Premier League Match 35 - Aston Villa 0 Southampton 0

Yet another blind linesman....

Aston Villa away and oh look, all the teams down the bottom are winning games and Villa are suddenly in the shit.  It’s too much to hope for that they go down but you never know.  When a team is threatened and are playing a mid-table side with nothing to play for at home, then they usually blitz them and win cos if they don’t then they deserve to go down.  The scenario of them blitzing us would be a bit of a change for Villa as they don’t appear to attack anyone – home and away they just sit back and try and play on the break using Agbonlahor’s pace or cross it from miles out towards Benteke.

Well, Benteke is injured which is good for us, meaning that we have nothing to fear really aside from our sudden inability to score goals post J-Rod’s ACL.  We do owe Villa one though.  That game at SMS when we lost 3-2 was one of the most annoying of the season given our total dominance that day.  Villa’s manager is of course Paul Lambert who speaks less English than Mauricio does, just mumbling bollocks in a Scottish accent.

To the teams and we’ve made a few changes.  The first is that the King is back in goal and Nathaniel Clyne is back at right back.  Also back is Big Vic who replaces Corky in midfield.  This will be the first outing in a while for what I’d call the first choice defensive 6.  Big Vic’s inclusion is massive for me as he defends to ensure we don’t get caught on the break which is all Villa have got.  Gaston is injured again so JWP comes in to the starting XI which Steve Davis shunted to the left.

The first major action is a decent chance to us.  You shouldn’t be surprised that it’s a chance to us as Paul Lambert has lined up Villa in a kind of 8-1-1 formation so we’re dominating possession.  El Ahmadi gets the wrong side of Shaw and Luke is gone down the left and gets to the line before crossing right onto Sir Rickie’s head but he makes a complete bollocks of it and shoulders it straight to Guzan.  A goal there and the Paul Lambert gameplan would have been out of the window after 5 minutes but as it is, then can carry on playing as if they were away to Barcelona in the Nou Camp.

After we ping a few passes about in front of the massed claret and blue shirts, morgan chips a superb ball over the defence to Steve Davis on the left and his cross it met by Sir Rickie and is heading in before Baker gets in a decent block and deflects it for a corner as the big man holds his head in his hands again.

The Paul Lambert Football Genius gameplan is almost executed to perfection but fails when Agbonlahor fastens onto a through ball on the break but his first touch is so bad that any one of the 11 Saints players could have covered across but in the event, Jose Fonte is the man.

We’re playing some really good stuff as usual and working positions to cross the ball but not getting enough players in the box.  A great move eventually finds Shaw and his cross is hammered away for a corner by Baker.  Baker is involved in presenting us with our best chance so far as JWP crosses, it goes over Sir Rickie, hits Baker and plops straight to Steve Davis who has half a goal to aim at as Guzan has covered the cross.  Surprisingly, he doesn’t try and pass it but shoots too close to Guzan who saves it easily.

The final action of the first half is a Vila attack down our left where Bertrand plays a 1-2 round Clyne and crosses.  King Artur comes out and pushes it into Dejan who must have momentarily shat himself as it bounced off him and went for a corner.  Half time and 0-0 and not much to see here.

Mauricio: Mantenga una defensa sólida, no hagas nada estúpido

Interpreter : he says “keep it tight, don't do anything stupid”

Boruc: Jestem znudzony. Mam zamiar zrobić odprawę gówno prosto do odtwarzacza Villa

Interpreter: he says “I’m bored and I’m going to do a shit clearance to a Villa player”

Mauricio: Ha, Ha, el loco.

So, away we go and Clyne knocks a ball back to King Artur who shanks it straight to a Villa player and it ends up with el Ahmadi who makes a bit of room for himself and dribbles an effort along the ground which gives the King time to put his vodka down, change the track playing on his ipod and flop on the ball.  Three Villa fans have a heart attack at the excitement of it all.

It takes us 10 minutes to create a chance and again it’s Shaw and he gets past the last man and squares to Adam Lallana who has to score but he manages to overrun it and clatters into Guzan without first lifting the ball over him.  It’s not a sitter but a player of his ability should really have done better.

Villa then manage to serve up double the exciting moments that they usually produce as Albrighton (who at east looks lively) cuts in and hits a potshot straight at King Artur who casually flips it up and catches it at the second attempt.  I’m sure I lost time after that because the next time I was awake there was only 10 minutes to go and we won and wasted another corner as Shaw again fastened onto a Morgan pass and Vlaar cleared.

