Premier League Match 25 - Leeds United 3 Southampton 0

 

Andre the Giant Realises That he's Not a Giant After All

Due to the Shrewsbury cup game getting postponed, we haven’t played against Leeds yet this season but the time is come to take them on at Elland Road and as we all know, the best time to go to Elland Road is when there are no Leeds fans in it. I’m only half joking.

Leeds are of course managed by Marcelo Bielsa who is held up by managers like Pep Guardiola and Mauricio Pochettino as being one of the legends of the game and someone they aspire to be like. He does seem to be overpraised in some quarters and that provokes a bemused reaction in a lot of people.  I always say you can only judge your manager by how well he does with the resources that he’s got at his disposal. Leeds are having the season that they are having with a lot of the players that were with them in the Championship. Bielsa has got Patrick Bamford looking like a proper Premier League striker which is a miracle in itself. Also, Leeds are in their first season in the top flight and Bielsa has looked at the squad of players that he’s got available and obviously thought “well we can’t grind out results because the players that I have I’m not good enough for that so we’re just going to fucking go for it“. I expect he thought this in Spanish however.

I love the fact that they dare to be different. Why shouldn’t they go against the establish norm?  Why does every newly promoted side have to and try and bore their way to safety in their first season in the top flight?  I know that Leeds are a huge club but they’ve been crap for the last 20 years and have been pissing around in the Championship and League 1 so he’s going to achieve his target of staying up and he’s going to do it by playing entertaining football. Who would you rather watch? Leeds or West Brom under Allardyce.

Thinking of the ex-England manager makes me think of the current one. If Bielsa was in charge of the current England squad he would look at the players and realise that all our good players are in the attacking half of the pitch so he’d just fucking go for it, as opposed to Gareth Southgate who will play his 7-0-3 formation and bore the shit out of us, with us no doubt going out on penalties after a 0-0 draw in the Quarter Final.

On paper it does seem to be a good time to play Leeds because they have had a couple of injuries to important players and they have seem to be running on empty a bit for the last few weeks, much like ourselves with the high energy style of football taking its toll as you would expect for the game every three days.

Not gonna lie… there’s a bit of a ‘What the fuck?’ moment when the team news comes in and Ings, Minamino and Djenepo are all out with Adams, Armstrong and Tella selected.  It’s a full debut for Tella so more trees – hurrah!  Spot the goal threat in the starting line-up… Adams and Redmond up front.  To be fair, we moan when players looked knackered and we have a few more fit now and this is our second game in 4 days so I guess the plan is to win the game in the 2^nd half with the subs.

There is an early chance of five minutes gone as the very clumsy looking Cooper bundles over Adams on the right wing. Much has been made at the start of the game of Leeds vulnerability to set pieces so this is a really good chance and JWP crosses it, Vestergaard gets himself free, meets it and we are all waiting for the net to bulge as it goes wide. Really should’ve scored there.

Already we are seeing that the pitch is a fucking joke and it just keeps giving way under players feet and it looks like a shit version of Celebrity Ice Skating. The right back area of the Leeds half is ridiculous.  Redmond runs at the Leeds defence but slips over and loses the ball.  Leeds then lose the ball twice in quick succession as players try and stand up and Romeu finds Nathan Tella who runs direct at goal, swerving past Cooper as if he wasn’t there and the whole thing opens up and he hits it straight to the Leeds keeper Meslier, who looks about 14. This Leeds defence is absolute shit but we’ve had two chances and not taken either of them.

Leeds have started to cause a few problems with Raphinha swapping wings with Harrison to cause problems wherever.  He dances past Salisu who dives in but more by luck than judgement, doesn’t make contact and we get away with it as he cuts it back to the edge of the box to where Tyler Roberts launches it into orbit.

It’s a good end to end game now and Vestergaard picks up the ball from Redmond in the middle of the pitch and pings a lovely ball over the top to wear Bertrand is untracked and suddenly he’s clean through on goal but no one gets too excited because you know that it’s hit his arm and he hits it straight at the goalkeeper anyway.

It’s still mostly Saints and JWP intercepts a ball in midfield from Ayling and Tella gets to run at Llorente, Leeds new centre back. Tella leaves him for dead and goes crashing to the ground and Andre Marriner gives a penalty. At fucking last. They then start to show replays of course and you can see straight away that is not as clear-cut as we thought and so we’re off to the VAR room again. On VAR today we have Kevin Friend.

“Hi Kev – can you check the penalty, looks like a foul”
“Do you know my nickname Andre?”
“No Kev I don’t”
“They call me ‘Kevin Friend of the Big Six’”
“They call me ‘Andre the Fucking Giant’ Kev”
“Say no more – I know I’m Friend of the Big Six but Leeds are bigger than Saints so I’ll put it on screen for you to look at”
“OK Kev… I’ll purposely stride over like a colossus… roll the clip”
“You’ve given it haven’t you”
“Yep”
“There’s contact there isn’t there?”
“Yep”
“So is it a clear an obvious error”
“Erm…. Might be”
“Would you change your mind if it was Bruno Fernandes who'd been fouled?”
“Nope”
“But it’s not is it, it’s some kid for Southampton”
“Fuck ‘em – free kick to Leeds”

And what a surprise, no penalty. So, after weeks of VAR just backing out the referees decisions or non-decisions, be they right or wrong, we now have one get completely overturned. Fucking great.  We compound this by trying to concede a goal as we win a free kick over on the left hand side and Bertrand under hits it and it’s headed away and one pass later and Raphinha is clean through and he is the only player and our half apart from McCarthy.  He heads towards goal tries to cut across to the middle and a fucking train appears, slides in and wins the ball with quite possibly the best timed to tackle that you will ever see. Even Kevin Bastard Friend can’t find a penalty on that one.  Take a bow Oriol Romeu.

As we approach half-time Armstrong has the ball in the centre of the pitch and gets fouled. JWP takes a quick one to Adams and it’s similar to the one at Manchester United where Adams has peeled off the side and no one is watching him and he sticks in the net and all our players around Andre Marriner because he’s blown his whistle just before the ball has hit the net saying that he didn’t blow his whistle for JWP to take the freekick. He’s showing all the players the whistle to show that he is in charge. Fuck off.  Quick free kicks are usually allowed but not today.

