League 1 Match 40 - Southampton 1 Charlton 0

Why is that offside ? Quack !!!

If we’d played Charlton a month ago then I would have been very confident of a win as they had fallen away big time and looked to have settled for a playoff place. However, a combination of them picking up and Leeds being shit means they are now back in contention for the 2nd automatic spot. Last week, Saints weren’t very convincing in beating Leyton Orient so I was a bit worried about this one. We’ve played them twice already this season of course, a 1-1 draw at The Valley in the League and the 2-1 hammering we dished out to them in the JPT. There is also the ‘Pards’ factor to consider as he’s as popular with their fans as Harry Redknapp is with ours. Needless to say – ‘we have to win’. There, I said it anyway.

To the teams and Pards has pulled out a funny one and names what looks like a 4-5-1 with Lee Barnard being the fall guy and being left out for Michail Antonio. I’m guessing that one of Antonio, Lallana or Puncheon will be pushed forwards to support Sir Rickie but you never can tell. The defence saw a change with Jaidi not recovering from his injury picked up last Monday. His replacement was predictably, the unpredictable Danny Seaborne.

The match had a very even start with both teams taking turns to test out the oppositions defence. The first real chance fell to Charlton and their skipper, Nicky Bailey. Bailey scored a blinding goal for Charlton at SMS last season when he weaved down the left wing and cut in before scoring the winner. Good player and when Pards arrived in the summer, I hoped he’d go back to Charlton and sign him up for the Saints revolution. Not so however and here he is playing for Charlton at SMS, flashing in a decent header which Superkelv parried away.

Jason Puncheon has been pushed up front for us and is struggling to get on the ball initially but eventually he gets on it, dribbles a bit and lashes over the bar. Former Saints loanee, Christian Dailly at centre back for Charlton, then expends a lot of effort trying to get one of his midfielders to drop in to mark Punch but none of them seem to be too bothered. The supply line continues however as first Punch tees up Schneiderlin to volley wide (again) and then shoots himself (not like Kurt Cobain) and forces keeper Randolph into a sprawling save at the post.

Usually I only talk about the Chuckle Brothers behind me at half time but on 25 minutes there is a break in play following an offside decision where, as they do these days, the linesman didn’t flag until the player in question made a move towards the ball. ‘Why’s he offside?... ‘Why didn’t he flag earlier?’… ‘He don’t know what he’s doing does he’…6’ Here’s my impression of a duck as I make a farting noise down my rolled up programme’…. The bloke next to me turned round and tried to give a concise history of the offside law, explaining ‘active’ and ‘passive’ and ‘1st phase’, ‘2nd phase’ etc. It was a bit like my French teachers trying to get me to understand at school. Upon seeing me pissing myself laughing – the bloke next to me said ‘that was wasted on them wasn’t it’.

Back to the game and a quick break by Saints sees Sir Rickie flick the ball on to Puncheon who controls and rolls a short ball to Michail Antonio who takes it past a defender on the burst and smashes it in from about 15 yards. 1-0, get in you beauty and a reprise of the JPT Wembley dance.

When Charlton’s next attack broke down we were presented with the very unusual sight of Saints with the ball on the half way line with a four on one break. The ball was with Antonio and just one decent pass would have put Sir Rickie, Punch and Adam Lallana through on goal… and he butchered it completely, picking out the one covering defender. There was still time for two incidents before half time as Bailey again thumped a header goalwards which Superkelv turned over the bar and then Dean Hammond got booked for a tackle that was so late, it was after the half time whistle had sounded and the players were tucking into their segments of orange. If professional footballers don’t have a segment of orange at half-time, like all us park players do (or did)… then they should.

Saints started the second half in brisk fashion and Charlton were asleep as Punch took a short corner to Schneiderlin who stood up a cross for Sir Ricke to header goalwards and it to be cleared off the line by two defenders. Bugger, we could have done with that. Part 3 of the Bailey v Superkelv saga was just around the corner as the little ginger fella smashed a snapshot goalwards and again, was denied by the Saints keeper.