For a change we then build up down the right and Clyne is confronted by Bertrand.  He takes him on, gets half a yard and fires it over.  Bertrand dives to block, his arms are out and it hits one of them and goes for a corner.  The wanker is holding his face – he fucking knows.  Everyone fucking knows except the two twats who matter.  The lino is about 6 yards away and it’s his call – how can he fucking miss that.  Mind you, how can that fucking lino at Man City not see that Silva is five yards offside.  If, as they always say, the luck evens out over a season then we are in for about 4 penalties and two offside goals in our favour in the next three weeks – hopefully against Man United.

Villa bring on a player who looks like Grant Holt’s fat lookalike and we bring on Corky for Big Vic who has been impressive.  Nothing much happens, Villa are still settling for the point that they settled for at the start and we bring Harrison Reed on for Lallana with a minute to go as we do the same.  From virtually the last play of the game, Clyne nips in front of Agbonlahor in the box who clips him.  Again, I’ve seen them given but never for us and no one really complains.  To my mind, that would have been worth a really massive massive shout and surrounding the referee as he might have had it in his mind that he should have given the first one.  Full time, Paul Lambert delighted. Tosser.

If I was a Villa fan I’d be looking round Villa Park and thinking that this is one of the best stadiums in the country.  I’d be looking at my club’s history and thinking that we’re one of the biggest clubs in the country, former Champions, former European Champions.  Then I’d be listening to my manager bigging up a point at home against a side with nothing to play for and I’d be thinking how the fuck has it come to this?  Villa were dull as ditchwater and as unambitious as they have been all season.  How can you set up to play that way at home in front of all your season ticket holders who shell out fortunes.  Absolute fucking dirge.  They need to get rid of the manager, regardless of whether they stay up or go down.  

However, I’m not a Villa fan.  Saints were much better than Villa but it was Groundhog day again in that we couldn’t score.  Sir Rickie should have taken the headed opportunity he had in the first five minutes and Steve Davis and Adam Lallana were both guilty later on.  Then of course we have this weeks penalty shout for handball which was another fucking obvious one.  He’s thrown himself in front of the cross, with his arms up and it’s hit his hand – it’s a penalty and if it gets given then we win 1-0 and everyone is happy and this is seen as a good performance.  It joins the ever expanding list of Norwich away, Everton away and Cardiff home on the non-penalty front.

The basic fact that the referee and linesman have done for us is lost on many it seems.  I only hope that players don’t read the negative reactions of a lot of our fans on forums and on Twitter.  To recap - we went away from home with nothing to play for against a team scrapping for their lives and got a point – it would have been three but for a blind lino.  The opposition didn’t have a single shot to cause us any concern at all.  Three years ago we were in League 1 but never mind that – just fucking moan.  It’s a bit like Man United fans teeing off at David Moyes when they’re enduring their first blip for about 20 years.  Try having a memory that is a bit longer term than that of a goldfish.  Yes, we all want to be constantly moving forward but sometimes you have to reflect on how good things have been or how far you’ve come in a short space of time.

The major positive for me today was the return of the first choice defence with the first choice goalkeeper and the best defensive midfielder.  I know Villa were shite but we didn’t even look like conceding a goal and Clyne and Shaw both got forward to good effect.  Shaw in particular had a blinder going forward and whilst some crosses still failed to locate targets, there was enough quality in his first cross to Sir Rickie to have brought a goal.  With just 3 games to go it’s getting more impossible for Shaw to not make the World Cup squad but it was disappointing to see the tired old Match of the Day pundits talking of Ashley Cole’s experience.  He’s had experience of sitting on his arse for the best part of 12 months.  Mourinho is one of the most decorated managers ever and he’s seen something to suggest that Cole (and Lampard for that matter) are gone.  Also, regarding Hansen’s assertion on experience being key; Correct me if I’m wrong but we always go with experience to these tournaments and where does it get us?  We go with the old heads, they’re shit and we underachieve and go home.

In other news, Big Vic was huge in midfield and we’re a better team with him it and that’s the key, the word ‘team’.  This is no reflection on Jack Cork but it’s just a fact.  Can anyone find me the stats for when Vic starts and when he doesn’t.  Mauricio spoke afterwards of a lack of cutting edge but aside from Sir Rickie and Lallana – who is going to score?  Morgan, Steve Davis and JWP have a grand total of about 4 goals this season between them.

Next up are Everton at home who are going for the 4^th Champions League spot.  They’ve been very impressive this season but the old bugbear of loan players looms large with Lukaku and Barry being two of their best performers this year.  Regardless, it’s a hell of a tough game for us and we need to find a way to score in it which sounds obvious… because it is.

Come on You Reds!