Ralph is clearly not happy at half time.  Bottom line though is that it’s two correct decisions but as I’ve said, usually we only get wrong decisions.  No changes in personnel at half time and we start the second half well with Adams showing good strength by the goal line and laying it back to Redmond who creams it straight at the keeper.

And then it happens as Helder Costa picks up the ball in the centre of midfield and has time to pass it between Romeu and Armstrong and also in between Vestergaard and Bednarek, direct to Bamford who still has a lot to do but he takes it first time as Vestergaard comes across and it’s through his legs and into the far corner. For fucks sake.

Leads have swap Raphinha back over to Bednarek’s wing and it’s beginning to look horrible as he leaves the out of position centre back for dead before crossing to the edge of the box and Tyler Roberts puts another one wide that he really should’ve scored.  Then Dallas has a run down the same wing and he decides to cut across the edge of the penalty area with no one get in tackle in and manages to lay into the path of Bamford who has a clear shot but luckily he smashes it straight to McCarthy who makes a decent save and makes another one from the follow-up. We are clearly not bothering with defending in the second half. It’s a novel tactic to use as a Plan B but I don’t think it’s going to work particularly well.

Still, we persist with another chance stemming from Salisu giving the ball away and it goes from Bamford to Alioski to Raphinha And his pull back is met in the middle by Bamford and McCarthy has to do more heroics this time with his feet to keep the score at 1-0.

Thanks to Alex, we are still in this game. Ings and Minamino have come on for Tella and Redmond and we go close with JWP’s corner from the right hand side been thumped goalwards by the head of Vestergaard and Bamford is in front of Meslier to smash it over the bar.   Twenty to go and trouble is afoot, namely Oriol Romeu’s foot and he’s gone down and you know that if Ori stays down then it’s serious and he is going to have to be substituted.  I’m looking at Ralph thinking “don’t you dare… “, but he does and brings on Djenepo which means Armstrong going back to the centre of midfield. Might as well switch the TV off now because it’s before the 9pm watershed we’re going to get fucked.

Sure enough about five minutes later in an attack down our left hand side see Costa advance unchallenged, play it across to Dallas on the edge of the ‘D’ and he takes a touch invoking his inner child on the playground and toe punts it into the net past McCarthy to make it 2-0, game over.

Look at Our Midfield Chasing him Back.

Our token effort at getting back into the game extends to Bednarek looking very awkward down the right wing and with the subtlety of a natural full back, he smashes the ball across which nearly kills Adams as it hits him in the chest and bounces to Meslier.   He bowls it out and Costa is running at the Saints defence, halted only by a crude challenge by Djenepo which earns him a yellow card. Well he has taken Romeu’s place after all. The freekick is about 25 yards out and up steps Raphinha and puts it in the corner. JWP doesn’t cover himself in glory in the wall by ducking under it that meant that McCarthy didn’t see it until late which made his job all the more difficult.  Even so, he will probably feel that he should’ve saved it. We’ve fucking done it again and completely caved in.

Pathetic gutless wankers.

Well here we are again. Once more we have felt aggrieved at refereeing decisions and then completely given up. That’s not the full story but that’s part of it.

To summarise: Leeds were shit in the first half and we didn’t score.  We were shit in the 2^nd half and they scored 3.

We started really well when Leeds were poor and should’ve been 2-0 up with Vestergaard missing a header he really should’ve got on target and Nathan Tella blasting straight at the goalkeeper when clean through. We then had the Tella penalty incident which I think we can all guess, would never have been overturned in a million years if it was Manchester United or one of the other big boys. The referee has given it and there is contact. Personally, I don’t think it’s a penalty and the right decision was reached. Fuck the right decision though. We don’t seem to get the right decision until it’s against us. Then we had a free-kick incident just before half-time when again, technically, Andre Marriner is correct but you are allowed to take a quick free-kick anywhere else on the pitch and it’s absolutely fine. Where is the line?

As soon as we came out in the second-half we didn’t seem to have any interest in defending properly and that led to the first goal where we didn’t seem to sense any danger. Even Vestergaard at the last didn’t seem to realise that Bamford was about to shoot.  What happened after that hinged on a shit substitution by Ralph. Romeu going down injured with 20 minutes to go is not ideal but it was only 1-0 at that time so stay in the fucking game. Alex Jankewitz is on the bench and even Jack Stephens in midfield would’ve been a better option. Moussa Djenepo on and Stuart Armstrong to number 6 was always going to be a disaster because Stuart Armstrong is an absolute disaster as a number 6.  When did we try it last? Oh yes, the last time we tried it was in a 9-0 defeat.  Watch the replay of the second goal from behind the goal - Dallas scores and you can just about see Armstrong coming into shot. It’s not Armstrong‘s fault, as that is not his position in the same way that Bednarek isn’t a fucking right back but he’s having to play there following the absolute dereliction of duty that was the January transfer window.

The second goal summed us up. Minamino had the ball in a good crossing position with players in the box (one of whom was Armstrong who as a number 6, shouldn’t have been there) and he just crosses it aimlessly to fucking no one. Leeds break on us, pass, pass, pass, goal. Dog shit. The third goal was just the brown icing on a very shit cake.

I’ve seen people saying that the pitch was shit and that Leeds were more used to it than we were but that just comes down to in-game intelligence. Patrick Bamford (who irritated me by being a really nice, well spoken, intelligent bloke, who I wanted to hate) talked at the end of the game about how Leeds decided that they were getting themselves into trouble in the first half because of the pitch so they played it longer from about the half hour mark onwards. They adapted – maybe it was via Bielsa but it sounded like they worked it out themselves.  I’m increasingly comikng to the opinion that Saints are very well drilled and know what to do until they have to start thinking for themselves and thinking on their feet when we don’t have any fucking answers. Mind you, the best tactics in the world don’t come into it if the players have no heart and we have a few out there who certainly seem to have no heart and we have quite a few out there showing questionable amounts of ability at the moment.

As said, the main problem in this game was that we didn’t score in the 30 minutes when Leeds were poor and we didn’t really look likely to score.   Ralph maybe thought we could win the game with Ings and Minamino in the second half but we had no goal threat on the pitch to take advantage of Leeds being shite in the first half.  As far as I remember, Nathan Tella was the only forward player to get a shot on target. Nathan Redmond was shite again when it came to the business end of the pitch which is the bit that matters when you’re a striker and didn’t look remotely like scoring or creating anything.  I loved the way he looked absolutely gutted when he came off, like he felt like he’s done ok.

