Sunday, June 20, 2021

Euro 2020 Part 2 - (It'll be a fucking miracle if) It's Coming Home

 

First Penalty On the Moon

Day 6 – Wednesday 16th June

The second round of matches started with one of those games that no one really wants to watch with Finland taking on Russia in St Petersburg. Russia had clearly got their timing right for this game because they had a lot more energy than they had in their limp defeat against Belgium. Very odd. Finland thought they taken the lead when the guy with the unpronounceable name, who scored against Denmark, got on the end of a cross but he was ever so marginally offside. It’s a correct call but you know, it’s so close as to be ridiculous and no one from Russia was appealing for offside. Just before half-time, Miranchuk put Russia in front after playing a nice 1-2 in the box and curling it into the top corner. Brilliant goal. The expected Finnish recovery in the second-half didn’t really happen and Russia wasted a lot of chances to improve their goal difference, which I guess may be important after their 3-0 defeat by Belgium. Anyhow, I’m sure that Comrade Putin will be happy with them getting three points.

Off to Azerbaijan for Wales against Turkey and what was virtually an away game for the Welsh. Here we have two teams competing to finish second behind Italy. Turkey were dark horses for the tournament for from their first game and I couldn’t see why and after this game, they are more donkeys than horses and they are not winning any race. They were absolutely shite and Wales won a lot more comfortably than scoring the clinching goal in the 94th minute, actually suggests. Both Aaron Ramsey and Gareth Bale missed sitters with Bale hitting a somewhat fortuitously awarded penalty at the Baku moon but Ramsey’s goal before half time gave them a deserve lead and though they came a bit under pressure in the second half, Wales survived easily enough.  One chance blazed over from Yilmaz and one half decent save by Ward.  In the 93rd minute, Bale hilariously managed to work the same short corner routine twice in a row which allowed him to run along the goal line towards the goal. The first time Turkey got away with it but the second time he managed to tee-up Connor Roberts who made it virtually certain that Wales will be qualifying for the next round in either second or third place.  Well played the Welsh though I cannot stress enough how shite Turkey were but you can only be what’s in front of you and Wales thoroughly deserved to win. Robbie Savage was co-commentator again and gave less professional insight than any pissed-up boyo sitting in a pub in any town in Wales would’ve done. In fact, a pissed-up Welsh speaking boyo in a pub in any town in Wales would’ve offered more insight and made more sense to me, than Robbie Savage. The title of “The Pricks Prick” is completely safe.

You know how I said that Sweden were one of those teams that get through and add absolutely fuck all to the tournament - Switzerland are the same.  They were very average against Wales and today against Italy, they were merely on the pitch at the same time. They did absolutely fuck all in a game which also illustrated how good the Italians are. Not only are they brilliant in attack creating chance after chance, they are superb defensively and here’s the hot take – they play as a team. On the rare occasions that Switzerland got anywhere near their goal I’ve got about eight players closing the ball down or throwing themselves at it. As well as that they’ve got Donnarumma in goal, who looks ridiculously imposing.  They had Gianluigi Bouffon for years and now they’ve got this guy. If England are talking about being major players for the tournament then the Italians are a frightening yardstick. Locatelli in midfield scored two wonderful goals and Immobile finally scored with his 248th effort at the goal. 3-0, absolutely easy And the Italians are the first team through.

Vestergaard Inpects the Number on the Back of Lukaku's Shirt, Again


Day 7 - Thursday 17th June

The graveyard shift saw Ukraine play North Macedonia in one of the Groups of Life, so-called because the Dutch are decent but every other team is shite. With a game of little quality expected Ukraine looks set to win at a canter going 2-0 up half-time with goals from Yarmolenko and Yaremchuk but they sat back allowing North Macedonia some hope and they were eventually awarded a penalty which Alioski, recently at Leeds, missed but managed to stuff the rebound into the net. In truth, Ukraine held out relatively comfortably to get a result which will probably get them through to the next round.  They even missed a penalty of their own at the end.

The main dish of the day was Denmark against Belgium it was sure to be an emotional game after the Christian Eriksen incident from Denmark‘s first game. Denmark were absolutely on fire at the start of the game and tore into Belgium we didn’t seem to know what hit them and a horrific mistake by Jason Deneyer gifted the ball to Hojbjerg, who picked out Christian Paulson to drill it across Courtois and into the far corner to give the Danes a 1-0 lead after about two minutes. It was all Denmark for pretty much the rest of the first half, without really testing Courtois further. There was no way the Belgians were going to be as bad in the second half and they got back into the game by simply bringing on some better players from the bench. The first three subs they brought on were De Bruyne, Eden Hazard and Axel Witsel. It was a mistake by Vestergaard which allowed Lukaku to bully his way down the right hand side before finding De Bruyne in the box and he passed up the opportunity of shooting to absolutely lay on a plate for Thorgen Hazard The Lesser, to make it 1-1. De Bruyne had a fantastic game and capped it off with what turned out to be the winning goal as Lukaku picked him out on the left hand side and he didn’t break stride and just absolutely smashed it past Schmeichel at his near post. Very little blame attached to the keeper though as it was just a brilliant strike. More 24 team nonsense today because Denmark have lost both games but can still go through if they beat Russia in their final game – in their case though, it’s good that they’re still in with a shout.

