Premier League Match 7 - Southampton 3 Swansea 1

'Bollocks", says Garry

Swansea at home and a visit from the club we are most frequently compared to when the preview shows on Sky Sports are talking about the ‘also rans’. They have an hour to talk about everyone so after 50 minutes of talking about the big boys and Spurs, Saints and Swansea get a mention.  There is merit in the comparison though as both clubs strike me as clubs who actually think about things and don’t in the main, just throw money at things.  Both accept that the best players are going to leave occasionally and that they have to pick up cheaper players with clever scouting and develop them.  A quick scan on Swansea’s team sees Sigurdsson who was a Spurs reject and Gomis and Ayew who were both in France, relatively under the radar but have been good performers in England (or Wales).  Also, they have Jack Cork as well who they signed from us when he was in the last year of his contract.  He’s done well for them which is pleasing and has kept a regular place in their starting XI which he was failing to do here.  Another interesting comparison with Saints is that when players leave Swansea to go to supposedly better things, they struggle when not part of a well organized, well thought out structure and maybe that’s part of why they were decent in the first place.  That’s you Wilfried Bony.

It’s hard to remember that Garry Monk used to play for Saints as it was about 10 games at the turn of the century.  He left to go and play for the then 4^th tier Swansea and forged a decent playing career and now is making a decent fist of being a manager in a well organized club.  I like the way he carries himself and seems to be a decent guy.  They were the team that we always beat until the last time they visited St.Mary’s when they left with a 1-0 win.  Everyone knows that Shelvey can shoot from 25 yards but we let him anyway and guess what happened.

With so little time between the Fake Dons match and this one, not much has happened but today’s team news told us that Ryan Bertrand had come through it ok and was fit to take over from Matt Targett at left back.  Matt had done ok I feel and let’s face it – he was better than the other option which is Cuco Martina.  Whilst not blessed with pace and at times looking like a boy in a mans world, Targett has in the main been solid.  Mercifully, Cédric was in to complete a first choice back four.  Big Vic was preferred to Oriol Romeu with JWP and Davis making up the rest of the midfield.  Goalscoring heroics for J-Rod and Long in midweek were not enough for them to replace Tadic, Pellè or Mané up front.  Martina had made the bench again which was disappointing, as had Juanmi, I assume at the expense of Gaston Ramirez who really should have been preferred as he contributed more in 20 minutes against the Fake Dons that Juanmi has all season.  There are rumours around town that the police are launching a ‘Find Steven Caulker’ appeal.  Maybe I should look through all the pictures that the official website publishes of the training sessions to see if he’s been turning up for those.

One of the things I look for now when the game kicks off is the opposition goalkeeper and how quickly he gets on with the game when he gets a first goal kick to take. Fabianski gets one to take more or less straight away as Mané gets a curler all wrong and it flies into the crowd.  Oh look, the bastard is timewasting already and getting the hurry up from the ref in the 2^nd minute.

Swansea have the first real attempt on goal as we prove we haven’t learnt the lessons of last year at all as a half-clearance finds Shelvey all on his own on the edge of the box and his shot is parried away by Stekelenburg and Ki can’t get his feet in the right place as the ball pings to him and he balloons it over the bar in a finish that Jack Cork would have been proud of.

Our first real effort on goal comes when Big Vic dispossesses Ayew by basically running over him like a train.  The big man steams up the left wing before feeding it in to Pellè who plays a superb reverse pass to give Mané a shooting chance which he swings at, gets it past the keeper and it bobbles about a foot wide of the post.  Should really have scored.

Tadic, who has again started the game well, wins a corner off of Naughton on the left and JWP steps up to curl it in towards the near post and up goes Virgil van Dijk to beat Gomis in the air and easily flick it past Fabianski for 1-0.  The big man is certainly going to win the fans over very quickly.  It’s my guess that Fabianski will stop time wasting now.

Swansea show signs of life and Shelvey lashes another effort over the bar as we again give him the freedom of the edge of the penalty area.  Ki then tries from similar range and Stekelenburg gets down to his right to shovel it out in none too convincing fashion.  Still, in my book, any save where the ball doesn’t end up in our net is a good save.

Big Vic seems too be targeting Ayew or maybe Ayew dallies on the ball.  Either way he trashes him twice in quick succession and it’s amazing that he doesn’t get booked for the second one which is horribly late.  There isn’t a lot happening to be honest.  Bertrand has settled in well though looks a bit off the pace and José and Virgil are handling Gomis well.  In fact, he’s hardly had a kick.  If Tadic’ form at the start of the game could be likened to a man walking along a cliff edge, he’s just decided to dive off said cliff and plummet to the rocks below.  He passes straight to Swansea players three times and then attempts a chip down the line which skews off his left boot and into the crowd and it’s positively Benaliesque.

The last 15 minutes is dominated by the referee who is shite.  Any challenge that is not 100% clean is a free kick.  He’s not bent, just incompetent though it seems that he’s against us as Saints are putting a lot more effort into closing down than Swansea are so all the free kicks are going against us including a very innocuous one against Big Vic which sees him booked.  Vic is not happy as it was an innocuous challenge but to be fair he should have been booked earlier for his second steamrollering of Ayew.

Half time brings changes for Swansea as we’ve been pretty comfortable.  Gomis is off despite not having received any service and Cork is gone too which must be a bit embarrassing for him.  Jefferson Montero is on to play on the left wing and his battle with Cédric will be interesting.  Also on is a facsimile of Gomis called Eder and hopefully he’s not like the Eder who played for Brazil in the 1982 World Cup.  He isn’t because if he was then the shot he had after a bout of head tennis would have arrowed into the top corner instead of into the top of the Northam End.

Swansea’s changes just seem to have opened the game out for Saints even more as we build up on the left, Pellè tries to scoop the ball over the defender to Mané but it bounces back to him and he then scoops it over another defender to Tadic on the left.  As he gets to the line it looks like he tries to cross it but it flicks off of Ki and loops over Fabianski and in for 2-0.

The game feels like it’s over to be honest and a few minutes later it definitely is as Bertrand gets forward and slides a ball across to Pellè.  His sidefoot effort is going the wrong direction but it hits a defender and bounces back to Mané who fires past Fabianski and into the corner.  Get in lads…

Romeu comes on for Davis who has been excellent and we keep coming forward with Pellè being cynically bodychecked by Fernandez who gets a deserved card.  It gives us a chance to see a Virgil free kick even though it’s exactly where you would think that JWP would want to take one from and he beats the wall only for Fabianski to hold on at the second attempt.  Virgil is in the news again when he brings the ball out of defence only for Shelvey to launch a scissor tackle from behind him to bring him down.  To me, this is a red card tackle as there’s no attempt to do anything other than recklessly bring down the player but it’s only a yellow.