Every defender in the Premier League knows that Che Adams only has one foot.  His left foot is only there to stop him walking round in fucking circles. He works hard and he bullies defenders but the fanciful notion I had that he would score more than 10 goals this season, is looking decidedly misplaced.

Minamino - well we know you can finish but can you do anything else? Aside from the goal which was a brilliant finish, he was shite against Chelsea and he was shite again today when he came on, barely completing a pass.  Play him as a striker or nothing.

Nathan Tella was good – him on one wing and Armstrong on the other is the way to go.

Defensively, in the second-half we were fucking awful because the midfield and the wide players weren’t offering much protection. Bednarek got completely violated by Raphinha in the second half and I said earlier, that comes down to us trying to go through the whole season with just one right back. On the other side, Bertrand looked very half paced in the second half especially and Vestergaard and Salisu were just exposed.

Ralph’s interview after the game was interesting in that he said we gave up. That could be down to the manager having lost the players but I don’t buy that – if that was the case we would be terrible from the start of every game.  I think it’s more from the weak mentality of the players. He also made a valid point about Leeds having better 1 v 1 ability than us and this is true, also meaning that we had to play as a compact team when defending, which we clearly didn’t do in the second half.  This is partly on the players for not following instructions but also partly on that substitution, which as I said, absolutely killed us. 

Big decision time coming up for Ralph because if Romeu is out for the next game against Everton, with Diallo still out I assume, he has to find another central midfielder and if he picks Armstrong there, we might as well not even bother turning up.  I guess we’ll all be praying that Alex Jankewitz lasts longer than last time – maybe he could have done with the last 20 minutes today.

Are we all looking over our shoulders yet?  Well we should be.  They way we are playing at the moment doesn’t look like getting us any points any time soon.  Fulham, who are 3^rd from bottom are 8 points behind us.

Premier League Match 24 - Southampton 1 Chelsea 1

Sit Down You Two Whilst I Casually Put This In With The Outside of my Boot.

When we played Chelsea the last time around, Frank Lampard was still a bright young thing on the managerial scene and was going to return Chelsea to their former glories.  How did that one work out for you then boys? To be fair, I was absolutely delighted when Saints got a point at Chelsea earlier on in the season courtesy of a last-minute goal by Jannik Vestergaard and that seemed to be the signal to us that we could go anywhere and get a result. How we wish for those times to return again.
 
Chelsea have changed of course with Lampard being sacked and been replaced by Thomas Tuchel, who had previously just been sacked by PSG in France, who have now been taken over by ex-Saints manager Mauricio Pochettino, who took on ex-Saints manager Ronald Koeman and Barcelona in the Champions League this week. As you all know, Mauricio came out on top.  When the possibility of Lampard being sacked was first mentioned, there was almost this narrative of “surely they couldn’t sack Chelsea legend Frank Lampard”.  That attitude was almost assuming that Chelsea in some small way have any class.  To be fair, they are ruthless – if you are not achieving your targets in any way possible then you are out – regardless of who you are.

Tuchel has arrived at Chelsea and has done very well, albeit with a kind opening fixture list, in the main through having a system and picking the best players for it, rather than trying to cram everybody in who had just been signed. Tuchel seems to recognise that they have signed players that are either not suitable for the English game or are not as good as they were hoped to be. Regardless, there are still some surprising names on the list of players have and have not been involved much under the new manager.  The likes of Marcos Alonso and Callum Hudson-Odoi have suddenly become more involved and if Fat Frank was still in charge, then you wouldn’t see much of those two. Tuchel has even got Timo Werner scoring a goal, the only surprise with that is that he didn’t wait until he played us in order to do it. 

So, it’s another bloody hard game against one of the traditional big six. If we break our run of six straight league defeats today, then it is certainly going to be hard work and it’s certainly not going to be achieved if we respond to any adversity by chucking the towel in. It’s not adversity like conceding a goal that seems to affect us, it’s when things happen that seem unfair, like getting a shit decision off the referee. The boys have just got to learn to get on with it and you cannot, at any level of football, afford to let your head go down. Ralph is always talking about it and everyone connected with Southampton knows, that Saints only get to win games of football in the Premier League if everybody is on it for the entire duration of the game.

There are more problems before we start of course with KWP being injured again so it will be interesting to see what the right back tombola throws up for this particular game. My money is on Jack Stephens training at right back a week and he will hopefully be better prepared if he gets the nod, than he was at Newcastle a couple of weeks ago when he looked about as comfortable as a fish riding a bicycle.

Team news and either we are playing 3 at the back with Djenepo at right wing back or it’s a flat 4 with Bednarek at right back.  Either way it’s worrying.  Salisu is in from the start and fuck, Stuart Armstrong is missing.  That’s not good.  Another sigh as I notice that Redmond is preferred to Adams again so it clearly wasn’t just a tactical thing for Wolves.  Chelsea have left Giroud out and picked Abraham – this makes me happy.  Werner will no doubt remember that he’s a striker today.

As the game starts it’s clear we have gone with a back 3 and instead of flying into he game like we usually do, we seem to be on the back foot as Chelsea get hold of the ball.  The first action of any note sees Skate Mount free Reece James on our left and his cross to the back stick is met on the volley by Marcos Alonso and he volleys back across the goal and wide.  The worrying thing though was how much space he had with everyone looking at each other.

It gets all cagey after that with not a lot happening.  We are defending ok and not letting them get anywhere near our goal but we are struggling to get out of our half.  Chelsea are pressing well and we lose the ball every time we try with JWP, Romeu, Minamino and Redmond all guilty.  Despite having all the ball, Chelsea are doing sweet fuck all with it and Tuchel is going nuts in the technical area.  In response, Rudiger tries a shot from 40 yards with the whole Chelsea team bar the keeper in front of him.  I bet Thomas was delighted.

Any headway Chelsea are making is down our right and we have definitely gone to a flat back 4 now though it only seems to be on the right hand side of the pitch or maybe, no one could make themselves heard or understood by Minamino.  Anyway, half hour approaches and a stat comes on the TV to say that we’ve had zero touches in their penalty area and if they did a stat for touches in Chelsea’s half, we’d have about two. 

