The goal is that way and relegation is that way!
A trip to Selhurst Park to try and end our 100% 3 game run
of defeats against Crystal Palace, now managed by Tony Pulis, father of one of
the players who contributed the most to Southampton Football Club over recent
years, Anthony. He was with us for 3 years
and contributed the square root of fuck all and never even made the bench, not
even for a League Cup game. His father
however has been more successful in the game and has transformed the Palace
which was crumbling under Village idiot Holloway and has at least given them a
chance of staying up.
The Saints news this week has been all about internationals
with Adam Lallana, Luke Shaw, Sir Rickie and J-Rod all making the England squad for a friendly against Denmark . In the event, the latter two didn’t get a run
out but the second half saw Luke Shaw make his debut as a sub for Ashley Cole
and he settled in very well, getting forward and flashing some good balls
across and generally looking completely at home. England actually only started to
play when Rooney and Wilshere were removed and Adam Lallana and Danny Welbeck
came on. Sturridge continued to
frustrate and miss chances and Kaspar Schmeichel saved everything but
eventually it was Lallana who created the winner, beating a defender out wide
and chipping in a lovely left footed cross straight onto the head of Sturridge
who couldn’t miss. He should have been
sent off for that shocking goal celebration but he wasn’t. The papers made good reading in the morning
with almost all picking out Lallana as the man of the match and many pundits
being of the opinion that Luke Shaw should go to the World Cup instead of
Ashley Cole. Andy Townsend however,
picked out Raheem Sterling despite him never beating a man or delivering a
decent cross to an England
player. All this proves is that Andy is
a dick and therefore perfect for ITV Sport alongside that potato headed cretin,
Chiles.
Back to today though and Mauricio makes one change with Nathaniel
Clyne starting against his former club instead of Calum Chambers. Palace of course have Jason Puncheon in the
line-up who has signed for them permanently which probably means that his
performances have gone to shit. If he
scores today, I wonder if he’ll not celebrate out of respect for his former
team or will he give it the full arse-wipe goal celebration? Chamakh is injured and so Pulis has replaced
him with Glenn Murray so it’s as you were on the ‘tosser’ front. Howard Webb is referee so hopefully he won’t
buy all the theatricals which Murray
will no doubt bring to the party.
Surprisingly, Thomas Ince is on the bench for Palace and that useless
lump Dikgacoi is in the team – if ever there was a clearer indication of the
tactics we’re about to face then I’d like to see it.
Boom! … and a big cross is wellied up in the air from the
left wing and Boom! … Murray
tries to volley it at the goal over his shoulder and puts it in Row Z. Good old Tony Purist. Here’s some football as Corky picks out J-Rod
as he chips in a diagonal, J-Rod heads across, Morgan can’t get to it and
Deadly Davis, 6 yards out, pokes a volley which Speroni claws away. Neither Davis or Speroni would have known
someone was offside so it’s both a poor effort and a decent save.
The contrast of styles is again illustrated as Palace bomb
it down the right wing and Punch gets on the ball but Shaw just strolls in and
casually takes if off him and is gone, racing up the pitch. Lallana takes over and feeds Davis whose pass sees
J-Rod get a shot on but it’s well blocked by a defender.
The pitch looks pretty dodgy and the ball is bobbling all
over the place and you wonder if it contributed to what happened next as Corky
turned and played a ball back to Jose Fonte, fell over under the challenge of
no one and stayed down. Jose makes a
bollocks of it and Dejan has to clear but that’s incidental as Corky has done
his ankle or his knee and has to be replaced with Big Vic coming on, fresh from
flying to Kenya
and back in the week for a game which was called off.
Palace are getting some hit-and-hope crosses in but in the
main they are meat and drink to the centre halves but they do win a corner on
35 minutes. In it comes and it gets half
cleared before Morgan gets a boot to it and smashes it up in the air. Punch decides to head it back to Moxey who is
the last defender but J-Rod gambles and nicks it and is away as Moxey pulls out
of a potential red card tackle. It’s a
50-50 between J-Rod and Speroni… crunch as both slide in. J-Rod half gets up and swings a leg at the
ball and sits on his bum and watches it roll into the empty net. For me, forget all your arse-wiping
celebrations, this is goal celebration of the year as he raises both arms and
then flops onto his back. Superb
determination by Jay as he could have got injured in the tackle but he fancied
it more than the goalkeeper which is why he’s ended up with ball and Speroni
has ended up nowhere near it.
It’s nearly 2-0 and game over a few minutes later as a
Lallana cross is half headed clear and Sir Rickie brings it down and pokes an
effort with the outside of his right boot which beats Speroni but bounces back
off the post. The boomed clearance is
straight to José but he continues his uncertain match by miscontrolling and
picking up a deserved yellow card for binning Bolasie straight afterwards. Big Vic is giving encouraging signs that he’s
getting back to his best as three Palace players line up to try and get the
ball off him and all are bundled through in the usual fashion. The promising move is however butchered by a
wayward Davis
pass.
