As the
third and final round of group games kicks off, the main thought in my head
about the tournament as a whole is what a load of bollocks this format is, with
four third-place teams getting through to the next round. Basically, the Euros
should be 16 teams with half the teams going out in each round until you get to
the final and that’s all there is to it.
Having 36 group matches to eliminate 8 teams is absurd.
No doubt,
the response to the general dislike of the 24 team format will mean 32 teams
qualify because after all, it’s all about the money. One day will have so
fucking many that the Faroe Islands will qualify by beating Gibraltar in a
play-off or the Super League clubs will be able to enter their reserve teams.
There’s an idea that that Pérez twat from Real Madrid hasn’t thought of yet.
With Italy
already through after two games, it was no surprise to see them rest eight
players against Wales. Wales were virtually through as well having four points
so basically all they needed to do was avoid getting battered by too many. If
that happened there was a slight chance that Switzerland would catch them. Mind
you, the Swiss were playing against the dark horses of Turkey, or the dark turkeys
of Horsey or something like that.
In the end
it was all rather predictable. Italy Reserves outplayed Wales from start to
finish but it wasn’t quite as joined up and fluid as in their previous
performances and despite constant pressure they were only one up at half-time.
Ethan Ampadu then managed to get himself sent off for one of those tackles
which looks like a yellow at full speed, but once VAR slows it down and you add
an over officious referee into he mix, ends up a red. Most of the rest of the game was spent in
Wales half but they held out relatively comfortably to only get beaten by 1-0.
The other game was going to be decided by who could buck the trend. Switzerland
have been dreadfully boring so far and Turkey have just been completely shite.
As it turned out, Switzerland turned up and Turkey showed that they are nothing
if not consistent and produced what they had in the previous two games. There
were some great goals in this game, two of which from the enigma that is
Xherdan Shaqiri and it was nice to see Turkey get a goal as a consolation for
turning up. What we can learn from Turkey at this tournament is that if someone
tries to predict a real outsider to win a tournament, you are free to laugh at
them. Switzerland, despite being dreadfully boring for two matches are more
than likely going to go through as one of the least shit third-place sides with
4 points and a -1 goal difference.
The Ultimate Group of Life involving the Netherlands and three shite teams was up next with the Netherlands predictably romping to a 3-0 win over North Macedonia. Gini Wijnaldum is a completely different player in Orange, then he has been in red for the last few seasons. Again, the Dutch showed exactly how England should be playing, with full backs bombing forward and runners joining in from midfield, one of whom of course was Wijnaldum, who helped himself to two goals. North Macedonia we’re ultimately not good enough but I have to admit that they added an element of fun to the tournament, mainly because they were so open. The number of times they lost the ball when they had half of the team in front of it, was quite remarkable.
Like Switzerland yesterday, Austria bucked the trend of being dreadful in the first two games and managed to squeak past Ukraine 1-0 with a goal by Baumgartner after about 15 minutes. They will be the team that everyone wants to face in the next round but that privilege will go to Italy. It will be interesting to see the odds on Austria in that game because it could be some of the longest odds you’ve seen in international tournament football in a two horse race. Ukraine, despite losing two matches, have a decent chance of getting through as well. Three points gained by beating North Macedonia gets them through.
Belgium are already through of course, so they rested a load of players for their game against Finland. This was a bit rich because Denmark, everyone’s second favourite team, were relying on Belgium to win, in order to give them the best chance of getting through if they beat Russia. As it turned out there was no need to worry. At half time, Belgians had not found a way past the determined Finland defence as yet and Denmark were winning 1-0 in Copenhagen, courtesy of a nice goal by Damsgaard, who curled a shot into somewhere near the top corner from the edge of the box. Don’t really know what the young Russian goalkeeper was at that point.
The first goal in the second halves, was the Danes going 2-0 up when an absolutely shocking back pass presented Poulson with an open goal and then there was a massive cheer in Copenhagen as Lukaku scored for Belgium. The fact that it went to VAR was lost on everybody and a couple of minutes later, that goal got disallowed at exactly the same time that Vestergaard went near a Russian forward who fell over to win a penalty which was dispatched by Dzyuba. In the space of about 15 seconds it was threatening to go to shit for Denmark but they got back into their stride and punished a poor Russian side. The goalkeeper made a couple of decent saves in quick succession but the ball ran out to Andreas Christensen 35 yards out and he just lashed it first time into the net and it was finished off by one of those attacking fullbacks that Gareth Southgate thinks England don’t need, Joakim Maeler scored the fourth on the break.
