Euro 2012 Part 4 - Warsaw Warzone

Mario - Not Shit after all

12^th June 2012 – Group A

The second round of group matches was going to give me a few problems as I was going to struggle to watch the 5pm kick offs due to travelling home from work.  However, maybe it’s a coincidence but the less interesting of the games are on at 5pm and the more interesting at 7.45pm.  So, Czech Republic against Greece is first up and as I’m leaving work, it’s on in the foyer so I watch five minutes and see the Czech’s rip into a 2-0 lead through Jiracek and Pilar, their two best players from the first game.  Another impressive Czech player is the right back, Gabre Selassie who is about as Czech as I am but his storming run to the byline to set up the second goal will have made him very popular in Prague.  Both goals were scored without any intervention from Costas Chalkias who is clearly still a dreadful keeper.  It appears that he even knows this and was substituted with an unspecified injury before the first half was through.   Greece did their usual and then started playing and had a goal ruled out for a very tight offside before half time.  Dodgy keeper are all the rage though and Petr Cech continued the trend by making a complete bollocks of a tame cross as he took his eye off it and allowed it to slip through his had to the unmarked Gekas who couldn’t miss.  Despite chucking forwards on, Greece seemed pretty clueless about chasing an equalizer and so the Czech’s held out to give themselves a chance of going through.

The early game was very much the appetizer for the main course of Poland against Russia.  You wouldn’t know this if you watched the ITV coverage with Roy Keane and the Brummie Potato but it all kicked off on the streets of Warsaw before the game.  Today is a holiday in Russia, celebrating the break up of the old Soviet Union so naturally, some Russian fans thought it would be a jolly wheeze to march through Warsaw celebrating this which wasn’t likely to be an inflammatory gesture at all was it?  I guess Wikipedia may have two entries for ‘Battle of Warsaw’ now as water cannons, tear gas, rubber bullets and riot police later said that it was a bit of a battle today.  Also, how did they manage to get a bastard great flag into the ground with ‘We are in Russia’ written on it.  Still, I’m sure Platini will say that hooliganism is an English problem.

To the game itself and it was excellent.  Russia play some great stuff going forward and the Poles (in a more limited way) try to match them.  Poland nearly took an early lead when Obraniak whipped in a free kick which was bundled goalwards, hitting keeper Malafeev on the knee and bouncing clear.   They got the ball in the net on the half hour when following a great passing move, Polanski scored from an offside position.  Just before half time, Russia got a free kick when Zhirkov was taken out at neck level on the edge of the box and Arshavin’s delivery was flicked in by Dzagoev with his shoulder or his ear or something.  No matter, 1-0 and 3 goals already for the youngster.  In the second half the Poles came out strongly and equalized on the hour mark when Blaszcykowski ran along the top of the penalty area and lashed in a left footed strike which curled round Malafeev and just inside the post – brilliant strike that was.  To say that he and the Poles in the stadium went nutski is a bit of an understatement.  The rest of the game was a right battle and the Russians showed that they didn’t really fancy it when it got tough.  Lewandowski fired just over with a spectacular volley and Dzagoev saw his low shot saved by Tyton who surely did enough to keep Szczesny out of the side for the next game.  1-1 at the end and time for some more fighting no doubt. 

As for the group situation, the Russians need a point to qualify which they will surely get against Greece but the Czech v Poland game is where it’s all at.  A win for Poland and they’ll go through, anything else and they’re out.  Poland have got a strange balance of decent players like Lewandowski, Obraniak and Blaszcykowski and limited thuggy types like Wasilewski  and Dudka who just hammer everything that comes near them, be it the ball or an opposition player.  Their full backs are a real contrast as well with the skilful Pizczek on the right and Boenisch on the left who is not a footballer in any way.  The Greeks meanwhile, need a bail out… and a new goalkeeper.... and he does look like Mr Bean.

