal to the way that Big Sam likes to play.

Saints only appear to have one issue going into this game and that’s the fitness of Kyle Walker-Peters. If there’s any doubt with KWP then personally, I wouldn’t play him. The reason for that of course is that with last weeks’ win against Burnley, we are virtually safe, especially with Fulham losing again on Saturday in a game which saw Mario Lemina crying as they conceded in the last minute. Mario’s sole aim will be for everyone to think that he is some sort of hero in that he really cares about Fulham, which of course fucking doesn’t. It worked though because three hours later, The Athletic had an article praising his commitment when we all know that Mario’s commitment is to himself and his brand. So, 10 points from the drop zone and with an FA Cup semi-final against Leicester next week, I’d leave KWP out if he’s not 100% fit. Just play the reserve right back… Oh yeah, we don’t have one.

Away we go and quite frankly, we look absolute gash.  KWP might be fit to start but he’s all over the place and with no help coming in from Walcott in front of him, The Baggies are all over us.  We conceded an early freekick as Bednarek steams into the back of Diagne.  We do our usual static high line which Big Sam has obviously seen and West Brom play it down the side for Phillips who cuts in unopposed and drills it at Fraser who pushes it out.  Back it comes from Parreira and Diagne is completely unmarked and heads in.  Great start boys for fuck sake – oh hang on – offside flag up.  Off we go to the Twats at Stockley Park and it looks onside.  Vestergaard’s back leg is playing him on though Diagne’s arm is the furthest point forward so who fucking knows?  There is only one view shown on TV and somehow we get away with it, probably because there’s another West Brom player in the mix.  Offside.  Bullshit in my book.

When we start competing for the ball and actually start trying to play, we don’t look too bad.  KWP picks up a Vestergaard ping in the far corner, mugs off the full back and cuts in before panicking and drilling it near post for Johnstone to block.  A minute later, Redmond hits the deck and appeals for a penalty as Ings dances himself some room and curls a shot wide.  There’s another half chance as Redmond breaks on the right and finds Armstrong who skews a shot wide but Ings keeps it in and plays it across goal to no one.

After that flurry, we revert back to being shite.  Every time West Brom advance they do the old hot knife through butter thing.  Our right side is a disaster and the centre is wide open with JWP and Diallo merely being vaguely present.  West Brom piss through the middle with Parreira easily being allowed to find Diagne and it’s a sitter, which he puts miles high and wide.  A dreadful miss which will have had Big Sam choking on his burger with gravy - lots of gravy.

A decent effort follows from Armstrong as Walcott takes a break from contributing nothing to break forward and find him infield but Johnstone reads the shot and claws it away with one for the cameras.  They look so ropey when we attack with any purpose but not as ropey as we do when they attack and guess what happened next?

Fraser clears a ball off the deck to half way and O’Shea wins a free header.  Forward it goes to Diagne who wins a free header and knocks it to Maitland-Niles who is unmarked.  He rolls it to Parreira who is also unmarked and right in front of goal and Fraser comes out and trashes him.  No VAR bullshit is getting us out of that one – down the middle it goes, 1-0.

Fraser Decides It's Time Someone Actually Got Close to a Player.  Misjudges It.

Saints work hard in possession to try and get back into the game for about a minute and then Danny Ings gets involved, turns back towards our own goal on the right and plays the ball straight to Diagne.  He’s off and curls a beautiful ball across the goal and there’s Phillips at the back post who has come in off the right and he bundles it high into the net at the back post.  Fucks sake. Taxi for Bertrand to get him back – that’s your man who just scored.

The rest of the first half is shit as we settle for only being 2-0 down at half time.  We achieve that which feels to me like a bit of a result.  No one wants to do the basics like running and pressing and passing the ball to a team mate quickly, not to mention the old ‘mark the opposition players’ thing.  The only question should be, how many of these useless arseholes get subbed at half time?  Two? Maybe three?

None is the answer as the same 11 come out.  West Brom have clearly decide to try and hold their advantage and not give us anything so of course, we have a bit more possession.  We do draw the Baggies out and attack on the break but KWP takes too long and chooses the wrong option and the promising break ends with Armstrong drilling a 30 yarder with his wrong foot, straight at Johnstone.

With the Baggies now playing on the break, we then concede the shittiest goal since the last one as Johnstone boots it downfield, it’s headed down by Bednarek, one pass and Robinson is clean through with Vestergaard isolated and on the turn, bang, 3-0, absolute shit.

There are 20 minutes left and we still haven’t made any subs.  West Brom have made two and they’re 3-0 up.  Finally there’s movement on the bench after 76 minutes of unadulterated shite and it’s a predictable one with Adams coming on for Walcott.    Adams at least makes a bit of an impression as Redmond puts him away on the right-hand side it cuts into the area and drills a cross-shot and it flashes just wide of the far post. That’s our best effort on goal to be honest. 

87 minutes and it’s time for some game changing subs with Tella and Djenepo coming on for Ings and KWP.  Djenepo is at right back but he doesn’t care and he lines up Townshend who trashes him with a very tired looking challenge and it’s a clear penalty.  It’s that kind of day though as up steps JWP and he goes for his usual corner with the usual whip and Johnstone gets across well to save.  He moved a fucking mile but they can’t be bothered to look at it, which is good because it means that the end comes quicker.

Absolute dogshit.

