Premier League Match 37 - Southampton 1 Liverpool 2

"They put a 5 foot 7 Full-Back on Me At a Corner!"

It was always likely to be this way and it has come to pass that Saints are playing Liverpool at home with Liverpool needing a big win to put pressure on Manchester City in their own quest for an unprecedented four trophies in a season. They are four points and seven goals behind City at the moment with a game in hand and if they could pick a team to play at this particular moment in time, I’m sure we’d be pretty close to the top of the list. It’s a good job we never get beat by that many and it's a good job we're in decent form….. ha ha fucking ha.

The game is on Sky Sports so if you are watching there, I will tell you now that even more than usual, the coverage is going to be all about Liverpool because they have everything to play for and we have absolutely nothing, given that the results over the weekend meant that we don’t even have to worry about an 18 goal swing any more, because as of Sunday, Norwich, Watford and Leeds can’t catch us, so we have officially found three teams that are slightly more shit than us.

Liverpool are going to this game having won the FA Cup on Saturday with a penalty shootout win against Chelsea, which matched up with a penalty shootout win against Chelsea in the Carabao Cup earlier in the season. It would’ve been nice if Mason Mount had not been a Skate Bastard and missed the last penalty and Chelsea had won, simply because there was a chance the Liverpool would just end the season with just the Carabao Cup, which would have to be regarded as a failure for them. However, they are still on course to win the fucking lot as they still have a shout in the Premier League and are in the Champions League final against Real Madrid. Speaking as someone who grew up at a time when Liverpool were dominant, I have to say that this is giving me absolute nightmares. As I’ve probably mentioned, I can’t stand Chelsea because of the fact that they’ve profited from 20 years of dirty Russian money but I found myself wanting them to win the FA Cup on Saturday because Liverpool fans as a whole are fucking unbearable and the coverage they get on TV and in the wider media is appalling, simply because there are so many sycophants and ex-Liverpool representatives all over the place. The time of them ‘really’ pissing me off is a long way in the past now and was a course centred around the period when they signed all of our players, which finished with the Virgil van Dijk tapping up at eventual signing. I bet Virgil really regrets forcing that move, not.

The only real positive news for us going into the game tonight is the Liverpool have a few injuries with midfield linchpin Fabinho having done a hamstring and after the cup final, there are also question marks over Mo Salah , Andy Robertson and Van Dijk himself. None of these players are irreplaceable for this game though because unlike a couple of years ago, Liverpool now have some proper players in reserve. The signing of Luis Diaz in January is turning out to be ridiculous and he has relegated Roberto Firmino and Diogo Jota to benchwarmers and let’s face it, either of those is a fucking good replacement if Salah doesn’t make it. Jordan Henderson has come in for Fabinho and in the cup final, Joel Matip came in when Van Dijk had to go off and partnered another new signing for this season, Ibrahima Konaté, who also looks ridiculously good.  It’s really annoying. Overseeing all this of course is Jürgen Klopp who is irritatingly likeable when things are going well for Liverpool and on the rare occasions when they do have a blip, a sour complete bell-end reveals itself. Overall though, great manager and a great character and it’s good that he’s going to be in the English game for a few more years having signed a new contract.

Klopp has coined a new nickname for his Liverpool team, calling them the Mentality Monsters, basically referring to them never knowing when they are beaten and always finding a way to come back. If they are there mentality monsters then Saints must be the Mentality Muppets.

The only news coming out of St.Mary’s this week wasn’t even a definite but it appears that Fraser Forster is not going to be offered a new contract at the end of the season and instead, Alex McCarthy is going to be our number one going into next season. This all comes down to the ‘secret’, unannounced contract that McCarthy was given back in November time where the club jumped the gun in tying down a goalkeeper that no one else was ever going to poach. We really should of course have left it until now before making a decision on which goalkeeper to keep and if we had left it until now, then the decision would almost certainly have been different. As it stands, we appear to be losing a goalkeeper who would certainly be one of the favourites if there was a “Player of the second half of the season“ award and keeping a player whose last involvement with the first team saw him branded unprofessional by the manager, when he was injured for the last five minutes of the game against Brighton, didn’t tell anyone and subsequently couldn’t make any sort of effort to save Neal Maupay‘s 94th minute equaliser. Well played Saints… well played. It appears that Fraser Forster has a conveniently timed minor injury which may keep him out of his last home game as a Southampton player.

