League Cup 3rd Round - Everton 1 Southampton 1 (Southampton win 4-3 on penalties)

8 Overexcited Saints players.... and Maya

Time for the Reserve Team Trophy again and after us getting the shittiest draw imaginable, we’re at Goodison Park. I’m expecting Herbertson to take this going quite seriously bearing in mind that I spent an absolute fortune of the last two years and haven’t really moved forward very much and this realistically is the only competition they have any chance of winning. For us, I think it is a pretty huge game bearing in mind how shit the league form has been and was expected to be Miley fringe players, they will feel that they have a genuine chance of getting into the league team for Sundays defeat against Chelsea.

The rumours about the doorstop in the changing room after the Wolves game have gathered pace a little bit and frames are to be believed it was between Wesley height and the manager. No prizes he’s going to lose out long-term in that particular argument. If true, Wesley my want to check out with Sofiane Boufal is at the moment.

In the event, we picked a back three with Yoshida in between Stephens and Bednarek. Matty Targett was the left-wing back with Cedric on the right and surprisingly, both Hojbjerg and Lemina started in the centre of midfield. We lined up with three strikers in Redmond, Gabbiadini and Ings so on the face of it, it’s a decent line-up.  Everton have left out a few, notably Sigurdsson who is one I’m always worried about when he plays against us.  There is an ex-Saints presence with Walcott on the bench, Stekelenburg in goal and Schneiderlin in midfield.  I don’t think he saw his career panning out the way it has since he left Saints for the bright lights.

Everton have the first decent chance with Lookman picking the ball up on the right and as we stood off, he curled it wide of the far post. Talking of posts, Saints hit one as Schneiderling  horribly gives the ball away and Gabbi sends Redmond away on the left.  Such is his level of confidence he has Kenny for toast and cuts in before striking the base of the near upright with Stek beaten.

At the back we are looking decent with Stephens and Bednarek being martialled by Yoshida who is developing a nice line in cynical fouls to stop any Everton attacks.  The trouble with this is that we are then relying on Stephens to head things away and it’s scary to say the least.  However, as it looks like being 0-0 at half time, we build well down the left, Redmond again skins Kenny and passes infield to Ings who has dropped out to the edge of the box and the Liverpool loanee, to the delight of the 30,000 Evertonians in the ground, beautifully passes it along the ground into the far corner of the net.  Guess what? Stekelenburg never moved.  It’s good to see that nothing much changes.

Everton show a bit more intent at the start of the second half with Bernard getting on the ball and a lovely chip over the defect puts Lookman in but Gunn is out well to save.  Before long though it’s back to us being the better side and you feel that even with our talent for fucking things up, another goal would seal it and we nearly get it when Bednarek meets a corner with a firm header from about 6 yards but Stekelenburg chooses now of all times to actually make a save and tips it over the bar well.

The next chance is for Hojbjerg but he loses composure after a neat 1-2 with Redders and toe pokes it well over the bar.  So – we’re on top and time is running out and Everton are creating nothing and then off comes Gabbi and on comes Steve Davis.  I don’t like this.  It’s negative and guaranteed to put us on the back foot.  If you want to stiffen up the midfield then fine, bring on Romeu.  In the even Davis goes on the right so why not JWP?  At least he can take a free kick or a corner.  Everton’s subs by comparison are totally going for it with Walcott and Niasse coming on and midfiedlers including the desperate Schneiderlin going off.

Having had a really good game we get a bit of peak Yoshida.  He looks all calm and composed with the ball on the half way line and he takes his time and then turns and plays it about 10 yards short of Gunn.  It’s Gunn vs Walcott but luckily, Angus has a head start and has to perform a sliding man and ball effort to hack it clear.  After that scare, you know we’re going to panic .

Five minutes later and Niasse wins a challenge in the middle of the park with Yoshida and gets lucky as the ball lands well for him and he slides Walcott in and you just know what’s going to happen. 1-1.  Fuck.  Nothing much happens for the rest of the game and so we go straight to penalties.

