Premier League Match 21 - Manchester United 3 Southampton 1

 

Child Cruelty Part 28

Old Trafford, Manchester United, you know the drill. We go there with zero expectations other than trying to put up a decent showing and hoping that we get a decent shake off of whatever clown PGMOL have decided to send us today.  Don’t know about you, but I’m still haunted by the 9-0 shit show when Mike Dean and Graham Scott conspired to give every single fucking decision that they possibly could, against us. That was the game when I realised that officials would always favour the big club no matter what. It always used to be because Manchester United had Alex Ferguson and the referees were afraid of him or it used to be that Manchester United had 75,000 fans/tourists in the ground, so it was very intimidating but on that particular day, the less than intimidating Ole Gunnar Solskjaer was the manager and there was no one in the ground because of Covid and yet we still got completely barbecued. We would have still lost of course, but not 9-0.

Anyway, that’s all water under the bridge and Manchester United are having another season where they set out expecting to be in the top four and have spent most of the season around 14th in the table. They started the season with ten Hag and have now replaced him with Ruben Amorim and he managed to lose five games out of six not so long ago, but in the last couple of weeks they have shown signs of life, with a draw at Anfield and knocking Arsenal out of the FA Cup on penalties, even though they got absolutely battered in that game could easily have lost 4-1.  It always seems to be luck or a bit of individual brilliance that gets them over the line.  They never seem to actually play that well.

That’s the story of today – United will give us chances and we have to be good enough to take them. They will be looking at this game as one where they can prove that they can comfortably put away teams near the bottom of the league. They seem to have no problems raising themselves for the games against the big boys but in the games that they really should be winning easily, they seem to struggle. Bruno Fernandes has made mention of this during the week so it will be interesting to see whether they pay any attention to him. I feel that United will want to get this game done early so will probably tear into us with everything they’ve got at the start of the game. We need to stand up to this and wait for them to drop into their usual lazy-arsed approach, which will hopefully give us chances to get something out of this game.

Things all got pretty lively in Southampton after the game against Swansea. I have been pondering for a few weeks what Dragan Solak made of it all, specifically the fact that we were in our second year in the Premier League under his tenure and had been even worse this time round than we were the first time. Directly after the Swansea game, it became apparent that the Dragan had awoken.

After the first relegation, Dragan inserted himself as a Director of Sport Republic, which was seen at the time has him wanting to get nearer to the decision-making that was going on around the football club.  Wealthy people do not generally allow others to piss away their money.

The two main men in Sports Republic, Rasmus Ankersen and Henrik Kraft had been separated with Ankersen the Chairman of Goztepe and Kraft the Chairman of Saints.  Dragan Solak’s latest power-play is to remove Henrik Kraft as chairman of Saints and insert himself there, promising to change the football related management at the club which has been a bit of a void ever since Jason Wilcox left in April. Russell Martin was left with no one directly to report to and also left without a voice that he trusted from someone who had played at the highest levels of the game. I can’t help but think that Wilcox, or a similar replacement, would’ve helped greatly in the transfer window in the summer and would also have helped at the start of this season and maybe Russell Martin would’ve listened to a voice that he trusted and not, fallen down the pitfalls that meant we had such a terrible start this season. We will never know what might have been, but it does look that Dragan has decided that as well, and that Henrik Kraft was responsible for that.

Dragan and Henrik in Slightly Happier Times

Whatever the reasoning, this is undoubtedly Dragan indicating that he is not happy with the way things have been going. Henrik Kraft never really made many public utterances for me to form an opinion with any solid foundation, but he and Rasmus always seemed to me to be possessing of the kind of arrogance that makes you think you can be brilliant at anything you turn your hand to.  As we know, football is different.

Team news and there is just a one change from Swansea, with Sugawara coming into the team instead of Manning, which gives us the corridor of uncertainty down the right with Yuki and Jimmy Champo.  Sulemana is given a chance to bring his Swansea form to the big stage.  United are missing Maguire but don’t feel too sorry for them because they have £52 million 19 year-old Leny Yoro to take his place. They are also missing Dalot through suspension and his place goes to Amad Diallo.

With both teams basically playing the same 3-4-3 formation, there was going to be some individual battles to be one out there and Aribo and KWP give Sulemana the ball for his first challenge against £52 million Yoro. The newly confident Kamaldeen lines him up and pisses past him before taking aim of the far post and Onana gets a strong hand to it.

There’s another shot on target a few few minutes later as our Fernandes flows through the middle haven’t been put away by Aribo, who has started the game really well. Matty carries it to the edge of the box before trying to score against his former Sporting managers’ new side, but Onana saves this one comfortably.