We take a collective step back and allow Swansea lots of possession which they don’t do much with until the 85^th minute when Taylor bursts into the box and José lunges in horribly, missing the ball and taking out Taylor as he slid past.  No complaints at all as Sigurdsson hammers it down the middle to make it 3-1.  We continue sitting back for the rest of the game and allow Swansea to ping the ball about but there’s not a lot on the end of it and time ticks down on a comfortable win with one last attack from us with Graziano showing wonderful chest control to bring down a punt forward, play a 1-2 with Juanmi and lash the return pass into the crowd.

Overall, that was a pretty easy, despite us packing up and going home for the last 20 minutes. When Steve Davis, who was quite possibly our best player, went off and Romeu came on, he and Big Vic seemed to get deeper and deeper like they did in the Manchester United game. All it does is invite the other team to have control. Until that point though, I was amazed at how ineffective Swansea were. I couldn't believe how bad Gomis was and when they hooked him at half time they replaced him with someone who was even worse. Jack Cork also departed at half time having done absolutely nothing in the first half. Jonjo Shelvey has done well for England recently but all he contributed today was some wayward shooting and a nasty cynical tackle on Virgil van Dijk. Sigurdsson and Ayew at least tried to make things happen but Swansea, despite all their possession were all fart and no shit.

Like I said earlier, I thought Steve Davis was excellent but the highlight for me was how well Cédric played defensively. In the second half he was up against Jefferson Montero who was the winger who tore Calum Chambers a new arsehole when Arsenal played Swansea last year. Chambers eventually got sent off. I think Montero managed one Cross today which was in the 90th minute. The back four looked really good today with Virgil improving massively on the United game and of course we had Ryan Bertrand back. He understandably looked a bit rusty but he got through it well and will only get better from here on in. Tadic got his goal which had a touch of fortune about it but from about the 15th minute until he got substituted, he had a bit of a shocker giving the ball away constantly. Graziano knitted everything together today without looking like scoring and it was good for Sadio Mané to keep his goal streak going even though he was not at his absolute best today.

I like the fact that after a relatively comfortable 3-1 win, Ronald was not happy with how well we played as it shows he’s not going to let the lads piss about and drop off for the last half an hour of games.  If we drop off in the last half hour of our next match (Chelsea away) then you can be sure that we’re coming back with nothing but a defeat.  I always see games like Chelsea away as a free hit but at the moment, with them being a bit dodgy, we should be looking at nicking something and sending the personality disorder that is Mourinho into some sort of meltdown.  Last year up there we left Graziano out and played Shane Long and Sadio up front to give John Terry nightmares but with Terry out of the side and his replacement Zouma looking suspect in the air, Ronald has a decision to make regarding the make up of the attack.  Bring it on.

Capital One Cup 3rd Round - MK Dons 0 Southampton 6

Who the Hell is This?

A chance to get over the United game with a trip back in time to the abysmally named stadium:MK for a Capitol Carling Milk League Cup game against Franchise FC., or the Fake Dons if you prefer.  These days they are in the Championship and not doing very well in it.  When we exited Europe on that great night in Denmark, a few comments were made about how the club could now have a better go at doing well in the League Cup and tonight will tell us how serious that statement was.  There is no way however that we’re going to play everyone from the usual league starting XI.

On Monday the Under 21’s played and won against Reading to go top of their league but more significantly, Ryan Bertrand played 45 minutes.  More good news is that Jordy Clasie is back in training but the Franchise game has come too quick for him.  Who could blame him if he didn’t fancy coming here. 

Graziano clearly didn’t fancy it either with a slight foot injury keeping him out but the starting XI contained Long, J-Rod and Mané in his absence.  Juanmi was also in the side, basically giving us 4 forwards which has a worrying echo of the Everton home game.  Steve Davis is back to partner Romeu in midfield and the keeper and back 4 is what should have started on Sunday with Cédric coming in for the Japanese Back Pass King.  All that lot suggests to me that we’re taking it fairly seriously.  There is no sign of Cuco Martina after his clown show on Sunday (or maybe he’s being rested!) and Stephen Caulker seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth.  Maybe Ronald’s decided that there is a reason he’s been relegated two years running.

Karl Robinson is manager of the Franchise and back in the day when he was assistant manager, he was a bit of a gobshite.  It seems that he’s still got tendencies to be similar with a pre-match declaration that he ‘didn’t care’ about this game with a league game coming up on Saturday.  I’m guessing that the Franchise hardcore fans (if such a thing exists) who are turning up tonight might not like that statement too much and you wonder how motivational that’ll be for their players.

A quick search reveals there is no live stream for this game on the internet so I’m going back to League 1 and listening to the radio.  It’s comforting to know that in an ever changing world, you can still tune the dial to 96.1 and catch Merringtitus.

A potentially tricky game gets underway and we’re all over them and they don’t seem to be playing with any urgency at all.  It takes all of 5 minutes for the first goal to arrive as J-Rood picks up the ball on the left near the halfway line and sets off.  He’s past the midfield and dummying the centre back who over commits before opening himself out and sidefooting it past the keeper and inside the far post.  Great goal but he’s basically walked through.

Franchise kick off and immediately lose the ball and Long is put away down the right.  His cross finds Cédric who arrives in exactly the way that an out of position centre back wouldn’t have done and then ruins it by smashing over the bar.  It’s just so easy and Romeu takes aim from 30 yards and skims a shot just over the bar.  The resistance, if you can call it that lasts until the 9^th minute as Franchise try to play out from the back and pass it straight to Sadio Mané about 30 yards out.  He simply runs past the defence including the player responsible for the shite pass, draws the keeper and flips it over him for 2-0.

The expected Franchise fightback doesn’t really happen but Diego Poyet, son of our old nemesis Gus, at least produces a decent pass to Baker who has a shot which Stekelenburg picks up.  We get a bit sloppy for a minute as Cédric tries to cushion a header back to the keeper but it slides off his head for a corner and we all have a flap and an airshot at the ball when the corner comes over but get away with it.

If the game isn’t won already, it is on 25 minutes as Long again gets free on the left and centres to Mané who is on the penalty spot.  He easily beats the last defender by feigning to shoot before contemptuously putting it past the keeper for 3-0.  Their defence is absolute shit.

Mané is absolutely running riot and plays a neat 1-2 with Shane before teeing up Juanmi but the Spaniard’s shot is straight at the keeper and he fumbles it over the bar in none too convincing fashion.  The next attack is classic Steve Davis as he tenaciously wins the ball in midfield and sets off leaving midfielders in his wake.  He gets to the edge of the box and opens himself out like J-Rod and that’s where the comparison ends.  It’s almost like the ball has turned into one of those Frido plastic balls you used to win at a fairground as it flies off his foot at a ridiculous angle and endangers a ballboy.

