FA Cup 4th Round - Millwall 1 Southampton 1

Cortese in Big Softy Shocker

Shock of the season so far this week as two days after having a right moan at the Don on Twitter, Jason Puncheon has been fined, forgiven and put back in the first team squad.  It's a bit of a result for Punch who I was expecting to find himself swimming with da fishes.  He's been given a squad number which would have been 666 but only two numbers are allowed so he’s gone with 42 which as readers of The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy will know, is the answer to Life the Universe and Everything.  It would be ironic indeed if Punch did in fact provide the answers to get us winning consistently again.  He was on loan at Millwall last year and on hearing the news of his unlikely resurgence, their fans would have been saying “sods law, he’ll score”.  We’ll see.

So, Punch is available, Tadanari Lee is available, Sir Rickie is available and positive noises are being made about Chappers, Barney, Jose Fonte and Radhi the Train.  So – with our 7 new signings (and without Jonno Pace who has been farmed out on loan to Notts County where he will be very fast) we’re off to Millwall for the FA Cup 4^th Round.

Our Youth team got a bit of a wake-up call in the week, playing Notts Forest in the FA Youth Cup and getting belted 5-1.  Reading the reports, 5-1 was a bit flattering but they were clinical in front of goal and we weren’t and it proves that the Forest Youth team is too low down the chain to have been influenced by Steve Cotterill as yet.  Normally I’d be expecting James Ward-Prowse and maybe Luke Shaw to play today but it’ll be interesting to see what Nigel does.  We’ve got Cardiff in the league on Tuesday night which is massive but we have a load of senior players coming back from injury and needing a run out and in Lee and Falque we have 2 players who need to get used to English football.

In the end, predictably, Nigel went for mix and match with Bart in goal and Danny Fox pressed into appearing at centre back alongside Aaron Martin.  Ben Reeves was in the centre of midfield alongside Deano and Lee Barnard got his first start in about a year up front.  On the wings were the recovered Steve de Ridder and the resurrected Jason Puncheon.  Rumours that Saints had ensured Millwall had a reinforced substitutes bench were confirmed with the Return of the Jaidi alongside Tadanari Lee, Luke Shaw, James Ward-Prowse and Jack Stephens.  Nigel's pre-match interview had somethign wrong with it and it appeared to be on some sort of loop - either that or he said 'together as one' fifteen times in quick succession.

Millwall had their first choice team out and like the Coventry game in the last round, our unfamiliarity resulted in a ropey start in which we nearly went behind and Liam Feeney’s shot clattered the post and bounced out.  After 10 minutes we had another go at conceding as a corner was missed by all and Harry Kane managed to put it over the bar from practically in the goal.   Kane has been lent to Millwall by Harry Redknapp so he can make all his mistakes for someone else, a bit like Yago Falque in his loan to us).

A full 7 minutes go by before we try to concede again as Fox got beaten to a hoof forward by Darius Henderson, a player who blurs the line between footballer and all-in wrestler.  His subsequent chip looked to be sailing in until Bart took off and flipped it over the bar.  Surely Aaron Martin has to be picking up Henderson.

Of the returning players, Punch is easily the best, combining work ethic with some decent touches.  Steeeeeeve is struggling to get into it on the other wing and I wonder (as I often do) why we are playing the left footed Punch on the right and the right footed Steeeeeeve on the left.  We have a dose of severe Meringtitus as Barnard gets a chance but takes one touch too many before his effort is blocked.  “Just for the listeners... For me, he’s taken too long there”.  It’s a sign though that Saints are improving and Sir Rickie goes close with a free kick which whistles just wide and smacks the post behind the goal that holds the net up.

Nigel decides to swap the wingers onto their natural sides and within 30 seconds we take the lead as Reeves picks up a pass from Punch and then slides a ball in between the centre back and full back which Harding reaches and whips in a first time cross which Sir Rickie meets at the near post and almost places home with his head.  Not really deserved on the balance of play but we’ll take it thanks.

The final quarter of an hour of the first half saw Saints settle and begin to pass the ball around with Ben Reeves showing up well in midfield.  Big Bad Dave on the Mic was bigging up Aaron Martin’s contribution in handling the Henderson threat and all was looking fine.  Punch was getting booed by the crowd which worried me a bit but it turns out it was the Millwall massive who were giving him stick and not our lot.  Half time, 1-0 up, happy days.

The second half starts and after 5 minutes I realise that only one Saints player has been mentioned by the commentators and it’s Aaron Martin.  It seems that being the main man in the centre of defence has made the boy into a man as he attacks every ball, leaving Danny Fox to sweep in behind.  The one man defensive unit does it’s job and Saints have a half hearted shout for a penalty when Sir Rickie is pushed, prompting a Merringtitus of ‘You know what….’  followed by a long pause which never sounds great on the radio.

On the hour mark, the largely ineffective de Ridder is replaced with Lee Holmes and two minutes later, Tadanari Lee is on in place of Lee Barnard.  All is quiet as we await the Millwall stadium announcer making a complete bollocks of pronouncing his name but fair play, the bloke’s done his homework and nails it.  A sub for Millwall and Kane is replaced with former Saint Dany N’Guessan – will we boo or cheer?.. neither, we don’t care aside from the nagging doubt that he’ll discover levels of footballing excellence that were completely beyond him when he played for us.

Millwall have gone into ‘launch it’ mode and lots of bombs are landing in our area, in the main dealt with by Aaron and Bart who does particular well to shovel one inswinging corner over the bar.  Liam Trotter is having a decent match in midfield for them but often his decent build up play is not capitalised on by the forwards.  To be honest, we look pretty comfortable out there.

In his first start for a year, Punch has lasted well but he’s blowing out of his arse by the 73^rd minute when he’s taken off to a decent ovation from the Saints fans and replaced with Luke Shaw, making his debut on the left wing – that’ll be another £3 million please Arsene or better still - fuck off!

Last week I repeated an opinion that Lee Holmes is great when the game is won but not so great when the pressure is on.  More evidence for the prosecution as he ran though and saw his shot blocked when he really should have squared it for Sir Rickie.  The ball was returned by Sir Rickie to give Holmes a free header from 5 yards which he put wide.   It really was a sitter as the keeper was over the other side but his header was so wide it didn’t even hit the side netting. 

There was an unavoidable feeling that this miss was going to cost us and so it proved as Millwall went straight up our end and a Feeney cross from the left was chested down by Henderson and he managed to hook it over his head, wrong-footing Bart in the process and the ball plopped into the net for 1-1.  It’s hard to tell whether he actually meant it but he’s scored a few recently so you have to give him the benefit f the doubt.  Matters not a shit in the long run whether he meant it or not.

Rats.  It’s always a pain when you concede an equalizer with 5 minutes to go but to be fair, which I’m not often, overall it’s the right result.  There are a lot of positives to be taken from today with Sir Rickie being back, Barney getting an hour, Punch getting rehabilitated, Luke Shaw getting on and Tadanari Lee finding out a bit about English football.  Nigel didn’t seem too downbeat afterwards and he had at least got out of his ‘together as one’ obsession.

Sunday brought the draw for the 5^th Round and if we dispose with Millwall, we have another glamour tie with Bolton coming to SMS which will be live on TV in the Ukulele Channel in the Cook Islands.  My initial reaction was ‘dull draw’ but when I thought about it - I think this is a decent draw as they’re a bottom-end Premiership side who have some decent players but we can do them.  It’s a decent test but why not?  The bottom line is that we’re two home wins from a place in the 6^th Round.

