Premier League Match 21 - Wolves 3 Southampton 1

 

Don't Shoot From There - It's Miles Out

Every time a game against Wolves comes around, I realised that I don’t know much about them. The reason for this is because I’m always asleep by the time they come on Match of the Day because they are usually on late because their games are usually very boring. For some reason, Tottenham thought it was a good idea to take the architect of this kind of football and making him their manager at the start of the season and that didn’t work out very well. In Nuno Espirito Santo‘s place, Wolves employed Portuguese (surprise surprise) manager Bruno Lage, who has continued the good work of Nuno by mainly, boring the shit out of everyone.  However, his football has got results which is what it’s all about.  When we played them earlier on in the season, both teams were winless at that point and we produced a shocker of a performance and fell into the trap that was set by giving away a soft goal which ultimately won Wolves the game.  We don’t want any of that today please lads.

Wolves are incredibly well organised and will take advantage if you are not the same, which explains why they managed to relatively easily beat Manchester United at Old Trafford a few weeks ago. Since they won that game at St Mary‘s, which as I said, was their first win of the season, they have been showing almost Champions League form and are currently eighth in the table.  It is not however, a game that we should go into with anything to fear.

Our nemesis over the last few times we’ve played Wolves has been Pedro Neto but he is unavailable and so the main threat today will be Raul Jimenez. It’s great to see him get a run of games after the horrible injury he suffered last season. They still have Adama Traore who has recently been linked with a move to Spurs because they need a player who looks good on a highlight reel, beats lots of players but hardly ever scores or sets up a goal.  The back line is marshalled by Conor Coady and is usually very uncompromising with Max Kilman and Roman Saiss being the other two centre backs. It’ll be interesting to see how they handle the pace and power of Armando Broja.

There’s been a lot of talk this week about the chances of us having Broja with us next season either as a permanent deal or on loan. As far as I can see, there is absolutely no incentive for Chelsea to sell him now but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to get the deal done. Basically, with four years left on his contract, the value of the player is only going to rise over the next three transfer windows so the sooner we try and get it done the better. Chelsea are a strange club regarding contracts so you never know. They have just given a four-year contract to Michy Batshuayi who has basically not played for them for about four years and is well past the promising youngster stage.

Good news from the Saints is that KWP is back in training after having a bout of Covid. Covid has now become a convenient excuse for certain Premier League teams to get their games called off.  The AFCON, injuries, suspensions, transfer window being open and a need to loan out players are the real reasons.  The more this happens, the more it annoys me and the bigger shambles it is. As it stands, our one game yet to be rearranged is against Newcastle, who have signed two players since the date of the original game so far. My money is on there being at least three more by the time the game comes around. Ralph’s suggestion that these players shouldn’t be allowed to play in the rearranged game has largely been met with indifference from the people that matter.

Ok, same team as Brentford with no KWP.  It will be interesting to see if it works against a better side.  Fair play to Wolves, they have a few missing but there has not been any suggestion that this game would be called off.  They have a few kids on their team / bench so fair play to them for having a bit of integrity.
Away we go and its Saints on the front foot, winning a succession of early corners.  The closest we come to doing anything with one of them is Romeu heading the ball back into the box, Salisu flicking it on and Bednarek going in with Sa but not managing to get a decisive touch.

Then I remember what I hate about Wolves as in quick succession, Podence and Ait-Nouri go down screaming after two challenges that amount to the square root of fuck all.  Fucking get up you embarrassing twats.  To his credit, the referee Michael Salisbury doesn’t give them free-kicks but unfortunately he doesn’t book them either so it’ll happen again.

Tella has a decent run down the right hand side, made easier by the absence of Ait-Nouri who is somewhere else, presumably rolling around in fake agony. Tella plays it infield to Romeu who wisely decides against shooting but instead to knock it out to Perraud, who cuts in on his right foot and smashes it near post but Sa gets down to save comfortably enough.

We have hardly seen Wolves as an attacking force until diving little shit Podence tries a backheel in midfield but it goes straight to Tella who seems to get caught in two minds between clearing it and trying to start a Saints attack, so he loses it.  Podence finds Jimenez in the box who is superbly tackled by Lyanco and the ball breaks to Ait-Nouri who goes to ground of course under a challenge from Bednarek.  No worries, ref gives a corner. The referee Michael Salisbury is not interested in a penalty but Wolves certainly are because the bastards are all around the referee, led by Moutinho and Coady. Saints are decidedly not impressed with this behaviour and some handbags and shoving goes on and we go upstairs to VAR

“Hi Michael it’s young Robert Jones at Stockley Park”
“What do you want Robbie, it’s only a corner?”
“Yeah but all the Wolves players are yelling at you mate, we’ve really got have a look at something cos a few games have been called off and we’re bored”
“Really, oh go on then if you must”

[Time goes by, civilisations rise and fall, eventually….]