J-Rod is continuing his shoot-on-sight policy and smashes one just wide from 30 yards before The Fakes make a substitution which is always amusing as the substituted player, who has come off because he’s been shite, doesn’t know whether to limp off to save face or not.  There’s another highlight for the Franchise with 5 to go until half time when Stekelenburg touched the ball.

With us playing in green and pissing all over the opposition, it must be a bit like playing for Celtic for Virgil Van Dijk and we get treated to the first mazy out of defence as he runs miles with the ball before teeing up J-Rod whose shot is blocked.

After half time, I guess that there is the possibility of the Fakes getting an early goal back and then the Ghost of Tranmere emerging but it’s unlikely and it’s impossible because the first action of the second half is for Shane Long to try and get on the end of a Cédric cross and McFadzean to lean on him like a falling tree and the ref points to the spot.  The sentimental thing to do would be to let Sadio complete his hat-trick but when you’ve sent 16 months out injured and you’re a striker, you want to take it so up steps J-Rod and buries it down the middle as the keeper dives. 4-0.

Sub time as we approach the hour mark and Ryan Bertrand makes a welcome return in place of Targett.  The stoppage to allow the sub is another clumsy McFadzean foul and up steps Virgil and curls the free kick from quite a way out and it skims the bar and over, which is what the keeper was obviously betting on as he stood flat footed and watched it.

Bloody hell it’s Gaston Ramirez in a Saints shirt.  On comes the enigma to replace Sadio Mané and immediately gets on the ball to try and make things happen… and he does.  Picking up the ball on the right hand side and putting a superb pass over the top to send Juanmi away.  Juanmi is clear with Long and J-Rod in the middle and he attempts to roll it into J-Rod’s path but cocks it up but we get lucky when a defender tries to hack it away and succeeds in blasting it straight at Shane and it flies into the net off his chest.

Franchise have sent on the mascot and he looks familiar to a mascot who won a competition to come on as a sub for Saints a few years back.  Oh yes it’s Ben Reeves who has just enough time to look around before Steve Davis puts Shane through again in the inside right channel and he rifles it first time past the keeper again for 6-0.

Maya Yoshida is on for Virgil who come off because he was bored shitless and the rest of the game focussed on Gaston and his contribution.  Whatever way you look at it, he’d be a better option off the bench than Juanmi who looks like he’d benefit from a few months playing 90 minutes for the Under 21s.  Nicky Maynard is on for the Fakes and I remember him being a thorn in our side in League 1 and Championship days but all he manages today is a dive.  The home fans have emptied out of the ground long before the final whistle – in fact they’d gone about 95 minutes before the final whistle.  Nice stadium, shit club, shit team.  Bye.

Well that was a piece of piss.  We were good but the Franchise Fake Dons were shockingly bad which is what you’d expect when you’re average anyway and your manager doesn’t give a toss.  It was an absolute stroll from the moment J-Rod started his run for the first goal.   There were decent performances all round with the goalscorers leading the way, ably backed up by Romeu and Davis in particular and even Gaston looked good when he came on.  Mind you, performing when 4-0 against a Championship team whose manager doesn’t give a shit is not hard.  It was too hard for Juanmi however who failed his chance to prove that he is going to have what it takes.  Early days I guess but he wasn’t great.

Onwards and after Liverpool had finished scraping by League 2 Carlisle at Anfield on penalties (including a miss by Nivea Boy), the draw for the next round was made and we got Villa at home and a chance to bring forward Captain Bellend Tim Sherwood’s nervous breakdown which he will no doubt have – it’s just a case of when.  That’s for another day though – next up is Swansea at home in the league and we rather need a win and Ronald rather needs to pick the right side and today just might have changed his thinking in some areas. 

Premier League Match 6 - Southampton 2 Manchester United 3

If Only He'd Saved his Move to Madrid.

Man United at home. Let’s do this.

I’m optimistic about this one as we were decent in our last home game and United look bang average this season.  They’ve won a couple of games in uninspiring fashion but really don’t look that great.  Squirrel head has not scored yet this season and any defence with Smalling in it is not going to be watertight.  Luke Shaw of course will not be playing today as he had his leg broken by a pretty poor tackle in United’s defeat at PSV in the Champions League in the week which was a real shame.  Luke is one who left in the correct manner in that he didn’t throw his toys out, mouth off in any way or do a fucking Nivea advert and after all, he was going to be first choice at the biggest club in the country.  The fact that there were mutual appreciation messages exchanged on Twitter between Luke and the club in the aftermath of the injury shows the level of respect there. 

It’s been a quiet week at St.Mary’s with not a lot happening.  There was talk of a new contract for Ronald but the manager has indicated that nothing has been spoken about as yet.  In the aftermath of him being named England U21’s skipper, JWP was media linked with Manchester City and Chelsea – I’ll just leave that one out there.  We’re not expecting Bertrand or Clasie to be available any time imminently and so it proves as our team shows Romeu in for Davis, Mané in for J-Rod and Yoshida in for Cédric…what?!?  With this selection, Ronald is indicating that a) he doesn’t think Cédric is good enough to play against the big clubs b) he thinks Maya will handle Depay well c) he thinks Martina is shite.  He’s also continuing his policy of throwing in one strange selection per week.  Those drugs they gave him in the Dutch hospital when he had his achilles operated on must have been pretty strong.

United… oh yeah, Morgan Schneiderlin…sigh!  I wish he was still playing for us but we’ll manage.  I was kind of hoping he’d be on the bench but no, He’s starting alongside Michael Carrick which will at least keep him busy doing all of Carrick’s running. Oh look they’ve got the World Cup winning captain Schweinsteiger is on the bench.  Martial is starting, so is Rooney, so is Depay…. Juan Mata… still a very good selection of players but then you have the defence who you have to get at.  Damian is new to the league, Blind is not really a centre back, Rojo is very very average and though Smalling is improving, that really isn’t saying much.  De Gea is in goal after his non-transfer to Real Madrid, which is a shame as he’s genuinely world class, unlike Romero who was pretty shite.

We start pretty well with Big Vic and Romeu anchoring the midfield strongly and Saints pressing all over the pitch.  It’s basically a 4-4-2 formation with Sadio behind Graziano up front but the Mané has obviously been told to put Carrickunder pressure and he catches him in possession twice in the opening 10 minutes.  We create the first chance on 10 minutes as Pellè played a crossfield ball to Mané who picked out Tadic on the edge of the box but it ended up on his right foot and there was a distinct lack of surprise when he shanked it wide.