Palace win a corner at the end of the half as Bolasie takes
on Jose who deals with it. When the
tosser Jedinak stops backing into people and generally being a dick, we half
clear it out to Bolasie who brings the first save of the game out of King Artur
with a low drive through a ruck of players from the edge of the box. We have time to win a corner of our own
before half time and Adam plays it short to Shaw who brings a sharp save out of
Speroni with a first time blast. Half
time and Palace don’t really look up to much and a second goal will totally put
it beyond them.
It’s a scrappy start to the second half as Murray has an obligatory tumble in the box
and Steve Davis cynically stops a break (no snooker pun intended) by ignoring
the ball and walking into a Palace player as he tried to burst past him. Jedinak hasn’t got the brain to realise that
it’s not a good thing to do round your own box though and decides to barge
Morgan over who is trying to play a 1-2 around him. Up steps Sir Rickie and curls it just over
the bar.
The tackles are flying in now and Morgan stretches into one
and bins Jedinak who to be fair, doesn’t make a big meal of it. He’s 100% won the ball but in today’s
climate, I think everyone’s just pleased he didn’t get sent off for it. Next up is Dejan Lovren as Boalsie burst
towards our penalty area and Dejan chops him down. Clyne was coming round on the cover and
that’s the reason it was only a yellow but fucking hell, that’s a red card all
day long as there was no way Clyne was getting there and we’ve certainly been
given a favour with that one. The sense
of amusement is heightened at Jedinak stands imperiously surveying the free
kick before shatting it over the bar. I
reckon any other Palace player including the goalkeeper could have got close
than that.
Tony Purist goes to his bench and takes off Bolasie, the one
player who was a threat and replaces him with Jerome Thomas before he improves
his team no end by removing The Wardrobe and bringing on Ince and Cameron
Jerome who I will never forgive for that incredible goal he scored for Stoke
against us. The latter two subs nearly
combine as Jerome gets in down the right and slides a low ball across the face
but Clyne seems to want to defend it more than Ince wants to attack it and
clears it for a corner.
The rest of the game really peters out. There are some more examples of what a good
footballer Luke Shaw is with some great touch and powerful runs, one of which
ends with him cutting in and working Speroni again. Sam Gallagher comes on for Sir Rickie and JWP
is on for Davis . There is one minor alarm as Jerome gets in a
header which Artur catches one handed without spilling a drop of vodka but it’s
offside anyway.
Blow the whistle Mr Webb… thank you.
It has to be said that as 1-0 wins go away from home, I
can’t remember ever feeling as comfortable and as convinced that the opposition
weren’t going to score. Most of that was
down to the inept opposition but also that we had the big 6 on the pitch – King
Artur, my first choice back 4 and Big Vic.
With these 6 on the pitch, I feel that opposition teams have to do a bit
more than sling a ball in the box and look for scraps which is basically all
that Palace could do. Yes, we got a
break in that Lovren wasn’t sent off but other than that there was hardly any
danger. I think Boruc made one save all
match.
Luke Shaw showed that the England appearance had no negative
affect on him at all and was superb which is only going to mean that we have to
put our tin hats on and ignore the rumours that will now go into
overdrive. Adam Lallana had a superb
game as well, managing to orchestrate things against a very robust Palace
defence. Sir Rickie was quiet again and
it would have been a massive boost to him if his shot had behaved itself and
nestled in the corner instead of hitting the post. J-Rod did his usual and chased everything and
was rewarded both for persistence and bravery with his goal.
The win takes us to 42 points and past the magic 40 point
barrier. It’s also important that
although we were safe anyway in truth, we managed to pick up a decent away win
against a team who are scrapping for their lives. During all our near-relegation scrapes in the
90s, if we got safe with 3 games to go, we would then be on the beach and lose
every subsequent game so it’s important to see that the players are still
motivated and hungry. I’d like to see
Mauricio try a few things in the remaining games – Gaston Ramirez has started
one league game this season so give him a run for a few weeks instead of Steven
Davis – not because Davis
has done anything wrong but because we need to see if Gaston can do it this
season. Maybe give Shaw a break for a
game and give Matt Targett his debut.
Palace will be hoping that there are 3 teams worse than
them. I’d say Fulham and West Brom are
and Cardiff
should be. If Palace survive then it’ll
be a remarkable achievement as they have some seriously bang-average
players. I like Ward (despite being an
ex-Skate) but you really can’t expect to do well in the Premier League with
players like Jedinak and Dikgacoi as your central midfield hub. Jedinak isn’t that bad but The Wardrobe is
utter shite. Goals and a lack thereof is
their problem and as a result, Tony Purist has to find a place for Ince on one
wing. Bolasie looked ok but Punch was
awful but it must be dispiriting knowing that you’re trying to get crosses in
to Murray who will probably be collapsed on the floor when the ball
arrives. Cameron Jerome has to be a
better bet, surely. Palace are a decent
club though with decent supporters who contribute to the atmosphere unlike
some, so I hope they stay up.
Next up for us is a home game against Norwich where we will hopefully do enough to
keep them down amongst the dead men as well.
We had a Howard Webb inspired shocker when we played at Carrow Road earlier
in the season and lost 1-0 after Bradley Johnson’s double handed charge down
was deemed not a penalty. I guess he
evened that up today for us with the Lovren yellow card. Bring on next Saturday – time to play
taxidermist and stuff a Canary.
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