There is team selection madness everywhere.  Liverpool have put their reserves out with on Allison and Konate in the side from their FA Cup Final team.  All this confirms that Klopp isn’t bothered about going for a big win.  Ralph clearly isn’t bothered either as we’ve gone for the back 9 approach.  Salisu, Lyanco and Stephens at centre back and it appears, Redmond and KWP at full-backs.  This will be fun.  Diallo has kept Romeu out again somewhat strangely and the winger tombola has been won by Tella and Elyounoussi.  The sacrificial striker will be Broja.

Saints start positively with some decent passing out from the back which all looks a little bit frenetic until it gets out to KWP on the right hand side who hits it down the line and sends Broja or away against Matip.  Broja looks like the player he was in January as he runs directly at goal past the defender but he runs out of angle and Allison makes a good block.

Our good start continues as Lyanco wins a challenge against Jota and sends us away with Tella finding Redmond on the left.  It’s perfect for Redmond as he has no defender near him and he cuts inside Joe Gomez and lets fly and it appears to flick off Milner and loop into the top corner of the net.  Fucking hell.  New contract incoming probably.  To be fair, it’s a brilliant outcome for a good bit of positivity.  The funny thing about it is the Klopp has released his inner bell-end and is absolutely losing his shit on the touchline, presumably because he thinks Lyanco has fouled Jota. He hasn’t so Jürgen can go fuck himself…. maybe look at where your right midfielder was when Redmond picked up the ball in acres of space or maybe look at how Gomez allowed him to easily cut across onto his good foot.

Buy Ticket, Win Raffle

Immediately after this though, the pattern of the game becomes apparent as we are basically sat in a back five with four lined up just in front of them and Liverpool are allowed the ball until they are within about 40 yards of our goal when we go and engage, sort of.  This isn’t going to be pretty. After JWP gives the ball away, Diallo gives away a free kick by wrestling Jota to the ground. In comes the free-kick and the Dave Watson Masterclass of standing still and hoping they run offside, does its job with Firmino heading into the net but being a couple of feet offside.

Liverpool are dominating possession and the most unsurprising thing ever happens as Gomez swings in a cross which was not exactly Trent standard but Jota kills it and lays it in to the path of Minamino who shows the one thing that he did actually show on his loan spell at Saints and lashes it into the net before McCarthy can react. Minamino doesn’t seem to want to celebrate which is a bit ridiculous considering he was only on loan with us for six months and no one was exactly sorry when his loan spell ended.

It’s all Liverpool Reserves for the rest of the first half and it’s just a case of whether they can make their dominance count.  Curtis Jones produces a nice turn before shooting wide before Diallo makes a horrible mistake in midfield and gives the ball to Firmino, who takes it forward before firing narrowly over the bar.

Half-time and one thing is for sure. If we keep playing like we are with the same lack of goal threat that we’ve shown so far, we will eventually concede a second goal and that will be the end of that. No changes at half-time and the first real chance goes to the Scousers.  Tsimikas gets down the left-hand side and picks out Jota who has managed to become unmarked even with us having nine players in the goalkeeper in the penalty area. Luckily for us, he turns and put it wide of the far post.  Another chance goes begging as Liverpool once again play through our massed ranks of defenders, with Elliot picking up the ball and hitting the side netting.

Even with their second-string players, the movement is ridiculous and the third man runs are just not being picked up and as it has been for the last 25 minutes, it’s a matter of time.  A cross comes in from Milner on the right-hand side and Salisu heads it behind for a corner.  In it comes from Tsimikas, flicked on in shite fashion by Elyounoussi and it seems to loop off of Matip and balloon into the net.  Well, what a surprise that is - another goal from a set pace.

Time to pick up the pace you would’ve thought but it’s like for like substitutions - but at least Ralph is taking off two players who have been dreadful with Diallo and Tella departing to be replaced by Romeu and Stuart Armstrong, considerably strengthening the team. We still aren’t committing any bodies forward though and Broja is still isolated. When the time comes for another sub, we are crying out for Broja to be given some support but instead of that, off he goes to be replaced with Che Adams.  

