Listen Saan! You've got nuffink on me in the Merchant Bankah stakes. F'sure. Triffic. Innit.
I hate Spurs. I think
it’s the sense of entitlement that they seem to have, like they’re this massive
club who win everything, which of course they don’t. As the Arsenal fans sing … “you won the
league, in black and white”. Perhaps
Spurs could sing a song back at them as Arsenal haven’t won it in HD. Singing that would be a bit original though
and ‘When the Spurs go Marching In’ doesn’t really suggest they’re capable of
that. Spurs seem to spend millions every
year and the net result is that they never seem to close the gap on the Top
4. Once in memory they managed to do it
and that was with Redknapp in charge and because he didn’t win the league in
the following season he was gone. Andre
Villas-Boas was manager at the start of the season and he spunked this years
kitty up the wall on average players who are not top 4 material using the time
honoured Spurs ethos of “if it’s foreign and fancy sounding then buy it and buy
ten of them”.
Now Tim Sherwood is in charge and this may be Daniel Levy
admitting he made a mistake to fire Redknapp as Sherwood has that same annoying
Cockney Geezer persona which makes you want to throw stuff at him. It seems that everyone apart from Sherwood
knows that he won’t be there next year and whilst no one deserves to be in that
position, it can’t be denied that he’s a massive, massive helmet. He was unbearably smug when he won his first
few games but now the pressure is on he’s cracked a few times. He doesn’t seem to now how to deal with
failure as we’ve had public criticism of his players (when they lost) and a
spat with the Benfica manager (when they lost). So, what is it with Spurs and managers –
Redknapp, Villas-Boas and Sherwood. I’m
guessing that Spurs must be an ‘equal opportunities employer’ who don’t
discriminate against complete tossers.
Saints week has been a quiet one with only wild media
speculation to keep us entertained. Not
only are all our first team ‘stars’ like Lallana, Shaw, Lovren and Schneiderlin
being sold but so are players like Chambers, Gallagher and Reed. All this and Guly is out of contract at the
end of the year but no takers. Unreal. The teams are in and Jack Cork is back in
midfield but there’s no Morgan. Sir Rickie
is restored to the attack in place of Gaston who is on the bench. For Spurs, Adebayor is absent and Soldado is
up front. We’ve played Spurs three times
since we got back into the top flight and we’ve lost every time in vaguely
ridiculous fashion. We lost at White Hart Lane
last year to a ‘one man team’ effort from Gareth Bale after dominating the game
and we’ve gifted them the two games at SMS, most recently when Gazza and Big
Jos combined with devastating effect.
Away we go and Spurs make the better start, winning a corner
in the first couple of minutes which we defend by allowing Kaboul to have a
free header which thankfully is straight at King Artur who pouches it. When we attack we are trying to take
advantage of Spurs pushing up and two diagonal balls from Sir Rickie into the
space behind the right back find J-Rod fractionally offside once and completely
onside once but the lino flags anyway.
We’re getting into he game and our front three are beginning
to cause problems. The ball however is
with the King and he booms it forward and Naughton defends like a 6 year old
who is frightened of heading the ball and it bounces over him and J-Rod is
through against Lloris. The outcome is
never is doubt as he opens himself out and sidefoots it into the far corner to
make it 1-0. Easy. As a team that
usually manages 500 passes without having a shot, it’s amusing to score with a
long punt downfield.
Spurs are now rattled and we’re flying as Davis chips a ball down the right which Sir
Rickie controls masterfully. The ball is
worked infield to Lallana who skips across the top of the penalty area onto his
left foot and then scuffs a shot straight at Lloris. It’s the right hand side again that starts
things off as Stave Davis nicks the ball off Rose and off we go again. The front three are all involved and the ball
finds its way to Shaw who cuts in and shoots and it spins off Dembele’s heel, wrongfooting
Lloris and it drops just wide of the post.
From the corner we work it back infield and attack again and Naughton
has chance to clear but just stabs it to Sir Rickie who calmly holds off
Vertonghen and rolls it into the path of Lallana to fire past Lloris to make it
2-0. Get in!
Spurs respond to being 2-0 down and the natives getting
restless with Bentaleb, taking a pot shot from miles out which has King Artur
scrambling across the goal. Bentaleb is referred to as ‘English’ because he
plays for a big (well biggish) club and he’s been there for a while. Like Adnan Januzaj at Man United, he just
hasn’t decided which national team apart from England he’s going to play for yet.
We need to get to half time at 2-0 and Spurs are suddenly
doing all the attacking. Instead of
ensuring that we do get to half time, we shoot ourselves. Firstly Dejan is too weak in a challenge over
on the right and goes down under Chadli’s challenge. Yes it’s probably a foul but why risk it? His cross is totally ballsed up by Clyne who
tries to take a touch rather than just whacking it away and he presents a
chance to Eriksen who is five yards out and not going to miss. 2-1.
Despite the setback we’re straight back on the attack with
Shaw bombing down the left and playing a 1-2 with J-Rod who gets completely
binned by a late Dembele tackle. We win
a throw which goes to Corky who puts Lallana through with just the keeper to
beat. From 8 yards with a free shot you
really shouldn’t be giving the keeper a prayer but he does by smashing it
straight at him.