You have to be a heart of stone to not to be delighted for Denmark because with Belgium eventually scoring a couple of goals, courtesy of an own goal and Lukaku, they managed to finish second with just the three points. Finland eventually finished third but with three points and a -2 goal difference, they are unlikely to be one of the less shit losers. The full house in Copenhagen was a sight to behold with fans crying and beer going everywhere. It was a reminder of how great football can be. Belgium will play one of the shit losers in the next round whereas Denmark are off to Amsterdam to play against the Welsh.
As a footnote, this result means that even if England get beaten by the Czech Republic tomorrow, they have qualified for the last 16. Well done Gareth. On the subject of England, two players I’ve had to self isolate because they came into contact with Billy Gilmour of Scotland who tested positive for COVID-19. His Chelsea team mates Mason Mount and Ben Chilwell won’t be playing for England for 10 days because they were in contact with Gilmour after the game. Mason Mount certainly wasn’t in contact with him during the game. This will give Gareth a decision to make with one of his favourites missing and my money is on Jordan Henderson being picked to replace him.
The "Draw at Wembley" Trophy Is Ours!!!
Anyhow, with Mount unavailable, Southgate had to change the team so it meant a start for Grealish and also surprisingly, a start for Saka, in place of Foden who was not in the match Day 23. England actually start the game really well, playing at a fast pace and looking to get on the front foot straight away. This is being led by Saka and Grealish. Sterling lobs the keeper and hits the post before we open the scoring after an excellent break by Saka up the right. The ball ends up with Grealish on the left, who takes on the full back and stands up a lovely cross for Sterling to head in at the back post. The rest of the first half was decent. The Czech’s had a few openings but Pickford was not seriously tested and at half time, some of the gloom around England had been lifted. I have to say that the inclusion of Maguire meant that there was at least some progressive passing out of the defence. In the course of the first half, they had been some cheering and laughter at Wembley and Scotland went behind two ago from Rebic but McGregor’s equaliser just before half-time meant that we still all to play for at Hampden in the second half. Scotland have scored a goal. This is not a drill.
Henderson came on at half-time to justify his selection for the original squad and for the first five minutes, started well. And then we reverted to normal. The last 40 minutes went back to being one of those performances where it feels like time stops, as England became turgid and crablike and uninspiring. Grealish and Saka were taken off, hopefully to be rested for the next game and Jaden Sancho got given eight minutes at the end of the game. This was eight minutes more than Dominic Calvert Lewin it was forced to spend another 90 minutes watching Kane lumber about with no success. Rashford came on as a sub as usual and once again showed nothing. Job done, clean sheet, dull as you like.
The two biggest cheers of the second half we are courtesy of Luka Modrić and Ivan Perisic. Modrić slamming in an exquisite go on the outside of his right boot from the edge of the box and Perisic flicking in a near post header from a corner into the net to enable Croatia to comfortably see off Scotland and take second place in the group. Scotland can console themselves with the “Didn’t lose to England” trophy.
Over the course of England’s three group games, we have played well for about 20 minutes to get to Croatia in about 50 minutes today (if you are being charitable). The step up in the level of opposition in our next game is going to be absolutely huge and so far, we have not shown enough to remotely suggest that we will be able to compete. We will be hard to beat and it may well go to extra time and penalties but that shouldn’t be what this team is about. We have no discernible pattern of play and are just relying on individuals for individually brilliant moments. Grealish and Saka both deserve to keep their places, ahead of Foden and Mount (if he’s available) so let’s hope that they and that Sterling continues his knack of knowing where the ball is going to drop 3 yards out and that Kane actually wakes up. Sterling and Kane have both been poor across the three games but Sterling’s two goals have glossed over that in his case somewhat. Am I going to go on about our set pieces again? Yes I am.
They were uniformly dreadful with it being like a tombola to see who had a go at putting in the next delivery. You wonder how many will be competent at taking a penalty. Different skill I know but it does make you wonder.
