Premier League Match 3 - Newcastle 2 Southampton 2

 

Hey Crying Kid - Can't Hear You?

Time for another trip to Newcastle at St James’s Park where we don’t seem to have won since Matt Le Tissier was still playing for us. I think we have won more recently than that actually… but it doesn’t feel like it. It’s another one of those grounds, like Goodison Park, where we always go and the opposition aren’t particularly good and we always find a way to lose. There is no logic for it and this Newcastle side in particular should be there for the taking. Mind you, I said that last year when we managed to find ourselves 3-2 down with half an hour to play against nine men and we still lost.

Steve Bruce is still the manager because basically, Mike Ashley can’t be arsed to sack him and find another manager to work under the conditions that Ashley imposes on the club. This year they are undoubtedly going to be in the bottom six for the entire season and regardless of our record in the North-East, we have to be targeting a win today. There’s not a lot that can be said about Mike Ashley that hasn’t been said before. He is still fucking there and there is a section of their fan base that blames the Premier League for blocking a recent takeover, which let’s face it, must’ve been extremely dodgy for them to prefer leaving Ashley in place.

The Newcastle team is the same as last year.  They have secured the permanent signing of Joe Willock from Arsenal and that’s about it.  We have to watch out for Alan St.Maximin, who is their best player by a mile and we have to get about Jonjo Shelvey in midfield if he’s playing. The clash between him and Oriel Romeu will be key to how this game turns out. What Newcastle don’t have any more is Andy Carroll, who was released the end of last season and is still currently a free agent. He was of course always a nightmare to play against and hopefully when he does find another club, it’s not one in the Premier League so we don't have to deal with him anymore.

Steve Bruce has used to build up to this game to eat more and also to fire a shot at Rafa Benitez, his predecessor, who sanctioned the selling of Adam Armstrong to Blackburn, from where of course, he scored a bucket load of goals and signed for Saints.  Brucie may indeed have a point but criticising others transfer activity is a dangerous game when you paid £40m for Joelinton.

There is a positivity about Saints at the moment with the draw against Manchester United and the hammering of Newport in midweek. Another bit of news was that Tino Livramento got called up for the England Under 21s when he is still only 18. I’m hoping that today is the day that Ralph pushes him forward and plays KWP at right back and we can see whether we’ve got the next Gareth Bale on our hands or not.

After the two league games unchanged, I wasn't expecting any changes today but we got two, with KWP coming in at left back and Elyounoussi replacing Walcott on the right.  I’m guessing that the KWP inclusion is because Ralph feels he will handle St.Maximin better than Perraud. 

Away we go and St.Maximin gives an early demonstration of his dribbling ability but he is crowded out and that’s about it for Newcastle for the first half as we take over. Elyounoussi is showing up well and the first big chance comes as Saints work across from the left hand side and Elyounoussi tries to pick out Livramento but it goes to 2 defenders who get in each other’s way and the cross reaches the right back anyway.  Tino gets his head up and plays a superb all across the box to where Djenepo has a tap-in but somehow he manages to scoop it over the bar with an open goal from about 5 yards. Fucking pathetic. He’s looking around for the offside flag but there isn’t one because it wasn’t offside, it was just a horrendous open goal miss for fucks sake.

He had the chance to make amends a few minutes later as Adam Armstrong produces a lovely diagonal through ball which goes straight to Djenepo as he arrived in the box and he has to hit it first time but instead of that, he does a drag back, a pirouette, a somersault, turns his shirt in the wrong way, turns it back in the right way again, does a handstand and surprise surprise, the eventual shot gets blocked.

Unperturbed, Saints continue to make all the attacking running and Che Adams battles his way through four challenges on the left hand side before finding Elyounoussi, whose under pressure effort is saved by Woodman in goal for Newcastle.

Woodman has to be alert again when we were in a freekick on the left hand side when KWP is brought down. JWP fizzes it across and he’s just adopted the approach of hit it into the bodies and keep it on target… and everyone misses it and Woodman flicks out an arm to divert it away.

Newcastle are basically playing three at the back with five midfielders about 5 yards in front of them and then 50 yards of space and then the front two - but they do win a corner off Livramento just before half-time which is fired across and Wilson has a free Heather but McCarthy saves well at the near post.