Netherlands against Austria was exactly as I expected it to be. The Dutch bossed it from the start and Austria basically turned up and watched them do it. It was just a case of how long it would take for the Dutch to score and in the end it was about 10 minutes when the rampaging Dumfries got chopped down on the edge of the penalty area and Depay dispatched the penalty. They should’ve scored about three more before half-time but Depay put an absolute sitter over the bar after Weghorst set him up but there was no danger of Austria making them pay for missing chances in about 20 minutes into the second-half the Dutch broke through the dreadful Austrian high line and Malen drew the last offender before teeing up Dumfries to make it 2-0. End of story, the Dutch go through and you can add Austria to the teams that have added absolutely nothing to this tournament and it’s another nail in the 24 team format.

Day 8 - Friday 18th June



Kane Doesn't move Very Fast These Days

We’ve got the best game possible for the graveyard shift. Sweden versus Slovakia. You must be out of your tiny little mind if you think I’m going to watch that. I’ll stick to the condensed highlights which will be lucky to reach 30 seconds. Okay, I’ll admit I did watch a bit more than that but it was absolute flat-pack IKEA boring shit. In the first half, I thought Sweden still thought they were playing against Spain as they just sat in two lines of four on the edge of their own penalty area and basically did nothing. Isak up front, has got the weight of the whole country on his shoulders because no one does anything remotely resembling anything creative. Slovakia won their first game of course so they were basically out for a draw today and they would’ve got it but for Isak having one of his moments where Dubravka carelessly carted him over. Robbie Savage lookalike Forsberg, dispatched the penalty and that was it. Sweden, despite being absolutely shite, are going to make it through to the last 16. At least Zlatan made them slightly interesting when he was playing and you can see why he’d make them a better team now at the age of 39.

The other two teams in England’s group were next to the Czech Republic taking on Croatia at Hampden Park. I didn’t see anything in this game that made me change my mind about anything I previously thought. Both of these teams are pretty average. The Czech Republic have a striker who is decent and Croatia are over the hill. They had Lovren in the team today and he gave a penalty away by basically jumping and heading the ball. His elbow did make contact with Schick’s head but there is no way he meant it and no way he was even aware that the player was there. Complete joke of a decision. Schick scored the penalty and it look like Croatia were heading for the second defeat but Perisic cut in from the left wing and smashed a shot past the goalkeeper, who made the decision to try and save it with a clenched fist rather than making his hands as big as possible by stretching his fingers out. He would probably have saved it then.

England against Scotland at Wembley and the build-up was one that got you genuinely excited about it all.  Clips of Gazza in 96, goalposts breaking, Kevin Keegan and all that. In the ground, both sets of supporters were giving it large and the anthems being sung at full pelt really built things up nicely and I was really looking forward to it. And then the game started. Scotland the first a show with Adams having a shot blocked when he was left unmarked about 10 yards out and England hit the post relatively early on when Stones rose unchallenged to head Mount’s corner onto the post – has to score there. Scotland continued to carry a threat and Stephen O’Donnell brought a very good save out of Pickford. Like in the first game, for the last 25 minutes of the first half, England were shocking with stodgy possession sideways and backwards and not linking the midfield and attack at all. Phillips was playing a lot deeper than he did against the Croatia, so he and Rice were basically just stood in front of the back four. With the fullbacks not getting forward it was the 6–0-4 formation – a variation on Southgate’s often employed 7-0-3 formation.

Changes were needed at half time – the Rice, Phillips, Mount midfield wasn’t working at all and the full backs weren’t getting forward.  Kane had hardly had a touch and Sterling had looked bright for about 15 minutes but then disappeared. No changes in personnel or style as the second half got going in much the same pattern.  Foden was the best one out of our front six so of course, when it was time to make a sub, he got substituted to be replaced by Grealish because we have course can only have one exciting player on the pitch at any one time. Grealish had a couple of moments but couldn’t do it on his own and he wasn’t getting much help from Sterling or the Bermuda Triangle in midfield.  It was bollocks - Kane was substituted again after 80 minutes of lethargic lumbering about and we were left with hoping for a set piece or a bit of Grealish magic.  The trouble with the set pieces today was that Mount clearly thinks that the ideal height to put in a corner or a free-kick is 4 foot off the ground.  For the last ten minutes,  Rice and Phillips stayed stationed just in front of the back four – just in case Scotland turned into 1982-era Brazil – and that’s now two games for Rice with next to zero passes forwards. The full-backs still didn’t get forward much at all and the game petered out with Scotland gaining a very deserved point. It would’ve been an absolute fucking travesty if we had nicked it.  If anything, Scotland were the better side – a team comfortable in the system they have.

