Introducing the Mario Lemina Boot Range
A trip to the very impressive Molyneux to play Wolves you
have made an impressive start to life back in the Premier league under the
charismatic management of Nuno Espirito Santo. Their recruitment model is based
on whoever Jorge Mendes decides to send their way and you can argue the pros
and cons of that with regard to it being a big dodgy but they’ve made a bloody
good start this year. They’ve been solid without being spectacular but managed
to point at Old Trafford, a point at home to Manchester City and only one
defeat so far in a game that they actually should of won away at Leicester.
They are not the most clinical side and front of goal but do create loads of
chances which either means that their forwards are not very good or that they
are due to absolutely batter someone soon. Here come Southampton.
Wolves spent a lot of money in the summer but they invested in real quality with Moutinho and Patricio being the pick of the bunch. Their record fee was spent on a Adama Traore who is being used as an impact sub at the moment and with his pace and direct running, it could be a case of the longer he stays off of the pitch, the better for us with our rather pedestrian back four. Having said all that about Wolves - they are good but they are not that good so we should certainly be looking to take something from today.
The main news from Hughes before the game was that Shane Long was injured so does make me wonder whether fuck our goals are gonna come from now. I assume it will be either Austin or Armstrong to play up there with Ings. It’s been an interesting development in the media the last couple of weeks in that everybody seems to have jumped on the bandwagon the Saints are really really fucking boring and are a real nothing team. It really is hard to argue with that. All the things that made as good a few years ago are no longer there and it’s hard to argue with anyone who says that our sole aim seems to be to survive. The teanm news today is that Austin has come in for the injured Long so that'll be a sub needing to be made on the hour mark.
Wolves spent a lot of money in the summer but they invested in real quality with Moutinho and Patricio being the pick of the bunch. Their record fee was spent on a Adama Traore who is being used as an impact sub at the moment and with his pace and direct running, it could be a case of the longer he stays off of the pitch, the better for us with our rather pedestrian back four. Having said all that about Wolves - they are good but they are not that good so we should certainly be looking to take something from today.
The main news from Hughes before the game was that Shane Long was injured so does make me wonder whether fuck our goals are gonna come from now. I assume it will be either Austin or Armstrong to play up there with Ings. It’s been an interesting development in the media the last couple of weeks in that everybody seems to have jumped on the bandwagon the Saints are really really fucking boring and are a real nothing team. It really is hard to argue with that. All the things that made as good a few years ago are no longer there and it’s hard to argue with anyone who says that our sole aim seems to be to survive. The teanm news today is that Austin has come in for the injured Long so that'll be a sub needing to be made on the hour mark.
Away we go and it’s the home side with the early play as
they work it across from our left and the flamboyantly named Jonny Castro Otto
beings a decent save out of Macca.
Saints are not being outplayed though and begin to get a foothold in
midfield and once again Redmond is looking dangerous, beating a couple before
feeding Austin and the unfit one finds Elyonoussi who tries his luck from too
far out and Patricio saves easily.
Redmond is creator in chief again and a lovely diagonal ball
finds Elyonoussi in on goal but Patricio is out and blocks well as Moi tries to
lift it over him. From the resulting
hard won corner, Elyonoussi takes quite possibly the worst corner by anyone
ever and boots it straight into row Z. I
bet Vestergaard and Hoedt were delighted that they trudged up from the back. Unperturbed, Redders spins a defender and creates
another chance for Ings this time and his shot nicks off a defender for another
corner which we waste in slightly less embarrassing fashion than last time.
Wolves haven’t really done anything but there’s a break
coming up so we have to give them a good opportunity and Docherty crosses from
the right and we get a Weslice in the wrong direction straight to Raul Jimenez
who virtually passes it straight to Macca, having been taken by surprise by not
expecting us to pass the ball to him in front of goal. We have one more chnace before half time which
is created well by Elyonoussi when he finds Ings, takes a return ball and
instead of trying to find Ings again, he tries another 40 yard left footed
daisy cutter which needless to say, doesn’t give us the lead before half time.
The opening 15 minutes of the second half is all us in that
we are monopolising possession of the ball without creating much. Hojbjerg and Lemina a winning the midfield
and we create one half chance with some lovely football across to the right and
it’s worked in to Ings who spins his defender but gets blocked as he goes to
pull the trigger. The ‘When will Austin be
Blowing out of His Arse and Get Substituted’ sweepstake is being led by the
55-64 minute slot but it’s Wolves who change first, bringing on Adama Traore –
oh shit, especially as Bertrand has just been booked.
Hojbjerg is having a good game and drives forward only to
get brought down 40 yards out and possibly due to a lack of anyone who could be
remotely creative from this situation, Vestergaard thumps it straight but on
target and Patricio pats it down but no one is following up because our fox in
the box is knackered. Like Hojbjerg, Lemina has had a good game and
then he goes ‘Full Waster’. He gets
tackled and his boot comes off. His boot
is pink which is an issue but not the main issue here – it takes about 10
minutes for him to put the fucker back on.
Even an 8 year old can change a boot quicker than that.