Cardiff at home on Tuesday in a massive game for the League campaign.  Nigel has some selection dilemmas and I have a feeling that a couple more of our injured players will have a chance of featuring.  One thing that will help though – I anticipate that Punch will start and if he misses a chance or misplaces a pass, I hope the ‘quick to judge’ element of the SMS crowd can think about the effect that having a pop might have before they do it.  Likewise, think of the effect of a decent chorus of ‘one Jason Puncheon’ during the warm-up.

Finally – whoever decides on the playlists at SMS... you played it last week before the Leicester game and I cringed... so as it will be Tadanari Lee’s first appearance at SMS, please don’t play ‘Turning Japanese’ on Tuesday.  It’s a song about wanking.

Pompey - Seriously (sort of)

This is probably out of date by the time you read it.... I kept adding bits to it thought I'd better stop before it ended up as total disorganised rubbish (as opposed to partially disorganised rubbish).  Also... it's impossible to summarize the whole story.  So, having got all my excuses out the way....

At the start of the Leicester crap defeat blog, I was talking of floating unpleasant things floating in the Solent.  Yes, it’s time to talk about Pompey again though unlike the detritus floating in the Solent, Pompey have always seemed to be the turd that will not flush, no matter how much paper, water or other turds you put on top of it.

This weeks’ news is that Pompey’s prospective new owner, Joseph Cala, the Sicilian Man from Atlantis with the Underwater Hotels which don’t exist, has pulled out of the purchase.  This is a shame from one point of view because he sounded hilarious, wanting to buy it because it reminded him of Pompeii, the city that was buried by a volcano.  Just as hilarious was an argument on Twitter between Cala and Brian Howe, another potential owner which was in full swing until the Twitter version of Cala turned out to be someone else entirely, thus not making Mr Howe look particularly bright, expending time and energy arguing with someone even less credible than the real Joseph Cala.

So, where are we?  Well, as far as the football club is concerned; despite their last 6 months and a load of new players having been funded with probably laundered Lithuanian and Latvian money and despite them having no money to pay their players this month and despite their parent company being in administration with no income from anywhere else coming in.... they still haven’t been deducted points yet.  The question on everyone's lips is of course....why the fuck not? 

Apparently, the League are making up their mind as to whether CSI and Pompey are inextricably linked?  My arse they’re not!  Lets face it, the Skates have an administrator in effect as the parent company currently has nothing else besides good old PFC – despite what anyone of a Skate persuasion may say, it is EXACTLY the same situation as with Saints a few years back.  They are being controlled by Admin Andy, the Greek God of Questionable Practice who found them their last saviour.  There was some vague assertion put forward that the Football Club was being controlled by the Board but you’ve only got to listen to the gathering depression that is their Chief Exec Mr Lampitt to realise that this is bollocks. So come on Football League, get it done and get those points wiped off.... about 20 seems about right.

Pompey Chief Exec and former Head of Integrity (ha ha ha) at the FA Mr Lampitt, gave a remarkable interview on Saturday in which he attacked the Portsmouth Evening News for a story stating that Pompey owed £1.6m to the tax man before calming down and admitting that they did in fact owe £1.6m to the tax man.  This is what’s known in the interview trade as ‘Doing a Cotterill’.  He also stated that they were dependent on the parent company for money and they’d chosen to pay their players and not pay their tax bill for the past 2 months which sure is a guaranteed vote winner in these times of austerity.  This also puts Lampitt in the same bracket as Peter Storrie who was Chief Exec the last time they decided to use HMRC as a bank. 

In addition, they haven’t even started paying the 20p in the pound CVA they agreed last time (which wiped about £70 million off their debt in a kind of ‘tough shit, you’re not having it back’ kind of way), haven’t paid back the small creditors in full like they promised (including charities and schools) and it turns out that they knew (from the 3^rd January apparently) that there was a Winding Up Petition from HMRC on the way and (wait for it)...a week later they signed a new player, even if it was a cheap one who had just come out of prison.  Their argument is that they released a high wage earner (Relegation Hreidarsson) and signed a player on a lot less but the fact is that Hreidarsson wasn’t playing so didn’t need ‘replacing’ as such.  Also, even if they’re only paying the ex-con ten quid a week, it’s money the taxman could do with. ..... and they call us Scum?!?

Meanwhile, Milan Mandaric, Harry Redknapp and the Ghost of his late dog have gone to court having been charged with tax evasion regarding questionable financial irregularities that all happened when they were Chairman, Manager and Manager’s Dog at guess which club.... ?

a) Portsmouth,

b) Pompey,

c) The Skates. 

Rosie (for that was the dog) apparently is dead now though it is unconfirmed whether she choked whilst trying to eat a tax return. So, it’s all happening at once – approximately 10 years of slightly dodgy shit all hitting the fan at the same time.

The way I see it is that Pompey have a Winding up Petition from HMRC.  The only options they have regarding the WUP is pay it in full, be liquidated or go into administration yet again.  I don’t reckon they’ve got £1.6 million behind the sofa (unless they borrow the sofa that Rosie 47 used to sit on).  The sofa option is all they are left with as a WUP means that you can’t use your bank accounts, hence they’ve asked for cash-only payments for their next home game, blaming that on a system glitch (you couldn’t make it up – but they do).  The cash only rule implies that their player may well be paid in brown paper bags at the end of January.  At least doing it that way means the tax bill will be less I guess.  Going into administration would be fraught with danger as HMRC would be the main creditor and they are not going to agree to a reduced payment so it would just delay the inevitable. 

Usually of course, you would expect the parent company to pay the bills for them but they can’t because they’re in administration because assets are frozen as the owner is in jail for alleged money laundering.  Failing that, you would expect the loan shark who is the main creditor of the parent company to put some money in to keep it going but he’s refusing for now to throw more good money after bad. 

A WUP means the company (Pompey) can’t be sold... well actually it appears they can be but HMRC are in control in that they have final approval.  (Act of insolvency.... points deduction... come on Football League..!!!).  The other option of course, is to raise £1.6 million by selling players and playing the kids in the first team but even that has complications as you’re not supposed to trade whilst under a WUP and I also read somewhere that any money from player sales should go to the creditors who were shafted by the last CVA (I don’t know if that’s true or not)...  Selling players and trying to raise £1.6million seems the best option they have at this moment in time so best get to selling players then Mr Lampitt and while you’re at it, try not to sign any more, even if they have just come out of prison.

I’m only really concerned about football to be honest and do not want them to go out of business.  As I’ve said before, I have loads of mates who are of the blue persuasion and their kids all proudly wear their colours and that’s fine with me.  I’d prefer the see those kids wearing Pompey shirts than Man Utd or Chelsea etc as it least it shows an affinity to a local team that their parents and grandparents probably supported – I like all that.   I do however want the Football league to do what’s right though and hit them hard with a points penalty – one that actually has an effect unlike the last one.  This has no effect at all on Saints as it won’t make any difference to us this year if Pompey get docked points or not, in fact, it would be better for us if they folded as the teams around us would lose more points than ourselves.  My stance is solely to do with the integrity (that word again) of the competition though I admit that a bit of my motivation may be for giggles.  If they get walloped with a meaningful points deduction (see Luton Town) then I’ll be happy that football justice has finally been done.

Sadly though (and I do genuinely mean that) I don’t think points deductions are going to be an issue for anyone however because this time, I really can see no way out for them.  After last time, they have definitely picked the wrong enemy.  You don’t fuck with the tax man once, let alone twice and especially when  a) you fucked him over for about £40 million quid a couple of years back and b) it’s clearly stated that the taxman doesn’t like the special rules that seem to exist for football clubs.  The stupidity of not paying tax and inviting the WUP is beyond belief really.

PS... since I wrote this, having gone away with abuse ringing in his ears from both Pompey and Admin Andy, the Man from Atlantis has come back on the scene and is making noises about buying them again.  If by some miracle this happens, we’ll all be back here again in next to no time.