It is however, a prelude to us taking the lead as JWP fires the cross in on the run where it’s met first time by Mané steaming in.  Mané is totally unimpeded by Carrick who is not steaming back with him but de Gea pulls off a worldie to push it out.  In the time it took all the United defenders to stand still and think ‘oh look, there’s a rebound’, Graziano reacted and knocked it into the net and lets go mental.  Great start and a deserved lead.

United look shite and it’s nearly 2-0 as Romeu plays a straight ball to Graziano who is second favourite but he bustles past Blind who seems to be wearing concrete boots and carrying a caravan on his back, before curling a right footed shot around de Gea but it smacks off the post and bounces away.  Shit.

A cross into the box from the right from Pellè is inviting for the players running in and JWP hits the deck off the ball in the presence of Rojo.  There’s ahalf arsed appeal for a penalty but no one is too convincing and Twattenburg is never going to give that and predictably, he doesn’t.

It seems to bring a change in the proceedings as United start passing and we basically, watch them do it.  When we get the ball, there’s usually a foul and usually by Schneiderlin but despite being spoken to for the second foul, he’s allowed a couple more by the lenient Twattenburg.

Another United passing move with us sitting off starts but the danger looks over as JWP gets the ball but then he just mindlessly hoofs it against Rojo but it bounces back to a United player and they build up again.  The ball is eventually played through to Mata who is offside and he feeds Martial who feigns to shoot, leaves Virgil on his arse and then calmly slots it past Stekelenburg with United’s first shot on target.  It’s my first expletive of the season in the Family Stand.

The final 10 minutes of the first half are poor from us and I’m please to go in at 1-1 though seething about the way we’ve switched off for the last 20 minutes or so.  Hopefully half time will see things back to how they started.

During half time, Matt Targett has gone home for his tea so we’re immediately wasting a substitution and Martina is coming on at left back which basically eliminates any attacking play from either full back.  United pulled a like for like change with Darmian being replaced with Valencia.

We haven’t made any attacking inroads but haven’t particularly looked stretched at the back either when Maya casually turns the ball towards Stekelenburg but it’s complete shite and goes straight to Martial who is never going to miss.  He rolls it into the corner for 2-1 and that’s a fucking nightmare.  For Fonte and van Persie last year, read Yoshida and Martial this year.  A day after the Japanese rugby team beat South Africa, our Japanese has royally ballsed it.  Cédric – our dodgy right back who can’t defend – must have been pissing himself laughing at least a bit.  It’s pointless and useless and a stupid bastard thing to do to knock it across the box in the general direction of the keeper.  There is no defence – it’s just shite.  As I say to my son’s Under 12 team – you are a defender first and foremost and if in doubt, they can’t score if the ball is miles away from the pitch.

Goals given away like that are always a complete kick in the balls that take some recovering from but we nearly do relatively quickly as Tadic swings in a corner from the right and José meets it.  It’s behind de Gea and heading in but the bastard arches back and keeps it out.  Real Madrid’s fax machine has a lot to answer for.

The next United sub sees the perennially shit Carrick being replaced by Germany’s World Cup Winning Captain.  Great.  We’ve brought on Curucao’s right back and played him on the left.

United start another move and we back right off, pass, pass, pass for what seems like about 5 minutes.  We’re not even getting close to putting in a tackle, let alone actually winning the ball.  On it goes, pass, pass, pass until eventually a shot from Depay which pings off the post and rebounds straight to Mata who is unmarked and he just smashes it in the net.  Mata has no pace but he’s managed to lose Martina who is supposed to be marking him but you can’t just blame Martina for this – it’s a horrific team goal.  When the other team plays keep ball for ages, you get in their faces, you go and kick one of them to break it up.  You don’t just bloody lie down and wait for them to fucking score but that’s what we did.  Wankers.

Ronald’s response is to send Steve Davis on for Romeu.  I can see the logic in it but we’re 3-1 down and with the best will in the world, Steve Davis isn’t going to pull two goals out of his locker.  The remaining substitution has to be a forward and it’s just a question of which one and Shane Long is the man, replacing JWP who hen he went off, was noticed by many in the crowd for the first time since the first United goal.

With four minutes left of the 90, in front of about 5000 less Saints fans who were there at the start, football breaks out and we fly down the right and Mané fires over a cross, right onto the unmarked Big Beautiful Italian’s head, bang, 3-2, pick that out, game on!  Cue people trying to get back to their seats – no, fuck off.

It’s completely turned now as we are putting in some effort.  Big Vic has come to life and we’re all over them.  Shane Long and Steve Davis have made a huge difference in the energy levels and we’re suddenly 15 yards further up the pitch.  Big Vic picks up the ball and jinks towards the edge of the box and I’m expecting the usual scuffer or hoof into the crowd but he hits a superb left footer which is arrowing towards the top corner only for de Gea to take off and turn it over the bar.  I hate him.  We manage another header from José which is cleared but in truth, though I’m sure of their fans wouldn’t see it this way, United saw it out in relative comfort. 

Last year we always seemed to get things conspire against us in terms of player availability for the big games against the big teams.  We had Nemanja Matic and his ridiculous appeal against a 3 match ban which was reduced to 2 so he could play against us.  Also, miraculously we managed to play twice against Daniel Sturridge for Liverpool.  Today, we play United just when de Gea comes back into the team only this time it’s worse as the bastard was brilliant today.  Despite us being absolute shite for the majority of the game, we’d still have got something if they’d had a normal keeper in goal instead of fucking Superman.  To think that we all thought he was shite when he first arrived at United.  Then we have Martial who has hit the ground running in a way that no one even van Gaal could have predicted.  I know he cost a fortune but his record up until now didn’t suggest a goal-a-game striker.  If Rooney had been up front I think this game would have been different.

We basically started this game brilliantly and played really well for 20 to 25 minutes and then we totally fucking packed up and did nothing for the next 60 to 65 minutes aside from concede three fucking goals. Two of the goals we let in were as a result of us standing off and allowing United to pass the fucking ball around under no pressure for a good minute to 2 minutes before they got sight of our goal and scored. The other goal of course that was a complete gift given away by a completely stupid and unnecessary backpass straight to a centre forward. For the first 20 minutes we were all over them like a rash when they had the ball. Sadio Mane in particular was all over Carrick, not giving him the time he needs to be effective and then we seemed to just stop and allow United to get into the game whereas up until that point they had not done anything at all. For the last 10 minutes we showed some urgency again and could've easily snatched a point at the end if it wasn't for United's one genuinely world-class player to bail them out. We put in effort for the first 20, the last 10 and that was it and we still only lost 3-2 which shows you how little we would have to have done to have got a result from this game. Mind you, if you gift the opposition goals like we did then you deserve to win fuck all.