Sometimes it doesn’t matter though as football breaks out, Redmond swaps passes with Romeu and finds time to play a ball through a gap as wide as the M3 and Minamino is clean through, a body feint and Azpilicueta and Mendy are left on their arses and Takumi casually flicks it into the net with the outside of his right boot.  It’s amazing in so many respects, mainly that Redmond and Minamino, two players who haven’t kicked the ball in the right direction all game between them, have combined to score a brilliant goal and give us a 1-0 lead from our first attack.  Bizarre

The expected Chelsea onslaught doesn’t really happen as we dig in well.  Romeu knocks Werner off balance and the German then clatters into Djenepo, studs on shin.  It’s not a red card because he’s been knocked off balance but it’s a bit questionable to say the least.  Nothing from the officials though except a Chelsea free kick.  Over it comes from Alonso and Zouma looks offside as he tries to beat the high line and heads it goalward and McCarthy makes a decent save at the post to shovel it away.  The replay then shows that he was clearly offside so if it had gone in then it would have, I assume been disallowed…. But Chelsea get a corner anyway.  Fuck knows what’s going on these days.

Djenepo is in the wars again as we approach half time and this time he slides in, wins the ball off Kante who leaves his foot in and smashes his studs into Moussa’s shin.  There’s a break whilst he gets treated and I’m expected a nod from VAR to tell the ref that that was a shit tackle and he needs to have a look at it but again, nothing. 

Abraham runs into Salisu.  Loses

Upon restarting there’s a great moment as Abraham, all seven foot of him, runs into Salisu and crumples like he’s been hit by a train.  I’m watching on NBC and it’s basically Chelsea Fan TV with Andy Townshend.  “Is it a penalty?” says Andy – fuck off Andy!

Tuchel has seen enough of Tammy so he’s off at half time to be replaced by Callum Hudson-Odoi which will certainly make them a bit livelier up top.  Again, I’m please that Giroud is still on the bench.  Chelsea have upped it at the start of the second half and Werner takes on Vestergaard who shepherds him towards the goal line and Werner tries a really shit effort into the side netting.

It’s a bit like the Wolves league game last week in that Chelsea haven’t looked like scoring but then, like Wolves, they get a penalty.  Unlike Wolves, this is nailed on as they take a quick corner on our left, Hudson-Odoi finds Mount in the penalty area and Danny Ings carts him up in the air with a “fucking have that you Skate Bastard”.  Sadly, I’ve made the second bit up but not the first and it’s a clear penalty.  The VAR transcript was quite short...

"Hi Stu, any doubt that that was a penalty"
"Abso-fucking-lutely none"

Mount to take it and of course he’s gonna score… and McCarthy goes the wrong way for the 53^rd penalty in a row. 1-1. Shit.  Andy Townshend tugs himself off.

What’s our response?  It’s decent and we have a few minutes in Chelsea’s half putting them under pressure – Kovacic gets a bit casual and needlessly passes the ball out for a corner.  JWP’s kick ends up over the left side with Redmond and he crosses back in and it flicks off of someone and Vestergaard improvises a stooped cushion header up and over everyone and it pings off the bar, with Ings speculatively volleying the rebound wide.

Tuchel then shows how tough he is by making a couple of subs and taking off Hudson-Odoi who he only sent on at half time – Ziyech is on in his place.  Jorginho is also on for Kovacic and Andy Townshend is in full Chelsea wanking frenzy about whether Hudson-Odoi is limping and it takes a good couple of minutes before anyone points out that Nathan Tella has come on for Minamino.

Into the last ten and we’re settling for a draw here.  More energy is introduced with Adams and N’Lundulu coming on for Ings and Redmond but our main problem is Mason Mount.  He’s Chelsea’s best player by a mile and he weaves between Djenepo and Bednarek before chipping to the back post and James volleys wastefully over the bar.  Thank fuck for that.

A point, a point, my kingdom for a point. Yes, we will take that, thank you very much. Not only have we avoided our usual Chelsea home defeat, we have stopped the losing run at six and have reached the 30 point barrier so happy days. It wasn’t pretty but it was effective and we have to be happy with that.

Defensively today, we were pretty much faultless, restricting Chelsea to just the one real on-target shot which was a penalty of course, given away with the classic forwards tackle by Danny Ings. Fair play to him for even being back there to make the challenge but it was a silly one.

I think that today conclusively proved that we are not as bad as the bedwetters would have you believe. There are still problems, oh my word there are still problems… but today we showed a willingness to dig in and tough it out which is not been there in recent weeks and I think we answered any questions about attitude that were beginning to surface.

Just for his willingness to do a side of the game which doesn’t come naturally for him, Moussa Djenepo was excellent today. Not only did he put tackles in and show a level of defensive discipline, he also got clattered two or three times and challenges that would’ve normally left him hobbling off, but today he showed on determination to stay on the pitch and complete the 95 minutes.  He certainly wasn’t the man made of biscuits today. Not only did he do his defensive work, he also was the only one in the starting line-up who was willing to take a player on and at least look like he might beat a man.

Tactically we switched things around today if only for a little bit, starting with three at the back and then swapping to a flat back four. When we played with a four, Jan Bednarek look a distinctly uncomfortable right back as you’d expect and occasionally got marooned far too far forward and but the defending of Vestergaard and Salisu who made up for this. That’s how a team is supposed to work by the way.  There’s an interesting problem coming Ralph’s way at some point and it’s a good one.  If we play a flat back four and KWP is available, who partners Vestergaard?  Bednarek has done nothing wrong and is more experienced but Salisu is quicker and naturally left footed.  In top level sport, you pick whatever you think is best for any particular game.

JWP and Romeu seemed to spend the whole game concentrating on the defensive side and that’s fine today but they do need to get more progressive when we have the ball in future games.  In the first half in particular we were struggling to get out of our half before we lost it, in the face of Chelsea playing us at our own game and pressing us.

Further forward we were generally poor with all three of Redmond, Minimino and Ings struggling to hold the ball at all or complete any sort of pass to a player in a red shirt, especially in the Chelsea half. The first two, in particular, were absolutely dreadful in the first half but then out of nowhere, combined to score a superb goal. Okay, the Chelsea defence obligingly parted but it was a well weighted through ball by Redmond and a wonderfully composed finish by Minamino.  Sitting a defender and the goalkeeper on their arses and calmly stroking it home with the outside of your boot is quality.  Minamino has added a goal threat and we needed that but it comes at the expense of work against the ball and also at the expense of keeping the ball.