By the way - a sincere 'good luck' to the supporters groups who are trying to make a difference – you have taken on one mother of an uphill battle but fair play to you for trying.

NPC Match 27 - Southampton 0 Leicester 2

.... we could be Pompey

Monday night, a rubbish night for football and we’re playing Leicester City at home who spent a fortune in the summer under managerial genius and blog-writers dream, Sven Goran Eriksson. Despite having a decent collection of players, they’ve been pretty poor and as a result, unsurprisingly, Sven isn’t there anymore which means I’m going to have to work a lot harder to find things to take the piss out of. Replacing Sven with Nigel Pearson meant that Leicester not only got a well-thought of ex-Saints manager but also, someone who has never shared his secretary with his boss.

Talking of ex-Saints managers (though not so well thought of), ‘Arry Redknapp has helped us out by signing winger Yago Falque from Juventus and then immediately loaning him to us for the rest of the season. Falque sounds like a decent prospect, who will hopefully enable Nigel to play proper wide men in all games, instead of shoe-horning in either Morgan or Corky to play on the wing whilst Chappers and de Ridder are recovering from injuries. The signing also gives the cynical amongst us the opportunity of trying to guess ‘Arry’s angle for helping us out. Another positive bit of Saints news was that Tadanari Lee’s red tape issues were all but resolved and he’s free to join us when the final i’s are dotted and t’s crossed which is likely to be in time for the FA Cup 4th Round next week. We’re away to Millwall who got through after hammering Dagenham 5-0 in their 3rd Round Replay.

We have also, in one of the most hilariously badly advised attacks in history, seen Jason Puncheon take to Twitter to attack Don Nicola Cortese, basically blaming the Don for him being banished from the first team squad and training with the kids. Tell me Jason – what happened to prompt this behaviour from the Don? I expect that he did it for nothing... rumour has it that it has something to do with being dropped in favour of the guy who was the best player on the pitch in the Arsenal v Man United game yesterday. Actually Punch, the answer to that doesn’t matter as I’m sure you’ll find that you don’t fuck with the Don.

In other news, ex-Saints and ex-useless thieving little git Nathan Dyer has been mentioned in terms of a possible England call up. I have been reminded that I said when he left that I would run naked into the sea at Weston Shore with my mouth open if this ever happened. My caveat was though it had to be Dyer AND Bradley Wright-Phillips in the England squad so I can’t see me doing that any time soon.

I wrote a paragraph here on the Skates latest predicament but have decided to remove it because it deserves an entry of its own and I don’t want to sully our match with talk of the Tax Dodging Insolvent Cheating Bastards.

Saints went into the weekend knowing that by the time we played, we were unlikely to be top for the first time in four months and this was a near certainty given that West Ham needed just a point from a match at home to Steve the Bumpkin and his Nottingham Forest all stars. Sure enough, a feast of flowing hoofball from Allardyce and Cotterill resulted in a 2-1 win for West Ham courtesy of two dodgy penalty decisions. Cardiff closed to within a point of us by beating the Skates (useless fuckers!!!) 3-2 in the last minute. I actually groaned when the Skates conceded, unlike my usual reaction of jumping up and down, shouting ‘GET IN THERE YA BASTARDS’ and scaring the cat and children.

Remarkably, my seat of the pants trip from work in Brighton had seen me actually arrive at SMS early. The Saints team announcement confirmed what I’d suspected in that Adam Lallana was out injured and Yago Falque was in. The rest of the team was as expected with a very makeshift looking right hand side of the team featuring Cork and Harding. The bench saw the return of Frazer Richardson which made me wonder why he wasn’t starting. Leicester have a team full of decent names with quite a few of them having played in the Premiership before. Up front they have David Nugent who was a flop at the Skates (aside from costing them a fortune) but was good enough once upon a time to earn an England cap. Jermaine Beckford was the other striker who stunk the place out when he played for Leeds here two years ago and Radhi spend the game treating him like a little bitch. Other notables were Matt Mills, an ex-Saint who Sven paid £5million for, Paul Konchesky who last year was playing for Liverpool and not so long ago England and Neil Danns who is a player I wish we’d bought when he left Palace.

The opening 10 seconds of this match gave an indication that this wasn’t going to be an easy game as Leicester moved forward as a unit and we really didn’t. The next five minutes saw them keeping the ball and us giving it away with Danns and Wellens running the midfield and us trying to get Falque on the ball and failing. Leicester are closing us down quickly and consequently the defenders are having to pump it long and none of the midfield are getting on the ball.

Falque eventually touches the ball after 10 minutes and sends over a decent cross which Connolly just failed to get on the end of beyond the back post. Any goal kick or drop kick from Kaspar Schmeichel is landing on the edge of our penalty area where Big Jos or Aaron Martin are winning it but it’s dropping down into the midfield where we are just not at the races as Danns picks up virtually every ball and constantly feeds Dyer who takes on Harding at every opportunity who suddenly looks very much what he is.... a left back who wishes he was anywhere other than at right back.

We’re creating nothing on our own but we don’t need to as Danns has a shocker and passes straight to David Connolly who is totally free about 20 yards out. Fear of the incoming Matt Mills sees him take the shot early and it’s rubbish – a back pass which Schmeichel just picks up.

Entirely expectedly, Leicester take the lead on 25 minutes as a player I can’t immediately identify, breaks into the vast open grasslands of our right back area, cuts inside and curls a superb shot into the far corner of the net. The horror then hits me – “that was fucking Nugent wasn’t it”. The resigned nod from my Dad confirmed the worst as Nugent pulled out the knee slide in front of the Itchen. Can’t criticize a player for that… class goal it has to be said…. Bastard it has to be said.

Stunned into action, we did nothing and following a corner, centre back St.Ledger skipped easily past Martin on our right before sending in a perfect cross to the totally unmarked Matt Mills who thumped his header past Superkelv for 2-0. At this precise moment I could see us losing about 5-0 as Leicester looked different class and we looked diabolical.

Big Jos and Aaron Martin began getting to grips with Nugent and Beckford and Deano steamed into a few tackles in midfield to at least remind Danns and Wellens that we had a midfield. Jos pulled out a wonderful tackle to deny Dyer who was clean through again before Deano should have pulled one back though as Fox delivered a free kick into the box, Schmeichel came and stopped leaving himself in no-mans-land and left Deano with half the goal to aim at with his header which he plopped wide.

As half time approached we had another great chance as Morgan cut in from the left, passed up the chance to shoot which he maybe should have taken and played it square to the onrushing Cork who kept up his record for today of not kicking the ball in the right direction once, by lashing it over the bar. It was pretty crap from both players as one should have had a shot and the other should have kept the bloody thing down.

Half time was upon us and in keeping with the entertainment dished out in the first half, the soup which my Dad had brought with him had the colour and consistency of vomit with shredded chicken, sweetcorn and diced carrots. It was warm though. Whilst drinking the vomit mixture I pondered that Leicester, for all their domination had had less goal chances than we’d had but as we know, missing chances gets you jack shit. It did make me think though that maybe we could get back in it with a fast start to the second half. Chuckle Brother wisdom was in short supply but I did notice that the Moronic one was wearing a deerstalker hat with a cap perched on top of it and two pairs of glasses… perhaps he thinks he’s both Chuckle Brothers and has to wear two of everything.

My anticipated introduction of Frazer didn’t happen and for that and many other reasons, my optimism went to shit as we started badly. Leicester looked completely in control and we responded to their closing us down by sending long punts up to Guly who unsurprisingly, was winning nothing. When we do pass the ball, it’s sideways and backwards and not being moved quick enough to pull Leicester out of position. Harding is having a mare on the right as Dyer has completely sussed that he can’t kick it with his right foot so every time he gets the ball it’s switched onto his left foot and then wellied.

