Fair old pokeNew season starts and we (dad and I) have a New Season Resolution that we are going to get the game earlier by the simple method of leaving quarter of an hour earlier. We made a balls of this and so arrived at 12.14 and 30-ish seconds. A quick check around to see if anyone new was near us in the Kingsland. I was hoping for a large breasted bikini model of some description but instead it was a new old codger, replacing last seasons one who was probably pushing up daisies.
To the teams and Saints were as expected with neither Lambert or Lallana in the team though Adam did make the bench. With Connolly and Dickson taking their places, you kind of felt ok but I was slightly worried that our two main goalscorers (57) from last year were both missing. Sir Rickie missing also meant someone new on the free kicks as well so I was under the impression that this would be tough. Plymouth are now managed by Peter Reid who is a decent manager despite having a monkey’s head. Lee Molyneux is in the Plymouth line up and we know how bad he is… bring it on.
Saints tore into Plymouth from the off, pinning them back in their half for the first 10 minutes with fast paced passing football which was pleasing on the eye and effective to boot. Dickson fizzed over a couple of crosses which Barnard and then Hammond could have done better with before Puncheon delivered from the right but just behind everybody. The Plymouth keeper was looking all flappy and for a while it just looked like matter of time. At the centre of it all was Morgan Schneiderlin who looked like he was on a different planet to everyone on the pitch – a Premiership player in League 1. His control and vision was superb and he soon went close himself with a raking shot that just went wide. Barnard and Connolly were working hard up front with Connolly pulling defenders out of position with his intelligent running and Barnard chasing everything down and getting stuck in. The back four of Butterfield, Harding, Jaidi and Fonte looked composed and solid and things were looking good.
Half an hour had gone by and neither keeper had been worked at all, despite all our good play and it kind of went all flat for a bit as Plymouth resorted to some comedy time wasting to try and take the sting out of the game and it worked a treat. It was still one way traffic though and Jaidi headed wide after Fonte found himself on the left wing, took on the full back and fired over a great cross. He’s some player that boy.
At half time I was pondering the season ahead. We’re expected to go up and if we do then fine, if we don’t however then Lambert, Lallana, Fonte and Schneiderlin would all be off and who could blame them. A little pessimistic to be having thoughts like that at half time on the first day perhaps. My mates the Chuckle Brothers were still there behind me, talking shit, trying to be funny and failing miserably. The guy two along from me has taken it upon himself to calmly explain the rules to them whenever they say something incredibly stupid during the game, in the same way that a dad explains to his 4 year old. I wonder how long it’s going to last… I give it til about half time at the Bournemouth game on Tuesday, by which time it will be “Just shut up and read the fucking rule book, you twat”
The second half starts and a catch a bit of “Bradley Wright-Phillips, he robs from the Skates” coming down from the Northam. A quick check reveals that he’s not even a sub for them today. I wonder if Peter Reid was at Man City when Bradley was there and knows just how shit he really is. To the game and Jaidi treads on the ball and Plymouth nick it back. It pings over to the left side and then back without a Saints player getting near it, except Harding who ball watches as it rolls past him for Summerfield to poke into the net. Shit. They’ve been in our half once and scored. Green Army!!! Bollocks.
Goals change games and for 10 minutes it’s all Plymouth and we’re rubbish. Schneiderlin, having faded in the last 20 of the first half, is now invisible, Barnard and Connolly are not holding the ball up, Puncheon is continually giving it away and Hammond is playing at a slower pace than every other player on the pitch. It’s dreadful and I’m already thinking I’ll be pleased with a draw. We are not helping ourselves either, with Kelvin Davis booting the ball aimlessly out of play and Radhi Jaidi playing ‘passes’ up to Barnard and Connolly that are coming down with snow on them.
Cometh the hour mark, cometh the man and Lallana was introduced in place of Harding who had played the first fifteen minutes of the second half like he’d never kicked a ball in his life. Dickson went to left back and Adam took up his usual left-wing-but-not-really slot. The difference was immediately noticeable and some intricate passing on the edge of the Plymouth box involving Lallana and Puncheon, eventually got too complicated when Punch decided to pass to and offside Barnard when he was only eight yards out himself and should have had a dig.
Saints were on the up again and Puncheon fired over before we finally got a shot on target as Lallana cut in and smashed in a shot from 25 yards which the keeper clawed away – decent save. Worryingly, Adam limped away from the incident, clearly feeling his knee which has been the reason he hasn’t trained. Argyle parked the bus after this, introducing another defender and you were hoping that Pards would used his remaining two substitutions and try and have a go as it clearly was not working and therein lies the problem. The attacking options on the bench were Oxlade-Chamberlain and Lee Holmes wheras last year it would have been Papa Waigo, Antonio and one of Connolly or Barnard. However, Oxlade-Chamberlain was not thrown on with 10 to go to use his pace and make a difference…. Oh no…. we got Lee Fucking Holmes on the 90th minute. What was the point of that ? All we got from Holmes was a synopsis of his entire Saints career when he swung a complete air shot at the ball and came away limping. We had the one chance you always get when Lallana cut in from the left and pulled it back for the onrushing Barnard who was tackled superbly as he shot, deflecting the ball to safety. One-Nil, Green Army!!! Bugger.
Positives are that we played ok for the first half and Ryan Dickson and Danny Butterfield look excellent acquisitions. Some of the delivery into the box was excellent and with Sir Rickie fit, I reckon we’d have bagged a couple before half time. I have to mention Jose Fonte as well who was quite simply different class. Plymouth were a tidy side without being inspirational but we should not have lost to them and did so purely because we handed them the goal which they held onto. Simple really.
On the debit side, we have a glaring lack of pace now without Waigo and Antonio and we looked clueless in the second half. The central midfield does not look right to me and I’ll repeat what I said at the tail end of last season that Schneiderlin has to play as the attacking one and Hammond as the defensive one. Hammond is too ponderous with the ball at feet though he reads the game well and gets stuck in to headers and tackles etc. Morgan uses the deeper position to just disappear which after a brilliant first twenty minutes, he completely did today leaving me feeling a bit sorry for Hammond and the other midfielders. We all know Morgan is creative and can pass it so get him further forward and I reckon he’d get you 10 goals a season. He needs to do more and he’s capable of so much more. The service from the wings today was ok to start with and then tailed off with Puncheon just not looking fit to me. Molyneux was keeping up with him for pace which really should not happen. We needed to feed the smaller lads up front with balls into the channels and this just didn’t happen enough though Lallana made a huge difference when he came on. Finally, what the fuck was that last substitution about ? I guess Pards was watching Capello in the summer – three goals down, bring on Heskey, need a goal, bring on impact sub Lee Holmes in the 90th minute. I tell you, throwing Wotton or Seaborne or even Bart on up front would have had more impact.
Oh yeah… and the cringeworthy playing of ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ on the tannoy as I had my post game piss was really not required. Next up, Bournemouth at home in the League Cup on Tuesday, bring me a decent atmosphere and a decent win.
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