If you’re a fan of Chelsea and objective then you couldn’t of been anything but disappointed with how they played. For all the players that they’ve spent millions in signing, their best player by a mile is Mason Mount and he was the only one who really caused us any problems. He was brought down for the penalty, he scored the penalty, he created every worthwhile opening and was the only one doing anything remotely threatening around the penalty area. Thomas Tuchel came across as a bit of a bell end during the game, repeatedly throwing tantrums on the sideline but it’s not his fault, it’s the fault whoever signed off on the recruitment of players like Werner and Ziyech.

Also, I go on about this every time we play Chelsea but since Yaya Toure retired, Ngolo Kante has taken over his ‘Cloak of Invisibilty’.  Seems to foul constantly in every game I see him play but rarely gets booked for all the ‘little’ fouls.  Referee’s also miss his ‘big’ fouls as well, like the one today when he went studs up on Djenepo.  VAR was Stuart Atwell so no surprised it was missed there and today’s ref Anthony Taylor missed it as well.  Guaranteed that if that’s us, it’s a red card but for Kante, not even a yellow.

Having had a couple of bad days recently, today was a good day for Ralph. We weren’t quite so hell for leather at the start and concentrated on defending properly, which helped us see out the end of the game more comfortably.  Also of course, having six days to prepare was key.  Did we see some tactical flexibility as well?  We have played 4-2-2-2 ever since the big reset post-Leicester and in order to evolve as a team, we do need to learn how to tweak it occasionally.  The only slight criticism is that Nathan Tella should possibly have come on earlier. He is actually willing to take players on and he will stick a shoulder in to put a defender off if needs be.  Too often today, our forward players just let defenders have a free ride, shielding the ball off for a goal kick etc.

So, the rot is stopped and it would be rather splendid if we could take that and get our first win since the Liverpool game, on Tuesday against Leeds.  They play in a similar high energy style to us and have been hitting the buffers recently and looking tired.  Should be a good game on Tuesday.

Today was a good day, up the fucking Saints.

Premier League Match 23 - Southampton 1 Wolves 2

 

It all Started So Well...

Here we are again for another dance with Wolves, just a few days after the last one.

I was taken aback by some of the reaction from Wolves fans about the FA Cup defeat that they suffered. Sure I expected them to be disappointed with the team selection and the apparent prioritisation of a mid-table league game but I was not expecting to see so many calling for the managers head and the like. There was a somewhat surprising sense of entitlement within the fanbase of a club who have had a couple of good seasons but have been predominantly shite for the last 30 years. With the whole Jorge Mendes Super Agent situation, you could argue that the whole thing is built on sand anyway as it cannot be a healthy long-term strategy to be completely reliant on one agent. I would suggest that the Nuno/Mendes axis is what makes the world go round up there so it will be very interesting to see what happened if Nuno did indeed move on.

Anyway, he’s here today and like Arteta a few weeks ago, has a point to prove after a cup exit.  We came through the Cup game, not only with a win but with a clean bill of health going into this game so it should be a strong team selection and it is with McCarthyy holding off Fraser for the goalkeeper shirt, Vestergaard returning in place of Salisu and Minamino restored to the left in place of Djenepo.  It’ll be an interesting test of Minamino’s defensive work because apparently, the main reason Liverpool and Klopp are unconvinced by him, is his work rate off the ball.  Adama Traore is down his side today, with Neto and Willian Jose making up a new front line from what they had in the Cup.  Conor Coady is of course back as well, as is Rui Patricio.

Wolves immediately look better than they did on Thursday and win an early free-kick on the left hand side which Neves swings in and Willian Jose heads miles over the bar from an offside position.  Both sides are pressing so there’s not a lot happening but Saints do manage to work their way upfield when Vestergaard plays in to Minamino and a flick by him and one by Ings and Redmond is running into all sort of space.  He waits for Minamino to catch up and plays it into his path but the scuffed left footed effort is easily saved by Patricio. We don’t get a corner because for some reason, an offside is given in the middle of the pitch and that’s an absolute fucking mystery.

Minamino again produces a lovely touch in midfield to send Armstrong away and then Redmond and Ings are breaking.  Redmond has the ball and fucks up the pass to Ings and puts it behind him.  Danny checks and jinks across the box before teeing up Redmond again and his attempted curler into the far bottom corner is very well saved by Patricio.

Saints are in command now and Wolves aren’t producing anything up front.  Armstrong charges past Semedo on the left, gets to the goal line, looks up, crosses it left-footed and Danny Ings absolutely smashes it into the net on the volley. Brilliant goal and I’m looking all over the place to see if there’s some way that it’s going to be disallowed – such is the way of things these days.

Half time is reached and we have now had three halves of football against Wolves where they’ve done nothing.  There is no way Nuno is going to send them out without a rocket up their arse so we have to be ready for that.  As they line up to start the second half, it’s clear that Neto and Traore have swapped wings.

Wolves look better straight away and are playing with more intensity.  It takes all of 5 minutes to change the game as Traore picks it up and turns infield.  Romeu can’t bin him because he’s been booked already and so Traore bundles across the aprk and plays it to Semodo on the right.  He takes a potshot which hit Bertrand from close range and goes for a corner.  Hnag on, Graham Scott has pointed to the spot.  How the fuck has he given that – it’s been blasted at him.  The replay shows that Bertrand has turned his back with his left shoulder facing the ball and it’s hit his right arm.  How in the name of fuck is that handball?  Trouble is – unlike every other ref on defensive handballs, the fucking ref has given it so it’s not going to be overturned. 

“Scotty, it’s Martin Atkinson at Stockley Park…. Scotty, it’s Marty mate, come on”
“No need Marty mate I’ve given it – don’t need you”
“Hang on Scotty, all penalty calls have to go to VAR”
“Not when I’ve given it…  Big Mikey D told me that”
“Hang on Scotty mate – how was he supposed to get his hand out of the way?”
“I’ve given it mate”
“It was blasted at him from 5 yards for fuck sake”
“I’ve given it, I've given it, I've given it”
“How did you see that from where you were, it was the other side of him”
“Not listening, I’ve given it, fingers in my ears, nah-nah-ne-nah-nah”
"For fucks sake Scotty"

Is Neves going to miss?  Of course he fucking isn’t. 1-1.  Cheers Scotty you wanker.