So, we should be 3-1 up but it’s looking more like 2-2 as a
cross comes into the box, Soldado knocks down and Eriksen eludes a lunge from
both Dejan and Jose but can’t stab the ball past King Artur. It’s all Spurs now and all hands to the pump
for us
Calum Chambers is on for Nathaniel Clyne at the start of the
second half and for Spurs, Gylfi Sigurdsson is on for Dembele. We need to put in a strong 45 minutes to win
this game but what we do is last barely 45 seconds. Lovren covers across behind Shaw and tries to
let the ball run out of play and is easily nudged off the ball by Soldado who
fires across goal to where Eriksen, totally unimpeded by Chambers, arrives and
he can’t miss, again. Shit. Just clear the fucking thing – Row Z, out of
the ground, even off for a corner, for fucks sake.
It’s now like the fucking Alamo
with both Eriksen and Soldado having shots from the inside right channel, one
of which flies wide and the other has to be pushed aside by King Artur. J-Rod has to go off having failed to run off
the effect of Dembele’s challenge and Gaston is on. Spurs have brought on Potshot Townsend, no
doubt to run down the wing very fast, check onto his left foot and then lash
it.
Nothing much happens until the 85th minute when
Potshot starts a run and tries to beat Shaw at get to the byline. Good luck with that one mate. So, Luke dumps him on his ass and starts the
counter. Lallana plays a 1-2 with
Gaston, skins the full back and lays it back to Gaston who sees his shot
blocked out to the right hand side.
Chambers crosses it back in and Sir Rickie brings it down on his chest
and fires just wide with his left foot.
Suddenly we look like a decent side again but it was just a blip.
Big Sam is on for Sir Rickie as the clocks ticks 89 and
we’re looking good for a draw. Adam Lallana has the ball and is then clearly
fouled by Rose and the ref plays on again.
We win it back and then Gaston commits a foul which is of course given
because as with all Gaston fouls, it’s stupid and late and 100% a free kick. Lloris belts the free kick forward and Jose
Fonte’s header plops down to Eriksen who pops it sideways to Sigurdsson.....
bang, FUCK IT! The sight of Tim Sherwood
dancing down the touchline like the massive helmet that he is, is a sight that
makes you want to kick the shit out of whatever is closest to you.
So we’ve done it again and found a new way to give Spurs
three points with the emphasis on ‘give’.
Two nil and we fucked it up as the song goes…. and how. It was crushingly predictable that we’d let
in a goal straight after going 2-0 up and as soon as that ball dropped to
Sigurdsson, it was going in, even before he hit it. At 2-0 up, you have to get to half time at
2-0 and then you come out in the second half and don’t take chances at the back. If the ball is in your box then you don’t
take a touch, you smash it away. If you
are under pressure near your own goal, you get rid of it rather than try and
shield it out of play. Back to basics,
clear the fucking thing. Even the 3rd
goal is a shocker as it’s a poor header from Jose and the defensive midfielders
who should be picking up that ball are nowhere, allowing Eriksen to tee up an
unmarked Sigurdsson. At 2-2 as the away
side you protect what you have in the last minute and you pick up 2nd
balls and get it the fuck away from your own goal.
JWP and Corky proved conclusively the pre-match fear that
they’d be too lightweight. They were
fine in possession but when Spurs started bossing it, we needed someone who put
a foot in and break things up. In short, we needed Big Vic and Morgan. Games like this one totally illustrate why
Big Vic was bought in. Much has been
made of our record against the top sides this season but when Vic played, we
won at Liverpool and drew at Man United. Compare that to the games he doesn’t play in
against the top boys. Maybe today we
should have played Calum Chambers as a defensive midfielder or maybe brought
Maya Yoshida on to sit in front of the back 4 and just defend. I feel a bit sorry for JWP as he’s an
attacking midfielder, ideally suited to the role that Steven Davis plays on the
right and he’s no more a defensive midfielder than Gaston or Guly.
I hate to say this – really hate to say this but Sherwood
did well. He pushed his team onto us in
the second half and we did nothing to counter it. With J-Rod struggling with an injury, we couldn’t
put the ball over the top for him to run on to.
Maybe Big Sam could have come on earlier which would have at least given
us some pace.
After this game I found myself pondering our season as a
whole. Of the ‘big’ signings we made,
only Dejan Lovren has played to full potential which is ironic as he had a
shocker today – squashed bollocks last week and just bollocks today. As touched on earlier, Big Vic would have
been vital but for injuries and Dani Osvaldo was of course a disaster. So, we’ve managed to get where we are with a
massively similar squad to last year.
It’s worth remembering that Big Vic would have dominated midfield today
and Osvaldo would have given us another option in attack – in short, we would
not have lost this game with those two available.
Nothing changes, I still hate Spurs. They won’t finish above Arsenal and will come
somewhere between 5th and 7th – same as usual. Sing your own song and as usual, your manager
is a massive helmet. This one has a
claim to be the biggest helmet of the lot.
Next up for us in the battle for 8th place is a
home game against Newcastle . Alan Pardew won’t be at the game as he’ll be
in a hotel in town somewhere while the game is going on Rumour has it that there are a few hoteliers
that remember him from when he was manager here.
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