“Got it. We’ve slowed it down to a tenth of its natural speed”
“And….”
“He hasn’t meant it but the clumsy defender has definitely made contact with Ait-Nouri”
“Really Robbie?”
“Yeah, you may wanna call an ambulance on Health and Safety grounds because he’s clearly been murdered, judging by the way he is rolling around.”
“No need mate - he’s already up and screaming in my face that they should have a penalty. Okay send me to the monitor - I’m there now”
“There you go Michael, ridiculously slowed down which means that it’s going to be a definite penalty.”
“Can’t really argue with that lad, penalty it is.”

Sometimes when you look at penalty takers you can tell if they’re dodgy or not or whether their bottle is going to go but there is no way that Jiménez is going to miss and sure enough, he rolls in as calmly as you like. Bollocks.

Saints try to get back to it with Redmond picking up the ball on the right and playing it to Romeu who curls over beautiful cross right onto the forehead of Salisu and all he has to do is head it down but he heads it at savable height and Sa is close enough to it to get off the ground and push it away. Good save but he really has to score from there.

Some more good link-up play on the edge of the box and JWP puts Perraud away on the left and his cross deflects and bounces over the top of Broja but there is Tella at the back post, getting in front of the full back but shiteing the chance over the bar. The flag has gone up but that’s against Broja and it has to go down as a horrible miss and it would’ve counted had it gone in.

Half time.  Irritated.  We should have scored.  Bloody hell Wolves are annoying.  We’ve been disjointed again despite the chances we’ve created and no surprise that Ralph has clearly agreed and Diallo is off to be replaced with Adams.  Ok, we’re back to 4-2-2-2 but this leaves Bednarek at right back.

At the start of the second-half we win a throw on the right hand side which is hurled in by Bednarek, Broja flicks it on and Romeu competes for it, gets a toe to the ball and then Dendoncker, who is already committed to try and clear it, kicks him in the leg.  Clear foul. Just you wait till the VAR twats slow this one down and have a look at it.  Definite penalty. Saints have decided to not get all around the referee, who has basically let the game go on as Lyanco sends the ball into orbit.  Dendoncker is being a complete prick and motioning the thought Romeu dived. As if.  Romeu to his credit but not to our advantage, has got straight back up and limped away without making a massive fuss.

What do you mean no VAR review? Looks like the phone lines to Stockley Park aren’t working for fucks sake.  Whatever the reason, we have been completely fucked over there.

Fraser Goes Walkabout - Doesn't End Well

The game goes on.  Wolves have a goal disallowed for a clear offside and a few minutes later, Lyanco leaves one on Podence, who of course goes down like a massive sack of shit or more accurately, like the tiny little 5 foot nothing sack of shit that he is. In comes the free-kick and Fraser Forster is off his line to go and claim it but he gets absolutely fucking nowhere near it. Kilman heads it over him and Fraser just turns and watches as the ball bounces off the inside of the post and Conor Cody nods it into an empty net.

We may get away with it because there is a VAR review for offside against Kilman.

“Hi Robbie it’s Michael, you there?”
“Rob?”
[silence]
“Was Kilman offside there for the first header?”
[silence – faint snoring]
“Fuck me Rob, is that why there was no review of that penalty shout earlier?”
Zzzzzzz
“Goal then innit?”

And there we have it, we’ve thrown them another preventable goal.

Saints try and respond with Redmond playing quite possibly its first decent pass of the afternoon to put Adams through but as we know with Che, he hasn’t got a left foot so his scuffed near post effort is easy for Sa to save.

10 minutes ago and Redmond picks up the ball and a halfway line and runs before being cynically taken out by a combination of Coady and Moutinho. This is a good 35 yards out and Wolves obviously don’t think there’s any danger because they’ve only set a two man wall.  Up comes JWP and hits an absolute thunderbastard which rips away into the opposite corner that he normally aims for and Sa can’t get nowhere near it. What a ridiculous free-kick. He’s cut across that with his right foot and it is absolutely pinged away into the right top corner as he looks at it.  Game on.

90 minutes are up and Wolves are getting slightly nervous, diving around a little bit more as usual but Saints have possession and Stuart Armstrong works it out to Bednarek on the right hand side and fair play to him, he digs over a really good cross which is met by Perraud at the back post and his header back across crashes into the angle of post bar and down and Stuart Armstrong’s follow up is half blocked by defender so just runs through to the goalkeeper. Fucks sake.  That you suspect will be out last chance.

We’re gambling at the back now and it’s nearly 3-1 straight after as Fabio Silva bundles through on the left hand side and forces Forster into a decent save but it comes out to Traore who lashes the open goal over the bar.  Having not covered himself in glory allowing Fabio Silva to get the shot in in the first place on the last attack, Lyanco then makes a bit of a fanny of himself by signalling that he is injured to the referee without going down, so play goes on and Adama Doesn’t-Do-Weights runs into the big hole that Lyanco has left and outpaces Salisu before drilling it across Forster and into the far corner of the net. 3-1, fuck off.