..and then it all went to shit

Saints initially respond well with KWP playing in Redmond down the right.  He cuts it back to Armstrong who drills it goalwards but it hits Coady and goes for a corner.  We play the corner short and it eventually falls to Armstrong to chip it into the box towards Vestergaard. He misses it and the ball hits Dendoncker’s arm which is away from his body and he’s had plenty of time to see it but even though Graham Scott has a perfect view of it, that is not a penalty. Useless fucking wanker.  The game goes on and the VAR headset crackles into life again...

“Scotty, it’s Martin Atkinson again”
“Play on… I’ve not given it”
“But it’s hit Dendoncker on the arm”
“I know but I’ve not given it”
“But you gave the first one Scotty and this is more clear and obvious, you gotta be consistent”
“I’ve not given it, moving on Marty”
“And you were looking straight at this one and everything”
“I gave the first one, I’ve not given the second one, I’m being fair”
“Have you been talking to Mike again Scotty?”
"He got death threats from these Southern bastards"
"That was West Ham Scotty"
“Play on!”
“For Fucks sake Scotty”

Traore is starting to get on the ball now and we don’t know how to handle him. Same again and he weaves across and eventually the ball is worked out to Semedo on the right hand side again just like the move lead to the penalty but this time Vestergaard blocks it.  Wolves win the ball back and end up back with Neves who sets himself up with a volley straight at McCarthy. Another chance comes and goes after Bednarek trashes Neto over on the left wing. In comes the freekick and it’s Bednarek who makes up for giving away the free-kick by toe ending it away from onrushing Wolves players. We are living dangerously and the tide has completely turned in the 15 minutes since half time. The game seems to only be going one way at the moment and we need to do something about that.  Have we got anything though?

There’s a straight swap with Djenepo coming on for Minamino but then the inevitable happens.  Saints are on the ball through KWP but his ball forward gets headed back into the mix so where Jose picks it up and finds Neves. The ball goes out to Neto on the right hand side and he looks like he’s going to cut back in but he sends Vestergaard for hotdog, nips past him go outside and then bends it past McCarthy into the far side of the goal from a narrow angle. Brilliant goal but we have again contributed to our own downfall.

Adams comes on for Armstrong who has been comfortably our best player and then KWP goes down injured again which is a fucking disaster.  Looks like a hamstring so off he goes and Salisu is on and Ralph presses the ‘Random Formation’ button his remote and it’s a kind of 3-4-3 with Djenepo at right wing back against Traore.  Oh good.

On we randomly go and Ings works an opening on the left and his cross is blocked out to JWP who hits it, saved low by Patricio and Adams follows in, uses the right foot when he should’ve used the left and Patricio saves again. However of course he’s fucking offside so it wouldn’t have counted anyway.

In the ten minutes that remain we create one half chance as Traore gets crowded out in midfield, throws himself on the floor to try and win a free kick but nothing doing and Djenepo sends Redmond away on the right.  His cross is decent and aimed at Adams but he dives and produces a 50p head special and off for a goal kick. Has Che ever scored with his left foot or his head?  That’s all folks. 

That second-half was truly pathetic and almost as bad as it gets. Coming from the team that is lost two games 9-0, that’s really saying something. Wolves upped the tempo and we had absolutely no response whatsoever. Okay, the handball decision and the inconsistency showed later is absolute bullshit but even before the decision gets Bertrand you could see that Wolves had just taken over at the start of the second-half. It’s a common theme, Saints set up and play the way they do with high energy and a big emphasis on pressing but as soon as another team wrestles the initiative from us and it’s time for us to up the tempo, we have absolutely nothing, no Plan B and no game changers to bring off the bench.

The Amazon Prime coverage at the end of the game focused on the two handball decisions and basically, if Graham Scott is going to give the first penalty then the VAR has to give the second one but VAR clearly never communicated with Graham Scott other than to tell him that it wasn’t a penalty against Dendoncker. If Graham Scott had been asked to go and look at it then maybe he could’ve given the penalty because he gave the first one. It’s another example of the system being absolutely bollocks.  Dear old Scotty doesn’t get away with it though because he gave the penalty against Bertrand when he couldn’t have possibly seen it from the position he was in and he didn’t give the Dendoncker one when he was looking straight at it from 10 yards.

Ralph’s anger at the inconsistency was obvious and his post-match interview but I sense there was a bit of deflection going on there. He didn’t want to take any questions aside from about the Referee/VAR decisions.  I have a few other questions I’d like to ask….

1. You can’t argue with the fact that Wolves changed things up and got the upper hand and we did nothing. Why did we not respond by upping our tempo when Wolves changed things up?
2. Why did he take Armstrong off? This week has illustrated (again) that Stuart Armstrong is probably our most important player in regard to making the team tick, so I’d like to know why he was taken off today. Hopefully he was just feeling a little bit tight and it was precautionary because after he went off we did absolutely fuck all
3. Djenepo had already come on for Minamino who had faded badly in the second-half like he did last week – Nathan Tella, who had huge impact off the bench in midweek was left freezing his arse off in the stands.  Why was that? 
4. When KWP went down we brought on Salisu and went to a back 3 so we now had Djenepo playing at right wing back against Adama Traore.  KWP was playing his second game in 4 days after a long layoff so why wasn’t Kayne Ramsay on the bench?
5. Why are we like a long-distance runner who has one tactic, to sprint as hard as he can at the start of the race and maybe get to the finish line or maybe collapse in a big fucking heap? Why do we only have one way to win a game?
6. Why do we react so badly when anything goes against us and just collapse?  

We are led to believe that Ralph is the highest paid person at the club but however much a manager is paid, it’s their remit to know the answers to these questions. This is what top level management is all about - you are responsible when things go wrong. It’s an undeniable fact we’ve lost six games in a row, one of them by 9-0. It can’t all be circumstances beyond your control.  I’m not saying for a second that Ralph should be replaced (we couldn’t afford it even if we wanted to) but there is this narrative that he’s some kind of deity that can’t be challenged.  Bullshit.