I can't even complain too much about my favourite referee Mark Clattenburg who actually was pretty good apart from failing to book Morgan Schneiderlin for repeated fouls in the first half. There was no danger of him getting booked in the second half as we allowed him to just stroll through the game.

United scored with all three of their three shots on target and it pisses me off. It would piss me off if it was against any opposition but particularly against United. 'Efficient' is no doubt what Van Gaal would say, 'fortunate' would be what others would say. Typical that Martial started against us - he'll save their season as like the England national side, they would be much better off without that little fat rug headed bastard upfront.  Van Gall said afterwards that they are potential champions – well that’s bollocks.

Ronald Koeman seems to like throwing in at least one nonsensical selection per match. This time of course it was the selection of Yoshida at right back ahead of Cedric. Well, if Cedric is thought of as being a dodgy defender, I haven't seen him gift the opposition a goal with a shit backpass as yet so maybe it's time to rethink that one a little bit. After all, we'd kept three clean sheets in a row with Cedric in the team and you never know, he may have popped up with a cross or two when we needed it. But instead we had a joke combination of fullbacks in an attacking sense with Yoshida reluctant to go over halfway and Martina just being utter shit, doubly so because he has no left foot. It’s not Martina’s fault he was on the pitch though.  Like in the Everton game, Matt Targett looked like a boy in a mans world and unlike the Everton game when he was almost forced back onto the pitch after a knock, he was subbed today. Virgil van Dijk had a mixed match, Looking good for most of the first half but tiring towards the end of the second, culminating in the cramp issue. You can't have a mid-match rest in the English Premier League I guess, like you can when you're playing for Celtic in Scotland. One thing I did notice though was that he is not very good in the air, not winning a clear header all game against Martial who is hardly a giant. Virgil jumps for the ball and seems to turn away from it meaning the ball hits the side of his head and just plops down onto the ground rather than going any distance.  José Fonte was very indifferent as well, attempting a Yoshida backpass as well but he was fortunate in that he jkust about got away with it.

On the wings, JWP and Tadic both started the game well, both putting over some really dangerous crosses before both producing 75 minutes of fuck all. It was really only Pelle and Mane who put in decent 95 minute performances. Big Vic and Romeu were great in the first 20 and Vic came to life in the last 10 but they were a major part of the 60 minutes of backing off and though I was moaning a lot whne he came on as a sub, Steve Davis’ introduction coincided with us getting back on the front foot and playing some football again.

Bollocks.  A defeat and 16^th in the league and below fucking Bournemouth.  Next up we have MK Franchise in the Carling Cup 3^rd Round.  Suddenly, winning that one has become a bit more important.  I guess an indication of how seriously we’re taking it will be if Martina is picked or not n what will doubltless be a mix and match side.  Expect J-Rod, expect Shane Long, expect Caulker, expect Gazzaniga but please not Martina.

Premier League Match 5 - West Brom 0 Southampton 0

 

Spurs are Twats aren't they Saido?

Yes they are Vic

Today we travel to West Brom to play against Sir Rickie Lambert in an away game that we really should think about winning to maintain the feelgood factor we’ve had since the Norwich game.  Like us, West Brom have been in the news since the last round of Premier League matches for telling Spurs and Daniel Levy where to stick their derisory bids for players and sending them away giving them the middle finger salute.  The Baggies were even bigger players than ourselves and in particular Jeremy Peace, their chairman.  By the last day of the window, Daniel Levy could have offered about £100 million for Saido Berahino and he would have been turned down.  Needless to say, Spurs and Levy didn’t offer £100m, they offered about £5m with staged payments for the rest dependent on clauses, most of which were probably dependent on things that were never going to happen.  Berahino very predictably threw his toys out on social media, saying that he’d never play for the Chairman again.  Hmmm, player not getting a move to Spurs after a comically low bid throws his toys out on Twitter.  Sounds familiar doesn’t it?  The only surprise is that the wording in the tweet was different to Morgan Schneiderlin’s effort from last year.  I’d have thought that Levy would give his targets a standard template for ‘toys out’ tweets in the event of his offers being rejected.  Maybe he should –

‘I (insert name) will NEVER play for (insert club) again.  Great memories DESTOYED. #COYS #££££’.

So, 3 players in a year who have chucked the bear out in response to media speculation and low bids and in all cases, Spurs were the club trying to buy.  Strange coincidence that.  Something should be done but will it?  Don’t hold your breath. #wankers.

The case with Big Vic was a little less dramatic than Berahino’s as following his no show against Norwich and having been told that he wasn’t leaving, his mental and physical ailments all cleared up enough for him to travel to Kenya to play for them in an African Nations Cup Qualifier.  With Vic in Africa and therefore highly unlikely to be able to do a medical in London, the media were resurrecting the deal with us being offered players who Spurs didn’t want, one of whom was Lamela.  We’re still paying Gaston Ramirez so why on earth would we went another underperforming South American winger… and then there was the small problem that we already had our quota of domestic loans with Stekelenburg and Caulker from Fulham and QPR respectively.  Matt le Tiss then threw oil on the fire by saying that Spurs bid for Vic was less than what we paid for him which, if true, proves what we knew all along, that Spurs really are a shitty club.  West Ham saw fit to have a dig at their transfer dealings as well and the backlash has started.  I guess that’s why Levy has to sign all his players from abroad now as he’s running out of English clubs who will deal with him and even then, deals such as the Alderweireld one have an element of underhand about them.  I really can’t see Saints dealing with them anytime soon.  Maybe it is an unexpected effect of there being so much money washing about in the game – the smaller clubs don’t feel they ‘have’ to sell. 

On the positive side, we finally completed the signing of Virgil van Dijk from Celtic, for a fee of upwards of £11m.  Of course there is the question of whether he’ll adapt to actually having a competitive game against decent opposition but we’ve done ok with Steve Davis, Fraser Forster and Big Vic recently, so I’m sure our latest foray into the Scottish league will work out just fine.  Virgil is a big unit at 6 feet 4 and is a footballing centre half who is very comfortable on the ball and You Tube is full of clips of him doing ridiculous things like dribbling the ball 80 yards up the pitch, scoring goals with headers, smashing in free kicks and generally taking the piss.  Let’s hope we see some of that as a bonus with standard rock solid defending.