Yeah, That's a Foul
The main
interest in group E for the neutral, was wondering if Spain were going to go
out having drawn their first two games. They were up against Slovakia, with
Sweden playing Poland. In that game, Sweden were already through and Poland had
to win. All you need to say about the Spanish game was that they went one up
when Martin Dubravka turned to face his own goal and tried to punch the ball
over the bar but instead just punched in the net for one of the worst
goalkeeper own goals you could ever really wish to see. In the 70s there was a goalkeeper called Gary
Sprake, who threw the ball in his own net which was largely believed to be the
worst keeper error of all time but this is pretty close to that. After that,
Slovakia played like they’re really couldn’t be arsed and got pumped 5-0. If
they had kept it to 1-0, then they would possibly have sneaked through as one
of the slightly less shit 3rd place teams, but no. Sweden and Poland was a classic with Sweden
taking the lead through Forsberg after two minutes. Poland virtually from that
moment on, threw the sink at it and really should’ve equalised before half time
when Lewandowski managed to hit the bar twice in the same move. The second-half
saw Sweden and Forsberg score early again and now Poland really threw the sink
at it. Lewandowski cut in from the left and curled the ball over Olsson to make
it 2-1 and then found himself all alone in the middle of the penalty area to
equalise. Poland really deserved it to
go their way but eventually, as we reached the 91st minute, they over-committed
and Sweden worked it well for Claessen to make it 3-2 and send Poland home.
Sweden, despite being a horribly dull team have won the group with Spain in
second which shakes up the knockout round because Spain will now be in the
other half of the draw and Sweden will be in with England.
The Group
of Death at France against Portugal and Germany against Hungary. With Germany playing
at home, they were expected to beat the Hungarians pretty comfortably but went
1-0 down through Sallai and for a while, the ‘As It Stands’ table was showing
Germany finishing fourth and going out - surely this is too much to hope for.
The France v Portugal game was turning into a bit of a classic with Portugal
taking the lead with a Ronaldo penalty and then Benzema equalising, also from
the spot when a ridiculous decision got given in favour of them Mbappe who has
clearly been playing with Neymar too long as he threw himself to the ground. It was 1-1 at half time and the Germans were
still losing, meaning that at the moment, England are playing Hungary in the
next round. France took the lead through Benzema and Ronaldo equalised with
another penalty (this time for Lloris going for a punch and connecting with a
Portuguese head) but it became clear that the other game was far more
interesting.
The Germans eventually equalised when the Hungarian goalkeeper had an absolute
fucking shocker and came rushing out for a cross he was never going to get.
This ended with Hummels heading the ball towards goal and Havertz bundling it
in from on the goal line. Straight from the kick-off though, a long ball
forward and Hungary were back in front. 10 minutes stood between the Germans
going out. It was going to be beautiful. It was going to be hilarious but
ultimately, it didn’t fucking happen because Goretska fired one in from the
edge of the box which deflected past the goalkeeper. There was to be no
Hungarian miracle and so with both games ultimately ending to all, France won
the group, Germany came second and Portugal went through fairly comfortably in
third place.
Thus endeth
the Group Stages.
The two halves of the draw are really lopsided now. In one half, you have
Italy, Belgium, France and Portugal of the big hitters, whilst in the other
half, you have the Netherlands, Germany and England – Netherlands haven’t played
anyone good yet but at least looked good, Germany have had one good performance
out of three and England haven’t played anyone any good but still looked very
average. From an England point of view,
it’s hard not to look ahead - England have Germany at Wembley in the round of
16, followed by a Quarter-final against either Sweden or Ukraine and the other
four teams England could meet in the semi-final are Netherlands, Denmark, Wales
or the Czech Republic.
One game at a time though so, can we get past the Germans. I’m expecting a back 5 and two holding
midfielders from Southgate and I’m expecting a lot of arse fingering and ball
juggling from Low… If his team turn up
like they did against Portugal then they’ll probably beat us. If not then we may well see penalties or at
best, a 1-0 England win.
Quarter Final predictions are:
Wales 1 Denmark 2
Italy 3 Austria 0
Netherlands 2 Czech Republic 0
Belgium 2 Portugal 2 (Portugal win on penalties)
Croatia 1 Spain 1 (Croatia win on penalties)
France 3 Switzerland 0
England 1 Germany 0 (aet)
Sweden 2 Ukraine 1
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