The Itchen Bridge (with St Mary's in background) - Saints fans not pictured.
It’s unlike me to read emails that get sent out by the
Saints marketing department but I did before today’s game and it advised me to
get there early as the new card-reading entry system was of course, being used
for the first time and there would be queues round the block etc when it broke
down. Turning up at my usual 2.59 wasn’t
on and so I inserted my card at a very stress free 2.30pm and went to try and
find a programme which was of course new look and fabulous and still only three
quid…. and totally sold out by 2.15pm.
Still, not to worry and the good news would be that if the Chuckle
Brothers were there, maybe the Moronic one wouldn’t have a programme either and
would have nothing to make duck noises through.
Ah the Chuckle Brothers, would they or wouldn’t they be
there. I’m sure everyone who renews a
season ticket has them – fucking irritating bastards who they hope and pray
will be sitting somewhere else.
Hopefully the price rises would have had the unexpected bonus of getting
rid of them. 2.40 – no sign and
then,,,”Hello everyone, I’m back”. Who
introduces themselves like that? Old
Bill (aged 85) who sits next to me turns round and asks him if he’s going to
moan all the way through this season and my Dad politely points out all the
kids in earshot in case I fancy teaching them how to swear. Chuckle Number 2 turns up and he’s got a
programme… fucking great.
To the game and we’re playing Wigan and it is of course, the
easiest looking of our first 4 fixtures as the other three are against
Champions League qualifying teams. They’ve predictably not brought many down
and there are big gaps in their end, despite a batch of their tickets going on
sale to Saints fans at short notice.
Wigan don’t have any star names in their side and Victor Moses wasn’t
playing as he’d been sucked into the Black Hole that is the Chelsea squad. Hopefully he’ll get out before he’s wasted
too much of his career. Rumour has it
that he moved as he was shitting himself at the prospect of having to play at
St.Marys. His replacement in the starting
line up was Aruna Kone who sported a very natural looking blonde afro. Hopefully he’d be as shit as his hairdo. The Saints staring line up is obvious before
it’s announced as there are 11 players doing warm ups in one group and 7 in
another. Steven Davis is in for JWP and
Sir Rickie is in for Punch meaning I guess, that Guly would be on the right
wing. A glance around the stadium and I
see the two spanking new screens which must have cost a few quid and may
explain why Punch had been left out as Don Cortese wanted to reduce the chances
of anyone hitting them with a shot.
Saints start well and are having most of the early
possession but once Wigan do get hold of it
then they look very accomplished and pass it about nicely. We get a couple of free kicks in wide areas
after fairly cynical Wigan fouls but Lallana’s delivery on both fails to picks
anyone out. The first real chance falls
to the new skipper as Lallana cleverly makes space for himself before arrowing
a shot towards the top corner but its head in hands time as Al Habsi takes off
and tips it onto the bar and over – great shot, great save.
The rest of the first half is shite to be honest with
neither side getting much change out of the defences. Wigan look good until the last third and
Saints are taking too long with their passes which enabled Wigan
to get loads of men back behind the ball whilst we piss about passing it
amongst the back 4 and the keeper. Half
time and 0-0 and last place on Match of the Day looms even larger.
The second half starts with no changes on either side and
Saints in the ascendancy and Guly carrying on from his decent first half by
slinging in a cross which Sir Rickie met and headed goalwards for Al Habsi to
make a meal of what was a comfortable save.
Disaster struck straight afterwards as Wigan
scored with their first shot as Boyce fed Maloney who slipped in a lovely first
time pass to give di Santo an opportunity which he lashed into the top of the net
giving Superkelv not an earthly. Shite.
We’re all over the place for five minutes but we get back
into it and have Al Habsi being over dramatic again as a corner is headed away
as far as Foxy who smashes in straight back at the keeper only for the him to
punch away. Whatever happened to
catching the bloody thing? I’ll forgive
him for not catching the net one as Sir Rickie picks up a Lallana pass and lets
fly from 30 yards only for Al Habsi to sprawl to his left and push it round the
post.
It’s impact time and James Ward-Prowse is summoned from the
bench to replace the Steven Davis who has shown that he’s a good player and it’s
a bit surprising he’s being hooked as he’s had a really good game. We switch to a 4-4-2 formation but no one
seems to know where they are supposed to be and soon after, J-Rod is heading
for the tunnel to be replaced with Billy Sharp.
