Premier League Match 3 - Southampton 1 Leicester 2

Pierre Tries to Convince Jon Moss that He Was Six Inches Behind Play

Miraculously, Claude Puel still has a job at Leicester after for all the world looking like he would lose it in the summer. Many people had different turning points with regards to their support for Pellegrino last season but a lot of them turned on the 4-1 defeat by Leicester. We should use that game as motivation today to help toward a positive result. Leicester have no Jamie Vardy today as he was sent off last week but can still call on the number of very good players have they signed in the wake of the miraculous championship win.  They managed to keep hold of Harry Maguire after the World Cup despite the media trying to sell him to Manchester United.  Harry of course is the centre back who most Saints fans didn’t want to sign when he left Hull, before we signed Wesley Hoedt.

Saints make four changes from the Everton defeat with Vestergaard , Elyonoussi, Hojbjerg and Shane Long coming in for Austin, JWP, Romeu and Stephens. On the face of it there are some positives with this but the inclusion of Shane Long has the effect of depressing the fuck out of me. I would like anyone to answer me this? What on earth has that guy done in the past two years to warrant starting a Premier League football match? Anyone suggesting anything remotely related to “he runs a lot“ will not be taken seriously. It used to be the case that a striker that was going through a bad patch (usually about 10 games) would go and play in the reserves, hopefully banging a few goals to get his confidence up and then get picked again. There was nothing wrong with that system. Nowadays, it seems that the misfiring striker just gets given chance after chance after chance after chance and continues to play like he doesn’t even know what a football is and for that he gets an extended contract. Leaving out Romeu is an interesting call as well, bearing in mind that every time Hojbjerg and Lemina have played together so far, it has been a complete disaster.

Saints start the game pretty well and create the first chance as Elyounoussi cuts in from the left and sees his mis-hit shot kicked away by Schmeichel.  Leicester of course have James Maddison playing for them who was of course, according the ever reliable Sky Sources, signing for us in the summer.  Once a load of people had bet on that outcome, he of course signed for Leicester which was a shame as he looks decent – so much so that Hojbjerg grabs him in midfield to stop him getting away and Jon Moss books him.  With Austin being on the bench today there is no chance to compare Moss and Austin on the fitness stakes.

Redmond is continuing his strong start to the season and Amartey, the Leicester right back is getting destroyed every time the ball goes left.  On this occasion, Nathan pisses past him and Schmeichel turns his cross out for a corner.  In it comes flat from Elyounoussi and Vestergaard meets it on the edge of the box but it bounces down and wide.

Whilst the flow of play is generally towards the Leicester goal, it is notable that when they break, we are all over the shop and luckily, they usually choose the wrong pass. One last chance for Saints before half time with Bertrand and Redmond combining down the left again, a good low ball into Ings and he makes space brilliantly with his turn against the defender, only to hit his shot too close to Schmeichel who claws it out.  He’s not as big a bastard as his Dad but he’s irritatingly good just the same.  And so another St.Mary’s half time arrives with no goal.

The second half doesn’t start to promisingly with Wesley Hoedt again displaying that he can’t go a full 90 without a nightmare happening.  Firstly he gives the ball away and gets away with it when the cross is cleared back to him.  Then he calmly allies on the ball and gets tackled and McCarthy has to save the incoming shot.  It illustrates Hoedt, after over a year in the English game, still doesn’t get that strikers don’t give you time on the ball if they’re in close proximity, unless they’re Charlie Austin of course.

In a change to the published script, there’s a bit of build up on the right and Hojbjerg squirts the ball across and it finds it’s way to Ryan Bertrand on the edge of the box and he absolutely creams it past Schmeichel and screaming into the top corner.  What a strike.  Having won the ‘Losing the Most Points from Winning Positions’ Trophy last season, we set about defending that crown when three minutes later we get a Weslunge, a Leicester break and when the cross comes in, Cedric rises like a salmon and heads it off the back of his head and behind him straight to Gray who turns and smashes it in.  Utter wank from Mr Euro 16 Tight Shirt Boyband Twat.