The first half, though it seems so long ago, was excellent from us aside from the fact that we didn’t score more than one goal. Nathan Redmond did some very good things and some very bad things and Danny Ings looks like he’s getting back to his best. The goal was absolutely stunning with the brilliant run from Armstrong, awareness to look up and pick a player out, execute it with his wrong foot and the volley was sublime. The defence was comfortable in the first half and we didn’t let Wolves have a shot of any note. How quickly it all went to shit after half-time.

All that Wolves seem to do was play with more intensity and switch Neto and Adama over to the opposite flanks. The left-hand side of our team had been handling Adama with ease because you had Vestergaard who could stand up to the physicality and you had Bertrand who is a very clever player but the right hand side really struggled. We funnelled him into the middle, where he’s always going to go because he is totally right footed but then didn’t get near him and that was how the first goal came about. The second goal was a brilliant bit of skill by Neto and he showed the ability that he has.  Vestergaard totally bought that he was going to turn away from goal onto his left foot and lash it but though he kept it on his left foot, he managed to skip round the Saints man on the other side and smash it into the far corner of the net. Brilliant goal.  Our response – nothing much.

We have a week to find some answers and we’re going to have to do it without KWP who looks like he’s going to be out for a while with a hamstring injury.  That’s a problem because we didn’t sign a fucking right back in the window so KWP had to play 2 games in 4 days when coming back from injury.   I do hope we are not shoehorning Jack Stephens in to right back but I fear that is what is going to happen. Lose to Chelsea and it’s a seven-game losing run and the game after that is Leeds and then Everton at Goodison Park, where we have a diabolical record.

Football is fucking bollocks sometimes.

FA Cup 5th Round - Wolves 0 Southampton 2

We Love You VAR, We Do.

As luck would have it, following our Arsenal double header around the time of the 4th round of the FA Cup, we have a Wolves double header now the 5th round has come around.

Wolves have struggled to repeat last season’s heroics with the main reason being the loss of Raul Jimenez to a horrible injury of a fractured skull. In his absence, Wolves have tried a number of solutions upfront but have yet to find anyone who can hit the net regularly. They have compensated for this by making themselves incredibly miserly at the back so you would think the goals are going to be in short supply today, given our struggles in front of goal over the last few weeks. Pedro Neto has had a run in the side over the last few weeks and he looks like the fearless direct running winger that we could do with. Him on the left and Adama “Doesn’t do Weights” Traore on the right will ensure that our defence is kept on its toes. We had difficulty earlier on in the year with a midfield three of Neves, Moutinho and Dendoncker but hopefully Dendoncker is needed in defence tonight with Willy Boly being injured.

Saints are without Takumi Minamino who is cup tied but the photographs from training this week seem to be telling us that Stuart Armstrong, KWP and Mohammed Salisu will all be available. That old question of which game we should prioritise has come up again this week and the answer is, as always, “the next one“. Personally, I think we have three players who are looking a bit shellshocked at the moment after the trials and tribulations of last week so it wouldn’t be surprise to me to see McCarthy, Bednarek and Stephens all left out.

In the event, Bednarek plays, probably because Ralph didn’t fancy giving Vestergaard two games in a few days after returning from injury, but his partner was the man, the myth, the future legend, Mohammed Salisu. KWP is back, Armstrong is back and the only other ‘rested’ player is Che Adams, with somewhat surprisingly, Nathan Redmond starts up front.  I can’t see that working but there you have it.  Nuno has done an Arteta with the first choice front three of Neto, Willian Jose and Traore all in the bench. Up front they have the £40 million (cough) money laundering (cough, splutter) Fabio Silva... who is shite. Conor Coady has also been rested as Nuno prioritises a 12th place finish... strange…. They're not going down and not going to qualify for Europe either.  Maybe he’s on a bonus for every league position.

Away we go and it’s all us.  There is an early chance from a corner as Redmond takes a quick one to JWP and gets the ball back before bouncing a pass to Armstrong who manages through good technique, to hit a half decent effort on target and Ruddy blocks it and spills it.  it looks like Danny Ings may be able to backheel into the net but Ruddy falls on it.

Djenepo‘s cross is headed away and then back in by JWP and Ings produces a brilliant bit of skill to ball juggle it over Dendoncker and as he shapes to karate kick it at the goal, Roman Saiss ruins the moment by getting across to block.

Bertrand puts over a superb cross on the left hand side in between the defence and the goalkeeper and it ends up with Redmond at the back post and he makes a total fuck of it and just chips at straight to Ruddy from about 6 yards out.  We really should be ahead already but though we continue to be the better side, half time arrives with the score still level.  At the back, Salisu has been decent.  He got hurried up by the Wolves press a couple of times but managed to just about get the pass away whilst we all hid behind cushions watching on TV.

The second half starts with Saints carving out another glorious chance from another Bertrand cross and this time it’s Stuart Armstrong arriving in the middle of the goal, 6 yards out and he passes it wide of the post.  Fuck me – sitter!!! No wonder we don’t win many football matches at the moment.  It’s like we have a fucking allergy to white posts and netting.
 
Ten minutes later, unperturbed, Bertrand is at it again, sliding in a lovely ball inbetween the right back and right centre back for Ings to run onto.  Out comes Ruddy and blocks the initial shot but it pings back on to Danny Ings and rolls apologetically into the net. No one celebrates because the fucker with the flag has waved at straight away and off to VAR and Simon Hooper we go.

“Hi there Hoops, it’s Mossy – give me a chance to get my breath back man, I’m knackered”
“I’m checking the offside mate – what’s that noise?”
“That’s me blowing out of my arse Hoops”
“Looks tight to me Mossy… am getting the etch-a-sketch out”
“No worries mate – take your time, the twat stuck his flag up so no pressure”
“Onside Mossy mate, Kilman has played him on”
“Take your time dickhead, I’m knackered and hungry, look again”
“Big Mikey D told me to draw lines randomly through his arm and he’s still not offside”
“OK Hoops, gonna give the goal – might call you later when I’m knackered again.”

Fuck me, Jon Moss is only gone and given the goal - what a ref, always liked him.  It’s all a bit flat. A combination of no fans, VAR and the flag going up and all the bollocks that’s gone on the last few weeks means that hardly anyone celebrates.   Anyway, let’s get on with it.