Half-time and 0-0 and we’ve dominated, and we should be at least two goals in front but we are not. On the plus side, Newcastle are dreadful so we should still be winning this game but on the minus side, we are always better in the first half and we've had that and we are not winning.

The second-half starts in much the same vein as the first half with Elyounoussi driving forward and finding Armstrong who shot his blocked and it bounces out to Moussa who takes a good touch inside before aiming a curler at the far post which goes just wide.

And fuck me. Newcastle get more than two players in a half virtually the first time and a big crossfield ball from our right to our left is headed back across by Jacob Murphy and Callum Wilson has run off the back of Stephens and stoops to head into the net. In many ways it is very similar to the goal the Calvert-Lewin scored against us for Everton in that we’ve just left the centre forward unmarked in the middle. Garbage.

Ralph has obviously got the taste for the early substitutions and after about 10 minutes where we don’t look remotely threatening, Redmond is on for Djenepo and Che Adams is withdrawn and Armando Broja comes on for his Premier League debut.

One More Goal Than You Ever Thought I'd Get

All the way through last season, Redmond drove me nuts by choosing to turn backwards and play the easy ball rather than take anyone on but today he fancies it and picks up the ball on the left hand side, drives at Jacob Murphy gets a yard past him and  whips it over first time with his left foot, just over Broja’s head but there is Elyounoussi, arriving at the back post to get something on it to send it goalwards, Woodman parries it out and it hits Elyounoussi nicely and bounces into the net. Get the fuck in and that’s the least that we deserved.

It’s become very open now and St.Maximin is still the main threat from Newcastle. He barrels into the box and there’s a shout for a penalty as Salisu goes to challenge him but it looks pretty fair on first viewing…. Off to VAR.  For this season once more, League 1 Minus 10 has exclusive access to VAR conversations.

“Mikey, Mikey!  You there Mikey”
“…..”
“Mikey, was that a penalty”
“zzzz”
“Fuck sake Mikey…. You there!”
“Huh… fuck off”
“Mikey, was that a penalty?”
“Dunno mate, was on a massive bender last night and I’m knackered, catching a few zeds”
“Have you seen the challenge?”
“Nah, can’t be arsed… go with the on field decision, makes you look good”
“You’re a legend Mikey”
“How right you are Paul, how right you are”

10 minutes to go and Ralph hits the substitute button again with Ibrahima Diallo coming on for Romeu which on the face of it is a strange one.

90th minute and Diallo is carrying the ball forward. He plays a 1-2 with Livramento and then his cross gets cut out. One big boot forward and suddenly it’s two against two. Why do we fucking do this? St. Maximin carrys the ball goalward before finding Joelinton who eventually finds Fraser and his shot is blocked by JWP who has got back but it only bounces out as far as St.Maximin and he smashes it into the net. Fuck off. We have basically loaded the gun and shot ourselves in the bollocks.

A feature of Saints performances over the past few years has been a total inability to react to any setback and a total inability to keep doing the right thing and maybe even upping the tempo. It is therefore promising that we do keep trying to play and Newcastle, as you would expect, begin to panic. Eventually we worked the ball to Redmond in the inside left channel and he hits a wonderfully weighted ball in between two defenders to meet up with Armstrong’s run at Lascelles slides across and takes out everything. It did look like he got a bit of the ball and was just going down injured afterwards to waste a bit of time but we’re off to VAR and your mate and mine, Mike Dean. 

“Hello Mikey”
“Hello Paul… need me again do ya?… you all need me”
“We do Mikey”
“Cos I’m a fucking legend aren’t I Paul”
“Sure thing Mikey – what the craic with the penalty shout?”
“Well, I’m hoping for a threesome with two Geordie lasses later… so it’s a no from me”
“Come on Mikey… it looks like he cleaned him out”
“Well he did but that’s not the point – I’m not giving it!”
“OK Mikey – what if you make me look at it – then I get blamed?”
“Sounds good – then I can say I tried and we also get the right decision.  Win-fucking-win”
“Win-Win indeed Mikey – I’m just on my way over
“Picture’s coming up Paul – now I’m putting aftershave down my boxers”
“Have a good night Mikey”
“Will do Paul”

Up steps JWP, bang, bottom right, 2-2, game over.

Guess Who's Back... Back Again...