£72 million Hojlund has started the game like an absolute fucking binfire with trampolines for boots, but he does get a run on Bednarek in a wide area and shows a clean pair of heels to the Saints captain before teeing up Garnacho by the penalty spot who puts it wide in casually shite fashion.

You Simply Have to Score That

One of my least favourite players in the Premier League is Lisandro ‘The Butcher’ Martinez who is just a bit of an arsehole really, so it is lovely to see Dibling take a short pass from Bree and spin past him, driving into the penalty area and he forces another excellent low save from Onana with the rebound falling to our Fernandes who takes a touch and from 6 yards… blasts it straight at the fucking keeper again. Fuck off.

We might only have 6 points but we’re so much better than them.  We create again by using the tried and tested child cruelty route, as THB plays one down the line and Sulemana lets it run, spins round and Yoro has gone for a hotdog, and the reborn Saints winger is away.  He lines up de Ligt and cuts inside a clumsy arse tackle from the Butcher before curling his effort wide of the post. Shit.  We are so going to pay for all these missed chances, you just fucking know it.  Not just yet though as Bruno Fernandes, who is done fuck all so far tries a skimmer from 30 yards, which Ramsdale easily picks up.

Our First Goal From a Corner Since Time Began

A cross from our Fernandes causes chaos as De Ligt heads straight up in the air and the ball eventually finds its way to Aribo on the edge of the box. He tries to feed it through to Sulemana, but de Ligt gets across to concede the corner.  Something’s got to give you feel. Saints never score from corners and United are shit at defending them. Inswinger from our Fernandes, flicked on by Dibling at the near post and it hits Ugarte’s back and the flailing Onana can’t keep it out. Fuck me we finally scored. We need one of their players to do it for us, but we have finally got the ball in the net.

You would think we would be looking for half time now, but no, we win the ball high and Aribo’s dribble towards the edge of the penalty area is picked up by Dibling, who to smashes it first time but unfortunately it’s straight at the keeper who beats it away.

Half time and we have, not to put too fine a point on it, been brilliant. The only thing missing has been the fact that we haven’t scored the three or four goals that we deserve. We have made United look incredibly ordinary and look the more accomplished side all round.  Are we going to be able to keep it going? Are they going to be just as shit.  Amorim made a change at half time but unbelievably, Amey, left Yoro on the pitch with Mainoo being replaced with £80 million Antony, the spinning top.

Antony announces his arrival with an early effort over the bar early doors before we’re back to business and it’s child cruelty time again as Aribo and KWP combine to flip the ball over the top of the ponderous Yoro for Sulemana to run onto again and he allows Yoro to get back, because he knows he can just piss past him again and his shot is blocked by the diving de Ligt.

Saints have got a nice balance today between passing the ball out from the back without playing suicide ball, and being direct.  Big Les finds Sulemana again and here we go again, this time flying past Yoro on the outside, before getting into the penalty area and taking him at the far post once more but rolling it just wide.

You know we are going to pay for this eventually and it seems that the time is here as Arsehole Fernandes sends Garnacho away down the left and his low cross perfectly picks out Antony at the back post and with Ramsdale on the deck, he manages to slide in and pass it straight back to Ramsdale rather than knock it into the empty net that was a yard in front of him. What an £80 million twat.

Ha ha ha... shit!

The tide is beginning to turn somewhat though and Garnacho lets fly from the edge of the box and it’s comfortably saved by Ramsdale.  Tyler Dibling seems to have picked up a knock and the substitute coming on is … what the fuck… Will Smallbone.  Tyler has been playing on the right side of two attackers with Sulemana on the left, and this change sees Smallbone go to where Fernandes was and Fernandes, probably our best player, is moved to the right.  I don’t understand that one I have to say, seems like a pointless reshuffle. Five minutes go by and Adam Armstrong and Flynn Downes are on for Fernandes and Aribo.  I think this is quite possibly the best game I’ve ever seen Aribo have in the Premier League, and I don’t really understand why he’s gone off.

Another United attack and Zirkzee puts Arsehole Fernandes through, and he tries to dink it over Ramsdale as he comes out, but it hits the Saints keeper and we get it away again.  Then Arsehole finds Amad out on the right wing, and he runs at KWP, tries a shot, gets a lucky deflection back to him and he buries the rebound past Ramsdale. Fuck sake.

Now, I don’t know what the fuck is going on in Ivan‘s head at this point but he takes off the immense Lesley Ugochukwu and  the defensive leader Jan Bednarek and replaces them with Tall Paul and Nathan Wood. This means that Smallbone drops into the midfield two, where I can 100% guarantee he will be shit.

We get to the 90th minute and Amad goes down the right before playing a ball in field to Eriksen, who casually chips over the defence for Amad to run onto and with an excellent first time volley, the ball flashes past Ramsdale and United have got out of jail. Fuck.