We have a chance for a second when Connolly has a chance to lob the keeper but sadly, Kaspar is taller than 1 foot 6 so the shot was never going to go over him. We threaten from a Fox right wing free kick which is met by Deano who gets it on target this time but Kaspar flaps it out as the Chapel End half-heartedly appealed that it had crossed the line.

Another 15 minutes of nothing and it’s time for Nigel to make a substitution to get us back into the game and de Ridder comes on for the ineffective Falque who has quite frankly had a debut to forget. He hasn’t been crap but he’s just not done anything, never seeming to know where to run to receive the ball, I see this substitution as a positive move but bringing on Holmes for Hammond is a bad one as he had been playing better than both Cork and Schneiderlin who had both up until this point, been shocking. Deano usually gets taken off when we need to keep the ball a bit better but today’s problem was that we never had the ball in the first place.

It’s nearly 3-0 as the ref buys a Wellens dive and Konchesky curls a lovely free kick onto the inside of the post, which pings across the penalty area and away to safety. We finally get Frazer on the pitch with 20 minutes to go but it only happens at the expense of Big Jos pulling up with a hamstring injury. The resulting reshuffle sees Harding mercifully moved to left back, Frazer to the right and Danny Fox filling in at centre back.

In amongst the complete Leicester cakewalk to victory, we do create a couple of half chances as de Ridder is brought down and Richardson gets on the end of Fox’s free kick but volleys over at the back post. Lee Holmes has an effort to when he finally gives up on trying and failing to get past the full back and gets himself a yard on the edge of the box before curling his effort badly wide. We’re still trying to play from the back but it’s not working and all that happens is Superkelv continually putting the full backs in the shit by passing to them but only when they have a Leicester player up their arse.

It’s petering out and Leicester are now in cruise control as we huff and puff – well, most of us do and Guly’s mind is on a beach in Brazil somewhere. Mind you, who can blame him for getting pissed off with the quality of ball he’d been receiving all game. The crowd give Nugent some stick but what’s the point? If I was him, 2-0 up with a minute to go and I’d scored a great goal, I’d be loving it if the crowd were calling me a wanker. As the full time whistle went, I was irritated by the booing that rang around the ground. I’ve long given up though on our fans having a sense of perspective and an appreciation of where we’ve come from in the relatively recent past. As we walked down the steps, I was more or less alone in the Kingsland in clapping the players for their efforts, which doesn’t make me a better fan than anyone else but come on, the boys in red and white put in a shift and they tried but they just weren’t good enough.

Hmmmm – lots to talk about. I see the gate was officially over 21,000 but there was no way that many in the ground. A lot of Season ticket holders obviously didn’t bother today. If this had been a Saturday game I’d have expected 24,000. Monday night and Sky really didn’t do us any favours there.

When all is said and done it was a pretty abysmal performance. Plan A of passing the ball didn’t work because we didn’t fight hard enough to make it work and Plan B of sending it long was never an option because of the absence of Sir Rickie which brings us to our missing players. Sir Rickie, Fonte, Lallana, Chappers and a fit Frazer would all have started tonight which excuse or not, is definitely a factor when you have half your first choice team missing.

England were rubbish at he last World Cup, partly because they had players in the wrong positions. They got away with it in qualifying as they were playing against poor sides but against the good boys they got found out. It’s the same with Saints – we’ve got away with it against Forest and Coventry because they are both dire. Leicester, regardless of their league position, are different gravy entirely and Harding at right back was ruthlessly exposed. They gave us two warnings before scoring two goals from that wing and Nigel should have reacted quicker, either moving Corky to right back or bringing on Frazer earlier. Better still, start with Frazer and then take him off when he gets tired. I don’t blame Harding at all for this as he was doing his best in a position he is totally unsuited for.

Also, you aren’t going to win many matches with half your team individually having poor matches. To me, Morgan, Corky, Aaron Martin and Connolly were all very poor and Guly joined them in the 2nd half after doing ok in the first. Falque looked like a rabbit in the headlights not knowing where to run – if there had been lorries driving around then he’s have got run over. It immediately makes you question if a player totally new to English football should have been thrown in to the first team without so much as a reserve game or a cameo off the bench. I see his name is actually Yago Falque Silva... did we take him on after a phone call claiming to be from David Silva who said his cousin was a decent player…. Maybe evoking memories of Ali Dia is a bit harsh.

I thought Foxy, Jos and Deano were ok today and two of them ended up getting substituted for one reason or another. Of the subs, de Ridder didn’t look fit and it took us ages to get the ball out to him. As I’ve thought for four years, Lee Holmes just isn’t good enough – he’s great when he gets brought on and the game is already won (Watford 4-0, Forest 3-0) but he does nothing when it matters.

The league table no longer has us at the top with West Ham now 3 points clear and Cardiff, who are up next in the League at SMS, just a point behind us. Nigel Adkins interview suggested that some or all of Sir Rickie, José Fonte, Chappers and Tadanari Lee would be available for the next game which offsets Big Jos joining the casualty list. Of course it’s FA Cup 4th Round time and will we play kids or will we try and get a bit of fitness into the legs of the returning players. Personally, I expect Sir Rickie and Tadanari to play with possibly Radhi Jaidi replacing Big Jos at the back.

Perspective… look it up and after that, read the headlines about that lot 17 miles down the road.

Keep the faith.... COYR!!!

NPC Match 26 - Nottingham Forest 0 Southampton 3

Cotterill speaks: 'oooof it farwaaard to Maaaaarlon

Forest away today but first, the news. Since our last game, Tadanari Lee has got the necessary work permit approval from the FA and now it’s down to the Department of Employment to rubber stamp it. Getting past the FA is allegedly the tricky one when it comes to work permits and it transpired that we were knocked back originally as he’d only played in 10 of Japan’s 20 competitive internationals in the last 2 years and not the 15 required. I guess the fact that he’s played in the last 10 was what swung it in the end. These rules only apply if you’re not a big club as Man United and Liverpool regularly sign American reserve goalkeepers who have played as many internationals as me.

Celtic manager Neil Lennon has confirmed that we put a bid in for Gary Hooper who played for Nigel Adkins at Scunthorpe. He’s very high profile now, scoring for fun in the SPL which should bring a note of caution due to the standard of the football. For example, his strike partner Anthony Stokes scores loads up there but did nothing for Sunderland and nothing on loan spells at Sheffield United and Palace. He’s only scored goals at Falkirk, Hibernian and Celtic – are you seeing a pattern here? Hooper looks decent though and it would be a bit of coup if we could get him in.

To today - those of us of a certain age will always associate Nottingham Forest with Brian Clough and Saints visiting the City Ground and invariably getting beat. It’s an amusing one for me looking back as I managed to get thrown out of the City Ground once for the crime of foul and abusive language at Russell Osman. To set the scene, it was an FA Cup game, it was pssing with rain and for some reason, the roof of the stand we were in was designed specifically to let all the rain in. We were 1-0 up in the 80th minute and thanks to a Stuart Pearce inspired Forest, managed to be losing 3-1 as we got into the last minute. We got a throw in and Russell came across to take it, right in front of me. Before he took it, he put his hands through his luxurious hair to make sure it was in place. I can’t remember what I said exactly but it had lots of nasty words in it. I do however remember the hand on the shoulder and being escorted out by two stewards, soaking wet, in the 92nd minute, when a lot of the Saints fans had left already. Those who were around me gave me a standing ovation as I left, which was a nice touch.