The one man defensive unit that is Jose Fonte was showing up well again. Charlton had Nick Forster up front who played (and scored for Brighton against us at SMS earlier in the season. He didn’t play against Fonte though and today he is really in Jose’s pocket and not getting a sniff. He’s getting irate though and having a good old moan up at the ref as he gets beaten to the ball for about the 25th time. Not content with being the entire back 4, Jose decides to be the keeper as well as in the same attack he clearly blocks two shots with his hand. You can assume in this league that the obvious will not be given and so the appeals were waved away. The ball then broke for Hammond who shoved it past a defender with his arm and again, nothing given.

Perhaps sensing that Forster was getting wound up, Charlton replaced him with a big lanky streak of piss and started to hump it forward which they really didn’t need to do as they were creating enough chances keeping it on the deck. Sir Rickie was more like his old self today, bullying defenders but when you are knocking over someone as old as Christian Dailly, you have to wonder if the Police will be called. Led by the main man, the chances come and go as Punch shoots left footed and it’s deflected just out of the reach of the flying Antonio who is then substituted with Barnard coming on. I felt that he was a bit unlucky to be the one coming off as he’s certainly had more of an impact on the game than Lallana who was very quiet today.

There then followed three more worthwhile efforts from Saints as Lambert curled just wide from the inside left channel, Barnard’s turn and volley lacked power and then Sir Rickie hit the angle of post and bar from a free kick which Randolph left. I think it ended up being a lot closer than he realised so he probably soiled his pants when it clipped the woodwork.

Jonjo Shelvey come on for the last 10 minutes and immediately proved why he should have been on from the start and Paul Wotton came on for Sir Rickie and immediately proved that he shouldn’t. Saints defended a bit too deep for the last five minutes but aside from one important tackle from Otsemobor, were relatively untroubled – even by the obligatory corners at the end with the Charlton keeper running around in our box like a big orange pillock.

Full time, 1-0, Hurrah!

So, Pards beats Charlton again who were to be fair, were a decent side and if we’d gone behind in this match I feel that we would have severely struggled to get the win we needed. They did however run out of steam in the last half hour and I personally felt we were always more likely to get a second goal than them to equalize. As I said earlier, they started hoofing the ball forwards which played straight in the hands of Fonte and Seaborne. I have a bit of problem with Seaborne in that I don’t think he’s good enough and he gives me the shits. If the ball is in the air to be attacked and it’s in front of him then he’s ok and he wins his share – but get around him and he doesn’t seem to have a clue and ball watches. OK – he’s no Ollie Lancashire and thankfully, not many are but the bottom line is – with Jaidi injured, I’d rather see Chris Perry in the side any day of the week.

As the last of the players left the field, it was time for the announcement of the other League 1 scores. Up until today I had not even really listened to them at any game because I didn’t care what anyone else did. Today it’s interesting because it’s now all opening up before us. We need other teams to be losing and also today, we needed West Ham to be winning as it would confirm relegation for the Skates.

Brentford 3 Huddersfield (currently in 6th) 0 – big cheer, happy days
Colchester (currently 7th) 3 Swindon 0 – boooooooooo – fucking Swindon – do us twice and then lose to Hoofroyd and his clowns.
Norwich 1 MK Dons (one place below us) 1 – happy enough with that, Fake Dons were winning with 2 minutes to go. Karl Robinson quotes should be interesting this week.
Oldham 2 Bristol Rovers (currently 8th) 1 – excellent
West Ham 1 Sunderland 0 – ‘Pompey going down with no money in the bank etc’

OK – The Skates are relegated – so what, they were always going to be, right from the start of the season. Now it’s time to have a look at the playoff picture. As of right now, with 6 games left, we are 8 points behind Colchester and Huddersfield with a better goal difference and a game in hand. Our next two games are both away from home on shitty grounds… Bristol Rovers at Twerton Park and and Yeovil at Huish Park. Of course, as you know, we have made a right balls of these sort of games recently. If I was a betting man I’d still be betting on us just missing the playoffs but I tell you what – win these two and I’ll start to believe.