With 10 minutes left it’s become one of those ‘not our day’
games as once again, Lallana feeds Sir Rickie who chips in a cross which Big
Jos met and floated his header onto the bar and over. We create another chance or rather Lallana
creates one for himself by wriggling away in the box and toe poking an effort
at Al Habsi which he again, spectacularly shovels wise of the post. As a fan, I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself
as on chances we certainly deserve something and it’s pissing me off that I’m
having to get up to let people out when there are still possibly 10 minutes to
go including injury time. I’ll defend
Saints fans as much as anyone but it’s piss poor how empty the ground is on 85
minutes. It’s only one fucking nil for
Christ’s sake and even the Chuckle Brothers are still here.
It may be only 1-0 but it soon isn’t and the nail is in the
coffin as Clyne takes a throw to Fonte who pisses about with it and gets robbed
by Kone on the half way line. It’s a
clear foul but he’s allowed to carry on and we can’t get to him as he advances
on goal and scores comfortably as Superkelv weighed up his choices of staying
on his line or coming out and eventually didn’t really do either. 2-0 and the exodus really begins. Full time and not the glorious return to
Premier league Football at St.Marys that we were hoping for.
Though we created many more chances thatn Wigan
you’d struggle to find anyone who said we were the better side. Wigan looked far more accomplished on the ball
and a lot more purposeful when they had it and of course, they had two good
chances all game and scored them both.
We were slow in possession and it really showed that some players weren’t
as comfortable passing it about as they had looked last season with Foxy and
Big Jos in particular looking like they didn’t want it. Steven Davis was a positive and along with
Morgan and Adam Lallana in our midfield and Lallana had some good moments
further forward. On the wings Guly had a
good first half but faded horribly from 50 minutes onwards and his head went
down whereas J-Rod at the moment is a square peg in a round hole and it just doesn’t
work.
I was hoping to get back to the car before Nigel’s post
match interview because I was keen to know if he was going to be realistic or
playing Adkins Bingo. Of course there
was a bit of that but mainly it was realistic with the message being that if
you don’t take your chances you will be punished. Also he criticized our slow passing which
made it so fucking easy for Wigan to get players back behind the ball. They were my words by the way – not his.
The fans reaction to this defeat has been the full range
from philosophical with realism, right through to bunging oneself off the Itchen Bridge Wigan have been in the Premier League for 7 years and were
the form team at the tail end of last season and even though they lost at home
last week - that was to Chelsea who since then have won their two subsequent
matches and oh yeah, they’re the current European Champions. Wigan were a lot better than I thought they’d
be and deserved their win for the clinical finishing they displayed and the
purposeful way their midfield pressed when we had the ball and passed when they
had it. The trouble is that everyone (including
me) has seen Man City, Man United and Arsenal as the other teams in our first 4
fixtures and decided that we had to win this one.
This game did though bear out one of my pre-season worries –
we don’t have the players yet for this formation. It relies on having pace out wide for
attacking, defending and for joining in with the main striker. Guly and J-Rod tried hard but it’s just not
their game. The only winger with pace at
the club is Steeeeeve and I’m guessing he’s nowhere near the first team squad
at the moment. However, he should be if
we’re going to try and play this way.
You can of course get the pace out wide from the full backs but neither
Foxy nor Nathaniel Clyne got anwhere near the bye line all game. Still, I guess that’s why we’ve been in for
Matt Phillips.
A criticism I do have is of the bench today. Quite frankly, aside from Billy Sharp, no one
was going to make a big ‘impact’ off the bench.
We had a keeper, a right back, a left back and a centre back on there as
well as Billy, James Ward-Prowse and Punch.
In my opinion we could have done with Chappers or Deano on the bench so
when Wigan were strolling about in midfield for the last third of the game, we
could have at least thrown on someone with a bit of physical presence to go and
fuck them up a bit but all we had was a neat and tidy midfielder who Nigel put
on in place of easily our best midfielder on the day. I’m not criticising JWP here by the way but
surely we don’t need three defenders on the bench.
So, a chastening defeat which will make anyone who didn’t
already know realise that we need new players and we have 6 days to get them
in….2 centre backs and 2 wingers are I would say, the minimum requirement. F5, F5, F5, F5, Newsnow, Twitter, Facebook
and maybe even, the Saints Official Website – if you can navigate through the
fucking thing.
Next up, easy one, Manchester United at home. They won’t be able to play in their red and
orange chequerboard home kit so what colour is their away kit – not grey is it?
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