Clyne, Shaw, Cork, Rodriguez, Lallana and Lambert + 5 others
An away trip to second from bottom Fulham may prove to be
more taxing than it would have been. The
transfer window had closed and Fulham had managed to bring in 5 players who one
would assume, are better than what they had before. The one class piece of business was to get
rid of Phillippe Senderos who is a guaranteed goal for whatever opposition he
was playing against – Think Callum Davenport 2005 for a comparison. Also gone was Dimitar Berbatov which is
probably a good thing for us as it means Darren Bent is up front. As for their new players, well I’ve never
been particularly impressed with Lewis Holtby though John Heitinga is a
definite upgrade on Senderos. These buys
need to work for Rene Meulensteen or else he’ll be joining the long line of
excellent coaches who become a manager and totally flounder.
Saints have gone about their usual business in the transfer
window and signed no one. We have
however shipped out some deadwood with Lee Barnard going to Southend, Aaron
Martin to Birmingham and Billy Sharp to Doncaster. Now matter how far down the pyramid we
trawled, we couldn’t find anyone to take Jonno Pace off our hands. He’s just too fast for anyone. We did of course manage to get shot of The
Prick who went out on loan to Juventus where he joins a battery of strikers in
Fernando Llorente, Carlos Tevez, Mirko Vucinic and … We’ve negotiated a deal whereby they have the
option to buy at the end of the season so we’ve got to hope that he manages to
get to May. In order for them to want to
buy him he’s got to a) get in the team, b) not punch / nut a team mate and c)
not shag the owners daughter. I have a
feeling that this isn’t over for us as he’s going to struggle to get a game so
are they really going to fork out £15 million in the summer. Oh well, for now anyway we’ve got shot of him
and that’s a good thing.
To the teams for today and Mauricio has rewarded Corky’s Man
of the Match performance against Arsenal by dropping him in favour of Big
Vic. Please though I am to see the big
man back, it’s a harsh one but a predictable one nonetheless. I am a bit worried that Vic will be a long
way off the pace as he hasn’t played a minute for about three months. Whatever happened to reserve matches to get
match fit again? The only other change
is the return of Sir Rickie with Not so Fat Sam dropping to the bench. The only two new players available for Fulham
are William Kvist and Holtby in midfield.
I find it unbelievable that they can field two new midfielders and still
find room for Championship standard Steve Sidwell and League of Ireland
standard Damien Duff. At last Duff used
to be a good player once upon a time.
We start off well in terms of possession but there’s nothing
much going on up front and we keep losing the ball before it gets interesting. Big Vic is his predictable self, winnign the
ball with aplomb and then being possessed by the spirit of Francis Benali and
loafing it into the crowd. I swear there
were a couple of passes where you couldn’t even see who he was aiming at. J-Rod manages to get booked for his first
tackle for not a lot really and I’m wondering if we’re going to have a fun day
with the referee. Talking of being
possessed (which I was a minute ago), Scott Parker seems to think he’s a player
capable of chipping King Artur from the edge of the box but his effort floats
straight to the Holy Goalie who stands there and dismissively catches it,
without spilling a drop of vodka.
Despite not having much of the ball, Fulham are doing a lot
more with it than we are as Steve Davis, the ginger master of the baize,
miscues straight to a Fulham player and Darren Bent gets away down the right
and fires over a dangerous low cross which Chambers has to shovel behind for a
corner. Our next attack is led by Luke
Shaw who feeds J-Rod and his cross is cleared.
This brings more panic as Fulham build up the right and a ball inside
the covering Big Vic frees Reither and his cross towards Bent is headed over
his own bar by Jose Fonte. The corner is
delivered and Hangeland gets a back-header in despite Chambers wrestling with
him and The King takes off and pull off a top drawer save to flip it away.
We have gone to shit now but there’s still time for comedy
incident of the day where Holtby picks up a ball in midfield and Big Vic runs
over him in much the same way as a juggernaut runs over a hedgehog. Holtby is left on the floor appealing to the
ref and wondering what the fuck that was.
Big Vic’s next tackle is a nothing affair as he pulls out of it but the Fulham
player goes airborne and we get a second booking of the day and this time it’s
really for nothing at all.
Holtby is causing more problems than a player of his limited
ability should do and his cross is flicked on by Parker to Bent whose volley
from the edge of the box is acrobatically turned aside by our favourite party
animal who seems to be in the mood for a clean sheet today. He has to be up for the challenge again a
minute later as Big Vic gets robbed by Sidwell and plays Bent through and the
player who once had a decent career sees any of the goal that he had to aim at,
blotted out by King Artur once more. Once
we’d cleared it, the ref decided to go back and book Morgan who therefore
became our third player to be booked for the sum total of not a lot.
It’s half time and we’ve been the better side in terms of
possession but Fulham have had the chances and will feel that they should be in
front. It’s interesting to scan the
#saintsfc tag on Twitter which is almost exclusively used by bedwetters. Most of the ire was directed at Big Vic and
Sir Rickie. Of course, Big Vic has pinned Mauricio to a
wall and demanded that he got picked and as for slagging off Sir Rickie – well,
you really should know better.