Well that was a fucking ridiculous game.   We ended up rescuing a point in a game where we should have been out of sight at half-time.  How on earth we were not even winning at half-time is something that you’d have to ask Moussa Djenepo and whoever is holding the PlayStation controller that controls him. Spamming all the buttons and doing 20 step overs when you are 5 yards out with a first time shot required.  The first miss is an open goal from 5 yards which he takes first time and spoons it.  The second miss is crying out for a first time finish but instead we get step overs and drag backs and then nothing.  Maddening.

Having dominated the first half without scoring, we then do that typical Southampton thing and let in a really shit goal and it’s the old one of not tracking a runner which allows Callum Wilson to score.  You can’t be profligate in front of goal and then soft as shit at the back.  You can maybe get away with one but not both.

At that point I thought we were dead and we would lose 1-0 but I have to say it was an excellent bit of play by substitute Nathan Redmond on the left wing to beat a player and put over the cross which Elyounoussi bundled into the net. Lets not go overboard – beating a player and crossing it is in the job description for a winger but it was nice to see him actually do it.  It seemed to me that the mindset today was to go out and be positive and that the players totally believed that they should be winning this game. This is the only way I can make sense of the way we were playing at in the 90^th minute, just before Newcastle scored the second goal. Basically, we had an attack and when we lost it, one pass and we had eight players ahead of the ball with only the two centre backs and the goalkeeper in the picture as Newcastle attacked. JWP got back into the picture of the try and stop the goal but it ended up in the net and that was fucking suicidal when we had a point in the bag and it was the 90th minute. I mean, fair play for trying to win the game there’s got to be some pragmatism about it. That was absolutely criminal and definitely not in the ‘game management’ manual.  Of course, at that moment you think we’ve fucking lost to a dreadful side again but once more, thanks to a superb ball by Redmond, Adam Armstrong gets trashed and after VAR correctly gives a penalty, up steps JWP.  Overall, it’s a good point and probably what we would’ve taken before the start and having lost here last year, it’s an improvement. However, Newcastle were shite, devoid of any real attacking intent and having shown our ruthless side in midweek at Newport, we totally failed to show it today.

I could understand Ralph’s changes today and Elyounoussi deserved to start ahead of Walcott.  With KWP on the left however with Djenepo, the two right foot players on the left wing it did mean that we were a little bit slow at getting the ball across. When Redmond came on, he was prepared to use his left foot and we scored. He also set up what became the penalty for the second goal was superb through ball to Armstrong.  Like with Elyounoussi with his performance against Newport, he has “showed up” as Ralph says, when given the chance so therefore probably deserves to start the next game.

Elyounoussi looks completely different player to what we had two years ago.  Back then he didn’t show anything. No pace, no trick, no fitness, no eye for goal, nothing. Today and on Wednesday he showed exactly what we thought we were buying when he joined and if he keeps playing like that and with the confidence he has at the moment then he is going to be a regular starter. The guy clearly does have an eye for goal as well, which puts him ahead of nearly every other wide player we have on its own.

Steve Bruce‘s post match interview was absolutely bizarre. Basically, he said that there are no decisions that get viewed on the pitch side monitor and then get overturned and he was moaning because the penalty shout was overturned but then he was saying that it was a penalty so basically Steve Bruce is moaning because the VAR produced the correct decision. Ralph meanwhile was happy with the point which he said was the least we deserved but was also wondering how on earth Djenepo missed that chance in the first half.

Steve Bruce Unhappy at Correct Decision Being Reached.

Two points from the first three games of the season doesn’t sound marvellous but from Everton away, United at home and Newcastle away, we got precisely zero points for those three games last season. There are promising signs there but we are still too easy to score against. That’s not just down to the defenders because the kamikaze effort in the 90th minute is down to the whole team.

I like that both Elyounoussi and Redmond have put their hands up and that’s the benefit of the stronger squad.  They know they have to do that to get a place in the side.  Playing how they played for us before (Elyounoussi) or last season (Redmond) isn’t going to be good enough to keep them in the team.  I have no problem with in-form players being in the side.  What drives me nuts is players being crap and getting picked regardless.

Next up is an international break and following that Saints are at home to another team who we don’t get anything out of in West Ham. They’re top of the league as it stands so it’s going to be even more difficult than usual.  Up the fucking Saints.