Anyway, maybe it’s a sign of how far Forest have fallen but in the seat that used to be occupied by the aforementioned legendary Clough, now sits Steve Cotterill who, as we know from following his career at The Skates, is not a great manager and gives very amusing ‘a West Country village somewhere is missing its idiot’ post-match interviews. It’s always been a mystery to me how so many managers fail everywhere they go and keep getting decent jobs? They’ve had it so tough at Forest recently that unbelievably, they pine for that horrible little shit Billy Davies who had them up the top end of this league but then, I’d pine for Billy Davies if I’d subsequently been subjected to Schteve McClaren and Cotterill as replacements. Cloughie would be turning in his grave. Cotterill’s line up included a new big centre forward in Marlon Harewood so we knew from the team sheet what was coming and it would be hoooooooof. Surely though, Cotterill would look at the fact that Hooiveld and Martin are 12ft 8 between them and come up with a plan B.

There was concern in my head about who we’d have playing with virtually all our strikers being injured or suspended. As it turned out, we were able to pair the wee Irishman with the big Brazilan. The midfield saw Corky on the right hand side with Deano, Morgan and Adam Lallana in their usual positions. The back 4 saw Dan Harding retained at right back following his decent performance in the FA Cup at Coventry with the aforementioned giants in the centre and Foxy on the left. Superkelv was back in goal.

Away we go and the game soon settles into a pattern with Saints attempting to pass and move and Forest getting the ball and hoooooof. The first two chances of the game are shared as Deano finds loads of space on the edge of the box and fires one in, forcing a save from Camp and then Tudgay attempts a lob from a Harewood pass which is comfortably caught by Superkelv.

It’s a kind of nondescript first half hour until Big Jos picks up a deserved booking for cynically fouling Tudgay who is on his way past him, having fastened onto an errant Schneiderlin cross field ball. The resulting free kick is smashed low and hard by McGugan and breaks to Harewood who has an open goal to aim at for a second but delays long enough to allow Big Jos to throw himself in the way of the shot. A minute later and we were in front as a ball out of defence is neatly and expertly flicked on by Forest captain Chambers to Cork who was in acres on the right. He cut in along the line and found the man who is always in space, David Connolly who surprised everyone by scuffing his shot into the keeper. The rebound fell to the Gulyman who smashed in into the net from about 10 yards. Get in!!!

Forest came to back in an attempt to find an equalizer before half time and won a corner following great defending by Deano. The kick was flicked on, Aaron Martin did some ball watching and Lynch climbed high at the back post and all the Forest fans went yeahhhhh... followed quickly by ohhhhhh as he headed the simple looking chance over the bar. One more alarm though before the sanctuary of the dressing room as McGugan fired in another long range free kick which Superkelv shovelled away.

It’s half time and time to fart around on the internet and yes, there’s a decent stream of the game which comes from Al Jazeera TV. Last time I saw anything from them, it was an ‘I’m still alive’ video from Osama bin Laden who interestingly, hasn’t been ruled out yet as a potential new owner for Pompey.

It all got controversial very quickly at the start of the second half as Big Jos returned another hoof forward and Chambers came steaming in on Connolly from miles away, leading with his arm, banging him in the side of the head. Deano who was the closest player to the incident, went nuts indicating an elbow and after the obligatory handbags and the accused doing the usual shrug of guilt, the ref showed the red card. I really don’t see how anyone can have any complaints about it. The question is not ‘was there intent?’, the question is ‘was it dangerous?’ and the answer is clearly yes. If you lead with your arm then you’re asking for trouble. For what it’s worth, my opinion is that Chambers is a moron and saw his opportunity to leave a marker on a forward so yeah, I reckon he meant it. Why the fuck does he need his arm up there to beat the colossus David Connolly in the air.... he's about 5 foot 3.  On the line, the Bumpkin has completely lost it, jumping up and down and pointing and shouting at the Saints bench from the safety of being behind several people. Apparently he was having a go at Jim Stannard who is our keeper coach and is a big lad so it would have been a laugh if he’d got to him.

As is always the way with incidents like this, Connolly is of course, now being booed for getting smacked in the face by an idiot and he starts a move which continues with Lallana flying down the wing and crossing, Connolly stepping over it and Guly showing the killer instincts of vegetarian in an abattoir as he lashed it horribly over the bar.

The second goal will surely be only a matter of time and that time is now as we work it across from left to right before Harding switches onto his left foot and delivers in to the box which Morgan gets a bit of a lucky flick on and guess who’s found the right place to be? 2-0 and the Irishman should apply to be the next Sherriff of Nottingham, given his popularity at this precise moment.

The Gulyman is having a rest as the game goes on, kind of sat on his bum in the centre circle. It looks like a repeat of the bum injury suffered in the Brighton game and he’s off to be replaced by Lee Holmes. It makes no difference to our attacking play though as Lallana feeds Deano who rolls it into the path of Morgan. Whilst everyone behind the goal covers their faces and hopes the ball doesn’t hit them, Morgan takes aim and with my gag last week about paintballing raging through his mind, smashed it into the bottom corner from 30 yards. To be fair, the keeper should have stopped it but it’s a great strike.

The rest of the game is basically target practice with Saints against Lee Camp. Firstly, Lallana feeds Holmes who curls in a superb left footed shot which Camp claws away at full stretch. He then tips over a Deano piledriver from the edge of the box before saving again from a deflected Danny Fox shot. He doesn’t need to save the next one as Connolly’s flick header finds Aaron Martin at the back stick who plays a horrible air shot which as we’re 3-0 and the game is nearly over, is actually quite funny.

Final whistle and happy days are here again. Make no mistake; this was a quality result playing some quality football. I know Forest are in the bottom three but then so were Doncaster and Bristol City and we lost to both of them. I guess the difference was that both those two sides had spirit and a manager who was getting something out of the team. The much anticipated post-match Village Idiot interview didn’t disappoint as he said the interviewer was harsh for saying that Saints were the better side throughout, just before he admitted that Saints were the best team when Forest had 11 and the best team when Forest had 10. He had a moan at the ref for not giving them a free kick for nothing just before the red card and he had a moan about our bench getting the player sent off. Steve, I reckon it may have been your player leading with his arm and banging Connolly in the head that got him sent off. Nigel was a happy boy, pointing out that we’ve now played 2 games without Sir Rickie and won them both. I must say that Nigel appears to have the ability to learn from mistakes – playing Corky on the right is much better than playing Morgan there. Jack is more adaptable for starters and has played a lot at right back so is more comfortable in the wide areas.

The sending off was not the turning point in this game as we more or less dominated it from the off. The turning point came a couple of months back when Forest loaded the gun and then took aim at their own foot and pulled the trigger by appointing Cotterill. Joking aside, we won this easily and but for Lee Camp it could quite easily have been 6-0 at the end. Forest looked like a team that is heading down to League 1 which they should not be with the players they have. Draw your own conclusions on that one.

We stayed at the top of the league with Middlesbrough losing at home to Burnley and Cardiff drawing at Doncaster. West Ham managed to win 1-0 but the fact that it was against the Skates is a bit of a consolation. No doubt we will be dislodged from the top of the league next week for a couple of days as West Ham are at home to ..... wait for it ..... Nottingham Forest (come on Steve Cotterill, managerial genius) and we don’t play until Monday against Nigel Pearson’s Leicester City who have still not recovered from the Sven inspired random collecting of players. They have a lot of good players though so on their day, they could easily put it together so it’ll be a tough one. Sir Rickie will still be suspended but Nigel seemed confident of having players back. One interesting thing will be the Gulyman’s injury. If he’s not fit, the next available striker could be the man waiting for his Department of Employment papers to come through.