13^th June 2012 – Group B

Portugal and Denmark is the early game and I admit that I was hoping for a Denmark win and Ronaldo crying as he spat his dummy out and sulked off the pitch with stopping to talk to anyone. Portugal left two of their best players on the bench again but it appeared that the manager had got it right as they went into an early lead when Pepe connected with a corner and flicked a very good header into the net.  It looked all over for Denmark as half time approached as Nani fed in a great ball to Postiga who defied the generally held belief that he is shite by darting in front of a defender and rocketing a shot first time high into the net.  The Danes got back into it though as a cross from the right frond Krohn-Dehli at the back post and his header across was nodded in by Bendtner who was totally unimpeded by any defenders or the goalkeeper. 

The second half brought a couple of those moments that you live for when a hate figure fucks up as Ronaldo, vying with Messi for the title of best player in the world, got clean through against the keeper who came out and smothered the greasy little toe poke.  Even funnier was when Greaseball rolled an absolute sitter wide of the post and then Denmark went straight up the other end and another big cross from the right was met by Bendtner at the back post who headed past Patricio via a post.  This goal put both Portugal and the Dutch in the shit but sadly, Portugal managed a winner when Varela (one of the decent players who I talked about not starting), played a left footed air shot but managed to readjust before lashing a right footed shot past the keeper to make it 3-2.  It was notable that all the Portuguese players bundled the scorer except for one.  There’s no ‘I’ in team but these are a few I’s in “Selfish twat who doesn’t like it when it’s not all about him”.

The main dish of the day was of course, Germany v Holland.  I’m of an age whereby this fixture conjures up imagery of a Rudi Voller, the be-mulleted German striker with phlegm in his hair, deposited there at high velocity by Frank Rijkaard, who obviously had a cold, judging by the way he dredged it up from the depths.  The countries don’t like each other much and there is no evidence of ze Germans having given all the bikes back.  The Dutch pick the same misfiring front 6 as they did in the Denmark game and like that game, Robin Van Persie misses an early chance that in an Arsenal shirt, he would have buried.  The game is fairly even but it becomes apparent that ze Germans have sussed out that Holland have a 12 year old at left back in Willems who suddenly looks totally out of his depth.  The Dutch now look all over the place at the back and Schweinsteiger has the freedom of the park and plays in Gomez who finds space with a superb turn before finishing with ease.  Ten minutes later and it’s 2-0 as Willems totally fails to deal with Muller on the right and the same Schweinsteiger – Gomez combination sets the latter through on the right and he rifles a shot into the far side of the net as Stekelenberg kind of falls down.  Talk before the game was of whether needed two holding midfielders in Van Bommel and de Jong but it’s almost as if they had none as Schweinsteiger just did what he wanted.  Talking of Van Bommel – he copped a nasty tackle from Muller which saw him get studs raked down his achilles but boy does he deserve that.  As for Gomez – well as you know, I think he’s shite…. Ahem!  Half time and easy as you like.

Van Marwijk then sends out the side that should have been playing from the start with the totally ineffective Afellay replaced with Huntelaar and Van der Vaart coming on for Van Bommel and what a surprise, the Dutch looked better.  Van Persie managed a decent snap shot which Neuer saved well before getting a goal back with a thumping finish from the edge of the box.  Game on, or is it?  Not really.  Ze Germans started playing keep ball and killing the game in ruthlessly efficient fashion.  There was time for another Dutch tantrum as the manager decided to take Arjen Robben out of Philip Lahm’s pocket and substituted him.  Robben just walked straight over the touchline and over the advertising boards rather than come across the pitch in normal fashion, thus ensuring that everyone was talking about and looking at him after a totally ineffective performance.

Ze Germans saw it out easily to win 2-1 and top the group with maximum points.  They're more likable than they used to be because probably, they're not as 'German' as they used to be.  It does piss me off though when you get commentators collectively knocking one out over the 'German model' as if they've totally reinvented themselves over the last 10 years.  10 years ago they were shit for once and now normal order has been restored and they're decent.  It was only one tournament (Euro 2000) when they were poor.

The Group situation is interesting in that a Germany win against Denmark (likely) will mean that the Dutch can still go through if they beat Portugal.  The potential change to this is of course if ze Germans fancy a nice tame draw against the Danes, then the Dutch are out no matter what.  It must be galling for the Dutch to be needing ze Germans to do them a favour.  If they do then maybe they won’t be so worried about the bikes.