On 70, we set about winning the game by taking off our best striker in Ings and bringing on Austin but the key incident to the whole game was 7 minutes later when we win the ball back high as Leicester overplay and Hojbjerg breaks into the area.  Ndidi has a grab and Pierre keeps going before Amartey pulls out of making any tackle and Pierre pulls out a ridiculous dive and having already been booked, he has to go and even Fat Jon Moss couldn’t miss that one from his position about 50 yards behind play.  Well played Pierre – fucking hell.

Austin should of course be following Hojbjerg down the tunnel but Romeu comes on for Elyonoussi.  Far from reorganizing, we have gone to shit and Chilwell jinks in from the Leicester left and fires at the near post but McCarthy is equal to it.  A typical Shane Long performance (100% effort, 0% goal threat) comes to an end as Armstrong comes on as we appear to settle for 1-1.

Just as it looks like we night get away with it but then Maguire picks the ball up on our right and cuts infield.  Austin tries to close him down but he’s waiting for his change at the bar so he doesn’t get close enough and Maguire scuffs it goalwards, through Romeu’s legs, through Vestergaard’s legs and unsurprisingly, McCarthy is unsighted and it settles in the bottom corner.  For fucks sake.  The End.

Well fuck it. Another kick in the bollocks. It seems that any event, good or bad in the game just sees us go to shit. We score a goal, we panic and go to shit. We concede a goal, we then panic some more and go to shit some more. Someone gets sent off, we completely go to shit. Teams with strong mentalities and leadership respond to changes in the game in a positive way, regardless of whether the incident in question was positive or negative for their team. We just don’t do that at the moment and haven’t since Koeman days. There’s a reason some teams, like Bournemouth for example, gain loads of points from losing positions and there is a reason why Saints continue to do the complete opposite..

Having played reasonably well in the first half, we finally took the lead the great strike from Ryan Bertrand then pissed it away within three minutes thanks to a horrific bit of defending by Cedric. Usually, when a ball his crossed over on the left hand side he just get smashed into oblivion by the player he supposed to be marking but today he went one better actually presented the ball to the guy he was supposed to be marking. To be fair, Elyonoussi got in his way a bit but I don’t know about you, I was taught to call for the ball when it was in the air when I was about seven years old and regardless of who got in the way, to keep my eye on it.

Following Pierre’s red card for being a fucking dick (no more really needs to be said on that), we of course let in the tunnelball 94th minute winner.  Maybe our centre forward should have been marking Maguire in the first place or at least closing down. Whilst I’m not remotely impressed that Long was picked to start the game, once the red card happened, the player that should’ve been taken off was of course Austin because he can’t run, even though he has only been on the pitch for 20 minutes. A knackered Shane Long will do more chasing and harrying then a fresh Charlie Austin. That’s the one fucking thing that Shane Long is good at. I know a substitute is going to kick off about being substituted but this is top level professional sport and the team is, or should be everything.

Fan reaction has been typically OTT and absurd. I don’t know what people expect really as Hughes tries to unpick two years of complete fucking shambles. It really isn’t going to happen overnight and he is going to get some things wrong in the meantime. Jack Stephens last week was a wrong call, Shane Long this week was a wrong call.

There were some positives today despite what you may read on Twitter. The midfield pairing of Hojbjerg and Lemina looks better than it ever has before, which is not hard admittedly, well… It was better until Pierre was a dick. Nathan Redmond had another very good game on the wing and seems to have rediscovered his love of running at players.

An interesting call for Hughes this week is how to use the Brighton league cup game. Personally, I would field of the strongest side but I suspect it will be used to give players like Steve Davis and Jan Bednarek a game. The main thing I would like to say is an alternative right back tried, be it Jack Stephens, Matt Targett, Maya Yoshida or Jan Valery.

Bring it on.