We do show slight signs of life with Jimmy Champo putting Sugawara away down the right and his cross is blocked for a corner by Collyer. In comes the corner from Yuki, and THB meets it and it’s going goalwards but unfortunately it hits Downes and goes wide for a goal kick.

As time runs out, we have a throw on our right which we work back to Ramsdale.  He knocks it to THB who takes the worst touch you’ve ever seen and presents Amad with an easy run in to the net for his hat-trick. Fucking hell.  Ultimately the goal doesn’t matter, but it’s so fucking annoying. Full-time verdict, we were brilliant for 75% of the game without taking our chances and then we absolutely fucked ourselves.

I know at the end of the day this makes absolutely no difference to any chance we have of staying in the Premier League, but if I didn’t get angry about defeats like this individual games, then it would mean that I didn’t care anymore and I do care.  I care that we were brilliant for 70 minutes apart from the putting the ball in the net thing, and there really looked to be only one winner in this game. We were holding United at bay fairly comfortably and had a real attacking threat and looked as likely to score again, as they did to equalise.

Fucking hell, did we miss chances though?

Sulemana had £52 million Yoro absolutely on toast every time he got the ball and he knew it. What I liked about Sulemana was that he drove at Yoro every single opportunity he had but the finish just wasn’t there, either putting it too close to Onana or putting it wide. Tyler Dibling brought a wonderful save out of Onana as well and Fernandes had a free shot of the rebound from about 6 yards and managed to blast it straight at the goalkeeper again. It’s probably no coincidence that our goal had to be put into the net by a United player.  We should have been three up at half time.

The second half continued in the same vein with Sulemana making Yoro look a horrendous player but then the injury to Dibling saw a completely unnecessarily uncomplicated change.  We were playing so well so do a like for like instead of messing the team about. From then on it just collapsed and the goal threat dried up. Joe Aribo was replaced with Flynn Downs, which doesn’t sound too bad on paper, but Downes was clearly not fit and Aribo was having his best game of the season. Next, the excellent Fernandes was replaced with Adam Armstrong but when United had got back level, the absolute mind-fucker was the spine of the team, Bednarek and Big Les, taken off to be replaced with Nathan Wood and Tall Paul, a move that meant Smallbone going back into midfield where his inability to run was going to be even more exposed than Leny Yoro’s inability to run.  Six minutes later and it’s 3-1.

The third goal was from horrendous mistake by THB, which wouldn’t have happened if it was still 1-0 and was a shame because he had had a tremendous game up to that point. Amad Diallo scoring a hat-trick for United is fitting because he was literally their only attacking threat.  Once again, it’s individual brilliance that does it for United against lesser sides.

Though I wasn’t over enthused with the starting 11 with Sugawara and Jimmy Champo starting, it has to be said that those two, as well as Joe Aribo had tremendous games until it all went to shit when we started emptying the bench. We just don’t have enough good players to be able to make five substitutions. That is the long and the short of it it’s just so dispiriting that we can go to Trafford, be the better side and then shoot ourselves in the foot. I was unavoidably reminded of the Leicester City home game this season when we were winning comfortably until we started making substitutions. Back in that game, Russell Martin made five substitutes with every single one of them making us weaker and today Ivan Juric repeated the trick.  He got the starting team right but the in-game management… not so much.

Our Substitute Midfielders Were Not Great

There seems to be an assumption amongst managers these days that making a load of changes at the end will make the team stronger because it adds energy. If you bring on substandard players and take off very important ones then the disruption it causes is going to outweigh any energy that is brought, if any is brought at all.  Smallbone can’t run and is the worst substitute you could possibly bring on if you want to add energy. Adam Armstrong is basically crap at this level, Nathan Wood is inexperienced at this level, Paul Onuachu is largely crap and Downes was coming back off of an injury so wasn’t up to full speed.   I do hope Juric wasn’t looking at the Nottingham Forest game and trying to save players for that. There are a million managers who have lost the game in front of them because they are looking at the next game, Saints needed to get over the line today and that would’ve had a huge impact, much more than saving key players League for a few minutes.

I will never understand the substitutions that the manager made today but in his defence, at least he recognised the fact that they didn’t work, saying that he expected much more from the players who came on. I know he’s new to the club and all that, but surely some of the coaches who have been there a while could have told him exactly what Tall Paul, Armstrong and Smallbone were going to provide.

Had we won here, we would’ve gone into the weekends game at Nottingham Forest feeling good about ourselves, but as it is, it’s another, mentality catastrophe which the players have to recover from. I think we know what the starting lineup will be. Maybe we should make it play 90 minutes if we possibly can.  We were amazing for 70 minutes but there's a world of difference between being able to do that and being able to get over the line in the Premier League.

Up the Fucking Saints