Wolves are like a flatlining patient on a hospital bed and not showing any real signs of life.  Armstrong breaks superbly through midfield and slides a wonderful through ball through to put Redmond one-on-one with the keeper.  He chops past the last offender and… you know the rest, hits the goalkeeper and it’s disappointing and predictable in equal measure.  Good composure up until the important bit.  BT Sport show that replay of the manager as the move develops and Ralph gets more and more interested and animated and then…. Fucks sake despair.

Wolves have sent on Neto and Traore to try and spark themselves into life.  Traore has a run at Bertrand but he’s going nowhere – too predictable, all right foot.  The threat comes from the other side as Neves puts Neto away down the wing and he crosses it low, Salisu plays an air shot and Traore on right hand side manages to hit it goalwards Fraser sticks out a big size 15 to boot it away.

Nathan Tella is coming on for Saints in place of Djenepo, who knows he is about to be taken off so he does a runner over to the other side of the pitch and then walks back very very slowly. Top quality shithousing. Tella makes an immediate impact from the left he is looking very lively when Dendoncker tries to play it back to the keeper and Ruddy tries to give it straight back to him but I guess Ruddy is shit at the training ground rondo’s and succeeds in passing it straight to Tella. There is no route to goal as Ruddy has sprawled out at his feet but Tella turns round and knocks it back to Armstrong who takes a touch and then passes it beautifully into the far corner via the post whilst Saiss on the line weighs up whether he should punch the ball away or not. Thankfully he doesn’t and that’s 2-0. Game over

There are a couple of minutes to go in enough time for Tella to burst into the left hand side of the box and be turfed over. Moss gives a penalty but we’re going to VAR.

“Hi there Hoops – I’m knackered – got to blow the final whistle and I’m out of puff”
“Looks outside the box to me Mossy”
“Oh it definitely is mate, I just need a breather”
“How could you tell from the centre circle?”
“My missus got me some better contacts for Christmas”
“How long do you need Mossy? – you’re a legend”
“Minute or so will do – don’t let Big Mikey D hear you calling me that”
“Good point – he doesn’t like other referees being legends”
“Have you got any cake?”

No penalty, outside the box. JWP attempts to be a shithouse and move the ball into a position where he can shoot but eventually the angle is too narrow when it’s taken from the right place so we just play into the corner to eat up the last few seconds and through to the Quarter Final we go.

We won a game. Such as been our recent form you’re grateful to get over the line in any game but to be honest, this was a pretty comfortable win with Wolves offering next to no threat at all. I find it amazing that Nuno went full Arteta and has obviously prioritised the league game on Sunday rather than this one. Arteta probably just about earned a grudging reprieve from the Arsenal fans when they won the league game and now Nuno has got to do the same. However, even when Wolves brought on Ben Johnson and Neto in the second-half, Saints defended well and kept them reasonably quiet. You know what the deal is with the Adama. He is going to run headlong into the space and try and beat you on the outside before crossing it. He doesn’t want to cut in because he hasn’t got a left foot and you could tell that Ryan Bertrand had sussed that.  Bertie had a brilliant game at both ends of the pitch - setting up the first goal, the Armstrong sitter and the Redmond first half sitter and also, handling Adama well  It did mean that he had to put his body in the way on occasions and it was going to be like getting hit by a fucking runaway train but he did the job.  

Elsewhere for Wolves, who the fuck signed off spending £40 million on the 18-year-old Fabio Silva. He looked like the kid that no one liked at school.  Surely the Christ you only buy an 18-year-old for £40 million if you think that one day he is going to be worth more than that? I don’t often feel sorry for opposition players but I felt sorry for the lad as he looked completely out of his depth. Also, why do Wolves players roll around on the ground after every single challenge. I know it’s not uncommon for players in the Premier League to do that but it was every fucking one. The first half should’ve lasted about 55 minutes.

The returning KWP showed what a key player he is for us and dealt with the threat of Neto in the second-half really comfortably. Jan Bednarek was back to near his best and didn’t look like he was playing with shellshock, like he did against Newcastle at the weekend.  Whilst not the busiest, Fraser Forster kept yet another clean sheet and did the sweeper keeper thing well and must be pretty close to getting the nod in league games now.  He at least is giving Ralph a decision to make.

He Lives!

We of course had Mohammed Salisu playing his first game for nearly a year and though he had a couple of ropey moments, in the main he did really well. I don’t think he’s ever going to be the most comfortable with the ball at his feet but he is a unit and he looks ideally suited to the Premier League from a physical point of view. All you need to do is realise how quickly everything happens and once he does that, he will be fine. I liked the fact that he clearly wanted to defend. Also, the fact that he has some quite serious pace which is unusual in the context of Saints central defenders. The small lapses were mainly down to not having played football for months.  The only slight concern for me was that he looked very one footed. The airshot was with his right but then he put a good right footed tackle in later on. Very promising and only 21.  For me he is a bit like Diallo in that he has been brought in to be cover this season but watch him go next season.

They say when strikers are having a bit of a goal drought that you want a goal to go in off your arse or off your knee or something and that is certainly what happened for Danny Ings today. Hopefully, having a gold bouncing off him via a deflection of the goalkeeper and to be flagged offside originally, will set him off on a run of goals again. By the way, we didn’t have the luck from VAR tonight, we had a correct decision that was proved to be correct.

The experiment with Nathan Redmond upfront didn’t really work and Moussa Djenepo didn’t have a great deal of success over on the left hand side. The impact was provided by Nathan Tella who came off the bench with 10 minutes to go and did exactly what an attacking substitute is supposed to do. He had an impact, setting up the second goal and very nearly winning a penalty as well but for another correct VAR call.  Jon Moss had a good game.  Never thought I'd say that.

Leaving the best til last, our best player was the Scotsman with a magnificent hair.  He just makes the whole team tick when he is playing well which is what he did today. We will ignore the absolute sitter he missed just after half-time but if ever a man deserve to goal, it was Stuart Armstrong today.

The draw for the next round took place directly after the game and in the quarter-finals we got a brilliant draw away to Bournemouth. Not far to travel and a Championship side away from home. Win that and we are in the semi-final where we will doubtless get the winners of the Leicester vs Man United game and if all that comes to pass, I’m sure the number nine Will be mentioned quite a lot.

We march on, as the advertising slogan goes.

Next up is of course Wolves again in the league at St Mary‘s. We really need to win that one as well.