Sunday, April 6, 2014

Premier League Match 33 - Manchester City 4 Southampton 1


Textbook Defensive Line.  Well played Linesman you blind fucker.

Manchester City away is not a very appetizing fixture when you look at their list of results at home this season. Five, Six, Five, Six etc.  There is something about Saints this season though that gives you a bit of optimism that teams don’t like playing against us and we might get something from the game.  In truth though, this game is a free hit and anything we get is a massive surprise and a bonus.  City dispensed of Mancini in the summer when he finally went insane and appointed Manuel Pellegrini who has made them mush more open and free flowing.  They are the favourites to win the league and have done this without Sergio Aguero who has been injured for the best part of 4 months.  It’s a bit like expecting Liverpool to still be up there without Suarez or Chelsea without Torres… sorry, couldn’t do that last one with a straight face.

We’re on the lunchtime shift for BT Sport and the build up for the game is provided by a panel of 3 ex-pros who are David James (ex-City…. and an ex-Skate), Owen Hargreaves (ex-City) and Steve McManaman (ex-Saints… only kidding, ex-City).  Totally impartial analysis coming our way then.   In addition to that we have commentary from Ian Darke who is a Skate.

The team news is in and….. oh fuck, King Artur is out and Gazza is in goal. Jesus Christ.  We’re playing the most free-scoring team in the country, away from home and we have a League 1 standard keeper in goal.  Elsewhere the team is bolstered with Morgan returning in place of JWP and there is a place on the bench for Big Vic but Gaston is injured and not available.

Away we go and we go bombing forward like we usually do and lose the ball.  Suddenly City are away down our right in the big space where Chambers should be and Dzeko is cutting into the box.  Jose Fonte blocks him off but when Dzeko tries to beat him, Jose inexplicably lifts his leg up to waist level and Dzeko runs into it, dives on the floor and the ref buys it and gives it.  There are many ways to look at this… the first and most glaringly obvious thing is that Jose was fucking ridiculous in sticking his leg up like that as it was just asking for it.  Michael Owen who of course, famously dived over Mauricio Pochettino’s outstretched leg for England in 2002, says on the commentary that as Fonte has left a leg there, Dzeko is entitled to fall over it.  Utter bollocks.  There is a rule covers this and it’s called ‘obstruction’.  If you put something in the way and a player can’t get past then it’s obstruction, not a fucking foul.  I can understand why the ref gave it and it’s a fine line between obstruction and a foul but I can’t understand anyone saying that Dzeko didn’t dive because he fucking did.  He ran through the leg Jose left dangling out, took a step and then threw himself.  So, 2 minutes in and a penalty, Yaya against Gazza and 1-0 to City as easy as you like.

Saints start to play and we’re working the ball up to the front men and looking decent whilst City chase shadows.  J-Rod picks it up on the left and curls in a right footed cross which is a fraction over Sir Rickie’s head as he made a run behind the centre backs.  The big man is once again showing what a good player he is by dropping deep and pinging passes around and he chips a good one over the defence to Lallana and it’s a major surprise when he doesn’t kill it cleanly, even though it was a difficult ball to take and away it runs for a goal kick.  There’s more passing and more decent play and another chipped pass forward and J-Rod leaps high to bring it down and then disaster.  As he’s landed, his face has creased up in pain and something is very obviously wrong with his right knee which bent at a nasty angle as he came down.  It’s one of those ‘look away now’ moments.  Fellow pros know when it’s bad and the fact that there is no one near him when he falls makes everyone know it’s really bad and after a few minutes, he’s off on a stretcher, the rest of the season and a place in the England World Cup Squad probably going up in smoke at the same time.  Shit.

JWP comes on in his place and it looks like Steve Davis has been pushed forward a bit but the rest of the game suddenly seems a lot less important and then something comes along to piss you off again.  City build up down our left and the ball is worked into Toure on the right hand edge of the box and he’s challenged by Dejan and has a good old dive which once again, Chris Foy completely buys and gives them a free kick.  Toure curls it in, Dzeko is totally free at the back post and it takes something really shit for a 6 foot plus striker to hit the bar from that close in with a free header.  I’m surprised he didn’t appeal for a penalty.

Did someone say penalty?  Corky picks up the ball in midfield and just sets off.  He slaloms past a couple of half-arsed challenges and gets into the box before Zabaleta turfs him up in the air.  Lovely.  Zabaleta’s appeal that it was outside the box is laughable and Sir Rickie has the ball.  Bang… Hart goes the right way but he’s got no chance and 1-1.

As the first half ticks on, Morgan dinks the ball over Toure and leaves him on his arse and Fernandinho decides to stop a Saints break by playing basketball and getting booked.  Saints are undoubtedly the better side with City not making much of an impression at all as we go into the added on minutes for the J-Rod injury.  Toure feeds a ball into to Dzeko who flicks it on the Silva who is five yards offside.  He squares it to Nasri who smashes it past Gazza.  No flag.  Oh fuck off, it’s fucking miles off.  I thought Silva was offside from the original pass but it turn out he was level but by the time Dzeko has flicked it, he’s five yards offside and the lino has a clear view.  It’s a fucking scandal and it’s so far offside that the referee should really overrule him.  Needless to say he doesn’t.  Mauricio is going absolutely nuts on the line and who can blame him.  ‘Great passing move’ says Ian Darke, ‘level’ says Michael Owen, ‘wankers’ says I.