The bus is back on the road. Come on Your Reds!!!

Here We Go Again

Déjà vu and here we go again, I feel that I have written this before.  I don’t really know where I’m going with this one… Do I hate the media ? Do I hate the Powers that Be in the English game or do I hate Arsene ‘Fuck Off and Develop Your own Players’ Wenger.  Yep, I hate all of them.

We have another academy player that all the big boys want.  Like Theo, Gareth and Alex before him, Luke Shaw is a target for the big guns and what can we do aside from bend over and take the money on offer.  I’m not too sure about the new EPP rules or whether they even apply yet – the report I read though, suggests that if the lad gets sold we won’t have to settle for the defined ‘development costs’ fee and that we’ll do alright out of the deal as there is more than one club wanting the lad (Man City reportedly being the other).  I don’t know what his contract situation is – I believe he’s signed a professional contract but it only comes into force when he’s 17 – no doubt there’s a fucking Arsenal clause before he’s 17 that means we’re stuffed.

We got a year out of Bale and Chamberlain and half a year out of Walcott.  Losing those players pissed me right off but if Shaw goes now, before he’s even played for the first team – that’ll be much harder to take.  I don’t know anything about the kid other than what I’ve read and I’ve never seen him play.  The fact is that I want to see him play and I want to see him play for my club, the club that found him and turned him into what he is today.

Today our youth Team have an important FA Youth Cup tie at Bolton in which Luke Shaw will be playing.  How nice of the media and whoever prompted them to bring this story out today so the lad’s got something on his mind tonight other than trying to help his team win.  It’s all about the big clubs though isn’t it!  The media have conjured up a figure of £4 million which I am 100% certain is a complete guess as I’m pretty sure neither Nigel Adkins or Don Cortese will have set a figure nor entered into any discussion whatsoever at this point.  The London-friendly media really piss me off as well, making out that we’ll do business with Arsenal because we have some sort of cosy feeder-club style arrangement with them.  Fuck off – just because they’ve lured away two of our best young players in the last 5 years, doesn’t mean we like them.  I’d say it’s more likely to be the opposite.  If we had a decent arrangement with Arsenal, you know, something that was beneficial in both directions, then surely we’d get some of their young players on loan when we need them.... no, I can’t think of any either.  At risk of going a bit Monty Python, ‘What have Arsenal ever done for us ?’.... Perry Groves, Scott Marshall, Luis Boa Morte....cheers guys, they were all years ago and they were all shite.

Football authorities - You say you want to encourage clubs to develop their academies - then why not bring in a rule stating that a player can’t move until he’s 21 if he’s at a club with a Grade A Academy.    If the player is at a Grade A Academy then by definition, another club won’t be any better for him.  At 21, the selling club can then demand what they want.  That’d stop teams like Arsenal just poaching every one else’s best kids for next to nothing and reward teams who get their Academies right.  You never know, there may be a changing of the guard with teams who get it right challenging the big boys ... oh hang on, we wouldn’t want that would we?  Another idea could be to say that the set fee for a Premiership club signing a player from another clubs academy before he’s 21 could be £15m for a 15 year old, £16m for a 16 year old, £17m for a 17 year old etc.  Get some proper compensation for the smaller clubs and spread the wealth around.  Surprise, surprise though – the new rules mean that in the majority of cases, the selling club will get less not more.

As for Luke Shaw and Saints – I have a feeling that we’ve been keeping him under wraps and assuming he’s still here, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if this lad is in the first team squad from February 1^st onwards - maybe on the left wing with Adam Lallana moving elsewhere in the side.  Maybe we’ll get half a season out of him then the media finger-in-the-air transfer fee will be about £10m.  The bigger picture is that we have this stated aim to have half of our first team players having come through the academy.  Of the current first team squad there is Adam Lallana and that’s it.  Is there much chance of that changing if all our best kids get hoovered up by bloody Arsene Wenger? I say, if we get an offer this month – turn it down, whatever it is.

It does show you though that we need to get promoted to have a chance of keeping kids like Luke for longer.   Hopefully the carrot of regular Premier League Football will outweigh playing for Arsenal Reserves at Barnet.  Mind you, I believe I said that before Alex Chamberlain’s move and though he’s hardly featured in the Premiership, he’s played and scored in the Champions League and now he’s sharing a training ground with Thierry Henry.  Bottom line is that if Luke Shaw wants to go then we’re stuffed.

I hate football sometimes.

PS – The Youth Team beat Bolton 2-1 and are now in the 5^th Round and playing at SMS in February.  Hopefully, I’ll get to see Luke Shaw play.

Go take a shit, Arsene

FA Cup 3rd Round - Coventry 1 Southampton 2

Coventry Spokesman in Defiant Mode!

FA Cup 3^rd Round day and a trip to Coventry and a real chance of progressing in the greatest Cup competition - you can stick your Champions League up your arse with its seeded draw and second chances and money money money.  Both Saints and Coventry had the greatest moments in their histories in 1976 and 1987 respectively in the FA Cup Finals of those years so, would the magic be there today?

Well... Coventry made a bit of an effort by wearing a 1987 replica kit as it’s 25 years since their day in the sun at Wembley.  I expect the idea was for them to sell thousands of these shirts to fans who would turn up in their numbers to watch the current Sky Blues and sing their painfully crap ‘Sky Blues, Shooting to win’ song.   Unfortunately, the Coventry Board had reckoned without a fan boycott of the game in protest against SISU (http://www.leagueoneminus10.blogspot.com/2011/11/npc-match-16-coventry-2-southampton-4.html).  The idea was for the Coventry fans to not go into the ground for the first 15 minutes.

We’ve had a bit of news since the Brighton game because of course, the transfer window has opened and all the speculation and lies that goes with it.  However, there are some facts in that Ryan Dickson has gone out on loan to join up with Paul Wotton Football Genius at Yeovil.  Dicko is a decent player who hasn’t been given a chance this season so I hope he comes back having got match fit.  Back in the building but nowhere near the bus, is Jason Puncheon who has been sent back by QPR having made a contribution of 15 minutes playing time in 4 months.  Nigel says we’re going to do an MOT on him to see where he is which means we’re going to check the emissions, decide that it’s too much effort and too much money to repair and then break him up and sell his parts for scrap.

Saints turned up on the back of some ropey results and were without an away win since the League visit to Coventry when we won 4-2.  Not many of that team are here today and we line up with Bart in goal, hoping to rebuild confidence after his Blackpool tunnel-ball nightmare.  In defence we have the current first choice pair of Fox and Big Jos, augmented with Aaron Martin and Dan Harding, pressed into service at right back where he will be running backwards, back-heeling the ball up the wing.  The midfield consists of four central midfielders with Deano, Corky and Morgan being joined by James Ward-Prowse. Up front are Adam Lallana and Ryan Doble who gets the nod ahead of Jonno Pace.  Rumour has it that Jonno is being saved for the Forest game next week so we can all shout ‘Run Forrest Run’ at him as he runs aimlessly into the advertising boards at the end of the ground.  I can only assume that having played 90 minutes in the last league game, David Connolly is having a lie down somewhere.  It’s been said that this is a ‘must draw’ game as a draw will means one game less on Sir Rickie’s league suspension.

Away we go and we’re a disaster waiting to happen as Coventry fly down the wings and our midfield stands in its non-sparkling diamond formation and watches them do it.  Bart has to make a decent save from O’Donovan which must have done wonders for his confidence but it only takes 5 minutes for Coventry to score as Christie flies down the right and crosses, Big Jos heads it straight up into the air and from the resulting challenge between Aaron Martin and some bloke with a brush on his head, the ball somewhat luckily falls very nicely to McSheffrey to smash it past Bart for 1-0.