I feel that it’s going to be pretty hard to express in words how absolutely fucking dreadful that was. I mean, it had no redeeming features whatsoever. Did we put in effort? no. Were we unlucky? no. Did the score flatter West Brom? no. Do we have an injury crisis? No. Did a bunch of decisions go against us? No.

Let’s start with Ralph. Ralph picked the team that he thought was his best side and in all likelihood was going to be the team that started the FA Cup semi-final next week.  Today, that team was fucking dreadful from the first minute. You could certainly tell from the opening five that we were going to lose and it didn’t get any better and yet it took until the 75th minute for Ralph to try and change anything significant.  It’s not like he has no options on the bench any more. Allardyce actually made his subs first and they were 3-0 up for fuck sake. When the subs did came, it was just the usual suspects and we learned nothing.  For me, there was a massive problem today, same as in the first half against Burnley, with the Diallo and JWP midfield pairing. The two of them just do not defend and the centre backs are then exposed because the gaps between the lines are too big.  In short, in modern parlance, Romeu is a 6, Hojbjerg was a 6, JWP and Diallo are both 8s.  Last season and for most of this, a combination of a 6 and an 8 in central midfield has worked pretty well for us.  This combination just doesn’t work at the moment.  They both try and push forward, we lose the ball, then there are huge gaps and the slow central defenders are exposed.  Diallo has not been the same player since his injury but it’s this version of Diallo that we have at the moment.  Also, because they are not getting much protection from in front of them, the defence tends to naturally drift back towards our own goal, making the problem worse.

This was the ideal game to bring on Alex Jankewitz at half-time for Diallo because the game was already going south and he couldn’t possibly have been any worse (as long as he stayed on the pitch). We might have actually found out if there was a genuine option for central midfield there but as it was, we learned nothing.  “We lose or we learn” – apparently.

Is there a possibility that teams have totally sussed out how we’re going to play because there is never any variation in it? Same formation, same style of play and if it doesn’t work then it doesn’t work.  Remember, the comeback against Burnley was an anomaly – when we go behind we usually have nothing in reply. If you look at West Brom‘s last two games, they played five at the back against Chelsea and though they were admittedly helped by the early red card, they won the game. Against us, they decided to set up differently and they won the game – we clearly weren’t sure how they were going to play at the start whereas they knew everything about us. We go in to every game with the same formation and the same way of playing. I’ve no doubt that there were minor tweaks made along the way in the game today but today needed more than minor tweaks. We were getting fucking hammered, even before they scored, so moving someone 5 yards this way or 5 yards that way at half time really wasn’t going to make any difference. Like against Burnley, the front six players were completely lightweight. Admittedly we don’t have a lot of options but we got away with it against Burnley but we didn’t get away with it today because West Brom stayed on it for the entire 90 minutes.

Look around the team – so may players were awful.  KWP played like a fish up a tree and defensively was horrific for the first half at least. Ryan Bertrand has turned into the player most likely to bottle out of any challenge.  Bednarek has been shot since the Man United 9-0.  Going forward - we were pathetic, either choosing the wrong option, being too slow to play the pass and basically not being committed enough to score a goal. No one was really busting a gut to score and that’s what pissed me off the most. It was like the Brighton home game where we showed absolutely no urgency to score a goal when behind.  Redmond was favourite for a goal after a rebound, but the defender wanted it more and guess who got the ball?  Ings just kept on trying to work a position rather than shoot and Walcott… bloody hell.  Che Adams has been dropped when playing well and because Redmond had a good game against Bournemouth and a half decent one against Burnley, Adams is still on the bench.  I’d maybe excuse Armstrong, Forster and Vestergaard today but the rest of the starting XI were dreadful.

We got incredibly lucky to get away with a VAR decision after about three minutes which we apparently got away with because they didn’t have a camera at the right angle or some such complete bollocks. Even if they had had a camera, Diagne’s his arm may well have been beyond Vestergaard‘s foot so it may well have been disallowed anyway but it looked perfectly okay and it’s the sort of goal that should stand. The penalty we gave away was an absolute clusterfuck - Fraser kicked it, two free headers and an unmarked player in the box and Fraser carts him over. The second goal goes down as an assist for Danny Ings but our scramble defence once we gave the ball away was non-existent with Bertand not matching the run of man Phillips who scored the goal. The third goal came because we had nothing in the centre of midfield and West Brom were allowed to stroll through and set up Robinson for an easy finish.

The players clearly had one eye on next week and to be honest, if it was down to me, there would be a few not playing next week, namely Redmond and Walcott. Diallo and Bertrand would also be under threat if we had any other option. Adams (missed by a whisker) and Djenepo (won a penalty) did more in their cameos today than either Redmond or Walcott managed.

The ironic thing is that all will be forgiven if we manage to win next week but I would say that the chances of that happening are very slim. Leicester are not in great form themselves but their form is considerably better than ours and as we are certain to go into it with virtually the same team as we had tonight, we are going to get absolutely smashed in midfield and we could well end up just hoping to keep the score down. It was absolutely pathetic today and it’s the sort of performance that makes you feel that way.

West Brom are incredibly unlikely to stay up. They probably know that but it didn’t stop them playing with a spirit and urgency that was far too much for our gutless wankers today. They totally deserved to win and if they kept their foot on the gas throughout the second half they probably would’ve won by more. Fair play to them and fair play to Big Sam. I bet he’s chowing down on an extra-large gravy boat full of the good stuff as we speak.

Next week it’s the FA Cup semi-final against Leicester at Wembley and won’t that be fun. Up the fucking Saints.