Premier League Match 1 - Everton 3 Southampton 1

 

New Season but Somehow Familiar

A new season usually has fans showing a level of optimism which is sometimes blind optimism because you’re just pleased that football is back.  Sometimes you have optimism because you’ve signed a bunch of new players that look good on the piece of paper that you’ve scribbled a formation down on. Today’s game is between Everton and Southampton. Everton‘s optimism level is virtually zero and I reckon Saints is hovering around a mixture of optimism and severe trepidation because we have lost three of our starters from last season, including our best defender and striker.

The money arrived at Everton about five years ago and since then they have been attempting to go from being a mid-table club to one the challenge is the top six but for one reason or another, it just hasn’t happened. Everton fans became somewhat entitled, especially when they started last season very well and were Champions-elect after about four games until it all came crashing down at St Mary‘s of all places.  Following that, Champions League winning manager Carlo Ancelotti seemed to struggle to get a tune out of his players on a consistent basis and they ended up finishing in their usual mid-table slot, which is not what was foreseen when I signed the likes of James Rodriguez last summer.  They also secured Ancelotti last summer and whilst Everton fans sneered at the narrative the manager was too good for them, they were still surprised when after one season, Carlo moved to Real Madrid. As if he wasn’t going to do that?  Short memories – Ronald Koeman etc.  Everton have replaced Ancelotti with legendary ex-Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez who has split the fan base between those who hate him and those who really fucking hate him. He’s a good manager though but I can’t wait for the first time he goes to the wrong dugout or calls his team ‘Liverpool’ in a press conference or says reds instead of blues. Duncan Ferguson will be a looming threat at his shoulder.

Last season Everton went into it having signed the aforementioned Rodriguez but this year they are shopping in a decidedly different supermarket with the arrival of Andros Townsend and Demarai Gray, both solid enough mid-table Premier League players but not the sort to get the pulses of the fans racing and you would think, unlikely to push you onto the next level.

Saints on the other hand will be interesting. I was anticipating a front line of Tella and Adams but the noises coming out of the camp suggest that Adam Armstrong will be thrown straight in which knocks Tella down to the bench unless he is preferred to Nathan Redmond on the left wing. Last year the problem was that Saints had a decent first 11 but didn’t have the options on the bench for a large majority of the season. As we stand right now we have a different question which is can the first 11 compete at a decent enough level in the Premier League. Can Adam Armstrong hit the ground running at this level? Is Salisu ready to take Vestergaard’s place?, Is Perraud going to adapt to the Premier League? Is JWP going to be fully fit? Will Ralph be able to make the right decisions now he has a bench with options on it like Walcott, Livramento, Broja, Diallo etc.

We have a difficult opening set of fixtures and we never get anything at Goodison Park but this is an opportunity to get at least a point with Everton being in a bit of a state of flux.

2 o’clock and team news and so much for my predicted team. There’s always a couple of random selections for the first game of the season especially when there’s been a tournament at international level but – what in the name of arse is that?  McCarthy in goal is surprising enough but then Livramento instead of KWP and Jack Stephens is playing instead of Bednarek.  It was pointed out to me that his wife had a baby this week so congratulations to Jan and his wife but as Roy Keane legendarily once said, it wasn’t him that had the baby…. So now we have Stephens is playing against Calvert-Lewin.  I’d have had Tella and Stuart Armstrong on the wings but instead of that we’ve got Walcott and Djenepo.  The good news is that JWP is fit and Adam Armstrong starts.  Everton for their part, have their two new wingers playing as well as all their usual shitbags - Doucoure, Richarlison and Digne.

Saints start confidently but it’s Everton who have the first effort on goal with Gray’s cross being deflected back to Allan and he middled his shot but straight at McCarthy. Gray down the right was looking lively and he again got a cross in which was nodded over the bar by Calvert-Lewin, under minimal challenge from Stephens.  The Everton striker is already very obviously staying on Stephens side of the centre back pairing.