Saints are still asleep and are indebted to Bart again five minutes later as Deegan connects with a flicked on corner and it’s not looking good until Bart throws himself in the way.  Excellent save.

The Coventry hoards stampeded into the ground at this point and swelled the crowd to at least 4000, just as we abandoned the narrow midfield and went 4-4-2 with Ward-Prowse pushed up alongside Doble and Lallana going to the left wing.  The formation change saw us immediately begin to look better and Corky fired one narrowly wide from 30 yards.  There’s a story going round that when the Saints squad went paintballing, they didn’t let Morgan have a gun as his shooting is so bad.  Consequently, when he had a shot from outside the box on 35 minutes, no one was really shocked as it flew into the empty Sky Blue seats behind the goal.  The last ten minutes of the first half are even and it’s dreadful as a spectacle as we are left with the hope that Nigel can sort it out at half time.

At this point I’ve settled down in front of the radio to get Merringtitus over the airwaves and pick up pearls of wisdom on what we don’t want to do.  The second half is about to start when I’m informed that I am heading into town with my kids to buy shoes.  Oh joy of joys so instead of uninterrupted Merringtitus, I get Whispering Dave in the car whilst sorting out vital arguments about who sits where and who is using whose DS.

Saints start the second half well with Doble challenging for a ball inside the box and it falls to James Ward-Prowse who, with the goal at his mercy, plays an air shot and the chance was gone.  Ward-Prowse was involved again in the next incident as he knocked the ball past ex-Saint Martin Cranie (a player who could have had a decent career at Saints but for Whiskey George) who responded by trashing him and getting booked for his trouble.

Sam Hoskins comes on for Ryan Doble on the hour mark and immediately has an impact when he feeds Lallana who puts a beautiful cross along the ground, in between in the keeper and the defenders and straight into the path of James Ward-Prowse who buries it for 1-1.  Sat at the lights at the bottom of Athelstan Road, I manage to scrape my knuckles as I punch the ceiling of the car.  Saints are in command now and a lot is coming from Harding at right back who connects with a decent volley from 25 yards and watches the ball fizz just wide.

Ward-Prowse is replaced by Ben Reeves for the last 15 minutes and no one can be sure from that substitution if Nigel is happy with a draw or if he wants to win.  It’s all us now though as another testing left footed cross is swung in from the right by Harding and just touched for a corner by a back-peddling defender.  Foxy swings in the corner and Aaron Martin rises above a half-hearted challenge from his marker to thump in a header which the keeper makes a bit of a meal of before it rolls apologetically over the line.  Aaron’s not bothered though and he’s off behind the goal, going nuts in front of the travelling Saints fans.  Meanwhile, I’m in Clarks Shoes in the High Street, headphones in and momentarily not caring about the £100 plus that I’m about to spend on 3 pairs of school shoes.

There is just time for another kid to get on the pitch as Jack Stephens comes on at right back for Dan Harding for the last few minutes.  Coventry have nothing left to offer as the clock winds down and all is well with the world when the ref blows his whistle to end the game.

And so the mighty SFC win to go into the hat for the 4^th Round draw.  Nigel is buzzing and so he should be, a load of kids have played, two of them have scored and we won.  I must admit that I’m going to get more than the usual satisfaction level when James Ward-Prowse scores as he comes from a family of Pompey supporters.  Another one slipped through the net then boys....  Nigel’s post-match interview was about the possibilities for incoming players and re-affirming his desire to get into the Premier League, given the start we’ve had.  That was all I wanted to hear to be honest, that the club realises that opportunities like this don’t happen every day.  He also spoke of the potential outgoing of Jonno Pace and Lee Holmes as justification for them not coming on today.  I’d say the justification is that we all know what they can do and it really isn’t much, so more would be gained by throwing on a 17 year old.  When asked who we wanted in the next round, Nigel said ‘Chelsea so Corky can play at Stamford Bridge’.  This was funny for two reasons, one as Corky was with Chelsea for 14 years without making a first team appearance and because it assumed that Chelsea would dispose of The Skates in the 3^rd Round.

As for Coventry – well I repeat what I said in the blog about the league game.  I feel a bit sorry for them as they were financially in the mire and they got SISU as saviours and they’ve turned out to be worse.  We could so easily be in the same boat at them and it’s important to remember that and have a certain amount of sympathy for any club with a dodgy board and financial difficulties.... expect the Cheating Skate Bastards of course who brought it all on themselves.  Oddly, Coventry are obviously lying about the gate for some reason – saying there was 9000 in attendance when the real figure was probably half that.   It’s all a bit Iraqi Information Minister – “the rebellion didn’t happen, there were 9000 people there, and everything is fine”.   I can’t comment too much as I didn’t go but I got a text from a mate at full time which read ‘9000 my arse’.

The magic of the FA Cup has undoubtedly dimmed a little but try telling that to Aaron Martin and James Ward-Prowse who both went completely nuts when they scored.  Try telling that to Sam Hoskins, Ryan Doble and Jack Stephens who all made contributions to the first team for the first time today.  Whatever team we put out, the victory raises everyone’s spirits a bit before next week’s League trip to Nottingham Forest and Steve Cotterill who I predict, will get some stick.  As long as we’re winning the match then that’s fine.  We can’t afford another crap performance and result against a team near the bottom of the league.

Bring it on.

PS – The draw was made on Sunday for the 4^th Round and we didn’t get Chelsea who did dispose of The Skates 4-0.  Instead, we got a blockbusting tie – Dagenham & Redbridge or Millwall away.  That’s one to get the pulses racing and no one needs to get a ticket as it’s sure to be selected for live TV…. In Azerbaijan or somewhere like that.

NPC Match 25 - Brighton 3 Southampton 0

Adam El-Abd's Car Spotted at the Amex

Welcome to 2012 and Saints have the relatively short trip along the coast to Brighton.  I say “short trip” when I actually mean, short trip as the crow flies.  If you drive or use the train then you get there in about the same amount of time as it takes to get to Scotland as the roads are crap and the trains are shite.  Still, at least it’s not the Withdean... it’s the brand new £90 million Amex Community Stadium.  I’ve had rants about corporate naming of grounds before but at least Amex is a decent name, unlike King Power or Western Homes Community or whatever Colchester’s ground was called.

With the transfer window being open and all that, we’ve had a bit of news in that a Japanese striker looks like he may be joining us from Hiroshima, only he’s not Japanese, he’s Korean, well one of his parents is but he plays for Japan.  Depending on which paper you read, he’s called Tadanari Lee (his Japanese name) or Lee Chung-Sung (his Korean name) or Tadanari Oyama (his ‘alien living in Japan’ name).  I wonder who out of Nigel Adkins, Andy Crosby or Dean Wilkins speaks Japanese.  It’s looking like a done deal though with just work permit formalities to complete.  It’s a bit of a left field signing if it comes off and of course, he could be rubbish or brilliant or anywhere in between.

I was expecting a more or less unchanged side with hopefully Fonte coming back in but as it turned out, we had other problems.   The defence had Aaron Martin at centre back once more and Dan Harding came in for Danny Fox who dropped to the bench.  Morgan had managed to reach 5 yellow cards so Deano came in which I think would have happened anyway and Guly was on the right as Steeeeeve had some sort of unpublicised groin injury as it turned out.  Up front with Sir Rickie was David Connolly, making his first start for a while.  It was the bench which sent shivers down the spine with the attacking option being Johnno Pace.  Ben Reeves was also on there along with Lee Holmes and the aforementioned Foxy.  Much had been made of the fact that Brighton were down to the bare bones but if you get 5 yellow cards every week and a red card every two matches then that tends to happen.  I don’t usually mention the ref before the game but today it’s Andy D’Arsehole who is one of the worst refs in the business.