Meanwhile, we send on Armstrong and Gabbiadini for
Elyonoussi and Austin. Austin has lasted
a huge 77 minutes but he’s been walking for the last 20. Armstrong shows what he brings to the party a
few minutes later as he gets on the end of a Cedric cross and gets the shot in
but it’s straight at Patricio. With 10
to go and Wolves still not having anything effective happen in our third – even
though it wasn’t really inevitable, the inevitable happens.
It starts with Lemina losing the ball as usual. Armstrong wins it back and gives it away
again to Traore who skips round Bertrand like he isn’t there. On he rumbles and Hoedt does pretty well to
hold him up for a bit but then he burns past him, crosses it, Vestergaard falls
over and the ball is laid back to Cavaliero who has just come on as sub, bang,
no chance Macca, 1-0. Fucking hell. That’d be the 6th preventable goal
in a row that we’ve let in.
We respond to this setback in the usual way by completely
going to shit. Wolves cut us open again
and Cedric has to give away a corner.
When it comes in it’s free header time for Jimenez but McCarthy arches
backwards to claw the ball out of the postage stamp from behind him. World Class save.
Our big finish to try and get a point involves standing off
and letting Wolves pass the ball about.
It’s fucking criminal. We need
putting out of our misery and we duly are and yet again it’s fucking rubbish defending. This time Armstrong allows Docherty
to walk past him in the left back position and his cross is touched past the
fallen tree presence of Vestergaard and smashed into the net by Castro Otto who
has wandered in from left back without anyone going with him. Absolute dogshit. Gabbi manages a shot in the 93rd minute
but it’s near post and Patricio is never letting that in. Another defeat. Wankers.
Well that was a typical 2018 vintage Southampton
performance. We were of the better side in terms of keeping the ball and
playing nice patterns in midfield but the bottom line is that our defence will
always ship a goal and today, the main issue was that we have no cutting-edge
whatsoever. And unless the rules have changed, you don’t get awarded dick for
style. We actually won the midfield battle with Hojbjerg and Lemina (when he
wasn’t doing up his fucking boots) having the better of Moutinho and Neves. How
can you win the battle of the all-important midfield and still lose the fucking
game 2-0? Having said that we want to
make real battle, my mate, Rockstar Instagram Brand Machine Mario Lemina found a
new way to be an absolute fucking dick this week, basically missing about 10%
of the game so he could put his pink boots back on. What the fuck is that
about?
As predicted before the game, as soon as we are faced with an attacker with a bit of pace, we haven’t got a fucking clue. Bertrand let him go because he was worried about getting sent off and then Traore predictably completely burned Hoedt who had absolutely no cover. Hoedt actually held up Traore long enough to get help but Bertrand was just jogging back into position and neither Lemina or Hojbjerg got back in to defend the centre of the penalty area. For the second goal, Stuart Armstrong found him self on the left back position and produced the most namby-pamby bit of defending we’ve seen for a while and believe me, we have seen a few.
We bought Armstrong to be that link between midfield and attack, to be a midfield player who had efforts on goal. He doesn’t fit anywhere in a 4-4-2 formation unless he is playing in the number 10 role just off a striker. Whatever happened to that club philosophy of all the teams playing the same formation. It’s almost like we sign players to play one formation and then chuck it all up in the air so we end up with Armstrong who can’t play anywhere really and two giant centre backs, neither of whom are quick. There has to be a change in the central defence with Yoshida being the obvious player to come in.
As for the lack of cutting edge. Our first four seasons in the Premier League we played with Rickie Lambert or Graziano Pelle up front. We had a focal point with those players and we have smaller more mobile strikers like J-Rod, Adam Lallana or Sadio Mané (I’m leaving out fucking Juanmi). We absolutely need a target man to give us some focus because basically, if Ings comes short then we have no one at the moment who is likely to score a goal anywhere near the opposition goal. I heard that he was carrying a slight hamstring injury but for the love of God, give Sam Gallagher a go and soon. He might not be brilliant and he might not be good enough but he is a striker that Pochettino, our best manager of recent times, thought was good enough at 18 to play in the Premier League. Give him a fucking go. He cannot be worse than Long and Austin who are proven not good enough and not fit enough respectively.
Why are football people scared of trying something different? It reminds me of the argument how are used to have over Le Tissier and Gascoigne in the England team and everyone went “well that won’t work”. Maybe not, but we never fucking found out because we never tried it. It might of been crap but then it might of been absolutely brilliant. Le Tissier and Ronnie Ekelund worked for Saints, as did Tiss and Eyal Berkovic. So, you can be brave and try things or alternatively, you can keep on trying the same old shit again and again and wonder why nothing changes.
After the game, Jannik Vestergaard gave a very glum sounding interview on the radio and he clearly just want to get out of the way of the questions and Charlie Austin wrote “fuck off” on his Facebook page. I guess some harsh words were said at the end of the game and I hope they were. There are rumours of a punch up in the dressing room and I hope they’re true as well.