Twenty minutes in and the Everton fans are beginning to groan a bit with not being ahead yet and then Michael Keane makes it even worse for them by fannying about with no idea what he was about to do and allowing Adams to steal in and toe-poeke it through to Armstrong and the new man confidently strode on and side-footed it over Pickford and into the top corner.  What a fucking finish that is?  Brilliant by Adams, brilliant by Armstrong and who the fuck is Danny Ings?

Armstrong has forged a reputation for having loads of shots and it’s really promising when an attempted Adams ball is sliced out left by Coleman and Armstrong just smashes it left footed from a narrow angle, forcing Pickford to beat it away at the near post.

Richarlison, as we all know, is a shitbag.  He’s playing wide left and getting no change out of Livramento and getting frustrated, so it’s no surprise when he gets into the box and SNIPER!!! Fucking cheat.  Andy Madley has seen it though and unlike his shit brother who would’ve given a penalty, books Richarlison for being a fucking cheat.

Most of the danger meanwhile is coming from the other side where Perraud and Djenepo allow Townsend to do what he always does, cut back onto his left foot and sling it into the box and again we get lucky as the cross sails over Nomansland Stephens and Calvert-Lewin gets up and heads over.

Half time and I bet the red side of Merseyside was congratulating Rafa on a job well done.  Saints have played well – not much joined up attacking but we deserve the lead just about.  Livramento has been excellent going both directions at right back, snuffing out the threat of Richarlison and looking very composed when going forward.
 
With a strong start to the second half needed, we take two minutes to throw away all the good work.  It’s entirely self-inflicted when from our throw-in, Livramento puts Stephens under pressure and he needlessly balloons it out for a corner.  Over it comes from Digne, headed out by Adams, back in by Townsend and Salisu either has a brain fart or gets a call from the keeper and leaves it, allowing Shitbag Richarlison to volley it over McCarthy from five yards.  Dreadful goal from our point of view.

The game has turned completely and the next 10 minutes are ‘watching through the fingers’ stuff.  The closest Everton get to soring is a Digne cross, which Richarlison steps over and Michael Keane’s shot is blocked well by JWP.  Around the hour mark Saints start playing again and win a couple of corners which JWP fires in with trademark accuracy to the back post but Everton deal with them.  Walcott makes his first contribution of the game, bursting down the right but he overhits the cross and when it’s returned from the far side, Adams tries to find Armstrong instead of shooting himself and the chance goes.  We need changes – Livraments is knackered and the wingers are doing nothing but it’s Everton sub Iwobi who changes the game, winning a soft free kick about 30 yards out by throwing himself into Romeu.  They take it quickly and we never get organized and eventually Iwobi nods it back to Doucoure, who turns well and lashes it into the near top corner.  Even though it’s near post, it’s kind of hard to point a finger at the keeper.
 
Once behind we get some reactionary management in the form of like for like subs – Walcott is replaced with Tella and Romeu is swapped for Diallo.  The second change is the very definition of pointless, making the team neither better in at attacking or defending sense.  All that happens is that we allow Everton to rubber stamp the win as Richarlison finds space on our non-existant left hand side and puts over a cross which is met by the diving Calvert-Lewin as Stephens jogs into view behind him.  Pathetic.  More reactionary management with Redmond coming on for Perraud so we’re treated to a few minutes of Djenepo at left back.

Well ultimately, that was a shit re-run of multiple games from last season. Fucking Groundhog Day.

A decent first half but when Everton stepped up a gear in the second half, we were soft as shit, gave away crap goals and lost with barely a whimper.  Weak mentality in the face of adversity from players and manager. Where have we heard that one before? The key point of the game was around the hour mark at 1-1 when we had asserted ourselves again after the equaliser when Ralph had a chance to bolster the team with some fresh legs but he decided to do nothing for another 12 minutes by which time we were losing.  He’s like the cricket captain who watches 3 successive boundaries and responds by swapping fielders about but not changing any positions.  There is a much bigger responsibility on Ralph to get the game management right this season. Last year when he had no options, you could use that as a mitigating factor for why he didn’t make any subs until the 75th minute. Not now however. He has been given a squad to work with, as he requested and the bench today was not lacking in quality. It was all a bit Gareth Southgate, a plethora of choices on the bench but decision constipation. Nathan Tella came on for the last 15 minutes and barely got a touch of the ball because he didn’t have enough time to make any impact and we were going backwards by then and why put Diallo on for Romeu? That’s a like for like sub. I could understand if he bought Stuart Armstrong onto playing that position. Nathan Redmond of course came on for the last 10 minutes to stop him releasing the Ralph nudes that he must have on his phone.