Time goes on, we do fuck all, Liverpool start taking off the more important players and start to sit back a bit and eventually, on about 90 minutes, we decide we might as well have a go. Redmond decides to try and recreate his first goal by cutting him from the left wing and hammer on it with his right foot unfortunately this one doesn’t take a deflection and goes straight into Allison’s midriff.  KWP puts a good ball into Adams in the middle but he can’t get the shot away, but we keep Liverpool under a little bit of pressure which allows Stuart Armstrong to sling a cross in which causes a little bit of panic in the defence.  Why the fuck didn’t we do this 15 minutes ago?  Eventually we get a cross in from the left but it’s the giant KWP competing with Jota at the back post and Allison claims easily enough.  We’ve had more pressure in the last two minutes then we have had all game.  Do we get a point for that?  Nope. The end.  Shite.

Ralph will probably be pleased with that because we didn’t get hammered which was his sole intention from the start of the game. I can understand him going into a game like that if we are playing the normal Liverpool team but having been handed the Liverpool team sheet, he should’ve sent them out at least with some attacking intent. We tried to play out from the back for about 10 minutes until it became apparent that we weren’t good enough to do it and then we started booming the ball up to Broja, who had absolutely no support whatsoever. He won his fair share of challenges as well but there was no one anywhere near him so the ball just kept coming back.

The Inner Bell-End is Released

Miraculously, by this time we were actually 1-0 up but as soon as Minamino equalised, the result was inevitable and it was just a surprise it took them to the hour mark to score the winner., which when it came was down to more dodgy set pace defending. It will be interesting to see if Matip gets credit with that because it was definitely an own goal off of KWP, not that he could really help it.  The more interesting question which no one will answer is “why the fuck is 5 foot 7 KWP, marking 6 foot 4 Joel Matip?”

Part of the game that really killed me was what happened after the second Liverpool goal, when, from the 65th minute to the 90th we did absolutely fuck all regarding playing with any intent going forward or trying to put Liverpool under pressure. We had a brief flurry once the 90 minutes had expired because Liverpool suddenly started defending deeper and we suddenly started playing without any fear and we had a couple of half chances but that’s not enough bearing in mind we are playing Liverpool Reserves.

Make no mistakes, that Liverpool reserve team would finish in the top 10 but we gave them far too much respect. The home game against Chelsea, when we got battered seems to have taken all bravery out of the manager and out of the players. We just don’t want to pass the ball forward anymore and what’s happened to the press? It’s just not there and we just try and get men behind the ball and then start an attack from 80 yards away.  Most often though, we just boom it up the pitch. It’s shit football.

Ralph said after the game that we were brave and I guess he was referring to us looking terrified when we were knocking the ball around at the back, before we inevitably gave it away or boomed it up the pitch. I’m sorry, that’s not bravery. Bravery is midfield players moving into space ahead of the ball and not being frightened to receive it. Bravery is making forward runs to support the striker. bravery is actually trying to impose yourself on the opposition instead of just sitting there trying to play the game in your own third and hoping that they don’t score. That wasn’t bravery out there today, that was bullshit. Against the first choice Liverpool team I could’ve understood it a little bit more but against the team that they put out today, then we should’ve had a little bit more about us.

The other thing that grates is that this was the last home game of the season, a season which is fallen off the cliff in the last few months. Would’ve really hurt us to have a go? At 2-1 down, I would’ve happily lost 3-1 if it meant that we actually had a go but we didn’t until there were three minutes left.  Do we ever score a late goal? Not fucking many.

As for the players, I thought Lyanco did pretty well and the likes of Salisu, JWP and KWP were half decent. Nathan Redmond did pretty well as a left wing back and of course had our two best efforts on goal, one of which put us ahead. I felt a bit sorry for Broja with his task of playing against Konate and Matip on his own, with a lack of support from our wide players, Elyounoussi and Tella, who were both absolutely shite, not doing anything on the ball or winning any challenges or doing anything that would make Liverpool even think that they were on the pitch to provide any sort of impetus for the opposition.  Diallo in midfield just looked completely lost and was either bypassed or on a few occasions when he did get on the ball, just gave it away. Romeu had more effect in 10 minutes then Diallo did in 80.

One game left this season to try and equal last season‘s points total, which is away at Leicester. I’m really not expecting anything too much from there, but it will be a good day out if you’re ‘lucky’ enough to be going. Up the fucking Saints and roll-on next season.