Okay, I have a certain amount of humble pie to eat because Wolves today were relatively entertaining.  I’m not really here to talk about them though but fair play to them on their victory and I say that mainly because despite having a few players missing through Covid and having to throw in some youngsters, they did show some integrity and actually turn up. This is what happens when you do what you should and for that reason alone, they deserve the three points that they got.

Whether they actually deserved to win three points based on the 90 minutes of football I’ve just watched is another matter. There is the small matter of refereeing consistency. The ref was sent to the monitor to watch the Bednarek challenge on Ait-Nouri about 30 times before arriving at the decision to award a penalty and to be honest, I can see exactly why was given because Bednarek’s merest brush of the ball doesn’t negate the fact that he took the guy out, even though Ait-Nouri is a pathetic diving cheat at every opportunity. There was a course an incident in the second-half where Romeu got his toe to the ball before being wellied up in the air by Dendoncker but there hardly seemed to even be a VAR check, possibly because Saints as usual, were too fucking nice and didn’t get in the face of the referee.  I promise you that if that one gets viewed properly on VAR and slowed down, then it’s a penalty.

When their incident happened, Ait-Nouri of course went down like he’d been fucking snipered and every Wolves player nearby got around the referee and there was a load of pushing and shoving and you can just imagine the guy at Stockley Park going, oh there must be some sort of incident to look at here I better slow this one down and have a look closely. When Romeu’s incident happened of course, Ori just got up and got on with it and no one questioned the ref. The answer should be to ignore all the theatrics and do everything on its merits but that isn’t going to happen so we have to get more in your face about this sort of thing.

Ralph was fuming after the game for the same reason but I do have to agree with his assessment as well that the referee overall was decent, not falling for the theatrics that Moutinho, Ait-Nouri and Podence and others in gold going for an Oscar whenever there is any sort of coming together of players. It is quite frankly fucking embarrassing the way they roll around, rivalling Tottenham for the most play-acting team in the division.

In my opinion, sticking with the same team and formation as we had against Brentford was wrong. I don’t know what the fitness levels of KWP were like after his absence but if he was fit then he should’ve played. It is a bit mystifying why he didn’t come on in the second half when we were basically relying on Bednarek to get forward from right back and get crosses in.  The things that were wrong and disjointed in the first half against Brentford were also wrong and disjointed in the first half today.

Ibrahima Diallo didn’t seem to know where we should be and it was no surprise that he got hooked at half time because Ralph clearly agreed with me.  Not to sugar-coat it at all, Nathan Redmond was crap.  He played once more like he was trying to get through the game without getting injured and without engaging in any sort of challenge with the Wolves defenders. The bloke cannot play with his back to goal so using him as a centre forward or as a number 10 in the middle of the pitch just does not work. He’s been half decent when he’s played on the right wing this season but stick him on the left or playing up the middle and he doesn’t deserve a place in the team.

We could’ve got something out today in the second half but Fraser’s old weakness came back to haunt him on the second goal when he got caught in absolutely fucking no mans land on the cross and then seemed content to just stand and watch while the ball was pinging about before Coady stuck in the net. JWP’s ridiculous freekick gave us hope and we got unlucky with Perraud’s late effort against the post. The third goal didn’t really matter because we would’ve lost anyway but again it keeps up our run of being the team you wanna play if ever you’re out of form and have gone months without a gold. Just how does Adama Traore get to be that size without doing any weights? It’s an absolute fucking mystery.

We have started to give shit goals away and we have to stop doing that pretty damn quick. The whole incident with Bednarek giving the penalty away was started by Nathan Tella failing to clear the ball when he had a clear chance to do so. The second goal was a goalkeeping nightmare. You can definitely say that we didn’t get the breaks today and similar to the game at St Mary‘s, Wolves just waited for us to make a mistake and pounced on it and won the game. I think they go into every game settling for 0-0 but if they nick a goal and get in front, they are very very good at holding the lead, through bring well organised and maximum shithousing - diving, rolling around, time-wasting etc etc. I have grudging respect for that but it must be horrible to watch and deep down, you know that the likes of Conor Coady are embarrassed by it.  Today we contributed to our own downfall, with the penalty we gave away and then we managed to throw ourselves deeper in the shit with Fraser’s calamity.

It’s a shame that we didn’t get anything out today because as you know, our next three games are Manchester City, Tottenham and Manchester United, Manchester City will definitely turn up but it’s in the lap of the gods as to whether Tottenham and Man United will. We have to make an effort to get the defensive solidity back that we had earlier on in the season. Remember, we got very creditable draws with all three of these teams earlier on in the season but we’re going to struggle to pick up points against them this time around if we keep shipping goals that could be prevented.

Bring it on.