To the internationals and England completed our routine qualification from the easiest qualification group in history with a 6-0 win in San Marino and a 2-0 win at home to Switzerland.  Wayne Rooney managed to break Sir Bobby’s goal record by scoring a penalty in each as the referees took pity on the rest of England having to listen to the continuous wankathon over the record.  The San Marino penalty was one of those where you watch the replay five times and still can’t work out where the foul was and the Swiss one was for a horrendous dive by Raheem Sterling.  Fair play to Rooney though and it’s a great achievement.  He’ll always be a bit difficult to like but 50 goals in 107 games is good at any level.

You can almost do an ex-Saints report on England games now.  Nathaniel Clyne got two starts which he wouldn’t have got had he still been a Saints player and did ok but not as well as Luke Shaw who was outstanding against the Swiss but this kind of got lost in the Rooney hype.  Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain was pretty poor in both games but did set up Ross Barkley’s goal against San Marino whereas Hodgson saw fit to give Theo Walcott just the 20 minutes against San Marino in which he scored twice.  Adam Lallana meanwhile, was in a Nivea advert at half time and looked like a complete and utter bell end.  His PR machine is really working wonders for him.

It’s the usual with England – there were a lot of positives and the possibility of us having a decent side but then you have the shite that drags us down as well as Hodgson’s inbuilt Hodgson-ness.  For example – I hate to say it because he plays for Spurs but Harry Kane looks like he might be a superb player for England and he won us the Swiss game and changed the San Marino game when he came on but then you have Rooney’s lack of mobility and the fact that he’ll always be in Hodgson’s side ahead of him, even if he doesn’t score a league goal from open play all season.  You also have the promise of Ross Barkley and Jonjo Shelvey from these games but you know that Hodgson will continually pick shite like Milner, Carrick and Henderson.  Carrick and Henderson were injured for these games but you know they’re coming back and Milner was as he always is – shite.  It’s been said over the years that skilful players like Matt le Tissier, Glenn Hoddle et al, would have had 120 caps if they were Spanish or French as they would have been trusted and embraced.  If Milner was Spanish or French he’d have no caps at all because he lacks the basic skill of ball control, and actually passing to a team mate.  He could have played for the scuffling Scandanavian sides or any underdog side that just runs about and makes it difficult for the opposition but are England one of those or should we aspire to be better than that?  Against San Marino, his second half consisted of cross to the keeper, cross to the keeper, foul, foul, ball given away, foul, substituted.  His booking in the Swiss match was a classic – an awful first touch and then chasing it, attempting to recover and hoofing over an opponent.   Anyway – England are in the finals and it’s the hope that kills you.

A final bit on internationals…. The FIFA world rankings have been in the news recently, mainly because Wales have marched up the list.  These rankings are used in part to decide seedings for tournaments and as such, you’d hope they were accurate as they have an effect – get them wrong and you could end up with a shite group with weak sides in it or alternatively, a group of death scenario.  A first glance at the list sees Belgium (2) being ranked above World Champions Germany (3).  Germany of course, beat Argentina (1) in the final which was less than a year ago.  I wonder how many points you get for a World Cup Final win as opposed to a meaningless friendly win.  Have Belgium beaten anyone decent by the way?  Wales are currently 8th which suggests that they’d be favourites to win if they played any of England (9), Spain (11), Netherlands (12), Italy (16) or France (24).  I guess that Jazz Richards and Chris Gunter belong in a better side than Iniesta, Pirlo, Robben etc etc.  What utter shite.  Wales have beaten the aforementioned Belgium (2) in their qualifying group I guess which gave them some serious points towards their World Ranking and apparently if they’d won that difficult home game they just had against the might of Israel (46), they’d have been ranked 4th, above Colombia (4), Brazil (5), Portugal (6) and Chile (8).  I’ve got nothing against Wales but in truth, they’re not much better than Northern Ireland (41) and they’re one injury to Bale from having no goals in their team at all.

Back to today and I’m mildly irritated by the team news that Romeu is dropped and Big Vic is back in.  Romeu of course, threw his toys out and demanded a transfer and not travelled to Kenya for an international during the week… oh no, that was Vic, silly me.  Oh and Romeu was brilliant in the last game against Norwich.  Ok then.  Steven Davis is in the side again having been awful in the Norwich game but Sadio Mané only got back from Senegal on Friday so he’s on the bench with J-Rod starting.  Also starting is Virgil Van Dijk who comes in, with Yoshida and Caulker on the bench.  West Brom have 10 other players and Rickie Lambert who starts, with their own ‘unsettled by Spurs’ player, Saido Berahino on the bench.

Dusan Tadic has started over on the right and before I’d finished moaning about that, there was some neat interplay between him and JWP and a curling left footed cross which just evaded a Big Beautiful Italian lunge.  That turned out to be the only excitement in the first 15 minutes as the pattern of the game became very apparent.  We were going to pass it around lots and they were going to try and hit us on the break or hope that the lumpy forward partnership of Lambert and Rondon produced something.  Lambert took a ball and did well to hold off Big Vic before turning and playing a superb ball inside Targett for MacManaman to run onto.  As he burst into the box, Targett slid in from miles away and clattered him.  It looks a penalty all day long but the ref gives a goal kick.  Hang on… so he didn’t touch the ball and it’s not a foul?  Really?  How lucky was Targett there?  What a stupid tackle that was, lunging in like a twat.

Having given that one for us, the ref (Stuart Attwell, refereeing his first Premier League game for 2 years since being demoted for being shite) then has another shocker as Brunt steams through the back of Tadic and hoofs him up in the air.  That’s mandatory booking but not today where it’s just a free kick.  It’s not he referee’s fault that we waste it however.

West Brom have a couple of half chances from a couple of corners as Dawson loses Fonte and heads it with the top of his head and over the bar and then Attwell has another beast as the next corner is headed straight up in the air and as Stekelenburg comes for it, Dawson just ignores the ball and charges into him, knocking him over which causes havoc and we eventually scramble it clear.

We are trying to play football but it’s very sideways most of the time.  We have JWP and Davis playing in virtually the same position again and they’re too similar.  JWP is involved in some nice play out on the left with ends with J-Rod outmuscling Dawson and making his way across the top of the penalty area before slipping as he shot straight at Myhill.  Right on half time and Tadic puts over a superb cross from the right and J-Rod does brilliantly to get in front of Dawson but having done that, he really has to do better than heading wide of the near post.  Half time and this is going to be 0-0, surely as death, taxes, Spurs being twats and Brendan Rodgers being a smug tosser.

West Brom allow us to totally dictate the pace of play at the start of the second half and we decide that ‘walking pace’ is what we’ll go for as we pass it about in front of the bank of 8 players.  We have a half arsed shout for a penalty as Big Vic’s header strikes Flethcher who is about 6 inches away.  There would have been some scenes if Twatwell had given that after the Targett tackle.