The figure in brackets tells you my confidence in the relevant player to stick the ball in the net. It is slightly baffling however that we had two substitutions left to make and we have JWP and Charlie Austin sat on the bench as unused substitutes. Let’s hope it doesn’t get to 8-8 and we have Bednarek and Stephens stepping up.

There are two tosses for the penalty shootout and Everton win both of them. They get to go first and they get to choose ends. Here we go.

Leighton Baines (9) in off the underside of the bar and unsavable. 0-1

Danny Ings (10) there is nothing he seems like more than scoring on Merseyside against Everton and predictably, no problem at all. 1-1

Cenk Tosun (6). Big fucking donkey to maybe a chance but... Confidently enough 2-1.

Steve Davis (9) he may not be able to run any more but I’m sure he can take a decent penalty still. Bang, Roof of the net, 2-2.

Richarlison (5). A definite candidate to miss because he’s just as likely to get a ball and dive on the fucking floor. Here he comes, stops, a little stutter and then he balloons it into Row Z like a complete fucking £50 million wanker.

Pierre Hojbjerg (9). This man can score from 40 yards is really not gonna miss from 12 and he duly slots in the corner. 2-3 up.

Kurt Zouma (4). Not the most subtle of players and he’s just going to leather it and I reckon he’s a decent candidate to smash it over the bar. Bang.... straight through Angus Gunn but to be fair, he has absolutely smashed it. 3-3

Matt Targett (8). Good striker of the ball and decent at free kicks and I don’t reckon this is going to be a problem. Left a footed penalty takers always worry me a bit though...... Shit. Bad placement and a comfortable height for the keeper. Bollocks and arse. 3-3

Theo Walcott (1). I just know that he’s going to miss. He is going to miss because he’s had a 14 year career and I don’t think he has ever taken one. If he has, I don’t think I’ve seen it. His game is all about pace and not a lot about ability so I don’t reckon he’s going to have the ability or the nerve to stick it in the net. Here he comes.... haaaaa! Great save Angus.

Fucking Hell who is left for us? Lemina? He won’t fancy the pressure…. Redmond won’t fancy after missing that one for England... Maybe one of the three centre backs? Fuck no. Cedric (6).... Strikes a decent ball when he wants to. Bang, 4-3 and fuck me, we have won a game and not only that, we have one at Goodison Park. I know that technically it’s a draw but fuck that, it’s a win and we are through to the next round and they are not so I’m having it.

I actually thought we played okay and totally deserve to get through. The only bummer is of course that we needed penalties do it as we conceded our traditional late goal.  The back three worked better in the flat back four has in recent matches with Yoshida adding a certain calmness to the proceedings apart from with his horrendously shit backpass. The make up of the defence for the next game is going to be very interesting. I assume it will be three at the back so you would expect Yoshida and maybe one of Stephens and Bednarek to be in there with Vestergaard. However, Matt Targett had a great game at left back so I would be tempted to slot Ryan Bertrend into the Hoedt shaped space on the left of the back three with Vestergaard in the middle and Yoshida to the right.

Elsewhere, Gabbiadini didn’t really set the world alight but hopefully he did enough to put himself in the managers plans ahead of both Long and Austin. Finally, I have to say that Angus Gunn looks like a cracking keeper and this can only be a good thing regarding pushing Alex McCarthy to maintain his form. What Gunn has definitely proved is that there would be absolutely no problem should McCarthy get injured.

With all the other games having been decided last week, we now have another away trip in the next round to Leicester City. One thing that you can guarantee is that Claude Puel will rotate the fuck out of their team so that game presents a decent chance of reaching the quarter-final again.

Come on then Chelsea, what have you got? Apart from Eden Hazard of course, oh and Kante … and Willian… And... oh yes, Bastard Giroud who always scores against us. Ah well, see you on Sunday.