As far as qualification for the next round is concerned, there is no damage done because we could lose to the Czech Republic and still go through but talking up this England side as potential winners, is about as far-fetched as it can get. Southgate is the main problem of course. He settled for a draw at half-time today and to be that risk averse against a team like Scotland it’s just ridiculous – a midfield that doesn’t pass the ball forwards, full backs who don’t get forward. It sounds like I’m being disparaging to Scotland and I really don’t mean to be, they were really very good, outplaying us in midfield and always looking the more dangerous. They had a game plan which was better than England’s and it goes to show that a good team is A lot more than the sum of its parts. More questions than answers for England and I really don’t trust Gareth Southgate to come up with the answers – questions have to be asked over his favourites like Kane, Sterling and Mount after today.  With the likes of Grealish, Bellingham and Sancho, to name but three, sitting on the bench, there is no need to persevere with underperforming players.  I anticipate Henderson and Maguire coming back.

Southampton Fan Bit: A lot was said about James Ward-Prowse when he was left out of the squad (twice).  A lot of the arguments made against his inclusion were from fans of other clubs who don’t watch football outside of goal highlights.  If he’d come on for last half an hour today, of course our set piece delivery would have been better but also, the tempo of passing from midfield would have been much higher and our play from open play would have been much better.  Southgate decided against it though.  JWP in a midfield three with Mount and one of Rice/Phillips would have been a massive upgrade.




Day 9 – Saturday 19th June


Moment that Preceded Unfortunate Events

France turned up in Hungary for what I expected to be a bit of a procession and a comfortable victory but it ended up being anything but. France proved that if you don’t take your chances then things can go wrong with Griezmann, Mbappe and Benzema, all missing chances you would expect them to score before Hungary got in their half once and Fiana ran through the right-hand side of the French team and slotted in at the near post to give the Magyars the lead. It was never going to last though and after Deschamps put Dembélé on, France immediately looked more dangerous and Griezmann eventually scored with 25 minutes to go. More chances came and went but Hungary held out for a very deserved point in front of 60,000 not socially distanced, very loud Hungarian fans in Budapest.

Reports of Germany’s demise have been greatly exaggerated it seems. They started the better against Portugal and thought they’d taken the lead after about 10 minutes but it was narrowly offside. The Germans must been feeling like it was just going to be one of those tournaments for them, as five minutes after that, Ronaldo won a header on the edge of his own box, Bernardo Silva carried the ball forward before crossing a superb diagonal ball to Jota, to take on his chest, draw Neuer out and touch sideways and there was Ronaldo to run it into the empty goal. Brilliant counter attacking goal.

Germany had this novel tactic that Gareth Southgate could learn from in that they actually attacked with pace and the full-backs got forward and this brought them level as Gosens fired in the cross which Ruben Dias smashed into his own net because he tried to use the wrong foot. Five minutes later and another Gosens cross was missed by everybody and eventually Kimmich fired it back across and it was another Portuguese defender, Gurreiro this time, who supplied the finishing touch. Two more German goals followed after the break with Havertz converting another cross from the left wing by Gosens and then Gosens himself headed in at the back stick with Kimmich put over a perfect cross. Absolutely brilliant from the Germans but I don’t know how Nelson Semedo is considered to even be a footballer, let alone an international defender. At 4-1 down, Portugal went out of counter-attacking mode and pulled one back when Ronaldo teed up Jota to score from virtually under the crossbar. He probably thought about diving though. Renato Sanches nearly gave us an interesting last 10 minutes but he crashed a long-range shot against the post as Manuel Neuer just watched. Bruno Fernandes started again for Portugal and I haven’t mentioned him yet because he was absolutely shite.

The game between Spain and Poland surprised me a bit because I expected Spain to win quite comfortably but I reckoned without their complete inability to put the ball in the net. Morata did put them ahead with a goal that was initially disallowed for offside but VAR gave the goal. Poland stuck at it and should’ve equalised through Lewandowski but he smashed it straight in the keeper. Poland kept at it though and equalised with a superb Lewandowski header before the referee attempted to gift Spain the winner by awarding them a penalty for basically fuck all. Up stepped Moreno and hit the post and the rebound went straight back to the one player you wouldn’t want to go back to, Morata, who spooned it high and wide. Poland then set up to defend the living shit out of it and managed to get the point that keeps them in the competition and gives them a chance of progressing. Spain are in trouble. Fail to beat Slovakia in the third game and they may well go out.

Thus endeth the second round of games.  Germany showed exactly how England should be playing with midfield players looking to go forward and full-backs providing the width. Four goals against Portugal, all created by the full-backs and one of them finished off by the full-back as well. Reece James and Luke Shaw would’ve been back on the halfway line. We may get to see that match-up pretty soon because if England win their group and Germany come second, the old enemies play each other in the last 16. They will be the first decent team that we’ve played…..


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