Corky is on for the second half for Big Vic and immediately
we look more cohesive and more purposeful.
This starts with a great move down the left which concludes with Shaw’s
run and cross which goes right across to J-Rod who whacks a snapshot just wide
of the far post. There is a sense that
it’s coming as Morgan plays a ball to Lallana and keeps going, receiving the
skippers drilled pas son his chest and attempting an overhead kick which flies
just over.
Calum Chambers is limping and has to go off to be replaced
by Nathaniel Clyne but there is no disruption at all as Lallana takes aim from
the edge of the box and though it’s well hit, it’s not going to trouble
Stekelenberg who catches easily. There’s
a moment of farce as J-Rod shanked a volley across the goal from Corky’s cross
and the defender falls over which seems to put Sir Rickie off and he falls over
as well. It’s coming I tell you.
Goaaaaaaaaaaaaal!
Corky wins it in midfield and plays it to Morgan who feeds Sir Rickie
who has space in behind Reither who has buggered off somewhere. One well weighted pass to Lallana and he’s up
against Hangeland who gives him too much space and though he’s quite wide, an
unerringly accurate shot finds the far bottom corner.
The response from Fulham is just to give us the ball back
and allow us to keep it and take the pressure off. Five minutes later and the game is virtually
done. Clyne bursts down the right, feeds
Davis who cleverly shifts it back into the path of Clyne’s run and his low
cross is dummied by J-Rod and Sir Rickie is steaming in behind to crash it into
the net. Brilliant goal and 2-0.
So, what have you got Fulham? The cameras pan to Muelensteen and Uncle
Festa Ray Wilkins in the Fulham dugout, then somewhat mischievously to Alan
Curbishley in the crowd who is their Director of Football or as it’s commonly
known, Manager In Wating. He’s sat near
Roy Hodgson who is making a bit of a habit of being at Saints games. I expect he’s here to watch Steve Sidwell or
to see if Scott Parker’s still got it or maybe to see if Kieran Richardson can
add to the England caps he’s already got.
Who the fuck capped him or maybe he bought them on eBay. Maybe though he’s here to watch the boys in
red and he must have been purring as Sir Rickie picked up the ball on the edge
of our own penalty area and pinged it 70 yards inside the full back in curling
into the path of J-Rod who controlled, cut inside and as Hangeland got nowhere near
him, placed it into far top corner. What
a fucking goal that is! 3-0, have it!!!
Big Sam comes on for J-Rod with a couple of minutes to go
but our work is done here and we comfortably keep Fulham away from King Artur’s
goal and complete the win and the clean sheet comfortably. We probably could have scored more but we didn’t
need to.
If that’s not enough to put a smile on your face then I
don’t know what is. Yes, Fulham were
desperately poor in the second half but we’d have beaten anyone to be
honest. Absolutely brilliant stuff right
the way through the team from King Artur through to J-Rod and Sir Rickie up
top. Two of the standouts for me were
actually the central defenders who though not tested much, didn’t put a foot
wrong all game. Jose provided the
strength and power and Maya just mopped everything up with the minimum of fuss. The biggest compliment you can pay Maya is
that we haven’t missed Dejan Lovren at all.
King Artur is the main man though as his three first half stops kept it
at 0-0 which gave us the platform to piss the second half.
With Roy Hodgson being present, the main focus will be on
the English players who scored the goals today but the longer our form
continues, there will be others aside from Sir Rickie, Adam and J-Rod on the
radar. Is there a better English
defensive midfielder than Jack Cork – please don’t say Lampard or Carrick! The biggest obstacle to Jack is probably
staying in our team. Nathaniel Clyne was
brilliant when he came on and his part in the second goal, firstly with the run
and then with the quality ball in cannot have failed to impress the England
manager who is used to Glenn Johnson or Kyle Walker aimlessly wafting cross out
for a throw-in on the other side. Of
course there is Luke Shaw as well who has less of a chance because of the
competition at left back. All he can do
is get himself to the front of the queue behind Baines and Ashley Cole.
The post match interviews with Sir Rickie and Adam really
made the point about the team spirit which was never really a problem but has
certainly been brought into sharper focus with the removal of The Prick. Adam called Sir Rickie the talisman of the
club and Sir Rickie gave all the credit to J-Rod. It’s all heart-warming stuff.
Fulham looked doomed it has to be said. A splurge on playerrs in January was
necessary but it looks to me that they haven’t brought in the necessary
quality. Even if the Greek striker
rattles in 15 goals before the end of the season, they’re still shite at the
back even without Senderos. Heitinga’s
good but not fantastic but the existing players look shot. Both Reither and Richardson can’t defend and
Hangeland played today like he was about 45 year s old. I hope they stay up as there are many more clubs
who I’d wish relegation on more than Fulham but I can’t see it right now. Maybe Curbishley can inspire a few results as
I don’t see Muelensteen lasting too long.
Next up we have the visit of the new improved Stoke City who
have just beaten man United. You’re
playing a decent side next week though chaps so hold tight.
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