So, City have created three chances.  Two from dives and one which was offside and they’ve scored two goals… oh look they’ve scored again as they work it down our right, Chambers gets pulled horribly out of position and Kolarov crosses.  Gazza is about five yards too far forward and comes flying out like a twat and doesn’t get there leaving Dzeko with a free header from 5 yards which even he’s not shit enough to miss.  He nearly misses mind but it slides off his head and goes in off a post.  Half time, 3-1, fuck off.

Half time gives us all the chance to ponder how shit it is.  Again we’ve had the most possession and passed it around better than they have yet we’re 3-1 down thanks to a dive, a horrific mistake by an official and a goalkeeping error.  In addition, our top scorer and hope for the World Cup is on his way to hospital.  It all evens out over the season does it?  Fuck off.

The only change at half time is that Fernandinho has been subbed and replaced with Garcia.  If that’s to stop him getting a second yellow then why bother, with this ref?  The opening action of the second half was positive from Saints and we’d reverted almost to a 4-4-2 with Lallana up with Sir Rickie and Steve Davis on the left.  City were still dangerous though and Toure galloped into the box and fell to ground like a sack of shit again under a Fonte challenge.  Dzeko showed how shit he is on the hour mark by blasting at Gazza who made a decent block but with an open goal to aim at and a keeper on the ground, Dzeko managed to put his shout out for a throw in.

Dzeko went off and Negredo came on and he managed to look even worse but it took until 75 minutes for us to create another chance as Lallana put Sir Rickie through but from a tight angle, he lashed it just wide of the far post.  Big Sam got 10 minutes instead of the usual 1 in place of Davis abd City sent on Jevetic in place of Silval who wasn’t offside this time.

Toure has another run at our defence and gets into the penalty area as the cover comes across so instead of trying to score he has another fucking dive and flops to the floor like the massive wanker that he is.  This time the dive is so horrible that even Chris Foy spots it and books him.  Big Vic comes on for Corky to hopefully give Yaya something to fall over about.

The fourth goal that City were always going to get duly arrives and it’s another horror show from Gazzaniga. Navas fires in an early low cross from the right, Gazza gets caught in three minds and just flops on the ground whilst the ball continues to Jovetic who can practically walk it into an empty net.

The game is done and the only notable incidents were JWP leaving a foot in on Toure who over reacts like the big pussy that he is and Gazza made a couple of good saves to deny Negredo who was clean through and Toure whose bobbler he tipped onto the post.

Full time and time to listen to some even handed analysis from 3 ex-Manchester City players.  In the post match interviews, Pellegrini correctly points out that Saints had no shots on target aside from the penalty and Mauricio goes nuts about the 2nd goal which changed the game.  I would say that if the 2nd doesn’t go in then the 3rd doesn’t either and we reach half time at 1-1 and all to play for.  Mauricio was so angry that he spoke in English whilst the interpreter just stood there and wondered about his job prospects.  His assertion that the offside goal killed the game was of course, picked up on by the 3 City pundits who slaughtered it.  The fact is though that it’s hard enough to win at these places when you get a fair shake of the stick but when you get shite officials making decisions in the favour of the big boys then it becomes all but impossible.  I knew we were fucked once the 2nd goal went in and the 3rd arriving straight after it just proved it.

However, you can’t blame anyone but ourselves for the fact we have a League 1 standard goalkeeper in goal who is worth 2 goals a game to any opposition.  We have a Number 2 goalkeeper who is hardly ever fit and a No 3 who is not good enough in a million years and the thing with Gazzaniga is that he’s not improving.  He’s flapping around with poor positioning and no idea on crosses in exactly the same way as he was when he arrived nearly two years ago.  After two years of coaching you’d think he’d know where to stand when a cross comes in so either the coaching is poor (which I doubt) or he just hasn’t got what it takes.   He made some decent blocks later in the game but that’s minimum requirement for a keeper.  There are two positions in a team where you can’t have a kid making mistakes and they’re centre back and goalkeeper.  I know he’s 3rd choice so this shouldn’t be an issue but the real problem is the fitness levels of Kelvin Davis.   It is one thing we certainly need to sort out in the summer with a reliable back up for King Artur.

Not far behind Gazza in the liability stakes at the moment is Jose Fonte who has really hit the buffers regarding good form.  We’ve had the backpasses in the last two home games and the stupid penalty he gave away today which was straight out of the Hooiveld book of clumsy defending.  However, Maya Yoshida’s injury leaved Big Jos as the only alternative to Jose at the moment so hopefully Jose can sort himself out.  Calum Chambers had his arse handed to him today by City and defensively he was all over the place.  This is always going to happen occasionally with the full backs with the way we play but today was a particularly tough one for him.

The bottom line is that we went to City and lost and so what really.  As I write, we wait to hear the news on Jay Rodriguez and fingers crossed that he’s just jarred his knee or strained ligaments and he’ll be back soon.  Next up we have Cardiff at home who are all but down following a pathetic home defeat to Crystal Palace today so they will be going for it as they have no other choice.  They have a centre back that I like in Steven Caulker who I think would make an excellent signing for us as he’s only about 23 and already an England international.  It’d be nice to read a rumour about an incoming player, rather than our entire first team being linked with other clubs.  Hopefully Gaston will be fit to take J-Rod’s place against Cardiff but if not, then we need to have some pace up front which may open the door for Sam Gallagher or even Sam McQueen or another academy prospect.

Get well soon Jay.



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