Virgil van Dijk has been having a quiet and efficient debut and generally making it look easy but he gets caught out slightly when J-Rod does what he did in Midtjylland and presents the ball to the opposition on the left and one ball sees Rondon put in on goal inbetween Virgil and Targett but luckily he’s shite and blazes high and wide.  It’s time for the Berahino circus to hit town as he comes on and it’s Sir Rickie who goes off.  It’s quite sad really – the year at Liverpool has totally ruined him and he looks a much worse player than the one who left us in June 2014.

There’s a heart-in-mouth moment soon after as a hopeful and shite cross is hoisted into our box and Stekelenburg is unchallenged and has all the time in the world .... to drop it behind him but luckily he’s more awake than MacAulay and he flops on it on the line.  Graziano’s face as Maarten dropped the ball was priceless.  Pellè’s up the correct end of the pitch in our next attack as we break up play on the left and Steve Davis leads the charge, feeding Pellè on the left.  He slides the ball across just in front of J-Rod and it comes to Tadic.  He should hit it first time but it’s on his right foot so he pulls it back to JWP who hits it at the fucking moon.  Aaargh.  Do you remember how efficient Everton were with their breakaway football at St.Mary’s?  Well this was the opposite.

Mané is on for J-Rod in an attacking move and Maya is on for Cédric in a defensive one.  The former change nearly works as Myhill shanks a goal kick which is played first time by Davis to Mané.  He has a run at the last defender but takes a heavy touch and tamely hoofs the shot wide as the angle closed down. Injury time and nothing is happening except one shot from the home side where Craig Gardner thought he was Carlos Alberto as the ball was rolled to him on the right but he shanked it horribly, in keeping with the rest of the game.

Well that was tedious in the extreme.  We played, to coin a phrase from Gordon Strachan, propaganda football where it looks good on the stats in terms of possession but we didn’t do anything with it. Two shots on target for us and one for them is the stat that tells you it was crap.  Tony Pulis did shed light on the non-penalty though as he criticised MacManaman for diving.  Fair play to him.  No matter how many times I see the tackle, I still can’t see that he definitely dived but there must be enough evidence of it for the manager of the player in question to call him out.  The interpretation seems to be that he dived before any contact was made whereas if he’d continued his run he’d have been clattered or got through on goal.

Ronald bemoaned our lack of cutting edge but was also pleased with the clean sheet and ‘if you can’t win, don’t lose’ philosophy is a decent one to have.  To be honest, starting the season with three away draws is not bad – the slightly worrying thing is that they have been against Newcastle, Watford and West Brom who will all be in the bottom 6 come the end of the season.  We seem to be getting the wrong balance in the side at the moment, particularly in away games.  Our away record has not been great for a while so maybe keeping it tight is the way to go.  Personally, against weaker sides who don’t have any pace up front like West Brom today, I feel we’d have been better going with Romeu and Big Vic, with Tadic in front of them.  As I’ve said before, JWP and Davis together does not work as there’s very little creativity.  Mané not being ready for 90 minutes was a blow as well and though J-Rod worked hard, you can see he’s not really back to his best as yet.  Shane Long must be a bit pissed off that he didn’t get on the pitch against his former club as well.  I always think he’s worth throwing on for the last 10 minutes just to bug the shit out of the tiring defenders and it’s surprising that with a substitution left in the bank, that neither JWP or Davis came off.  The main positive today was Virgil van Dijk who showed what he’s about with calm play out from the back which will give us more options including maybe playing with a back 3.  You could have Caulker (right foot giant), Fonte (organizer) and van Dijk (left foot, ball player) with Cédric and Bertrand on the flanks.  Bigger tests will come for Virgil defensively but today was a very good start and overall, that’s three clean sheets in a row in the league.

Oh look, a bigger test. Next up we have Manchester United at home who will be the best side we’ve played since Everton.  They’re certainly beatable and it would be very nice to beat them for the second time in a row and no doubt the Koeman v van Gaal issue will get some treatment in the build up..  Hopefully Sadio Mané starting will make us a little more creative and Ronald can find the right balance in midfield.  Clean sheets are a great launch pad and hopefully next Sunday we can actually get off the ground.

Premier League Match 4 - Southampton 3 Norwich 0

Well that's Buggered the Game Plan Hasn't it you Twat!

Everyone has a mate who supports Man United or Man City or Arsenal but not everyone has a mate who supports Norwich City. I forget this from time to time but he will be dressed in yellow and green at St Mary's today and I hope he has a really shit time. We had a really shit time of our own a couple of days ago in Denmark so today is a must win for lots of reasons. The first requirement of winning is to play some decent fucking football with the ball on the ground so the first couple of minutes will tell us much about how things are going to go.

Norwich have started okay this season, registering a decent away win, albeit at Sunderland who were a complete shambles. Delia Smith is still there and I assume she is still all over the cooking sherry. Please stay off the pitch at half-time Delia as we all want to listen to the irritating bald bloke.

News is breaking as the game approaches that Victor Wanyama is mentally and physically unable to play. As anyone with a couple of brain cells knows, this means that he is sulking and it possibly means that he is refusing to play unless we sell him to Spurs. How we are supposed to sell him to Spurs without them making any sort of bid., let alone agreeing a price is anyone's guess. Spurs don't actually make bids you see, they just leak it through the media that they might possibly maybe like to if the wind is blowing in the right direction and the planets are aligned and Daniel Levy's wallet happens to be open. The sad thing is that in the eyes of a majority of Saints fans,   Refusing to play basically, is a big bollocks dropping exercise and Victor will have gone from hero to zero in one fell swoop. With him obviously kicking off behind the scenes, you do wonder how much of a negative effect it had on the rest of the squad and how much it contributed to the Thursday night's shambles.

Sadio Mane has obviously put Manchester United’s alleged ‘Pedro-signed-for-Chelsea-so-we’ll-look-like-we-planned-it’ interest to the back of his mind as he is starting today along with Cédric and Dusan Tadic. As the players line up to start it looks like JWP is playing deeper than Steven Davis and will anchor the midfield along with Romeu

Away we go and the ball is worked back to Yoshida from the kick off and boom….(sigh!) up to Pellè but Bassong is all voer the back of him so we win a free kick straight away so that hoof is forgiven.  It’s just to the left of centre and JWP strikes it really well and we all get excited until Ruddy flies across to his right to tip it wide. Bastard.  Tadic put the corner over and it falls to Romeu steaming in and he takes out two Norwich players in the act of smashing it miles over the bar.

The good news is that we settle down and play some decent football.  Cedric, JWP and Mané combining well down the right before Mané’s cross is behind Pellè and he gets wildly optimistic in trying an overhead kick from 25 yards out which skews comfortably wide.