The first 20 minutes were largely forgettable but Brighton had the first incident when Adam El-Abd tried a little dive in our box.  It really should have been 1-0 to us five minutes later as following a superb passing move, Cork created a wonderful chance for Guly but he got his legs all mixed up in Bambi-on-Ice stylee and somehow scooped over the bar from 6 yards. In the build up for this chance, D’Arsehole had managed to miss a blatant body check by Cook on Harding about a second after he’d passed the ball.

Lallana was adopting a shoot on sight policy with Brezovan looking dodgy in goal but we had our own dodgy going on with Harding having a mare at left back and he’d already carted a couple of players over when he got booked for what was a 100% hard and fair tackle on Mackail-Smith who of course, rolled around like a big fucking girl who’d been shot.   Maybe the booking was for that one tackle or maybe it was for repeated fouls.  Either way, the tackle that brought the booking wasn’t a foul but was bought by a cheat.  Dan then brushed against another Brighton player who went to ground in spectacular fashion to earn a final warning lecture from D’Arsehole before he was substituted and replaced with Danny Fox.

Major controversy on 40 minutes as Connolly’s goalbound header was parried out by Brezovan for Lallana to return with interest.  It was a good foot over the line before Cook pulled out a clearance but neither referee nor linesman saw it and play went on.  We arrived at half time at 0-0 when in reality, we should have been 2-0 up.

The second half started with Sir Rickie going up for a header and being assaulted in typical Brighton fashion in the penalty area.  It has to be a penalty, there can be no other outcome but there is as D’Arsehole decides that he’s seen nothing and waves play on like the useless twat that he is.  Brighton take a long shot from the right wing and Kelvin flaps it back into play in unconvincing fashion.

On 51 minutes it all goes decidedly pear shaped as Brighton defender and well know wind-up merchant as well as a diving cheating fucker, Adam El-Abd, brings down Sir Rickie and then prevents him from getting up by holding onto him.  At this point, Andy D’Arshole, as he was 5 yards away and looking at it, really should have given us a free kick.  He didn’t of course and because of this and probably because he was still pissed about not getting a penalty, Sir Rickie gave El-Abd a little shove in the chin which of course resulted in the horrible little shit rolling around on the ground like he’d been punched.  And so it came to pass that Sir Rickie was shown the first red card of his career by Andy D’Arshole who of course, had seen the retaliation clear as day.  Adam El-Abd is an utter disgrace of a footballer – just a cheat, no other word for it.  He carried on rolling round until Sir Rickie was off the pitch.

Initially we seemed to cope with the loss quite well, leaving Connolly up front on his own with Guly breaking forward whenever possible.   Superkelv redeemed his flappyness from earlier with a decent save from Forster-Caskey who found enough space to build a fucking house in on the edge of our box. Things went further wrong on the hour mark as Guly pulled up with a pain in the arse and with everyone screaming for Holmes to come on to make a solid 4-4-1 formation, we brought on Jonno Pace to run about aimlessly.

The goal that the game didn’t need finally came on 66 minutes and it’s another one for NotsoSuperkelv to want to forget.  Lua Lua fired in a speculative pot shot and just like against Bristol City last week, Davis should have held it or parried it sideways but instead, parried it straight out of Forster-Caskey who wasn’t going to miss from there.

At one 1-0 down and your main goal threat having been sent off, what you don’t need is a mystifying substitution in which one of your other main goal threats is replaced with a kid who doesn’t have a preferred position and has never played in the league before.  I know everyone has to start somewhere but Ben Reeves, your time should not have been now.  Adam Lallana departed and bearing in mind that for one reason or another, Sir Rickie, Steeeeve and Guly weren’t on the pitch, Saints hopes of a moment of inspiration to get back into it went with him.  The moment of inspiration was to arrive three minutes later but sadly, it was wearing a blue and white shirt as Sparrow smashed in a beauty from 25 yards – 2-0 and game over.

We have a decent chance to at least make the last 10 minutes interesting as Frazer did his thing down the wing and his cross fell perfectly for Reeves but he played an air shot.  The ball carried onto Corky who wasn’t expecting it and he scooped it over the bar in crap fashion.  To add further salt into the wounds, Sparrow popped up again with 5 minutes to go to slam in a loose ball via a deflection to make it 3-0.   Jesus...

And finally, a new definition of pointless.  Brighton captain Germaine Greer who had spent the whole game chatting to D’Arsehole, trying to get players sent off and congratulating El-Abd when he managed it, decided to give Jonno Pace a bit of a slap off the ball.  This was pointless and stupid because.....
      a)      Jonno isn’t worth hitting as it can’t make him play worse

b)      Brighton have a terrible disciplinary record and are short of several players because of it

c)       There was one minute to go and the game was won.

When we played Brighton at St.Mary’s earlier on in the season and won 3-0, we did so with the help of a dodgy penalty decision when Jose Fonte was so far outside the box when he was fouled, he nearly collided with a ball boy when he went down.  The fact that we had two blatant pens not given that day and the other fact that we were already winning when it happened have been forgotten and ever since then I’ve had to listen to Brighton fans light-heartedly calling us ‘cheats’ but boy, with the aid of Andy D’Arsehole, his assistants, Craig Mackail-Smith and in particular Adam El-Abd, did Brighton get their own back today.  Would it be going too far to suggest that Poyet would have encouraged El-Abd to try and get Sir Rickie sent off, given that we’re only as good as Dagenham and Redbridge without him ?  Regardless, Rickie gave El-Abd the opportunity to act like he’d been punched and D’Arsehole did the rest.  The other big decision in the game was of course Lallana’s “goal” which of course, was a decision that we ended up the wrong side of.  I predict that goal line technology will be in place sometime in 2054 or sooner if Sepp Blatter dies.

Last year we came down to the Withdean and won and Nigel was a genius.  Everything he tried worked that day but today was the complete opposite.  Playing Harding from the start was wrong, bringing Forte on was wrong, bringing Reeves on was wrong.  Gus Poyet was quite calm afterwards though he did acknowledge that the decisions had gone for them today.  He’s in charge of one horrible team though – a decent side but I couldn’t stand watching the cheating every week.

The goal not being given and the sending off, changed the game and 3-0 is a ridiculous scoreline when you look at the balance of play over the 90 minutes.  The facts remain though that we missed sitters, our keeper coughed up the important first goal and Sir Rickie invited the possibility of getting sent off.  Also, we didn’t deal with being down to ten men as we should have due to the bench we had. and the way it was used.  On that subject,  I’ll give a shout out to Ryan Dickson who I think is a decent player and wonder why he wasn’t on the bench today as he’s better than all those that were on there aside from Danny Fox who was only on there himself to give Harding a game – didn’t that work out well !!.  I get the feeling that Ben Reeves is on the bench because he came through the Academy, not because he’s better than Ryan Dickson – maybe that’s harsh and he may be a very good player in the future but right now he just isn’t.  Taking that a step further though – haven’t we got an academy striker prospect who is better than Jonno Pace?

Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong today and guess what, we’re still top of the league but now it’s on goal difference from West Ham with both Middlesbrough and Cardiff within striking distance.  It’s no secret that we need a couple of signings to ensure that the superb start of the season is not wasted and turns into a promotion season.  Today was not a great start to 2012 and we’ll have to work out a way to score goals without Sir Rickie as he’s going to be banned for 3 matches. The only silver lining is that one of those will be next weeks FA Cup game against Coventry.  I wonder what odds you could get on Lukas Jutkiewicz making his Saints debut against the side he’s just left.  I’m sure the Echo will run a story on that one.