Stuart Armstrong is the player who helps us control the pace of the game and he is our most creative player from the wide positions but he remained unused for 90 minutes and we had to watch Walcott do absolutely nothing on the right wing and Djenepo doing his typical, all fart no shit performance on the left. Beat three players twice and then run out of pitch. Beat three players and then scuffing the cross aimlessly along the floor to an Everton defender. Apparently, Walcott and Djenepo had been making recovery runs well in pre-season… it’s clearly more important to chase back after losing the ball then actually have some creativity to make the team function.  Two incidents in particular sum Djenepo up. The first was when he played a couple of nice 1-2s with Perraud and got to the by-line and just had to knock it back to Perraud who would’ve had a shot but instead Moussa runs and runs and runs until he runs off the pitch. In the last minute he was still at it dribbling along the line until he eventually fell over the ball. Our strikers worked their arses off but they got absolutely fuck all from the wide areas. The wide players are supposed to be our most creative players. We had Walcott who barely beat a player all game and Djenepo who has got no idea what to do with the ball when it comes to delivering it into the box. The goal we got was created by the strikers themselves and other than that, they didn’t get any service from either side. Walcott and Djenepo should be no more than substitutes.  The strike pairing was a definite positive from today and the pair of them look like they will be a right handful for every defence they play against, as long as we get them the ball. It was very important that Armstrong got off the mark straight away which will give him the confidence to know he can play at this level and score goals at this level.

Who the fuck is Danny Ings?

Other problems reared their head in the second half. The left-hand side of our team was a nightmare defensively and did nothing to stop the flow of crosses coming in from that side. When the crosses did get into the middle, as illustrated by the third goal, Jack Stephens was doing his reactive ball watching usual thing of being a yard behind the player he was supposed to be marking. Basically, he wants to play as a sweeper which you can’t do in a four-man defence. Next to him, Mohammed Salisu was in the main okay but there was a major miscommunication with the goalkeeper on the first goal and they were a couple of mishit clearances which just skidded along the ground and left it in the lap of the gods were the ball ended up.

Tino Livramento looked brilliant in the first half when we’re on top but he faded badly in the second half which is expected for an 18-year-old but it does raise the question as to why he was picked to start the game when Ralph can’t possibly know at this point, whether he’s got the stamina to last 90 minutes or not? Tino has never played a full 90 minutes of men’s football in his life so it was a hell of a punt to expect him to play a decent level for the whole game. KWP must be slightly bemused as to why he was on the bench. The future down that side is surely Tino playing right wing with KWP at right back.

Everton are a fucking horrible team. You’ve got Allan and Doucoure fouling everything that comes near them and then you’ve got Richarlison, Calvert-Lewin, Iwobi and Digne diving around all over the place. Its fucking embarrassing but they undoubtedly deserved their win over the 90 minutes. Benitez realise that it wasn’t working in the first half and changed his formation by pushing Richarlison up front with Calvert-Lewin to give them twin diving strikers and we couldn’t cope with it and made no changes to combat it. We didn’t deserve anything from the game because we are soft as shit when the pressure is on. McCarthy, Stephens, Walcott, Djenepo.. none of those are good enough to be starting Premier League games. Livramento is clearly good enough but is he a 90 minute player yet? The jury is out on Perraud who may well take 10 games to get up to speed.

Whilst I forgive Perraud because it’s his first game in English football, I can’t get my head around Ralph making exactly the same mistakes as he made all the way through last year. He has no excuses now because we have options but he chooses not to use them until it’s too late. Rafa Benitez upped his game in the second half and Ralph didn’t. Ralph has to improve.

All in all, not a great start it has to be said but it’s okay, next up we have the team that smashed us 9-0 at the tail end of last season with Manchester United coming to town. They opened their season with a 5-1 home win against Leeds, so all is looking good for that one. Welcome back everyone.