Norwich’s first attack brings a decent chance as howson latches onto a poor Fonte clearance, slings it over and finds Hoolahan at the back post.  He cushion volleys it across and Jerome thankfully, is Jerome and seems to get the timing all wrong from his header which kind of scuffs off his ear and wide.

Norwich right back Steven Whittaker then took centre stage for 5 minutes.  Firstly he stopped Targett taking a quick throw in by wrapping his arms around him and picked up a booking.  We create another chance for ourselves with a  quick free kick on the right and Mané hoists a cross over which Pellè expertly flicked on to Tadic who took aim but drilled a left footed shot past Ruddy and a couple of feet past the far post.  A few minutes later and JWP scooped a ball over the top for Tadic to run onto but he couldn’t run onto it because Whittaker decided it was a good idea to grab hold of him and drag him over.  We could have done without Dusan jumping up and down and waving imaginary cards but the red card was out and we have an hour to play against 10 men.

We eventually create a chance from the free kick as Tadic twists two defenders inside out before putting Mané away and his low cross is missed by everyone and falls to Cédric whose shot is headed over the bar.  Norwich have sacrificed Hoolahan to bring on Wisdom and he’s shite so they’ve effectively decided to play with 9.

Just as the clock reach 45 and we thought it was going to have to wait until the second half, Norwich tried to work the ball out from left back rather than smashing it away and JWP eased Howson off the ball and sent Mané away.  Mané slipped a ball into Graziano who lashed it first time past Ruddy and in at the near post.  Thank fuck for that, 1-0.  We have an opportunity to make it 2-0 before half time but Mané’s cross is just a bit too far ahead of Graziano and we get a big beautiful Italian air shot with a ‘Mamma Mia’ thrown in with big hand gestures afterwards.  Half time and relief.

As the second half was about to start, J-Rod was sttod on the line waiting to come on.  A quick scan round tell you that Steven Davis is the man replaced and it looks like we’re going to try and stretch Norwich right out.  Straight away we have a chance but it’s down to a shite kick from Ruddy which goes straight to Mané.  He has Brady on toast before shooting but Ruddy redeems himself with a decent block and he’s at it again when after a rare Norwich attack, Stekelenburg bowls it out to JWP who finds Pellè and his first time pass it smashed at goal by J-Rod only for Ruddy to be up to it again.  Graziano is having a great game hits a first time shot from a short Mané pass which flicks the side netting as it missiles just past the post.

Game over was next as a deliberate build up ended with Mané and Cédric swapping passes before a low Mané cross picked out Tadic at the back post and he sidefooted past Ruddy and into the top corner to make it 2-0.  Great goal.  Game completely over next and what a goal.  A nice build u out of defence before a superb crossfield ball from Romeu to Cédric.  Mané then takes the piss out of defender before feeding Cédric again and the only thing that stopped this being a goal of the season contender was that Graziano’s thumping header was well saved by Ruddy but he was still on the ground as Tadic knocked it into an empty net from a yard whilst three Norwich defenders totally failed to help the keeper out.  Brady was even appealing for offside from his position on the goal line.  Dick.

J-Rod is on a mission to score and has a shoot on sight policy.  He tries a couple of keepy-uppies froma  Cédric cross and volleys one just wide of the near post.  Next up he tries a curler from the opposite sode of the penalty area which flies a yard over the bar.  He’s nearly back.

Subs at the end as Ronald gives Juanmi 10 minutes to show he’s not ready yet and Norwich bring on Gary Hooper for Jerome, somehow making their attack worse.  He has a chance for a consolation as Yoshida messes up giving Johnson a shooting chance, Stekelenburg saves it well down low and the rebound falls to Hooper who should take it on left footed but he obviously hasn’t got one so he smashed it well wide with his right foot.  The end – Get in!!!

Wasn't it great to see us play some good football today after the shambles of last Thursday? Wasn't it nice to see the ball passed about on the floor? It was quite an unbelievable contrast to our last game. It's ironic that on a day when Big Vic confirms that he is just the latest in the long line of fucking dickhead players that we have had over the last few years (yes that's you I'm talking about Lallana and Lovren) that Romeu was absolutely brilliant in midfield to prove there would be life after the latest twat after all. The added bonus was that he didn't get booked either. The headline makers will be Mane Tadic and Pelle and they were all excellent but Romeu stole the show for me. It was also nice to see JWP having another decent match. I get the feeling with him that just one of these free kicks flying in is going to give him the confidence to kick on and become a more effective player. If he does this, he will be the latest to prove the majority of fans wrong who seem to have decided that he's shit. It's another clean sheet for the defence and though that side of things definitely became easier after the red card, it was good to see Cedric both defending competently and attacking well. Most of the attacking threat from Norwich came down our left-hand side and Matt Targett stood up really well defensively.

It was a very good day for Ronald Koeman today. Played 4, won 1 drawn 2, lost 1 really doesn't look too bad and we have more points than fucking Spurs.

Ronald confirmed afterwards that Victor Wanyama had indeed asked to leave but reiterated that he wouldn't be sold. My immediate stance would be to tell Vic to go and fuck himself and rot in the under 21s. I wouldn't put it quite like that if I was talking to him though. If Spurs are that desperate to do a deal before the end of the transfer window however, then say that they can have him for £30 million or else they can go and fuck themselves and their fucking Sky Spurs Sources.

I thought Norwich were pretty desperate to be honest. You are never going to score enough goals to stay in the Premier League if you play with one striker and that one striker is Cameron Jerome. How bad must Ricky van Wolfswinkel be if he's behind Jerome and Gary Hooper in the pecking order? They will say that the sending off changed the game but trust me Norwich, you were going to get beaten anyway today.  I was impressed by how Alex Neil spoke after the game and basically admitted that they weren’t very good and that they were poor before the sending off and didn’t deserve anything from the game.

We now have an international break which is well timed because it gives us chance to get some players back fit, notably Ryan Bertrand and Jordy Clasie. We have another few days of transfer window to endure which will hopefully only see incoming players, unless Spurs actually feel like putting their money where their mouth is. The main plus point of today's win is that as a fan it gives you a good feeling as you wait for the next game unlike the completely shit feeling we all had after Thursday's debacle in Denmark.  We also have the transfer deadline to get through but more on that next time I guess.

England have two matches in the break, away to San Marino and home to Switzerland so we can expect Rooney to break the England goalscoring record and us have to put up with a media wankathon for a few days. Once that is done and dusted, we cannot look forward to the away game at West Brom and playing against Sir Rickie once more and it's a game we can certainly win.