The joke is that Wolves weren’t even that good. All they had to do was play for about 15 minutes at the end and we could’ve lost 4-0 and we would’ve done if it wasn’t for McCarthy and the odd bit of good defending that happened in front of them. I’ve steered clear of criticising Hughes too much because the problems are more than just his. Very few of this lot seem to have the fire in their bellies necessary to go out and win games. They always look like they’re just going through the fucking motions. Hughes afterwards that there would be some different players in the starting XI as this lot have had a chance and not delivered. That will probably mean Elyonoussi dropping out and JWP coming in but it would be tough on the Norwegian because he was brought in as an attacking left-winger and he’s playing right wing in the flat midfield four with the right footed Redmond playing on the left.
I must admit that straight after this game, I did actually look at the league table for the three teams that are worse than us. I have found two in Cardiff and Huddersfield but you can already see the teams that are going to be down there and it’s going to be Southampton, Fulham, Brighton and Newcastle.
So, another typical week supporting Southampton. Next week we have a visit to the graveyard of Goodison Park in the Reserve Team Trophy, followed by a trip to the graveyard of St Mary‘s next week to play Chelsea who are looking like a very different side to last season and they look like they’re actually playing a different sport to us. Chances of an upset? – I’d say Zero. Happy days.
As predicted before the game, as soon as we are faced with an attacker with a bit of pace, we haven’t got a fucking clue. Bertrand let him go because he was worried about getting sent off and then Traore predictably completely burned Hoedt who had absolutely no cover. Hoedt actually held up Traore long enough to get help but Bertrand was just jogging back into position and neither Lemina or Hojbjerg got back in to defend the centre of the penalty area. For the second goal, Stuart Armstrong found him self on the left back position and produced the most namby-pamby bit of defending we’ve seen for a while and believe me, we have seen a few.
We bought Armstrong to be that link between midfield and attack, to be a midfield player who had efforts on goal. He doesn’t fit anywhere in a 4-4-2 formation unless he is playing in the number 10 role just off a striker. Whatever happened to that club philosophy of all the teams playing the same formation. It’s almost like we sign players to play one formation and then chuck it all up in the air so we end up with Armstrong who can’t play anywhere really and two giant centre backs, neither of whom are quick. There has to be a change in the central defence with Yoshida being the obvious player to come in.
As for the lack of cutting edge. Our first four seasons in the Premier League we played with Rickie Lambert or Graziano Pelle up front. We had a focal point with those players and we have smaller more mobile strikers like J-Rod, Adam Lallana or Sadio Mané (I’m leaving out fucking Juanmi). We absolutely need a target man to give us some focus because basically, if Ings comes short then we have no one at the moment who is likely to score a goal anywhere near the opposition goal. I heard that he was carrying a slight hamstring injury but for the love of God, give Sam Gallagher a go and soon. He might not be brilliant and he might not be good enough but he is a striker that Pochettino, our best manager of recent times, thought was good enough at 18 to play in the Premier League. Give him a fucking go. He cannot be worse than Long and Austin who are proven not good enough and not fit enough respectively.
Why are football people scared of trying something different? It reminds me of the argument how are used to have over Le Tissier and Gascoigne in the England team and everyone went “well that won’t work”. Maybe not, but we never fucking found out because we never tried it. It might of been crap but then it might of been absolutely brilliant. Le Tissier and Ronnie Ekelund worked for Saints, as did Tiss and Eyal Berkovic. So, you can be brave and try things or alternatively, you can keep on trying the same old shit again and again and wonder why nothing changes.
After the game, Jannik Vestergaard gave a very glum sounding interview on the radio and he clearly just want to get out of the way of the questions and Charlie Austin wrote “fuck off” on his Facebook page. I guess some harsh words were said at the end of the game and I hope they were. There are rumours of a punch up in the dressing room and I hope they’re true as well.
The joke is that Wolves weren’t even that good. All they had to do was play for about 15 minutes at the end and we could’ve lost 4-0 and we would’ve done if it wasn’t for McCarthy and the odd bit of good defending that happened in front of them. I’ve steered clear of criticising Hughes too much because the problems are more than just his. Very few of this lot seem to have the fire in their bellies necessary to go out and win games. They always look like they’re just going through the fucking motions. Hughes afterwards that there would be some different players in the starting XI as this lot have had a chance and not delivered. That will probably mean Elyonoussi dropping out and JWP coming in but it would be tough on the Norwegian because he was brought in as an attacking left-winger and he’s playing right wing in the flat midfield four with the right footed Redmond playing on the left.
I must admit that straight after this game, I did actually look at the league table for the three teams that are worse than us. I have found two in Cardiff and Huddersfield but you can already see the teams that are going to be down there and it’s going to be Southampton, Fulham, Brighton and Newcastle.
So, another typical week supporting Southampton. Next week we have a visit to the graveyard of Goodison Park in the Reserve Team Trophy, followed by a trip to the graveyard of St Mary‘s next week to play Chelsea who are looking like a very different side to last season and they look like they’re actually playing a different sport to us. Chances of an upset? – I’d say Zero. Happy days.
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